September 11, 2025 • 25 mins
When you’re in crisis, your nervous system isn’t neutral—it’s running survival programs. Fight, flight, freeze, repeat. And when you tell yourself “not now”, that’s not laziness or failure—it’s a protective pattern your body believes is keeping you safe.
But here’s the thing: survival mode isn’t meant to be permanent. It quietly drains your energy, feeds old beliefs like “I can’t do this,” and keeps you circling the same pain.
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, we explore:
✨ Why the nervous system convinces us to wait until things feel calmer before healing
✨ How beliefs like “not now” or “what if it doesn’t work” keep you locked in survival loops
✨ The energetic cost of staying in crisis—and what shifts when you allow safety to be restored
✨ What happens in the very first month of our program that helps women feel grounded, resourced, and ready for lasting change
Healing isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about creating safety, updating beliefs, and letting your body remember how to release what it’s been carrying.
🔗 Doors to A Different D Word close September 20. Book your clarity call today: mycoachdawn.com/a-different-d-word-the-online-divorce-recovery-community
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn
Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)
Instagram: (@coachtiffini)
On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com
A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Let me say something extraordinarily controversial.
Most therapists, as amazing andloving and space-holding as
they are, suck at moving peoplepast crisis.
They let you retell your chaos,they nod, and they may assign
(00:23):
you some homework, and then theysend you home to survive
another week, and it's no wonderthat you have to wait, that you
think you have to wait untilyou're more stable to actually
heal.
The thing is, though, thatcrisis is not a benign waiting
room where nothing is happening.
It's a quicksand of survivalmode with no obvious exit, and
(00:44):
it is charging your adrenalsinterest every single day.
Hi, love, welcome to DearDivorce Diary, the podcast
helping divorcees go beyond talktherapy to process your grief,
find the healing you crave andbuild back your confidence.
(01:05):
I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
Okay, my darlings, today we aregoing to discuss how staying
(01:34):
stuck in crisis and in this sortof loop of fight, flight,
freeze, repeat, fight, flight,freeze, repeat it keeps people
sort of never really able to getto this ultimate place where
they really want to go.
So we're going to talk aboutcrisis as a nervous system trap
and really look at the realquestion behind why we say not
(01:59):
now.
Right, what is the real issuebehind not now and how we
justify staying in the sort offight, flight, freeze, repeat
thing.
And we are also going to talkabout very specifically how our
program moves people out ofcrisis immediately, because I
think it's not enough to justsay, oh, trust us, that's going
(02:20):
to happen, but it's to reallylook at like, how do we get
women very, very quickly out ofcrisis mode so that they have a
picture, right, what happensbehind the scenes, so that you
know there's some confidence inI'm not going to spend months
and thousands of dollars waitingfor a result.
(02:41):
Okay, darlings, let's talkabout this sort of well.
First of all, let's justacknowledge that last week was
it last week?
We did a somatic workshop,right, for our premium
subscribers.
It was so cool.
We had several women attend.
We did several different sortof somatic techniques.
(03:01):
It was super, super powerfuland in that meeting, one of the
women and I just she is, I wouldsay, like someone we all hold
in our hearts.
She's up on our board of namesand someone that we just have
been in the conversation withfor a long time.
Right, she's, she's in ourhearts, but she talked about
being stuck in crisis mode, andthere have been many things she
(03:23):
said in conversations I've hadwith her recently that have
resonated so loudly, and I knowthat if she's saying these
things to me or to us, I knowthat many, many listeners are
experiencing what she'sexperiencing, and so much of
this episode was inspired by herand therefore by you.
You who is listening right now,yes, you, you, the one with
(03:45):
that thing right there and sothat's the joy of being in the
dialogue right With ourlisteners is really hearing
where they are and what they'restruggling with.
So, let's talk about the realstruggle behind.
I can't do it right now.
Now is not the time, because,like, what if that's true?
What if that's real?
What if I'm in crisis right nowfinancially, from a nervous
(04:07):
system perspective?
I don't have the energy, Idon't have the time, I don't
have the money and I have toomuch uncertainty and not enough
support.
Like, let's talk about thatcycle.
What is the real questionproblem?
Negative belief behind, not now.
What if I spend this money andI can't show up?
(04:27):
I can't get to the table?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
I would challenge that way of thinking, because
our program is so different, ourprogram is so different than
anything else out there.
There isn't an option of younot being moved, frankly, like
(04:52):
it's so immersive, it's sopowerful because we don't just
use one thing.
It's not a talk therapist whereyou spend all this money and
all this time and decades ofwork.
It's it's literally daily,weekly, monthly, like we are in
it with you and so the progressthat that you would get or that
(05:16):
will happen.
There's no question it willhappen.
We have testimonials anddocumentation and like proof in
the pudding right, like we havethe, we have the evidence, the
facts behind it.
So, like my question to you isyou're asking, you're sitting
there asking yourself like whatif I, if?
(05:37):
What if I jump and I don't havea parachute?
But like what if you jump andwe all surround you and envelop
you and not only do you have aparachute, you have multiple
parachutes?
And what if you have multipleparachutes and you land in a
giant big, fluffy pillow?
Like it's not what if I jumpwithout a parachute?
(06:00):
It's what would actually happenwhen you jump and you be held
and you get better, so like andyou get better.
Like what if you jump?
Because it's not a um, it's nota what if I spend this money or
(06:21):
take this time commitment or dothis thing and it doesn't work
because it will work?
It's what is stopping you fromactually being healed in this
journey.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Okay, I love that, but let's be devil's advocate.
Mm-hmm, I love being up so good, everything can't work for
everyone, because theneverything is nothing.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
But why not?
What's to say?
There's a limit, like there'sonly 10 people that get healed,
healed a year.
Like, why is there a limit onwho gets healed and why?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't think there's a limit, I think there's free
will and I think not everybodychooses Right, and I think every
modality doesn't work foreveryone.
And so just devil's advocate,right, devil's advocate, like.
You know, when I started doingEMDR and people would say like,
oh, that didn't work for me,like, and that was very hard for
me to accept, and then Icracked the code on why it
(07:23):
wasn't working, which wasdisassociation, right, and then
I solved for that.
And then, oh look, emdr works,but there is still, every now
and then, the random person thatit doesn't work for, and I get
that.
That's why we use like,literally like infinite
modalities over here becausewe're going to find a modality
that works for you, Right, butlet's just acknowledge that
people do heal on a spectrum andum that some people will make
(07:44):
more progress than others inthis program, Right, and that um
that is based on a whole hostof um elements and that may have
to do with resource, right,Like, and whatever that resource
is, whether it's time support,like brain capacity, nervous
system capacity, like things doexist on a spectrum and there
(08:05):
are a range of results, right.
So so we do want, we do wantthis to be like right place,
right time for women.
But how can a woman know if, ifshe's lying to herself about
the nervous system trap, right,and just is staying stuck in
(08:27):
crisis mode versus no, it's time, it's time, you know?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
I would feel like when everything you're doing is
not working anymore reaching forthe familiar stuff that you
used to go to and normally I'mgoing to from an IFS perspective
.
I'm going to say that those IFSperspective, I'm going to say
that those things you'rereaching for your firefighters.
So, whether it's alcohol, it'sdrugs, it's sex, it's exercise,
it's overeating, it'soverworking on your phone.
Yes, right, like you know, picka poison, basically, and if
(08:58):
those things are not workinganymore for you and it feels
like you are going to break,that is the point where you need
to admit to yourself that youcannot hold it all together and
you cannot do this by yourselfany longer.
And I think what makes us soincredibly different is that,
yes, we do have group aspects ofthe program.
However, everything iscustomized.
(09:19):
Your homeopathic remedies,which there are thousands that
we can pick from, are customizedfor you, for your trauma, for
your healing journey.
You know the IFS methods that Iwill use with you.
They are customized completelyfor you.
And where you're at in yourjourney EMDR, somatics every
like, just every part of ourprogram is custom made.
(09:40):
This is not a rinse and repeat,it is not a cookie cutter
program we are meeting you whereyou are, and that's where we
start.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So let's talk about the cost of not starting right,
Like what's the real downstreamcost of not starting?
And actually I want you to hearfrom a woman who was exactly
there, right Like feeling broken, drowning in bills, terrified
one more investment would breakher Very real health issues
unfolding and I want you tolisten to what she has to say
(10:11):
about walking through thatexperience.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
My healing journey was not pretty.
I struggled, I cried, I turnedto alcohol and I was even
diagnosed with a thyroidcondition.
I was literally broken.
I didn't even know who I waslooking at in the mirror.
Dawn, tiffany and Joy saw mytears as training and my pain as
(10:36):
preparation.
My breaking point was not theend.
It was the beginning for me andalthough I've completed the
program, I still have momentswhen I struggle and obstacles to
overcome.
But I now have the tools towork through those moments and
reclaim integrated wellness.
I'm still becoming, and that'smore than enough.
(10:59):
What was the hardest part forme before saying yes to a
different D word?
The financial commitment andthe fear of what if this doesn't
work.
I had already invested so muchof myself in podcasts, late
night reading andantidepressants.
I didn't know how I couldmanage daily living costs, my
(11:21):
attorney fees and, on top ofthat, a financial commitment to
a different D word.
I felt like I didn't have thetime or energy.
I was also afraid, to be honest, to ask for help, because that
would mean letting go of thislife I imagined and doing the
interpersonal work that wouldone day set me free.
(11:42):
It was what I was craving, andI didn't even realize it.
What shifted for me once I wasinside the program, healing in
community, with deep connection,letting myself finally be cared
for.
I now had a group of women Icould relate to and who were
showing up for me every singleday.
(12:04):
I was able to take off my maskwithout feelings of judgment,
and this allowed me to be honestwith myself and put in the
healing work that my mind andbody truly desired.
What would I say to the womanlistening right now who's scared
?
It won't work for her.
(12:24):
Don't stay stuck.
Don't try to heal in isolation.
This was the best investment Imade for my personal well-being.
Through homeopathy, ifs andsomatic work, I was able to shed
the layers of divorce griefthat were holding me back from a
life I truly deserved.
(12:46):
Take the leap, ladies.
I promise you won't regret it.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
It's so interesting listening to her share, right,
because, like, for instance,that thyroid diagnosis, it's
like homeopathy has a very realanswer for that and we just
started tackling it immediately,right, and I think that's the
thing that, as women, I wouldlike to say, the thing that
(13:11):
brought me to my knees and saidlike, oh shit, I cannot keep
avoiding or denying what's goingon here was a health crisis,
and I sort of hate that forwomen, that why is it that we
push ourselves into our bodies,say peace out, why does it take
getting to that profoundbreaking point?
Right, but that's what happenswhen we stay in survival mode or
(13:34):
crisis mode, right, is that?
There is this toll that's beingpaid on your adrenal system,
your metabolic system, and, um,I think that very, very often,
this is where women end upaccidentally suicidal, even.
Right, because it's likethey've found you know, one more
(13:55):
.
One more cosmetic procedure,one more workout workout, one
more good memory, yes, one moreantidepressant, right, one more
happy experience with my kid.
But then it's like, all of asudden, the body is slowly
wasting behind the scenes andthen you hit a wall.
(14:15):
And I'm not trying to be sometype of way, it's like it
happens.
It happened to me.
It happens to the women we workwith.
I see it every day in mypractice.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, my question for the listeners would be I would
love for you to just sit downand add up for me all of the
shit that you are buying toescape from your life.
When I took my daughter back toFort Bragg to show her all the
places that we lived in afour-year marriage, we lived in
(14:46):
seven places in a four-yearmarriage because every time shit
got bad we'd move and that wasour new start.
All the vacations we took toescape real life how much are
you spending on that?
How much are you spending onBotox, cosmetic things how much
are you spending on that?
How much are you spending?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
on Botox cosmetic things.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
How much are you spending on therapy?
How much is your medicationevery month that you are
spending for anxiety, you know?
And then those firefighters howmuch do you spend on alcohol a
week to go?
To the clubs to party?
How much are you spending onweed, those illicit drugs,
whatever you're reaching for,all those subscriptions that are
bullshit, that promise thatyou're going to get answers, the
meditation, everything how muchare you spending?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
to stay and how long have you been spending it.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Yeah, you know and then we talk about the health
crisis, and that's not cheap.
You know, when I was going towhere I had the urinary thing
going on because of stress andit's so scary.
I got a bill for a $7,400 CATscan.
What the fuck you know.
Yeah, and homeopathy cured it.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Homeopathy cured it in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Yeah, $1,400 bill after insurance was said and
done on something that I nevershould have experienced, never
had to go through.
That medicine couldn't give mean answer for Nobody could tell
me why.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I know I have spent probably hundreds of thousands
of dollars trying to recover.
Yeah, yeah, that soundsdramatic, but I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
No, I don't yeah the testing the testing.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
The testing, the non-insurance covered things
right?
It's yeah, and I think thatwe're going to see this more and
more and more with womenentering menopause too soon.
Like it's just the cascadingissues, right, of multisystemic
metabolic dysfunction it breaksmy heart, yeah.
(16:40):
Mm-hmm dysfunction it breaks myheart, yeah.
And you know, I think also weput a lot of pressure on
therapists.
Like you know, that therapistis is one person for one hour a
week, right, and and I think wesort of think, like we do it for
our kids too, right, like letme get my kid a therapist.
And then this just inordinateamount of like dysfunction, like
(17:04):
that that therapist will.
I think we put a lot ofpressure on therapists.
I don't think we have a clearpicture of what it actually
takes to really recover and heal.
And I think that you know ashard as I can sometimes be on
therapists because they don'tmove the needle, like maybe it's
an unreasonable expectation,you know they don't move the
needle, like maybe it's anunreasonable expectation, you
(17:25):
know joy you were telling me astory about someone we're
working with recently and yeah,so, um, yeah, so, uh.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
There's a woman who, um, I've come along the side and
I've been in the weeds with herRight and she's a patient of
Don's homeopathy homeopathy.
And she called me in crisisyesterday because she is going
to a talk therapist and the talktherapist is local, he's very
well respected, he's very wellequipped, he is kind of like the
go-to marriage therapist.
(17:57):
And she called me and she washysterically crying because, you
know, she used the phrase heopened this closet.
And it's like Monica's closetfrom Friends, where you open the
closet and the things juststart pouring out and it's like
coming in her dreams and it'scoming as she's working and like
(18:19):
all these things, thesememories.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
She's recovering memories.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, coming as she's working and like all, these
things, these, these recoveringmemories that have been like so
suppressed deep inside her.
But homeopathy is likereleasing.
So she goes to the to the talktherapist and sits on his couch
and he opens this closet andthen he says, oh, I'm booked for
the next three weeks, Come backthen.
And so meanwhile she's justleft holding all this stuff that
(18:43):
is falling out.
And so you know, I've been, shehas obviously us as a team.
Yeah, which is amazing, right,right right, but traditionally
like, or you know, like, um, if,if she wasn't with me, if she
wasn't with don, like if shewasn't with us, and then what
would she have?
Like she would literally beholding all this stuff and she
(19:04):
has three children and is and ismarried.
It's like all these thingswithout the immersive support
that that we offer.
And, um, it's heartbreaking,because how often do those
situations happen without?
Oh, I think every day every day.
Right and without the tools tohelp process and the and to
(19:28):
right.
You know, god gave us the thegift of dissociation.
but like without looking backopen you don't, it doesn't move
out of you, like you.
You just, we were trained as asociety to dissociate and then
move on Right Like that's notactually helpful and so, um,
it's.
It broke my heart yesterday andyou know we we definitely um,
(19:54):
gave her some tools and thingsto do and and checked on her
this morning and everything islike moving, but then she has to
dissociate.
She didn't go to work and shecan handle her kids Right.
So it's just like that constantchecking in and looping in and
like, okay, let's, let's makesure that it's you open back up
the closet, because you can'tjust keep that door closed,
because you don't ever move andshe is having physical symptoms
(20:16):
Like that was her breaking pointof coming to Dawn, because all
those physical symptoms havejust started.
It's, it's literally starts umhurting your body and you have
hormone imbalances and you havechronic pain and you have
constant, chronic anxiety andyou can only take so many
(20:39):
pharmaceuticals before you starthaving repercussions from all
those you know.
So it's just, it's like aspiral.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
So let's talk about like day one, month one, right
Like.
Let's give a very structuredstrategic behind the scenes look
of what does month one looklike?
How can women have aperspective for how month one is
going to get them grounded in alayered way?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
We literally hit the ground running.
You meet with Dawn, you getyour first phase of homeopathy,
you get your first IFS.
We want to get the first phase,or the first level, immediately
(21:30):
, because we value your time, wevalue this program, we value
your money.
We want to get the ball rolling.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
We're only happy when they're getting results Right.
So yeah, I.
I the women that have alreadyenrolled right.
They're already started.
They're one-on-ones, arealready booked with me.
Their homeopathic consult rightIs already booked with me.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Before open opening ceremony Right, so they're going
to have their remedies inprocess before opening ceremony,
which I like.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I like everyone to have their remedies in process
because then you'll experienceopening ceremony differently.
I looked in our little EMR thatwe use yesterday because
somebody had a question, likeone of the women had a question
for me and already Producer Joyhas uploaded well, tiffany has
uploaded the completed paperworkfor me to work from.
(22:21):
Producer Joy has alreadyuploaded their individual human
design charts and natal birthcharts.
Like we are such an immersive,thorough, whatever right.
So, and then open ceremony inand of itself, it's four hours
long.
You leave there shifted,grounded, connected, feeling a
sense of okay, these are thewomen I'm going to travel with,
(22:41):
so it feels safe to reach out inthe middle of the night when I
need something right.
There's a depth that we go today one week, one right, where
you're already coming into that,having moved energetically
because of the remedies, becauseof our initial intake and then
going deep very quickly, whichmight scare the pants off of you
(23:01):
, but that's what it takes.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Yeah, we definitely push outside of your comfort
zone because you don't growinside your comfort zone.
There's not deep penetratinghealing while you're in this
nice little like, we do gentlynudge you a little bit more out
of your comfort zone quickerthan you would expect, but, like
(23:27):
this past cohort has been sucha beautiful experience in terms
of like when you see a womanreach out and then the community
that comes behind them andsupports them and you know like
it.
It really is magic when you feelseen by and you and you would
never.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You know like you, would never necessarily
interface with that person inthe real world.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Yeah, Right, and it's different walks of life,
different experiences, but it'sso beautiful how we hold each
other and you're just held andseen.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
So, from our experience, if you are waiting
for crisis to pass, you areprobably going to be waiting a
very long time and paying a verysteep toll.
So doors close September 20th.
Either send me a DM myInstagram handle is at Dawn
Wiggins or book your claritycall today the link is in the
show notes and let's tackle theleap that gets you out of the
(24:31):
quicksand.
Today.
Dear Divorce Diary is a podcastby my coach, john.
You can find more atmycoachjohncom.
Let me say something extraordinarily controversial.
Most therapists, as amazing andloving and space-holding as
they are, suck at moving peoplepast crisis.
They let you retell your chaos,they nod, and they may assign
(00:23):
you some homework, and then theysend you home to survive
another week, and it's no wonderthat you have to wait, that you
think you have to wait untilyou're more stable to actually
heal.
The thing is, though, thatcrisis is not a benign waiting
room where nothing is happening.
It's a quicksand of survivalmode with no obvious exit, and
(00:44):
it is charging your adrenalsinterest every single day.
Hi, love, welcome to DearDivorce Diary, the podcast
helping divorcees go beyond talktherapy to process your grief,
find the healing you crave andbuild back your confidence.
(01:05):
I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
Okay, my darlings, today we aregoing to discuss how staying
(01:34):
stuck in crisis and in this sortof loop of fight, flight,
freeze, repeat, fight, flight,freeze, repeat it keeps people
sort of never really able to getto this ultimate place where
they really want to go.
So we're going to talk aboutcrisis as a nervous system trap
and really look at the realquestion behind why we say not
(01:59):
now.
Right, what is the real issuebehind not now and how we
justify staying in the sort offight, flight, freeze, repeat
thing.
And we are also going to talkabout very specifically how our
program moves people out ofcrisis immediately, because I
think it's not enough to justsay, oh, trust us, that's going
(02:20):
to happen, but it's to reallylook at like, how do we get
women very, very quickly out ofcrisis mode so that they have a
picture, right, what happensbehind the scenes, so that you
know there's some confidence inI'm not going to spend months
and thousands of dollars waitingfor a result.
(02:41):
Okay, darlings, let's talkabout this sort of well.
First of all, let's justacknowledge that last week was
it last week?
We did a somatic workshop,right, for our premium
subscribers.
It was so cool.
We had several women attend.
We did several different sortof somatic techniques.
(03:01):
It was super, super powerfuland in that meeting, one of the
women and I just she is, I wouldsay, like someone we all hold
in our hearts.
She's up on our board of namesand someone that we just have
been in the conversation withfor a long time.
Right, she's, she's in ourhearts, but she talked about
being stuck in crisis mode, andthere have been many things she
(03:23):
said in conversations I've hadwith her recently that have
resonated so loudly, and I knowthat if she's saying these
things to me or to us, I knowthat many, many listeners are
experiencing what she'sexperiencing, and so much of
this episode was inspired by herand therefore by you.
You who is listening right now,yes, you, you, the one with
(03:45):
that thing right there and sothat's the joy of being in the
dialogue right With ourlisteners is really hearing
where they are and what they'restruggling with.
So, let's talk about the realstruggle behind.
I can't do it right now.
Now is not the time, because,like, what if that's true?
What if that's real?
What if I'm in crisis right nowfinancially, from a nervous
(04:07):
system perspective?
I don't have the energy, Idon't have the time, I don't
have the money and I have toomuch uncertainty and not enough
support.
Like, let's talk about thatcycle.
What is the real questionproblem?
Negative belief behind, not now.
What if I spend this money andI can't show up?
(04:27):
I can't get to the table?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
I would challenge that way of thinking, because
our program is so different, ourprogram is so different than
anything else out there.
There isn't an option of younot being moved, frankly, like
(04:52):
it's so immersive, it's sopowerful because we don't just
use one thing.
It's not a talk therapist whereyou spend all this money and
all this time and decades ofwork.
It's it's literally daily,weekly, monthly, like we are in
it with you and so the progressthat that you would get or that
(05:16):
will happen.
There's no question it willhappen.
We have testimonials anddocumentation and like proof in
the pudding right, like we havethe, we have the evidence, the
facts behind it.
So, like my question to you isyou're asking, you're sitting
there asking yourself like whatif I, if?
(05:37):
What if I jump and I don't havea parachute?
But like what if you jump andwe all surround you and envelop
you and not only do you have aparachute, you have multiple
parachutes?
And what if you have multipleparachutes and you land in a
giant big, fluffy pillow?
Like it's not what if I jumpwithout a parachute?
(06:00):
It's what would actually happenwhen you jump and you be held
and you get better, so like andyou get better.
Like what if you jump?
Because it's not a um, it's nota what if I spend this money or
(06:21):
take this time commitment or dothis thing and it doesn't work
because it will work?
It's what is stopping you fromactually being healed in this
journey.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Okay, I love that, but let's be devil's advocate.
Mm-hmm, I love being up so good, everything can't work for
everyone, because theneverything is nothing.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
But why not?
What's to say?
There's a limit, like there'sonly 10 people that get healed,
healed a year.
Like, why is there a limit onwho gets healed and why?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't think there's a limit, I think there's free
will and I think not everybodychooses Right, and I think every
modality doesn't work foreveryone.
And so just devil's advocate,right, devil's advocate, like.
You know, when I started doingEMDR and people would say like,
oh, that didn't work for me,like, and that was very hard for
me to accept, and then Icracked the code on why it
(07:23):
wasn't working, which wasdisassociation, right, and then
I solved for that.
And then, oh look, emdr works,but there is still, every now
and then, the random person thatit doesn't work for, and I get
that.
That's why we use like,literally like infinite
modalities over here becausewe're going to find a modality
that works for you, Right, butlet's just acknowledge that
people do heal on a spectrum andum that some people will make
(07:44):
more progress than others inthis program, Right, and that um
that is based on a whole hostof um elements and that may have
to do with resource, right,Like, and whatever that resource
is, whether it's time support,like brain capacity, nervous
system capacity, like things doexist on a spectrum and there
(08:05):
are a range of results, right.
So so we do want, we do wantthis to be like right place,
right time for women.
But how can a woman know if, ifshe's lying to herself about
the nervous system trap, right,and just is staying stuck in
(08:27):
crisis mode versus no, it's time, it's time, you know?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
I would feel like when everything you're doing is
not working anymore reaching forthe familiar stuff that you
used to go to and normally I'mgoing to from an IFS perspective
.
I'm going to say that those IFSperspective, I'm going to say
that those things you'rereaching for your firefighters.
So, whether it's alcohol, it'sdrugs, it's sex, it's exercise,
it's overeating, it'soverworking on your phone.
Yes, right, like you know, picka poison, basically, and if
(08:58):
those things are not workinganymore for you and it feels
like you are going to break,that is the point where you need
to admit to yourself that youcannot hold it all together and
you cannot do this by yourselfany longer.
And I think what makes us soincredibly different is that,
yes, we do have group aspects ofthe program.
However, everything iscustomized.
(09:19):
Your homeopathic remedies,which there are thousands that
we can pick from, are customizedfor you, for your trauma, for
your healing journey.
You know the IFS methods that Iwill use with you.
They are customized completelyfor you.
And where you're at in yourjourney EMDR, somatics every
like, just every part of ourprogram is custom made.
(09:40):
This is not a rinse and repeat,it is not a cookie cutter
program we are meeting you whereyou are, and that's where we
start.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So let's talk about the cost of not starting right,
Like what's the real downstreamcost of not starting?
And actually I want you to hearfrom a woman who was exactly
there, right Like feeling broken, drowning in bills, terrified
one more investment would breakher Very real health issues
unfolding and I want you tolisten to what she has to say
(10:11):
about walking through thatexperience.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
My healing journey was not pretty.
I struggled, I cried, I turnedto alcohol and I was even
diagnosed with a thyroidcondition.
I was literally broken.
I didn't even know who I waslooking at in the mirror.
Dawn, tiffany and Joy saw mytears as training and my pain as
(10:36):
preparation.
My breaking point was not theend.
It was the beginning for me andalthough I've completed the
program, I still have momentswhen I struggle and obstacles to
overcome.
But I now have the tools towork through those moments and
reclaim integrated wellness.
I'm still becoming, and that'smore than enough.
(10:59):
What was the hardest part forme before saying yes to a
different D word?
The financial commitment andthe fear of what if this doesn't
work.
I had already invested so muchof myself in podcasts, late
night reading andantidepressants.
I didn't know how I couldmanage daily living costs, my
(11:21):
attorney fees and, on top ofthat, a financial commitment to
a different D word.
I felt like I didn't have thetime or energy.
I was also afraid, to be honest, to ask for help, because that
would mean letting go of thislife I imagined and doing the
interpersonal work that wouldone day set me free.
(11:42):
It was what I was craving, andI didn't even realize it.
What shifted for me once I wasinside the program, healing in
community, with deep connection,letting myself finally be cared
for.
I now had a group of women Icould relate to and who were
showing up for me every singleday.
(12:04):
I was able to take off my maskwithout feelings of judgment,
and this allowed me to be honestwith myself and put in the
healing work that my mind andbody truly desired.
What would I say to the womanlistening right now who's scared
?
It won't work for her.
(12:24):
Don't stay stuck.
Don't try to heal in isolation.
This was the best investment Imade for my personal well-being.
Through homeopathy, ifs andsomatic work, I was able to shed
the layers of divorce griefthat were holding me back from a
life I truly deserved.
(12:46):
Take the leap, ladies.
I promise you won't regret it.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
It's so interesting listening to her share, right,
because, like, for instance,that thyroid diagnosis, it's
like homeopathy has a very realanswer for that and we just
started tackling it immediately,right, and I think that's the
thing that, as women, I wouldlike to say, the thing that
(13:11):
brought me to my knees and saidlike, oh shit, I cannot keep
avoiding or denying what's goingon here was a health crisis,
and I sort of hate that forwomen, that why is it that we
push ourselves into our bodies,say peace out, why does it take
getting to that profoundbreaking point?
Right, but that's what happenswhen we stay in survival mode or
(13:34):
crisis mode, right, is that?
There is this toll that's beingpaid on your adrenal system,
your metabolic system, and, um,I think that very, very often,
this is where women end upaccidentally suicidal, even.
Right, because it's likethey've found you know, one more
(13:55):
.
One more cosmetic procedure,one more workout workout, one
more good memory, yes, one moreantidepressant, right, one more
happy experience with my kid.
But then it's like, all of asudden, the body is slowly
wasting behind the scenes andthen you hit a wall.
(14:15):
And I'm not trying to be sometype of way, it's like it
happens.
It happened to me.
It happens to the women we workwith.
I see it every day in mypractice.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
Yeah, my question for the listeners would be I would
love for you to just sit downand add up for me all of the
shit that you are buying toescape from your life.
When I took my daughter back toFort Bragg to show her all the
places that we lived in afour-year marriage, we lived in
(14:46):
seven places in a four-yearmarriage because every time shit
got bad we'd move and that wasour new start.
All the vacations we took toescape real life how much are
you spending on that?
How much are you spending onBotox, cosmetic things how much
are you spending on that?
How much are you spending?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
on Botox cosmetic things.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
How much are you spending on therapy?
How much is your medicationevery month that you are
spending for anxiety, you know?
And then those firefighters howmuch do you spend on alcohol a
week to go?
To the clubs to party?
How much are you spending onweed, those illicit drugs,
whatever you're reaching for,all those subscriptions that are
bullshit, that promise thatyou're going to get answers, the
meditation, everything how muchare you spending?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
to stay and how long have you been spending it.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Yeah, you know and then we talk about the health
crisis, and that's not cheap.
You know, when I was going towhere I had the urinary thing
going on because of stress andit's so scary.
I got a bill for a $7,400 CATscan.
What the fuck you know.
Yeah, and homeopathy cured it.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Homeopathy cured it in a couple of weeks.
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Yeah, $1,400 bill after insurance was said and
done on something that I nevershould have experienced, never
had to go through.
That medicine couldn't give mean answer for Nobody could tell
me why.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I know I have spent probably hundreds of thousands
of dollars trying to recover.
Yeah, yeah, that soundsdramatic, but I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
No, I don't yeah the testing the testing.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
The testing, the non-insurance covered things
right?
It's yeah, and I think thatwe're going to see this more and
more and more with womenentering menopause too soon.
Like it's just the cascadingissues, right, of multisystemic
metabolic dysfunction it breaksmy heart, yeah.
(16:40):
Mm-hmm dysfunction it breaks myheart, yeah.
And you know, I think also weput a lot of pressure on
therapists.
Like you know, that therapistis is one person for one hour a
week, right, and and I think wesort of think, like we do it for
our kids too, right, like letme get my kid a therapist.
And then this just inordinateamount of like dysfunction, like
(17:04):
that that therapist will.
I think we put a lot ofpressure on therapists.
I don't think we have a clearpicture of what it actually
takes to really recover and heal.
And I think that you know ashard as I can sometimes be on
therapists because they don'tmove the needle, like maybe it's
an unreasonable expectation,you know they don't move the
needle, like maybe it's anunreasonable expectation, you
(17:25):
know joy you were telling me astory about someone we're
working with recently and yeah,so, um, yeah, so, uh.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
There's a woman who, um, I've come along the side and
I've been in the weeds with herRight and she's a patient of
Don's homeopathy homeopathy.
And she called me in crisisyesterday because she is going
to a talk therapist and the talktherapist is local, he's very
well respected, he's very wellequipped, he is kind of like the
go-to marriage therapist.
(17:57):
And she called me and she washysterically crying because, you
know, she used the phrase heopened this closet.
And it's like Monica's closetfrom Friends, where you open the
closet and the things juststart pouring out and it's like
coming in her dreams and it'scoming as she's working and like
(18:19):
all these things, thesememories.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
She's recovering memories.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Yeah, coming as she's working and like all, these
things, these, these recoveringmemories that have been like so
suppressed deep inside her.
But homeopathy is likereleasing.
So she goes to the to the talktherapist and sits on his couch
and he opens this closet andthen he says, oh, I'm booked for
the next three weeks, Come backthen.
And so meanwhile she's justleft holding all this stuff that
(18:43):
is falling out.
And so you know, I've been, shehas obviously us as a team.
Yeah, which is amazing, right,right right, but traditionally
like, or you know, like, um, if,if she wasn't with me, if she
wasn't with don, like if shewasn't with us, and then what
would she have?
Like she would literally beholding all this stuff and she
(19:04):
has three children and is and ismarried.
It's like all these thingswithout the immersive support
that that we offer.
And, um, it's heartbreaking,because how often do those
situations happen without?
Oh, I think every day every day.
Right and without the tools tohelp process and the and to
(19:28):
right.
You know, god gave us the thegift of dissociation.
but like without looking backopen you don't, it doesn't move
out of you, like you.
You just, we were trained as asociety to dissociate and then
move on Right Like that's notactually helpful and so, um,
it's.
It broke my heart yesterday andyou know we we definitely um,
(19:54):
gave her some tools and thingsto do and and checked on her
this morning and everything islike moving, but then she has to
dissociate.
She didn't go to work and shecan handle her kids Right.
So it's just like that constantchecking in and looping in and
like, okay, let's, let's makesure that it's you open back up
the closet, because you can'tjust keep that door closed,
because you don't ever move andshe is having physical symptoms
(20:16):
Like that was her breaking pointof coming to Dawn, because all
those physical symptoms havejust started.
It's, it's literally starts umhurting your body and you have
hormone imbalances and you havechronic pain and you have
constant, chronic anxiety andyou can only take so many
(20:39):
pharmaceuticals before you starthaving repercussions from all
those you know.
So it's just, it's like aspiral.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
So let's talk about like day one, month one, right
Like.
Let's give a very structuredstrategic behind the scenes look
of what does month one looklike?
How can women have aperspective for how month one is
going to get them grounded in alayered way?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
We literally hit the ground running.
You meet with Dawn, you getyour first phase of homeopathy,
you get your first IFS.
We want to get the first phase,or the first level, immediately
(21:30):
, because we value your time, wevalue this program, we value
your money.
We want to get the ball rolling.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
We're only happy when they're getting results Right.
So yeah, I.
I the women that have alreadyenrolled right.
They're already started.
They're one-on-ones, arealready booked with me.
Their homeopathic consult rightIs already booked with me.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Before open opening ceremony Right, so they're going
to have their remedies inprocess before opening ceremony,
which I like.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I like everyone to have their remedies in process
because then you'll experienceopening ceremony differently.
I looked in our little EMR thatwe use yesterday because
somebody had a question, likeone of the women had a question
for me and already Producer Joyhas uploaded well, tiffany has
uploaded the completed paperworkfor me to work from.
(22:21):
Producer Joy has alreadyuploaded their individual human
design charts and natal birthcharts.
Like we are such an immersive,thorough, whatever right.
So, and then open ceremony inand of itself, it's four hours
long.
You leave there shifted,grounded, connected, feeling a
sense of okay, these are thewomen I'm going to travel with,
(22:41):
so it feels safe to reach out inthe middle of the night when I
need something right.
There's a depth that we go today one week, one right, where
you're already coming into that,having moved energetically
because of the remedies, becauseof our initial intake and then
going deep very quickly, whichmight scare the pants off of you
(23:01):
, but that's what it takes.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Yeah, we definitely push outside of your comfort
zone because you don't growinside your comfort zone.
There's not deep penetratinghealing while you're in this
nice little like, we do gentlynudge you a little bit more out
of your comfort zone quickerthan you would expect, but, like
(23:27):
this past cohort has been sucha beautiful experience in terms
of like when you see a womanreach out and then the community
that comes behind them andsupports them and you know like
it.
It really is magic when you feelseen by and you and you would
never.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
You know like you, would never necessarily
interface with that person inthe real world.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Yeah, Right, and it's different walks of life,
different experiences, but it'sso beautiful how we hold each
other and you're just held andseen.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
So, from our experience, if you are waiting
for crisis to pass, you areprobably going to be waiting a
very long time and paying a verysteep toll.
So doors close September 20th.
Either send me a DM myInstagram handle is at Dawn
Wiggins or book your claritycall today the link is in the
show notes and let's tackle theleap that gets you out of the
(24:31):
quicksand.
Today.
Dear Divorce Diary is a podcastby my coach, john.
You can find more atmycoachjohncom.
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