Ep. 272. The Secrets Divorced Moms Carry: Shame, Silence, and the Search for Freedom

Divorced moms carry secrets no one talks about.
The things their ex did behind closed doors.
The moments with their kids they can’t admit out loud — not because they’re weak, but because protecting their children comes first.

In this premium episode of Dear Divorce Diary, we crack open the hidden stories that weigh the heaviest:

• His secrets you’ve protected — and the resentment that builds from carrying them.
• Your own secrets — the rage, the shame, the things you fear make you a “bad mom.”
• The deeper secret about secrets — why it’s rarely the story itself that keeps you stuck, but the shame welded to it.

What if true freedom isn’t about being believed… but about finding peace without anyone else’s validation?
 Let’s dig in.

If you’ve felt secretly bound to your grief, know this: you’re not broken, you’re caught in a pattern that can shift. Take the Divorce Recovery Nervous System Quiz to discover how your nervous system type feeds the loop — and get tailored practices, resources, and episodes that help you move forward with confidence.

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A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Divorced moms keep secrets that no one talks about.
The things their ex did behindclosed doors, the moments with
their kids they can't admit outloud, not because they're weak,
but because protecting theirchildren comes before calling
out the truth.
And in this episode, we arecracking open those hidden
stories and asking, what iffreedom isn't about finally

(00:21):
being believed about thosesecrets, but about finding peace
without anyone else'svalidation?
How do you do that?
Hi, love.
Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary,the podcast helping divorcees go
beyond talk therapy to processyour grief, find the healing you

(00:44):
crave, and build back yourconfidence.
I'm your host, Don Wiggins, atherapist, coach, integrative
healer, and divorcee.
Join me for a fresh approach tohealing grief and building your
confidence after divorce.

(01:05):
Okay, today's episode isintense.
We are going to talk about hissecrets that you're keeping.
It's not, it's the secrets thatyou carry, you hide what really
happened, and people who wouldbe shocked if the truth slipped
out, right?
There's these things that youdon't know if or when or how to
say them to your kids, and youoften want to blurt them out,
but you just, you know, areinvested in protecting your

(01:27):
kiddos.
So first we're gonna talk abouthis secrets.
Then we're gonna talk about yoursecrets and your own shame,
right?
Because we all have our ownsecrets, the things that we are
terrified if other people saw usor knew we did this thing or
that thing, that they would befor sure that we are a bad mom.
And those secrets feel really,really heavy, and we carry those
as well.

(01:47):
And then we're gonna talk aboutthe secret about secrets,
because that is really the keyto unlocking all of this, right?
The part that no one tells youis the secret itself is rarely
the problem.
Rarely.
Every now and then, but nottypically.
It's actually the shame weldedto it, and the shame shame in
general is the one thing thatyou cannot heal in the dark.

(02:10):
Let's dig in.
You can access the full episodeby becoming a premium
subscriber, which is just fivedollars a month.
Scroll down to the show notesand click the link where you'll
get your very own individualizedRSS feed for your podcast app.

(02:38):
You can find more atmycoachdawn.com.