September 2, 2025 • 31 mins
Divorce closes one chapter—but it can also open a hidden door. On the other side: freedom, confidence, and a life you never thought possible.
You’ll Learn
- Why divorce can be the unlikely reset for financial empowerment.
- The link between nervous-system safety and taking bold new steps.
- How women rebuild lives that finally fit after loss.
💎 Want to step through your hidden door? Join A Different D Word
and create the confidence and freedom your future deserves.
For many women, divorce feels like an ending. But what if it’s also the beginning of the life you were meant to live? In this episode, I reveal the surprising ways divorce can reset your relationship with money, confidence, and purpose. When your nervous system feels safe again, you’re free to make choices that align with who you really are—not who you were trying to be for someone else.
Divorce can unlock financial freedom and confidence when you heal at the nervous-system level.
FIND AMBER HERE AND HERE
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn
Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)
Instagram: (@coachtiffini)
On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com
A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.
Post Divorce Road Map : 21 Days of Journaling
Promo Code: MAGICDROP
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's episode is for my ladies who have ever
either owned their own businessor dreamed of owning their own
business, or owned their ownbusiness and was like
overwhelmed, tired, couldn'tfigure out how to craft it into
the thing that they needed it tobe at the time, and are also
going through divorce.
I want you to help me.
Welcome Amber Shaw.
She is my new she doesn't knowthis yet best friend, who has a
(00:24):
top-ranked podcast, the DivorceRevolution, and she is going to
talk to us today about how tocreate autonomy and financial
independence during this effedup season of your life.
Hi, love, Welcome to DearDivorce Diary, the podcast
helping divorcees go beyond talktherapy to process your grief,
(00:47):
find the healing you crave andbuild back your confidence.
I'm your host, Dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Confidence After Divorce.
Amber welcome oh my gosh, dawn.
Thank you so much for having meand I'm so glad we're best
friends now, I love that.
Yes, now that you've gotten thememo, yeah girl, I'm here for
it.
Okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Tell us a little bit about how you got here.
Right, you have a background inbusiness.
I believe I do.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, so I was in sales for about 20 years in
corporate America, sales andmarketing for about 20 years.
And when I was and I had a verysuccessful, very lucrative
sales job and I was married, hadtwo beautiful children and
(01:47):
everything I was actuallymarried to the man that I'd
known since I was seven yearsold.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That's a story.
Met in second grade, the wholething, and so my life was good,
my life was On paper.
On paper, my life was good onpaper, yeah, for a long time,
until it wasn't.
And when I hit a 40, rightaround, right around 40, 39, 40,
my marriage completely implodedand it was one of the most
(02:17):
devastating and tumultuous timesof my life.
I think the listeners you knowwho are navigating everybody can
understand and agree with thosewith those words, right, it's
very, it can be traumatizing allthe things.
It was all those things for me,and right around this time,
I've always been let me back up,I was going to say I've always
been, I think, the kind ofperson that really strives to
(02:40):
find the meaning in things.
Right, it's always like okay soI'm here.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Let's turn this pain into purpose.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yes, I've just always , and I think after the death of
my father, it's really whatkind of catapulted me into that
mindset.
And so when I got divorced, I,just for my own sanity, I
refused to.
Or when I was navigating thatseason of my life, I refused to
believe that it was all in vain.
I refused to believe that therewasn't some bigger and higher
purpose for why I was navigatingthis.
(03:06):
And so I I went on a quest, Istarted my own kind of spiritual
awakening, my own healingjourney, and out of this process
I realized that I really wantedto start a side hustle.
I had this craving to helpother women.
I didn't know what that wouldlook like as far as helping
other women, but I also knew Iwas faced with kind of some of
(03:29):
these, the emotional, like theemotional draw to wanting to
start my own business, which was, you know, I wanted a passion
project, I wanted some purpose,I wanted to help women.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I wanted to be able to, quite frankly, distract
myself from you myself from theshit show that was my life at
the time Something different tofocus on, that felt like you
could make an impact Absolutely,and so that was kind of some of
the emotional aspects of it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
But then also from a practical standpoint, I was like
, oh shit, like I'm going fromtwo incomes to one.
My ex-husband is a verysuccessful attorney.
I was used to a very lushlifestyle going from two incomes
to one.
My my ex-husband is a verysuccessful attorney.
I was used to a very lushlifestyle going from two incomes
to one.
Now I'm going to be singlemomming it.
My kids are very active.
How am I going to handle dropoff and pick up and blah, blah,
(04:15):
blah, blah, blah and all of this?
Like I need to make more moneybut I need to do it in a way
that gives me freedom andautonomy and where I am still
maintaining the flexibility inmy schedule.
And so after a lot of soulsearching, I was like, okay,
like we're going to start a sidehustle, and that is what that
looked like.
My first business was in thehealth and wellness space.
I launched it just kind ofleaning into my passions of
(04:37):
health and wellness and fitnessand nutrition and all of that,
and I did that for about three.
I ran and I scaled a verysuccessful company.
Within the first year I scaledit to a six-figure business.
After year two, I'd seen enoughpromise to where I left my you
know multiple-figure, six-figuresales job and I bet on myself
and I went all in and so I didthat for a while and probably
(05:02):
about I did this.
So I launched in 2019.
And so I did that for a whileand probably about I did this.
I launched in 2019 and thenabout towards the end of like
mid 2020, mid 2023, I was likeyou know, this, ain't it?
This ain't it, I love health andwellness, but something and I'm
a very spiritual person and Ijust felt the universe, I felt
God nudging me like this is thisis not where you're supposed to
(05:22):
be.
And so I made the really toughdecision at the end of 2023,
shut down my health and wellnessbusiness and do a radical pivot
and really start leaning intomy divorce story and yeah, and
so that is really.
And then you know, gosh, andyou know like, if you ever
really, I think, if you ever inyour lifetime have the privilege
(05:45):
of stepping into alignment withwhat the universe wants for you
.
It is undeniable, and I can tellyou that when I really started
leaning into my divorce storyand trying to figure out a path
for how I can help divorce women, everything just exploded and I
knew that I had arrived, I knewthat I was in now.
(06:06):
I'm not saying that everythingwas perfect, Of course you know,
building a business.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
No, life's still life .
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, but I knew and there was this undeniable
feeling that I was exactly whereI needed to be, and so that's
really what led me here.
I did that pivot in 2024 andmade it my mission.
I completely rebranded mypodcast and all of it and um
really started leaning into helpdivorced women and ultimately,
where that's ended up is reallycoaching the former version of
(06:33):
myself, the woman who knows, shehas a story to share, knows.
She's got, you know, someexperience or expertise, and she
wants to, she can bring to thetable and just having a mentor,
that can you know, help herleverage that, yeah, and create
a business, yeah, absolutely so.
Now I'm a business coach.
That's amazing.
I've got three things.
Let's pray, I remember them all.
(06:53):
Okay, I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Okay so I want to call out some bullshit negative
thoughts.
I know our listeners are One ofthem.
Like my brain even wants tograb for right.
Okay, so you've got abackground in marketing and
business.
Of course, you scaled it in ayear.
You knew what you needed toknow right, no, yeah, let's
start with that.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Cause I'm going to tell you what you would think
that, on the looking from theoutside in, and I like, keep in
mind, I was an, I was a salesrep, so like marketing and sales
and like all of that was myforte.
So, yes, from a salesstandpoint, do I think you know?
Obviously I've got someexperience in that.
But let me tell you what, andthis is actually the reason why
a lot of new coaches fail in theonline space.
(07:35):
It's about to get juicy.
Yeah, it's because the skillsetthat you need to know in order
to really thrive in the onlinespace actually has nothing to do
with, like, being a coach, apractitioner, like any of that
stuff.
It has everything to do withknowing how to be a digital
freaking marketer.
And I don't care how much salesbackground I had, this was a
(07:57):
whole new set of skills that Ihad to learn, and so I say that
not to say, not to scare peopleoff.
If people are considering this,they're just learned skills, so
I think why I was so successfulmy first year was not
necessarily because I had it allfigured out.
I didn't.
In fact, I spun my wheels for agood three months until I hired
a mentor who taught me what Ineeded to know.
(08:19):
And I think the reason why I'vehad such success with not one,
but two online businesses that Iscaled very quickly for both of
them is my number one mycommitment to learn.
Right of them is my number onemy commitment to learn Right and
the fact that I am that I'm,that I'm coachable, that I have
always hired people who arefurther along than I am to get
(08:40):
the CliffsNotes to show me thepath.
I'm not trying to do, and infact, as a divorced mom, my time
is so limited.
Yes, I don't have time tofigure this shit out on my own,
okay, and so I've always hiredpeople to guide me, okay?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
So issues two and three issues, I don't know.
Bullets two and three intersect, right?
Okay, so you say that it's likea willingness to learn, a
willingness to be coachable, awillingness to invest in
yourself obviously because youhad to hire those coaches.
So some other negative thoughtsthat some of our listeners are
having is well, that's nice thatyou could afford to do that,
right.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
But I would argue, yeah, I'm going to argue this
too.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So let me have your argument and then let's do mine.
Nothing to do with any of that,and what it actually has to do
with the two other things, thepoints that I want to just
freaking underscore andhighlight.
Number one you voted foryourself.
Yes, you cannot be successfulin anything you do, including
getting the marriage settlementthat you want, or building a
business, or having a rewardingcareer if you are not willing to
(09:35):
be all in, to believe inyourself.
And I think that that's whatwomen do not understand that it
boils down to your beliefs.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
A thousand percent and I think for me, like I
number one, you know, I thinkthat when you really want
something, I can tell you rightnow my first.
You know, I think that when youreally want something, I can
tell you right now my firstmentor.
Seriously, I think I canremember the most money I'd ever
spent and I did not have themoney.
I think it was like $6,000 forlike a four for like a three
month or a four month container.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And I was like where am I going to find?
What am I?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
going to do?
What am I going to do?
But I figured it out.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Did I have some shit on credit card?
Yep, sure, did you know what?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I say about that, and it's the third thing is I say
universe, this isn't my debt,this is your debt.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Figure it out.
For me, that's the third thing.
Right Is you have this deepspirituality and this faith that
when you get the nudge thatit's right and you follow it and
you trust it.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes, yes, and so I just figured it out and I
believed it.
So, yes, listen, I, I get itLike I know, especially
post-divorce money and God thefears around the money stories
and the insecurities I meandivorce shines a light on that.
And so, and so I think for a lotof women coming out of divorce,
the idea of investing inthemselves is really really
(10:48):
freaking scary.
But I just for me, like I said,when I say kind of I bet on
myself, I was like no, I want toalso back this up and just say
this I didn't just like up andquit my job, okay.
Like I yeah, I mean, Iliterally worked like a dog.
I worked like a dog for twoyears building out my business
(11:08):
and working my full-time job andsingle momming it Like I did
this for two years until-.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Preparing yourself building a runway.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
So I'm not advocating thatwomen just go out and, like you
know, quit their jobs and go allin and rack up a bunch of
credit card debt to pursue theirdream Be smart about it, be
smart about it, strategic.
Yeah, at some point you do haveto take the leap Right.
And this is where I do thinkthat a spirituality practice or
a even if you're not a spiritualperson like affording yourself
(11:42):
quiet time, like getting reallyclear on your feelings and
you're like really affordingyourself that space, I think can
be very valuable in these bigdecision-making processes.
Because I had spent a lot oftime with myself, I had spent a
lot of time thinking thingsthrough to where it was so
undeniable for me, like I itjust was, like my intuition was
screaming at me, and I nevercould have gotten to that had I
(12:05):
not just taken the time to be bymyself and feel, and heal and
carve out that space.
Yeah, and so I was able to dothat, and so then it made my
decision very easy for me noteasy, but it made it very clear
for me because I knew.
So then I just knew I had tofigure it out.
Right, I just knew I had tofigure it out because I couldn't
(12:27):
deny what I was feeling anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, so you've obviously worked with so many
women at this point, right?
And what are some of the thingsyou hear them say?
Right?
Just like I was sort ofpredicting what our listeners
are thinking and the ways inwhich they're like oh, I can't
do that, or?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
you know what?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
are the some of the things you see, women?
Having to overcome in order toreally build businesses and
incomes and lives that arerewarding for them.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, I mean, there's a few that come up for sure.
Number one I think impostersyndrome is a huge thing, right?
It's like who am I to do thething?
Right?
Why would anybody?
How can I do this?
You know?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
especially for women.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, Tells you how cut off from our power.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
We are as a gender, yeah, so I think imposter
syndrome for sure it's.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, who am I to do this?
Why would anybody you know ifwe're thinking, if you're
thinking about starting abusiness, even if they're
thinking about becoming like acoach in the online space,
whether it looks like like who'sgoing to listen to me, who's
going to buy from me?
Uh, the other thing I hear alot of is what are people going
to think?
What if I look stupid.
Right, like what?
You know how?
You know what if I tell peoplethat I'm doing this thing and
(13:34):
people laugh at me.
Like what if nobody believes inme that I can do it?
I hear that one a lot.
I hear a lot.
This is, in particular,especially for women who are
wanting to start in the onlinespace around, especially around
coaching is like do I have tohave, like, do I have to have
like, a certification in orderto do that?
(13:54):
And I will.
I want to answer that onereally quickly.
So here's the thing I am not inthe energy of like just going
out and just declaring yourselfan expert in something you have
no business coaching on andyou're not right, and there are
certain areas in coaching inparticular, even in the online
space, certain professions that,yes, you do need to for like,
either safety reasons or likelegal reasons right Like coaches
(14:17):
are not particularly talkingabout coaches, because that's
who I primarily coach andcoaches and also, like I coach a
lot of, like therapists andpractitioners and physicians and
teachers and all of that Rightbut I think that you know there
are definitely certainindustries and areas where, yes,
like you want to like, ifyou're trying to coach somebody
on somatic healing, you need tohave some credentials for that
(14:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I think that so many of our listeners have
credentials A thousand percentthat they discount Exactly so
for instance, the teacher thatthinks she's not qualified to be
.
I'm like girl you are a teacher.
You're one of the mostqualified people to.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
actually you are a teacher Like yes you are, and.
I think that you know BrendaBurchard.
I don't know if you're familiarwith him.
He's a high performance coach.
He talks a lot about the threeR's right, the three different
types of experts, and when hetalks about his, you know I
think we have this big kind of.
He talks about these expertsthat really build trust in the
online space and, um, and noneof them have anything to do with
(15:16):
having, like, a formalcertification right, like if
you've been the researcher, likeyou fully understand a subject
matter inside and out thatexpertise right More than
credential expertise which takesthe 10,000 hours or whatever.
Exactly.
Or maybe you've Expertise whichtakes the 10,000 hours or
whatever Exactly.
Or maybe you're like the rolemodel, because you are coaching
women on or you're you know, orwhatever, just teaching people
(15:37):
how to lose weight because youyourself have experienced
something around that, you knowaround that.
Or it is just like the personwho's also lived it right, like,
listen, I can talk.
I don't have an MBA, but I cantalk about how to create an
online business because I'vedone it once, but I've done it
not once, but I've done it twicenow, so I've learned about how
(15:59):
to do this.
I've learned you know, and I'vedone it myself.
So I think we can get caught upin the formality of like,
having a specific likecredential and a lot of times,
like you just said, to yourpoint, we are more credentialed
than we think.
We're just discounting theexperience that we already have.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Well, and I think that we've been sort of.
I want to be very careful here,because there's some hot takes
embedded in this little subconversation that we're in.
But, you know, george Washingtonwasn't terribly credentialed.
He was smart, he was informed,he had experience, right?
He didn't.
He wasn't in the college funnel, right Like George Washington,
didn't he he?
He was like a farmer and anarchitect and a I don't know a
general and a lot of things Like.
(16:39):
I just think there was a timein life where we learned things,
we apprenticed, we learned themby doing and then we hired
those people and they werebrilliant.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And now we're in this college funnel season where you
have to have 12 degrees to feelcompetent in anything, and none
of that actually equates tocompetence, abso-fricking-lutely
.
Now, that said, please don'thire people where you haven't
vetted that they are experiencedenough to actually help you
solve your problem.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I mean for right, exactly Again, like I am not,
you know, I am not pushing, youknow, out of scope energy I'd
like it, that's not what we'retalking about here, vet your
people.
But there are, you know, peopleare just as qualified from
lived experience.
Yes, you know, and I think alot of people forget that.
Yeah, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, okay.
So I want to go back to thethings that you see women
struggle with, just because westarted to have this
conversation when I guested onyour podcast about homeopathic
remedies.
So just for fun, right?
Each of those things that womenstruggle with, like imposter
syndrome, what are they going tothink of me?
All that right is a homeopathicprofile.
It's like there is thisparameter of negative beliefs or
(17:45):
self-concept.
Right, there's a matchingremedy in nature, for instance,
for your women who struggle withwhat are they going to think of
me?
The remedy that corresponds tothat negative belief is silica.
You could buy it on Amazon andit really helps with breaking
through the what are they goingto think of me?
Shit.
So fascinating.
So I just love that you're ableto like dial that in.
Okay, if you could go back andsit with yourself on one of
(18:07):
those nights post-divorce whereyou felt the most lost.
What would you have said toyourself?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I would have said, girl, it's going to be okay,
it's going to be okay.
You may not understand how.
You may not see the light atthe end of the tunnel, but I
promise you this will pass andyou will be okay.
It's going to be a long roadand it's going to be hard and
(18:40):
you're even going to be fiveyears post and things are still
going to trigger the shit out ofyou.
Okay, but if you lean in andyou and you really do the work
on taking care of you first,it's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, I love that I talk to women a lot about.
We cannot let how it feels turninto a belief, right.
We can't let like feeling lostturn into I am lost, or feeling
you know inadequate turn into Iam inadequate, right it just.
(19:16):
It keeps us from living intothe fullness of our dreams, our
desires and all the things.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yes, absolutely, I mean.
I think that you know this iseven when I used to coach in the
health and wellness space, Iused to say like you can't rely
on your feelings.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Feelings come and go.
They're important, they'reessential to recovery, right,
but yeah, you can't makedecisions.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
They are important but right.
But feelings, right, yeah, theycome and go, they're, they're
volatile, right, and so we can't.
I think that number one, wecan't rely on feelings to make
big decisions Like we have to.
You know, you can, you want tofeel them, because obviously
feeling them and work throughthem is what's going to allow
you to make the decision Right.
But I think that feelings comeand go and I think that we can't
, um, necessarily rely on them.
(19:56):
I this is what I used to tellmy women especially like, let's
just say they didn't feel likegetting up and working out in
the morning.
I know this is like differentthan you know, than going
through feelings of divorce, butI'm just saying kind of this
feeling of like we really wantto, I don't know, is it?
I?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
think we don't want to feel.
We don't want to feel thediscomfort, so we'll do anything
to bypass the discomfort,whether it's grieve the things
we need to grieve, or get yourass up and go to the gym Like
it's avoiding feeling Absolutely, and so I think, though, it's
like okay, listen, you can'trely, though.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
What I want you to do is like you think about what
your future self wants, right,so, whether or not that's, the
woman who just finished herworkout or it's the woman three
months from now who wants to,you know, just feel better next
week, wants to feel better latertoday, wants to feel better
Like, stop up.
We have to stop operating, Ithink, from the mode of being in
our feelings and makingdecisions on our feelings and
(20:44):
really more so, focus on, okay,what does my future self want,
what does my higher self want?
And and sometimes we, you know,we just we have to just kind of
put on our big girl pants andmake decisions from what our
future self wants, and I thinkthat that's I agree, like we
can't let our feelings define us.
I'm feeling does not turn intoI am right, absolutely.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay, Not every one of our listeners wants to start
a business.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I know that's you know, it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
But for the mom listening who just wants to feel
less scared about money or lessscared about the future, what's
one thing she could do today tomake a difference around that
insecurity or that uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Girl, I always say the very first thing know your
money, Get a hold of your damnmoney.
So, just from a practicalstandpoint.
Right, if she is somebody whowants to feel better about her
money.
Know your money, right?
And so what does that look likeLike?
Yes, I know this is so damnbasic, but you should know where
every single dollar coming inand every single dollar coming
out looks like, I thinksometimes around money.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Why we get anxiety is because we just don't really
know, and I think we don't wantto feel, we don't want to look
because we don't want to feel it.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
We don't want to know , we don't want to feel it, but
you got to face it.
If you are, if you are spendingmore than you are bringing in
girl, you got to face that.
Okay, if you've got all kindsof debt, got all kinds of debt,
if you are, you know, if you've,you know, went through divorce
and you're in a really badposition financially.
And I talked to a lot of womenthat are and my heart goes out
to especially like the you know,like maybe the stay at home mom
(22:10):
that's now faced with having tolike get back into it, or the
you know just women who you knoware now having to go from one
income or two incomes to one.
You know it's scary.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
What about the woman who earns more than her husband
and she ends up having to paysome sort of alimony or child
support, and then that affectsthe income that she's used to
bring, and I talked to womenabout that Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Right.
So I think it's just if you,you know, I think that's that's
just, that's like ground zero.
You got to know your money, yougot to sit down If you've not
done this exercise, literallysitting down and you can, you
know, sign up for like an appthat connects your bank account
and contract things.
But, like I have an old schoollike Excel budget, Seriously, I
do it for my personal life and Ido it for my business.
(22:51):
I know where money's coming inand money's coming out.
So I think that that really isground zero for sure.
It's just knowing your numbersand knowing your money.
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, tell us about what you do with women, right?
Tell us about how you love towork with them.
What's it look like?
What's it look like to workwith you and what you offer and
the transformation you providewomen.
Walk us through it.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, god, I would love to you know I really work
with women just in buildingtheir businesses from the ground
up.
I mostly work.
I do work with a lot of womenwho want to take their
experience or their expertiseand either become a coach in the
online space or really justbuild any business in the online
space.
I actually have.
I have a, like a web developerthat I work with, right I've got
(23:38):
I'm a functional medicine Iwork with, right.
I've got a functional medicinepractitioner that I work with.
I've got a couple of therapiststhat I work with.
So it really is the woman whowants to either start her
business from, you know, groundzero in the online space, or
it's a woman that maybe wants totake her brick and mortar and
and be able to, you know, havemore freedom and autonomy and
more financial security bybuilding her own thing in the
(24:01):
online space.
So my, it is a a businessprogram.
So what I mean by that is I amfocusing on the business aspect
of it.
So, you know, really clearlydefining your niche, really
defining your offers, coming upwith your marketing and strategy
plan, and not just coming upwith a plan, but actually
(24:21):
showing you and teaching you youknow what?
How do you, step-by-step, growyour social media?
How do you produce content thatactually converts?
What's the selling aspect of itlike?
So I really do take women allthe way from hey, I've got this
idea, amber, this is what I'mthinking about doing all the way
to getting their first clientsand really, kind of what that
(24:41):
whole yeah, exactly so like ideato income, like what that whole
process looks like through,through building their business.
And so I you know, for me I'm sopassionate about this because I
wish I had you know a mentor,like when I first got going when
I was first I had all theseideas swirling in my mind and I
didn't really know what to do,and I I wasn't.
(25:03):
I had all those impostersyndrome and you know all the,
all the fears and doubts and allthat.
I just I wish I had somebodythat was holding my hand, that
could literally like just guideme through the process, and so
that's that's what I help womendo.
Have you ever pulled your humandesign chart?
Yes, I have Tell me, and you'regoing to ask me what it is, and
then I'm like okay, do Iremember what?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
it is.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No, okay, remind me.
So it's the generator, themanifestor, and what's the other
one?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The projector, projector, reflector yeah, but I
want to know what your numbersare, your personality profile
numbers.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I could totally look that up, but I definitely am the
projector are.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yes, I'm the projector.
You are the perfect person toconsult for people on their
businesses, right?
Yeah, I'm a projector from ahigher perspective.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, that is exactly .
I'm not not a generator, not amanifestor, definitely a
projector.
I feel like I'm like a two, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I gotta look it up I feel like you're like a two also
, which I think I am a two.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
I think I'm a two numbers yeah, I think, oh my god
, okay.
Well, you know what?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
we're gonna come back to Okay.
Well, you know what.
We're going to come back tothis.
I'm going to let you know.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Cause, yeah, I'm like , I know, yeah, so like from a
human design standpoint.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
You, being a projector like you, are doing
what you are built for.
So when you talk about thatpull that you had spiritually
and what it feels like to liveinto alignment like fricking
yeah, you're like literallydoing it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, and you know it , yeah, and you know.
It's really funny because, as Imentioned, like now it's going
to drive me crazy that mynumbers are thanks a lot.
So I've had a lot of.
You know, when I was on thatspiritual quest, you know,
post-divorce, I had a lot ofspiritual teachers tell me that
the word that kept coming up forthem was teacher over and over
(26:38):
and over, like from alldifferent walks of life.
And so that's what I'm talkingabout.
When I said that, like when Ithink what's so important,
whether or not you want tocreate a business or not, like
when you're you're post-divorce,god, go like, take the time
because you will.
You will take the time to like,go down a journey, whether
that's just with yourself or ifyou are a spiritual person, like
(27:00):
a spiritual journey, becausethe information that you gain,
like again, like all of those,like confirmation, right, like
therapist you know, spiritualleader or therapist telling you
like I just keep hearing teacherThen for me I was like God, I
can't deny this Right.
But had I not kind of opened upmy eyes and started that
journey, I don't think I wouldhave had the guts to do it,
because I wouldn't have had allof that, I wouldn't have had all
(27:21):
of the nudges from the universealong the way telling me
exactly what I needed to do.
And that's what I'm saying whenI said it got to the point
where it was so undeniable.
That's why Because I had hadenough things be put in my path
that confirmed that that's whatI was supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
All right, amber, where shouldthey find you?
We ask this do you always askyour guests where should they
find you?
On instagram, obviously, Idon't know where else.
Anyways, where do you love toconnect with people most?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I love it, yes, instagram and it is me running
my instagram genuinely?
Love that yeah yes, I don'tlike meaning like, so send me a
message.
It genuinely is me, and I'mjust gonna warn you, I'm a big
voice noter, so if you send me amessage I'm probably going to
voice note you back.
I'm a voice noter.
That's just what I roll.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Later today you're going to voice note me about
your human design.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah, definitely I've already started like searching.
I'm like where the F is myhuman design.
I'm going to find this.
I know, like I said, I know I'mprojector.
I think Does three make senseor not?
That would not make sense.
No, that's probably not.
I know it's projector.
Then there's a two in there.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
but we're going to find it.
We're going to send it to you,Okay, fine.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, so they should send you a DM and you're going
to send them a voice note, andthat's amazing.
I will, I will.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I just want to know what resonated, or, if you want,
it's going to resonate and I'mthrilled.
Yes, can I also shamelesslyplug my event that's coming up
though?
Yes, okay, listen you guys, Ihave an event coming up.
It's a free workshop.
It is called social to sold and, honestly, this workshop is all
about really how to leveragesocial media to get clients.
So, whether or not you'resomebody who's just been
thinking about starting somesort of business in the online
space or you've been, you know,kind of dabbling like posting,
maybe you've already tried kindof creating something in the
(29:09):
online space and you're notgetting traction, in this free
two day workshop, I'm going tobe walking, walking you through
my number one client attractionstrategy.
This is the exact strategy thatI use in scaling both of my
businesses to six figures withinthe first year both of them.
This is the exact, this exactstrategy that I teach my clients
that allows them to go fromzero to thousands of followers.
(29:34):
So not only growing yourfollowing, but then how do you
actually then leverage them andget clients out of it, turn
followers into clients?
So I'm going to be breaking allof that down.
It's going to be a little bitsocial media growth and also a
little bit of sales and, like Isaid, sharing my client
attraction, uh strategy, and I'mreally excited that's happening
September 9th and 11th.
So, um Don, I think you've gotthat link, so if we want to add
(29:57):
that to the show, notes I havepeople sign up and listen.
If you're not sure, if it's foryou, uh, and you have a question
about it, then just send me aDM and let's chat it out, let's
talk about it and I'll let youknow.
I'm very straightforward.
I'll let you know yes, it's agood fit, or no, it's not.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
No, it's not Love it, love it, love it.
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here with Amber
and I.
Until next week.
Peace, dear.
(30:36):
Divorce Diary is a podcast bymy coach, john.
You can find more atmycoachjohncom.
Today's episode is for my ladies who have ever
either owned their own businessor dreamed of owning their own
business, or owned their ownbusiness and was like
overwhelmed, tired, couldn'tfigure out how to craft it into
the thing that they needed it tobe at the time, and are also
going through divorce.
I want you to help me.
Welcome Amber Shaw.
She is my new she doesn't knowthis yet best friend, who has a
(00:24):
top-ranked podcast, the DivorceRevolution, and she is going to
talk to us today about how tocreate autonomy and financial
independence during this effedup season of your life.
Hi, love, Welcome to DearDivorce Diary, the podcast
helping divorcees go beyond talktherapy to process your grief,
(00:47):
find the healing you crave andbuild back your confidence.
I'm your host, Dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Confidence After Divorce.
Amber welcome oh my gosh, dawn.
Thank you so much for having meand I'm so glad we're best
friends now, I love that.
Yes, now that you've gotten thememo, yeah girl, I'm here for
it.
Okay, let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Tell us a little bit about how you got here.
Right, you have a background inbusiness.
I believe I do.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, so I was in sales for about 20 years in
corporate America, sales andmarketing for about 20 years.
And when I was and I had a verysuccessful, very lucrative
sales job and I was married, hadtwo beautiful children and
(01:47):
everything I was actuallymarried to the man that I'd
known since I was seven yearsold.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That's a story.
Met in second grade, the wholething, and so my life was good,
my life was On paper.
On paper, my life was good onpaper, yeah, for a long time,
until it wasn't.
And when I hit a 40, rightaround, right around 40, 39, 40,
my marriage completely implodedand it was one of the most
(02:17):
devastating and tumultuous timesof my life.
I think the listeners you knowwho are navigating everybody can
understand and agree with thosewith those words, right, it's
very, it can be traumatizing allthe things.
It was all those things for me,and right around this time,
I've always been let me back up,I was going to say I've always
been, I think, the kind ofperson that really strives to
(02:40):
find the meaning in things.
Right, it's always like okay soI'm here.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Let's turn this pain into purpose.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yes, I've just always , and I think after the death of
my father, it's really whatkind of catapulted me into that
mindset.
And so when I got divorced, I,just for my own sanity, I
refused to.
Or when I was navigating thatseason of my life, I refused to
believe that it was all in vain.
I refused to believe that therewasn't some bigger and higher
purpose for why I was navigatingthis.
(03:06):
And so I I went on a quest, Istarted my own kind of spiritual
awakening, my own healingjourney, and out of this process
I realized that I really wantedto start a side hustle.
I had this craving to helpother women.
I didn't know what that wouldlook like as far as helping
other women, but I also knew Iwas faced with kind of some of
(03:29):
these, the emotional, like theemotional draw to wanting to
start my own business, which was, you know, I wanted a passion
project, I wanted some purpose,I wanted to help women.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I wanted to be able to, quite frankly, distract
myself from you myself from theshit show that was my life at
the time Something different tofocus on, that felt like you
could make an impact Absolutely,and so that was kind of some of
the emotional aspects of it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
But then also from a practical standpoint, I was like
, oh shit, like I'm going fromtwo incomes to one.
My ex-husband is a verysuccessful attorney.
I was used to a very lushlifestyle going from two incomes
to one.
My my ex-husband is a verysuccessful attorney.
I was used to a very lushlifestyle going from two incomes
to one.
Now I'm going to be singlemomming it.
My kids are very active.
How am I going to handle dropoff and pick up and blah, blah,
(04:15):
blah, blah, blah and all of this?
Like I need to make more moneybut I need to do it in a way
that gives me freedom andautonomy and where I am still
maintaining the flexibility inmy schedule.
And so after a lot of soulsearching, I was like, okay,
like we're going to start a sidehustle, and that is what that
looked like.
My first business was in thehealth and wellness space.
I launched it just kind ofleaning into my passions of
(04:37):
health and wellness and fitnessand nutrition and all of that,
and I did that for about three.
I ran and I scaled a verysuccessful company.
Within the first year I scaledit to a six-figure business.
After year two, I'd seen enoughpromise to where I left my you
know multiple-figure, six-figuresales job and I bet on myself
and I went all in and so I didthat for a while and probably
(05:02):
about I did this.
So I launched in 2019.
And so I did that for a whileand probably about I did this.
I launched in 2019 and thenabout towards the end of like
mid 2020, mid 2023, I was likeyou know, this, ain't it?
This ain't it, I love health andwellness, but something and I'm
a very spiritual person and Ijust felt the universe, I felt
God nudging me like this is thisis not where you're supposed to
(05:22):
be.
And so I made the really toughdecision at the end of 2023,
shut down my health and wellnessbusiness and do a radical pivot
and really start leaning intomy divorce story and yeah, and
so that is really.
And then you know, gosh, andyou know like, if you ever
really, I think, if you ever inyour lifetime have the privilege
(05:45):
of stepping into alignment withwhat the universe wants for you
.
It is undeniable, and I can tellyou that when I really started
leaning into my divorce storyand trying to figure out a path
for how I can help divorce women, everything just exploded and I
knew that I had arrived, I knewthat I was in now.
(06:06):
I'm not saying that everythingwas perfect, Of course you know,
building a business.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
No, life's still life .
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, but I knew and there was this undeniable
feeling that I was exactly whereI needed to be, and so that's
really what led me here.
I did that pivot in 2024 andmade it my mission.
I completely rebranded mypodcast and all of it and um
really started leaning into helpdivorced women and ultimately,
where that's ended up is reallycoaching the former version of
(06:33):
myself, the woman who knows, shehas a story to share, knows.
She's got, you know, someexperience or expertise, and she
wants to, she can bring to thetable and just having a mentor,
that can you know, help herleverage that, yeah, and create
a business, yeah, absolutely so.
Now I'm a business coach.
That's amazing.
I've got three things.
Let's pray, I remember them all.
(06:53):
Okay, I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Okay so I want to call out some bullshit negative
thoughts.
I know our listeners are One ofthem.
Like my brain even wants tograb for right.
Okay, so you've got abackground in marketing and
business.
Of course, you scaled it in ayear.
You knew what you needed toknow right, no, yeah, let's
start with that.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Cause I'm going to tell you what you would think
that, on the looking from theoutside in, and I like, keep in
mind, I was an, I was a salesrep, so like marketing and sales
and like all of that was myforte.
So, yes, from a salesstandpoint, do I think you know?
Obviously I've got someexperience in that.
But let me tell you what, andthis is actually the reason why
a lot of new coaches fail in theonline space.
(07:35):
It's about to get juicy.
Yeah, it's because the skillsetthat you need to know in order
to really thrive in the onlinespace actually has nothing to do
with, like, being a coach, apractitioner, like any of that
stuff.
It has everything to do withknowing how to be a digital
freaking marketer.
And I don't care how much salesbackground I had, this was a
(07:57):
whole new set of skills that Ihad to learn, and so I say that
not to say, not to scare peopleoff.
If people are considering this,they're just learned skills, so
I think why I was so successfulmy first year was not
necessarily because I had it allfigured out.
I didn't.
In fact, I spun my wheels for agood three months until I hired
a mentor who taught me what Ineeded to know.
(08:19):
And I think the reason why I'vehad such success with not one,
but two online businesses that Iscaled very quickly for both of
them is my number one mycommitment to learn.
Right of them is my number onemy commitment to learn Right and
the fact that I am that I'm,that I'm coachable, that I have
always hired people who arefurther along than I am to get
(08:40):
the CliffsNotes to show me thepath.
I'm not trying to do, and infact, as a divorced mom, my time
is so limited.
Yes, I don't have time tofigure this shit out on my own,
okay, and so I've always hiredpeople to guide me, okay?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
So issues two and three issues, I don't know.
Bullets two and three intersect, right?
Okay, so you say that it's likea willingness to learn, a
willingness to be coachable, awillingness to invest in
yourself obviously because youhad to hire those coaches.
So some other negative thoughtsthat some of our listeners are
having is well, that's nice thatyou could afford to do that,
right.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
But I would argue, yeah, I'm going to argue this
too.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So let me have your argument and then let's do mine.
Nothing to do with any of that,and what it actually has to do
with the two other things, thepoints that I want to just
freaking underscore andhighlight.
Number one you voted foryourself.
Yes, you cannot be successfulin anything you do, including
getting the marriage settlementthat you want, or building a
business, or having a rewardingcareer if you are not willing to
(09:35):
be all in, to believe inyourself.
And I think that that's whatwomen do not understand that it
boils down to your beliefs.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
A thousand percent and I think for me, like I
number one, you know, I thinkthat when you really want
something, I can tell you rightnow my first.
You know, I think that when youreally want something, I can
tell you right now my firstmentor.
Seriously, I think I canremember the most money I'd ever
spent and I did not have themoney.
I think it was like $6,000 forlike a four for like a three
month or a four month container.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And I was like where am I going to find?
What am I?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
going to do?
What am I going to do?
But I figured it out.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Did I have some shit on credit card?
Yep, sure, did you know what?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I say about that, and it's the third thing is I say
universe, this isn't my debt,this is your debt.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Figure it out.
For me, that's the third thing.
Right Is you have this deepspirituality and this faith that
when you get the nudge thatit's right and you follow it and
you trust it.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yes, yes, and so I just figured it out and I
believed it.
So, yes, listen, I, I get itLike I know, especially
post-divorce money and God thefears around the money stories
and the insecurities I meandivorce shines a light on that.
And so, and so I think for a lotof women coming out of divorce,
the idea of investing inthemselves is really really
(10:48):
freaking scary.
But I just for me, like I said,when I say kind of I bet on
myself, I was like no, I want toalso back this up and just say
this I didn't just like up andquit my job, okay.
Like I yeah, I mean, Iliterally worked like a dog.
I worked like a dog for twoyears building out my business
(11:08):
and working my full-time job andsingle momming it Like I did
this for two years until-.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Preparing yourself building a runway.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
So I'm not advocating thatwomen just go out and, like you
know, quit their jobs and go allin and rack up a bunch of
credit card debt to pursue theirdream Be smart about it, be
smart about it, strategic.
Yeah, at some point you do haveto take the leap Right.
And this is where I do thinkthat a spirituality practice or
a even if you're not a spiritualperson like affording yourself
(11:42):
quiet time, like getting reallyclear on your feelings and
you're like really affordingyourself that space, I think can
be very valuable in these bigdecision-making processes.
Because I had spent a lot oftime with myself, I had spent a
lot of time thinking thingsthrough to where it was so
undeniable for me, like I itjust was, like my intuition was
screaming at me, and I nevercould have gotten to that had I
(12:05):
not just taken the time to be bymyself and feel, and heal and
carve out that space.
Yeah, and so I was able to dothat, and so then it made my
decision very easy for me noteasy, but it made it very clear
for me because I knew.
So then I just knew I had tofigure it out.
Right, I just knew I had tofigure it out because I couldn't
(12:27):
deny what I was feeling anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Yeah, so you've obviously worked with so many
women at this point, right?
And what are some of the thingsyou hear them say?
Right?
Just like I was sort ofpredicting what our listeners
are thinking and the ways inwhich they're like oh, I can't
do that, or?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
you know what?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
are the some of the things you see, women?
Having to overcome in order toreally build businesses and
incomes and lives that arerewarding for them.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, I mean, there's a few that come up for sure.
Number one I think impostersyndrome is a huge thing, right?
It's like who am I to do thething?
Right?
Why would anybody?
How can I do this?
You know?
Speaker 1 (13:06):
especially for women.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, Tells you how cut off from our power.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
We are as a gender, yeah, so I think imposter
syndrome for sure it's.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Yeah, who am I to do this?
Why would anybody you know ifwe're thinking, if you're
thinking about starting abusiness, even if they're
thinking about becoming like acoach in the online space,
whether it looks like like who'sgoing to listen to me, who's
going to buy from me?
Uh, the other thing I hear alot of is what are people going
to think?
What if I look stupid.
Right, like what?
You know how?
You know what if I tell peoplethat I'm doing this thing and
(13:34):
people laugh at me.
Like what if nobody believes inme that I can do it?
I hear that one a lot.
I hear a lot.
This is, in particular,especially for women who are
wanting to start in the onlinespace around, especially around
coaching is like do I have tohave, like, do I have to have
like, a certification in orderto do that?
(13:54):
And I will.
I want to answer that onereally quickly.
So here's the thing I am not inthe energy of like just going
out and just declaring yourselfan expert in something you have
no business coaching on andyou're not right, and there are
certain areas in coaching inparticular, even in the online
space, certain professions that,yes, you do need to for like,
either safety reasons or likelegal reasons right Like coaches
(14:17):
are not particularly talkingabout coaches, because that's
who I primarily coach andcoaches and also, like I coach a
lot of, like therapists andpractitioners and physicians and
teachers and all of that Rightbut I think that you know there
are definitely certainindustries and areas where, yes,
like you want to like, ifyou're trying to coach somebody
on somatic healing, you need tohave some credentials for that
(14:39):
Right.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I think that so many of our listeners have
credentials A thousand percentthat they discount Exactly so
for instance, the teacher thatthinks she's not qualified to be
.
I'm like girl you are a teacher.
You're one of the mostqualified people to.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
actually you are a teacher Like yes you are, and.
I think that you know BrendaBurchard.
I don't know if you're familiarwith him.
He's a high performance coach.
He talks a lot about the threeR's right, the three different
types of experts, and when hetalks about his, you know I
think we have this big kind of.
He talks about these expertsthat really build trust in the
online space and, um, and noneof them have anything to do with
(15:16):
having, like, a formalcertification right, like if
you've been the researcher, likeyou fully understand a subject
matter inside and out thatexpertise right More than
credential expertise which takesthe 10,000 hours or whatever.
Exactly.
Or maybe you've Expertise whichtakes the 10,000 hours or
whatever Exactly.
Or maybe you're like the rolemodel, because you are coaching
women on or you're you know, orwhatever, just teaching people
(15:37):
how to lose weight because youyourself have experienced
something around that, you knowaround that.
Or it is just like the personwho's also lived it right, like,
listen, I can talk.
I don't have an MBA, but I cantalk about how to create an
online business because I'vedone it once, but I've done it
not once, but I've done it twicenow, so I've learned about how
(15:59):
to do this.
I've learned you know, and I'vedone it myself.
So I think we can get caught upin the formality of like,
having a specific likecredential and a lot of times,
like you just said, to yourpoint, we are more credentialed
than we think.
We're just discounting theexperience that we already have.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Well, and I think that we've been sort of.
I want to be very careful here,because there's some hot takes
embedded in this little subconversation that we're in.
But, you know, george Washingtonwasn't terribly credentialed.
He was smart, he was informed,he had experience, right?
He didn't.
He wasn't in the college funnel, right Like George Washington,
didn't he he?
He was like a farmer and anarchitect and a I don't know a
general and a lot of things Like.
(16:39):
I just think there was a timein life where we learned things,
we apprenticed, we learned themby doing and then we hired
those people and they werebrilliant.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And now we're in this college funnel season where you
have to have 12 degrees to feelcompetent in anything, and none
of that actually equates tocompetence, abso-fricking-lutely
.
Now, that said, please don'thire people where you haven't
vetted that they are experiencedenough to actually help you
solve your problem.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I mean for right, exactly Again, like I am not,
you know, I am not pushing, youknow, out of scope energy I'd
like it, that's not what we'retalking about here, vet your
people.
But there are, you know, peopleare just as qualified from
lived experience.
Yes, you know, and I think alot of people forget that.
Yeah, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, okay.
So I want to go back to thethings that you see women
struggle with, just because westarted to have this
conversation when I guested onyour podcast about homeopathic
remedies.
So just for fun, right?
Each of those things that womenstruggle with, like imposter
syndrome, what are they going tothink of me?
All that right is a homeopathicprofile.
It's like there is thisparameter of negative beliefs or
(17:45):
self-concept.
Right, there's a matchingremedy in nature, for instance,
for your women who struggle withwhat are they going to think of
me?
The remedy that corresponds tothat negative belief is silica.
You could buy it on Amazon andit really helps with breaking
through the what are they goingto think of me?
Shit.
So fascinating.
So I just love that you're ableto like dial that in.
Okay, if you could go back andsit with yourself on one of
(18:07):
those nights post-divorce whereyou felt the most lost.
What would you have said toyourself?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I would have said, girl, it's going to be okay,
it's going to be okay.
You may not understand how.
You may not see the light atthe end of the tunnel, but I
promise you this will pass andyou will be okay.
It's going to be a long roadand it's going to be hard and
(18:40):
you're even going to be fiveyears post and things are still
going to trigger the shit out ofyou.
Okay, but if you lean in andyou and you really do the work
on taking care of you first,it's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, I love that I talk to women a lot about.
We cannot let how it feels turninto a belief, right.
We can't let like feeling lostturn into I am lost, or feeling
you know inadequate turn into Iam inadequate, right it just.
(19:16):
It keeps us from living intothe fullness of our dreams, our
desires and all the things.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yes, absolutely, I mean.
I think that you know this iseven when I used to coach in the
health and wellness space, Iused to say like you can't rely
on your feelings.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Feelings come and go.
They're important, they'reessential to recovery, right,
but yeah, you can't makedecisions.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
They are important but right.
But feelings, right, yeah, theycome and go, they're, they're
volatile, right, and so we can't.
I think that number one, wecan't rely on feelings to make
big decisions Like we have to.
You know, you can, you want tofeel them, because obviously
feeling them and work throughthem is what's going to allow
you to make the decision Right.
But I think that feelings comeand go and I think that we can't
, um, necessarily rely on them.
(19:56):
I this is what I used to tellmy women especially like, let's
just say they didn't feel likegetting up and working out in
the morning.
I know this is like differentthan you know, than going
through feelings of divorce, butI'm just saying kind of this
feeling of like we really wantto, I don't know, is it?
I?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
think we don't want to feel.
We don't want to feel thediscomfort, so we'll do anything
to bypass the discomfort,whether it's grieve the things
we need to grieve, or get yourass up and go to the gym Like
it's avoiding feeling Absolutely, and so I think, though, it's
like okay, listen, you can'trely, though.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
What I want you to do is like you think about what
your future self wants, right,so, whether or not that's, the
woman who just finished herworkout or it's the woman three
months from now who wants to,you know, just feel better next
week, wants to feel better latertoday, wants to feel better
Like, stop up.
We have to stop operating, Ithink, from the mode of being in
our feelings and makingdecisions on our feelings and
(20:44):
really more so, focus on, okay,what does my future self want,
what does my higher self want?
And and sometimes we, you know,we just we have to just kind of
put on our big girl pants andmake decisions from what our
future self wants, and I thinkthat that's I agree, like we
can't let our feelings define us.
I'm feeling does not turn intoI am right, absolutely.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay, Not every one of our listeners wants to start
a business.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
I know that's you know, it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
But for the mom listening who just wants to feel
less scared about money or lessscared about the future, what's
one thing she could do today tomake a difference around that
insecurity or that uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Girl, I always say the very first thing know your
money, Get a hold of your damnmoney.
So, just from a practicalstandpoint.
Right, if she is somebody whowants to feel better about her
money.
Know your money, right?
And so what does that look likeLike?
Yes, I know this is so damnbasic, but you should know where
every single dollar coming inand every single dollar coming
out looks like, I thinksometimes around money.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Why we get anxiety is because we just don't really
know, and I think we don't wantto feel, we don't want to look
because we don't want to feel it.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
We don't want to know , we don't want to feel it, but
you got to face it.
If you are, if you are spendingmore than you are bringing in
girl, you got to face that.
Okay, if you've got all kindsof debt, got all kinds of debt,
if you are, you know, if you've,you know, went through divorce
and you're in a really badposition financially.
And I talked to a lot of womenthat are and my heart goes out
to especially like the you know,like maybe the stay at home mom
(22:10):
that's now faced with having tolike get back into it, or the
you know just women who you knoware now having to go from one
income or two incomes to one.
You know it's scary.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
What about the woman who earns more than her husband
and she ends up having to paysome sort of alimony or child
support, and then that affectsthe income that she's used to
bring, and I talked to womenabout that Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Right.
So I think it's just if you,you know, I think that's that's
just, that's like ground zero.
You got to know your money, yougot to sit down If you've not
done this exercise, literallysitting down and you can, you
know, sign up for like an appthat connects your bank account
and contract things.
But, like I have an old schoollike Excel budget, Seriously, I
do it for my personal life and Ido it for my business.
(22:51):
I know where money's coming inand money's coming out.
So I think that that really isground zero for sure.
It's just knowing your numbersand knowing your money.
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, tell us about what you do with women, right?
Tell us about how you love towork with them.
What's it look like?
What's it look like to workwith you and what you offer and
the transformation you providewomen.
Walk us through it.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, god, I would love to you know I really work
with women just in buildingtheir businesses from the ground
up.
I mostly work.
I do work with a lot of womenwho want to take their
experience or their expertiseand either become a coach in the
online space or really justbuild any business in the online
space.
I actually have.
I have a, like a web developerthat I work with, right I've got
(23:38):
I'm a functional medicine Iwork with, right.
I've got a functional medicinepractitioner that I work with.
I've got a couple of therapiststhat I work with.
So it really is the woman whowants to either start her
business from, you know, groundzero in the online space, or
it's a woman that maybe wants totake her brick and mortar and
and be able to, you know, havemore freedom and autonomy and
more financial security bybuilding her own thing in the
(24:01):
online space.
So my, it is a a businessprogram.
So what I mean by that is I amfocusing on the business aspect
of it.
So, you know, really clearlydefining your niche, really
defining your offers, coming upwith your marketing and strategy
plan, and not just coming upwith a plan, but actually
(24:21):
showing you and teaching you youknow what?
How do you, step-by-step, growyour social media?
How do you produce content thatactually converts?
What's the selling aspect of itlike?
So I really do take women allthe way from hey, I've got this
idea, amber, this is what I'mthinking about doing all the way
to getting their first clientsand really, kind of what that
(24:41):
whole yeah, exactly so like ideato income, like what that whole
process looks like through,through building their business.
And so I you know, for me I'm sopassionate about this because I
wish I had you know a mentor,like when I first got going when
I was first I had all theseideas swirling in my mind and I
didn't really know what to do,and I I wasn't.
(25:03):
I had all those impostersyndrome and you know all the,
all the fears and doubts and allthat.
I just I wish I had somebodythat was holding my hand, that
could literally like just guideme through the process, and so
that's that's what I help womendo.
Have you ever pulled your humandesign chart?
Yes, I have Tell me, and you'regoing to ask me what it is, and
then I'm like okay, do Iremember what?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
it is.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No, okay, remind me.
So it's the generator, themanifestor, and what's the other
one?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The projector, projector, reflector yeah, but I
want to know what your numbersare, your personality profile
numbers.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I could totally look that up, but I definitely am the
projector are.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yes, I'm the projector.
You are the perfect person toconsult for people on their
businesses, right?
Yeah, I'm a projector from ahigher perspective.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, that is exactly .
I'm not not a generator, not amanifestor, definitely a
projector.
I feel like I'm like a two, Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I gotta look it up I feel like you're like a two also
, which I think I am a two.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
I think I'm a two numbers yeah, I think, oh my god
, okay.
Well, you know what?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
we're gonna come back to Okay.
Well, you know what.
We're going to come back tothis.
I'm going to let you know.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Cause, yeah, I'm like , I know, yeah, so like from a
human design standpoint.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
You, being a projector like you, are doing
what you are built for.
So when you talk about thatpull that you had spiritually
and what it feels like to liveinto alignment like fricking
yeah, you're like literallydoing it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, and you know it , yeah, and you know.
It's really funny because, as Imentioned, like now it's going
to drive me crazy that mynumbers are thanks a lot.
So I've had a lot of.
You know, when I was on thatspiritual quest, you know,
post-divorce, I had a lot ofspiritual teachers tell me that
the word that kept coming up forthem was teacher over and over
(26:38):
and over, like from alldifferent walks of life.
And so that's what I'm talkingabout.
When I said that, like when Ithink what's so important,
whether or not you want tocreate a business or not, like
when you're you're post-divorce,god, go like, take the time
because you will.
You will take the time to like,go down a journey, whether
that's just with yourself or ifyou are a spiritual person, like
(27:00):
a spiritual journey, becausethe information that you gain,
like again, like all of those,like confirmation, right, like
therapist you know, spiritualleader or therapist telling you
like I just keep hearing teacherThen for me I was like God, I
can't deny this Right.
But had I not kind of opened upmy eyes and started that
journey, I don't think I wouldhave had the guts to do it,
because I wouldn't have had allof that, I wouldn't have had all
(27:21):
of the nudges from the universealong the way telling me
exactly what I needed to do.
And that's what I'm saying whenI said it got to the point
where it was so undeniable.
That's why Because I had hadenough things be put in my path
that confirmed that that's whatI was supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yeah, yeah, awesome.
All right, amber, where shouldthey find you?
We ask this do you always askyour guests where should they
find you?
On instagram, obviously, Idon't know where else.
Anyways, where do you love toconnect with people most?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I love it, yes, instagram and it is me running
my instagram genuinely?
Love that yeah yes, I don'tlike meaning like, so send me a
message.
It genuinely is me, and I'mjust gonna warn you, I'm a big
voice noter, so if you send me amessage I'm probably going to
voice note you back.
I'm a voice noter.
That's just what I roll.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Later today you're going to voice note me about
your human design.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah, definitely I've already started like searching.
I'm like where the F is myhuman design.
I'm going to find this.
I know, like I said, I know I'mprojector.
I think Does three make senseor not?
That would not make sense.
No, that's probably not.
I know it's projector.
Then there's a two in there.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
but we're going to find it.
We're going to send it to you,Okay, fine.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Okay, so they should send you a DM and you're going
to send them a voice note, andthat's amazing.
I will, I will.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I just want to know what resonated, or, if you want,
it's going to resonate and I'mthrilled.
Yes, can I also shamelesslyplug my event that's coming up
though?
Yes, okay, listen you guys, Ihave an event coming up.
It's a free workshop.
It is called social to sold and, honestly, this workshop is all
about really how to leveragesocial media to get clients.
So, whether or not you'resomebody who's just been
thinking about starting somesort of business in the online
space or you've been, you know,kind of dabbling like posting,
maybe you've already tried kindof creating something in the
(29:09):
online space and you're notgetting traction, in this free
two day workshop, I'm going tobe walking, walking you through
my number one client attractionstrategy.
This is the exact strategy thatI use in scaling both of my
businesses to six figures withinthe first year both of them.
This is the exact, this exactstrategy that I teach my clients
that allows them to go fromzero to thousands of followers.
(29:34):
So not only growing yourfollowing, but then how do you
actually then leverage them andget clients out of it, turn
followers into clients?
So I'm going to be breaking allof that down.
It's going to be a little bitsocial media growth and also a
little bit of sales and, like Isaid, sharing my client
attraction, uh strategy, and I'mreally excited that's happening
September 9th and 11th.
So, um Don, I think you've gotthat link, so if we want to add
(29:57):
that to the show, notes I havepeople sign up and listen.
If you're not sure, if it's foryou, uh, and you have a question
about it, then just send me aDM and let's chat it out, let's
talk about it and I'll let youknow.
I'm very straightforward.
I'll let you know yes, it's agood fit, or no, it's not.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
No, it's not Love it, love it, love it.
Thank you so much for listeningand for being here with Amber
and I.
Until next week.
Peace, dear.
(30:36):
Divorce Diary is a podcast bymy coach, john.
You can find more atmycoachjohncom.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.