April 3, 2025 • 22 mins
Have you ever had your perfectly planned day completely derailed by someone else's schedule change? That's exactly what happened to me this week, and it sparked a powerful revelation about the role of compromise in romantic relationships.
When my husband called to say he needed to work late on my sacred self-care Monday, I had a choice: react with frustration or embrace the opportunity to demonstrate true partnership. This unexpected schedule shift became the perfect real-world example of how healthy compromise strengthens relationships rather than diminishes them.
Throughout this episode, I explore what compromise really means in relationships—finding solutions that honor both partners' needs rather than one person always getting their way. I share practical strategies for effective compromising: communicating openly, listening actively, practicing flexibility, finding common ground, and exercising patience. These skills don't develop overnight, but with practice, they become the foundation of a thriving partnership.
While championing the benefits of compromise, I also address when you shouldn't compromise. Your core values, especially your faith, should remain non-negotiable. Additionally, if your partner uses "compromise" as a manipulation tactic or refuses to meet you halfway, these are serious relationship warning signs that deserve attention.
Whether you're dating, engaged, or married, this episode offers practical wisdom for navigating the daily give-and-take that healthy relationships require. The question isn't if you'll need to compromise, but how you'll handle those moments when they inevitably arise. Will you think only of yourself, or will you consider your partner's needs as well? Your approach to compromise might just determine the strength and longevity of your relationship.
Share this episode with someone who might benefit from these insights, and follow me on social media @DemoWithMo to continue the conversation about building Christ-centered relationships.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
what's up, guys?
Welcome to demo with mo.
I'm your host, monique simmons.
We'll be discussing dating,engaged and married objectives
from a young christian'sperspective.
Are you guys ready?
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome to a new episode ofdemo with mo.
(00:28):
I am your host, monique simmons, and today we are going to be
discussing compromises inromantic relationships.
I had a whole subject that I wasgoing to be discussing today.
I had a real life moment orexperience that happened and it
made me completely throw mytopic out of the window.
(00:51):
Well, let me not say throw itout of the window, but kind of
place it to the side to discussit at a later date.
You ever have that happen whereyou have a game plan, you have
something planned, you know whatyou're going to do, but it's
like something happens.
You're like this is the thingthat I really need to do, this
(01:13):
is the thing that I really needto talk about, this is the thing
that I really need to focus on.
Yeah, that's the moment that Ijust had Well.
That's the moment that I justhad Well Monday, as you guys
know, those of you who have beenrocking with me I need to get
that put on a t-shirt, becausethat's like one of my favorite
(01:33):
things to say.
I've been saying it over theyears.
Now, those of you who have beenrocking with me, like I really
need to like put that on at-shirt.
Those of you who have been withme for a while now, you probably
are aware that Mondays are myself-care days.
That's the day I usually recordpodcast episodes, unless I'm
interviewing a guest.
(01:54):
Mondays are my strict dayswhere I have this set-aside time
where I'm recording the podcastepisode, editing the podcast,
doing something for myself.
I usually go out to eat, I maygo for a drive, I may.
Whatever it is, it's just setaside self-care time.
(02:15):
Today I went and got my nailsdone and my feet done.
It's just self-care time whereI do something for myself.
It's a set aside, intentionalday where I focus on doing
something for myself, and I'vebeen doing it for a couple of
years now, since I've actuallybeen doing the podcast.
And today my husband called me,maybe in a couple hours before
(02:42):
his.
He called me before his usualtime to get out and said they
had some people to call and saythey had to do some things and
they were going to have to worklate, later than they would
usually have to work.
Well, you know, monday is myself-care day, so usually when
my husband gets home, I'mclocking out, and when I say
clock clocking out, I'm leavinghome and he's taking over duties
(03:06):
with the kids.
That's what I mean when I sayI'm clocking out.
Well, now, this changes things,because now he's going to get
off work late, so that's goingto change what I have planned,
because I usually have plannedin advance what I'm going to do
for that day.
Some days I may wing it I mean,some weeks I may wing it but I
usually have it planned.
I may wing it, but I usuallyhave it planned in advance,
exactly what I want to do,because I'm on a schedule Cause,
(03:29):
think about it I'm recordingthe podcast, I'm editing that
podcast, and I usually go outfor dinner and I edit the
podcast.
I usually choose a restaurantthat has wifi, cause I'm editing
the podcast on my laptop.
It's just a whole system.
It's something that you know.
It's a whole system to what Ido.
So it's and I try to be home bya decent hour because I still
(03:52):
have to get up early the nextmorning for work.
So it's a whole system.
So now this is going to put mebehind my usual schedule and I
like to do things a certain way.
So I'm saying this because nowthis is going to throw my
schedule off and it could.
I could easily get upset orfeel some type of way or all
(04:19):
type of things.
You know it's easy to getcaught up in that, you know.
But this is out of his control.
He has no authority over this.
He called me in advance tocommunicate this with me.
I was able to be flexible andreceive that and be okay with
(04:39):
that and just adjust my scheduleand be able to help our
youngest child with her homeworkand get dinner ready and get
things, make things easier forhim when he gets home.
Because now this is also messingwith his schedule and just
instead of reacting in a waythat could cause issues for us
(05:00):
in our relationship, which inreturn cause issues in our home
with our kids schedule andissues with my self-care time, I
didn't react that way.
I just thought aboutcompromising Okay, this is
completely out of his control.
He is not intentionally tryingto mess with my self-care time.
(05:21):
He knows this is my set asidetimeide time for me each week,
this same day.
It's one day a week where thistime is set aside for me
specifically to do something formyself.
He's not intentionally doingthis.
He communicated with me.
He told me in advance to giveme a few hours to adjust my
schedule, to adjust thingsaround the home, and then
(05:42):
Internet Returns gives me theopportunity.
I didn't have to, but it givesme the opportunity to support
him and make things easier forhim, because now he's getting
later, getting home later thanwhat he wants to get home.
So instead of me thinking onlyabout myself, I can also support
my husband and think about himas well, to help lighten the
(06:03):
load for him.
Even though this is myself-care day and I could be
selfish and just think aboutmyself and how it would affect
me, I can also, in return, thinkabout how this is going to
affect him and help lighten hisload as well.
So that's what made me thinkabout.
Let's talk about compromise.
(06:24):
That's what made me think about.
Let's talk about compromise,compromising in relationships,
and how it is beneficial to ourrelationships and our marriages.
So what is compromise?
Compromise in relationships isabout finding solutions that
work for both partners, even ifit means not getting everything
(06:45):
you want.
Remember, I told you guys, Icould have easily just thought
about myself, but I was thinkingabout how is this going to be
beneficial for both of us?
I'm still going to give myselfcare time, I'm still going to be
able to record my podcast andedit my podcast and go out and
have dinner by myself and enjoymyself, but also I'm able to get
dinner fixed, I'm able to helpmy daughter with her homework,
(07:07):
and my husband is still able tohave those couple hours to do
stuff with the kids and getthings ready for them for
bedtime and also have a fewmoments for himself, because
he's getting home later thanwhat he planned on getting home.
It's about recognizing andrespecting each other's desires
(07:28):
and needs and working togetherto meet in the middle, because
it's not about one persongetting everything they want and
the other part not gettinganything, or vice versa, but
it's about meeting in the middleso both partners benefit.
Why is compromise important?
(07:48):
It builds a stronger connection.
Compromise demonstrates thatyou value your partner's
opinions and feelings, which canstrengthen the bond between you
.
Two, it resolves conflicts.
Compromise helps navigatedisagreements and find solutions
(08:09):
that satisfy both partners,preventing resentment and
conflict.
Three, it promotesunderstanding.
Compromising requires listeningto your partner's perspective
and understanding their needs,leading to greater empathy and
(08:29):
understanding.
Four it fosters a sense ofpartnership.
When you both contribute tofinding solutions, you create a
sense of teamwork and sharedresponsibility and shared
responsibility, and that's kindof what my husband and I did
(08:55):
with today.
It was not one partner in arelationship doing everything,
but it was about teamwork.
Even though today is myself-care day, I partnered with
him.
It was a partnership.
Care day I partnered with him.
It was a partnership.
I realized that he now has towork a couple hours later at
(09:16):
work than what he was supposedto do, than he usually has to.
So now this is going to be moreon him, less hours for him to
sleep, less hours before youknow, with what his usual
schedule is.
Instead of me only thinkingabout myself, I'm thinking about
how this is going to alsoaffect him.
So, instead of me not doinganything to help lighten his
(09:40):
load, to help take up the slack,I cook dinner, which I usually
don't do on Mondays.
I help my daughter with herhomework, which I usually don't
do on Mondays.
But this is about teamwork.
Because we're married, we'reboth parents, we're a team.
(10:00):
What affects one affects theother how to compromise
effectively, communicate openlyand honestly Express your
thoughts, feelings and desiresclearly to your partner and
invite them to do the same.
Listen actively, pay attentionto your partner's perspective
(10:29):
and try to understand theirpoint of view.
Be flexible.
Be willing to consider thedifferent options and adjust
your plans to meet yourpartner's needs.
This one was so good.
This is exactly what happenedtoday.
I was willing to be flexible.
My husband didn't even ask meto be flexible, but that was
(10:50):
something that I was willing todo on my own.
Find common ground, look forareas where you both agree and
build on no shared interest Onno shared interest.
Be patient.
Compromising takes time andeffort, so be patient with
(11:13):
yourself and your partner.
I thought this was a reallygreat one because, if I'm being
honest, I haven't always feltthis way.
The years ago, I would havetook this personally.
Or years ago, my husbandwouldn't even communicate it in
a way that he communicated to metoday.
(11:34):
That's what happened.
They were going to be, theyneeded them to stay late, et
cetera, et cetera, et cetera,with all the context, for me to
be able to empathize and reallyunderstand everything that was
going on With both of us.
It just would have been acompletely different experience.
It would have been.
(12:00):
I got to work late and then Iwould have been upset.
He knows, today is my self-careday, so be patient.
You or your partner may not beexactly where you want to be
when it comes to compromising,but you can grow.
You don't have to stay exactlywhere you want to be when it
comes to compromising, but youcan grow.
You don't have to stay exactlywhere you are right now.
You guys can continue to talkand have conversations and
(12:21):
communicate.
Man, communication is soimportant.
I promise I feel like I'mrepeating it over and over and
over and over and over.
I feel like I even say that inmy marriage a lot, in my
friendships, a lot in all myrelationships, a lot because
communication is so important.
I feel like we assume a lot andmost of the times when we
(12:42):
assume, we assume the worst.
I feel like this is what youwould have thought.
I assume this is how you wouldhave felt.
But if we communicate, if weput our feelings out there
openly and honestly, even if wethink we're not going to like
what we hear, we will know.
But be patient with one another.
(13:06):
Examples of compromise Decidingon a vacation destination
Instead of each partnerinsisting on their preferred
location.
You can brainstorm together andfind a compromise that suits
both of you.
Usually, when my husband and Iare vacationing, or even with
(13:26):
our kids as a family, what I doand this is the compromise that
we do because I'm big onvacations, I probably know this
as well, but I love to go onvacation and my husband has now
jumped on that bandwagon.
He loves to vacation as wellnow, but it hasn't always been
this way.
It hasn't but one of the thingsthat I do.
(13:50):
I ask everybody, whoever's goingon a vacation.
I ask everybody what is it thatyou would like to do?
What is it?
What type of activities are youinterested in?
What type of restaurants wouldyou like to go to?
Like?
What type of food would youlike to have?
Like?
What is it that you'reinterested in doing?
What type of surrounding placesdo you want to see?
Like, do you want to be in themountains?
(14:11):
Do you want it to be cold?
Do you want to be warm areas?
Do you want the beaches?
Like?
What is it that you'reinterested in?
And that's kind of how webrainstorm together to kind of
choose a place, because if I'mlooking for the cans in the
mountains and you're saying youwant the beach and the sand,
(14:32):
we're on different pages.
So we kind of got to brainstormto figure out together where
would we like to vacation.
But if you say you'd like to goto an NBA game and I'm saying I
want some Cajun food, okay, Isay it sounds like we can kind
of compromise on New Orleans,you know, because we can get
(14:54):
both.
I can get Cajun food, you canget your NBA game, you know.
So that's kind of how you cankind of brainstorm that thing
together where you both can meetin the middle.
He may not be able, he or shemay not be able to get that
beach and that sand, but theycan be able to get that NBA game
(15:15):
.
So that's kind of how youcompromise.
Because compromise back to whatwe were talking about earlier is
not where one person getseverything that they want while
the other partner gets none ofwhat they want, but it's about
you guys meeting in the middle.
None of what they want, butit's about you guys meeting in
the middle.
If both of you are able to getsome of the things that you want
(15:36):
, that's a beautiful thing.
That's a compromise.
Next example dividing householdchores Instead of one person
always doing the dishes.
You can agree on a schedulethat fairly distributes the
workload.
And the last example choosing amovie to watch.
(15:58):
Instead of each partnerinsisting on their preferred
movie, you can compromise bychoosing a genre or movie that
appeals to both of you.
Okay now, last but not least,because we've been talking about
compromise, there are sometimes when you should not
(16:19):
compromise or when to avoidcompromise.
I do want to touch on it alittle bit before we close out
today.
So when to avoid compromise?
Because I am aware there aresome times.
Number one, when your partneris being manipulative or abusive
(16:43):
.
If your partner is usingcompromise as a way to control
you or make you feel bad, it'simportant to set boundaries and
stand up for yourself, becausethis is a sensitive one here,
and I don't want you to justlisten to me and take my word
for that and assume that I knoweverything.
(17:06):
When it comes to this one.
I'm going to put a pen rightthere.
I'm just going to stick a penright here, because these points
that I'm making, this is justfrom a lot of research.
I would encourage you becauseI'm actively in therapy.
I would encourage you if you'reunsure about this one, right
(17:27):
here, because I know there maybe some people on the other end
of my voice who are in abusiverelationships or who are unsure.
If they are in abusiverelationships and I am speaking
from someone who have been inabusive relationships myself If
you are unsure, I wouldencourage you to speak with
(17:49):
someone, and speak with atrusted party, whether that's a
therapist or a counselor, ormaybe your pastor or a trusted
friend, somebody whom you trustbut I would personally encourage
a therapist, a non-biasedperson who can give you
(18:12):
resources, if this one righthere sticks out to you.
Yeah, I just wanted to makesure.
I said that.
I just didn't want to skim toofast past that.
(18:32):
Number two when your partner isnot willing to compromise.
If your partner is unwilling tolisten to your needs or find
solutions that work for both ofyou, it may be a sign of a
deeper problem in yourrelationship.
Number three when your valuesare at stake, there are some
(18:58):
things that are non-negotiableand you should not compromise on
your core values.
Okay, put an exclamation pointright there.
You know I'm not you and I'mnot going to tell you what your
(19:20):
core values are, but you knowwhat your core values is.
This is a relationship podcastfrom a Christian perspective.
So you know what one of my corevalues is is my faith.
That's a non-negotiable for me.
(19:43):
It's a non-negotiable.
That's one of my.
My faith, my relationship withGod, that's a non-negotiable for
me.
If anyone ever tried to make mecompromise when it came to my
walk with God, that would be anon-negotiable for me.
What are your non-negotiables?
(20:08):
What are those core values,those things that you're not
compromising for?
What are those values?
What are those things thatyou're not willing to give up
change?
What are those things?
For you?
That's when you avoidcompromise.
(20:30):
So, yeah, so compromise in aromantic relationship is a
beautiful, beautiful thing andit is beneficial to your
relationship, beneficial to yourmarriage, if you are willing to
apply it.
We can have things that youknow, things that we want to do,
(20:52):
that we want to hold on to holdon to that we desire, that we
want.
But at what cost?
Is it at the cost of yourmarriage?
Is it at the cost of yourromantic relationship with your
partner?
Because compromise is aboutboth people getting some of the
(21:18):
things that they need and desirein a relationship.
Are you willing to compromise?
I hope you have enjoyed today'sepisode.
Remember I love you, but Godloves you so much more.
Share this episode with someoneyou think would enjoy it.
Remember to follow me on allsocial media platforms on TikTok
(21:43):
and Facebook at Demo with Mo.
On Instagram at Demo with MoPodcast.
And I'll see you guys next week.
Bye, I hope you guys haveenjoyed Follow me on Facebook at
Demo with Mo.
If you have any questions youwould like answered here live on
(22:06):
my podcast, email them to me.
At Demo with Mo at gmailcom.
That's D-E-M-O-W-I-T-H-M-O atgmailcom.
what's up, guys?
Welcome to demo with mo.
I'm your host, monique simmons.
We'll be discussing dating,engaged and married objectives
from a young christian'sperspective.
Are you guys ready?
Let's dive in.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Welcome to a new episode ofdemo with mo.
(00:28):
I am your host, monique simmons, and today we are going to be
discussing compromises inromantic relationships.
I had a whole subject that I wasgoing to be discussing today.
I had a real life moment orexperience that happened and it
made me completely throw mytopic out of the window.
(00:51):
Well, let me not say throw itout of the window, but kind of
place it to the side to discussit at a later date.
You ever have that happen whereyou have a game plan, you have
something planned, you know whatyou're going to do, but it's
like something happens.
You're like this is the thingthat I really need to do, this
(01:13):
is the thing that I really needto talk about, this is the thing
that I really need to focus on.
Yeah, that's the moment that Ijust had Well.
That's the moment that I justhad Well Monday, as you guys
know, those of you who have beenrocking with me I need to get
that put on a t-shirt, becausethat's like one of my favorite
(01:33):
things to say.
I've been saying it over theyears.
Now, those of you who have beenrocking with me, like I really
need to like put that on at-shirt.
Those of you who have been withme for a while now, you probably
are aware that Mondays are myself-care days.
That's the day I usually recordpodcast episodes, unless I'm
interviewing a guest.
(01:54):
Mondays are my strict dayswhere I have this set-aside time
where I'm recording the podcastepisode, editing the podcast,
doing something for myself.
I usually go out to eat, I maygo for a drive, I may.
Whatever it is, it's just setaside self-care time.
(02:15):
Today I went and got my nailsdone and my feet done.
It's just self-care time whereI do something for myself.
It's a set aside, intentionalday where I focus on doing
something for myself, and I'vebeen doing it for a couple of
years now, since I've actuallybeen doing the podcast.
And today my husband called me,maybe in a couple hours before
(02:42):
his.
He called me before his usualtime to get out and said they
had some people to call and saythey had to do some things and
they were going to have to worklate, later than they would
usually have to work.
Well, you know, monday is myself-care day, so usually when
my husband gets home, I'mclocking out, and when I say
clock clocking out, I'm leavinghome and he's taking over duties
(03:06):
with the kids.
That's what I mean when I sayI'm clocking out.
Well, now, this changes things,because now he's going to get
off work late, so that's goingto change what I have planned,
because I usually have plannedin advance what I'm going to do
for that day.
Some days I may wing it I mean,some weeks I may wing it but I
usually have it planned.
I may wing it, but I usuallyhave it planned in advance,
exactly what I want to do,because I'm on a schedule Cause,
(03:29):
think about it I'm recordingthe podcast, I'm editing that
podcast, and I usually go outfor dinner and I edit the
podcast.
I usually choose a restaurantthat has wifi, cause I'm editing
the podcast on my laptop.
It's just a whole system.
It's something that you know.
It's a whole system to what Ido.
So it's and I try to be home bya decent hour because I still
(03:52):
have to get up early the nextmorning for work.
So it's a whole system.
So now this is going to put mebehind my usual schedule and I
like to do things a certain way.
So I'm saying this because nowthis is going to throw my
schedule off and it could.
I could easily get upset orfeel some type of way or all
(04:19):
type of things.
You know it's easy to getcaught up in that, you know.
But this is out of his control.
He has no authority over this.
He called me in advance tocommunicate this with me.
I was able to be flexible andreceive that and be okay with
(04:39):
that and just adjust my scheduleand be able to help our
youngest child with her homeworkand get dinner ready and get
things, make things easier forhim when he gets home.
Because now this is also messingwith his schedule and just
instead of reacting in a waythat could cause issues for us
(05:00):
in our relationship, which inreturn cause issues in our home
with our kids schedule andissues with my self-care time, I
didn't react that way.
I just thought aboutcompromising Okay, this is
completely out of his control.
He is not intentionally tryingto mess with my self-care time.
(05:21):
He knows this is my set asidetimeide time for me each week,
this same day.
It's one day a week where thistime is set aside for me
specifically to do something formyself.
He's not intentionally doingthis.
He communicated with me.
He told me in advance to giveme a few hours to adjust my
schedule, to adjust thingsaround the home, and then
(05:42):
Internet Returns gives me theopportunity.
I didn't have to, but it givesme the opportunity to support
him and make things easier forhim, because now he's getting
later, getting home later thanwhat he wants to get home.
So instead of me thinking onlyabout myself, I can also support
my husband and think about himas well, to help lighten the
(06:03):
load for him.
Even though this is myself-care day and I could be
selfish and just think aboutmyself and how it would affect
me, I can also, in return, thinkabout how this is going to
affect him and help lighten hisload as well.
So that's what made me thinkabout.
Let's talk about compromise.
(06:24):
That's what made me think about.
Let's talk about compromise,compromising in relationships,
and how it is beneficial to ourrelationships and our marriages.
So what is compromise?
Compromise in relationships isabout finding solutions that
work for both partners, even ifit means not getting everything
(06:45):
you want.
Remember, I told you guys, Icould have easily just thought
about myself, but I was thinkingabout how is this going to be
beneficial for both of us?
I'm still going to give myselfcare time, I'm still going to be
able to record my podcast andedit my podcast and go out and
have dinner by myself and enjoymyself, but also I'm able to get
dinner fixed, I'm able to helpmy daughter with her homework,
(07:07):
and my husband is still able tohave those couple hours to do
stuff with the kids and getthings ready for them for
bedtime and also have a fewmoments for himself, because
he's getting home later thanwhat he planned on getting home.
It's about recognizing andrespecting each other's desires
(07:28):
and needs and working togetherto meet in the middle, because
it's not about one persongetting everything they want and
the other part not gettinganything, or vice versa, but
it's about meeting in the middleso both partners benefit.
Why is compromise important?
(07:48):
It builds a stronger connection.
Compromise demonstrates thatyou value your partner's
opinions and feelings, which canstrengthen the bond between you
.
Two, it resolves conflicts.
Compromise helps navigatedisagreements and find solutions
(08:09):
that satisfy both partners,preventing resentment and
conflict.
Three, it promotesunderstanding.
Compromising requires listeningto your partner's perspective
and understanding their needs,leading to greater empathy and
(08:29):
understanding.
Four it fosters a sense ofpartnership.
When you both contribute tofinding solutions, you create a
sense of teamwork and sharedresponsibility and shared
responsibility, and that's kindof what my husband and I did
(08:55):
with today.
It was not one partner in arelationship doing everything,
but it was about teamwork.
Even though today is myself-care day, I partnered with
him.
It was a partnership.
Care day I partnered with him.
It was a partnership.
I realized that he now has towork a couple hours later at
(09:16):
work than what he was supposedto do, than he usually has to.
So now this is going to be moreon him, less hours for him to
sleep, less hours before youknow, with what his usual
schedule is.
Instead of me only thinkingabout myself, I'm thinking about
how this is going to alsoaffect him.
So, instead of me not doinganything to help lighten his
(09:40):
load, to help take up the slack,I cook dinner, which I usually
don't do on Mondays.
I help my daughter with herhomework, which I usually don't
do on Mondays.
But this is about teamwork.
Because we're married, we'reboth parents, we're a team.
(10:00):
What affects one affects theother how to compromise
effectively, communicate openlyand honestly Express your
thoughts, feelings and desiresclearly to your partner and
invite them to do the same.
Listen actively, pay attentionto your partner's perspective
(10:29):
and try to understand theirpoint of view.
Be flexible.
Be willing to consider thedifferent options and adjust
your plans to meet yourpartner's needs.
This one was so good.
This is exactly what happenedtoday.
I was willing to be flexible.
My husband didn't even ask meto be flexible, but that was
(10:50):
something that I was willing todo on my own.
Find common ground, look forareas where you both agree and
build on no shared interest Onno shared interest.
Be patient.
Compromising takes time andeffort, so be patient with
(11:13):
yourself and your partner.
I thought this was a reallygreat one because, if I'm being
honest, I haven't always feltthis way.
The years ago, I would havetook this personally.
Or years ago, my husbandwouldn't even communicate it in
a way that he communicated to metoday.
(11:34):
That's what happened.
They were going to be, theyneeded them to stay late, et
cetera, et cetera, et cetera,with all the context, for me to
be able to empathize and reallyunderstand everything that was
going on With both of us.
It just would have been acompletely different experience.
It would have been.
(12:00):
I got to work late and then Iwould have been upset.
He knows, today is my self-careday, so be patient.
You or your partner may not beexactly where you want to be
when it comes to compromising,but you can grow.
You don't have to stay exactlywhere you want to be when it
comes to compromising, but youcan grow.
You don't have to stay exactlywhere you are right now.
You guys can continue to talkand have conversations and
(12:21):
communicate.
Man, communication is soimportant.
I promise I feel like I'mrepeating it over and over and
over and over and over.
I feel like I even say that inmy marriage a lot, in my
friendships, a lot in all myrelationships, a lot because
communication is so important.
I feel like we assume a lot andmost of the times when we
(12:42):
assume, we assume the worst.
I feel like this is what youwould have thought.
I assume this is how you wouldhave felt.
But if we communicate, if weput our feelings out there
openly and honestly, even if wethink we're not going to like
what we hear, we will know.
But be patient with one another.
(13:06):
Examples of compromise Decidingon a vacation destination
Instead of each partnerinsisting on their preferred
location.
You can brainstorm together andfind a compromise that suits
both of you.
Usually, when my husband and Iare vacationing, or even with
(13:26):
our kids as a family, what I doand this is the compromise that
we do because I'm big onvacations, I probably know this
as well, but I love to go onvacation and my husband has now
jumped on that bandwagon.
He loves to vacation as wellnow, but it hasn't always been
this way.
It hasn't but one of the thingsthat I do.
(13:50):
I ask everybody, whoever's goingon a vacation.
I ask everybody what is it thatyou would like to do?
What is it?
What type of activities are youinterested in?
What type of restaurants wouldyou like to go to?
Like?
What type of food would youlike to have?
Like?
What is it that you'reinterested in doing?
What type of surrounding placesdo you want to see?
Like, do you want to be in themountains?
(14:11):
Do you want it to be cold?
Do you want to be warm areas?
Do you want the beaches?
Like?
What is it that you'reinterested in?
And that's kind of how webrainstorm together to kind of
choose a place, because if I'mlooking for the cans in the
mountains and you're saying youwant the beach and the sand,
(14:32):
we're on different pages.
So we kind of got to brainstormto figure out together where
would we like to vacation.
But if you say you'd like to goto an NBA game and I'm saying I
want some Cajun food, okay, Isay it sounds like we can kind
of compromise on New Orleans,you know, because we can get
(14:54):
both.
I can get Cajun food, you canget your NBA game, you know.
So that's kind of how you cankind of brainstorm that thing
together where you both can meetin the middle.
He may not be able, he or shemay not be able to get that
beach and that sand, but theycan be able to get that NBA game
(15:15):
.
So that's kind of how youcompromise.
Because compromise back to whatwe were talking about earlier is
not where one person getseverything that they want while
the other partner gets none ofwhat they want, but it's about
you guys meeting in the middle.
None of what they want, butit's about you guys meeting in
the middle.
If both of you are able to getsome of the things that you want
(15:36):
, that's a beautiful thing.
That's a compromise.
Next example dividing householdchores Instead of one person
always doing the dishes.
You can agree on a schedulethat fairly distributes the
workload.
And the last example choosing amovie to watch.
(15:58):
Instead of each partnerinsisting on their preferred
movie, you can compromise bychoosing a genre or movie that
appeals to both of you.
Okay now, last but not least,because we've been talking about
compromise, there are sometimes when you should not
(16:19):
compromise or when to avoidcompromise.
I do want to touch on it alittle bit before we close out
today.
So when to avoid compromise?
Because I am aware there aresome times.
Number one, when your partneris being manipulative or abusive
(16:43):
.
If your partner is usingcompromise as a way to control
you or make you feel bad, it'simportant to set boundaries and
stand up for yourself, becausethis is a sensitive one here,
and I don't want you to justlisten to me and take my word
for that and assume that I knoweverything.
(17:06):
When it comes to this one.
I'm going to put a pen rightthere.
I'm just going to stick a penright here, because these points
that I'm making, this is justfrom a lot of research.
I would encourage you becauseI'm actively in therapy.
I would encourage you if you'reunsure about this one, right
(17:27):
here, because I know there maybe some people on the other end
of my voice who are in abusiverelationships or who are unsure.
If they are in abusiverelationships and I am speaking
from someone who have been inabusive relationships myself If
you are unsure, I wouldencourage you to speak with
(17:49):
someone, and speak with atrusted party, whether that's a
therapist or a counselor, ormaybe your pastor or a trusted
friend, somebody whom you trustbut I would personally encourage
a therapist, a non-biasedperson who can give you
(18:12):
resources, if this one righthere sticks out to you.
Yeah, I just wanted to makesure.
I said that.
I just didn't want to skim toofast past that.
(18:32):
Number two when your partner isnot willing to compromise.
If your partner is unwilling tolisten to your needs or find
solutions that work for both ofyou, it may be a sign of a
deeper problem in yourrelationship.
Number three when your valuesare at stake, there are some
(18:58):
things that are non-negotiableand you should not compromise on
your core values.
Okay, put an exclamation pointright there.
You know I'm not you and I'mnot going to tell you what your
(19:20):
core values are, but you knowwhat your core values is.
This is a relationship podcastfrom a Christian perspective.
So you know what one of my corevalues is is my faith.
That's a non-negotiable for me.
(19:43):
It's a non-negotiable.
That's one of my.
My faith, my relationship withGod, that's a non-negotiable for
me.
If anyone ever tried to make mecompromise when it came to my
walk with God, that would be anon-negotiable for me.
What are your non-negotiables?
(20:08):
What are those core values,those things that you're not
compromising for?
What are those values?
What are those things thatyou're not willing to give up
change?
What are those things?
For you?
That's when you avoidcompromise.
(20:30):
So, yeah, so compromise in aromantic relationship is a
beautiful, beautiful thing andit is beneficial to your
relationship, beneficial to yourmarriage, if you are willing to
apply it.
We can have things that youknow, things that we want to do,
(20:52):
that we want to hold on to holdon to that we desire, that we
want.
But at what cost?
Is it at the cost of yourmarriage?
Is it at the cost of yourromantic relationship with your
partner?
Because compromise is aboutboth people getting some of the
(21:18):
things that they need and desirein a relationship.
Are you willing to compromise?
I hope you have enjoyed today'sepisode.
Remember I love you, but Godloves you so much more.
Share this episode with someoneyou think would enjoy it.
Remember to follow me on allsocial media platforms on TikTok
(21:43):
and Facebook at Demo with Mo.
On Instagram at Demo with MoPodcast.
And I'll see you guys next week.
Bye, I hope you guys haveenjoyed Follow me on Facebook at
Demo with Mo.
If you have any questions youwould like answered here live on
(22:06):
my podcast, email them to me.
At Demo with Mo at gmailcom.
That's D-E-M-O-W-I-T-H-M-O atgmailcom.
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