August 26, 2025 • 31 mins
Success hides pain well—until divorce rips the mask away. What happens when achievement no longer protects you?
You’ll Learn
- The hidden cost of performing strength during marriage.
- Why high-achievers feel the crash harder in divorce.
- How to rebuild identity without the mask.
💎 Tired of hiding behind “I’m fine”? Join A Different D Word
and heal without needing to perform strength.
High-achieving women often wear success like armor. But when divorce cracks the surface, all the grief, shame, and exhaustion underneath finally spill out. This episode explores why high-achievers struggle so deeply after divorce, what the nervous system reveals about burnout, and how to release the mask once and for all. Freedom isn’t about pretending—you’re allowed to be seen.
Divorce recovery for high-achieving women means dropping the mask and finding safety in being real.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn
Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)
Instagram: (@coachtiffini)
On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com
A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.
Post Divorce Road Map : 21 Days of Journaling
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You can have every degree, every promotion, every
glowing review and still bebleeding out on the inside.
High-performing women know howto win the game, but that
doesn't mean you're free.
Being the strong one doesn'tprotect you from trauma love.
It just makes you better athiding it.
(00:22):
And maybe you've noticed it toothat you can solve impossible
problems for everyone else, butthe one thing you can't outrun
is yourself.
Hi love, welcome to Dear DivorceDiary, the podcast helping
divorcees go beyond talk therapyto process your grief, find the
(00:44):
healing you crave and buildback your confidence.
I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
In a few minutes, the ladiesand I are going to share the one
(01:13):
question that instantly tellsus if a smart woman has been
using her achievements to outrunher own grief.
Don't feel attacked, we're hereto support you.
Later in the episode, we'regoing to talk about the silent
burnout tax you've probably beenpaying for years and how to
start shifting that and what todo with it.
And, before we wrap, we aregoing to tell you the real
reason that smart and highachieving women avoid deeper
(01:34):
healing and spoiler it's notabout a fear of failing.
It's something entirelydifferent.
Let's chat.
Hi ladies, good morning, goodmorning.
Anybody know any smart women,smart high?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
high, high, achieving high performing.
We're surrounded by them.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I love that, yeah, and so it's interesting right to
be someone who is able to solveso many problems and be so high
performing and then reallystruggle to capture the
vulnerability or the ability toput that load aside to do your
(02:19):
own deep work, right?
We see this with women a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I resonate with this so much because in my prior life
I was a corporate executive and.
I ran companies and you know Ioversaw teams and I always felt
like you know I was a goodmentor, you know I was a great
coach to the people who work forme and the women that work for
me, and I don't know there wassomething that just didn't
translate to my personal life.
So I always felt like in thecorporate world I was a badass,
(02:43):
I was very high achieving, butin my personal life I was a hot
mess.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I think a lot of women struggle with this, I know
, you know that feels relatablein the sense that, as a
professional, I have a therapistand it feels like maybe I'm not
supposed to struggle so muchpersonally, and I also feel like
there's an image I've alwaysneeded to uphold, especially
when I became a business owner.
I think that felt like morepressure that I had to uphold a
(03:11):
particular image in order to,you know, make sure people felt
safe, right to use my services.
And I also think about some ofthe women that have an enormous
amount of pressure on them toperform and not show cracks,
right.
Think about, like our kids'teachers, you know, or our
(03:36):
medical professionals, you knowwhat I mean Like there are just
so many smart, high-performingwomen who are problem solvers
for our communities and thenfeel like they can't crack.
You know other therapists,doctors, people who really,
really feel an enormous amountof pressure to maintain a
particular I don't know is itimage or is it image or is it
(04:00):
something else but high level ofresponsibility, right, and they
feel like they cannot showcracks.
And I think that must be sopainful and challenging to be
going through something aspainful as divorce and feel like
you can't feel, you know like,you just can't.
(04:20):
You have to hide it all.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I feel like there's shame too, in being the woman
who has all the answers foreverybody else but you don't
have them for yourself.
So you know, when I was incorporate, I was in an industry
that was very male dominated andit was very, very high pressure
and high stress.
Like it was nothing for me tohave employees go to the ER for
chest pains monthly every othermonth, just from the sheer
(04:46):
pressure of it, right?
So it's like these women alwayslook to me as the person to be
the calm to their storm.
Anytime they had a really crazymeeting or they had a phone
call that they needed to takethat was insane, or whatever, I
was always the one that would bein the room with them.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And so being able to speak to other women?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, right.
So then, like when I turn itaround in my personal life and I
feel like I'm floundering andagain I have answers for
everybody else but not me, Iknew that I had a huge mental
block there, like I was notseeing the things that were
preventing me from movingforward in my own life, like I
was not self-aware enough withmyself.
Yeah, and that sucks when youhave so much intuition with
other people, but when it comesto you, it's like a blood
(05:27):
doesn't translate, yeah Right.
So there was a lot of shame andconfusion for me around that
Like am I as smart as I think Iam?
Because you know, my personallife is kind of a hot mess right
now.
You know, like my dating life,like I'm picking all the wrong
guys and like doing all thewrong things and creating all
this unnecessary stress formyself and I just I could not
(05:48):
get the hell out of my own wayin my personal life at all.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I think that just so demonstrates like we're not
supposed to heal in isolation,we're supposed to heal in
community, we're supposed toheal in connection like we
literally cannot recoverelements of our story and our
lived experience and our painunless it's done in deep
connection.
And so it's so beautiful how youknow so many people are able to
(06:13):
hold that space for otherpeople, but like we try to do it
without that for ourselves.
Also, I know, joy, youmentioned this earlier but that
idea that like we can't thinkourselves well right, we can't
strategize ourselves well, it'sjust not a thing we have to feel
safe and that's a layer ofshame in and of itself, because
(06:35):
if we have that hype performing,there's nothing that we can't
do because we're badass women,but then we can't do this.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It's like a level of shame all on like failure,
failure.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's such a lie we tell ourselves, like profound
lie.
We tell ourselves.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So I always find it so interesting that the women
who gravitate to us in ourprogram are women who are really
badass but also who arecaregivers.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
The nurses, the teachers the therapists.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
you know these women who it's their job not only to
provide for their childrenemotionally, but then also to
provide for people in their owncommunity in some sort of a
capacity.
So it's like we attractcaregivers and I feel like
there's a lot of shame that weunprogram from them, saying like
it's okay that you can care foreveryone else, but you really
need to start putting yourselffirst, I think that's a foreign
(07:33):
concept yeah.
It's hard to let yourself becared for.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So let's, let's dig into the question, right, that
tells us about the ways in which, right, a smart woman, a high
performing woman, has been usingher achievements to outrun her
own grief.
Right, and let's just like peelback the cover on that.
So I want you to take a deepbreath, I want everybody to just
sort of drop into your body,right, and I want you to
(07:57):
consider this question.
I'm going to do it too, rightnow.
Right, we're all going to do itwith you, all.
Right, if you weren't achieving, fixing or helping, who would
you be?
If you weren't doing somethingfor someone else, who would you
(08:33):
be?
And I just want you to noticewhat that brings up in your body
.
I want you to notice what kindof thoughts it brings up.
(08:53):
I had a girlfriend this wasyears ago now, grace was
probably four, so six years agoat least and she said to me you
know, if you did nothing todayother than just be a person, you
would be enough.
And I was like what?
Like what Does not compute,right?
So as recently as six years ago, I still very much felt like I
(09:19):
had to achieve or perform inorder to feel like I was I don't
know valuable at the end ofthat day you know, the idea of
being being supported, beingprovided for like that all still
felt really foreign to mynervous system, really
interesting, and it is a nervoussystem training, right, like
(09:42):
our nervous systems are trainedin certain patterns and it's
it's really pattern based.
And so I think it's a bigquestion what comes up for you,
ladies?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I just remember I could have the messiest morning
with my daughter, you know, whenshe was younger, like trying to
get her to school.
I remember one morning she wastrying to eat her cereal in the
car line and spilled milk allover the front of her uniform
Like it was disgusting.
But like mornings like that,right, where it's just like,
yeah, anything that can go wrongdid go wrong.
And when I would pull up to myoffice building I'd have to take
(10:15):
a break, or a big breath rather, because the second I walked
through the door I was ondisplay and the way that my
staff studied my emotionalreactions to everything.
I was under a microscope allthe time because if they didn't
feel safe in my reaction, theydidn't feel safe to be there.
(10:35):
And that is a tremendous amountof pressure when you're on stage
and you feel like everyone islooking at you.
And I learned how to be thatway in other parts of my life,
right, I learned to be like thatwith my quote unquote friends,
you know, on dates, even with myfamily, no, I'm fine,
everything's fine.
You know, I live 600 miles away.
Nobody's going to know if I'mnot fucking fine.
(11:00):
There's only a couple peoplethat I can fly under the
bullshit radar, with which oneis my mother.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
She knows I'm not fine.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
She knows I cannot yeah no, there's certain people
that I can't front with right.
I'm the other one, yeah.
Dawn definitely, and I really,really hated that when we first
started working together,because not only will Dawn call
you out in a team meeting andsay, hey, you're not okay today,
no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So then, who are we right when we're not fixing and
I know you know this is forevery woman who's listening to
Explore right now right, but weget so attached to roles as
identity, smart, accomplished,achieving, caregiving, and so
who are we if we're not fillinga role and we're not filling a
(12:00):
need?
Who?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
are we?
I mean, over the course of myjourney in coaching, I've
learned that it's so importantfor me to put myself first, and
so I have learned to take a stepback and be able to ground and
practice different modalitieswith myself, because I know that
if I'm not feeling okay inmyself and my body like, I can't
do the work that I need to doas a healer and a coach.
(12:26):
So, to be that conduit.
Yeah, yeah, and I think beforeI was just surviving in
corporate and that's why it feltso unauthentic to me, because I
just felt like every single daywhen I got up and I put on my
heels and I walked into thatoffice, I was playing a role.
There was nothing real about itand anything that I achieved
(12:46):
over the course of my careerwhich was a ton never meant as
much as it should have, becauseit just never really resonated
with me.
It was all part of the biggerscreenplay all part of the
bigger screenplay.
Yeah, survival.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, I think we've really like, culturally right,
lost track of what it is to bewoman, feminine, right.
We've gone into this like we'velearned.
I feel like we've adapted andlearned how to celebrate boss,
babe, culture, and like I'mgrateful, right, I'm grateful at
least that we did learn how tocelebrate that.
No-transcript.
(14:13):
We're meant to feel, we'remeant to be connect, sit process
, you know, hang out with eachother, be connect, sit process,
you know, hang out with eachother, commune, and and I think
for most women there's not a lotof space and time for all of
that and it's it's a massivething to grieve and it's a
massive thing to understand thatit's a it's actually affecting
(14:33):
your divorce recovery and it'sfascinating to consider, right,
without community, without somestillness, without some
femininity, recovering fromdivorce is not fully available,
and how do you drop into yourfemininity when everything
you're doing is taking care ofyour children, working the
(14:54):
corporate job and having allthese other people look at you
because you are a badass in theworkplace?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
right, me and my best friend we joke about this all
the time and I know that peopleprobably like.
If you look over the course ofmy life, you probably assume
that I'm like this hardcorefeminist, and in some ways I am
right, but also also.
I want to dress in a dress andbake pies and shit Like
literally.
I feel like I'm very proud of,like all the lengths that we as
women have gone to for you know,different rights that we have,
(15:20):
yeah, but sometimes her and Ijoke and laugh and we're like
some bitch took it too farbecause we just want to be we
just want to hang out I meanlike.
so that's what it is and I feellike too, like women are
designed to be, all of thesethings and softness, and I
always remember, like my dad issomebody that's followed my
corporate career for a long timeand he was always my biggest
cheerleader and he would see mein meetings, you know, and he
(15:42):
would see how I worked and youknow he would say to me Tiffany,
you understand, when you walkinto a room with all of these
other men that you have thebiggest balls in the room and it
.
It would crack me up, but itwas the truth.
It was the truth because Icouldn't afford to falter or
embrace any type of femininityor show emotion or do anything
that was going to make peoplelook at me as weak.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, and I think that that happens a lot also,
like as women are going throughlitigation in the divorce
process, right, like show noweakness, yeah, be tough, be
strong, all of that.
But I think that it's it'skilling us.
Right, it was killing me.
It was killing me, the hustlegrind.
Yeah, I think that there were alot of things that helped me
(16:25):
drop into femininity more overthe years.
Yoga was one of them, and Idon't mean like power yoga right
, I'm not talking about vinyasalike power flow, I'm talking
about the slower forms of yoga,and it's funny when you talk to
women about trying yoga whenthey've not done it before, and
they're usually like smart, highachieving women who are trying
(16:47):
to outrun their problems.
They're like I hate yoga, it'stoo slow, it's too boring.
Or if they do like yoga, it'slike fitness yoga.
You know what I mean, butthat's not what I mean.
I mean like slow flow, hathabreath, focused yin.
You know like mean, but that'snot what I mean.
I mean like slow flow, hathabreath, focused yin.
You know like types of yogathat call for stillness and
(17:08):
breath, and I think that that isa really deeply valuable way
for women to start moving in thedirection of femininity and
still be achieving, if you will.
You know what I mean, becauseyou could go to a yoga class and
you can move your body and youcan be productive in, you know,
burning a calorie, moving yourbody, supporting your lymphatic
system and your nervous system,but be really connecting with
(17:28):
your breath in the class and ifthat feels hard to you, it's
probably the thing you need todo.
So yoga was probably one of themost profound things that
really helped me start to shiftinto my feminine body more and
to be more in touch with mynervous system.
I think EMDR for sure helped.
Beach walks helped right, likeconnecting in nature.
(17:50):
I think when we get outside ofthe walls of the buildings we
live in, we're able to capturesome perspective more right,
because when we're constantly inthe four walls of the buildings
, we're in it really.
I mean number one, from afrequency perspective,
vibrationally right, takes usout of flow.
And number two, we start toreally like fall into this lull
(18:13):
that, like what goes on in thewalls is, is it is the thing
right, and it's it's not thething, it's, you know, it's the
world right, it's the world,it's not the creation you know,
like.
So I think connecting in bignature is very, very helpful for
being able to reconnect withbeing, and so I think being
community too right.
(18:34):
Like you know, y'all have heardme talk about post-divorce and
like the duplex I lived next tomy girlfriend, lauren, and all
that Right.
But just being able to, likesit on a sofa and hold a
girlfriend's hand like superfeminine thing to do, you know,
and to have that person that youcan sort of drop in and put
your head on their shoulder andhave someone to call and I
definitely did a lot of that inthe groups that I was in right
(18:57):
Whether it was group therapy orAl-Anon made sure I had a list
of women that I was in right,whether it was group therapy or
Al-Anon made sure I had a listof women that I could literally
physically connect with.
That could be safe spaces.
And then you know later on,obviously, like homeopathy is
sort of the most profound andfastest energetic shift, right
To be able to down-regulate thenervous system enough that you
can very quickly feel safer tobe rather than do.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
For me.
I think it was homeopathy, Likeobviously, like that was a huge
piece of my journey throughgoing through EMDR, but sepia,
for me, did wonders.
I mean, sepia made me feel likeI had a heart again.
It made me feel like I could bea nurturer, that I could be
soft and loving without losingthat edge.
I always find it so interestinghow, when we start dealing with
(19:44):
women in our program, how theylook physically in the beginning
versus how they look physicallyat the end, because all of them
it's like they come in andthey're super hard and guarded,
and that's all over their face,yes, and like by the end it's
like they come on camera andthey're just glowing, you know,
and there's this big like exhaleand relief and like I love
(20:05):
seeing how they're able toembrace their femininity and
they finally feel like they'rein a healed state and they don't
have to have that hard exterioranymore.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
And maybe not never, right, because those are things
that we reach for sometimes whenwe get either triggered into an
old pattern or, you know, it'sstill a tool in our toolkit,
right, but it's not a chronicstate of being anymore.
Yeah, all of our faces havechanged too.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Mine did.
I mean I when I started usingsepia, and now, like when I'm
looking in the mirror, I feelmore feminine, I feel softer,
softer and not as edgy yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
So all of this doing rather than being right,
achieving rather than beingcared for it's shredding our
nervous systems, and I thinkthat what I see so many women
experiencing is getting to thisplace where then all of a sudden
they get diagnosed withautoimmune conditions.
And there's such a highcorrelation between autoimmune
(21:04):
disease, trauma, nervous systemdistress and doing rather than
being right.
And so I just want to reallyencourage any woman that has
been diagnosed with anautoimmune condition because
that is the tax that you payeventually right that if you
(21:25):
don't start getting a handle onall of this, you end up sort of
at a tipping point in thenervous system right, where all
of that that you've beensuppressing and repressing
becomes physical disease statein the body, and then the work
is that much more right.
So I just want to encourage anywoman who sort of has been
considering this right or hasrecently been diagnosed with an
(21:47):
autoimmune condition.
These things are reversible,they are unwindable, they are
completely treatable Using allthe tools we use right in our
program.
It's not any one tool, there'sno one size fits all, one magic
bullet that's going to recoverall of this.
You know culture of highachievement or you know
(22:07):
productivity, but there is somuch reason to hope if you can
start taking baby steps in thedirection of reclaiming
femininity and integratedwellness, and I mean I had two
issues at the beginning of lastyear that were autoimmune
related, that I was told I wouldalways just deal with.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
It was something I had to learn to deal with, that
there was not a cause for them,there was not a reason I had
them, but they were veryproblematic symptoms that I was
experiencing.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, should be a crime to tell women that, yeah,
there's not a cause.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Like there wasn't something that they could point
to and tell me that it's like,hey, just avoid these foods and
you'll be fine.
And it's like what the like, Idon't know.
So then I started doinghomeopathy right around the same
time and literally when I wentfor my tests I was cleared of
everything.
Like everything was clear atthat point and you know, if that
didn't make me an advocatebefore for it, it certainly does
(23:04):
now.
And you know, I tell women allthe time, like, whatever you're
experiencing, whether it'sperimenopause, premenopausal you
know there are remedies thatI've taken that literally
alleviate.
And when I tell you that I usedto have the most painful
menstrual cramps, I used to rage, I used to be a complete bitch,
I used to cry, like everythingaround the time of my period.
(23:25):
And after three months on sepiaI don't even know when it's
coming, like it literally justappears and I'm like, whoa, okay
, but there's no cramps anymore,there's no emotional distress,
there's nothing.
So for me it's like, whywouldn't you want to try it,
that remedy?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
was a really good match for you.
What other thing is on themarket that's going to?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
say hey, like yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And not every woman is going to have that much right
.
Like it's that's a verywell-paired remedy for you, like
in general, like not just forthe situational issue, right,
but like it's a good remedy foryou, yeah so, but for another
woman it might be a differentremedy.
Yeah, okay, so let's talk aboutthe real reason.
We've talked about some of thereasons, right, that our nervous
(24:11):
systems have patterns, thatother people are looking at us
or expecting us to do certainthings, or the very real
realities and responsibilitiesright.
But what's the real, real, realreason that high performing,
smart women don't want to digdeeper?
Maybe it's not even don't wantto dig deeper.
Feel like they can't.
Maybe that's more well said,right.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Feel like they can't, that's a hard pill to swallow
to ask for help or to say youcan't like high achieving women,
like for them to come to thetable and be like I can't do
this, when their identity ishistorically been kick ass.
I can accomplish any task, Ican climb any mountain, I can do
(24:52):
.
You know what I mean.
So there's a level of um,there's a love of um, there's a
level of humility and like.
It's not safe to be able to say, but I can't do this.
This is something, this is amountain I can't climb by myself
and it's a lot of shame basednot being able to perform that
(25:14):
well.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Coach Tiffany, what would you say from an IFS
perspective?
Is the real reason.
Women don't really highachieving women, productivity
based women don't feel safe.
What's happening from a partsperspective inside of this
beautiful woman?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
So there's going to be a couple different exiles
that we call them or feelingsright.
So you know, for me it would bea guilty part, you know,
ashamed part, that they're kindof covering up.
And then of course, yourmanagers are going to take
flight.
So that's going to be yourperfectionist manager, your
overworking manager.
You know, I feel like thereason, one of the reasons why I
(25:53):
was such a badass in my careeris because I was using it as a
way to deflect from all of thethings I didn't want to feel
right.
So for me trying to come to thetable and finally saying, hey, I
need EMDR or I need anothermodality because this is not
working anymore.
For me it was like, but if Itake the time and do this, what
else is going to fall apart?
Was my fear going to fall apart?
(26:18):
Was my fear, Am I going to?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
be able to heal and still be able to maintain myself
from a work perspective, or iseverything going to go to shit?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Is everything just going to unravel and fall apart?
That was my biggest fear.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Well, yeah, from an IFS perspective, right, the
system has worked in thecohesive way.
The system has worked to keepus alive, right?
So from a nervous system, ifsperspective, the system really
perceives that the way itfunctions is keeping us alive.
It's a survival-basedprogramming.
Yeah, and so there's somedeep-seated fear that like this
(26:48):
doesn't work without this oldsystem.
Yeah.
I remember even this was yearsago now, but I remember, joy,
you saying, when we were talkingabout you starting EMDR, this
idea of I don't know who I'll beright.
It's like, yeah, this lost,this idea that what if I'm lost?
(27:08):
Right Like I don't know who I'mgoing to be.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
So there's a lot of layers.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I can feel it in my body.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That day those words or what?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, you say those words to me.
I remember feeling that in mybody of just like, so fearful
and so sure of who I was andwhat I like.
No, I like who I am.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I don't know who I'm going to be on the other side of
this, so like I don't want todo it, mm hmm, I don't know who
I'm going to be on the otherside of this, so like I don't
want to do it Also from an IFSperspective, you've got that
ugly controller manager andevery high performing woman has
it.
Every high performing woman hasa controller manager.
You do not like to feel out ofcontrol and healing feels really
out of control.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's right, you can't heal without letting go.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah, correct, correct.
So like I'll have like choice.
She has a controller manager.
When we did IFS she sat thereand she's like but what
questions are you going to askme?
And I've had other clients sayto me that have controller
managers.
You know well what's going tohappen, what are we going to
talk about, and I don't tell youon purpose because I want that
manager activated when you comein, because I want to poke a
(28:17):
little bit, you know.
But I mean my entire life fitin a box.
I had a really hard timestepping out of anything that
felt uncomfortable, like.
I didn't want it Like atheoretical there's a lot of
fear in that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, and I think that's what also sets us apart.
Right Is that when we come froman IFS perspective, paired with
, obviously, somatics andhomeopathy, we know when you
have these parts come up and weknow how to help those parts
feel safe.
And that's trauma-informed care, right, and that's where we
(28:51):
shine as a team.
Yeah, it's helping each ofthose parts feel safe enough
that they can take on newstrategies for survival that are
more balanced right.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
And to me there's no better feeling than hearing a
client say I need to tell youthis.
I've never told anyone thisbefore.
I love that because it's likethat safety that we're providing
in our programs is a place forwomen to feel seen and not
judged, and really get toembrace all of the darkness and
all of the light together.
And that's what you truly,truly need.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
If you don't know and you haven't heard, tomorrow
night we are doing our firstever premium subscriber only
somatic event where, if you area premium subscriber, you get to
come to this event.
We're going to walk through myfavorite somatic exercise that
I've been doing in session withclients and in my family, with
my kid and myself and you nameit.
(29:46):
So we're going to help womenreally shed and put down the
pain they're carrying, the ragethey're carrying, and sleep
better, because that's what thissomatic exercise does.
So if you're not a premiumsubscriber or you haven't signed
up for this event, please besure to do that.
It is going to be Wednesday,august 27th at 8 pm Eastern.
Cannot wait to see you there.
(30:08):
Love you so much.
Peace, dear Divorce Diary is apodcast by my coach, dawn.
You can find more atmycoachdawncom.
You can have every degree, every promotion, every
glowing review and still bebleeding out on the inside.
High-performing women know howto win the game, but that
doesn't mean you're free.
Being the strong one doesn'tprotect you from trauma love.
It just makes you better athiding it.
(00:22):
And maybe you've noticed it toothat you can solve impossible
problems for everyone else, butthe one thing you can't outrun
is yourself.
Hi love, welcome to Dear DivorceDiary, the podcast helping
divorcees go beyond talk therapyto process your grief, find the
(00:44):
healing you crave and buildback your confidence.
I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
In a few minutes, the ladiesand I are going to share the one
(01:13):
question that instantly tellsus if a smart woman has been
using her achievements to outrunher own grief.
Don't feel attacked, we're hereto support you.
Later in the episode, we'regoing to talk about the silent
burnout tax you've probably beenpaying for years and how to
start shifting that and what todo with it.
And, before we wrap, we aregoing to tell you the real
reason that smart and highachieving women avoid deeper
(01:34):
healing and spoiler it's notabout a fear of failing.
It's something entirelydifferent.
Let's chat.
Hi ladies, good morning, goodmorning.
Anybody know any smart women,smart high?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
high, high, achieving high performing.
We're surrounded by them.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
I love that, yeah, and so it's interesting right to
be someone who is able to solveso many problems and be so high
performing and then reallystruggle to capture the
vulnerability or the ability toput that load aside to do your
(02:19):
own deep work, right?
We see this with women a lot.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
I resonate with this so much because in my prior life
I was a corporate executive and.
I ran companies and you know Ioversaw teams and I always felt
like you know I was a goodmentor, you know I was a great
coach to the people who work forme and the women that work for
me, and I don't know there wassomething that just didn't
translate to my personal life.
So I always felt like in thecorporate world I was a badass,
(02:43):
I was very high achieving, butin my personal life I was a hot
mess.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I think a lot of women struggle with this, I know
, you know that feels relatablein the sense that, as a
professional, I have a therapistand it feels like maybe I'm not
supposed to struggle so muchpersonally, and I also feel like
there's an image I've alwaysneeded to uphold, especially
when I became a business owner.
I think that felt like morepressure that I had to uphold a
(03:11):
particular image in order to,you know, make sure people felt
safe, right to use my services.
And I also think about some ofthe women that have an enormous
amount of pressure on them toperform and not show cracks,
right.
Think about, like our kids'teachers, you know, or our
(03:36):
medical professionals, you knowwhat I mean Like there are just
so many smart, high-performingwomen who are problem solvers
for our communities and thenfeel like they can't crack.
You know other therapists,doctors, people who really,
really feel an enormous amountof pressure to maintain a
particular I don't know is itimage or is it image or is it
(04:00):
something else but high level ofresponsibility, right, and they
feel like they cannot showcracks.
And I think that must be sopainful and challenging to be
going through something aspainful as divorce and feel like
you can't feel, you know like,you just can't.
(04:20):
You have to hide it all.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I feel like there's shame too, in being the woman
who has all the answers foreverybody else but you don't
have them for yourself.
So you know, when I was incorporate, I was in an industry
that was very male dominated andit was very, very high pressure
and high stress.
Like it was nothing for me tohave employees go to the ER for
chest pains monthly every othermonth, just from the sheer
(04:46):
pressure of it, right?
So it's like these women alwayslook to me as the person to be
the calm to their storm.
Anytime they had a really crazymeeting or they had a phone
call that they needed to takethat was insane, or whatever, I
was always the one that would bein the room with them.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
And so being able to speak to other women?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, right.
So then, like when I turn itaround in my personal life and I
feel like I'm floundering andagain I have answers for
everybody else but not me, Iknew that I had a huge mental
block there, like I was notseeing the things that were
preventing me from movingforward in my own life, like I
was not self-aware enough withmyself.
Yeah, and that sucks when youhave so much intuition with
other people, but when it comesto you, it's like a blood
(05:27):
doesn't translate, yeah Right.
So there was a lot of shame andconfusion for me around that
Like am I as smart as I think Iam?
Because you know, my personallife is kind of a hot mess right
now.
You know, like my dating life,like I'm picking all the wrong
guys and like doing all thewrong things and creating all
this unnecessary stress formyself and I just I could not
(05:48):
get the hell out of my own wayin my personal life at all.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I think that just so demonstrates like we're not
supposed to heal in isolation,we're supposed to heal in
community, we're supposed toheal in connection like we
literally cannot recoverelements of our story and our
lived experience and our painunless it's done in deep
connection.
And so it's so beautiful how youknow so many people are able to
(06:13):
hold that space for otherpeople, but like we try to do it
without that for ourselves.
Also, I know, joy, youmentioned this earlier but that
idea that like we can't thinkourselves well right, we can't
strategize ourselves well, it'sjust not a thing we have to feel
safe and that's a layer ofshame in and of itself, because
(06:35):
if we have that hype performing,there's nothing that we can't
do because we're badass women,but then we can't do this.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It's like a level of shame all on like failure,
failure.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
It's such a lie we tell ourselves, like profound
lie.
We tell ourselves.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So I always find it so interesting that the women
who gravitate to us in ourprogram are women who are really
badass but also who arecaregivers.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
The nurses, the teachers the therapists.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
you know these women who it's their job not only to
provide for their childrenemotionally, but then also to
provide for people in their owncommunity in some sort of a
capacity.
So it's like we attractcaregivers and I feel like
there's a lot of shame that weunprogram from them, saying like
it's okay that you can care foreveryone else, but you really
need to start putting yourselffirst, I think that's a foreign
(07:33):
concept yeah.
It's hard to let yourself becared for.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So let's, let's dig into the question, right, that
tells us about the ways in which, right, a smart woman, a high
performing woman, has been usingher achievements to outrun her
own grief.
Right, and let's just like peelback the cover on that.
So I want you to take a deepbreath, I want everybody to just
sort of drop into your body,right, and I want you to
(07:57):
consider this question.
I'm going to do it too, rightnow.
Right, we're all going to do itwith you, all.
Right, if you weren't achieving, fixing or helping, who would
you be?
If you weren't doing somethingfor someone else, who would you
(08:33):
be?
And I just want you to noticewhat that brings up in your body
.
I want you to notice what kindof thoughts it brings up.
(08:53):
I had a girlfriend this wasyears ago now, grace was
probably four, so six years agoat least and she said to me you
know, if you did nothing todayother than just be a person, you
would be enough.
And I was like what?
Like what Does not compute,right?
So as recently as six years ago, I still very much felt like I
(09:19):
had to achieve or perform inorder to feel like I was I don't
know valuable at the end ofthat day you know, the idea of
being being supported, beingprovided for like that all still
felt really foreign to mynervous system, really
interesting, and it is a nervoussystem training, right, like
(09:42):
our nervous systems are trainedin certain patterns and it's
it's really pattern based.
And so I think it's a bigquestion what comes up for you,
ladies?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
I just remember I could have the messiest morning
with my daughter, you know, whenshe was younger, like trying to
get her to school.
I remember one morning she wastrying to eat her cereal in the
car line and spilled milk allover the front of her uniform
Like it was disgusting.
But like mornings like that,right, where it's just like,
yeah, anything that can go wrongdid go wrong.
And when I would pull up to myoffice building I'd have to take
(10:15):
a break, or a big breath rather, because the second I walked
through the door I was ondisplay and the way that my
staff studied my emotionalreactions to everything.
I was under a microscope allthe time because if they didn't
feel safe in my reaction, theydidn't feel safe to be there.
(10:35):
And that is a tremendous amountof pressure when you're on stage
and you feel like everyone islooking at you.
And I learned how to be thatway in other parts of my life,
right, I learned to be like thatwith my quote unquote friends,
you know, on dates, even with myfamily, no, I'm fine,
everything's fine.
You know, I live 600 miles away.
Nobody's going to know if I'mnot fucking fine.
(11:00):
There's only a couple peoplethat I can fly under the
bullshit radar, with which oneis my mother.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
She knows I'm not fine.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
She knows I cannot yeah no, there's certain people
that I can't front with right.
I'm the other one, yeah.
Dawn definitely, and I really,really hated that when we first
started working together,because not only will Dawn call
you out in a team meeting andsay, hey, you're not okay today,
no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So then, who are we right when we're not fixing and
I know you know this is forevery woman who's listening to
Explore right now right, but weget so attached to roles as
identity, smart, accomplished,achieving, caregiving, and so
who are we if we're not fillinga role and we're not filling a
(12:00):
need?
Who?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
are we?
I mean, over the course of myjourney in coaching, I've
learned that it's so importantfor me to put myself first, and
so I have learned to take a stepback and be able to ground and
practice different modalitieswith myself, because I know that
if I'm not feeling okay inmyself and my body like, I can't
do the work that I need to doas a healer and a coach.
(12:26):
So, to be that conduit.
Yeah, yeah, and I think beforeI was just surviving in
corporate and that's why it feltso unauthentic to me, because I
just felt like every single daywhen I got up and I put on my
heels and I walked into thatoffice, I was playing a role.
There was nothing real about itand anything that I achieved
(12:46):
over the course of my careerwhich was a ton never meant as
much as it should have, becauseit just never really resonated
with me.
It was all part of the biggerscreenplay all part of the
bigger screenplay.
Yeah, survival.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, I think we've really like, culturally right,
lost track of what it is to bewoman, feminine, right.
We've gone into this like we'velearned.
I feel like we've adapted andlearned how to celebrate boss,
babe, culture, and like I'mgrateful, right, I'm grateful at
least that we did learn how tocelebrate that.
No-transcript.
(14:13):
We're meant to feel, we'remeant to be connect, sit process
, you know, hang out with eachother, be connect, sit process,
you know, hang out with eachother, commune, and and I think
for most women there's not a lotof space and time for all of
that and it's it's a massivething to grieve and it's a
massive thing to understand thatit's a it's actually affecting
(14:33):
your divorce recovery and it'sfascinating to consider, right,
without community, without somestillness, without some
femininity, recovering fromdivorce is not fully available,
and how do you drop into yourfemininity when everything
you're doing is taking care ofyour children, working the
(14:54):
corporate job and having allthese other people look at you
because you are a badass in theworkplace?
Speaker 3 (14:57):
right, me and my best friend we joke about this all
the time and I know that peopleprobably like.
If you look over the course ofmy life, you probably assume
that I'm like this hardcorefeminist, and in some ways I am
right, but also also.
I want to dress in a dress andbake pies and shit Like
literally.
I feel like I'm very proud of,like all the lengths that we as
women have gone to for you know,different rights that we have,
(15:20):
yeah, but sometimes her and Ijoke and laugh and we're like
some bitch took it too farbecause we just want to be we
just want to hang out I meanlike.
so that's what it is and I feellike too, like women are
designed to be, all of thesethings and softness, and I
always remember, like my dad issomebody that's followed my
corporate career for a long timeand he was always my biggest
cheerleader and he would see mein meetings, you know, and he
(15:42):
would see how I worked and youknow he would say to me Tiffany,
you understand, when you walkinto a room with all of these
other men that you have thebiggest balls in the room and it
.
It would crack me up, but itwas the truth.
It was the truth because Icouldn't afford to falter or
embrace any type of femininityor show emotion or do anything
that was going to make peoplelook at me as weak.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well, and I think that that happens a lot also,
like as women are going throughlitigation in the divorce
process, right, like show noweakness, yeah, be tough, be
strong, all of that.
But I think that it's it'skilling us.
Right, it was killing me.
It was killing me, the hustlegrind.
Yeah, I think that there were alot of things that helped me
(16:25):
drop into femininity more overthe years.
Yoga was one of them, and Idon't mean like power yoga right
, I'm not talking about vinyasalike power flow, I'm talking
about the slower forms of yoga,and it's funny when you talk to
women about trying yoga whenthey've not done it before, and
they're usually like smart, highachieving women who are trying
(16:47):
to outrun their problems.
They're like I hate yoga, it'stoo slow, it's too boring.
Or if they do like yoga, it'slike fitness yoga.
You know what I mean, butthat's not what I mean.
I mean like slow flow, hathabreath, focused yin.
You know like mean, but that'snot what I mean.
I mean like slow flow, hathabreath, focused yin.
You know like types of yogathat call for stillness and
(17:08):
breath, and I think that that isa really deeply valuable way
for women to start moving in thedirection of femininity and
still be achieving, if you will.
You know what I mean, becauseyou could go to a yoga class and
you can move your body and youcan be productive in, you know,
burning a calorie, moving yourbody, supporting your lymphatic
system and your nervous system,but be really connecting with
(17:28):
your breath in the class and ifthat feels hard to you, it's
probably the thing you need todo.
So yoga was probably one of themost profound things that
really helped me start to shiftinto my feminine body more and
to be more in touch with mynervous system.
I think EMDR for sure helped.
Beach walks helped right, likeconnecting in nature.
(17:50):
I think when we get outside ofthe walls of the buildings we
live in, we're able to capturesome perspective more right,
because when we're constantly inthe four walls of the buildings
, we're in it really.
I mean number one, from afrequency perspective,
vibrationally right, takes usout of flow.
And number two, we start toreally like fall into this lull
(18:13):
that, like what goes on in thewalls is, is it is the thing
right, and it's it's not thething, it's, you know, it's the
world right, it's the world,it's not the creation you know,
like.
So I think connecting in bignature is very, very helpful for
being able to reconnect withbeing, and so I think being
community too right.
(18:34):
Like you know, y'all have heardme talk about post-divorce and
like the duplex I lived next tomy girlfriend, lauren, and all
that Right.
But just being able to, likesit on a sofa and hold a
girlfriend's hand like superfeminine thing to do, you know,
and to have that person that youcan sort of drop in and put
your head on their shoulder andhave someone to call and I
definitely did a lot of that inthe groups that I was in right
(18:57):
Whether it was group therapy orAl-Anon made sure I had a list
of women that I was in right,whether it was group therapy or
Al-Anon made sure I had a listof women that I could literally
physically connect with.
That could be safe spaces.
And then you know later on,obviously, like homeopathy is
sort of the most profound andfastest energetic shift, right
To be able to down-regulate thenervous system enough that you
can very quickly feel safer tobe rather than do.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
For me.
I think it was homeopathy, Likeobviously, like that was a huge
piece of my journey throughgoing through EMDR, but sepia,
for me, did wonders.
I mean, sepia made me feel likeI had a heart again.
It made me feel like I could bea nurturer, that I could be
soft and loving without losingthat edge.
I always find it so interestinghow, when we start dealing with
(19:44):
women in our program, how theylook physically in the beginning
versus how they look physicallyat the end, because all of them
it's like they come in andthey're super hard and guarded,
and that's all over their face,yes, and like by the end it's
like they come on camera andthey're just glowing, you know,
and there's this big like exhaleand relief and like I love
(20:05):
seeing how they're able toembrace their femininity and
they finally feel like they'rein a healed state and they don't
have to have that hard exterioranymore.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
And maybe not never, right, because those are things
that we reach for sometimes whenwe get either triggered into an
old pattern or, you know, it'sstill a tool in our toolkit,
right, but it's not a chronicstate of being anymore.
Yeah, all of our faces havechanged too.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Mine did.
I mean I when I started usingsepia, and now, like when I'm
looking in the mirror, I feelmore feminine, I feel softer,
softer and not as edgy yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
So all of this doing rather than being right,
achieving rather than beingcared for it's shredding our
nervous systems, and I thinkthat what I see so many women
experiencing is getting to thisplace where then all of a sudden
they get diagnosed withautoimmune conditions.
And there's such a highcorrelation between autoimmune
(21:04):
disease, trauma, nervous systemdistress and doing rather than
being right.
And so I just want to reallyencourage any woman that has
been diagnosed with anautoimmune condition because
that is the tax that you payeventually right that if you
(21:25):
don't start getting a handle onall of this, you end up sort of
at a tipping point in thenervous system right, where all
of that that you've beensuppressing and repressing
becomes physical disease statein the body, and then the work
is that much more right.
So I just want to encourage anywoman who sort of has been
considering this right or hasrecently been diagnosed with an
(21:47):
autoimmune condition.
These things are reversible,they are unwindable, they are
completely treatable Using allthe tools we use right in our
program.
It's not any one tool, there'sno one size fits all, one magic
bullet that's going to recoverall of this.
You know culture of highachievement or you know
(22:07):
productivity, but there is somuch reason to hope if you can
start taking baby steps in thedirection of reclaiming
femininity and integratedwellness, and I mean I had two
issues at the beginning of lastyear that were autoimmune
related, that I was told I wouldalways just deal with.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
It was something I had to learn to deal with, that
there was not a cause for them,there was not a reason I had
them, but they were veryproblematic symptoms that I was
experiencing.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, should be a crime to tell women that, yeah,
there's not a cause.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Like there wasn't something that they could point
to and tell me that it's like,hey, just avoid these foods and
you'll be fine.
And it's like what the like, Idon't know.
So then I started doinghomeopathy right around the same
time and literally when I wentfor my tests I was cleared of
everything.
Like everything was clear atthat point and you know, if that
didn't make me an advocatebefore for it, it certainly does
(23:04):
now.
And you know, I tell women allthe time, like, whatever you're
experiencing, whether it'sperimenopause, premenopausal you
know there are remedies thatI've taken that literally
alleviate.
And when I tell you that I usedto have the most painful
menstrual cramps, I used to rage, I used to be a complete bitch,
I used to cry, like everythingaround the time of my period.
(23:25):
And after three months on sepiaI don't even know when it's
coming, like it literally justappears and I'm like, whoa, okay
, but there's no cramps anymore,there's no emotional distress,
there's nothing.
So for me it's like, whywouldn't you want to try it,
that remedy?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
was a really good match for you.
What other thing is on themarket that's going to?
Speaker 3 (23:42):
say hey, like yeah, absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And not every woman is going to have that much right
.
Like it's that's a verywell-paired remedy for you, like
in general, like not just forthe situational issue, right,
but like it's a good remedy foryou, yeah so, but for another
woman it might be a differentremedy.
Yeah, okay, so let's talk aboutthe real reason.
We've talked about some of thereasons, right, that our nervous
(24:11):
systems have patterns, thatother people are looking at us
or expecting us to do certainthings, or the very real
realities and responsibilitiesright.
But what's the real, real, realreason that high performing,
smart women don't want to digdeeper?
Maybe it's not even don't wantto dig deeper.
Feel like they can't.
Maybe that's more well said,right.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Feel like they can't, that's a hard pill to swallow
to ask for help or to say youcan't like high achieving women,
like for them to come to thetable and be like I can't do
this, when their identity ishistorically been kick ass.
I can accomplish any task, Ican climb any mountain, I can do
(24:52):
.
You know what I mean.
So there's a level of um,there's a love of um, there's a
level of humility and like.
It's not safe to be able to say, but I can't do this.
This is something, this is amountain I can't climb by myself
and it's a lot of shame basednot being able to perform that
(25:14):
well.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Coach Tiffany, what would you say from an IFS
perspective?
Is the real reason.
Women don't really highachieving women, productivity
based women don't feel safe.
What's happening from a partsperspective inside of this
beautiful woman?
Speaker 3 (25:33):
So there's going to be a couple different exiles
that we call them or feelingsright.
So you know, for me it would bea guilty part, you know,
ashamed part, that they're kindof covering up.
And then of course, yourmanagers are going to take
flight.
So that's going to be yourperfectionist manager, your
overworking manager.
You know, I feel like thereason, one of the reasons why I
(25:53):
was such a badass in my careeris because I was using it as a
way to deflect from all of thethings I didn't want to feel
right.
So for me trying to come to thetable and finally saying, hey, I
need EMDR or I need anothermodality because this is not
working anymore.
For me it was like, but if Itake the time and do this, what
else is going to fall apart?
Was my fear going to fall apart?
(26:18):
Was my fear, Am I going to?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
be able to heal and still be able to maintain myself
from a work perspective, or iseverything going to go to shit?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Is everything just going to unravel and fall apart?
That was my biggest fear.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Well, yeah, from an IFS perspective, right, the
system has worked in thecohesive way.
The system has worked to keepus alive, right?
So from a nervous system, ifsperspective, the system really
perceives that the way itfunctions is keeping us alive.
It's a survival-basedprogramming.
Yeah, and so there's somedeep-seated fear that like this
(26:48):
doesn't work without this oldsystem.
Yeah.
I remember even this was yearsago now, but I remember, joy,
you saying, when we were talkingabout you starting EMDR, this
idea of I don't know who I'll beright.
It's like, yeah, this lost,this idea that what if I'm lost?
(27:08):
Right Like I don't know who I'mgoing to be.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
So there's a lot of layers.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I can feel it in my body.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That day those words or what?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, you say those words to me.
I remember feeling that in mybody of just like, so fearful
and so sure of who I was andwhat I like.
No, I like who I am.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
I don't know who I'm going to be on the other side of
this, so like I don't want todo it, mm hmm, I don't know who
I'm going to be on the otherside of this, so like I don't
want to do it Also from an IFSperspective, you've got that
ugly controller manager andevery high performing woman has
it.
Every high performing woman hasa controller manager.
You do not like to feel out ofcontrol and healing feels really
out of control.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's right, you can't heal without letting go.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah, correct, correct.
So like I'll have like choice.
She has a controller manager.
When we did IFS she sat thereand she's like but what
questions are you going to askme?
And I've had other clients sayto me that have controller
managers.
You know well what's going tohappen, what are we going to
talk about, and I don't tell youon purpose because I want that
manager activated when you comein, because I want to poke a
(28:17):
little bit, you know.
But I mean my entire life fitin a box.
I had a really hard timestepping out of anything that
felt uncomfortable, like.
I didn't want it Like atheoretical there's a lot of
fear in that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Yeah, and I think that's what also sets us apart.
Right Is that when we come froman IFS perspective, paired with
, obviously, somatics andhomeopathy, we know when you
have these parts come up and weknow how to help those parts
feel safe.
And that's trauma-informed care, right, and that's where we
(28:51):
shine as a team.
Yeah, it's helping each ofthose parts feel safe enough
that they can take on newstrategies for survival that are
more balanced right.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
And to me there's no better feeling than hearing a
client say I need to tell youthis.
I've never told anyone thisbefore.
I love that because it's likethat safety that we're providing
in our programs is a place forwomen to feel seen and not
judged, and really get toembrace all of the darkness and
all of the light together.
And that's what you truly,truly need.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
If you don't know and you haven't heard, tomorrow
night we are doing our firstever premium subscriber only
somatic event where, if you area premium subscriber, you get to
come to this event.
We're going to walk through myfavorite somatic exercise that
I've been doing in session withclients and in my family, with
my kid and myself and you nameit.
(29:46):
So we're going to help womenreally shed and put down the
pain they're carrying, the ragethey're carrying, and sleep
better, because that's what thissomatic exercise does.
So if you're not a premiumsubscriber or you haven't signed
up for this event, please besure to do that.
It is going to be Wednesday,august 27th at 8 pm Eastern.
Cannot wait to see you there.
(30:08):
Love you so much.
Peace, dear Divorce Diary is apodcast by my coach, dawn.
You can find more atmycoachdawncom.
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