June 4, 2024 • 33 mins
In this episode of the Defiant Health podcast, I interview life coach, Molly Zemek. Molly comes from the unique background of having worked as a Le Cordon Bleu formally-trained French chef for 10 years. She is also a certified sommelier. But, with this intensive background in food and wine, she found herself falling victim to uncontrolled eating and drinking impulses. She then turned her attention to gaining control over her eating and drinking impulses and now, as a life coach, helps others deal with their temptations and impulses. She does so through her new book “Decoding Your Emotional Appetite: A Food Lover’s Guide to Weight Loss” and her podcast “Weight Loss for Food Lovers” where she brings the lessons learned from her own journey and that of her coaching clients.
We also dive into the complexities of managing alcohol consumption, especially from the perspective of a trained sommelier. Molly shares her insights on mindful drinking, including techniques like keeping a diary of alcohol intake and planning intentional choices. Discover how to appreciate the art of wine and food pairing without excess and find new ways to relax and connect without relying on alcohol. Molly's unique blend of culinary expertise and life coaching offers a holistic approach to achieving balance and healthy living. Don't miss this enlightening conversation that can help you develop a healthier relationship with food and drink.
More from Molly Zemek:
Molly’s new book: Decoding Your Emotional Appetite
Molly’s podcast: Weight Loss for Food Lovers
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A 15% discount is available for Defiant Health podcast listeners by entering discount code UNDOC15 (case-sensitive) at checkout.*
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For 12% off every order of grass-fed and pasture-raised meats from Wild Pastures, go here.
Books:
Super Gut: The 4-Week Plan to Reprogram Your Microbiome, Restore Health, and Lose Weight
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
In this episode of Defiant Health Podcast, I
interview life coach MollyZemeck.
Molly comes from the uniquebackground of having worked as a
Le Cordon Bleu, formerlytrained French chef for 10 years
.
She's also a certifiedsommelier.
But with this intensivebackground in food and wine, she
found herself falling victim touncontrolled eating and
(00:27):
drinking impulses.
She then turned her attentionto gaining control over her
eating and drinking impulses andnow, as a life coach, helps
others deal with theirtemptations.
She does so through her newbook, decoding your Emotional
Appetite A Food Lover's Guide toWeight Loss, and her podcast,
weight Loss for Food Lovers,where she brings the lessons
(00:48):
learned from her own journey andthat of her coaching clients.
And later in the podcast I'dlike to tell you about Define
Health sponsors Paleo Valley,our preferred provider for many
excellent organic and grass-fedfood products, and Biodiquest,
my number one choice forprobiotics that are
scientifically formulated,unlike most of the other
commercial probiotic productsavailable today.
(01:10):
Welcome, molly.
Thanks for joining me on thispodcast episode.
You and I have kind of gottento know each other because we
share an interest, of course, inhealthy eating.
But you know, I like having youon my podcast because you fill
a gap that I don't fill at all,or at least not very well.
That is this notion ofemotional eating.
(01:32):
Could you tell me how you fellinto this?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, I identify myself as a lifelong food lover
and spent a lot of years reallypursuing that passion for food
and then later my passion forwine.
I became certified as a chef,certified as a sommelier, and
spent a lot of my free time justpursuing this love of food,
(01:56):
really just enjoying differentflavors, traveling around the
world, cooking.
But I got to this point when Iwas in my 40s where I really
just felt kind of powerlessaround food, almost like I just
couldn't really control myselfand I wondered why other people
were able to kind of manage howmuch they ate.
But I felt like I just alwayswanted more time.
(02:20):
Also that I was trying to loseweight because since I had such
a big appetite, an emotionalappetite for food, I wasn't able
to really lose weight the way Idid as a young person.
I couldn't really follow thesame diets and see the same
results.
So I knew that I needed adifferent approach and I really
wanted to get a better handle onkind of the sensational
(02:42):
appetite that I had for food.
And so I spent a lot of time,you know, really trying to
figure out the root reasonsbehind my eating and drinking,
because it really wasn't makingme happy.
I felt like I was less and lesssatisfied the more I ate and
drank, and I just started tojust kind of differentiate
between my physical appetite forfood and then what I call kind
(03:05):
of an emotional appetite, whichis the desire for food.
And so I was also going throughtraining to become a life coach,
and so I was really justlearning a lot more about
mindfulness and body awarenessand I realized, you know, a lot
of my passion for food wasdriven by emotional reasons, not
(03:25):
by physical appetite.
And so that's kind of how Istarted this, this journey of
self-awareness to sort ofunderstand, okay, if I'm not
eating for physical reasons,what are the emotional reasons
why I'm eating?
And from that place ofawareness I was able to identify
oh okay, I'm using food to filla void either in, you know,
(03:46):
personal relationships andwanting to connect with people,
because I'm not feelingcreatively satisfied, and so
food is a way that I justexperienced momentary pleasure.
And anyway, I began connectingthe dots, like all the emotional
reasons that needed to besatisfied in other ways, and
once I began satisfying thoseneeds, it completely changed my
(04:06):
life, because I felt much morein control around food, much
more aware of my body, and I wasmore deeply satisfied because I
was really satisfying the needsthat needed to be met without
food and alcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So if I hear you it came through a process of
self-examination,self-reflection, I hear you it
came through a process ofself-examination,
self-reflection not 10 years ofpsychotherapy or Prozac, no, no.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It also, I think, happened as the result of the
coach training that I was goingthrough at the same time.
So I became a lot more familiarwith the role of our thinking
and our emotions, in terms ofwhat motivates us to act the way
that we do and how to reallystart to observe typical thought
patterns you have that driveactions that you don't
necessarily want, so that youcan change those thought
(04:54):
patterns, and how to just be alot more connected to my body.
So it was sort of theconfluence of all of those
things and as a result I wrote abook that just came out that's
called Decoding your EmotionalAppetite, where I really help
people identify the emotionalreasons why they might turn to
food and how to start solvingfor some of those needs without
(05:14):
eating and drinking.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So you've seen your experience pretty much mirrored
in other people with similarstruggles.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
I mean, there's just someuniversal reasons why we
mindlessly turn to food or manyof us overdrink, and you know,
(05:47):
based on sort of those patterns,I put together a list of
emotional appetites that peoplecan start to identify in their
own lives as reasons why, youknow, they might feel out of
control around food and alcohol.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Could you give some specifics?
Are we talking about suchthings as childhood trauma, an
overbearing mother, a passivefather?
What sorts of things are wetalking about?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Certainly those can be potential reasons, although
situations like that arecertainly better suited for
therapy when it's dealing withpast trauma or issues in the
past that make it hard to reallyfunction now and move forward.
But in coaching we really sortof look at okay, if I'm turning
(06:30):
to food in this particularmoment and I'm not physically
hungry, what else might be goingon?
What happened before I decidedto show up in the pantry and
start, you know, raiding thecupboards and eating, or you
know what was going on the daybefore or how was I feeling in
that moment?
And what I noticed is thatoftentimes people will turn to
(06:53):
food if they're bored, so theywill turn to food as a way to
cope with stress.
They will use food as a way toconnect with other people, which
, as you know, is super common.
But when we feel obligated toeat as a way to connect, that
can often feel overeating andover drinking for many people,
and then also just for the sheerpleasure of eating.
(07:13):
You know, out of that desire tojust experience more pleasure
and offset the discomfort, thathappens when we feel emotions
that we're not used to managing,and that's another thing that
happens with a lot of people iswhen they're not really taught
the skill of how to processemotions or how to just validate
how they're feeling and, likeme, they probably didn't learn
(07:35):
how to do that as a child, andso food is just the convenient
go-to as a way to just try andfeel better in the moment, and
over time that turns into a badhabit.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Have you found that the strategies to reduce
emotional eating are pretty muchthe same as that for excessive
drinking, at least in someinstances?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's very similar, although it's slightly different
, and you know a lot about thenature of different kinds of
foods and how certain kinds offoods can almost be addictive in
terms of the way that ourbrains respond to them and in
terms of sort of the physicalresponse we have when we're
eating them and we feelcompelled to eat more or to
compulsively eat them because ofhow they're made or the
(08:17):
ingredients in them.
And so that's another kind ofthing that we consider when
we're talking about changingover drinking is that you
certainly can bring mindfulnessto the reasons why you might be
drinking more than you want to,but you also have to factor in
the role of alcohol and itseffect on your brain, and that
you know, by its very nature itwill, you know, obviously affect
(08:41):
your consciousness in themoment, affect your ability to
really think rationally and alsocreate a lot more desire to
have more.
Now, that's not to say that youcan't still be in control and
have a moderate amount.
It's not possible for everybody, but for a lot of people.
Just bringing awareness to youknow, how much do I ideally want
to be drinking?
How can I make a plan formyself ahead of time and say,
(09:02):
okay, tonight I really just wantto have one glass of wine, not
three, and here's how I'm goingto stay fully conscious while
I'm trying to drink it.
You know, really notice kind ofhow I'm feeling, really pay
attention to any urges that comeup and have a plan for how I'm
going to transition away fromdrinking when I'm done and just
have it be a much more focusedexperience.
And so people find that whenthey bring that high level of
(09:24):
focus to it, they can be incontrol.
So it's similar with food, butfood and alcohol are slightly
different in terms of how weapproach it.
But it's all about makingintentional choices and then
noticing how our bodies respondwhen we eat or drink these
things and then reallyprioritizing feeling good above
all else.
So recognizing you know what,when I eat this way, when I
(09:45):
drink this things, and thenreally prioritizing feeling good
above all else.
So recognizing you know what,when I eat this way, when I
drink this way, I don't feelthat great.
I don't know that I truly wantthis, even though my brain,
saying that you absolutely haveto have this, this is going to
make you feel good.
My result, my physical results,has something different, so I
want to be aware of that afterthe fact and then make a more
intentional plan for myself anddo it in a way where I'm staying
(10:05):
fully present as I'm eating anddrinking and trying to you know
, notice when I reach that pointof just enough where I don't
feel too much discomfort in mybody but I'm still able to enjoy
the pleasure of the food or thealcohol.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
You know, you bring such an unusual, distinctive
background and therefore a veryunique skill set as a trained
formerly trained chef andsommelier.
So what does, what does eatingin your house and your family
look like as a trained Frenchchef?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, I have three young boys, so we're not eating
fine dining and I, you know,have.
I have a business that I runand a house and all of the other
stuff that comes along withbeing a parent.
So, you know, I would say thatmy training influences the way
we eat, in the sense that Ireally prioritize high quality
(10:55):
ingredients, simple cooking bututilizing good flavor
combinations, and I reallybelieve that good food doesn't
need a lot to make it taste goodand you don't need to
overcomplicate the cookingprocess, and so this is what we
do in my home.
I have an advantage because Iam good at time management in
(11:18):
the kitchen.
I have a lot of years ofexperience as a chef.
I know how to combine flavors,but I often tell the people that
I work with if you want toreally maximize the pleasure in
food, start with really highquality ingredients, know where
they're coming from, buy thingsin season, utilize primarily
whole foods at the peak of theirflavor and just be very
(11:39):
thoughtful in the way that youseason them so that you can
really just appreciate the pureflavor and get used to the way
that things are supposed totaste.
As you know, dr Davis, when westart including a lot of
processed foods or man-madefoods.
It really distorts our palate.
We're no longer, you know,fully satisfied the way we can
(11:59):
be with whole foods, both youknow, physically and I also
think, emotionally, in terms ofthe emotional satisfaction of
eating.
So I really emphasize kind ofsimplicity and high quality
ingredients when it comes tofood.
You don't need to be a chef todo that.
You just need to have a littlebit of awareness of where to
find some of those ingredientsand how to combine some of those
flavors.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
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Now let's get back to ourdiscussion.
You know, molly, one of thebiggest complaints I get in my
(15:12):
programs we try to alterpeople's diets is that someone
is willing to do it but theycan't seem to bring their
families along because, as youpoint out, they've acquired this
distorted sense of taste fromexposure to processed and
ultra-processed foods.
How much success have you hadwith your own family?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, I have never believed in needing my family to
come along with the way that Ieat.
In fact, that doesn't go verywell when I try and micromanage
everybody else's plate.
Most people don't take well tothat, and so I've never, you
know, tried to get my husband onboard.
Now I do.
You know, I, with the sort ofthe example that I give my kids
(15:52):
is, you know, I want them totaste a variety of different
foods, but I also believe ifthey're hungry enough, they will
eat what's in front of them.
They will give you know, ifthey're not bombarded with a ton
of processed snacks, they willhave a healthy appetite for
whole foods.
So we don't do a ton ofprocessed snacks.
I mean they're kids, sosometimes they will.
(16:14):
I mean I don't completelyrestrict them because I don't
think that's healthy either, butI primarily have healthy snacks
available fruits, nuts,vegetables, things like that
hummus and then when it's timefor meals, they're ready to eat,
and so they're pretty goodeaters.
They don't love everything, butthey'll eat the things that I
(16:34):
put in front of them and I makesure that there's a pretty big
variety of options, and then Ireally just try and lead by
example in terms of mindfuleating, and so I will sort of
talk about the fact that I'm noteating if I'm not hungry, or
you know what?
I've had enough.
So it's okay if there's foodleft behind, like I'm satisfied,
and so, you know, I think thatthey absorb some of that.
(16:55):
My husband has really absorbed alot of those habits without me
necessarily telling him this isthe way you need to do it.
It's like oh, you know, youseem to be getting good results
with this, you're feeling great.
You know you're looking great.
I'm going to try and learn fromyou and do some of these things
.
Or I noticed mom isn't reallylike snacking a lot, like she's
primarily just eating her mealsand she can easily kind of stop
(17:16):
without finishing the wholeplate.
I wonder what she's doing, andso I try and tell people you
don't have to have the wholefamily come along with you, you
just need to be in charge of youand kind of set an example.
And if people ask questions,great, you can talk about what
you're doing.
You can be an example of what'spossible to people.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Molly, how much did you have to break with
traditional French rules oncooking in order to accomplish
all this?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You know I didn't really have.
You know, here's the fun thingabout this, which I think you
can relate to, is thattraditional French cooking
relies a lot on full fat utter,you know, cream, I mean all of
the things that you talk aboutas being, you know, a healthy
way to eat, a satisfying way toeat, and so I incorporate all
(18:02):
full fats into the way I cookand I find it's very satisfying,
it heightens the flavor.
I tell my clients this too.
I'm like listen, just don't beafraid of fat.
Julia Child is one of myfavorite chefs of all time and
she was a big proponent of fatand she had a healthy appetite,
but she wasn't overweight.
She lived into her 80s and shejust believed all things in
(18:26):
moderation, and so for her itwas like using full flavor
ingredients, high fat, and so Icertainly incorporate that into
my, into my cooking, and Ihaven't really had to kind of
break with that French traditionat all.
I just don't do a ton of Idon't know highly complicated,
complex cooking and I just don'tthink it's necessary.
I think that you can makesimple food taste really good if
(18:49):
you're using high qualityingredients.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
How much pushback do you get from people?
Because we all know that mostAmericans have been brainwashed
and had this idea of cuttingyour fat and saturated fat and
cholesterol and, of course,organ meats and other things
into their heads.
You try to persuade people thatthis is all wrong, but how much
success are you having inpersuading people that adding
back fat's a good idea?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
well, that's where the coaching comes in, because
breaking a diet mindset isreally difficult.
I mean, so many of us haven'tingrained that no, certain foods
are bad, or I should be justcounting calories, or these
foods I should just eliminateautomatically, and so I can talk
about these ideas.
But people have to really livethe experience of noticing like
(19:36):
when I'm restricting thesethings, I find that I'm like not
that satisfied, or the fooddoesn't taste good or I'm just
hungry more often.
And so through the coaching, wereally work to kind of pull a
lot of those old beliefs youknow to the surface and really
question them.
You know, how do you knowthat's true?
What if it's not true?
What if you could actually, youknow, enjoy food even more and
(19:58):
be at your ideal weight?
Because you're not, you know,cutting out all the things that
make it taste good.
Be at your ideal weight becauseyou're not, you know, cutting
out all the things that make ittaste good.
You know what if you get toredefine what this looks like
for you and how you feel?
And so it is a process, it's aprocess of unlearning a lot of
those diet rules, which takestime for a lot of people and
they have to build trust.
You know, I allow people tokind of go through that learning
process and to kind of discoverfor themselves that they really
(20:21):
can enjoy highly flavorful fullfat you know foods and actually
lose weight in the process, andthat's just such an exciting
thing for people to discover.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
That's great, molly.
You know when that happens tome.
Of course people say I did yourprogram and my cholesterol went
sky high and my doctor saysthat program is killing you.
So I have to remind them totalcholesterol and LDL cholesterol
are false gods, it's garbage.
You should have crossed themout with a black magic marker
(20:56):
and then tell your doctor hey,buddy, learn how heart disease
is really caused and do the realtests, not the fake tests that
are supported by thepharmaceutical industry.
What have you encountered?
When people have theircholesterol values Say Molly,
you're eating this way makes mycholesterol go high.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well, you know, interestingly enough, I had a
client you know in her 70s.
She just went through ashoulder replacement, she went
through a knee replacement butshe had her blood work done
before that and actually theresults were great.
I mean, over the course oflosing 40 pounds over a year,
her test results, like her labresults, actually came back much
better.
(21:27):
So and I've had just I've hadthat happen with a number of
clients where their cholesterolisn't necessarily going up.
I think maybe once or twicethat's happened.
But you know, we really try andthink about you know how you're
feeling and sort of the feedbackthat you're getting from your
body, because, as you know, somany people are just like overly
focused on calories or focusedon the scale and try, I try and
(21:50):
get people thinking about kindof the lived experience of
eating differently, of you knowincorporating more foods, of
noticing what it's like whenyou're not extremely hungry and
you don't need to eat as muchand you don't have to think as
much about food and just howmuch that feel, how much better
that feels emotionally, how muchbetter it feels physically when
you're lighter and you havemore energy and when people
(22:12):
realize that.
It usually takes about two weeks, and I know that you've talked
about this with like thewithdrawal process that you have
to go with when you cut outwheat, when you have to cut out
grains and sugar and all that,and for the people I work with,
you know it's usually about twoweeks and after that point they
just the exciting thing is likethey realize how good they can
(22:32):
actually feel, you know, even intheir 70s, even if it's like,
wow, I feel amazing.
And I think, once youexperience that, it's hard to be
motivated to turn back to someof those foods or to turn back
to overeating, because yourealize what's possible when
you're honoring your body andyou're eating foods that
actually allow it to feel good.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'd be interested in hearing how you deal with this.
So, as you know, modern peopletend to get their food through a
drive-through window, through astyrofoam clamshell, delivered
by a food delivery service, orultra-processed bagged foods,
those kind of microwavabledinners, all that kind of stuff,
and many people who I meet justgetting started.
They say they barely know howto make tea or boil an egg.
(23:15):
Now we're talking about goingback to the kitchen and making,
you know, ribs and other kindsof dishes that they've lost the
habit of making.
Have you dealt with that?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, and sometimes people are intimidated about
working with me because theyassume that it's going to
involve a lot of serious cookingtechniques that they don't feel
either capable of or they'renot interested in.
There are many people who justdon't enjoy cooking, and it's
just not an excuse, because intoday's day you can get so many
(23:49):
things prepared that are goodquality, that are simple, that
are not, you know, processedfoods, you foods whether it's at
your grocery store, whetherit's through Uber Eats or
something like that.
You can find pretty goodoptions.
Now, they're not always themost affordable options, but I
think when you get somebody atleast beginning to make better
(24:11):
choices and they're feelingbetter, they get a lot more
motivated to start cooking forthemselves.
That's that's.
I don't know what you'veexperienced, but that's what I
see is kind of.
The progression is like whenpeople start to really feel
better and they start to seeresults.
They're like you know, what I'mkind of interested in cooking a
little bit, you know, and thiscan actually be part of how I
enjoy food is by, you know,learning how to cook and
(24:32):
experimenting and trying newflavors, and that can be part of
the fun of it, and so I reallyencourage people to, to see it
as part of the creative processand see it as part of kind of
the enjoyment of both, likeeating and cooking and being in
the kitchen.
And I find that you know, moreoften than not that happens.
I mean, sometimes I'm workingwith, you know, executives who
(24:53):
are constantly traveling and socooking meals is not always an
option, but they are able to,you know, by kind of
intentionally planning, make itwork, by finding foods that fit
and that really, you know, setthem up for success in terms of
feeling good.
How often do you get to?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
exercise your French cooking skills.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Well, I spend a lot of time on the weekend cooking.
That's something that I do forfun, and so I've got a couple of
favorite cookbooks.
And let's see, this pastweekend it was my son's.
It was a party for my son's endof year you know baseball team
and so I did some you knowreally nice desserts for that.
(25:33):
Anytime I can kind of cook for alarge group of people, I'm
finding fun recipes toexperiment with.
It's not the sort of thing thatI'm doing day to day for my
immediate family, but if I cankind of entertain or go to a
party and bring something, thenit's a great chance for me to
just have fun in the kitchen andto make something unusual that
most people aren't used toeating.
What really excites me is to beable to, you know, prepare
(25:57):
something that just reallydelight somebody, that they're
not expecting and that somebodycan take a bite and say like
this is the best thing that I'veever tasted, like that.
I get so excited by that.
And it's not even about like.
In the past, dr Davis, it usedto be like I would need to eat
all of it.
It was like I was so driven bymy own kind of appetite for food
and for sugar and things likethat, and that's really shifted
(26:20):
and I've really moved away fromthat and I will still
occasionally eat some of thosethings in moderation.
But it's more about just theact, the creative act of cooking
and sort of delighting otherpeople in things that they
weren't expecting.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
You know, I'm just getting acquainted with your
work and I haven't had a chanceto investigate whether you've
done any recorded videos of youexercising your French cooking
skills.
Have you had a chance to do anyof that?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I do so inside of my membership program.
I have cooking videos where Imake some really simple things
that are in alignment with sort,with the types of foods that I
recommend to people primarilywhole foods and high quality
ingredients, like I talked aboutand so I have some videos of
making some very simple dishesand teaching people about
(27:07):
seasoning and teaching peopleabout how to sear a piece of
fish to really maximize theflavor of the fish, how to
create a basic vinaigrette for asalad and how you can kind of
interchange different flavors.
So, yeah, I have, I've donesome things like that.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Great, great.
I'd like you to at least giveus a point in the direction of
seeing those when we finish,when we conclude.
So how does a trained sommelierdeal with wine, now that you've
kind of graduated to this pointin your life where you're
trying to control impulse anddiet and be healthy?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well, I've realized as I've aged that my body just
doesn't react the same way toalcohol as it did, and so the
amount of alcohol that I'm ableto drink is a lot less and still
feel pretty good.
And so that's been a process ofrealizing that, yeah, if I have
, you know, more than twoglasses of wine, I'm not going
to sleep, I'm going to deal withheightened anxiety, I'm going
(28:03):
to feel irritable a lot ofthings that that really
negatively impact the quality ofmy life and the quality of my
relationships.
And you know a lot of peoplethat that I work with have this
fear of not being able tocontrol themselves of.
Like you know a lot of peoplethat I work with have this fear
of not being able to controlthemselves.
Like you know, I feel like Ijust can't stop drinking when I
have some wine or maybe it'swith you know, some other kind
(28:24):
of food.
I can't control myself.
And I remind these people it'snot that you don't have control,
it's just that in the pastyou've done it in a very
mindless, unconscious way.
You were just kind of givinginto sort of these impulses in
the moment and you weren'treally aware of the effect that
it was going to have on yourbrain and on your body.
And so, now that you know, andnow that you know kind of the
(28:44):
heightened desire that some ofthese, these things create, you
can decide from an informedplace do you still really want
these things?
And if the answer is yes,that's okay.
But let's, like you know, havea more intentional relationship
with them.
And so for me, that might looklike I mean, it's I rarely drink
, but if I do, it might be okay.
I'm going to have, you know, oneglass of wine, and it's going
(29:04):
to be this particular type ofwine, because I don't have the
same kind of physical reactionto it.
I'm going to have it do thistime of day.
I'm going to sit down and, likeyou know, and enjoy it, but
without a lot of distractions.
I'm not going to be sitting infront of the TV, I'm not going
to be, you know, scrolling on myphone.
I'm going to just like bebringing this is how I like to
describe it to people, bringingall five senses to the
(29:26):
experience of drinking or toeating, so that I can experience
the maximum pleasure from itwithout needing to have as much.
And then the other thing youknow I work with when people, in
terms of scaling back theirdrinking, is keeping a sort of a
diary of, okay, how much do Iwant to drink, planning the
drinks and then, if they're notfollowing the plan, writing down
(29:48):
how much they actually diddrink.
And it's interesting, like howmuch awareness this creates for
people when they realize theamount that they're drinking
over the course of the week thatthey didn't even realize.
That helps people to kind ofshift into wow, like I don't
know that I really want to bedrinking that much.
And then also to just realizewhen I'm making an intentional
(30:08):
choice and I'm creating I'msetting some boundaries for
myself, I'm able to really stop,you know, after one or two
drinks and to actually feel alot better than I did before.
And if I'm not, then that'sanother piece of information
that I'm going to bring towardscreating the ideal relationship
with alcohol, where maybe twodrinks is too much, or maybe
it's only on this particular day, in the middle of the day
(30:29):
instead of at night, or maybe Ijust don't really love the way I
feel.
I need to just rethink whetheror not I want to drink at all
and figure out how am I going tohave fun in new ways?
How am I going to connect withpeople in different ways?
How am I going to decompress innew ways?
What are some differentlifestyle changes that I need to
make so that it doesn't feellike a complete void where, all
of a sudden, I've starteddrinking alcohol and, like you
(30:50):
know, it doesn't feel like I'mhaving any fun?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I'm not able to deal with stress.
We need to sort of build in alot of those skills at the same
time.
Does this mean you've had tocompletely abandon the notion of
pairing?
So anybody listening whodoesn't know what that is?
I'm referring to the idea thatMolly, I'm sure, knows extremely
well this notion that certainwines and certain foods pair
better.
How do you manage that, molly?
Certain wines and certain foodspair better.
How do you manage that, molly?
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh, I haven't abandoned it.
I feel like I'm still fullyaware of the right pairings and
if somebody asks for my advice,I know exactly what to tell them
.
And if, for some reason, I'm ina situation where I've decided
I want to have a glass of wineand I know what I'm eating, I'll
(31:38):
know exactly how to pair it.
But I have really released thisidea that wine is the perfect
complement to food Because Idiscovered that that just wasn't
a helpful thought for me.
I don't want to be drinkingevery single time I eat.
I don't want to feel like Ineed to have wine every time I'm
sitting down for a fine diningexperience.
I want to feel like I canappreciate food for the sake of
just appreciating the flavor offood.
So that is something that Ihave let go of, that that wine
(31:59):
is an integral part of thedining experience.
But I don't really judge otherpeople for it.
You know, people can havewhatever relationship they want
to.
As you probably know, alcoholaffects people differently, and
so for one person, you know,they might not be affected by it
and they can just take it orleave it.
Another person, you know, hasone cocktail and just can't stop
(32:20):
drinking, and so it's reallyabout figuring out for you
what's your ideal amount, and ifit's not drinking at all, we
can help you get there.
If it's drinking a little bitless, you can do that too.
It doesn't have to be an all ornothing approach there.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
If it's drinking, a little bit less, you can do that
too.
It doesn't have to be an all ornothing approach.
So if someone wants a littlebit more of Molly Zemeck's
wisdom and maybe some cookingvideos, what's a good place to
start?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well for wisdom, my podcast Weight Loss for Food
Lovers is a great place to start, and my website, mollyzemechcom
, has a lot of different videos,some meditations, a lot more
information about my book andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Terrific.
Molly, thank you very much.
I don't recall ever bringingsomeone with your background on
a trained French chef I'm aformerly trained French chef,
like Julia Child, and a trainedSully.
It is fantastic, but all thelessons you took from that
unique, it's priceless.
Thank you, molly.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I really enjoyed being here.
In this episode of Defiant Health Podcast, I
interview life coach MollyZemeck.
Molly comes from the uniquebackground of having worked as a
Le Cordon Bleu, formerlytrained French chef for 10 years
.
She's also a certifiedsommelier.
But with this intensivebackground in food and wine, she
found herself falling victim touncontrolled eating and
(00:27):
drinking impulses.
She then turned her attentionto gaining control over her
eating and drinking impulses andnow, as a life coach, helps
others deal with theirtemptations.
She does so through her newbook, decoding your Emotional
Appetite A Food Lover's Guide toWeight Loss, and her podcast,
weight Loss for Food Lovers,where she brings the lessons
(00:48):
learned from her own journey andthat of her coaching clients.
And later in the podcast I'dlike to tell you about Define
Health sponsors Paleo Valley,our preferred provider for many
excellent organic and grass-fedfood products, and Biodiquest,
my number one choice forprobiotics that are
scientifically formulated,unlike most of the other
commercial probiotic productsavailable today.
(01:10):
Welcome, molly.
Thanks for joining me on thispodcast episode.
You and I have kind of gottento know each other because we
share an interest, of course, inhealthy eating.
But you know, I like having youon my podcast because you fill
a gap that I don't fill at all,or at least not very well.
That is this notion ofemotional eating.
(01:32):
Could you tell me how you fellinto this?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Well, I identify myself as a lifelong food lover
and spent a lot of years reallypursuing that passion for food
and then later my passion forwine.
I became certified as a chef,certified as a sommelier, and
spent a lot of my free time justpursuing this love of food,
(01:56):
really just enjoying differentflavors, traveling around the
world, cooking.
But I got to this point when Iwas in my 40s where I really
just felt kind of powerlessaround food, almost like I just
couldn't really control myselfand I wondered why other people
were able to kind of manage howmuch they ate.
But I felt like I just alwayswanted more time.
(02:20):
Also that I was trying to loseweight because since I had such
a big appetite, an emotionalappetite for food, I wasn't able
to really lose weight the way Idid as a young person.
I couldn't really follow thesame diets and see the same
results.
So I knew that I needed adifferent approach and I really
wanted to get a better handle onkind of the sensational
(02:42):
appetite that I had for food.
And so I spent a lot of time,you know, really trying to
figure out the root reasonsbehind my eating and drinking,
because it really wasn't makingme happy.
I felt like I was less and lesssatisfied the more I ate and
drank, and I just started tojust kind of differentiate
between my physical appetite forfood and then what I call kind
(03:05):
of an emotional appetite, whichis the desire for food.
And so I was also going throughtraining to become a life coach,
and so I was really justlearning a lot more about
mindfulness and body awarenessand I realized, you know, a lot
of my passion for food wasdriven by emotional reasons, not
(03:25):
by physical appetite.
And so that's kind of how Istarted this, this journey of
self-awareness to sort ofunderstand, okay, if I'm not
eating for physical reasons,what are the emotional reasons
why I'm eating?
And from that place ofawareness I was able to identify
oh okay, I'm using food to filla void either in, you know,
(03:46):
personal relationships andwanting to connect with people,
because I'm not feelingcreatively satisfied, and so
food is a way that I justexperienced momentary pleasure.
And anyway, I began connectingthe dots, like all the emotional
reasons that needed to besatisfied in other ways, and
once I began satisfying thoseneeds, it completely changed my
(04:06):
life, because I felt much morein control around food, much
more aware of my body, and I wasmore deeply satisfied because I
was really satisfying the needsthat needed to be met without
food and alcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
So if I hear you it came through a process of
self-examination,self-reflection, I hear you it
came through a process ofself-examination,
self-reflection not 10 years ofpsychotherapy or Prozac, no, no.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It also, I think, happened as the result of the
coach training that I was goingthrough at the same time.
So I became a lot more familiarwith the role of our thinking
and our emotions, in terms ofwhat motivates us to act the way
that we do and how to reallystart to observe typical thought
patterns you have that driveactions that you don't
necessarily want, so that youcan change those thought
(04:54):
patterns, and how to just be alot more connected to my body.
So it was sort of theconfluence of all of those
things and as a result I wrote abook that just came out that's
called Decoding your EmotionalAppetite, where I really help
people identify the emotionalreasons why they might turn to
food and how to start solvingfor some of those needs without
(05:14):
eating and drinking.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So you've seen your experience pretty much mirrored
in other people with similarstruggles.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.
I mean, there's just someuniversal reasons why we
mindlessly turn to food or manyof us overdrink, and you know,
(05:47):
based on sort of those patterns,I put together a list of
emotional appetites that peoplecan start to identify in their
own lives as reasons why, youknow, they might feel out of
control around food and alcohol.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Could you give some specifics?
Are we talking about suchthings as childhood trauma, an
overbearing mother, a passivefather?
What sorts of things are wetalking about?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Certainly those can be potential reasons, although
situations like that arecertainly better suited for
therapy when it's dealing withpast trauma or issues in the
past that make it hard to reallyfunction now and move forward.
But in coaching we really sortof look at okay, if I'm turning
(06:30):
to food in this particularmoment and I'm not physically
hungry, what else might be goingon?
What happened before I decidedto show up in the pantry and
start, you know, raiding thecupboards and eating, or you
know what was going on the daybefore or how was I feeling in
that moment?
And what I noticed is thatoftentimes people will turn to
(06:53):
food if they're bored, so theywill turn to food as a way to
cope with stress.
They will use food as a way toconnect with other people, which
, as you know, is super common.
But when we feel obligated toeat as a way to connect, that
can often feel overeating andover drinking for many people,
and then also just for the sheerpleasure of eating.
(07:13):
You know, out of that desire tojust experience more pleasure
and offset the discomfort, thathappens when we feel emotions
that we're not used to managing,and that's another thing that
happens with a lot of people iswhen they're not really taught
the skill of how to processemotions or how to just validate
how they're feeling and, likeme, they probably didn't learn
(07:35):
how to do that as a child, andso food is just the convenient
go-to as a way to just try andfeel better in the moment, and
over time that turns into a badhabit.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Have you found that the strategies to reduce
emotional eating are pretty muchthe same as that for excessive
drinking, at least in someinstances?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's very similar, although it's slightly different
, and you know a lot about thenature of different kinds of
foods and how certain kinds offoods can almost be addictive in
terms of the way that ourbrains respond to them and in
terms of sort of the physicalresponse we have when we're
eating them and we feelcompelled to eat more or to
compulsively eat them because ofhow they're made or the
(08:17):
ingredients in them.
And so that's another kind ofthing that we consider when
we're talking about changingover drinking is that you
certainly can bring mindfulnessto the reasons why you might be
drinking more than you want to,but you also have to factor in
the role of alcohol and itseffect on your brain, and that
you know, by its very nature itwill, you know, obviously affect
(08:41):
your consciousness in themoment, affect your ability to
really think rationally and alsocreate a lot more desire to
have more.
Now, that's not to say that youcan't still be in control and
have a moderate amount.
It's not possible for everybody, but for a lot of people.
Just bringing awareness to youknow, how much do I ideally want
to be drinking?
How can I make a plan formyself ahead of time and say,
(09:02):
okay, tonight I really just wantto have one glass of wine, not
three, and here's how I'm goingto stay fully conscious while
I'm trying to drink it.
You know, really notice kind ofhow I'm feeling, really pay
attention to any urges that comeup and have a plan for how I'm
going to transition away fromdrinking when I'm done and just
have it be a much more focusedexperience.
And so people find that whenthey bring that high level of
(09:24):
focus to it, they can be incontrol.
So it's similar with food, butfood and alcohol are slightly
different in terms of how weapproach it.
But it's all about makingintentional choices and then
noticing how our bodies respondwhen we eat or drink these
things and then reallyprioritizing feeling good above
all else.
So recognizing you know what,when I eat this way, when I
(09:45):
drink this things, and thenreally prioritizing feeling good
above all else.
So recognizing you know what,when I eat this way, when I
drink this way, I don't feelthat great.
I don't know that I truly wantthis, even though my brain,
saying that you absolutely haveto have this, this is going to
make you feel good.
My result, my physical results,has something different, so I
want to be aware of that afterthe fact and then make a more
intentional plan for myself anddo it in a way where I'm staying
(10:05):
fully present as I'm eating anddrinking and trying to you know
, notice when I reach that pointof just enough where I don't
feel too much discomfort in mybody but I'm still able to enjoy
the pleasure of the food or thealcohol.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
You know, you bring such an unusual, distinctive
background and therefore a veryunique skill set as a trained
formerly trained chef andsommelier.
So what does, what does eatingin your house and your family
look like as a trained Frenchchef?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, I have three young boys, so we're not eating
fine dining and I, you know,have.
I have a business that I runand a house and all of the other
stuff that comes along withbeing a parent.
So, you know, I would say thatmy training influences the way
we eat, in the sense that Ireally prioritize high quality
(10:55):
ingredients, simple cooking bututilizing good flavor
combinations, and I reallybelieve that good food doesn't
need a lot to make it taste goodand you don't need to
overcomplicate the cookingprocess, and so this is what we
do in my home.
I have an advantage because Iam good at time management in
(11:18):
the kitchen.
I have a lot of years ofexperience as a chef.
I know how to combine flavors,but I often tell the people that
I work with if you want toreally maximize the pleasure in
food, start with really highquality ingredients, know where
they're coming from, buy thingsin season, utilize primarily
whole foods at the peak of theirflavor and just be very
(11:39):
thoughtful in the way that youseason them so that you can
really just appreciate the pureflavor and get used to the way
that things are supposed totaste.
As you know, dr Davis, when westart including a lot of
processed foods or man-madefoods.
It really distorts our palate.
We're no longer, you know,fully satisfied the way we can
(11:59):
be with whole foods, both youknow, physically and I also
think, emotionally, in terms ofthe emotional satisfaction of
eating.
So I really emphasize kind ofsimplicity and high quality
ingredients when it comes tofood.
You don't need to be a chef todo that.
You just need to have a littlebit of awareness of where to
find some of those ingredientsand how to combine some of those
flavors.
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Now let's get back to ourdiscussion.
You know, molly, one of thebiggest complaints I get in my
(15:12):
programs we try to alterpeople's diets is that someone
is willing to do it but theycan't seem to bring their
families along because, as youpoint out, they've acquired this
distorted sense of taste fromexposure to processed and
ultra-processed foods.
How much success have you hadwith your own family?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, I have never believed in needing my family to
come along with the way that Ieat.
In fact, that doesn't go verywell when I try and micromanage
everybody else's plate.
Most people don't take well tothat, and so I've never, you
know, tried to get my husband onboard.
Now I do.
You know, I, with the sort ofthe example that I give my kids
(15:52):
is, you know, I want them totaste a variety of different
foods, but I also believe ifthey're hungry enough, they will
eat what's in front of them.
They will give you know, ifthey're not bombarded with a ton
of processed snacks, they willhave a healthy appetite for
whole foods.
So we don't do a ton ofprocessed snacks.
I mean they're kids, sosometimes they will.
(16:14):
I mean I don't completelyrestrict them because I don't
think that's healthy either, butI primarily have healthy snacks
available fruits, nuts,vegetables, things like that
hummus and then when it's timefor meals, they're ready to eat,
and so they're pretty goodeaters.
They don't love everything, butthey'll eat the things that I
(16:34):
put in front of them and I makesure that there's a pretty big
variety of options, and then Ireally just try and lead by
example in terms of mindfuleating, and so I will sort of
talk about the fact that I'm noteating if I'm not hungry, or
you know what?
I've had enough.
So it's okay if there's foodleft behind, like I'm satisfied,
and so, you know, I think thatthey absorb some of that.
(16:55):
My husband has really absorbed alot of those habits without me
necessarily telling him this isthe way you need to do it.
It's like oh, you know, youseem to be getting good results
with this, you're feeling great.
You know you're looking great.
I'm going to try and learn fromyou and do some of these things
.
Or I noticed mom isn't reallylike snacking a lot, like she's
primarily just eating her mealsand she can easily kind of stop
(17:16):
without finishing the wholeplate.
I wonder what she's doing, andso I try and tell people you
don't have to have the wholefamily come along with you, you
just need to be in charge of youand kind of set an example.
And if people ask questions,great, you can talk about what
you're doing.
You can be an example of what'spossible to people.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Molly, how much did you have to break with
traditional French rules oncooking in order to accomplish
all this?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
You know I didn't really have.
You know, here's the fun thingabout this, which I think you
can relate to, is thattraditional French cooking
relies a lot on full fat utter,you know, cream, I mean all of
the things that you talk aboutas being, you know, a healthy
way to eat, a satisfying way toeat, and so I incorporate all
(18:02):
full fats into the way I cookand I find it's very satisfying,
it heightens the flavor.
I tell my clients this too.
I'm like listen, just don't beafraid of fat.
Julia Child is one of myfavorite chefs of all time and
she was a big proponent of fatand she had a healthy appetite,
but she wasn't overweight.
She lived into her 80s and shejust believed all things in
(18:26):
moderation, and so for her itwas like using full flavor
ingredients, high fat, and so Icertainly incorporate that into
my, into my cooking, and Ihaven't really had to kind of
break with that French traditionat all.
I just don't do a ton of Idon't know highly complicated,
complex cooking and I just don'tthink it's necessary.
I think that you can makesimple food taste really good if
(18:49):
you're using high qualityingredients.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
How much pushback do you get from people?
Because we all know that mostAmericans have been brainwashed
and had this idea of cuttingyour fat and saturated fat and
cholesterol and, of course,organ meats and other things
into their heads.
You try to persuade people thatthis is all wrong, but how much
success are you having inpersuading people that adding
back fat's a good idea?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
well, that's where the coaching comes in, because
breaking a diet mindset isreally difficult.
I mean, so many of us haven'tingrained that no, certain foods
are bad, or I should be justcounting calories, or these
foods I should just eliminateautomatically, and so I can talk
about these ideas.
But people have to really livethe experience of noticing like
(19:36):
when I'm restricting thesethings, I find that I'm like not
that satisfied, or the fooddoesn't taste good or I'm just
hungry more often.
And so through the coaching, wereally work to kind of pull a
lot of those old beliefs youknow to the surface and really
question them.
You know, how do you knowthat's true?
What if it's not true?
What if you could actually, youknow, enjoy food even more and
(19:58):
be at your ideal weight?
Because you're not, you know,cutting out all the things that
make it taste good.
Be at your ideal weight becauseyou're not, you know, cutting
out all the things that make ittaste good.
You know what if you get toredefine what this looks like
for you and how you feel?
And so it is a process, it's aprocess of unlearning a lot of
those diet rules, which takestime for a lot of people and
they have to build trust.
You know, I allow people tokind of go through that learning
process and to kind of discoverfor themselves that they really
(20:21):
can enjoy highly flavorful fullfat you know foods and actually
lose weight in the process, andthat's just such an exciting
thing for people to discover.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
That's great, molly.
You know when that happens tome.
Of course people say I did yourprogram and my cholesterol went
sky high and my doctor saysthat program is killing you.
So I have to remind them totalcholesterol and LDL cholesterol
are false gods, it's garbage.
You should have crossed themout with a black magic marker
(20:56):
and then tell your doctor hey,buddy, learn how heart disease
is really caused and do the realtests, not the fake tests that
are supported by thepharmaceutical industry.
What have you encountered?
When people have theircholesterol values Say Molly,
you're eating this way makes mycholesterol go high.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well, you know, interestingly enough, I had a
client you know in her 70s.
She just went through ashoulder replacement, she went
through a knee replacement butshe had her blood work done
before that and actually theresults were great.
I mean, over the course oflosing 40 pounds over a year,
her test results, like her labresults, actually came back much
better.
(21:27):
So and I've had just I've hadthat happen with a number of
clients where their cholesterolisn't necessarily going up.
I think maybe once or twicethat's happened.
But you know, we really try andthink about you know how you're
feeling and sort of the feedbackthat you're getting from your
body, because, as you know, somany people are just like overly
focused on calories or focusedon the scale and try, I try and
(21:50):
get people thinking about kindof the lived experience of
eating differently, of you knowincorporating more foods, of
noticing what it's like whenyou're not extremely hungry and
you don't need to eat as muchand you don't have to think as
much about food and just howmuch that feel, how much better
that feels emotionally, how muchbetter it feels physically when
you're lighter and you havemore energy and when people
(22:12):
realize that.
It usually takes about two weeks, and I know that you've talked
about this with like thewithdrawal process that you have
to go with when you cut outwheat, when you have to cut out
grains and sugar and all that,and for the people I work with,
you know it's usually about twoweeks and after that point they
just the exciting thing is likethey realize how good they can
(22:32):
actually feel, you know, even intheir 70s, even if it's like,
wow, I feel amazing.
And I think, once youexperience that, it's hard to be
motivated to turn back to someof those foods or to turn back
to overeating, because yourealize what's possible when
you're honoring your body andyou're eating foods that
actually allow it to feel good.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I'd be interested in hearing how you deal with this.
So, as you know, modern peopletend to get their food through a
drive-through window, through astyrofoam clamshell, delivered
by a food delivery service, orultra-processed bagged foods,
those kind of microwavabledinners, all that kind of stuff,
and many people who I meet justgetting started.
They say they barely know howto make tea or boil an egg.
(23:15):
Now we're talking about goingback to the kitchen and making,
you know, ribs and other kindsof dishes that they've lost the
habit of making.
Have you dealt with that?
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yes, and sometimes people are intimidated about
working with me because theyassume that it's going to
involve a lot of serious cookingtechniques that they don't feel
either capable of or they'renot interested in.
There are many people who justdon't enjoy cooking, and it's
just not an excuse, because intoday's day you can get so many
(23:49):
things prepared that are goodquality, that are simple, that
are not, you know, processedfoods, you foods whether it's at
your grocery store, whetherit's through Uber Eats or
something like that.
You can find pretty goodoptions.
Now, they're not always themost affordable options, but I
think when you get somebody atleast beginning to make better
(24:11):
choices and they're feelingbetter, they get a lot more
motivated to start cooking forthemselves.
That's that's.
I don't know what you'veexperienced, but that's what I
see is kind of.
The progression is like whenpeople start to really feel
better and they start to seeresults.
They're like you know, what I'mkind of interested in cooking a
little bit, you know, and thiscan actually be part of how I
enjoy food is by, you know,learning how to cook and
(24:32):
experimenting and trying newflavors, and that can be part of
the fun of it, and so I reallyencourage people to, to see it
as part of the creative processand see it as part of kind of
the enjoyment of both, likeeating and cooking and being in
the kitchen.
And I find that you know, moreoften than not that happens.
I mean, sometimes I'm workingwith, you know, executives who
(24:53):
are constantly traveling and socooking meals is not always an
option, but they are able to,you know, by kind of
intentionally planning, make itwork, by finding foods that fit
and that really, you know, setthem up for success in terms of
feeling good.
How often do you get to?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
exercise your French cooking skills.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Well, I spend a lot of time on the weekend cooking.
That's something that I do forfun, and so I've got a couple of
favorite cookbooks.
And let's see, this pastweekend it was my son's.
It was a party for my son's endof year you know baseball team
and so I did some you knowreally nice desserts for that.
(25:33):
Anytime I can kind of cook for alarge group of people, I'm
finding fun recipes toexperiment with.
It's not the sort of thing thatI'm doing day to day for my
immediate family, but if I cankind of entertain or go to a
party and bring something, thenit's a great chance for me to
just have fun in the kitchen andto make something unusual that
most people aren't used toeating.
What really excites me is to beable to, you know, prepare
(25:57):
something that just reallydelight somebody, that they're
not expecting and that somebodycan take a bite and say like
this is the best thing that I'veever tasted, like that.
I get so excited by that.
And it's not even about like.
In the past, dr Davis, it usedto be like I would need to eat
all of it.
It was like I was so driven bymy own kind of appetite for food
and for sugar and things likethat, and that's really shifted
(26:20):
and I've really moved away fromthat and I will still
occasionally eat some of thosethings in moderation.
But it's more about just theact, the creative act of cooking
and sort of delighting otherpeople in things that they
weren't expecting.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
You know, I'm just getting acquainted with your
work and I haven't had a chanceto investigate whether you've
done any recorded videos of youexercising your French cooking
skills.
Have you had a chance to do anyof that?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I do so inside of my membership program.
I have cooking videos where Imake some really simple things
that are in alignment with sort,with the types of foods that I
recommend to people primarilywhole foods and high quality
ingredients, like I talked aboutand so I have some videos of
making some very simple dishesand teaching people about
(27:07):
seasoning and teaching peopleabout how to sear a piece of
fish to really maximize theflavor of the fish, how to
create a basic vinaigrette for asalad and how you can kind of
interchange different flavors.
So, yeah, I have, I've donesome things like that.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Great, great.
I'd like you to at least giveus a point in the direction of
seeing those when we finish,when we conclude.
So how does a trained sommelierdeal with wine, now that you've
kind of graduated to this pointin your life where you're
trying to control impulse anddiet and be healthy?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Well, I've realized as I've aged that my body just
doesn't react the same way toalcohol as it did, and so the
amount of alcohol that I'm ableto drink is a lot less and still
feel pretty good.
And so that's been a process ofrealizing that, yeah, if I have
, you know, more than twoglasses of wine, I'm not going
to sleep, I'm going to deal withheightened anxiety, I'm going
(28:03):
to feel irritable a lot ofthings that that really
negatively impact the quality ofmy life and the quality of my
relationships.
And you know a lot of peoplethat that I work with have this
fear of not being able tocontrol themselves of.
Like you know a lot of peoplethat I work with have this fear
of not being able to controlthemselves.
Like you know, I feel like Ijust can't stop drinking when I
have some wine or maybe it'swith you know, some other kind
(28:24):
of food.
I can't control myself.
And I remind these people it'snot that you don't have control,
it's just that in the pastyou've done it in a very
mindless, unconscious way.
You were just kind of givinginto sort of these impulses in
the moment and you weren'treally aware of the effect that
it was going to have on yourbrain and on your body.
And so, now that you know, andnow that you know kind of the
(28:44):
heightened desire that some ofthese, these things create, you
can decide from an informedplace do you still really want
these things?
And if the answer is yes,that's okay.
But let's, like you know, havea more intentional relationship
with them.
And so for me, that might looklike I mean, it's I rarely drink
, but if I do, it might be okay.
I'm going to have, you know, oneglass of wine, and it's going
(29:04):
to be this particular type ofwine, because I don't have the
same kind of physical reactionto it.
I'm going to have it do thistime of day.
I'm going to sit down and, likeyou know, and enjoy it, but
without a lot of distractions.
I'm not going to be sitting infront of the TV, I'm not going
to be, you know, scrolling on myphone.
I'm going to just like bebringing this is how I like to
describe it to people, bringingall five senses to the
(29:26):
experience of drinking or toeating, so that I can experience
the maximum pleasure from itwithout needing to have as much.
And then the other thing youknow I work with when people, in
terms of scaling back theirdrinking, is keeping a sort of a
diary of, okay, how much do Iwant to drink, planning the
drinks and then, if they're notfollowing the plan, writing down
(29:48):
how much they actually diddrink.
And it's interesting, like howmuch awareness this creates for
people when they realize theamount that they're drinking
over the course of the week thatthey didn't even realize.
That helps people to kind ofshift into wow, like I don't
know that I really want to bedrinking that much.
And then also to just realizewhen I'm making an intentional
(30:08):
choice and I'm creating I'msetting some boundaries for
myself, I'm able to really stop,you know, after one or two
drinks and to actually feel alot better than I did before.
And if I'm not, then that'sanother piece of information
that I'm going to bring towardscreating the ideal relationship
with alcohol, where maybe twodrinks is too much, or maybe
it's only on this particular day, in the middle of the day
(30:29):
instead of at night, or maybe Ijust don't really love the way I
feel.
I need to just rethink whetheror not I want to drink at all
and figure out how am I going tohave fun in new ways?
How am I going to connect withpeople in different ways?
How am I going to decompress innew ways?
What are some differentlifestyle changes that I need to
make so that it doesn't feellike a complete void where, all
of a sudden, I've starteddrinking alcohol and, like you
(30:50):
know, it doesn't feel like I'mhaving any fun?
Speaker 1 (30:59):
I'm not able to deal with stress.
We need to sort of build in alot of those skills at the same
time.
Does this mean you've had tocompletely abandon the notion of
pairing?
So anybody listening whodoesn't know what that is?
I'm referring to the idea thatMolly, I'm sure, knows extremely
well this notion that certainwines and certain foods pair
better.
How do you manage that, molly?
Certain wines and certain foodspair better.
How do you manage that, molly?
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Oh, I haven't abandoned it.
I feel like I'm still fullyaware of the right pairings and
if somebody asks for my advice,I know exactly what to tell them
.
And if, for some reason, I'm ina situation where I've decided
I want to have a glass of wineand I know what I'm eating, I'll
(31:38):
know exactly how to pair it.
But I have really released thisidea that wine is the perfect
complement to food Because Idiscovered that that just wasn't
a helpful thought for me.
I don't want to be drinkingevery single time I eat.
I don't want to feel like Ineed to have wine every time I'm
sitting down for a fine diningexperience.
I want to feel like I canappreciate food for the sake of
just appreciating the flavor offood.
So that is something that Ihave let go of, that that wine
(31:59):
is an integral part of thedining experience.
But I don't really judge otherpeople for it.
You know, people can havewhatever relationship they want
to.
As you probably know, alcoholaffects people differently, and
so for one person, you know,they might not be affected by it
and they can just take it orleave it.
Another person, you know, hasone cocktail and just can't stop
(32:20):
drinking, and so it's reallyabout figuring out for you
what's your ideal amount, and ifit's not drinking at all, we
can help you get there.
If it's drinking a little bitless, you can do that too.
It doesn't have to be an all ornothing approach there.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
If it's drinking, a little bit less, you can do that
too.
It doesn't have to be an all ornothing approach.
So if someone wants a littlebit more of Molly Zemeck's
wisdom and maybe some cookingvideos, what's a good place to
start?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Well for wisdom, my podcast Weight Loss for Food
Lovers is a great place to start, and my website, mollyzemechcom
, has a lot of different videos,some meditations, a lot more
information about my book andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Terrific.
Molly, thank you very much.
I don't recall ever bringingsomeone with your background on
a trained French chef I'm aformerly trained French chef,
like Julia Child, and a trainedSully.
It is fantastic, but all thelessons you took from that
unique, it's priceless.
Thank you, molly.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I really enjoyed being here.
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