240. How to Change Your Dating Patterns After Divorce

You did the therapy. You read the books. You know your childhood patterns. So why do you keep running into the same toxic situations?

Here's what I've discovered after six years of coaching divorced women: the awareness you need goes deeper than you think.

Yes, you know your family-of-origin patterns. But there's a second layer most women miss—the conditioning around how women "should" behave in relationships with men.

Think about it. You match with someone on an app, and the moment he shows interest, something shifts inside you. You feel pressure to prove your loyalty. To respond on his timeline. To show gratitude that he chose you.

That's not your childhood trauma. That's decades of programming about what women owe men.

This conditioning affects how you see your body, how you feel about dating multiple people, and how you respond when a man expects access to your time and attention.

The path forward? Notice without judgment. Slow down. Observe your knee-jerk reactions. Ask yourself: what belief drives this behavior?

Then decide what works for you—not what society dictates.

Self-compassion matters here. Shame will surface. That's okay. Love yourself through it. Adjust without beating yourself up.

You hold the power to create new patterns that lead you to the right person.

Ready to break free from the patterns that hold you back?

Schedule a dating consultation call with me and let's map out your path to a relationship that works for you.