#33 - Marriage Ministry with Barbara and Eric Conklin - Deacons Discussions Drinks

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:10):
Did you ever stop and think? Why spend too much time
getting ready? I don't know asingle thing that I haven't
noticed. Then when I see you myheart starts racing, but I don't

(00:32):
know if the length is Jason. No.
It's the same thing my handsstart shaking.

Tim Stout (00:58):
Today is April 9 2021. Friday in the octave of
Easter. And we are live fromslon tave. Hope I say the right
slideshow slideshow public housein Georgetown, Kentucky. And
this is deacons discussions,drinks.

Unknown (01:19):
So much that I'm still the same guy. When I see my
heart starts raising, but Idon't know what the length is.
And it's the same for my handsstart shaking. This

Tim Stout (01:58):
Hey, good evening, everybody, and welcome to triple
D live from slot sludge. publichouse, also known as the pub in
Georgetown, for what we willknow will be an exciting
discussion. I'm digging him. Oh,try it again.

Dallas Kelley (02:15):
I'm taking Dallas,

Fr. Linh Nguyen (02:17):
fatherland when, hey,

Tim Stout (02:19):
if you're joining us on Facebook or YouTube, please
hit the like button subscribethe little bell in the bottom
ring. It lets you get thenotifications when we go live.
So and it also helps get theword out about what's going on.
So we're live for the third timein our history outside of the
studio, which is a little scary.
I'll be honest, because lots ofstuff goes wrong. So you know,
we plan to do this regularly.

(02:42):
Did we go out on a road? Butwhat happened? COVID COVID. So
maybe next time So anyway, howare you guys doing over there?
So

you said it was the octave of Easter. How many
days is that? Ah

Tim Stout (02:58):
eight. Very good eight.

That is impressed. Give him a beer
please.

Tim Stout (03:05):
Okay, I'll have a beer. So it's an octave of
Easter. It's the eighth day.
Where's that eighth Eighth Dayis actually the Monday following
Easter. Is that right? Or doesit is it the Sunday following
Easter

is a Sunday that would octave the eighth day
very unique for the ancienttradition? Because 8.2 actually
even though we have seven day ina week, but by bunker have a
long tradition of that.

Tim Stout (03:34):
Awesome octave. Did we survive Holy Week?

Yes, it actually once done several people that
the Easter Vigil which is thelongest of the tritium went as
smooth as it's ever went sincefather lands been here.

Tim Stout (03:51):
That was long. That was long, for sure.

Hey, we got people coming in. Steve was at
your first video was it was along?

Tim Stout (04:01):
It was long. It wasn't the longest though.
What's your longest? What's yourrecord?

What a half hours

Tim Stout (04:06):
and a half hours. So that would have been 12 hours?

1230 or something like that one

Tim Stout (04:11):
o'clock.

Almost one o'clock in the morning. Yes.

Tim Stout (04:14):
That's a long time.
But aren't you glad we didn't gothat long, Steve? Yes.

I think we had about 25 coming in here.

Tim Stout (04:20):
I had to take a day off on Monday for work. That was
worn out.

I did too.

Tim Stout (04:26):
I know you did. We went fishing. Oh,

Unknown (04:28):
that's right. It was Monday.

Tim Stout (04:30):
It was Monday. We went fishing Monday. What do you
do? Do you take off Monday? Me?
Yeah,

Unknown (04:34):
yeah.

Tim Stout (04:35):
What do you do? You play golf shot of 7777 was
invited to fish return so youreally shot a 77 wasn't legit 77

legit 77

Tim Stout (04:48):
would you hit on second?

Yeah, then I came back after what I have a
neck pain. I've been go seedoctor take care of my neck.

Tim Stout (05:00):
Hey, what's the most memorable part of Holy Week?
This year? For you guys? Well,me yeah for you

Oh man. The flies

Of course I don't know if everybody saw could see
that Oh yeah, yes.
You know we have these we havethese microphones the whole
microphone was covered in fly

Tim Stout (05:18):
it was nothing but black flag good.

No, you don't know until you do a Spanish mass
they multiply. And at one pointI was at preaching at the pulpit
so called and I feel almost likea panic attack is almost like a
movie invasion by flies. On topof you have that the experience?

(05:42):
Well, oh, yeah, I was a lot ofthem.

Unknown (05:45):
Wow.

Man was when we prostrate on Good Friday. I love
that it gets to me every year,

Tim Stout (05:54):
man was on Good Friday to was carrying that
fricking heavy cross from theparking lot. All the way up to
wish the only the way that

we always guess it the way. But I like the way
that's the way

Tim Stout (06:07):
it was a lot. 150 I have. I've got this bruise on my
shoulder. That's just like, Ialready had shoulder problems. I

don't know that. But that that is the
number one assignment. I alwaysallow our Deacon to experience
the burden. how Jesus felt. Soas being a deacon, you have to
have care that crucified thecross itself.

Tim Stout (06:30):
It's an experience.
Yeah. So Deacon john gave mesome good words of advice on the
leading up to it. He says, oh,have fun

with how long?
How long? We've been ordained.

Tim Stout (06:43):
It'd be five years, right?

You know, how many times I've carried

Tim Stout (06:48):
the row? a row? Yeah.
Five. Is that because they workout of fit guys. That was the
way that works out. Hey, ifyou're watching online, just so
you know if there's any issues.
Sorry about your luck, youshould have been here live
because we're actually streamingthrough a little square box
sitting on a stool over by thewindow. And so if it's choppy or

(07:11):
anything happens, you'll get thereplay later on. But it's your
own fault. So and I see I get atext from my wife. It keeps
cutting out. Sorry, you shouldhave been here. But we are
recording it. So it'll it'llbuffer up to so if you're if
you're watching it, hey, justwait a little bit and let it
buffer because it'll still catchup over time. So anyway, hey,

(07:33):
we're live here. We've got someguests with us tonight. Barbara
and Eric Conklin does say theright Conklin. Yes. Do you like
the emphasis on the K Conklin oron the car? I

Eric Conklin (07:46):
think just Conklin

Tim Stout (07:48):
emphasize the K. It sounds to me, Barbara and Eric,
welcome to the show. Thank you.
Great to have you. We're we'regonna be talking about tonight,
that you guys are in charge ofthe new I'm gonna call it new.
You may not call it new. I'llcall it new the new marriage
ministry. Is it new? Yes.

Unknown (08:09):
Can you refer

refreshing raised thanks to COVID it would have
been less new if it wasn't forCOVID. Right.

Tim Stout (08:16):
So new is relative?
Because Have we ever had onebefore?

I started it

Tim Stout (08:26):
before that even before that. Do we have anything
before? No, no. So this is new.
brand spanking new. We're heretoday talk about what's involved
in it. We're gonna talk aboutwhat you think about it, where
it's gonna go, how it's gonnawork, all that stuff, but first,
we want to find out by you all.

(08:46):
So you all get do your ownintroduction. So who wants to go
first? Barbara, for sure. So wetalk a lot. I told you, we
talked long we talked, you know,10 minutes. 10 minutes, so Okay,
so that's now you're warmed up.
Now what's next? What

Unknown (09:01):
do you want to know?
What do you want to

Tim Stout (09:04):
start your freight journey? Pardon started birth.
Started. Where were you born?

Remember that far?

Unknown (09:10):
Oh, no. I'll be impressive.

Tim Stout (09:12):
I always like to start. Are you cradle Catholic?

Barbara Conklin (09:14):
I am a cradle Catholic. Yes.

Tim Stout (09:16):
So you're been a Catholic your whole life. I
have. Helmut Tell me about whereyou were born then and what your
home parish?

So I was born in Columbus, Ohio and lived in
Marysville, Ohio, small townoutside of Columbus and grew up
there. Got First Communionconfirmation all there in
Marysville, Ohio and loved myfaith growing up a cradle
Catholic parents grandparentshad a lot of experience in
depth, I guess I would say frompre Vatican kind of stuff from

(09:45):
my grandma versus the new postVatican two situation with a
really dynamic group familygroup that my parents were
involved in when I was reallyyoung. So I hadn't really
engaged I guess Catholic.
Growing up but there was not aCatholic school around us but I
went to a loo In school, so it'sreally close. I just learned a
lot about Luther versus not. Notso much about married wishes.

(10:05):
But so so I had a lot ofreligious I guess, education and
experience growing up. So.

Tim Stout (10:14):
So Catholic from the beginning, Eric, um, the answer
to that question is no,

no, I was not. I grew up in a Presbyterian Church
in Ohio. So we actually went tothe same high school, but I was
from a smaller town called Oh,stranger, which nobody's heard
of. Say it again.

Tim Stout (10:29):
Oh, stranger. Oh, oh, strangers. It says,

unless you're a golf fan, or only our only claim
to fame is we we had a winner ofthe British Open back in 2003.
Maybe you've been Curtis. So Iplayed little league with. I
haven't talked to him in 25years. 35 years, but that's our
claim to fame. But yeah, I grewup growing the Presbyterian
Church with my, my family andgrandparents. We have very small
rural church, maybe your averageattendance was 30 people on a

(10:53):
Sunday. So that's pretty small.
Very small.

Tim Stout (10:57):
How big was your parish?

The parish, you know, idea. A few 100? Smaller
than St. JOHN, I

Unknown (11:03):
would say but

those were considered small. Yeah, it's

larger than St.
JOHN now though. Now

it is. Yeah.

Now y'all went to the same high school was you
same grade or?

I'm a year older.

Tim Stout (11:13):
Good one. That's a good one, as he did well,
because, you know, well, we'llask you, you know, eventually,
we're not trying to get your agewhen we ask these questions. But
we'll ask the question, like,how long you've been married,
you know, when you get marriedwhen you graduate?
So, so you guys, both from Ohio.
met in high school? No. went tothe same high school but never

(11:36):
met. How's that possible? Was itwas who was too cool for who?

And either we just but 1000 kids in our high
schools and not a small not Imean, not like Scott County, but
sizable. And I don't know why wedidn't meet

different circles of friends. You know,
different age groups, differentcircles of friends. No, I know
who he was. You know.

She was the quiet chick.

Barbara quiet chick.

I thought that's the only reason I knew who she
was. Oh, there

Tim Stout (12:05):
you go. Father. You got somebody that can say,

for years. sake.
But she's an excellent singer,by the way. Well, I know that
claim it.

Unknown (12:13):
I know that. Well.
Moving on.

Where did you play sports in high school?

in high school. I just played football baseball my
freshman year but playedbasketball growing up to I mean,
I wasn't the quintessential jockor the cool kid by any means
either. Just that I knew herfrom the choir. And she had long
blonde hair. Beautiful girlsinging in the choir with a
beautiful voice. So that's how Iknew she was but we never
actually asked any. I tell herstory all the time. But I I

(12:41):
don't know. We never had theoccasion to meet I don't think
no.

Tim Stout (12:45):
That's one of the first lessons of marriage. We
just witnessed just that. ofjust talking characters talking
about how he remembered you. Imean, just Excellent. Excellent.
Thanks. So went to high schooldidn't really meet in high
school. So when did y'all meet?
how did how did this relationrelationship blossom and to take
the next step? Do you

go ahead?
You're good at the story. Thestory? Yeah.

She can talk about the marriage ministry, and I'll
just talk about it. So the nexttime we interacted would have
been good friends of ours gotmarried, and we were both in the
wedding party, which would havebeen a year that was 2000,
roughly a year after I graduatedcollege, even our age way, I
don't care. And so we actuallyescorted each other down the

(13:31):
aisle and their wedding. Whichsounds like a really good
romance story, right? Except forwe were both dating somebody
else. And so we I distinctlyremembered it and talking to my
friends who were in the weddingparty about how lucky I was that
I got to escort her down theaisle. But we were both in
relationships with other peoplethat time, so we never, never
made a connection there. I

Tim Stout (13:50):
guess. So that you all met at a wedding? Wow. Yeah,
I'm seeing a recurring motifevery time.

At the wedding.
Did you know you went to thesame high school? Yeah.

Yeah. But the better part is when we met
again, really met?

Yeah. Is that our relationship start? Yeah. Well,
there was one time before that.
Yeah.

There was really Matt, what does that mean? What
does that mean?

Yeah, when our relationship started, so
ironically enough, now thatwe're in Kentucky, we we met at
a Kentucky Derby party inLouisville.

Tim Stout (14:21):
But you were living in Ohio.

She was I? Was I still living with them? No, I
think I was living in Ohio. Ihad friends I lived with for six
months when I trained for myfirst job out of college in
Louisville. And then I think I'dbe back to

the same friends that we walked on there.
Maybe

we were in our wedding couple.

Tim Stout (14:38):
And they're still still married. Oh. Hold on. I
think I might have a soundeffect for that. There is a
sound of everything. Oh, I gottaturn it up though.

Definitely Derby party and we actually went to
the infield of the derby thatday, and we just kinda hit a
lot. They didn't hang out allday. And they started talking
and then I called her. But it'sbeen a long time since I've been
single, obviously. But yeah,there's got to be a real you
wait a certain number of days Icalled her like, like we saw
each other Sunday after thederby. I called her like Monday
or Tuesday. I

Tim Stout (15:13):
can't remember. I mean, there's rules. There's
rules for when you call peoplesupposedly.
Did you know that? Did you knowthat?

The unwritten rule, right?

Unknown (15:21):
I didn't know because

I distinctly remember telling myself I needed
to wait longer, like you don'twant to look too anxious. Right.
But I couldn't wait longer. Icalled her and asked her out for
the next I think the nextweekend.

And she said no, because you know, she said,
Yeah,

Tim Stout (15:35):
he's pushing. I can't believe he's calling. It's only
been 48. Yeah. So the rest ishistory. So y'all dated through?
That was after I was aftercollege. So.

But a little less than two years, I

Tim Stout (15:50):
guess. Yes. We got married. So it took you a while
to work up to that two years, along time? Well, we

took a little break in there, too. I was going
through some my parents wereactually getting divorced at the
time. So we took a break. Andall of this kind of feeds into
the story of all this, you'llheal here and later. So we did
take a break because I neededsome time. And then we realized
I was mistaken and needing thattime, and I needed him more.

Unknown (16:14):
Bam.

Tim Stout (16:16):
Does that make you feel good? It's all good.
Awesome, awesome. Awesome.
Awesome. So let's, let's justtalk, let's just jump into it.
Let's let's talk about themarriage ministry. And you all
can weave in your story. Anytimeyou feel like it's it's
relevant. You know, Dallas hasbeen married a long time to how
long you've been married. 39years. 39 years, just 30 for me,

(16:38):
just the states been marriedwhile you've been married back
here at 22. He's He's a novice,but he has his triplets. So he's
on his path to sainthood.

That makes it like exponential years or
something. dog years, right.

Tim Stout (16:56):
So now you take him out of surgery. So he's been
married 66 years. So we we'vegot this marriage ministry that
you guys were working on whenCOVID hit and just like
everything else that happenswith COVID. Things get stopped
and co chat start start over.
And I know you, Dallas, and I'veactually been talking to you
about it as well. But go aheadand tell us what is the marriage

(17:17):
ministry.

It's an evolving thing right now, but to
how it got started. I fatherLynn, I went to him, I guess it
would have been the fall of2019. And I said, Father, you
know, I feel like something ismissing. Eric and I went through
this incredible experience withanother church group, and not
from St. John's from a differentchurch. In fact, part of the

(17:44):
reason we're here at launch thepublic house is because Matt
nationally none the owners andproprietors here were the people
that got us involved in thatgroup. And it was an incredible
experience for us to go to thiscouples camp. And then we
started a small group withmultiple couples that would get
together once a week and talkabout some spirituality things,
as well as things that you'redealing with as married couples,

(18:05):
and how to kind of build on thatand how God can be a part of
that. And how to increase yourfaith and work together as
couples and we just loved it andreally got close to those
couples and thought, why do wenot have something like this and
St. John's, I started doingresearch couldn't find anything
Catholic anywhere. Really, thatwas kind of similar to what we
were looking for. So I met withfatherland. He's like, yes, we

(18:27):
need this. Because when peoplecome to me, it's too late. And
he said, Here's that you saidyes. He said, we need to do
this. Yes.

Tim Stout (18:37):
As long as you don't.
Yeah, you tell us no all thetime. But what you say yes. When
you don't have to do anything?
No. It has to be grounded.
grounded. So he said Yes, he didwas it and you made it sound
like it was a very emphatic, hewas

emphatic. It was very important. He honestly
right then in there, he came upwith other couples because I
said I can't do this by myself.
I'm helping. I'm happy to kindof get it started. Eric is very
supportive. I think, Well, youknow, we can initiate this but
we need help. And I think it'dbe better to have a variety of
ages and, you know, somemultiple different types of
personalities. And he's like,Okay, here we go. Todd and Karen
Edwards. they're new to theparents. They want to get

(19:12):
involved. They're right here.
Hey, Todd, and Karen. Thanks.
And he said they want to beinvolved. get them involved. How
about you know, here's heroinand dad solid couple older they
have some experience. Nick andRebecca can't say their last
name. schmell love.

Unknown (19:27):
That's close enough.

Okay. Great.
Younger couple. No Kid.
Absolutely.

Unknown (19:31):
Got

Jessica and Matt McQuaid who just had a baby
today. Congratulations. Again,man. Right, yeah, another third
girl, great couple, but as theirfamily that's from here, so they
have a lot of connections. Butagain, they're a little younger
than us. We had almost four orfive different generations or
not generations, but decade'sworth of couples with a wide
variety of experiences. AndFather literally came up with

(19:53):
those and so I think it was HolySpirit working through him
there. Then Then all of themsaid yes, let's we would love To
meet we had a meeting lastJanuary 2020. Everyone was
excited. We had a potluck, openit up to the parish did a survey
to see if there was still aninterest level. People were
excited. People wanted to beinvolved. They wanted to be
engaged. We had about 20different couples come to the

(20:16):
first potluck. And I think itwas a great time. So and from
that we did more surveys andthen had a second meeting
planned here at slaughter thepub. But that was the day things
got shut down

Unknown (20:28):
the day

Tim Stout (20:28):
sports dad, was it that day? Yes, it was. I was. I
was in Vegas that day. It was itwas bad. People in the sports
book were like, looking for thetops of buildings or something
it was, it was really, reallybad. So just I almost want to
key in on something. You know,you said Father said something
that said when people come toyou it's too late. Yes. And it

(20:49):
happens all the time. I mean,Catholics aren't the divorce
rate for Catholics is not anyless than the average anywhere

else. People may the experience kind of said,
you know, they only want prieststo do a like a magical potion.
yabba dabba Doo and all sudden,everything walk away. And by the
time you know, we sit down, thenyou know I have to have it come
to Jesus talk. already broken.
toe. That's why. And Barbara andEric brought this idea up as a

(21:18):
perfect that we, I want to makesure we become a preventive you
know, bear is supposed to befun, right? It is sad. Every
time I preached, there was awedding, I celebrate. And I
preach about it. You know, thereare more jobs, have fun at
marriage, and actually celebratehow beautiful it is, you know,

(21:42):
tragic. I say Who the hell wantto get married. You know, it's a
beautiful things and, but nobodytalks about it. Nobody
cultivated you know, as priests,you know, we all retreat. We our
support group, we do once aweek, once a month, everything

(22:03):
we take to make sure we are onfire, we love what we do.
Nothing about marriage is themost beautiful. It's one of the
greatest sacrament in the churchto be exact. And it was sad. So
when YouTube came in, and it's aperfect sucker. And that's how
it came about. And you guyswitnessed the first meeting was

(22:27):
powerful. It was love.

He didn't say a few times, but he tells us
behind a couple of songs.

Right, you know, with with Todd, and Karen,
you know, all of that is sopowerful. And we have to share
that. You know what I was in PIin Danville, I start a man
support group, that how to be adad how to be a good father. So
I got all the young guy takingthe older guy for mentor worked

(23:03):
out great. And now we haveopportunity to create the entire
relationship man and woman inthat way. And it is that said,
I'm telling you it's a good

Tim Stout (23:14):
it's, it's interesting, because obviously,
we haven't had a marriageministry at St. Francis of john,
there is a ministry at the dasdiocese and level, more family
life than marriage, per se. Butthere's a lot of marriage prep
and stuff down. And I've been apart of that. And so when when
you guys were talking about theywere like, hey, yeah, we get we
see all these couples coming in.
We've not yet told one couplenot to get married or just

(23:38):
doesn't have it doesn't doesn'thappen anywhere. Right?
Everybody's compatible when theycome see us. But they take the
160 question survey, and you cantell when they sit in the same
room and fill out the questionstogether. Right. You

Unknown (23:52):
can see when they're like 99%

Tim Stout (23:55):
Yeah. Oh, wow, you guys are really compatible.
Yeah. But you know, marriage isso much more than that. And I
think I think focus does dothat's the name of the program
focus. I think it does do a goodjob of cultivating questions
that that engaged coupleshaven't asked each other haven't
talked about, you know, and theycan be some simple things like

(24:19):
that's how much money you wantto spend on pets. Right? You
know, people don't really thinkabout that a whole lot when
they're getting married or whenthey're engaged. But that's a
problem. Like, if Eric wants tospend $1,000 on his honey dog
because that's, you know, it'shis hunting dog. I should use
Dallas in this example, becausehe does have dogs, right? your
pets. Do you all agree on howmuch money you should spend to

(24:40):
save the life of a pet?

We have a set budget but we've had the
discussion. Yes.

I heard I've seen that on a sitcom. One of the I
think it was last man standing Idon't know if you've ever seen
the the biggest argument andmarried couples live is how much
money to spend. To save a petyou know, the man's looked up
total is always lower.

harbor is very practical in that respect.

It depends on which dog.

You keep trying to kill one.

Unknown (25:10):
Well wishes

I got to laugh What are you I

live in a beagle.
The Beagle adopted us when wewere still in Oldham County. But
he's too smart for his own good.
He's better now. He's old andlazy with

Tim Stout (25:25):
Oldham County. That's interesting. That's where
Kelly's from we Kelly, Kelly,and I lived there for a while.
So what part of the story? Yeah,well, we'll circle back on that.
But which dog does Barbara wantto kill? The Beagle?

I don't want to kill the dog. I wouldn't be sad
if you ran away.

We do a user of that.

Tim Stout (25:46):
Everybody has one of those pets. Right? We have a dog
that knows we farm out to ouryoungest son in law because he
takes such great care of it. Butyeah, and so when the doorbell
rings, or there's a dog orsomething on TV, or in peace and
quiet, it's really

ugly. That's exactly the

issue isn't cameras. But you know crazy
about them.

Tim Stout (26:05):
young married couples don't talk about those types of
things. They don't talk aboutWhite House, they don't talk
about money. what's what's yourbiggest thing you think they
don't talk about when you whenyou're dealing with out?

I mean, just a whole whole lot of questions
like that. Who's going to who'sgoing to not just the money, but
who's going to control who'sgoing to pay the bills. But in
that focus thing we do? All themquestions are in there, you
know,

Tim Stout (26:25):
but they're all in there. And they generally
somewhat agree. What we try todo is spur conversation, right?
And so we just want to make surethat they're talking about we
know that nobody when they whenyou send us a couple we know
they're not they're going to getmarried, right? It is not not
good. Has it ever happened?
You've seen that? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we haven't seen it happen.
But here hasn't happened here.

No, have it in Danville. That was a couple came
in to bid me and I interviewboth of them and as you know,
because I can't stop them forget married. Right. Right. But I
you know, my very frankstraightforward, I say I made a
bet with you. What would youvote in six months. I was wrong.

(27:11):
Three months. And so it kind ofdragging you that the kind of
thing for me why this program isso important that we somehow
couples when they get married,and they they become a kind of a
social media public, you know,at the wedding make very

(27:33):
beautiful and all that. Andafter the wedding is done, they
shove into cocoon to themselvesnearly said they have no support
system. You know, the thing doyou be surprised you guy go
through with your wife just likethey will go through their wife
and you to go to a same thing.
But nobody share about that. Youknow, it's almost your own your
own. It kind of for me from thechurch point of view is so

(27:56):
contradict to the kind of liveof communion live husband wife
ought to live

Tim Stout (28:03):
on social media.
Definitely. Yeah, it's reverted.
It creates an image of marriage.
It's not accurate. Yeah, exceptfor Dallas, Dallas and Sherry,
they never argue, right? Wewe've heard this a million

I deal with with with, you know, counseling
to couples that they alsolonely. You know, they have a
partner. But you have to live solonely. Or each other it tragic.
So hopefully this program is notyou know, like I say I want to
push that it's not about hightheology or anything like that,

(28:36):
about practicality. How to bethere for one another? How to
support each other how to takeeach other out for a date. God,
somehow couple forgot aboutthat.

Honey, if you're listening, we're gonna fight
when we get home just to makehim happy. But one of the one of
the questions I

Tim Stout (28:58):
may not be sure.

Every engaged couple the first question when
the report comes back to me,I'll scroll up and try to find
and always make sure I bringthis up and make it a point. The
question is worded somethinglike, I hope after we're
married, there's something aboutmy spouse out I want to change
you know, whatever it is, andand quite a few of them you

(29:23):
believe will say yes. And now Imake it a point to tell him. No.
When you say I do, however yourspouse is, that's what you're
getting. At the Abdu you betterbe hoping that you can put up
with that, whatever. Whatever itis, you want to change, because

(29:45):
they're not changing, you know,and you shouldn't if you you
know if you don't if you want itto change so bad then you say
No, I don't. Not I do. I alwaysmake sure I go with it. But

that is the heart of what Christian love is
right. Seek it the good As anauthor, you know, Barbara say I
love Eric, we take everythingabout him good and bad, good and
bad. You know, that's what he isthat we want to change, or
Barbara, Barbara, or vice versa.

Tim Stout (30:17):
It's funny because a good friend of mine got
divorced. And he was goingthrough the divorce, he came up
to me and he said, hey, let's goout for beers. We went out for a
beer wasn't here, went out for abeer. And he said, you know, we
just want our lives. I just wantour lives to be like you and
Kelly. You know, you guys neverfight. And he described my

(30:39):
marriage to like, a man Oh, man.
That's that. And I'm not sayingthat everybody fights in our
marriage. But there aredisagreements, and you have to
figure out how to how to problemsolve, and, and you also have to
know that that marriage isperfect. And I think that's
probably one of the goals hereis that you want people to
experience or be able to relateto people that that have gone
through some some issues,whether they're younger or

(30:59):
older, whatever.

Unknown (31:01):
Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that's what we've tried to, we've had a lot
of discussions about how tocreate the groups where we're
gonna look at doing small groupsand mixing in larger events, but
we're trying to be strategicabout that to give you an
fatherly mentioned, and he didthe same thing with with trying
to help us form the LeadershipCommittee call it you know,
people with multiplegenerations, different life
experiences that you can rely oneach other. So it is like father

(31:26):
Lindsay had very much. That'snot a study about theology, or
scripture readings, that we'regonna try to incorporate some of
that it's about building acommunity building
relationships, so that we canhelp each other in times of
need. I mean, we all go throughdifferent things. Like you said,
nobody's got a perfect marriage.
And then Brad tried to sit uphere as leaders of the committee
trying to say, Hey, be like us,

oh, we're certainly not

sure all of our faults, share our stories and
help everybody learn and benefitfrom that experience. So we're
not alone to your point.

Tim Stout (31:56):
But in in a roundabout sort of way. I'd
argue that you are trying to saybe like us, and what I mean by
that is, you know, we knowpeople have issues, right? We
know you have disagreements, itmight be how you raise your
kids, it might be aboutfinancial issues. It might be
you know what mass you go to onSundays, right? I mean, it
there's can be a lot of issues,but it's how to work through
those issues, and how to processthose issues and not give up?

(32:19):
Well, I mean, we're in a societytoday, that just wants to give
up on everything. Exactly.
Instant gratification, right?
You see the billboard, I thinkthere's one of actually over
here on Broadway, divorce $99.
Man, that's pretty easy. Yeah,pretty, pretty cheap. And you
know, that's what people in thisculture are trying to and and
even there's, there's now apropensity for people to say

(32:41):
they don't even want to getmarried at all, to your point,
what you were taught about withmarriage, and what a beautiful
thing it is. And I think that'swhat we need, that we're called
to be as witnesses to whatChristian Christian marriages is
all about?

Absolutely. I think that's a huge thing that
can not only I mean, we talkedabout it in your the lumen
gentium, quote, where thefamily, the church of the family
is the home church, the domesticchurch, and that starts with the
married couple. So who are we todeny that God is calling us if
marriage is a vocation, and thatsacramental marriage, we are
able to bring forth? God, youknow, it is a beautiful thing in

(33:19):
that he's in the midst of this.
And then trinity of us is God'sat the pinnacle. And when we can
rely on him and rely on eachother, it allows for beautiful
growth and a way to parent a wayto be a good friend a way to be
good to the community, and howcan we share that? And so that's
kind of what we felt like weexperienced in that small group.
I don't know if you want toshare some of the things you
felt like we got out of

Tim Stout (33:39):
it. This was at the small group at the other church,
correct?

Unknown (33:42):
Yeah.

First, can you tell who's getting your master's
in theology?

Tim Stout (33:46):
I was gonna say there. Barbara threw out some
pretty don't say hi, theology.
Pretty on the scale. It wasabove five.

See, I don't know mannequin training. That's
right. Okay, do minigun train.

Unknown (34:00):
I'll keep it down.
Smell by up.

Bring it back down to your base.

Tim Stout (34:10):
You know, the question was

talking back to our

Unknown (34:15):
berries are now

talking back to our small group with Matt
nationally,

Unknown (34:20):
yes.

But to us, the biggest benefit was one that it
was an intimate group. Becauseyou've got it, you got to build
a comfort level with otherpeople before you're going to be
willing to be open about perhapsthe dark side of your marriage
or the things you're goingthrough, right, you're not going
to share that in a group of 50people most likely, unless
you're very, very open person,and most of us aren't going to
be like that about ourrelationship. So it's developed,

(34:43):
developing into intimacy, beingChrist focused as part of that,
and really kind of building thisrelationship so you can bury
your soul. So the soul of yourmarriage a little bit that way
you because you can't reallyhelp build each other up unless
you show vulnerability. So it'sto us it's really about about
trying to build that here.

Tim Stout (35:03):
And I think that's, that's that's part of it right
you have to have your marriagehas to be based on love, first
of all, but when you're in asmall group, you bring love,
obviously. But in that setting,too, you also bring your faith,
right? You share certain moralsand ethics. Hopefully, when
you're meeting in a ChristianChristian group, this was a

(35:25):
Christian nondenominationalChristian. Yep. So, you know,
that's one of the things youknow, that I, that I see with
with younger people today. Icouldn't be more specific, but I
won't be just because they mightbe listening. But what I see
with young people today is that,that they don't have that

(35:46):
foundation of Christ and whatthat means not just in, in your
life, like what's the purpose oflife, but also in, in in
marriage, and not trying to gethalf theology or anything, but
it's something that when youhave a belief, or both of people
believe in Christ, then whenthere's difficulties, you can go

(36:08):
back to that love thatfoundation. And call on that to
help you go through cyclesthrough the problems and that
intimacy happens. It doesn'tmean it's perfect all the time.
But it does happen inside themarriage. And when you've got
somebody outside, obviously,that was, that was something
that really triggered somethingfor you guys.

Yeah, we were inspired by it to be sure.

Tim Stout (36:27):
Inspired meaning and

inspired to try to replicate that here. And again,
we're not trying to copynecessarily what they're doing,
but to try to share thatexperience and build this
foundation. And to me, it's it'spart of building our community
as a franchise and john too,it's not, you know, marriage is
the focus. But I think one thingunique about our church and our
school is that the schoolconnects a lot of families and

(36:51):
people. But outside of that forfor couples, it's a bit hard to
get connected, I think with youknow, especially now obviously
with under normal circumstances,you go to Mass you go home,
maybe you get involved Knightsof Columbus, which is great for
men. Now, there's the the doublenickel club, but again, it's for
couples in time care to perfectexample we were when we came in,

(37:12):
you move in you don't knowanybody. So it's hopefully,
again, not just building andsupporting marriages, but
helping you build and supportour community so that we we
connect new people and theyintroduce make introductions.
Just keep building thatfoundation.

But that that's the piece, Eric is oftentimes we
say, Okay, we have married, wehave a single we have a church,
we have non church. But thefundamental ground in the church
life is marriage. Becausemarriage bring communion. Good,
right? We bring us together.
Okay, if if your family,husband, wife, so happy with

(37:50):
each other, naturally, thechurch be happy. You know, if
Todd and Karen be happy with oneanother, the moment they come to
church, you could not help it bebut infecting those who want to
be that way. Yeah. We call itthe discipleship of live
witness. You see, it kind ofbuilt together. You know, if I'm

(38:12):
a priest, I hate it. And suckyand shitty forget. People will
say, I don't want to go tochurch. You don't say if you go
to church, you sit next to acouple they bickering each
other? You said The hell with itand move on. You're not going to
talk to him. Right. But theother day I was somebody
referred to me there was acouple being here probably three
years now. And they could notfind way to connect. And they

(38:36):
almost want to move on in our inour corner church. That, isn't
it? So therefore, they knowthis. This ministry I think is
very important, is a conduitthat that draws people closer.
And then it just, that's what wemeant to be that what crisis

(38:57):
right? beyond anything, eternallife, resurrection, all of that
good stuff it pointing to beingwith each other. That's it.

Yeah. We want this to be a solution for people like
that to come into the parish, wehave spoken with a man right?

Tim Stout (39:16):
Yes. And we just have a saying here, one of the
consultants that we arebelonging leads to believing,
you know, and so when you have asense that you belong to
something, whether that's, youknow, school, the school for us,
for our parish is a big part ofthat, right? parents get hooked,
or they get their kids involved.
And there's a lot of goodfamilies in there, and that's

(39:38):
part of it, but then they go offto high school and then they're
like, okay, now, yeah, it's asmaller window. So you know it.
I think this is a good way tobridge and bridge that gap for
sure. So that's a great idea.

I'm feeling some pressure, more pressure.

Tim Stout (39:55):
Pressure. If it fails, it's your

God is in control.

That's important. Right? Well, you
know, in the end, God is incontrol. Right? We, we make sure
a Saint Francis say make sureand become a good instrument of
it.

Tim Stout (40:09):
Yeah, absolutely,

hopefully conduit for that good news.

Tim Stout (40:12):
It's just like a homily. Right. It's not our
humble he isn't. It's got it'sGod's homily. So they'll
complain to him. And if thisdoesn't work out, don't don't
blame Eric. Blame.

Unknown (40:24):
Don't blame neither.

Do y'all this just for married couples? Or
could have engaged couples cometo come to?

We have talked about that. And again, I think
it's important to note that thisis it as a newer organization or
group ministry. It's, it'sorganic, and it's it there will
be changes as we grow anddevelop and and how that works.
And that is something that we'vetalked about for sure. That
potentially some a couple who'sengaged who has a marriage date
on the calendar that perhapsthey could benefit from, that'd

(40:55):
be a great lead into them, maybecontinuing and building
relationships with other couplesin the church.

It was one of my my pet peeves. I need to
launch this to any young couplesthat go through prep, married
preparation with me, one of myexpectation. Sure you have a
mentoring couple?

Well, that's absolutely something we could
be. That could be part ofExactly, yeah. So

therefore, you know, I say, here's the list of
great couples, I want you toknow them and select them with
mentoring. I can easily benefitfor me to use by the Ministry to
promote that.

Tim Stout (41:32):
How many of those great couples do we have? Oh,

we got plenty.
The problem we don't share. Wedon't talk about it. You know? I
did I'm sure. Jason has a greatcouple. But we never tap into
them. Great couple is not youknow, like you got you guys been
husband. We've been through alot. Oh, yeah. To hang. Oh,
yeah.

Tim Stout (41:54):
Well, not Dallas.

Oh, we have a flowers over there. as well. So
hey, now,

Tim Stout (42:00):
I mean, there's I mean, we I kid Dallas, because
just that but you know, you'vebeen through a lot. Heck we he's
kind of my my mentor couple,right, we talked to we have we
have a support search, we talkto each other about things. And
a couple, every couple needsthat ability. And the ability to
me to do that inside your faith,just because of the shared

(42:21):
values because you can go get Imean, it's the first thing like
when somebody says, Hey, I wantto go get counseling, first
thing I do is tell them callCatholic Charities because I
don't want to go to talk tosomebody just, you know, some
secular random person, becausethey're not going to get the
teachings of their faith,they're going to get steered in
a direction that the secularworld wants them to go. And a
lot of times that's, that's thequick app, like we talked about

(42:43):
earlier.

Yeah. For me, this this ministry have a great
potential, like Barbara say, isa great organic as she grow into
the character of what she meantto be. And for me, personally,
our parents, we have a lot ofyoung couple, so many young,
that are so busy trying to raisekid, at the end up forget about

(43:07):
lationship Oh, that's dangerous.
Yeah, I

was gonna say that earlier when somebody says about
going on dates, timber, Dallas,but we've talked about that,
when we have a hard time with anarc has already been that young
anymore. But unless youspecifically try to make that a
goal or a focus of yourrelationship, and just you get
to a point in life, when you'vegot young kids, it just doesn't
happen. And it's, you know, yourrelationship suffers because of
it.

Yeah, you forget about each other focus on
the kids and their life becomesthe priority. But honestly, part
of that small group situationfor us was it made us have a
date night. So we would go outto dinner beforehand and have
dates to ourselves and then goto the group time away from our
kids. So it did it, which was wealmost needed that because it's

(43:49):
otherwise you just we tend to

just almost Yeah,

yeah, we were like, oh, there's this activity
and this activity in Fridaynight. We're exhausted. But it's
so important. And you got

Tim Stout (43:59):
as parents, we're training our kids. Yeah, how to
be married. You know, we mightnot even think of that. But you
know, they're watching they'rewatching they want to and you
know, Dad treat Mom, how doesmom tree Dad I mean, it even
when when folks do get to thepoint where they're divorced. To
me, that's the most importantpoint that's some of the things
I shared with some of my friendswho have gone through divorce is

(44:21):
that, you know, your, your sonsand daughters are going to learn
how to treat their spouse, theirfuture spouse based on how you
treat their mother or theirfather, they're watching you.
And if you're doing that from afaith based perspective, you'll
you'll plant the seed hopefullythat will mature and grow and

(44:42):
prepare them for marriage downthe road. But it's just as
important no matter where youare in your marriage, even if
it's if we're talking about itends in divorce. It's still
important to be faith based andportray that that out

but that there is a piece I want to throw it
out. When I work with I wasaddressing The ongoing formation
for clergy for priests notDeacon, that they need a lot of
help. But that's beside thepoint. Right?

Tim Stout (45:06):
You showed up for a meeting.

So I'm done with that. But there was a
program we call it father Ronnod from lovo developed program
called the intentionalperpetuate, we have to be
intentional with that there wasa lady for godhood the others
who wrote a beautiful bookcalled The intention of
discipleship. Bear sampling, youhave to have an intentional good

(45:30):
if I truly love you, I have tointentionally love you. In other
words, everything I doeverything I commit to had to
have an intentional it's not arandom act of sporadically You
know, it disaster. So, you know,for is to last for you to
joyful, we had to beintentional. That's why with

(45:52):
this program, I like it when yousay, Oh, yeah, now we have a
date night. that's intentional.
You know, for me, here's mysecret how I'm able to pray
through the day by iPhone is mybest friend. I program onto it
when she say Ding, ding, I'mgonna pray, stop and pray. Five
minutes. No biggie. No, we haveto have intentional elves. This

(46:15):
war we're gonna eat by and it'salready. And so keep on keep on

everything in life. And that's everything in
life.

Tim Stout (46:26):
So let's, let's talk a little bit real quick about
formation of this marriageministry. Small Group, big
group, what's what's yourthoughts? What how's it gonna
work? Well,

this survey showed that most people were
interested in small group on amonthly basis, and potentially
larger groups on a quarterlybasis. So the team, the
committee has kind of met anddecided we're gonna move forward
with small groups and puttingthose together, and we have a
list of people who areinterested back in 2020, that
we're going to reach out to,that may not have been in touch

(46:55):
with us since then we have a newlist of people who took the
survey, because we read sent outthe survey, since the things
have changed a lot. And andtaking those responses. And Nick
and Rebecca are graded on thatcomputer stuff and kind of made
graphs for us, it was great. Sowe could see really what people
are interested in. So we'removing forward with creating
small groups, we have someleaders, people who are
interested in being small groupleaders that were in the process

(47:16):
of training. So last, aboutabout a month ago, Tim was able
to come into one of ourcommittee meetings, which was
kind of a practice run of what asmall group will look like. And
then this weekend, we have someof our potential leaders coming
to also observe and take part inwhat a small group will look
like. So Tim, I'd love to hearkind of, you know, what, what
did you experience from thatsmall group?

Tim Stout (47:38):
No, I mean, I think I think the structure of that is
is good. I mean, your icebreakerwas, was really good. Oh, there
we go. Your icebreaker, I thinkit was important. And I think
that's one of the things whensmall groups I'm always reminded
of, of Dallas and as previousspiritual Decker father, Bob, he
actually stopped when he heardsmall group he used to run it
had, because there's a lot ofpeople that are afraid of that

(48:00):
they'd rather be in a big groupand not have to contribute. But
in this case, you want people tocontribute. They have to feel
comfortable with that. Andthat's an important part of it.
Right? That that you talkedabout that intimacy, that
relationship? And that's notsomething you just form? Right
from the beginning, right. It'sgonna take some time to do that.
But I feel very comfortable.
Kelly, you know, I'll speak forKelly, because I don't think she

(48:20):
could get her string doortonight. So I'll speak for
she'll watch it later. Would yousay Peters? Yeah, she's, you
know, I think she feltcomfortable, which is, which is
important for me, you know,because she says, I'm the
extrovert. She's an introvert.
So, you know, and that happensin a marriage, right? You know,
one person is either moreoutgoing versus not, etc. But

(48:41):
they both have to feelcomfortable, and they have to
develop a relationship. And thattakes that takes some time. But
I think the focus on on prayer,a big part of it has to be
prayer. I know, when Dallas andI first talked about this, you
know, in we met for breakfast,one morning, where we talked
about that, you know, Dallassaid, Hey, we are going to, you

(49:03):
know, we do want to talk aboutwhat the teachings of the church
are right? It's gonna be basedon the teachings of the church,
which is important, right,Catholic teaching is an
important part of any ministrythat's going on in this church.
So I'm excited about it. I thinkit's to me COVID has caused a
lot of issues with families,adults trying to interact with

(49:25):
each other, right. We've beenbasically told to stay home
isolate, even though we're outhere, out here to bar drinking,
drinking beer. But that's,that's different right then than
it has been and I think a lot ofrelationships, kids have
relationships. You might seepeople at a sporting, you know,
another couple at a sportingevent, but that's different.
That's not what we're talkingabout. Here. We're talking about
getting people engaged to talkabout what what being a parent

(49:49):
is about what being a spouse isabout. So, I like I like the
structure, I think it'spositive.

So we're gonna, we're gonna follow that and kind
of definitely touch on that.
Like teachings, what is thesacramental marriage? And what
does that mean? But break itdown in a more realistic way
and, you know, keeping it groundlevel that, hey, this is what a
sacramental marriage means.
Maybe define that, but but howdoes that work in your life?
Right? What is what do you dofor each other? How

do we we don't want to get too formal either
the point of intimacy thatpeople aren't going to you're
not going to feel comfortableand open up. And if it's a very
formal structured meeting everyevery month, I think it's gonna
be harder to accomplish that.

Tim Stout (50:31):
It'd be like the Knights of Columbus. Are you a
knight? You're not a knight oryou know, you're never on the
list. You're not a nice guywho's

in charge right now.

Tim Stout (50:45):
Okay, I have a chart your chart? We want to wait to
June 1 to July 1. That's right.
No,

I've been scheduled like three times they
all got canceled. So

Tim Stout (50:53):
what's on my last one was COVID spalter. Yeah, you go
from first to Third Reich, boom,like that. So did you know that
we changed all those?

I know, I'm the last one to be informed.

Tim Stout (51:03):
He doesn't know.

So that's what the deacons told me. Actually,
when I approached them about themanagement. They said, well,
they he doesn't tell usanything.

He's on his phone.
Oh, he's just like a teenagerover there.

Oh, it's the only information communicate by
what I need them.

Unknown (51:19):
Oh, okay. I don't want you to know.

He needs me.

Tim Stout (51:27):
Dallas up playing golf Can you do that does that
only happens every once in awhile. Everyone's at that

hotel on the course. Now, the next time I
meet, you're coming up with ameeting and you want to promote
it we need, we really need oneof you to come up or mass on
that little fortune we havethere and promote it. Because
when we promote it, it justbasically gets read. Okay. And
now admit we don't do a verygood job. We need y'all to

(51:55):
really push it really well.

That was last year didn't mean right before.

Tim Stout (52:00):
I do remember the dashboards and whatnot. And I
actually remember Kelly actuallyremember that. So I think that's
something I want to be a partof. So no, I mean, it does. You
know, they see us all the time.
So

yeah, wanna kill the flies? First, please.

Unknown (52:13):
Yeah, we did. We

did see that on TV. Actually, they were
swarming. We could we could seeit. But we I will say that
because of COVID. Still, rightnow, most of the people
indicated on surveys that mostwere interested in person, small
group, but not necessarily alarge group yet. So to start
with small groups, we can stillpromote the ministry and let
them know what's happening andto reach out, but here's the
what, who you contact, we get apart of a small group, but those

(52:37):
will probably start within thenext month or so. But as far as
a larger group event, we talkedabout doing a refocus kind of
thing with the deacons. Butagain, that might be a few
months out still.

Tim Stout (52:49):
Are you certified and rereading, refocus by paper,

maybe in one, I

Tim Stout (52:53):
don't know that.
Maybe we could have a smallgroup here at slot Cha, right?
slash cha. Cha. The pub justcalled the pub that way, you
can't screw up thepronunciation. It's the pub.
Small grew larger. You see thatpavilion I buy? Yeah, that'll
hold a lot of people. And,Steven, I talked about this
before next time we do a liveshow. We're going out there
because they don't have anelevator here. And there's a lot

(53:15):
of boxes and stuff up there. Butno, I mean, it's it's getting a
small group in an environmentthat works. Right. And sometimes
that might be at the pub.
Sometimes it might be atsomebody's house. Right. Right.

Right. And the idea I think was kind of rotate
houses, but each group candesign that themselves. So you
know, we're we want to empowerthe groups to kind of give them
a guideline of things to say andfollow and read through and pray
together. But also empower themto make their decisions. You
know, when you want to meetwhere you want to meet how that
operates. Some groups may bebabysitting situations, some may
not.

I thought you meant babysit the people in the
group.

Unknown (53:51):
But no, so yeah,

Tim Stout (53:53):
there's some people I saw the signup list. There are
some people on the list thatthey saw babysitting. What put
them

in your group?

Tim Stout (54:00):
Oh, thanks. Thanks.

You have more authority as a deacon? No, I

Tim Stout (54:04):
have no authority as a deacon. I just do what He
tells me to do. Right. I knowhow that works. You tell us what
to do. And we go to right.

And we never dispute it. Right. That's right.
We never argue

Tim Stout (54:14):
publicly. publicly, we agree 100% publicly.

Unknown (54:19):
Oh, good.

Tim Stout (54:21):
We have a good relationship for sure. So hey,
we want to talk to this. We willthank Matt nationally for
letting us come up here to theupper room. We didn't mention
that at the beginning. You blessthis room. I think

this upper room is unique. It's if you I don't
know y'all know that. Prior toCatholic establishment here.
They always a priest, atraveling priest stay here. And
he does he did mass in spaceright here.

Tim Stout (54:47):
The upper room.

Very first mass in Scott

County, Scott Kennedy is right here. So we
have a privilege to came herewhen this place opened up and we
have a blast at this place.

Tim Stout (55:00):
Extra blessings in the interesting that they
they're because they're nondenominational Christian, right
in the midst of Catholic prieststo come bless the right hey,
what's that mean? Was there wasthere? Was there something here?
Was there something going on inhis room that they want to get
out in the morning? So batonAshley obviously COVID hit them

(55:20):
pretty hard, right? You know,they, like most small businesses
and restaurant businesses, theystruggled bars, same thing. So
support the pub, it's a greatplace, great atmosphere to get,
you know, 123 or five rooms plusthe outside the new pavilion
come out and support it. supportthem, because they support us.
We've had other things up hereyou had a had a night out here

(55:44):
with a was a Presbyterian orAnglican was that y'all had
that.

Unknown (55:49):
Oh, theology and

the theology and drink.

Tim Stout (55:52):
Yeah. doctrine and drinks. Maybe that's out on the
patio out a patio. I was good.
What was that guy's name? Idon't remember the best baby

raspberry hotpress.

Tim Stout (56:02):
What is he when Faith is the best material?

Watch out for this Presbyterians dangerous.

Tim Stout (56:08):
So we're gonna have to have you back because I want
to hear the conversion story.
Ah, yeah. So bid real quick. Howlong were you married before?
The event in

13 years? 13.
Yeah. But he,

he went to math backwards math to get there.

Well as faster this time. He's usually better
as daughter's

drunk.

But we were he went to mass with me when we
were dating. So all through whenwe were dating, and then once we
were married and had kids, he wewere

about 15 years before I

Tim Stout (56:38):
pull the trigger. 15 years. Wow. So

slow conversion.

That's not the record. I was married about 28
years. By way of converting

Tim Stout (56:51):
28 years,

some people are more stubborn than others.

Tim Stout (56:55):
But that happens a lot. Right? It does have a lot.
There's a lot of families inthis parish that that have had
that happen. Right that have hada spouse that's not Catholic
goes to mass all the time.

Yeah. But nobody asked them.

There's still a number of couple couples that
are interested in then going tobe part of this group where one
of them is not Catholic. Yeah,they're still going to mass
every week. I know.

I told them already. I say I will not leave
displacement. Do you all becomeCatholic?

Tim Stout (57:19):
And then we need to make sure everybody I think

the two more couples will go on.

Tim Stout (57:23):
If they're not married in the church. We need
to get married in the church toThat's right. So maybe we can
have like a mega

we can get married in the church at least so

Unknown (57:31):
we're legit, but

we are legit.
Yeah, I can't be pretty stoked.
I know. So if she'd been pushyabout it, it might have been 20
years. Was you baptized

when you got married?

Unknown (57:41):
Yeah, so you didn't so you didn't have to give up this?
There you go. There you go.

Question.

Because my wife wasn't baptized. So we didn't.
We had a we got married in thechurch. It was valid, but it was
in Sacramento, okay. He'll shewas baptized.

Tim Stout (57:57):
Then what happened?

became Sacramento The moment she was baptized,

Tim Stout (58:00):
didn't have to do anything else. Right. So there's
a whole show on that rightthere. Right? Because there's a
lot of people like that in ourchurch. Right? That that think
they're married in the church.
That may not be

Oh, believe me, when I send a kid to baptism, I
say, how come you and I've beenmarried the church? asked.

Tim Stout (58:18):
There's, there's specific rules, or Catholic.
There's lots of rules, right?
That's the what sets us apartfrom everybody else. So So yeah,
so we'll have you back. We'lllearn a little bit more about
the conversion store. Whobaptized or sorry, who confirmed
you?

Who confirmed me?
Yeah. Me.

Tim Stout (58:35):
You'd like the oil a shot. Did he? Did he have a
candle while you were doing it?

Unknown (58:42):
I did not catch on fire.

Tim Stout (58:44):
Yeah. That did happen. No. I

mean, we were probably there. Yes.

Tim Stout (58:49):
That happened at Easter Vigil this this past
Easter Vigil a little. Andthankfully, it was not four
hours. Oh, there was a catch onfire. They cut their hair on
fire. Yeah, there was there wasfireworks

and buyers few lady in the fire.

Tim Stout (59:03):
It was it was it was smell. I

mean, the whole church smelled singed hair.

Unknown (59:09):
It's an awful smell.

Tim Stout (59:11):
So right before confirmation event, I leaned
over and I said

Unknown (59:17):
blow out the candles.

Tim Stout (59:21):
So can you imagine that? Not good. Not good. So
we'll have you back. We'll talkabout that. We'll have it we'll
have you back to we'll talkabout how it's going. Right?
Yeah, great.

And if anyone's interested, please do reach out.
I mean, there's reach out toanyone on Facebook here. Put a
comment in the post if you wantto. Or you can contact Eric or I
or anyone on the team. We'll getthat information out because
we'd love to have more peopleengaged or involved. If you
haven't heard about the marriageministry yet. Or if you have
specific questions or concerns,please let us know. We'll have
someone reach out for sure andget you involved. Absolutely.

(59:52):
And we want as many

Tim Stout (59:53):
people's Yeah, well, for sure. Can't be too many
people. So

one of the things I know a question that
someone had Run up, as you knowwhat if I'm in a group and it
doesn't work out, or I don'tfeel comfortable, or, you know,
we're gonna go into this with noexpectations in that you can
come and join a group. And ifyou don't click or fit with that
group, it's okay. We're gonnamake it an easy transition,
right? It to be able to join adifferent group and transition

(01:00:18):
so that you don't feel stuck,you're never going to be
required. Again, it's veryorganic, and we're very much
it's an open and flexible kindof thing.

Tim Stout (01:00:25):
So if you don't like Ohio State fans,

Unknown (01:00:28):
don't be in our group that you're not allowed

Eric Conklin (01:00:32):
that would that would be a good learning
experience, or are you? Or

Dallas Kelley (01:00:36):
are you both Ohio State fan? Yes,

Barbara Conklin (01:00:38):
yeah, he's an actual grad. But I'm like four
generations of my family.

Were there so I'm one of the few in this area. I
like Kentucky better but youknow, I'm not one of those like,
Hey,

you just jumped in number one, the deacon rankings
that

I had a gentleman I worked with for years. Toyota
that we called him but guy hewent he never missed a he went
to Ohio State football game foryears. Never. And he was from
the I think it might have beenthe law very

Tim Stout (01:01:08):
well, yeah. Because they don't have a good football
program. So that would makesense not known as a basketball
school.

I state Oh, yeah.

Unknown (01:01:15):
Kentucky this year.

Tim Stout (01:01:18):
So was everybody else? I mean, is COVID having
come on?

Well, there's that.

Tim Stout (01:01:25):
Oh, you lost Oh. I lost you ready for a saint of
the day over there. Boss solo,we're gonna take a short break,
but you're gonna hear aboutsaying other day.

Unknown (01:01:36):
This is Franciscan media saint of the day for April
9. Today we celebrate St.
casilda. Some saints names aremore familiar to us than others.
But even the lives of obscureholy persons teach us something.
And so it is with sanka Silva,the daughter of a 10th century
Muslim leader in Toledo, Spain.

(01:01:58):
Though Muslim because Silvashowed special kindness to
Christian prisoners. When shebecame ill, because Hilda was
not convinced that any of thelocal Arab doctors could cure
her. So she made a pilgrimage tothe shrine of San Vincenzo in
northern Spain. Like so manyother people who made their way
there, many of them sufferingfrom hemorrhages. Because Silda

(01:02:20):
sought the healing waters of theshrine. were uncertain of the
nature of the ailment thatbrought her to the shrine, but
we do know that she left itrelieved of illness. In
response, facilita became aChristian and live the life of
solitude and pennants. Not farfrom the miraculous spring.
Through her quiet, simple life.
facilita served her creatorfirst in one faith, then, in

(01:02:43):
another, it said the castle tolive to be 100 years old, dying
around the year 1050. There'smore about the saints along with
inspiration and Catholicresources at our website, Saint
of the day.org. From Franciscanmedia, this has been st of the
day,

Tim Stout (01:03:03):
Saint casilda.
Haven't heard that name andaround in a while have yours,
Hunter. Yeah, back in the day,she lived to be 100 years old.
So hey, that's something forsomebody for sure. So any
questions? I know it was kind oflaggy. Y'all see that? We're
going in and out. So yeah, watchthe re play. The free play.
It'll be perfect. It'll betonight. If as long as Steve is

(01:03:28):
record, because I forgot to hitthe record button on my side. So
I hope you're recording overthere. Okay, because I'm not
weird trouble. So hey, thanksfor coming out.

Unknown (01:03:40):
Thanks for having

Fr. Linh Nguyen (01:03:42):
you here with us. It's good.

Tim Stout (01:03:43):
There's anybody getting questions out there? The
people that are here? Are y'alljealous?

We have a person going Master's in theology as
Ask away?

Well, they have a question.

Tim Stout (01:03:54):
Besides a shadow. So sign up people. That's what we
want, the more the better. Can'tbe too many. I thought you know,
one of the things we could addin there is like because the my
whole parish what we did, once aquarter, we just have
anniversary dinners. So like, itdidn't matter if he was a golden
anniversary like a 1020.
Whatever. If your anniversarywas in the previous three months
in that quarter, you got invitedto the to the anniversary

(01:04:15):
dinner. And the best part wasthe pastor cooked the meal.

Good idea.

Tim Stout (01:04:27):
There you go. You're getting heckled.

Oh, give me a good kitchen. I'll

Unknown (01:04:32):
cook for you. Oh, everyone here

that write it down below kitchen we are
building to build.

Tim Stout (01:04:37):
We're gonna build a kitchen. But I thought maybe
what we could do because I knowshe's a good cook. Maybe the
clergy could work with yourpastor to cook the meals. Wow,
this

Unknown (01:04:47):
is a good idea.

Yeah. Jerry, we'll talk when we get on.

Tim Stout (01:04:53):
Is like as I was telling Kelly that because as I
suggested that she said, Well,yeah, you'll say well, Sherry
Kelly's a great cool cook andshe'll help Dallas out and then
you're on your own. So, no, Ithink that's a good idea, again,
kind of, you know, celebrate apart of areas, right that
sometimes you know, when you'vebeen married as long as we have

(01:05:15):
another year, right? What do youwhat do you do on your last
anniversary?

I bought my wife a new Highlander. 39 year, it's
not going to get better for 40.
So don't expect it.

Tim Stout (01:05:29):
That's pretty good.
That mean, that's pretty good.
What would you do on your end?
virtualised anniversary? Gosh, I

don't even remember what well, this
probably watched a footballgame. Yeah.

Tim Stout (01:05:42):
But if we had if we had an anniversary dinner where
we were celebrating thoseanniversaries, it would, it
would leave a lasting memory andpeople would then say, hey, they
were unable to forward to it.
Right. It would be be animportant

part. And, and, and I gotta tell you what, when
you make that big of a purchase,you still have to check with
your spouse. I called her work.
I said, I met the dealership.
I'm gonna buy a Highlander. Isthat okay?

Tim Stout (01:06:07):
Sure. If it was for her, it was okay. Okay. There's
other ways to have a successfulmarriage. 2%. But that's pretty
good. Pretty good. So, Hey,thanks for coming. Thanks for
you all coming. Hey, next show.
We're gonna have a deaconanother Deacon on the deacon

(01:06:27):
show. His name is Deacon GaryRuta Miller. He was ordained
1009, class of 2016. And he'salso one of the owners in
Benedictus. Anybody ever heardof Benedict, just raise your
hand? They need help. Right?
They need our help. Because, youknow, like everybody else.
Amazon is winning the war. So wegot Gary on, we're gonna talk a

(01:06:51):
little bit about his faithstory. His calling is calling as
a deacon and also aboutBenedictus. So join us in two
weeks for that. If you got anyideas about show anything you
want us to talk about? This wasa great example. We had a
meeting one time and we thought,hey, this would be good. But on
the show, so great example.
Anything else going on in theparish in the community, any
people that you think have agood face story or have a

(01:07:12):
contribution to the communitythat you think people want to
hear about it? Let us know.
We'll get them on the show. Ithink this is Episode 33 How

about that?
33 4200

Tim Stout (01:07:32):
it's the same every time it's something just a
little bit different. You know,we're in December, right? So
hey, support our ministries goto SS f j.org ssfjssfj.org
support not just this ministry.
You told me I was gonna get somesome sponsorship. If I could get
back to twice a month.

Unknown (01:07:54):
I remember that. You have

Tim Stout (01:07:55):
a sponsorship. That was not Did anybody see that
show? He said it on a show. Ido.

Yep. What's my budget? no budget yet a budget
but I haven't

had as much when we get a church about you'll get
about There you go.

We will have a studio. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

Tim Stout (01:08:11):
33 episodes. Support us like us. hit the little bell.
Subscribe, all that good stuff.
Tell your friends. Tell us abouta show. Donate. Spread the word.
All that good stuff. How about ablessing? Oh,

great feasts.
of St. Joseph. We pray almostchase St. Joseph. By your yes to
the plan of God you will unitedto Jesus through Mary Hetrick of
all graces you will call by Godour Heavenly Father, that the
Holy Spirit to marriage with theever Virgin Mary Immaculate and
to the adopted fatherhood ofChrist the Son. Yes. Oh, St.

(01:08:51):
Joseph, terror of demons, patronof universal church and anchor
families that eat on our behalfand extend your protection to
our own domestic families. Thisbill all fears and confusion God
has from all evil one, just aJew guarded and protected the
Most Holy Family. We asked todefend our family here.

(01:09:14):
president john anchored us inthe storm. So we will be ever
united to the Most Holy Trinity.
Just a Jew all for all eternity.
body and heart. Pray for us. Weask this in the name of the
Father and up.

Unknown (01:09:33):
Amen. Amen.

Tim Stout (01:09:36):
Prayer St. Joseph.

Pray for a bus.

Tim Stout (01:09:40):
Hey, until two weeks, two weeks from now, till we get
back back in the studio i thinkis where we'll be taking Tim.

I'm taking Dallas bottling when Good

Tim Stout (01:09:53):
night, everybody.

Unknown (01:10:06):
Did you ever stop and think why spend too much time
getting ready? I don't know orsingle thing. You notice when I
see you my heart starts racing,but I don't know if the length

(01:10:29):
is Jason brown it's the samething my head start shaking

All Episodes

#33 - Marriage Ministry with Barbara and Eric Conklin

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#33 - Marriage Ministry with Barbara and Eric Conklin