August 31, 2024 • 20 mins
DAYnamics Show - OTC 38: Unlock Deeper Connections Through Your Listening Language
In this episode of the DAYnamics Show, Marianna explores the difference between simply hearing and truly listening under the umbrella of 'listening language'.
Discover the various listening styles, the importance of being fully present, and how attentive listening can transform your relationships. Tune in to enhance your communication skills and embrace a more dynamic way of living.
References in the Podcast:
Blog: https://dynamicsseries.com/blogs/f/what-is-your-listening-language
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Note: All content is for informational and entertainment purposes. You may also hear us referred to as Shownamics (Show + Dynamics) or Podnamics (Podcast + Dynamics). Subscribe. Share. Shift. Episodes are 5–30 minutes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone and welcome to the Dynamic Show
where we remind you to alignwith your own dynamic well-being
every day.
I'm Marianna, your guide ontoday's journey.
So first I just want to saythank you so much for being with
(00:23):
us and know that there is areason why you are here.
Today we're focusing on one ofour unscripted and unpredictable
off-the-cuff recordings,exploring the subject of
listening language listeninglanguage.
(00:45):
I like to set the tone for ourtime together, because the
intention is to experience thisshow fully.
So I ask that you bring yourattention to this now moment and
listen with an open heart andmind, and listen with an open
(01:08):
heart and mind.
Now, I'm often asked why I picka topic, and I think sometimes
it's important to share thatbecause otherwise it could just
be you know the biggest eventsor what's trending or whatever
it is, but I follow my guidanceand so it's usually.
(01:28):
Something is up, something'sgoing on in my life, an
experience of I've had, or Ijust wake up and go this is what
I need to talk about today,because it's off the cuff,
there's no real script to follow.
I have some sense of what I'mgoing to talk about, but most of
(01:49):
the time it's just being inthis moment and being guided
what to say.
And if I get an idea or thought, I just say it Because, again,
the reason why you are herelistening is because there could
be one word or one sentencethat I say and that is what you
(02:10):
needed to listen to, to changeyour perspective, to change
something about your day,whatever it might be.
So, again, you can't questionsometimes what you say, if
you're just guided to say it.
Obviously, we want it to be inan affirmative, positive thing,
(02:33):
but sometimes what comes out,what comes out, that's just the
way it works.
It's just the way it works Now.
I have talked about doing thislistening language podcast show
for quite a while and I justfeel like today's the time is
(03:02):
right, because I feel like it'sjust an important part of living
a dynamic life and it is acornerstone to effective
communication.
Let's define what listeningactually means.
So it says give attention to asound or an effort to hear
(03:23):
something.
So here's a question to ourlisteners Can you relate to that
?
Do you think you are a goodlistener?
Do you listen or do you hear,or do you do both?
I mean, I guess every situationis a little bit different, but
(03:46):
it's a really good question toask yourself, and you just want
to make you more conscious aboutthe listening factor, not only
from what you listen to others,but listening to yourself as
well, because they're the twopoints that we're going to be
talking about the most in thispodcast is how do you listen to
(04:11):
others and how do you listen toyourself?
So, listening to others Now,when you look at listening as a
general listening language, as ageneral idea, there's so many
languages and we're not talkingabout the over 7,000 different
(04:36):
languages that people speaklanguages, emotional languages,
support languages, the languagesof communication and then
there's written and there's bodyand there's spoken, and there's
just so many of them.
And I know that we did a podcaston support language.
(05:00):
So if you haven't listened tothat, then listen maybe to that
after you're listening to thislistening one, because language
is so again, so much more thanwhat comes out of your mouth,
like when I look at you know thespoken, the unspoken, the body,
like the language that you andjust being is amazing if you pay
(05:24):
attention to it.
So then we're, you know we gointo the listening styles and
that's like active and passiveand silent and critical and
compassionate, I mean, the listgoes on and on with that.
But it's like when you arelistening to others, are you
(05:48):
listening?
Are you really listening tothem?
Are you hearing what they say?
Do you repeat back what theysay?
I'll give you a little exampleabout that is I was told the
other day it's like you have agreat memory and I said thank
(06:09):
you, as most people would dowhen they're given a compliment,
but then they're like youactually remembered.
So that must mean that youlistened to what I actually said
and I said, of course I do.
If you're in front of me and I'mhaving a conversation, I'm
(06:29):
being present, I'm being in thepresence of our conversation.
Therefore, I am not onlylistening, but then I'm replying
back.
I'm responding back.
I may be asking you a questionor just confirming what it is
that you're saying, or askingyou to share more about that,
(06:52):
because if it's important enoughfor you to share in a
conversation that I have chosento be in with you, then by all
means I am going to be listening, active listening, and then I
can have.
(07:15):
Well, I guess what happenssometimes is, when you do listen
to, it may go through some ofyour own filters, you know.
So you might, someone might,say a word, and then it triggers
something or it affects you ina certain way or an emotion
comes up around that and ittakes you to a different place.
So then you just like to bevery present.
(07:37):
When you're and in the presenceof listening to the language of
others is just putting yourselfstuff aside after you are aware
of what's happening and justeven if you have to take a deep
breath and go, okay, I'm herelistening and having a
(07:58):
conversation with this person,so I'll address my stuff later.
Thanks for coming up and thenwe'll continue on our
conversation.
So, again that you are presentand I know that a majority of us
when we speak Note that amajority of us when we speak,
(08:26):
and not only when we speak butwhen we're listening to someone
else that when it's our turn, doyou not want that same respect,
that someone that can actuallybe there and actually listen
fully to you?
Now, we understand, we get it.
There's going to be times whereit's just not the right time,
but you'll know that and thebest way to get away from any
(08:48):
kind of disappointment aroundthat or impatience or
expectation stuff is just ifit's important enough that you
want someone's full attention,then maybe go to them first and
go and hey, I just need to chatwith you about this.
Is now a good time.
(09:08):
If it's not, then let me knowwhen where I can have your
focused attention, where there'sno distractions.
You know you're not on thecomputer, you're not watching tv
, you're not on your phone,you're not in the middle of
something else like cooking orcleaning or this or that, but
that you know if it's importantenough that you're there to
(09:29):
listen and be, and then theyhave the agreement.
So there's, you know, I knowthings come up when that happens
as well, but if you're askingsomeone for their time and
attention to really hear andlisten, then if you've got their
(09:52):
agreement, then it goes a wholelot better.
And if that needs to berescheduled because something
comes up, then so be it, becauseI know life happens.
However, if you can set asidethat time, and it's more like
it's a respect thing as well.
(10:14):
Now the other thing is listeningto yourself.
Do you listen to your guidance,your intuition, how you talk to
yourself?
Do you listen for those ideas,those nudges, what your body's
(10:36):
telling you, what your mind'stelling you, whatever?
Do you actually listen to that.
So I put that out to ourlistening audience.
It's like is this making senseto you so far?
You know, you see that there'sthe two, there's the outer
listening and the innerlistening, and are you getting
(11:00):
some better ideas around thewhole listening stuff?
So let me give you an example, abody example.
Do you listen to your body?
Simple question, the impulses,what it needs, does it need to
(11:22):
rest, does it need to sleep,does it need to eat?
Does it need to move, does itneed to be still, does it need
to whatever it needs to?
Do you actually listen to it?
Do you have that self-talk andthat conversation and that
listening language with it thatsays, hey, I'm going to listen
(11:44):
to my body?
Now, if you listen to any of ourother podcasts or read any of
our blogs or vehicle videoseverything that's on our
Dynamics Series website there'sso many resources as to how to
tune in to yourself and toreally listen to what it is that
(12:05):
you need.
So, for my body, we had done apodcast just a bit ago and it
was like just getting more intune with what my body was
saying.
And you know, I just use someknowing affirmations.
You can use whatever you want,you know, show me, since I
what's next?
I am, I allow, I receive, I amin alignment with whatever it is
(12:32):
that you want to, and you canmake it an actual intention for
the day or for the week or forthe month or whatever it is, to
be really in tune with your body.
So that's what I did.
I was in tune and listened tomy body and ate different foods
and seen how I reacted to themand where did it show up in my
(12:58):
body, how did it feel?
When it felt like resting, thenthat was it.
I went and rested.
When you really have the abilityand I understand people are
busy, people have to work, weall have a life but if you can
be more aware of what ishappening and listening to your
(13:22):
body, then again there's morebalance and then you can live a
more dynamic life because you'reactually listening and you're
open to those new ideas andyou're aligning.
And you're open to those newideas and you're aligning and
you're allowing and you'reempowered.
So the question now is how doyou listen?
(13:49):
What do you want your listeninglanguage to be?
Again, not only for yourself,for others.
If you do and be that which youwould like to receive, then you
(14:10):
will have more balance.
You know that old saying aboutyou know having how you treat
others.
I mean treat others the way youwant to be treated.
I mean that's an old sayingthat really reflects the law of
attraction like attracts like.
So if you're listening toyourself, listening to your body
, listening to others, then theywill naturally do that for you
(14:33):
as well, because you're trulylistening and listen.
Sometimes it's just better tolisten than it is to talk.
Listening is, to me, one ofthose ones that are right up
there, because you want to beacknowledged, do you not, when
you're talking, and we did.
(14:59):
I did a course, like a longtime ago, after I wrote a book
Not, I wrote a book, I wish Idid, but I felt like I did
because it resonated with me.
I listened to an author it mayhave been John Gray, I'm not
(15:20):
sure if I get that right, but Ican clarify that in the show
notes and that was just aboutreally sitting across from your
partner or whoever it is work,family and really learning how
to communicate eye contact, bodydirectly towards them,
(15:45):
mirroring them, repeating whatthey say Not word for word, but
you know, this is what I heardyou say and really taking that
in before you're wanting to justquickly respond.
Well, this is what I would do.
Or I understand, because thisis what happened to me.
I understand because this iswhat happened to me In that
(16:07):
moment.
It's about them sharing withyou, so it's about honoring and
acknowledging them, and sohaving that attention brought to
me has helped me be a betterlistener.
Now, do I listen, great, allthe time?
No, because, again, like I said, life happens and things come
(16:28):
up, but when I'm in a focusedsituation or someone has asked
me, or it's a weekly thing or ameeting or whatever it might be,
then I'm going to be there withthem listening.
So how do you want yourlistening language to be?
(16:51):
So now I'm just going to go onto the DynaTools, which is
dynamics and take-home toolstogether.
We did a blog on this topic aswell, and I'll put that link in
the show notes.
But one of the things that Itook from the blog that I'll
(17:13):
share here is that it's likeP-R-E, there's like a presence
for listening language, like bepresent, and then there's
reflective for the R, which isjust reflect back to them.
Reflect, like I said, in yourbody language, in your spoken
language back to them and thenbe empathetic.
(17:36):
The E might change a little bitbecause it could be whatever
emotion it is that you want tohave, but it's more about you
know.
Having a sense of understandingwhere that person is and why
you know.
Having a sense of understandingwhere that person is and why
you know they're sharing.
What they're sharing and howthat may make them feel Doesn't
mean you take it on.
It just means that you can beempathetic, that someone's going
(17:59):
through a certain thing orsharing a certain piece of
information with you.
So they're the dynatools I wantto leave you with, as well as
some of the other things thatwe've talked about.
So, to summarize, we shared theperspective on listening
language.
We shared an example and I'llchallenge you to be a better
(18:24):
listener.
That's what I'd like you to doFirst of all, decide what kind
of listening language you wantto have and then to just be a
better listener, including toyourself.
And we shared the Dynatools.
So now I ask you, how will youuse this dynamic energy in your
life now, this listeninglanguage energy, and how has
(18:52):
this changed a bit of yourperspective?
We love your affirmativefeedback.
We love your support.
We have more compelling showscoming up and more potent past
recordings, so you just go andsee what catches your attention.
On our website,dynamicsshowinfo or
dynamicsseriescom slash podcastPlus, read a more defined
(19:17):
definition about being dynamic.
Oh, and I do need to add thatall material are copyrighted and
are for informational purposes.
So until we meet again, thankyou, thank you.
Thank you for listening withyour listening language and make
it a dynamic day.
Hello everyone and welcome to the Dynamic Show
where we remind you to alignwith your own dynamic well-being
every day.
I'm Marianna, your guide ontoday's journey.
So first I just want to saythank you so much for being with
(00:23):
us and know that there is areason why you are here.
Today we're focusing on one ofour unscripted and unpredictable
off-the-cuff recordings,exploring the subject of
listening language listeninglanguage.
(00:45):
I like to set the tone for ourtime together, because the
intention is to experience thisshow fully.
So I ask that you bring yourattention to this now moment and
listen with an open heart andmind, and listen with an open
(01:08):
heart and mind.
Now, I'm often asked why I picka topic, and I think sometimes
it's important to share thatbecause otherwise it could just
be you know the biggest eventsor what's trending or whatever
it is, but I follow my guidanceand so it's usually.
(01:28):
Something is up, something'sgoing on in my life, an
experience of I've had, or Ijust wake up and go this is what
I need to talk about today,because it's off the cuff,
there's no real script to follow.
I have some sense of what I'mgoing to talk about, but most of
(01:49):
the time it's just being inthis moment and being guided
what to say.
And if I get an idea or thought, I just say it Because, again,
the reason why you are herelistening is because there could
be one word or one sentencethat I say and that is what you
(02:10):
needed to listen to, to changeyour perspective, to change
something about your day,whatever it might be.
So, again, you can't questionsometimes what you say, if
you're just guided to say it.
Obviously, we want it to be inan affirmative, positive thing,
(02:33):
but sometimes what comes out,what comes out, that's just the
way it works.
It's just the way it works Now.
I have talked about doing thislistening language podcast show
for quite a while and I justfeel like today's the time is
(03:02):
right, because I feel like it'sjust an important part of living
a dynamic life and it is acornerstone to effective
communication.
Let's define what listeningactually means.
So it says give attention to asound or an effort to hear
(03:23):
something.
So here's a question to ourlisteners Can you relate to that
?
Do you think you are a goodlistener?
Do you listen or do you hear,or do you do both?
I mean, I guess every situationis a little bit different, but
(03:46):
it's a really good question toask yourself, and you just want
to make you more conscious aboutthe listening factor, not only
from what you listen to others,but listening to yourself as
well, because they're the twopoints that we're going to be
talking about the most in thispodcast is how do you listen to
(04:11):
others and how do you listen toyourself?
So, listening to others Now,when you look at listening as a
general listening language, as ageneral idea, there's so many
languages and we're not talkingabout the over 7,000 different
(04:36):
languages that people speaklanguages, emotional languages,
support languages, the languagesof communication and then
there's written and there's bodyand there's spoken, and there's
just so many of them.
And I know that we did a podcaston support language.
(05:00):
So if you haven't listened tothat, then listen maybe to that
after you're listening to thislistening one, because language
is so again, so much more thanwhat comes out of your mouth,
like when I look at you know thespoken, the unspoken, the body,
like the language that you andjust being is amazing if you pay
(05:24):
attention to it.
So then we're, you know we gointo the listening styles and
that's like active and passiveand silent and critical and
compassionate, I mean, the listgoes on and on with that.
But it's like when you arelistening to others, are you
(05:48):
listening?
Are you really listening tothem?
Are you hearing what they say?
Do you repeat back what theysay?
I'll give you a little exampleabout that is I was told the
other day it's like you have agreat memory and I said thank
(06:09):
you, as most people would dowhen they're given a compliment,
but then they're like youactually remembered.
So that must mean that youlistened to what I actually said
and I said, of course I do.
If you're in front of me and I'mhaving a conversation, I'm
(06:29):
being present, I'm being in thepresence of our conversation.
Therefore, I am not onlylistening, but then I'm replying
back.
I'm responding back.
I may be asking you a questionor just confirming what it is
that you're saying, or askingyou to share more about that,
(06:52):
because if it's important enoughfor you to share in a
conversation that I have chosento be in with you, then by all
means I am going to be listening, active listening, and then I
can have.
(07:15):
Well, I guess what happenssometimes is, when you do listen
to, it may go through some ofyour own filters, you know.
So you might, someone might,say a word, and then it triggers
something or it affects you ina certain way or an emotion
comes up around that and ittakes you to a different place.
So then you just like to bevery present.
(07:37):
When you're and in the presenceof listening to the language of
others is just putting yourselfstuff aside after you are aware
of what's happening and justeven if you have to take a deep
breath and go, okay, I'm herelistening and having a
(07:58):
conversation with this person,so I'll address my stuff later.
Thanks for coming up and thenwe'll continue on our
conversation.
So, again that you are presentand I know that a majority of us
when we speak Note that amajority of us when we speak,
(08:26):
and not only when we speak butwhen we're listening to someone
else that when it's our turn, doyou not want that same respect,
that someone that can actuallybe there and actually listen
fully to you?
Now, we understand, we get it.
There's going to be times whereit's just not the right time,
but you'll know that and thebest way to get away from any
(08:48):
kind of disappointment aroundthat or impatience or
expectation stuff is just ifit's important enough that you
want someone's full attention,then maybe go to them first and
go and hey, I just need to chatwith you about this.
Is now a good time.
(09:08):
If it's not, then let me knowwhen where I can have your
focused attention, where there'sno distractions.
You know you're not on thecomputer, you're not watching tv
, you're not on your phone,you're not in the middle of
something else like cooking orcleaning or this or that, but
that you know if it's importantenough that you're there to
(09:29):
listen and be, and then theyhave the agreement.
So there's, you know, I knowthings come up when that happens
as well, but if you're askingsomeone for their time and
attention to really hear andlisten, then if you've got their
(09:52):
agreement, then it goes a wholelot better.
And if that needs to berescheduled because something
comes up, then so be it, becauseI know life happens.
However, if you can set asidethat time, and it's more like
it's a respect thing as well.
(10:14):
Now the other thing is listeningto yourself.
Do you listen to your guidance,your intuition, how you talk to
yourself?
Do you listen for those ideas,those nudges, what your body's
(10:36):
telling you, what your mind'stelling you, whatever?
Do you actually listen to that.
So I put that out to ourlistening audience.
It's like is this making senseto you so far?
You know, you see that there'sthe two, there's the outer
listening and the innerlistening, and are you getting
(11:00):
some better ideas around thewhole listening stuff?
So let me give you an example, abody example.
Do you listen to your body?
Simple question, the impulses,what it needs, does it need to
(11:22):
rest, does it need to sleep,does it need to eat?
Does it need to move, does itneed to be still, does it need
to whatever it needs to?
Do you actually listen to it?
Do you have that self-talk andthat conversation and that
listening language with it thatsays, hey, I'm going to listen
(11:44):
to my body?
Now, if you listen to any of ourother podcasts or read any of
our blogs or vehicle videoseverything that's on our
Dynamics Series website there'sso many resources as to how to
tune in to yourself and toreally listen to what it is that
(12:05):
you need.
So, for my body, we had done apodcast just a bit ago and it
was like just getting more intune with what my body was
saying.
And you know, I just use someknowing affirmations.
You can use whatever you want,you know, show me, since I
what's next?
I am, I allow, I receive, I amin alignment with whatever it is
(12:32):
that you want to, and you canmake it an actual intention for
the day or for the week or forthe month or whatever it is, to
be really in tune with your body.
So that's what I did.
I was in tune and listened tomy body and ate different foods
and seen how I reacted to themand where did it show up in my
(12:58):
body, how did it feel?
When it felt like resting, thenthat was it.
I went and rested.
When you really have the abilityand I understand people are
busy, people have to work, weall have a life but if you can
be more aware of what ishappening and listening to your
(13:22):
body, then again there's morebalance and then you can live a
more dynamic life because you'reactually listening and you're
open to those new ideas andyou're aligning.
And you're open to those newideas and you're aligning and
you're allowing and you'reempowered.
So the question now is how doyou listen?
(13:49):
What do you want your listeninglanguage to be?
Again, not only for yourself,for others.
If you do and be that which youwould like to receive, then you
(14:10):
will have more balance.
You know that old saying aboutyou know having how you treat
others.
I mean treat others the way youwant to be treated.
I mean that's an old sayingthat really reflects the law of
attraction like attracts like.
So if you're listening toyourself, listening to your body
, listening to others, then theywill naturally do that for you
(14:33):
as well, because you're trulylistening and listen.
Sometimes it's just better tolisten than it is to talk.
Listening is, to me, one ofthose ones that are right up
there, because you want to beacknowledged, do you not, when
you're talking, and we did.
(14:59):
I did a course, like a longtime ago, after I wrote a book
Not, I wrote a book, I wish Idid, but I felt like I did
because it resonated with me.
I listened to an author it mayhave been John Gray, I'm not
(15:20):
sure if I get that right, but Ican clarify that in the show
notes and that was just aboutreally sitting across from your
partner or whoever it is work,family and really learning how
to communicate eye contact, bodydirectly towards them,
(15:45):
mirroring them, repeating whatthey say Not word for word, but
you know, this is what I heardyou say and really taking that
in before you're wanting to justquickly respond.
Well, this is what I would do.
Or I understand, because thisis what happened to me.
I understand because this iswhat happened to me In that
(16:07):
moment.
It's about them sharing withyou, so it's about honoring and
acknowledging them, and sohaving that attention brought to
me has helped me be a betterlistener.
Now, do I listen, great, allthe time?
No, because, again, like I said, life happens and things come
(16:28):
up, but when I'm in a focusedsituation or someone has asked
me, or it's a weekly thing or ameeting or whatever it might be,
then I'm going to be there withthem listening.
So how do you want yourlistening language to be?
(16:51):
So now I'm just going to go onto the DynaTools, which is
dynamics and take-home toolstogether.
We did a blog on this topic aswell, and I'll put that link in
the show notes.
But one of the things that Itook from the blog that I'll
(17:13):
share here is that it's likeP-R-E, there's like a presence
for listening language, like bepresent, and then there's
reflective for the R, which isjust reflect back to them.
Reflect, like I said, in yourbody language, in your spoken
language back to them and thenbe empathetic.
(17:36):
The E might change a little bitbecause it could be whatever
emotion it is that you want tohave, but it's more about you
know.
Having a sense of understandingwhere that person is and why
you know.
Having a sense of understandingwhere that person is and why
you know they're sharing.
What they're sharing and howthat may make them feel Doesn't
mean you take it on.
It just means that you can beempathetic, that someone's going
(17:59):
through a certain thing orsharing a certain piece of
information with you.
So they're the dynatools I wantto leave you with, as well as
some of the other things thatwe've talked about.
So, to summarize, we shared theperspective on listening
language.
We shared an example and I'llchallenge you to be a better
(18:24):
listener.
That's what I'd like you to doFirst of all, decide what kind
of listening language you wantto have and then to just be a
better listener, including toyourself.
And we shared the Dynatools.
So now I ask you, how will youuse this dynamic energy in your
life now, this listeninglanguage energy, and how has
(18:52):
this changed a bit of yourperspective?
We love your affirmativefeedback.
We love your support.
We have more compelling showscoming up and more potent past
recordings, so you just go andsee what catches your attention.
On our website,dynamicsshowinfo or
dynamicsseriescom slash podcastPlus, read a more defined
(19:17):
definition about being dynamic.
Oh, and I do need to add thatall material are copyrighted and
are for informational purposes.
So until we meet again, thankyou, thank you.
Thank you for listening withyour listening language and make
it a dynamic day.
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