Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome back to Dad Mode Activated. I'm your host, Matt, and today we're diving into a topic that every dad has felt at some point. Burnout.
(00:23):
So the title of today's episode, Dad Burnout is Real, How to Manage Stress and Overwhelm. So that feeling when the weight of responsibilities, schedules, work, and parenting all pile up until you're running off fumes.
If you've ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you're just surviving the day, this episode is for you. So let's talk about why Dad Burnout is real and more importantly, what we can do about it.
(00:51):
So for this segment, you know, understanding Dad Burnout. First off, let's just really call it what it is. Burnout isn't just about being tired.
It's mental exhaustion, emotional fatigue, and sometimes even physical stress. You start feeling disconnected, irritable, drained. If any of those things sound familiar, you might know what I'm talking about here.
(01:17):
So dads are really expected to wear so many hats. No pun intended. I do this so I don't blind you guys with my incredible baldness. But, you know, some of those hats being provider, protector, coach, handyman, problem solver, and sometimes a human jungle gym, depending on your kids and that relationship, they really do like to wrestle, I will say, and it can be fun.
(01:42):
Then you add in work stress, financial pressures, maybe a few sleepless nights, and really it's no wonder we hit a wall. So the real kicker here is Burnout doesn't just affect us, it impacts our families.
So when we're running on empty, we're not showing up as the best version of ourselves. That's why managing stress isn't just about us. It's about making sure we're present and engaged for our kids, our spouses, if that's applicable to you, and really ourselves.
(02:13):
So one thing I've noticed is how easy it is to ignore burnout. We push through, tell ourselves it's just part of the job, keep going, we'll figure it out. No big deal. But that's not really sustainable. Recognizing burnout is the first step toward doing something about it.
To really understand burnout, let's break it down into different types. Got things like emotional burnout, where you're feeling detached from your loved ones, you're not really able to connect, things that are important to them, you just kind of listen and, you know, you're not really engaging.
(02:49):
Physical burnout, where you're constantly fatigued, maybe even body aches, or you'll go to bed and get up in the morning and you just don't feel like you slept at all. You're still completely exhausted.
And then mental burnout. So we talked about this a little bit, you know, therapy is important, make sure we're doing that.
But mental burnout, losing motivation at home, or at work, difficulty concentrating, feeling like you're stuck. So dad's experience, really all three of those things at different times, and that's why managing burnout requires a multi-level approach to address emotional, physical, and mental well-being.
(03:32):
So we can take a moment to reflect on this, you know, when was the last time you truly felt energized, not caffeinated, not the, I'm just going to push through this, but actually ready to engage with life.
If it's been a while, then this episode is definitely for you. So in this next segment, signs of burnout.
(03:55):
All right, so how do you know if you're getting burnt out, or if you're overwhelmed? So here are some signs, not an all-encompassing list, I'm going to say that many times throughout this episode, but just some of the signs that might say, hey, this might be a little bit more than I can carry right now.
So constant exhaustion, even after you sleep, we talked about a little bit ago, you know, you wake up, you're just drink your coffee, the first couple of hours of the day are awesome, and then it's, then you're tired and just ready to do anything but what you're currently doing.
(04:30):
Feeling irritable, snapping at small things, you know, we've all been there where any little thing could just set us off and, and, you know, make us angry, you know, again, it's okay to feel that way, but recognize what is it that's truly making you angry?
Are you burnt out? You know, that's what we're talking about.
So feeling detached or numb, you know, again, things that are important to friends, family, coworkers, you're just kind of like, yeah, that's kind of cool, I guess, you know, really detaching yourself or feeling numb, you don't get excited about, about anything really.
(05:03):
Trouble focusing or making decisions. I think that's a big one.
And then lack of motivation, even for things you used to enjoy, for example, you know, if you like to build things, I like to build things, went through a period where I was building a lot of things.
And then I just stopped, because I think I was getting burnt out.
But it was important to recognize that I was getting burnt out and took a step away from it and did things that really worked for me to get back into it.
(05:31):
And then there's physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, maybe you're sick more often, and that's not a 100% byproduct of being burnt out.
But it just means that you are wearing down and maybe need to reevaluate some things.
Feeling like you're failing at home or at work or both, that's a good sign as well.
(05:53):
And really, if any of that sounds like you, I know it's easier said than done, but I want to encourage you not to worry because you're not alone.
I've experienced those things myself. I know that there are a lot of dads out there that would tell you the exact same thing.
They know what you mean when you say you're burnt out or you're overwhelmed.
So that's really the good news there, as well as there are ways to manage it.
(06:17):
But before I jump to the next section, another sign that often goes unnoticed is losing interest in your own well-being.
Maybe you've stopped working out. Maybe you've given up on your hobbies like we talked about a little bit ago.
Or you just feel stuck in a routine where you have no time for yourself.
Which, you know, we talk about green flags, red flags, everybody's got a flag on social media anymore about things that are good and bad.
(06:44):
But that, I would consider, is a major red flag for dads.
Burnout doesn't just come from doing too much, so I don't want to make it too confusing.
There is being burnt out from having too much on your plate, of course.
But sometimes it also occurs from doing too little of what recharges you.
(07:06):
So when was the last time you took time for yourself?
I mean, honestly ask yourself that question.
And if it's hard to answer, I think that's a pretty big answer.
So going a little bit deeper into some of those signs that we talked about earlier that dads often overlook,
how about decision fatigue?
Feeling overwhelmed by small choices. You go to work for maybe your stay at home dad, whatever your circumstances are.
(07:32):
You know, you're making decisions constantly throughout the day, and then you get home or your family gets home.
And then the age old, what are we doing for dinner?
That's a bad, you know, it plays a factor into decision fatigue.
Not to say that I personally have experience with that.
(07:54):
Resentment towards responsibilities.
So feeling better about work, home or parenting duties.
You know, if those things are aggravating to you, let's talk about it.
You know, the therapy pieces is huge. I think that's a good outlet.
Talk to your family, talk to your friends, your coworkers.
You know, maybe there is a piece of understanding that you don't quite have.
(08:16):
But still, this is another, again, a little deeper sign into being burnt out.
And then overuse of distractions.
So, you know, we talked about this in one of the previous episodes, numbing out with TV.
You know, you sit there, you've made it through all of Netflix, all of it.
Even the European shows.
(08:37):
And you're trying to find something else to do.
Social media. We talked a little bit about that too.
Sitting there flipping through your phone.
You know, you just really got to see how everyone else is doing,
because it will keep you from having to engage or do something more productive for yourself.
And then of course, there's alcohol.
Instead of dealing with stress or talking about it or working through it or focusing on yourself,
(08:59):
all of the things that we've kind of covered so far,
I'll just, you know, have a drink, numb it out, and then try again tomorrow.
Maybe. Recognizing these patterns early is really the key to turn things around before being burnt out takes its toll on your mental and physical health.
So let's go deeper into these concepts.
(09:21):
What are the hidden pressures that led to being burnt out?
Maybe the silent expectation to be the rock for your family.
Of the pressure of being a financial provider, if that's what your circumstances are.
While also having to be emotionally present.
The lack of personal time, because everything that you're doing is about providing for others.
(09:42):
So these are some real pressures, and if we don't acknowledge them, we really can't ever work to balance them out.
So in this segment, how to manage and prevent burnout.
Not an all encompassing list, folks, but these are some really good practical solutions or ways to fight back against burnout.
(10:04):
So prioritizing, prioritizing rest and sleep. Like seriously, I get it.
That is way easier said than done, but even getting a little more sleep can make a huge difference.
You try setting a consistent bedtime.
Something that you're not even going to negotiate with yourself on.
I'm going to go to bed at 9 30. That's in bed, done, laying down, falling asleep, whatever at 9 30.
(10:29):
Or catching a power nap when possible.
This is something that I feel should be normalized just like dad stuff.
Naps are okay. And sometimes it doesn't even have to be a nap, but they're still important.
You can sit for one hour, quiet, stare at a wall, do nothing, listen to podcast.
(10:50):
I think it's only 30 minutes, but you know, take that time and just be consistent with it.
And if your sleep quality is suffering, try to figure out ways to improve it.
Maybe limit screen time before you go to bed.
There are a number of different things. Holy cow.
Next, move your body.
And I know it sounds really simple, but exercise isn't just about staying in shape.
(11:13):
That's a big part of it, but it helps clear your mind and reduce stress.
A short walk, stretching, hitting the gym. All of those things can work wonders.
But even if it's just 10 minutes of stretching, and I'm not talking about the stretching like I just got out of bed and my legs asleep,
I got to stretch to wake it up.
Like 10 minutes of actual meaningful stretching.
(11:35):
Touch your toes. Give it a shot.
Get the blood flowing. 10 minutes.
I bet you'll feel a little bit different or out of breath.
Either way, it's up to you, but just try something.
Or a brisk walk.
Around the block helps. Or around your apartment complex.
Or around wherever you live.
Checking your mental load.
(11:57):
Are you carrying too much? This is actually something I've had conversations with my family about.
Maybe it's time to delegate some things.
Or to say no. We've talked about that before too.
When to say no, when things aren't necessary.
You don't have to do it all.
But sometimes, just writing it down. Everything that you have on your plate, or you perceive to be on your plate,
(12:19):
can help you realize that it can be adjusted.
Or there might be some room for adjustment.
So remember, we talked about writing out what we do in a day, and that's too much work. Who wants to do that?
But it really is worth it. You break it down to yourself, and then you can start to find like,
I should maybe talk to somebody about this in particular.
Finding small moments for yourself, whether it's listening to music, reading,
(12:43):
even a few deep breaths while you're in the car, before you walk in the house.
Find time to recharge. Even five minutes of quiet time can help reset your mindset.
And then talk about it. Don't bottle it up.
Find a friend, your spouse again, applicable to you.
Or a therapist. There it is again.
Or a therapist to talk through what you're feeling.
(13:07):
The more we talk about burnout, the easier it is to find solutions.
And then remember, you're more than what your to-do list is.
You're worth as a measure by how much you accomplish in a day.
You have to give yourself some grace sometimes.
It's okay if everything on your list doesn't get done today.
Just have a plan, write it out, and I'm sure you'll work through that list over time,
(13:32):
in a time frame that's more realistic.
Make time for fun. It does get overlooked quite often.
The one was the last time you did something just for fun, just because.
Something not tied to productivity, work, or responsibility.
You know, carve out time for those hobbies or activities that bring you joy.
And then get outside.
(13:54):
A simple change of scenery can help break the burnout cycle.
Whether it's a short hike, we talked about walking around the neighborhood even,
down the weather, of course.
A trip to the park with your kids, or just sitting on the porch or somewhere.
Being outside can have a huge impact on your mood, specifically on a sunny day.
(14:15):
It works for me.
And then lastly, you know, final thoughts.
You know, dad's burnout is real.
But you don't have to go through it alone.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a step back, breathe,
and then start with one small change.
Take your list. Take that time where you're relaxing, write it out.
(14:36):
It'll help you figure it out.
Because ultimately, you do matter.
To your family, to your kids, and to yourself.
So if this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts.
You can shoot me a message on social media, specifically YouTube, more than likely.
But dad mode activated on YouTube.
(14:57):
Or share this episode with a fellow dad who might need to hear it.
Might need some way to work through that.
And then here's my challenge for you this week.
Do one thing that recharges you.
Whether it's a walk, a conversation, 10 minutes of peace.
You just have to make it happen.
Your well-being isn't just important.
It's essential.
(15:18):
So as always, thanks for tuning in.
You really are doing better than you think.
So make sure to keep showing up, keep leading, and remember to keep dad mode activated.
See you next time.