March 12, 2025 • 52 mins
The Alaskan adventure contiinues as we fulfill Bonnie's last wishes by spending time together & processing grief in our own unconventional way.
• Boarding a small, luxury Seabourn cruise ship in Vancouver after spending the night at Pan Pacific Hotel
• Experiencing an unexpected customs incident where Christmas's sentimental pocket knife is confiscated
• Coining the phrase "Dead Mom Scavenger Hunt" when explaining our trip to new friends Luke and Michael
• Exploring Ketchikan including Dolly's House historic red light district tour and local dive bars
• Discovering the challenges of getting around in small Alaskan towns with no Uber access
• Visiting the Fortress of the Bear in Sitka to see rescued grizzly bears, including playful sister bears
• Exploring the Raptor Center in Sitka to see magnificent birds of prey including massive bald eagles
• Enjoying local Alaskan cuisine including king crab and specialty food trucks
• Learning about Alaskan pull-tab gambling games in local dive bars
• Embracing the cruise experience despite initially not considering ourselves "cruise people"
Welcome to Dead Mom Scavenger Hunt
Holla at us with questions or comments:
Email: dmshpod@gmail.com
Insta: @deadmomscavengerhunt
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Christmas IG: @drugstorecowgirljewelry
Cara IG: @cara.steinmann
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back.
We are here to talk more aboutAlaska, part two.
If you made it through part one, great job.
Yeah, I mean, we don't know ifthis is going to be interesting
to literally anyone else on theplanet but us, but part of our
mom's last wishes were for us tospend time together and, if
nothing else, this is a chancefor us to get together and hang
(00:22):
out and talk.
I mean, we're talking into amicrophone, but it's mostly just
like she and I are hanging outand shooting the shit, which we
would be doing anyways.
So it's a way for us to fulfillwishes.
Have a great time, stayconnected.
Process grief, process grief.
And if anyone happens to listento it and like it, that's kind
of just a bonus.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
That's kind of where we're at with it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, that's kind of where we're at with it.
Yeah, so when we left off, wewere spending the night at a
gorgeous hotel in Vancouver, panPacific.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Sidebar.
If you did miss the lastepisode I think it was, it'll be
episode six is where we startedthe trip to Alaska and we got
you all the way through to wherewe get on the boat.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We haven't actually made it to Alaska yet.
We're still in Canada.
We're still in Canada boat.
We haven't actually made it toAlaska yet.
We're still in Canada.
We're still in Canada.
It will have the word Alaska inthe title, but we'll try to
find something to make it funnyLike can you believe we haven't
even made it to Alaska yet?
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We'll workshop it.
It's okay, we can do whateverwe want.
We'll sort it out later.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We'll workshop it.
Okay, we stayed the night atthe Pan Pacific.
At this juncture in the journey, at this juncture in the
journey, god, those views we arewaking up in Vancouver.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We're ready to get on the ship.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
We're waking up in Vancouver.
I'm like, dear God, I have gotto wash this hair.
Canada deserved better.
Did you wash your?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
hair that morning I did.
I thought we didn't shower forlike the first week.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
No, we showered right before we got on the boat.
Okay, yeah, we showered thatday.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Spoiler alert.
We did go for a long time onthis trip.
Spoiler alert.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Cara and I are disgusting.
We are trash people.
I mean for classy ladies.
The white trash is strong in us.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I shower all the time at home.
I don't know why I went like awhole week without even body
rinsing on this trip.
It was so weird.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I shower all the time too, but I literally only wash
my hair once or twice a week.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I do loathe washing my hair.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
The washing part.
I don't like it's the dryingand dealing with it afterwards.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
For me it's the gagging in the shower thinking
about wet hair.
Oh yeah, Kara's got a like itis weird, insane.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I could literally just text her, which I have and
been like I saw a hair in thesink today and I thought of you
and she will.
If I send her a picture of ahair in the sink, good god, she
is going to like, like, throw upa little in her mouth, we're
done anyway.
Anyway, um, we both got cute.
(02:51):
We washed our hair showered.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Got cute showered got cute, realized we had no idea
how to get our bags on the boat.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, remember this was sort of like a little bit of
crisis well, no, they said justto put a tag on it and that
someone would come get them.
We didn't have any tags.
No, we care, is making this waymore dramatic than it actually
was?
I was worried about it.
We called and said hey, we'regetting on the seaborne boat
that's shipping out today.
Can you bring us tags?
And they said how many do youneed?
(03:19):
And we said six.
They said cool, they brought ustags, we put them on and then
they took our bags away, atwhich point Kara was like well,
I hope they get on the boat.
We don't know, we'll see.
I did have.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I will say I had very little faith in them delivering
our bags to the right places onthis entire trip.
I felt pretty good about it,except for my knife.
I'm happy, I am happy to reportthat when we did get on the
ship, our bags were in our room.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah fuck yeah, they were in our room.
They were.
They were in our room withchampagne and things waiting for
us like welcome snacks andthings.
Yeah, um, but we had to gobecause we were traveling from
canada to alaska, which is theUS, for those of you who are
real dum-dums For theuninitiated.
(04:10):
Yeah, we had to go throughcustoms before we got on the
boat.
Yes, and this is a good time tosay that I am a person who
always carries a pocket knife.
It is either in my purse or onmy person.
It started I couldn't even tellyou how many years ago my
(04:31):
grandfather, my mom's dad, whowe lived with for a good part of
my childhood, always carried apocket knife and I saw him use
it all the time and I justthought it was cool and you'd be
surprised how much I use it.
I use that thing almost everyday.
So I always carry a pocket knifeand I don't even think about it
(04:51):
unless I'm checking a bag in anairplane.
I put it in the bag and then,when I get to where I'm going, I
take it out of my bag and I putit either in my pocket or back
in my purse.
I did once fly to from SanFrancisco to San Diego and
forgot that it was in my purseand they didn't even catch it.
They just let me roll with it.
(05:12):
But then I got to San Diego andit's a sentimental pocket knife
.
I didn't want to, so I was allworried about them taking it on
the way home.
So I had to go to a post officeand mail it home to myself.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, I was not prepared for the level of
sentiment that you attached toyour pocket knife.
I love that knife so muchBecause when they took it from
you, I well, I forgot it was inmy purse.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Cause again, we weren't checking a bag on a
plane, we're just getting on aboat, but you still have to go
through security, us customs.
Uss Didn't think about it.
Should I have thought about it?
Yes, absolutely, Did I do that?
Surely not.
So when I went through she wasdetained, they sent my purse
through and were like Woo, woo,woo, yeah, well then they made
(06:00):
me do the whole you had to getlike patted down.
And oh, I got patted in so manyplaces.
I got a lot of action.
I'll say that um probed andthey took my knife and taped it
with like blue painters tape toa card and said we'll give this
back to you on the boat at theend.
(06:21):
Well, first they said we'llgive it back to you on the boat.
So I I was like, okay, cool,this is just a customs thing,
they'll give it back to me onthe boat.
Was I describe my level ofanxiety about my knife?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You were extremely anxious, yeah, about the fact
that it had been taken from youand that you weren't sure you
were going to get it back.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And part of the anxiousness was just my own
frustration with myself for notknowing better and putting it in
my big bag.
Yes, I felt like I had let myknife down.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
They eventually did release you, but did not release
the knife.
No, they kept the knife.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
They said we're going to give it to the stewards on
the ship and they will give itback to you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, it wasn't the steward.
It was, was it the steward?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
no, it was like head of security or something.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, security guy.
Yeah, uh, nice english fellawhose name I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
He's kind of hot I think pretty much anyone with a
british accent who doesn't havelike gray teeth is hot.
Okay, that's fair.
He had deece teeth, deece teethand he was.
He was kind of in like an oldersalt and pepper zaddy way with
a british accent.
Yeah, okay, um, so we, we get.
They do, release me.
Our bags are nowhere to be seen.
(07:34):
We're trusting the universethat they're gonna get on all my
belongings and her preciousknife are just in the ether.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, but we, we see the boat.
She's pretty, she's tiny, soand we made it through.
They let us through.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
They let us through.
And did we stand in a line toget on the boat?
I don't know if you could evencall that a line we just like we
walked right up.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
They checked our ticket numbers.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We got and this was where dead mom scavenger hunt
was born.
Yes, because we were walkingonto the boat talking to.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
We sat well we sat in rows of folding chairs just for
a few minutes, like I don'tknow maybe like 10 or 15 minutes
, yeah, until it was time toboard, yeah.
And then we got in a veryquickly moving line, got on the
ship and luke and michael werestanding.
Our friends, luke and michael,our friends look at the hat luke
and michael.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Cheers to luke and michael.
They were standing in linebehind us also, I always clock
when there's a lovely gay coupleand I'm like that's who we're
gonna hang out with.
Those are our new best friends.
I had clocked them because theywere sitting next to us.
They had beautiful luggage,they had beautiful watches.
They looked so cute togetherand so they were.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I had already had a crush on both of them behind us
in line getting on, and that'swhen we started talking to them
and they were like oh, you knowdo you have you cruised seaborne
?
Are you cruisers?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
and we're like no, and apparently they're like they
stay on seaborne pretty hard.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, they're um locals, yeah, locals on the
seaborne adventure and they weremeeting up with some family
members and stuff.
And um, they were, and you,that's when the phrase dead mom
scavenger hunt was coined, whenI it flew out of my lips and I
shuddered in my soul.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It kind of wasn't planned, but it fits so
perfectly.
And, as I mentioned before, Ithink subconsciously I phrased
it like that because I didn'twant people to think they had to
walk on eggshells about it ortiptoe around about it.
But I also wanted a quick,concise way to say what we were
doing and why we were cruising,even though we said that we were
not cruise people.
It is a great way to describewhat we were doing.
(09:25):
Um, so we got to our room,which I was so excited when we
saw our room.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's, it was beautiful it was absolutely
gorgeous, spacious, had a littlesuite that had a balcony and a
separate little room forsleeping, like you could.
Yeah, there's a bedroom.
Yeah, there's a bedroom.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
A full bedroom, a giant ass walk-in closet, a mini
fridge, which they said we'llstock whatever you want, just
like write down on a piece ofpaper what you want.
Or just call and say I needmore root beer, or we really
like this one Sauvignon Blanc,which was what we did.
They had, yeah, champagnewaiting for us.
(10:03):
We popped the champagne, wetoasted mom, and I didn't know
this, but usually when, I guess,when a boat is ship, I should
probably say ship when it'spulling away from port, they
like play music and it'spartying, and I made caris sing
the canadian national anthem,which you did a great job at
(10:24):
such a kook we had been on theboat for maybe 15 minutes.
There was already a dude in thehot tub yes, there was one guy
who you could tell.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We were standing kind of up on top watching the ship.
We were like watching uswatching ourselves sail away.
Well, we wanted to go.
Yeah, we went to.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We we had to explore the different levels of the ship
and we went to the top levelbecause we really wanted to get
all the views.
And we got a view of a dudealready in the hot tub, his wife
like noodle dancing next to himyeah, white people noodle
dancing.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
He clearly had done this before and he was an older
gentleman, as you, I think,mentioned um, so we nicknamed
him what do you call him?
Glenn, glenn, carl.
We thought he definitely wasthe kind of guy.
Well, I think we were.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We were like what's his name?
And I said Glenn and you saidCarl at the same time.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So we decided he was one of those guys that has two
first names.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Glenn Carl.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And then we're like that sounds like a band like
Glenn Carl and the Saggies.
Yeah, we were talking about hisballs.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Absolutely, glenn Carl and the Saggy Balls.
I don't think we posted apicture of Glenn Carl.
I gotta think I did, because itseems like something I would do
If we didn't, I will.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I'll find it's from far away.
You can't really.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Oh, my god, we forgot the aquarium.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Oh yeah, we did go to the aquarium in Vancouver as
well.
It was again like On the list.
That was on the list and we didtalk about that, I think in
episode one we did so circleback to episode one.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
If you want to hear about that, stanley Park is
amazing and the VancouverAquarium chef's kiss.
They're really doing the Lord'swork there.
This is a good time to say Karaand I are.
Neither of us are religious atall, so if you hear us say thank
God or doing the Lord's work,it is not because that's our
normal mode of operating.
(12:09):
Yeah, okay, oh, here's yousinging the national anthem.
Where is Glen Carl?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
in the studies.
I have a picture of Glen Carl.
Oh, there he is.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
There he is.
We'll put it on the socials.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
No, we'll just put it in.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Patreon.
Okay, he is in the hot tub.
His wife is sitting next to himalready, eye rolling.
Yeah, and do you think thatthis was him just kind of like
exerting his dominance over thehot tub like he's first man in?
He's like this is my hot tub,my man ball sweat is already in
here.
So if you guys want to get in,know that glenn carl has already
(12:45):
had his balls all up in there.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I feel like this was not his first rodeo and he was
like I am.
This is the only way to shoveoff is to be in the hot tub
while we, while we deport andhead on our way.
This is, this is the exitstrategy.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
This is the exit strategy um, he also seems like
he's just a hot tub guy.
Yes, I bet he has one at home.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I wish I was a hot tub girl.
I want a hot tub.
I don't give a shit about hottubs.
Oh my God, I love a hot tub.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Also, let's remember, this is in Vancouver, which,
even in July, which this was wasnot hot, no, it was chilly.
It was chilly, it was, and hewas just like in his little,
like man swimsuit yeah, feelinghim so.
So at this point in the trip weare afloat we are afloat and
we've seen our home for the nextweek, seven days yep, and then
(13:36):
what did we do?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
so it we were at sea for at least 24 hours before we
got.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, well, and they had that whole welcome.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh yeah, we did have to show up and um like get a
debrief about oh, the, the, ummuster we had to muster, yeah,
where your muster station is.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
This is just safety bullshit, but it was okay.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But I will say, you know, going back to last much we
hated the big cruise lines.
This was very small, it wasvery cozy, um, and I think we
got to.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
We just had to show up at the location and then we
got to go watch a video back inthe room oh yeah, remember we
didn't have to sit through awhole presentation and our
muster station was like thefancy, the fancy dinner place,
like the ballroom, yeah, so we.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
We showed up there.
They said, you could watch thison your yeah, it was really,
really at your leisure.
They made it very easy for us,yeah, and then we cruised along
um the I don't think we were inthe inside passage yet, but they
had music.
And oh yeah, when I took thatvideo, you went out on the
balcony and you were drinking aglass of wine and having like
(14:39):
sort of an emotional moment,which I did not realize at the
time.
Oh, but you scored it to musicand you scored it, that that
music on.
I did.
You put that music on.
I think we, I think we cansafely say that my music skills
while we were there were sus atbest, and I was videotaping you
out the window and I didn'trealize you were having like a
sad moment.
It wasn't a sad moment.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It was just a pensive moment.
It was a emotionally chargedmoment.
Yeah, yeah, you can tell Iwashed my hair that morning.
That's some freshly washed hair, yeah, yeah.
So Did we go to?
We went to the fancy diningroom that night.
(15:21):
We did.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
We went to the fancy dining room and had a lovely
meal.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh, and remember, I and also the food is actually
good, really good on us.
Well, on this particularseaborne ship, we can't speak to
any of the other ones withouttrying them.
I would nudge, nudge, wink,wink.
No, no, we're gonna have tocheck.
I'm just gonna shut the fuckout.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I think that's a great call this is gonna be a
long road for you if I shut allthe way up I'm all the way up um
what was our first stop umketchikan.
So we cruise, cruise, cruise.
Super comfy bed, by the way,the whole the accommodations
like.
I cannot say enough good thingsabout how cozy and comfy the
(16:08):
sea ship was.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, and they gave us the nicest Helly Hansen.
Oh yeah, we had to go claim ajacket.
We had to go claim a jacket,they're so.
Is it a color I would pick?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
No, I would absolutely pick that color.
I love that color blue.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
You look great in that blue.
You do too.
It's just not a color.
It's not a color I wear a lot.
I'm a black and white and grayperson.
I'm wearing blue right now, butthey're like Helly Hansen, I
know is great ski wear.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, it's high end ski wear.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, and this thing was windproof.
Yeah, wayne proof, wayne pool,wayne proof no one named wayne
can touch you when you'rewearing this.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
My neighbor across the street is named wayne fuck
that guy.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
He's not touching you in this coat.
Yeah, they're very nice.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I sent a picture to Jeremy and he was like holy shit
, that's a really nice assjacket.
I'm like I know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Also, I was like there's no fucking way I'm
wearing this while we're on thiscruise, because it was also, I
think, the reason they do this.
It's a high vis, blue, yep,easily identifiable, so if
you're at a port, of course, alot of people were like I'm
going to wear this new seabornejacket so you could clock the
(17:21):
people any place we stopped.
We were like, oh, there's aseaborne asshole.
There's another seaborne assholenot that they're ass, not that
they're assholes but I thinkthat's what some of the people
in the ports probably think.
Right, we weren't thinking wewere not going to wear them at
all they do say seaborne on themalso yeah, which I mean I'm
gonna wear it at some point andI'm gonna laugh my ass off if
someone is like oh seaborne hey,I wore mine uh to walk the dog
(17:42):
when I got home and sent you apicture.
I was like look at my jacket,yeah it, but it also because
everyone was wearing them.
It did look like we had joineda cult.
We did look like a cult.
A hundred percent looked like acult.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I think you, before we got our jackets, though even
you got a massage, because,remember, you woke up like the
morning we left vancouver ohyeah, I did something weird in
your neck.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I did um, I tried to.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I tried to work it out with a tennis ball that's
why I have all these pictures ofyou in your uggs and your.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
There's a there's a great video of me trying to work
it out on the the wall and Ilook like I'm owing on the wall.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
And that's yeah.
And then there's pictures of mewearing this level.
I love orange.
I do love an orange and blue.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
It's like a Denver Broncos situation, which I know
you don't give a shit about,right?
We also, because our first 24hours were at sea, learned some
things.
We learned that Kara is anexcellent card shuffler I am.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I am really good at shuffling cards.
I am not because we playedrummy.
We played rummy we.
We went to the and it wasreally funny because there's
this like beautiful observatorykind of room in the beginning
conservatory and it's very quietand everyone was in there
reading books and being superquiet, but we wanted to play
cards, so we went in there andI'm shuffling cards.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It was so loud.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I have a video, I think.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh no, I do too I think it's, is it posted?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
There?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
it is.
No, we'll post it.
It's really funny Cracking up.
Oh, I got a note under the doorthat said Christmas Stewart, we
have your knife.
This is not what it said.
I mean, it's called aconfiscated item receipt that
got slipped under the door, butit said that they have a pocket
knife, black pocket knife, dateof confiscation and that they
(19:26):
would give it back to me at theend of the trip.
Now, was there a picture of it?
No, did I know that?
It was my specific knife that Ilove?
no, I just had to say I had tohope and dream.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Needless to say, she was still spinning wildly out of
control about this knife.
I really was I think I thinkthere's like one formal dinner
night, yeah, per like, perpeople like they well, there's,
there's a sign there's themedevents.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, well, the, because the first night there
was an LGBTQ meetup.
Yes, and I was like we're goingto that Cause, that's where
we're going to find our people.
Yep, we went to the LGBTQmeetup, met all our new best
friends.
We saw Luke and Michael there.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
We saw Luke and Michael.
We met all their friends thatthey were meeting Alfredo,
alfredo, yeah.
So that was super fun.
And then I think that firstnight was the formal night.
It was I want to say it wasbecause I can see us in our
formal attire.
We also like sidebar.
We packed way too much shit forthis trip.
(20:32):
I brought stuff that I didn'twear or even think about wearing
.
I don't know what I wasthinking.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I wore most of my things except for some footwear,
cause we didn't well our formal, our formal wear.
We both wore a beautiful fancydress.
I did wear a gown and I wasgoing to wear some really cute
white boots with it and justwasn't feeling it and I was like
you know what I'm going to wear?
This formal gown with mycheckerboard vans.
And I wore my vans.
And Kara was like you know whatI'm going to wear?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
this formal gown with my checkerboard vans, and I
wore my vans, and Kara was likeyou know what?
I'm going to wear mycheckerboard vans too.
I was going to wear myflip-flops, but I did have vans,
of course, because who doesn'thave vans Right, everywhere they
go, sure.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And I'm not a fancy shoe.
It's usually in the snow or therain.
It's got to be pretty serious.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, like if it's just flip-flop family, flip-flop
family.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
So we did, we wore our vans to dinner that night,
which looked fucking cute.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
It was fun.
It was really fun and the foodwas so good.
I think that was the night.
We had the fish with thepotatoes, the mashed potatoes,
that was good.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Oh, I am a sucker for a mashed potato.
Was that the night we got ropedinto having dinner with those
two ladies?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
that were like no, because I think.
No, you know it was.
Yeah, that was the night we metum faith, and I have their
names hold on okay because weneed to tip the hat to them.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Tip of the hat to them.
Well then, were the two ladiesfrom new Orleans that I loved um
, who are not faith and otherfaith.
I'm Facebook friends with bothof them, on or not Facebook, um
on the Instagram, and I don'tremember either of their names,
and I feel so bad now becausethey were so great.
I have it written downsomewhere Shoot.
(22:15):
Um, uh Shoot.
This is great podcasting rightnow.
Well, it's not important, I'llcut it out, but we happen to be
waiting for a table in thecrystal ballroom or whatever the
fuck it's called the fancierdinner place, and these ladies
(22:37):
in front of us were like oh,there's two of you, there's two
of us.
Do you guys want to have dinnertogether?
And this was maybe the first orsecond night and Kara and I
were both thinking, oh shit, arewe gonna get it?
Do you want to talk about momtrauma with these two?
That seems fun.
So we had dinner with them.
Um, one of them was datingshitty dudes we had to give
(22:57):
relationship advice.
The other one was talking to usabout how to be more godly.
She was recently divorced.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Remember, um, and she was like, oh, god, damn it.
This is such a bad podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
There was a lot of talk about jesus having plans
for us, and kara and I are justkind of kicking each other under
the table.
Yes, chris and Sandy were fromNOLA.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Oh, chris, and.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Sandy are the ones we love.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
From NOLA.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Yeah, yes, chris and Sandy.
Cheers to Chris and Sandy, ifyou guys are listening to this,
and I know Sandy for sure wasdefinitely into doing one for
her kids, and I think Chris wasas well doing a Dead Mom
Scavenger house.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yes, and then it was hope and roberta.
Hope was from camel, indiana,and roberta was from cincinnati
okay, and those were the galsthat we had dinner with on
formal night and it was I wantto say it was.
Was it hope or roberta that hadjust gotten divorced and she
was?
She gave us some of thefunniest quotes do you have them
?
I do, I'm okay, cara's reallygood at remembering quotes.
(23:58):
No, I have to write them down.
Oh sorry, she's good at writingthem down.
That's why I'm struggling,because I'm trying to find them.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh yeah, hope said um , I don't do pretend.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I don't do pretend anymore.
Yeah, that was really cute,because it wasn't her husband a
doctor.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
And she was like I worked three jobs, while that
motherfucker she didn't saymotherfucker, but she was like
while he went through medicalschool and then he like cheated
on me and left me and nowanytime, like we're together, I
have to pretend like I like himand for the sake of the kids the
kids are all adults, by the way, the kids are all in their 30s
and she was like I don't dopretend anymore.
Yeah, also, I like to thinkthat we gave Hope like some
(24:37):
chutzpah, also because weweren't going to talk to her
about what Jesus wants her to do.
She also said I just got to gohome and do nothing Like when
she doesn't want to do something, she'll be like I just got to
go home and do nothing.
Pretend is not my thing anymore, which I love.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
We have all these funny quotes that I wrote down,
Like where does this one comefrom?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
When he touches your body, it's a miracle.
Where did that come from?
I don't know.
I wish I knew.
Though, when he touches yourbody, it's a miracle.
Oh, and then the bartender.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Well, we'll get there may we have another glass of
wine?
Yes, you may.
That'll be 10 bones.
Oh, that's right, 10 bones baby10 bones.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Um well, catch a can was our first step, and this is
this is what I told kara.
Anytime you want to see a place, we're not doing fucking
excursions if there's shit wewant to see.
And there was a couple placeswe wanted to see, but each of
those was one excursion throughthe boat, because then you have
to deal with a bunch of otherpeople.
I was like we'll just pop overto one, get in an Uber, pop over
(25:39):
to the other one.
We can bang both those out.
Bing, bang, boom.
In the time it takes people tojust get on that bus.
Yes, and I said, if you want tosee a place, what you do is you
get as far away from the cruiseas you can.
You go to the first dive baryou find, or just any like
(26:01):
sketchy looking dive bar, andyou talk to that bartender
because they're going to tellyou what's up and where you
should go and that's exactlywhat we did in ketchikan as soon
as we got off the boat.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
We did that everywhere did we go buy gloves
and hats first, or did we go tothe bar first?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
we went to the bar first we got off the boat we
went to the bar and that's whereshe told us about dolly's house
, dolly very famous, madamstopped in.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
What did we?
We stopped in, bought somedrink, drink tokens.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
We bought drink tokens we have to go back to
alaska.
We have so many drink tokensfrom so many bars for anyone who
doesn't know what a drink tokenis.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
In some places in the world you can buy like a little
wooden chip, like a poker chipthat has usually some kind of
marking on it.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It's like good for one drink.
It's like a gift card, but it'sa gift chip, yeah, it's gift
chip, yeah, token.
So I wonder if Dolly's housewas affected in that landslide
that happened right after weleft.
I do not know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I hope not, I doubt it.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Dolly's house went there.
Well worth it.
So great, amazing, madam.
I love madams.
She was also in cahoots.
She lived next door to thesheriff, or somebody.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Marshall, I don't know.
All of this is very like therewas so much information flying
at us all the time.
Yeah, and we were drinkingIrish coffees at like eight
o'clock in the morning.
Sure.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
We were.
We were drinking irish coffeesat like eight o'clock in the
morning.
Sure we were in vacation mode.
Don't judge us, yeah, um.
Don't judge me, don't, no, no,you're judging your own self and
I am I'm.
I don't like it and I won'thave it yeah, so that was really
fun.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Um walked around ketchikan.
I will say ketchikan was much.
Um we, we had breakfast at thatlittle hole in the wall.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Oh, that was where that guy was watching funny
videos beside us.
Oh yeah, he was so great and hethe server said he came there
every single day, usually hadthe same thing and remember the
servers were fucking with him.
They were like cranking him.
Yeah, they were putting likeshit in his coffee.
Yeah, it was cute.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
It was.
It was a cute little scene.
Yeah, it was a cute littlescene.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, and they gave us a walking map.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yep, we got a walking map Saw some totem poles, lots
of totem poles.
It was lovely, I think of likeall the weather we could have
gotten in Alaska.
It could have rained on us alot more than it did we did not
get.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I love the rain, so I wasn't mad about it.
I don't love the rain.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh, it was the preacher's house.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
The madam lived next door to the preacher's house and
they were totally like coolwith each other.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
That's where I found out that, at Dolly's house is
where I found out thatprostitutes used to put silver
dollars up their hoo-hahsBecause that would like damage
the sperms and that's how they.
That was one of their firstforms of birth control.
Remember that.
I do remember that.
I thought that was one of theirfirst forms of birth control.
Remember that.
I do remember that.
I thought that was fascinating.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
The sign outside Dolly's house says where both
men and salmon come upstream tospawn, and it is a historic red
light tour in Ketchikan.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Highly recommend.
Very entertaining.
Highly recommend.
Very fascinating, interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I mean Dolly God.
I love her.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, so Ketchikan, we were only there for a handful
of hours.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
We didn't have a whole lot of time.
Uh, we did.
Okay, so we did dolly's housewe.
We walked around those stairs.
We saw some streams.
Um, we went to yet another divebar.
Oh, that's where we catch a can, is where we discovered the
little pull tab things.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yes, I don't know what those are called.
Let us talk about the pull tabsin Alaska.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I don't know what they're called either, but and
where we played our first gameof bar Yahtzee and we I put
myself as JB Fletcher, you putyourself down as hot dog, cock
dog, rooster plate.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
What you used emojis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am Felicianow.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, you're Felicia, I think I'm still JB Fletcher.
Oh yeah, we tried on some greatclothes.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
The Pioneer, did you already get?
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Pioneer.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Cafe.
No, yeah, yeah, that's where wehad breakfast.
That was really good.
Pioneer Cafe.
Little greasy spoon hole in thewall.
Loved it.
The dude next to us, he lookedlike he was, I did take a
picture of him.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
He looks like he's 120 years old.
He was probably 40.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
What did we split?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
a BLT and a clam chowder and a chowder.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
BLT and a chowder picture of a ford ranger.
Hmm, shocker.
Yeah, it was a cute little town, it was a good time, um, and
then we went down to oh, thepotlatch which is a great dive
bar.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, that wasn't the first dive bar we went to, but
it was the last yeah, that wason the way back to the ship what
was the first one?
Do you remember uh?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
no, I don't.
I might have a picture of it Idon't either, but also that
bartender was.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
She was chef's kiss good information.
Okay, here's pictures of thatbar, but I don't either, but
also that bartender was Chef'sKiss Good, she was full of
information.
Okay, here's pictures of thatbar, but I don't know they're
not going to have their name inthere.
I mean, this is good podcasting.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I know we suck.
Sorry guys, I'll cut this outif I have to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
We can cut it out.
And you taught me Kitchiitchikkitchik constant style kitchen,
noble kitchipopo kitchikconstantinople.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
we don't know what it means, if you know what it
means, my grandma iris used tosay that growing up holla at us
and she, yeah, I would actuallylove to solve this mystery
because she would always say itgrowing up and I I never thought
to ask her what it meant.
She's gone now.
She passed um, i't know like 10years ago or something like
that, and I have Googled, I havetried to figure out what that
(31:24):
means.
Maybe I could ask ChatGPT, butit's all phonetic too.
I don't know what it would looklike spelled out, where the
language comes from.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I remember hearing it as a kid too.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Was it gobbledygook?
I don't know.
I wonder if it's just like acanadian little like nursery
rhyme thing.
I don't know.
I feel like it had.
I don't know.
But she would always saybecause I remember hearing it as
a kid too kitchen opal, kitchen, popo, kitchen, constand and
opal and I feel like it's aeither a curse or some kind of
I'm gonna guess it's not a curseif grandma iris was just saying
(31:55):
it to you constantly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
She's like I hex you with my dying breath no.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
No I mean she wasn't hexing me, obviously, but like
some kind of incantation ofsorts.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
She was probably trying to cast the demons out of
you, probably she was alwaysvery worried about, like
hanky-panky and like saving yoursoul.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Saving my soul in that way, yes, yeah.
Again, we'll cover ourreligious trauma in a different
episode that will be a differentepisode so.
Ketchikan was a success.
Yes, got back on the ship.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
When we were leaving for dinner that night to go to.
I don't think we had dinner atthe Fancy Pants place that night
, I think we went to.
Oh sorry, we forgot to talkabout the pull tabs.
Yeah, we got to finish, pulltabs Okay.
(32:44):
So in Alaska you can buy theselike little lottery tickets, but
they have like physical littletabs on them that you pull open
and they have like a verysatisfying sound that's like
right, well, and you're notallowed to gamble in the bars
there right, because we wereplaying yahtzee on my phone and
we were trying to use like welearned in sitka when we know we
learned in sitka when we pulledout the deck of cards remember,
yes, but also remember we werejust playing Yahtzee with like
straws and they were like no,you can't do that yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
So we got in trouble.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
The pull tabs are so fun.
What are they like?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
They're a dollar a piece or something like that, or
a quarter a piece, I don't knowwhat they are.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Cheap as shit.
But then we kept winninganother you know dollars worth.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
We didn't ever win any money.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
But we won many more pull tabs.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Allegedly you can.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You know what we won?
We won hours of entertainment.
It was very entertaining.
They should have them here inthe US.
So fucking fun.
I'm glad they don't.
I'm glad they don't.
Would you just be a hardcorebeer donkey it would be a bad
scene.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I'll just say I liked them a lot and it's.
I like them a lot too to likesidle up to the bar and buy a
bunch we'll play 20 worth ofpull tabs and they just hand you
like a thousand of them.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It was so fun.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
We settled into the culture very quickly I could
live in alaska so easily.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Um, I don't think I would even mind the dark times.
You would not be able tosurvive the dark times, nope I
barely survived december andjanuary yeah in california kara
is far more solar powered than Iam yes, I am I'm lunar powered
yes, I need the sun, I need like.
Even right now it's raining andI'm mad, oh I love it, the like,
gray skies, rain that is my jam.
(34:14):
Um, so we left ketchikan.
We got back on the boat.
Kara was a little worried aboutmissing the boat always in
forever, because she's aworrywart.
Um, and we didn't go to thefancy pants restaurant that
night.
We went to the colonnade, didwe?
Yes, um, and that was the nightthat we were about to leave and
(34:36):
I was like we got to turn offthe music in our room before we
go.
Where the fuck is that musiccoming from?
And you started filming me andI could not figure out why and I
wanted to capture wherever themusic was coming from, because
it was really weird.
I looked for that music for fiveminutes, could not figure it
out.
At one point opened therefrigerator as if it would be
coming from in there.
(34:57):
Like, looked everywhere, wefinally figured out your girl's
a dum-dum.
It was playing from my phonewhich was in my back pocket so
of course it was following youaround.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Yes, yeah.
And then you called me later.
You and reina called me on thephone and accused me of
orchestrating that whole thing.
You guys thought you set me up.
You were like so did you at anypoint start recording because
you knew that it was coming?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
well, I didn't I didn't think that and I was
showing right into the video andlisten here, bitches.
No, I didn't think that untilshe she put that in my ear.
I was showing her the videobecause I was like, look, your
girl's a dum-dum.
And she was like, oh, bitch,cara, like set you up.
I was like, no, she, yourgirl's a dumb, dumb.
And she was like, oh, bitch,cara, like set you up.
I was like, no, she didn't.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I did not set you up.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
She's not that devious.
I'm not that clever.
And Raina was like oh she 100%did, so I had to call you
immediately to know if you hadset me up.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I was so offended that you thought I set you up.
I was cracking up you littleproud that I thought you were
that devious, or possibly thatdevious.
No, I just I'm just not like.
I just I'm so literal, like I'mnot even sarcastic, barely ever
, because it just doesn't.
It's not the way my brain works.
Like I just wouldn't think ofdoing that to you.
Oh, it was.
I was just trying to documenteverything because that was the
(36:12):
plan.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I felt so stupid we were going to try to document
anything that might beinteresting.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah, so yeah, just for the record, that was not my
orchestration.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
You guys can see it in the Instagram highlights.
I was just as confused as youwere.
I took so many pictures of theAlaska sunset, which is at
midnight.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
God, that was a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I loved it I took so many pictures of the sunset at
midnight.
Oh, here's one that you musthave taken, because it's just a
picture of the railing of ourveranda.
That's how you know, kara tookit.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
That's how good I am, folks.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Was.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Hanes, our next stop.
Next was Sitka, I believe.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Oh yeah, bear time.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
We had to get on one of those little.
What are those called?
It's like a little tiny ferrythat you take.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yeah, it's a ferry that you take from, because one
of the other nice things aboutSeabourn we're not sponsored.
We would love to be, we're not.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Even though they we might be by the time you listen
to this.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
God willing, even though willing, um, they, even
though they are a small ship,there are certain small towns
that just don't have a dock thatcan really accommodate them.
So you do have to take a littlelike it's not a zodiac, but
it's not far off um to theirtiny little baby docks and cares
(37:36):
.
Right now, care is trying tofigure it out.
She's asking are you asking drsister?
No, no, no, google, she'strying to figure it out.
She's asking Are you asking DrSister?
No, no, no, google, she's justGoogling it.
Sitco, now we're getting tobear time.
Guys, which is what A tender?
Tender is the night.
Tender is what?
The little tiny Tender?
No, that's Secret Lover.
Tender lovers, that's what weare.
(37:58):
Tried so hard to hide, the waywe be.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
That's secret lovers.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
That's not right.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Tender lovers is what it is now in my brain.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
I'll never get out of there, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
But it is called a tender.
Yeah, as in, tender lovingfeeling.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
I was so excited about the grizz.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yes, so we had, there were, several things that we
could do in Sitka.
Sitka was gorgeous All thesetiny little islands around it.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Well, even when we were, when we knew we were going
to Alaska, I had requisitionsof Kara had things she wanted to
do.
I had things I want to do, andtwo main things that I wanted to
do was bear time, grizzly beartime.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
see some grizz and big birds of prey time yep, I
wanted a raptor rescue centerand bear time, yep, but and
sitka was both of those wedidn't want to have to choose
one or the other and they didsort of overlap, I believe if
you, if you went through thetour part, you went through the
tour, yeah, which is I was likebing bang, boom.
We're gonna do both of them wehad this great plan that we were
going to show up in Sitka andUber wherever we wanted to go.
Spoiler alert Heads up Big fatred warning for anyone going to
(39:05):
most, I think, most places inAlaska.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, all the tiny places we went, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You probably can't Uber wherever you want to go
cars.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Not a lot of cars.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
In the morning we went to the first restaurant we
could find, got an irish coffeeand asked the bartender how do
we get?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
how do we?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
get out here and she's like like we're like are
there cabs here?
How do people get places?
And she was like there are twopeople that drive places in this
town yeah here's this one guy.
I highly recommend call him, hewill come get you do you
remember his name?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
rob?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
is rob, right, I don't remember his name.
I wish I did, but he he showedup in like a nondescript van and
was like hop in, yeah, and wewere like cross our fingers and
I mean luckily we're old enoughto where no one's trying to
traffic us.
Like no one cares.
I'm not sure anyone wants this.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But at this point, this is when I was really
wishing I had my knife, because,you just never know, I like to
have my knife on me.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
We also had very limited cell phone coverage.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
We had zero cell phone coverage.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Well, we did in town, because we did call them and
get connected, yeah, I guessthat's true.
What's his name?
Whatever his name was, we'llcall him Jason or something.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Let's call him Rob, because I think that might
actually be his name.
So Rob came and picked us upand I didn't get like a serial
killer vibe, no, no, he wassuper cool.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Him and his wife were from Sitka and they had a
bakery out in Arizona where theyspent their summers Right or no
Alaskan winters they spent outin Arizona and then they would
come back to Alaska for thesummer.
And he drove around and I don'tknow what she did, but I think
she baked, maybe I don't know,but yeah, they like specialized
(40:52):
in scones or something like that, I don't know.
Anyway, so he drove us out tothe Fortress of the Bear and
said, okay, I got to go back totown and pick up some other
people.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
I'll come back in like a I'll be back in 45
minutes to take you guys back totown.
I think he told us more than 45minutes.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
He said 45 minutes an hour.
Oh, okay, something like that.
That's how long we were at theFortress of the Bear.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Time is loose in Alaska it's loose.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
And we it's loose and we had zero cell phone
reception out at the fortress ofthe bear so no, we're just so.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
We visited the fortress of the bear.
Fortress of a bear is a placewhere it is all rescue bears who
can't be in the wild, yep, butthere was the first thing we saw
which made me cry because itwas so cute.
It was two sister, two bearswho are sisters, who were just
in the water tackling each otherand having so much fun just
(41:41):
playing, playing, playing.
And I was like, look, kara,it's us in bear form and I
totally cried because it wasvery cute.
Um, when we're both, kara and Ilive, we have like black bears
are a dime a dozen they'realways all over the place yeah,
there was one in your garage yes, there was one in my garage
yeah, we have a lot of blackbears.
We don't have brown bears and wedon't have the grizz, because
(42:03):
california sucks and we used tohave brown bears here, but, um,
I shouldn't say california sucks, humans suck, and we got rid of
the brown bears here, um, butwe saw major grizz.
We saw those cute brown bearsisters.
I tried to follow thatveterinarian down because I
(42:24):
wanted a closer look I almostmade it yeah, somebody was the
owner.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
The owner was like ushering his buddy down there to
take photos.
Who?
Speaker 1 (42:33):
was a former the bears former veterinarian and I
was just like if I just walkdown with them, like I own the
joint, like maybe I'll get farenough to where they can't let
me walk back by myself yeah, shehas zero regard for the rules,
just FYI.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
I do, and Kara is a rule follower and I just shook
my head and watched her getrebuffed when the guy was like
almost made, like what are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
I made it all the way down and he was like, are you
with him?
And the vet's like, nope, she'snot with me.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
He was like you gotta go.
They made you turn around andgo back.
All right, it was worth a shot.
Hey, I shot my shot.
Yeah, she just wanted to get alittle bit closer I wanted to
get so close to that cute bear.
So and it was a giant grizzlyand it was so fucking cute so we
got our fill of the bears, andthen we went out front and sat
down and waited for rob to comeget us.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
There was a moment when I was like Rob's never
coming back, Like he's, we'vebeen abandoned, but we live here
now Like in reality.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
We only waited like 10 minutes out front and then up
he rolls in his little minivan,yeah, and slid the door open
for us and we hopped in and wentback to town and he dropped us
off at at the the raptor centercenter.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah, I will tell you .
I did check when we got in thecar the first time to make sure
there were handles on the insideof the door.
Oh good call, because that wasa ted bundy trick.
In his little like gold car hewould like be like, help me with
my boat.
I have a cast on.
And then, once he got in, thechicks would realize that the
(44:00):
the doors did not have handleson the interior.
So I did check for handles onthe interior okay, so you are as
paranoid as I am I, I'mcautious and I listen to enough
true crime.
That, and I think that's why Ilisten to true crime, because I
want to know what to look for.
I'm not going to get trappedinto any of those old tropes.
(44:20):
And I didn't have my knife, soI was on extra alert.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Okay, and he was very cool.
If you ever go to Sitka and youneed a ride, we have nothing
but great things to say aboutthe one guy that did that.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
One guy is doing a hell of a job.
Yeah, it was a red minivan.
Ask yeah, it was a red minivan.
Ask for the bakery guy.
Yeah, bakery guy in a redminivan.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
That's all we can tell you.
So he dropped us at the RaptorCenter.
We loved it.
We walked around, we checkedthat out.
It was so cool, the Raptor.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Center made me so happy we saw we have bald eagles
where we live.
But if ours are like a foot anda half tall, the ones there are
two and a half feet tall,they're easily 50 bigger than
our bald eagles.
And I have only where we live.
(45:04):
I have only in my life everseen a golden eagle once in in
the wild and they had thisgolden eagle.
Oh, he was so beautiful.
His name was oliver, I believe.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I think you're right, yeah, yeah, I took a little
stroll down a nature path andthen we left and bakery driver
gave us Rob gave us directionshow to walk back through like a
park.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It was like a national park.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
We got to walk back through like a little pristine
kind of park area.
Back to town, where we weresupposed to find, we got the
holy motherfucking jesus.
Okay, what?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
just happened.
We have a glass table.
No, it just slid to the left.
You got to go on the other side.
Oh my god, how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
no, you must have been like weirdly I haven't done
anything.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I don't think we can edit this out.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
We're not going to edit this out, no well I mean,
we'll edit out for the audio,because this is bad audio.
Okay, but can you, can youremove the tablecloth over there
, so that we can at least seehow even it is on that side?
Speaker 1 (46:11):
oh, let me look uh, you need to come yonder your way
a little bit that looks good,okay, yeah okay anyway, I don't
know how that happened.
Wow, I mean the coffee tablesucks anyways.
Okay, it's fine, so we're back.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
He gave instructions through the nature walk back to
he also told us um, to go backto town where they would be
blocking the streets off forlike a little street fair kind
of situation oh yeah, and hetold us to go to this one
particular food truck that had,oh, that crab place, the last
thinking yeah, it was.
No, it was the um the bun.
(46:49):
What, what, oh my god?
What was the bon me place?
No, it wasn't by me.
It was like the little um we,we ate a bun that was filled
with some kind of seafood withlike a sauce.
That was a banh mi.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
It was like a Vietnamese bun.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
That was not banh mi.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I'm saying it was banh mi.
Okay, hold on Adjacent yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
I'm going to find it.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
But we went to this little black food truck.
I'm sure there's a picture.
It was a snow crab roll.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
It was a crab roll, crab roll.
Yeah God, what is wrong with me?
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Topped with a secret sauce and seaweed powder on warm
local brioche.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
That was so fucking good.
I wished we split one, and Iwished Sitka's world famous.
Yeah, I wished that we hadgotten more.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
A whole one I didn't want, because I also wanted just
regular Alaskan king crab.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Which we then did go find there was a tiny little
alleyway where it was calledfisherman's alley fisherman's
alley I got picks.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Very cool alaskan king crab is beautiful to look
at with their big sexy legs.
Yes, oh, that's what we weretalking about yeah, where I live
on the coast in northerncalifornia we have a crab season
.
We get crab a lot and we getDungeness crab, which Bonnie
also lives here and she lovedDungeness crab Dungies, as I
(48:04):
like to call them.
We like to get them live justoff the boat.
Bonnie did love to murder acrab.
She loved a crab murder.
Yeah, I love a crab murder too.
There's a way to do it humanely.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
She introduced me to crab in my early 20s because I
never ate it growing up.
And then one of her favoritestories to tell was about the
time that jeremy and I, when wewere dating yeah, I think we
weren't married yet, we werejust dating and he came out to
her place with me and we stayedand she cooked us crab and he
ate two whole crabs incredible,and he was.
She was just like blown away.
Blown away that he ate thatmuch crab and it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
I mean Dungeness crab , which, which was the point of
this Alaskan king crab fresh inAlaska, is amazing in a
side-by-side comparison of justjust preference fresh Alaskan
king crab versus fresh Dungy.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
I'm going to go dungy , it's a personal preference.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
It is a personal preference.
I would go dungeness also.
It's like Coke versus Pepsi.
I suppose it is a very personaldecision.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, okay, so we went still in Sitka.
Yeah, maybe we might have tohave several episodes of this
trip.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Oh yeah, it was like 11 days long.
I don't know what we're cuttingout at this point, like we're
off the rails, it's fine Wellthis is new, but we did.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Then we went to the Pioneer Bar.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
So we went and got our Alaskan King Crab, the
Pioneer Bar, and this was one ofthe stops that you were really,
really excited for, because youhad heard that it was one of
the best dive bars in.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Alaska.
It's a great dive bar.
I stand by.
I stand by that.
What I don't stand by is that Ididn't know about their
signature shot.
Yeah, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Do you remember what it was called?
I thought it was a wet pussy, Ithought it was a.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It wasn't a duck fart .
Speaker 2 (49:48):
It was not a duck fart.
No, I have a video of us andwe're talking about it.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
It was this like we were sitting there in the bar
and this guy came in who wasgiving like some kind of local
tour.
Oh, like a walking tour, yes,and he was very loud behind us
in talking about the, the shot,the shot that we were supposed
to take.
So that was Sitka.
That was Sitka.
Got back on the boat.
Where'd we go from there?
Speaker 1 (50:12):
I think Haynes was next.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
No, I think next was the Hubbard Glacier Really the
next series of pictures I have.
We didn't have a port afterthat until like a couple days.
Oh, did we have another likeday at sea?
Yeah.
So let's stop this episode here.
Okay, we've gotten throughKetchikan and Sitka.
Yeah, so okay, so if you wantto reach out to us?
(50:37):
Yeah, on the socials are dmshpod email.
Dmsh pod at gmailcom uminstagram at dmsh pod.
I already said that, I'm justreiterating it um, and we'll put
links to our personal in theshow notes as well.
Great, and every everywhereelse also.
Join us on patreon, becausethat's if you're listening to
this and you're not on thepatreon.
And we'll put links to ourpersonal in the show notes as
(50:58):
well.
Great, and every everywhereelse Great.
Also join us on Patreon,because that's, if you're
listening to this and you're noton the Patreon and you want to
see video of this, all of theincredible professionalism going
on here.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Well, and we might edit out some of this for the
audio because of the cameo wewill.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Oh, definitely we will definitely we will.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Oh, definitely we will definitely.
But if you want to see thebehind the scenes and the off
the rails, yeah, join us off therails.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
All right, bye, thanks Bye.
Oh, that was weird.
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Okay, you have to leave that in.
Welcome back.
We are here to talk more aboutAlaska, part two.
If you made it through part one, great job.
Yeah, I mean, we don't know ifthis is going to be interesting
to literally anyone else on theplanet but us, but part of our
mom's last wishes were for us tospend time together and, if
nothing else, this is a chancefor us to get together and hang
(00:22):
out and talk.
I mean, we're talking into amicrophone, but it's mostly just
like she and I are hanging outand shooting the shit, which we
would be doing anyways.
So it's a way for us to fulfillwishes.
Have a great time, stayconnected.
Process grief, process grief.
And if anyone happens to listento it and like it, that's kind
of just a bonus.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
That's kind of where we're at with it.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yeah, that's kind of where we're at with it.
Yeah, so when we left off, wewere spending the night at a
gorgeous hotel in Vancouver, panPacific.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Sidebar.
If you did miss the lastepisode I think it was, it'll be
episode six is where we startedthe trip to Alaska and we got
you all the way through to wherewe get on the boat.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We haven't actually made it to Alaska yet.
We're still in Canada.
We're still in Canada boat.
We haven't actually made it toAlaska yet.
We're still in Canada.
We're still in Canada.
It will have the word Alaska inthe title, but we'll try to
find something to make it funnyLike can you believe we haven't
even made it to Alaska yet?
That's not good.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We'll workshop it.
It's okay, we can do whateverwe want.
We'll sort it out later.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
We'll workshop it.
Okay, we stayed the night atthe Pan Pacific.
At this juncture in the journey, at this juncture in the
journey, god, those views we arewaking up in Vancouver.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
We're ready to get on the ship.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
We're waking up in Vancouver.
I'm like, dear God, I have gotto wash this hair.
Canada deserved better.
Did you wash your?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
hair that morning I did.
I thought we didn't shower forlike the first week.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
No, we showered right before we got on the boat.
Okay, yeah, we showered thatday.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Spoiler alert.
We did go for a long time onthis trip.
Spoiler alert.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Cara and I are disgusting.
We are trash people.
I mean for classy ladies.
The white trash is strong in us.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I shower all the time at home.
I don't know why I went like awhole week without even body
rinsing on this trip.
It was so weird.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I shower all the time too, but I literally only wash
my hair once or twice a week.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I do loathe washing my hair.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
The washing part.
I don't like it's the dryingand dealing with it afterwards.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
For me it's the gagging in the shower thinking
about wet hair.
Oh yeah, Kara's got a like itis weird, insane.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I could literally just text her, which I have and
been like I saw a hair in thesink today and I thought of you
and she will.
If I send her a picture of ahair in the sink, good god, she
is going to like, like, throw upa little in her mouth, we're
done anyway.
Anyway, um, we both got cute.
(02:51):
We washed our hair showered.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Got cute showered got cute, realized we had no idea
how to get our bags on the boat.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, remember this was sort of like a little bit of
crisis well, no, they said justto put a tag on it and that
someone would come get them.
We didn't have any tags.
No, we care, is making this waymore dramatic than it actually
was?
I was worried about it.
We called and said hey, we'regetting on the seaborne boat
that's shipping out today.
Can you bring us tags?
And they said how many do youneed?
(03:19):
And we said six.
They said cool, they brought ustags, we put them on and then
they took our bags away, atwhich point Kara was like well,
I hope they get on the boat.
We don't know, we'll see.
I did have.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I will say I had very little faith in them delivering
our bags to the right places onthis entire trip.
I felt pretty good about it,except for my knife.
I'm happy, I am happy to reportthat when we did get on the
ship, our bags were in our room.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yeah fuck yeah, they were in our room.
They were.
They were in our room withchampagne and things waiting for
us like welcome snacks andthings.
Yeah, um, but we had to gobecause we were traveling from
canada to alaska, which is theUS, for those of you who are
real dum-dums For theuninitiated.
(04:10):
Yeah, we had to go throughcustoms before we got on the
boat.
Yes, and this is a good time tosay that I am a person who
always carries a pocket knife.
It is either in my purse or onmy person.
It started I couldn't even tellyou how many years ago my
(04:31):
grandfather, my mom's dad, whowe lived with for a good part of
my childhood, always carried apocket knife and I saw him use
it all the time and I justthought it was cool and you'd be
surprised how much I use it.
I use that thing almost everyday.
So I always carry a pocket knifeand I don't even think about it
(04:51):
unless I'm checking a bag in anairplane.
I put it in the bag and then,when I get to where I'm going, I
take it out of my bag and I putit either in my pocket or back
in my purse.
I did once fly to from SanFrancisco to San Diego and
forgot that it was in my purseand they didn't even catch it.
They just let me roll with it.
(05:12):
But then I got to San Diego andit's a sentimental pocket knife
.
I didn't want to, so I was allworried about them taking it on
the way home.
So I had to go to a post officeand mail it home to myself.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Yeah, I was not prepared for the level of
sentiment that you attached toyour pocket knife.
I love that knife so muchBecause when they took it from
you, I well, I forgot it was inmy purse.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Cause again, we weren't checking a bag on a
plane, we're just getting on aboat, but you still have to go
through security, us customs.
Uss Didn't think about it.
Should I have thought about it?
Yes, absolutely, Did I do that?
Surely not.
So when I went through she wasdetained, they sent my purse
through and were like Woo, woo,woo, yeah, well then they made
(06:00):
me do the whole you had to getlike patted down.
And oh, I got patted in so manyplaces.
I got a lot of action.
I'll say that um probed andthey took my knife and taped it
with like blue painters tape toa card and said we'll give this
back to you on the boat at theend.
(06:21):
Well, first they said we'llgive it back to you on the boat.
So I I was like, okay, cool,this is just a customs thing,
they'll give it back to me onthe boat.
Was I describe my level ofanxiety about my knife?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
You were extremely anxious, yeah, about the fact
that it had been taken from youand that you weren't sure you
were going to get it back.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
And part of the anxiousness was just my own
frustration with myself for notknowing better and putting it in
my big bag.
Yes, I felt like I had let myknife down.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
They eventually did release you, but did not release
the knife.
No, they kept the knife.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
They said we're going to give it to the stewards on
the ship and they will give itback to you.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
No, it wasn't the steward.
It was, was it the steward?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
no, it was like head of security or something.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Yeah, security guy.
Yeah, uh, nice english fellawhose name I can't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
He's kind of hot I think pretty much anyone with a
british accent who doesn't havelike gray teeth is hot.
Okay, that's fair.
He had deece teeth, deece teethand he was.
He was kind of in like an oldersalt and pepper zaddy way with
a british accent.
Yeah, okay, um, so we, we get.
They do, release me.
Our bags are nowhere to be seen.
(07:34):
We're trusting the universethat they're gonna get on all my
belongings and her preciousknife are just in the ether.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Yeah, but we, we see the boat.
She's pretty, she's tiny, soand we made it through.
They let us through.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
They let us through.
And did we stand in a line toget on the boat?
I don't know if you could evencall that a line we just like we
walked right up.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
They checked our ticket numbers.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We got and this was where dead mom scavenger hunt
was born.
Yes, because we were walkingonto the boat talking to.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
We sat well we sat in rows of folding chairs just for
a few minutes, like I don'tknow maybe like 10 or 15 minutes
, yeah, until it was time toboard, yeah.
And then we got in a veryquickly moving line, got on the
ship and luke and michael werestanding.
Our friends, luke and michael,our friends look at the hat luke
and michael.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Cheers to luke and michael.
They were standing in linebehind us also, I always clock
when there's a lovely gay coupleand I'm like that's who we're
gonna hang out with.
Those are our new best friends.
I had clocked them because theywere sitting next to us.
They had beautiful luggage,they had beautiful watches.
They looked so cute togetherand so they were.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I had already had a crush on both of them behind us
in line getting on, and that'swhen we started talking to them
and they were like oh, you knowdo you have you cruised seaborne
?
Are you cruisers?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
and we're like no, and apparently they're like they
stay on seaborne pretty hard.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, they're um locals, yeah, locals on the
seaborne adventure and they weremeeting up with some family
members and stuff.
And um, they were, and you,that's when the phrase dead mom
scavenger hunt was coined, whenI it flew out of my lips and I
shuddered in my soul.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It kind of wasn't planned, but it fits so
perfectly.
And, as I mentioned before, Ithink subconsciously I phrased
it like that because I didn'twant people to think they had to
walk on eggshells about it ortiptoe around about it.
But I also wanted a quick,concise way to say what we were
doing and why we were cruising,even though we said that we were
not cruise people.
It is a great way to describewhat we were doing.
(09:25):
Um, so we got to our room,which I was so excited when we
saw our room.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
It's, it was beautiful it was absolutely
gorgeous, spacious, had a littlesuite that had a balcony and a
separate little room forsleeping, like you could.
Yeah, there's a bedroom.
Yeah, there's a bedroom.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
A full bedroom, a giant ass walk-in closet, a mini
fridge, which they said we'llstock whatever you want, just
like write down on a piece ofpaper what you want.
Or just call and say I needmore root beer, or we really
like this one Sauvignon Blanc,which was what we did.
They had, yeah, champagnewaiting for us.
(10:03):
We popped the champagne, wetoasted mom, and I didn't know
this, but usually when, I guess,when a boat is ship, I should
probably say ship when it'spulling away from port, they
like play music and it'spartying, and I made caris sing
the canadian national anthem,which you did a great job at
(10:24):
such a kook we had been on theboat for maybe 15 minutes.
There was already a dude in thehot tub yes, there was one guy
who you could tell.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We were standing kind of up on top watching the ship.
We were like watching uswatching ourselves sail away.
Well, we wanted to go.
Yeah, we went to.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
We we had to explore the different levels of the ship
and we went to the top levelbecause we really wanted to get
all the views.
And we got a view of a dudealready in the hot tub, his wife
like noodle dancing next to himyeah, white people noodle
dancing.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
He clearly had done this before and he was an older
gentleman, as you, I think,mentioned um, so we nicknamed
him what do you call him?
Glenn, glenn, carl.
We thought he definitely wasthe kind of guy.
Well, I think we were.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
We were like what's his name?
And I said Glenn and you saidCarl at the same time.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
So we decided he was one of those guys that has two
first names.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Glenn Carl.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And then we're like that sounds like a band like
Glenn Carl and the Saggies.
Yeah, we were talking about hisballs.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Absolutely, glenn Carl and the Saggy Balls.
I don't think we posted apicture of Glenn Carl.
I gotta think I did, because itseems like something I would do
If we didn't, I will.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I'll find it's from far away.
You can't really.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Oh, my god, we forgot the aquarium.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Oh yeah, we did go to the aquarium in Vancouver as
well.
It was again like On the list.
That was on the list and we didtalk about that, I think in
episode one we did so circleback to episode one.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
If you want to hear about that, stanley Park is
amazing and the VancouverAquarium chef's kiss.
They're really doing the Lord'swork there.
This is a good time to say Karaand I are.
Neither of us are religious atall, so if you hear us say thank
God or doing the Lord's work,it is not because that's our
normal mode of operating.
(12:09):
Yeah, okay, oh, here's yousinging the national anthem.
Where is Glen Carl?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
in the studies.
I have a picture of Glen Carl.
Oh, there he is.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
There he is.
We'll put it on the socials.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
No, we'll just put it in.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Patreon.
Okay, he is in the hot tub.
His wife is sitting next to himalready, eye rolling.
Yeah, and do you think thatthis was him just kind of like
exerting his dominance over thehot tub like he's first man in?
He's like this is my hot tub,my man ball sweat is already in
here.
So if you guys want to get in,know that glenn carl has already
(12:45):
had his balls all up in there.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I feel like this was not his first rodeo and he was
like I am.
This is the only way to shoveoff is to be in the hot tub
while we, while we deport andhead on our way.
This is, this is the exitstrategy.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
This is the exit strategy um, he also seems like
he's just a hot tub guy.
Yes, I bet he has one at home.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I wish I was a hot tub girl.
I want a hot tub.
I don't give a shit about hottubs.
Oh my God, I love a hot tub.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Also, let's remember, this is in Vancouver, which,
even in July, which this was wasnot hot, no, it was chilly.
It was chilly, it was, and hewas just like in his little,
like man swimsuit yeah, feelinghim so.
So at this point in the trip weare afloat we are afloat and
we've seen our home for the nextweek, seven days yep, and then
(13:36):
what did we do?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
so it we were at sea for at least 24 hours before we
got.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yes, well, and they had that whole welcome.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Oh yeah, we did have to show up and um like get a
debrief about oh, the, the, ummuster we had to muster, yeah,
where your muster station is.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
This is just safety bullshit, but it was okay.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But I will say, you know, going back to last much we
hated the big cruise lines.
This was very small, it wasvery cozy, um, and I think we
got to.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
We just had to show up at the location and then we
got to go watch a video back inthe room oh yeah, remember we
didn't have to sit through awhole presentation and our
muster station was like thefancy, the fancy dinner place,
like the ballroom, yeah, so we.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
We showed up there.
They said, you could watch thison your yeah, it was really,
really at your leisure.
They made it very easy for us,yeah, and then we cruised along
um the I don't think we were inthe inside passage yet, but they
had music.
And oh yeah, when I took thatvideo, you went out on the
balcony and you were drinking aglass of wine and having like
(14:39):
sort of an emotional moment,which I did not realize at the
time.
Oh, but you scored it to musicand you scored it, that that
music on.
I did.
You put that music on.
I think we, I think we cansafely say that my music skills
while we were there were sus atbest, and I was videotaping you
out the window and I didn'trealize you were having like a
sad moment.
It wasn't a sad moment.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
It was just a pensive moment.
It was a emotionally chargedmoment.
Yeah, yeah, you can tell Iwashed my hair that morning.
That's some freshly washed hair, yeah, yeah.
So Did we go to?
We went to the fancy diningroom that night.
(15:21):
We did.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
We went to the fancy dining room and had a lovely
meal.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh, and remember, I and also the food is actually
good, really good on us.
Well, on this particularseaborne ship, we can't speak to
any of the other ones withouttrying them.
I would nudge, nudge, wink,wink.
No, no, we're gonna have tocheck.
I'm just gonna shut the fuckout.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I think that's a great call this is gonna be a
long road for you if I shut allthe way up I'm all the way up um
what was our first stop umketchikan.
So we cruise, cruise, cruise.
Super comfy bed, by the way,the whole the accommodations
like.
I cannot say enough good thingsabout how cozy and comfy the
(16:08):
sea ship was.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, and they gave us the nicest Helly Hansen.
Oh yeah, we had to go claim ajacket.
We had to go claim a jacket,they're so.
Is it a color I would pick?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
No, I would absolutely pick that color.
I love that color blue.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
You look great in that blue.
You do too.
It's just not a color.
It's not a color I wear a lot.
I'm a black and white and grayperson.
I'm wearing blue right now, butthey're like Helly Hansen, I
know is great ski wear.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, it's high end ski wear.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, and this thing was windproof.
Yeah, wayne proof, wayne pool,wayne proof no one named wayne
can touch you when you'rewearing this.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
My neighbor across the street is named wayne fuck
that guy.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
He's not touching you in this coat.
Yeah, they're very nice.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I sent a picture to Jeremy and he was like holy shit
, that's a really nice assjacket.
I'm like I know.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Also, I was like there's no fucking way I'm
wearing this while we're on thiscruise, because it was also, I
think, the reason they do this.
It's a high vis, blue, yep,easily identifiable, so if
you're at a port, of course, alot of people were like I'm
going to wear this new seabornejacket so you could clock the
(17:21):
people any place we stopped.
We were like, oh, there's aseaborne asshole.
There's another seaborne assholenot that they're ass, not that
they're assholes but I thinkthat's what some of the people
in the ports probably think.
Right, we weren't thinking wewere not going to wear them at
all they do say seaborne on themalso yeah, which I mean I'm
gonna wear it at some point andI'm gonna laugh my ass off if
someone is like oh seaborne hey,I wore mine uh to walk the dog
(17:42):
when I got home and sent you apicture.
I was like look at my jacket,yeah it, but it also because
everyone was wearing them.
It did look like we had joineda cult.
We did look like a cult.
A hundred percent looked like acult.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I think you, before we got our jackets, though even
you got a massage, because,remember, you woke up like the
morning we left vancouver ohyeah, I did something weird in
your neck.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I did um, I tried to.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I tried to work it out with a tennis ball that's
why I have all these pictures ofyou in your uggs and your.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
There's a there's a great video of me trying to work
it out on the the wall and Ilook like I'm owing on the wall.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
And that's yeah.
And then there's pictures of mewearing this level.
I love orange.
I do love an orange and blue.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
It's like a Denver Broncos situation, which I know
you don't give a shit about,right?
We also, because our first 24hours were at sea, learned some
things.
We learned that Kara is anexcellent card shuffler I am.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I am really good at shuffling cards.
I am not because we playedrummy.
We played rummy we.
We went to the and it wasreally funny because there's
this like beautiful observatorykind of room in the beginning
conservatory and it's very quietand everyone was in there
reading books and being superquiet, but we wanted to play
cards, so we went in there andI'm shuffling cards.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It was so loud.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I have a video, I think.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh no, I do too I think it's, is it posted?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
There?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
it is.
No, we'll post it.
It's really funny Cracking up.
Oh, I got a note under the doorthat said Christmas Stewart, we
have your knife.
This is not what it said.
I mean, it's called aconfiscated item receipt that
got slipped under the door, butit said that they have a pocket
knife, black pocket knife, dateof confiscation and that they
(19:26):
would give it back to me at theend of the trip.
Now, was there a picture of it?
No, did I know that?
It was my specific knife that Ilove?
no, I just had to say I had tohope and dream.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Needless to say, she was still spinning wildly out of
control about this knife.
I really was I think I thinkthere's like one formal dinner
night, yeah, per like, perpeople like they well, there's,
there's a sign there's themedevents.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, well, the, because the first night there
was an LGBTQ meetup.
Yes, and I was like we're goingto that Cause, that's where
we're going to find our people.
Yep, we went to the LGBTQmeetup, met all our new best
friends.
We saw Luke and Michael there.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
We saw Luke and Michael.
We met all their friends thatthey were meeting Alfredo,
alfredo, yeah.
So that was super fun.
And then I think that firstnight was the formal night.
It was I want to say it wasbecause I can see us in our
formal attire.
We also like sidebar.
We packed way too much shit forthis trip.
(20:32):
I brought stuff that I didn'twear or even think about wearing
.
I don't know what I wasthinking.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I wore most of my things except for some footwear,
cause we didn't well our formal, our formal wear.
We both wore a beautiful fancydress.
I did wear a gown and I wasgoing to wear some really cute
white boots with it and justwasn't feeling it and I was like
you know what I'm going to wear?
This formal gown with mycheckerboard vans.
And I wore my vans.
And Kara was like you know whatI'm going to wear?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
this formal gown with my checkerboard vans, and I
wore my vans, and Kara was likeyou know what?
I'm going to wear mycheckerboard vans too.
I was going to wear myflip-flops, but I did have vans,
of course, because who doesn'thave vans Right, everywhere they
go, sure.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
And I'm not a fancy shoe.
It's usually in the snow or therain.
It's got to be pretty serious.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, like if it's just flip-flop family, flip-flop
family.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
So we did, we wore our vans to dinner that night,
which looked fucking cute.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
It was fun.
It was really fun and the foodwas so good.
I think that was the night.
We had the fish with thepotatoes, the mashed potatoes,
that was good.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Oh, I am a sucker for a mashed potato.
Was that the night we got ropedinto having dinner with those
two ladies?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
that were like no, because I think.
No, you know it was.
Yeah, that was the night we metum faith, and I have their
names hold on okay because weneed to tip the hat to them.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Tip of the hat to them.
Well then, were the two ladiesfrom new Orleans that I loved um
, who are not faith and otherfaith.
I'm Facebook friends with bothof them, on or not Facebook, um
on the Instagram, and I don'tremember either of their names,
and I feel so bad now becausethey were so great.
I have it written downsomewhere Shoot.
(22:15):
Um, uh Shoot.
This is great podcasting rightnow.
Well, it's not important, I'llcut it out, but we happen to be
waiting for a table in thecrystal ballroom or whatever the
fuck it's called the fancierdinner place, and these ladies
(22:37):
in front of us were like oh,there's two of you, there's two
of us.
Do you guys want to have dinnertogether?
And this was maybe the first orsecond night and Kara and I
were both thinking, oh shit, arewe gonna get it?
Do you want to talk about momtrauma with these two?
That seems fun.
So we had dinner with them.
Um, one of them was datingshitty dudes we had to give
(22:57):
relationship advice.
The other one was talking to usabout how to be more godly.
She was recently divorced.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Remember, um, and she was like, oh, god, damn it.
This is such a bad podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
There was a lot of talk about jesus having plans
for us, and kara and I are justkind of kicking each other under
the table.
Yes, chris and Sandy were fromNOLA.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Oh, chris, and.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Sandy are the ones we love.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
From NOLA.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Yeah, yes, chris and Sandy.
Cheers to Chris and Sandy, ifyou guys are listening to this,
and I know Sandy for sure wasdefinitely into doing one for
her kids, and I think Chris wasas well doing a Dead Mom
Scavenger house.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yes, and then it was hope and roberta.
Hope was from camel, indiana,and roberta was from cincinnati
okay, and those were the galsthat we had dinner with on
formal night and it was I wantto say it was.
Was it hope or roberta that hadjust gotten divorced and she
was?
She gave us some of thefunniest quotes do you have them
?
I do, I'm okay, cara's reallygood at remembering quotes.
(23:58):
No, I have to write them down.
Oh sorry, she's good at writingthem down.
That's why I'm struggling,because I'm trying to find them.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Oh yeah, hope said um , I don't do pretend.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
I don't do pretend anymore.
Yeah, that was really cute,because it wasn't her husband a
doctor.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
And she was like I worked three jobs, while that
motherfucker she didn't saymotherfucker, but she was like
while he went through medicalschool and then he like cheated
on me and left me and nowanytime, like we're together, I
have to pretend like I like himand for the sake of the kids the
kids are all adults, by the way, the kids are all in their 30s
and she was like I don't dopretend anymore.
Yeah, also, I like to thinkthat we gave Hope like some
(24:37):
chutzpah, also because weweren't going to talk to her
about what Jesus wants her to do.
She also said I just got to gohome and do nothing Like when
she doesn't want to do something, she'll be like I just got to
go home and do nothing.
Pretend is not my thing anymore, which I love.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
We have all these funny quotes that I wrote down,
Like where does this one comefrom?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
When he touches your body, it's a miracle.
Where did that come from?
I don't know.
I wish I knew.
Though, when he touches yourbody, it's a miracle.
Oh, and then the bartender.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Well, we'll get there may we have another glass of
wine?
Yes, you may.
That'll be 10 bones.
Oh, that's right, 10 bones baby10 bones.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Um well, catch a can was our first step, and this is
this is what I told kara.
Anytime you want to see a place, we're not doing fucking
excursions if there's shit wewant to see.
And there was a couple placeswe wanted to see, but each of
those was one excursion throughthe boat, because then you have
to deal with a bunch of otherpeople.
I was like we'll just pop overto one, get in an Uber, pop over
(25:39):
to the other one.
We can bang both those out.
Bing, bang, boom.
In the time it takes people tojust get on that bus.
Yes, and I said, if you want tosee a place, what you do is you
get as far away from the cruiseas you can.
You go to the first dive baryou find, or just any like
(26:01):
sketchy looking dive bar, andyou talk to that bartender
because they're going to tellyou what's up and where you
should go and that's exactlywhat we did in ketchikan as soon
as we got off the boat.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
We did that everywhere did we go buy gloves
and hats first, or did we go tothe bar first?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
we went to the bar first we got off the boat we
went to the bar and that's whereshe told us about dolly's house
, dolly very famous, madamstopped in.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
What did we?
We stopped in, bought somedrink, drink tokens.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
We bought drink tokens we have to go back to
alaska.
We have so many drink tokensfrom so many bars for anyone who
doesn't know what a drink tokenis.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
In some places in the world you can buy like a little
wooden chip, like a poker chipthat has usually some kind of
marking on it.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It's like good for one drink.
It's like a gift card, but it'sa gift chip, yeah, it's gift
chip, yeah, token.
So I wonder if Dolly's housewas affected in that landslide
that happened right after weleft.
I do not know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I hope not, I doubt it.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Dolly's house went there.
Well worth it.
So great, amazing, madam.
I love madams.
She was also in cahoots.
She lived next door to thesheriff, or somebody.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Marshall, I don't know.
All of this is very like therewas so much information flying
at us all the time.
Yeah, and we were drinkingIrish coffees at like eight
o'clock in the morning.
Sure.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
We were.
We were drinking irish coffeesat like eight o'clock in the
morning.
Sure we were in vacation mode.
Don't judge us, yeah, um.
Don't judge me, don't, no, no,you're judging your own self and
I am I'm.
I don't like it and I won'thave it yeah, so that was really
fun.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Um walked around ketchikan.
I will say ketchikan was much.
Um we, we had breakfast at thatlittle hole in the wall.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Oh, that was where that guy was watching funny
videos beside us.
Oh yeah, he was so great and hethe server said he came there
every single day, usually hadthe same thing and remember the
servers were fucking with him.
They were like cranking him.
Yeah, they were putting likeshit in his coffee.
Yeah, it was cute.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
It was.
It was a cute little scene.
Yeah, it was a cute littlescene.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, and they gave us a walking map.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yep, we got a walking map Saw some totem poles, lots
of totem poles.
It was lovely, I think of likeall the weather we could have
gotten in Alaska.
It could have rained on us alot more than it did we did not
get.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
I love the rain, so I wasn't mad about it.
I don't love the rain.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Oh, it was the preacher's house.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
The madam lived next door to the preacher's house and
they were totally like coolwith each other.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
That's where I found out that, at Dolly's house is
where I found out thatprostitutes used to put silver
dollars up their hoo-hahsBecause that would like damage
the sperms and that's how they.
That was one of their firstforms of birth control.
Remember that.
I do remember that.
I thought that was one of theirfirst forms of birth control.
Remember that.
I do remember that.
I thought that was fascinating.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
The sign outside Dolly's house says where both
men and salmon come upstream tospawn, and it is a historic red
light tour in Ketchikan.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Highly recommend.
Very entertaining.
Highly recommend.
Very fascinating, interesting.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I mean Dolly God.
I love her.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, so Ketchikan, we were only there for a handful
of hours.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
We didn't have a whole lot of time.
Uh, we did.
Okay, so we did dolly's housewe.
We walked around those stairs.
We saw some streams.
Um, we went to yet another divebar.
Oh, that's where we catch a can, is where we discovered the
little pull tab things.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yes, I don't know what those are called.
Let us talk about the pull tabsin Alaska.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I don't know what they're called either, but and
where we played our first gameof bar Yahtzee and we I put
myself as JB Fletcher, you putyourself down as hot dog, cock
dog, rooster plate.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
What you used emojis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am Felicianow.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, you're Felicia, I think I'm still JB Fletcher.
Oh yeah, we tried on some greatclothes.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
The Pioneer, did you already get?
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Pioneer.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Cafe.
No, yeah, yeah, that's where wehad breakfast.
That was really good.
Pioneer Cafe.
Little greasy spoon hole in thewall.
Loved it.
The dude next to us, he lookedlike he was, I did take a
picture of him.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
He looks like he's 120 years old.
He was probably 40.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
What did we split?
Speaker 1 (30:09):
a BLT and a clam chowder and a chowder.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
BLT and a chowder picture of a ford ranger.
Hmm, shocker.
Yeah, it was a cute little town, it was a good time, um, and
then we went down to oh, thepotlatch which is a great dive
bar.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, that wasn't the first dive bar we went to, but
it was the last yeah, that wason the way back to the ship what
was the first one?
Do you remember uh?
Speaker 2 (30:33):
no, I don't.
I might have a picture of it Idon't either, but also that
bartender was.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
She was chef's kiss good information.
Okay, here's pictures of thatbar, but I don't either, but
also that bartender was Chef'sKiss Good, she was full of
information.
Okay, here's pictures of thatbar, but I don't know they're
not going to have their name inthere.
I mean, this is good podcasting.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I know we suck.
Sorry guys, I'll cut this outif I have to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
We can cut it out.
And you taught me Kitchiitchikkitchik constant style kitchen,
noble kitchipopo kitchikconstantinople.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
we don't know what it means, if you know what it
means, my grandma iris used tosay that growing up holla at us
and she, yeah, I would actuallylove to solve this mystery
because she would always say itgrowing up and I I never thought
to ask her what it meant.
She's gone now.
She passed um, i't know like 10years ago or something like
that, and I have Googled, I havetried to figure out what that
(31:24):
means.
Maybe I could ask ChatGPT, butit's all phonetic too.
I don't know what it would looklike spelled out, where the
language comes from.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
I remember hearing it as a kid too.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Was it gobbledygook?
I don't know.
I wonder if it's just like acanadian little like nursery
rhyme thing.
I don't know.
I feel like it had.
I don't know.
But she would always saybecause I remember hearing it as
a kid too kitchen opal, kitchen, popo, kitchen, constand and
opal and I feel like it's aeither a curse or some kind of
I'm gonna guess it's not a curseif grandma iris was just saying
(31:55):
it to you constantly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
She's like I hex you with my dying breath no.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
No I mean she wasn't hexing me, obviously, but like
some kind of incantation ofsorts.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
She was probably trying to cast the demons out of
you, probably she was alwaysvery worried about, like
hanky-panky and like saving yoursoul.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
Saving my soul in that way, yes, yeah.
Again, we'll cover ourreligious trauma in a different
episode that will be a differentepisode so.
Ketchikan was a success.
Yes, got back on the ship.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
When we were leaving for dinner that night to go to.
I don't think we had dinner atthe Fancy Pants place that night
, I think we went to.
Oh sorry, we forgot to talkabout the pull tabs.
Yeah, we got to finish, pulltabs Okay.
(32:44):
So in Alaska you can buy theselike little lottery tickets, but
they have like physical littletabs on them that you pull open
and they have like a verysatisfying sound that's like
right, well, and you're notallowed to gamble in the bars
there right, because we wereplaying yahtzee on my phone and
we were trying to use like welearned in sitka when we know we
learned in sitka when we pulledout the deck of cards remember,
yes, but also remember we werejust playing Yahtzee with like
straws and they were like no,you can't do that yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
So we got in trouble.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
The pull tabs are so fun.
What are they like?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
They're a dollar a piece or something like that, or
a quarter a piece, I don't knowwhat they are.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Cheap as shit.
But then we kept winninganother you know dollars worth.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
We didn't ever win any money.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
But we won many more pull tabs.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Allegedly you can.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You know what we won?
We won hours of entertainment.
It was very entertaining.
They should have them here inthe US.
So fucking fun.
I'm glad they don't.
I'm glad they don't.
Would you just be a hardcorebeer donkey it would be a bad
scene.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I'll just say I liked them a lot and it's.
I like them a lot too to likesidle up to the bar and buy a
bunch we'll play 20 worth ofpull tabs and they just hand you
like a thousand of them.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It was so fun.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
We settled into the culture very quickly I could
live in alaska so easily.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Um, I don't think I would even mind the dark times.
You would not be able tosurvive the dark times, nope I
barely survived december andjanuary yeah in california kara
is far more solar powered than Iam yes, I am I'm lunar powered
yes, I need the sun, I need like.
Even right now it's raining andI'm mad, oh I love it, the like,
gray skies, rain that is my jam.
(34:14):
Um, so we left ketchikan.
We got back on the boat.
Kara was a little worried aboutmissing the boat always in
forever, because she's aworrywart.
Um, and we didn't go to thefancy pants restaurant that
night.
We went to the colonnade, didwe?
Yes, um, and that was the nightthat we were about to leave and
(34:36):
I was like we got to turn offthe music in our room before we
go.
Where the fuck is that musiccoming from?
And you started filming me andI could not figure out why and I
wanted to capture wherever themusic was coming from, because
it was really weird.
I looked for that music for fiveminutes, could not figure it
out.
At one point opened therefrigerator as if it would be
coming from in there.
(34:57):
Like, looked everywhere, wefinally figured out your girl's
a dum-dum.
It was playing from my phonewhich was in my back pocket so
of course it was following youaround.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Yes, yeah.
And then you called me later.
You and reina called me on thephone and accused me of
orchestrating that whole thing.
You guys thought you set me up.
You were like so did you at anypoint start recording because
you knew that it was coming?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
well, I didn't I didn't think that and I was
showing right into the video andlisten here, bitches.
No, I didn't think that untilshe she put that in my ear.
I was showing her the videobecause I was like, look, your
girl's a dum-dum.
And she was like, oh, bitch,cara, like set you up.
I was like, no, she, yourgirl's a dumb, dumb.
And she was like, oh, bitch,cara, like set you up.
I was like, no, she didn't.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I did not set you up.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
She's not that devious.
I'm not that clever.
And Raina was like oh she 100%did, so I had to call you
immediately to know if you hadset me up.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I was so offended that you thought I set you up.
I was cracking up you littleproud that I thought you were
that devious, or possibly thatdevious.
No, I just I'm just not like.
I just I'm so literal, like I'mnot even sarcastic, barely ever
, because it just doesn't.
It's not the way my brain works.
Like I just wouldn't think ofdoing that to you.
Oh, it was.
I was just trying to documenteverything because that was the
(36:12):
plan.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
I felt so stupid we were going to try to document
anything that might beinteresting.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah, so yeah, just for the record, that was not my
orchestration.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
You guys can see it in the Instagram highlights.
I was just as confused as youwere.
I took so many pictures of theAlaska sunset, which is at
midnight.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
God, that was a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I loved it I took so many pictures of the sunset at
midnight.
Oh, here's one that you musthave taken, because it's just a
picture of the railing of ourveranda.
That's how you know, kara tookit.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
That's how good I am, folks.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Was.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Hanes, our next stop.
Next was Sitka, I believe.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Oh yeah, bear time.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
We had to get on one of those little.
What are those called?
It's like a little tiny ferrythat you take.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yeah, it's a ferry that you take from, because one
of the other nice things aboutSeabourn we're not sponsored.
We would love to be, we're not.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Even though they we might be by the time you listen
to this.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
God willing, even though willing, um, they, even
though they are a small ship,there are certain small towns
that just don't have a dock thatcan really accommodate them.
So you do have to take a littlelike it's not a zodiac, but
it's not far off um to theirtiny little baby docks and cares
(37:36):
.
Right now, care is trying tofigure it out.
She's asking are you asking drsister?
No, no, no, google, she'strying to figure it out.
She's asking Are you asking DrSister?
No, no, no, google, she's justGoogling it.
Sitco, now we're getting tobear time.
Guys, which is what A tender?
Tender is the night.
Tender is what?
The little tiny Tender?
No, that's Secret Lover.
Tender lovers, that's what weare.
(37:58):
Tried so hard to hide, the waywe be.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
That's secret lovers.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
That's not right.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Tender lovers is what it is now in my brain.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
I'll never get out of there, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
But it is called a tender.
Yeah, as in, tender lovingfeeling.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
I was so excited about the grizz.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yes, so we had, there were, several things that we
could do in Sitka.
Sitka was gorgeous All thesetiny little islands around it.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Well, even when we were, when we knew we were going
to Alaska, I had requisitionsof Kara had things she wanted to
do.
I had things I want to do, andtwo main things that I wanted to
do was bear time, grizzly beartime.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
see some grizz and big birds of prey time yep, I
wanted a raptor rescue centerand bear time, yep, but and
sitka was both of those wedidn't want to have to choose
one or the other and they didsort of overlap, I believe if
you, if you went through thetour part, you went through the
tour, yeah, which is I was likebing bang, boom.
We're gonna do both of them wehad this great plan that we were
going to show up in Sitka andUber wherever we wanted to go.
Spoiler alert Heads up Big fatred warning for anyone going to
(39:05):
most, I think, most places inAlaska.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, all the tiny places we went, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You probably can't Uber wherever you want to go
cars.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Not a lot of cars.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
In the morning we went to the first restaurant we
could find, got an irish coffeeand asked the bartender how do
we get?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
how do we?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
get out here and she's like like we're like are
there cabs here?
How do people get places?
And she was like there are twopeople that drive places in this
town yeah here's this one guy.
I highly recommend call him, hewill come get you do you
remember his name?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
rob?
Speaker 2 (39:43):
is rob, right, I don't remember his name.
I wish I did, but he he showedup in like a nondescript van and
was like hop in, yeah, and wewere like cross our fingers and
I mean luckily we're old enoughto where no one's trying to
traffic us.
Like no one cares.
I'm not sure anyone wants this.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But at this point, this is when I was really
wishing I had my knife, because,you just never know, I like to
have my knife on me.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
We also had very limited cell phone coverage.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
We had zero cell phone coverage.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Well, we did in town, because we did call them and
get connected, yeah, I guessthat's true.
What's his name?
Whatever his name was, we'llcall him Jason or something.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Let's call him Rob, because I think that might
actually be his name.
So Rob came and picked us upand I didn't get like a serial
killer vibe, no, no, he wassuper cool.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Him and his wife were from Sitka and they had a
bakery out in Arizona where theyspent their summers Right or no
Alaskan winters they spent outin Arizona and then they would
come back to Alaska for thesummer.
And he drove around and I don'tknow what she did, but I think
she baked, maybe I don't know,but yeah, they like specialized
(40:52):
in scones or something like that, I don't know.
Anyway, so he drove us out tothe Fortress of the Bear and
said, okay, I got to go back totown and pick up some other
people.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
I'll come back in like a I'll be back in 45
minutes to take you guys back totown.
I think he told us more than 45minutes.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
He said 45 minutes an hour.
Oh, okay, something like that.
That's how long we were at theFortress of the Bear.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Time is loose in Alaska it's loose.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
And we it's loose and we had zero cell phone
reception out at the fortress ofthe bear so no, we're just so.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
We visited the fortress of the bear.
Fortress of a bear is a placewhere it is all rescue bears who
can't be in the wild, yep, butthere was the first thing we saw
which made me cry because itwas so cute.
It was two sister, two bearswho are sisters, who were just
in the water tackling each otherand having so much fun just
(41:41):
playing, playing, playing.
And I was like, look, kara,it's us in bear form and I
totally cried because it wasvery cute.
Um, when we're both, kara and Ilive, we have like black bears
are a dime a dozen they'realways all over the place yeah,
there was one in your garage yes, there was one in my garage
yeah, we have a lot of blackbears.
We don't have brown bears and wedon't have the grizz, because
(42:03):
california sucks and we used tohave brown bears here, but, um,
I shouldn't say california sucks, humans suck, and we got rid of
the brown bears here, um, butwe saw major grizz.
We saw those cute brown bearsisters.
I tried to follow thatveterinarian down because I
(42:24):
wanted a closer look I almostmade it yeah, somebody was the
owner.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
The owner was like ushering his buddy down there to
take photos.
Who?
Speaker 1 (42:33):
was a former the bears former veterinarian and I
was just like if I just walkdown with them, like I own the
joint, like maybe I'll get farenough to where they can't let
me walk back by myself yeah, shehas zero regard for the rules,
just FYI.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
I do, and Kara is a rule follower and I just shook
my head and watched her getrebuffed when the guy was like
almost made, like what are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
I made it all the way down and he was like, are you
with him?
And the vet's like, nope, she'snot with me.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
He was like you gotta go.
They made you turn around andgo back.
All right, it was worth a shot.
Hey, I shot my shot.
Yeah, she just wanted to get alittle bit closer I wanted to
get so close to that cute bear.
So and it was a giant grizzlyand it was so fucking cute so we
got our fill of the bears, andthen we went out front and sat
down and waited for rob to comeget us.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
There was a moment when I was like Rob's never
coming back, Like he's, we'vebeen abandoned, but we live here
now Like in reality.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
We only waited like 10 minutes out front and then up
he rolls in his little minivan,yeah, and slid the door open
for us and we hopped in and wentback to town and he dropped us
off at at the the raptor centercenter.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Yeah, I will tell you .
I did check when we got in thecar the first time to make sure
there were handles on the insideof the door.
Oh good call, because that wasa ted bundy trick.
In his little like gold car hewould like be like, help me with
my boat.
I have a cast on.
And then, once he got in, thechicks would realize that the
(44:00):
the doors did not have handleson the interior.
So I did check for handles onthe interior okay, so you are as
paranoid as I am I, I'mcautious and I listen to enough
true crime.
That, and I think that's why Ilisten to true crime, because I
want to know what to look for.
I'm not going to get trappedinto any of those old tropes.
(44:20):
And I didn't have my knife, soI was on extra alert.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Okay, and he was very cool.
If you ever go to Sitka and youneed a ride, we have nothing
but great things to say aboutthe one guy that did that.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
One guy is doing a hell of a job.
Yeah, it was a red minivan.
Ask yeah, it was a red minivan.
Ask for the bakery guy.
Yeah, bakery guy in a redminivan.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
That's all we can tell you.
So he dropped us at the RaptorCenter.
We loved it.
We walked around, we checkedthat out.
It was so cool, the Raptor.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Center made me so happy we saw we have bald eagles
where we live.
But if ours are like a foot anda half tall, the ones there are
two and a half feet tall,they're easily 50 bigger than
our bald eagles.
And I have only where we live.
(45:04):
I have only in my life everseen a golden eagle once in in
the wild and they had thisgolden eagle.
Oh, he was so beautiful.
His name was oliver, I believe.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
I think you're right, yeah, yeah, I took a little
stroll down a nature path andthen we left and bakery driver
gave us Rob gave us directionshow to walk back through like a
park.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It was like a national park.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
We got to walk back through like a little pristine
kind of park area.
Back to town, where we weresupposed to find, we got the
holy motherfucking jesus.
Okay, what?
Speaker 1 (45:46):
just happened.
We have a glass table.
No, it just slid to the left.
You got to go on the other side.
Oh my god, how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
no, you must have been like weirdly I haven't done
anything.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
I don't think we can edit this out.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
We're not going to edit this out, no well I mean,
we'll edit out for the audio,because this is bad audio.
Okay, but can you, can youremove the tablecloth over there
, so that we can at least seehow even it is on that side?
Speaker 1 (46:11):
oh, let me look uh, you need to come yonder your way
a little bit that looks good,okay, yeah okay anyway, I don't
know how that happened.
Wow, I mean the coffee tablesucks anyways.
Okay, it's fine, so we're back.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
He gave instructions through the nature walk back to
he also told us um, to go backto town where they would be
blocking the streets off forlike a little street fair kind
of situation oh yeah, and hetold us to go to this one
particular food truck that had,oh, that crab place, the last
thinking yeah, it was.
No, it was the um the bun.
(46:49):
What, what, oh my god?
What was the bon me place?
No, it wasn't by me.
It was like the little um we,we ate a bun that was filled
with some kind of seafood withlike a sauce.
That was a banh mi.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
It was like a Vietnamese bun.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
That was not banh mi.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
I'm saying it was banh mi.
Okay, hold on Adjacent yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
I'm going to find it.
Speaker 1 (47:11):
But we went to this little black food truck.
I'm sure there's a picture.
It was a snow crab roll.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
It was a crab roll, crab roll.
Yeah God, what is wrong with me?
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Topped with a secret sauce and seaweed powder on warm
local brioche.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
That was so fucking good.
I wished we split one, and Iwished Sitka's world famous.
Yeah, I wished that we hadgotten more.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
A whole one I didn't want, because I also wanted just
regular Alaskan king crab.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
Which we then did go find there was a tiny little
alleyway where it was calledfisherman's alley fisherman's
alley I got picks.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Very cool alaskan king crab is beautiful to look
at with their big sexy legs.
Yes, oh, that's what we weretalking about yeah, where I live
on the coast in northerncalifornia we have a crab season
.
We get crab a lot and we getDungeness crab, which Bonnie
also lives here and she lovedDungeness crab Dungies, as I
(48:04):
like to call them.
We like to get them live justoff the boat.
Bonnie did love to murder acrab.
She loved a crab murder.
Yeah, I love a crab murder too.
There's a way to do it humanely.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
She introduced me to crab in my early 20s because I
never ate it growing up.
And then one of her favoritestories to tell was about the
time that jeremy and I, when wewere dating yeah, I think we
weren't married yet, we werejust dating and he came out to
her place with me and we stayedand she cooked us crab and he
ate two whole crabs incredible,and he was.
She was just like blown away.
Blown away that he ate thatmuch crab and it was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
I mean Dungeness crab , which, which was the point of
this Alaskan king crab fresh inAlaska, is amazing in a
side-by-side comparison of justjust preference fresh Alaskan
king crab versus fresh Dungy.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
I'm going to go dungy , it's a personal preference.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
It is a personal preference.
I would go dungeness also.
It's like Coke versus Pepsi.
I suppose it is a very personaldecision.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, okay, so we went still in Sitka.
Yeah, maybe we might have tohave several episodes of this
trip.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Oh yeah, it was like 11 days long.
I don't know what we're cuttingout at this point, like we're
off the rails, it's fine Wellthis is new, but we did.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Then we went to the Pioneer Bar.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
So we went and got our Alaskan King Crab, the
Pioneer Bar, and this was one ofthe stops that you were really,
really excited for, because youhad heard that it was one of
the best dive bars in.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Alaska.
It's a great dive bar.
I stand by.
I stand by that.
What I don't stand by is that Ididn't know about their
signature shot.
Yeah, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
Do you remember what it was called?
I thought it was a wet pussy, Ithought it was a.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It wasn't a duck fart .
Speaker 2 (49:48):
It was not a duck fart.
No, I have a video of us andwe're talking about it.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
It was this like we were sitting there in the bar
and this guy came in who wasgiving like some kind of local
tour.
Oh, like a walking tour, yes,and he was very loud behind us
in talking about the, the shot,the shot that we were supposed
to take.
So that was Sitka.
That was Sitka.
Got back on the boat.
Where'd we go from there?
Speaker 1 (50:12):
I think Haynes was next.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
No, I think next was the Hubbard Glacier Really the
next series of pictures I have.
We didn't have a port afterthat until like a couple days.
Oh, did we have another likeday at sea?
Yeah.
So let's stop this episode here.
Okay, we've gotten throughKetchikan and Sitka.
Yeah, so okay, so if you wantto reach out to us?
(50:37):
Yeah, on the socials are dmshpod email.
Dmsh pod at gmailcom uminstagram at dmsh pod.
I already said that, I'm justreiterating it um, and we'll put
links to our personal in theshow notes as well.
Great, and every everywhereelse also.
Join us on patreon, becausethat's if you're listening to
this and you're not on thepatreon.
And we'll put links to ourpersonal in the show notes as
(50:58):
well.
Great, and every everywhereelse Great.
Also join us on Patreon,because that's, if you're
listening to this and you're noton the Patreon and you want to
see video of this, all of theincredible professionalism going
on here.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Well, and we might edit out some of this for the
audio because of the cameo wewill.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Oh, definitely we will definitely we will.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
Oh, definitely we will definitely.
But if you want to see thebehind the scenes and the off
the rails, yeah, join us off therails.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
All right, bye, thanks Bye.
Oh, that was weird.
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Okay, you have to leave that in.
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