Ep. 270 - Married to Grief After Divorce — Breaking the Addiction

For many women, divorce grief doesn’t just fade with time — it loops. You revisit the what-ifs, you cling to the ache, you replay the story until it feels less like healing and more like obsession. In this subscriber-only episode, we dive into why grief after divorce can feel like something you’re “married” to and what it really takes to break free.

Inside this episode:

• Why grief sometimes becomes an identity you can’t shake.
• How the looping “obsession” keeps you tethered to the pain.
• What it takes — from nervous system support to trauma-informed tools — to finally loosen grief’s grip.

If you’ve felt secretly bound to your grief, know this: you’re not broken, you’re caught in a pattern that can shift. Take the Divorce Recovery Nervous System Quiz to discover how your nervous system type feeds the loop — and get tailored practices, resources, and episodes that help you move forward with confidence.

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A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Some people hide their lovers, but you love hide
your grief.
You sneak off to visit it whenno one's looking.
Your chest aches, your throattightens and for a moment you're
not numb and you tell yourselfit's about remembering.
But the truth is you're alsoaddicted to the hurt.
It's like grief is your secretlover and you're not sure who

(00:22):
you'd be without it.
And this week on Dear DivorceDiary for subscribers only we're
talking about the way grief canfeel addictive and what it
takes to walk away from the onething that helps you feel alive.
Hi love, welcome to Dear DivorceDiary, the podcast helping

(00:44):
divorcees go beyond talk therapyto process your grief, find the
healing you crave and buildback your confidence.
I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.
One of the things we talkedabout when we were getting ready

(01:16):
to record this episode is thisidea that we've run into that
grief actually doesn't getsmaller necessarily as life goes
on, but that life gets bigger.
And as life gets bigger weperceive that the grief is
smaller, but for very, very manywomen recovering from divorce
in a modern age, that doesn'tseem to be happening, and it

(01:39):
sometimes feels like the griefis looping and that it's
something that you're gettingstuck in or maybe addicted to,
and so we're going to witnessthe woman today who is in this
process, and by the end of theepisode, I believe
wholeheartedly that you willunderstand why you're stuck in

(01:59):
this and what needs to shift inorder to help your life grow
bigger around the grief, even ifit doesn't grow smaller.
You can access the full episodeby becoming a premium subscriber
, which is just $5 a month.
Scroll down to the show notesand click the link where you'll
get your very own individualizedRSS feed for your podcast app.

(02:22):
Dear Divorce Diary is a podcastby my coach, john.
You can find more atmycoachjohncom.