November 14, 2025 • 36 mins
Tired of “halal speed dating” that feels like a performance instead of a real path to marriage? In this episode, we get honest about the modern Muslim matrimonial scene—what’s actually helping people connect and what’s just… awkward. From wild rotation stories to on-stage “auditions,” we break down why five-minute pitches and public biodata walls never lead anywhere.
But we also share what does work: real pre-screening, balanced ratios, confidential spaces, and activities that bring out values, not rehearsed answers. We talk about what we’ve seen, hosting our own curated event and volunteering with organizers who actually get it.
If you’re trying to figure out which events to trust (or avoid), this episode gives you a clear, no-nonsense blueprint to navigate it all.
If something we said made you think, laugh, or feel seen, leave us a rating and review! It helps more people find the show. And hey, if you know someone who needs to hear this episode, send it their way. Sharing is caring!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
Every time I see a new matrimonial event pop up, I
can't tell if I should behopeful or just start praying
for the people attending.
It's like speed dating in hijabform.
But is it really helping peoplefind marriage or just making the
process more awkward, expensive,and exhausting?
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Let's talk about the good, the bad, and the downright
strange world of Muslimmatrimonial events.
Yeah, a new week, a new episode.
SPEAKER_02 (00:33):
Always.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
A question for you, Zayd.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Answer for you, Hiba.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
Since you are the one with the experience, long
experience with matrimonialevents, tell me about the
weirdest experience you had.
SPEAKER_02 (00:45):
Oh, the weirdest experience.
Um the weirdest one was at aconvention, which I won't name.
And um it was just like mostmatrimonial events, just another
speed dating event.
It was more like a fish market,to be honest.
It was crazy.
And I walk in and there's justthese vague directions um which
(01:07):
said, I think if you're over theage of 40, turn right, if you're
under the age of 40, turn leftand take a seat.
So I think um I think I went inthe right direction, if I recall
correctly, and I sat down, anduh, of course, like the speed
dating event started, we hadfive minutes, and we're taking
turns talking to one girl afteranother, and the guys, as
(01:29):
always, had to be the ones toget up and rotate.
So the first few seemed okay,like it was just you know uh
your casual conversations, andthen I think it might have been
the fourth or fifth person thatI spoke to.
Turned out she was 20 yearsolder than me.
Oh, uh, if I recall correctly,she was a teacher, um, and I
(01:52):
think she was looking to getremarried, and it was the most
awkward silence in the longestfive minutes of my life.
And uh somehow, some way I stillmanaged to diffuse the
awkwardness.
Oh I don't know, just talkingabout education, teaching, I
don't know how I got throughthose five minutes.
Um, but that one was foreveretched in my mind.
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
Wow.
Well, what's her name?
Demi Moore and Aston Kutchermade it.
SPEAKER_02 (02:20):
So actually they got divorced.
SPEAKER_01 (02:23):
Yes, but they were married, so okay, great.
SPEAKER_02 (02:26):
You're using an example of a divorce.
SPEAKER_01 (02:28):
No, there were other situations, no, of like a huge
difference where the woman isalways.
SPEAKER_02 (02:33):
Oh, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeter Jones.
I think there's like an18-year-old Did they get
divorced as well?
SPEAKER_01 (02:38):
Yeah, 18 years, yeah.
18 years.
SPEAKER_02 (02:39):
I don't know if they got divorced.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
Okay.
Okay, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
So how we're using celebrities as examples now for
Muslim matches.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
How how did the lady react like when she realized
your age?
SPEAKER_02 (02:51):
Um, she just kind of had a deer in the headlights
look, and um and we just knewthat we gotta get through these
five minutes because we werestuck.
It's not like I'm gonna get upand walk out.
Of course not.
SPEAKER_01 (03:03):
Yeah.
I can imagine that she wasfeeling way more awkward than
you.
SPEAKER_02 (03:09):
Yeah, yeah, I probably.
Yeah.
We'll see how much.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
Did she offer you a lollipop?
unknown (03:14):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (03:15):
No lollipop.
It was in the doctor's office.
SPEAKER_01 (03:19):
Okay, so how long, like how many events did you
attend in your how many?
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
I can't remember how many.
I've I lost count.
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:30):
But I had been to a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (03:31):
Okay.
Yeah.
And what is the feedback or theydon't how do you feel about
them?
SPEAKER_02 (03:37):
The the thing is, is that Muslim uh uh matrimonial
event organizers are doing thesame thing that apps are doing,
and they're modelingnon-Muslims, right?
Which is speed dating.
And uh apps are unfortunatelydoing the same thing, but we
dedicate an episode to the appso I won't talk too much about
that.
But if anybody is singlelistening and you've attended uh
(04:00):
a matrimonial event in theStates or in Canada, or even in
the UK, probably.
Um, chances are that you'veexperienced a speed dating event
where um you sit acrosssomebody, you have five minutes
to have a meaningfulconversation, and most likely if
you're a guy, you're you're theone that has to get up and
(04:20):
rotate and rotate and rotate,and you can't remember the last
person that you spoke to, and uhand just pray that you uh
develop some sort of connectionwith those five minutes and that
the person felt the same way,and that there's some sort of
follow-up after that.
That's pretty much what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (04:36):
So practically, how long like you can't spend I
don't know, 20 minutes with eachmatch, and like like practic
practicality also takes a placehere, right?
SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
Yeah, of course.
Um, so I mean we'll we'll getinto that in a little bit in
terms of how they should bedone.
Uh in my opinion, uh like betterways to do that.
Um Baba Ali is an expert on theuh on live events.
Um so if you haven't attended anHOD live event, you should
definitely check those out.
SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
Um to the UK, Australia, different states, all
over the place and Canada.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
And people have wonderful feedback about his
events.
Um, but generally speaking, um,no, you cannot practically spend
20 minutes with each person, andespecially if there's um 30, 40,
or even 50 girls attending, howare you gonna get through
everyone?
But there are things as anorganizer you can do to make
sure that people are getting ameaningful experience and that
(05:34):
um there are there's a higherpossibility of fruitful
outcomes.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Okay, we'll get to that, I guess.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
We'll get to that.
And we did our own matrimonialevent, which we'll talk about in
a second.
Yeah, but um, let's talk aboutspecifically matrimonial events.
So, before, I mean our parents'generation, our parents did not
meet at a matrimonial event.
Imagine Imagine your mom and dadmeeting at a matrimonial event.
Even my parents, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
But the next generation, when they ask, Oh
daddy, how did you meet mommy?
They're like at a matrimonialevent.
SPEAKER_02 (06:02):
Yeah, exactly.
So they didn't exist exist 20years ago, or maybe 20 years
ago.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
Maybe I think 20 years ago they didn't exist.
SPEAKER_02 (06:09):
But probably, so let's go further back.
I would say in the 80s.
In the 80s, they probably didn'texist, at least with Muslims.
Um, so why do they exist now?
Because there's a need for it.
You know, um Muslims aredelaying marriage.
Um, the recent statistic whichwe found states that over 40
Muslims in North America aresingle past the age of 30.
SPEAKER_01 (06:31):
40 percent.
SPEAKER_02 (06:32):
Oh, sorry, did I say the age of 40?
SPEAKER_01 (06:34):
No, you said over 40 Muslims.
SPEAKER_02 (06:36):
Oh, sorry.
Over 40% of Muslims in NorthAmerica.
SPEAKER_01 (06:39):
Yeah, we counted them.
There were 40 Muslims out there.
SPEAKER_02 (06:42):
Are single past the age of for 30.
And that's scary.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
Yeah, take a moment.
Think about it.
40 per over 40% are that'scrazy.
SPEAKER_02 (06:53):
Um, you know, Dr.
Fahd was just talking about thisat the past in the past uh
episode which we released, yeah.
Uh, which was this is a commonproblem back home uh in
Pakistan, he was talking about,right?
Yeah, that uh the common age ofmen getting married was 30,
sometimes 35.
Um and I can't remember theexact reason why, but it was
(07:14):
mainly due to financialstability, financial reasons.
But there's no reason why wekind of have to import that same
problem here.
Like we import the culture, butwe don't have to import the
problems too associated with theculture.
Yes, yeah, it's more than anepidemic now.
Yeah, and oh yes, second part ofthat statistic is nearly 70% of
them find it difficult to meetcompatible Muslims for marriage.
(07:35):
So we have an epidemic, needlessto say.
Um, and uh we have to askourselves the serious question
are the solutions that we'reproviding as a community, as
event organizers, solving thisproblem or not?
And the numbers speak forthemselves, and the answer is
no.
Right?
And why is that the case?
Um, God, we can talk about thisfor hours.
(07:58):
Number one, like I said in thebeginning, if we are modeling
non-Muslims and trying to findsolutions uh with people that
prioritize dating and livingtogether pre-marriage, then
obviously we're not gonna solveour problems, right?
When it comes because ourproblems are unique to our
religion, right?
(08:19):
So I'm not here to bash events,you know.
Matrimonial events uh do havesome success, um, and there are
wonderful event organizers outthere.
I'm just speaking from personalexperience and as somebody that
has uh hosted a matrimonialevent in the past, too.
We both did that, in fact.
Um, so there are a lot of goodthings.
You know, some events theyespecially when they're done in
(08:41):
a smaller group, uh, there'smany event organizers that do a
very good job organizing them,matching people up based on
similarities, you know, matchingpeople up on common interests
and values.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
Um what else it's also good like for people who
are new in this kind of likeinteractions, people maybe who
are not used to talking to theopposite gender.
Yeah.
So it's like it's a goodintroduction to this world in
like a a structured or like asupervised way, you can say.
SPEAKER_02 (09:10):
I mean, and I totally get it.
You know, I grew up in a veryconservative environment, and so
talking to the opposite gendercan be a little awkward, you
know, especially if you knowyou're not used to it.
So, yeah, like you said, justit's uh in a halal supervised
environment.
In fact, a lot of eventorganizers will even invite a
scholar to come speak and tojust like give you some uh
(09:32):
nasiha.
Yeah, right?
So, yeah, in general, they'rethey're done by professional
event organizers, people withexperience, and and we come
across stories sometimes ofpeople who have found their
significant other at matrimonialevents, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
Yeah, okay, so that was the good.
What's the ugly?
SPEAKER_02 (09:51):
The ugly is basically almost everything I've
seen, with the exception of BabaAli.
Baba Ali is just uh kind of in aleague of his own.
SPEAKER_01 (10:02):
He's a pioneer.
SPEAKER_02 (10:03):
Yes, he is.
Um, but the ugly.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthat.
Like I said in the beginning,speed dating does not work.
You cannot get to know somebodyfor the purpose of marriage
within five minutes.
And I know what your counterquestion is uh, how can you
practically?
And we'll get into that in abit.
Um, so speed dating number onedoes not work.
Uh a really funny story we justheard, maybe I think it was just
(10:24):
two weeks ago.
So we were at a convention, wewon't name the convention, and
uh, as we usually do, we just gotalk to people at their booths,
uh, speak to the vendors, talkabout marriage and halal match.
And one brother approached usand uh was asking us about our
service and how it works.
And uh we or I asked him, so howdid the matrimonial event go at
(10:46):
the convention here?
And he said literally that um itwas a complete disaster, and
that he was basically on stage,um, or that the men were going
up on stage one after another,essentially auditioning to the
girls for marriage, like sayinga few things, and the girls were
just standing there in thebackground, the guys just had to
(11:06):
go up, I think, with a mic orsomething and just talk about
themselves.
SPEAKER_01 (11:09):
Oh, I'm trying to imagine it.
And the girls, they're like, youknow, uh models going on the
stage, like modeling the clothesand stuff, and everyone's
watching.
And the girl might be like, Oh,daddy, daddy, can I have him?
Can I get them?
SPEAKER_02 (11:26):
It sounds like god, I wish I was just there to uh
observe.
SPEAKER_01 (11:30):
Yeah, that's um honestly, that's humiliating.
SPEAKER_02 (11:32):
It is it's so humiliating.
I don't I don't I think I'd walkout if I was asked to do that.
I think I'd definitely walk out.
SPEAKER_01 (11:38):
He he also mentioned that they kept uh changing the
format uh like every I don'tknow 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (11:44):
Exactly, because they realized that they were
matching people up with uhsignificant age gaps.
SPEAKER_01 (11:49):
Yeah, so yeah, they kept changing it.
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
Uh another problem that I've come across many, many
times, which I referred to injust in the beginning, is the
lack of pre-screening.
And I'm sure I'm not the onlyone where guys are getting
matched up with girls that aremuch older than them, or vice
versa, girls are getting matchedup with guys that are like 20,
30 years older than them.
So there has to be, I mean, BabaElise talked about this too.
(12:14):
Uh and I can't say this for afact, but it does sometimes feel
like it's just a money game tofor event organizers.
SPEAKER_01 (12:21):
Because like you are pre- I don't I don't know if
it's right to say it, but likeyou're preying on the needs of
people who might feel desperate.
Right.
Right?
And they're grabbing to anychance, any straw.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
So they charge$75, $100 for these events, and
they're walking into a fishmarket.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
If they're worth it, then charge more.
And another element of lack ofscreening, and I remember I saw
multiple like um TV, uh not TV,TV shows or YouTube like um
documentaries or something inthe UK about uh the Muslim
matrimonial scene there and themany events they hold.
And uh I saw in my own eyes,like the girl goes to this
(12:58):
event, this room, and like thereare I don't know, 50 women and
like three or four guys.
And imagine, like, imagine howawkward the guys must feel.
And imagine how awkward thewomen must feel, and like the
competition between them andlike at that point, man, the
event organizers should at leastrefund their money.
SPEAKER_02 (13:18):
Absolutely.
They should.
It's that's just wrong.
Yeah, they're just stealingmoney from them.
So, kind of going back to thatpoint, an imbalance of genders.
Like, yes, sometimes Iunderstand people won't show up.
Ababa Lee has mentioned a fewtimes where like the girls would
get so scared they just startgetting nauseous and vomiting,
and like they wouldn't need theywouldn't even walk into the
room.
So I get that.
(13:38):
So, but to the best of yourability, having a balance of
girls and guys, there shouldn't,there's no reason for what you
just mentioned.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, performance pressure isalso an issue.
You're on this timer, likeliterally, there's a timer going
on in your head, like, oh mygod, I gotta put on the best
performance I can within fiveminutes, and otherwise I'm going
(13:58):
home single, right?
SPEAKER_01 (14:00):
So And they also what they do, I remember in one
of the events, one of the big uhconferences here in Canada, they
also have the biodatas of allthe attendees on the wall.
Yeah, like your walking.
I've been to that.
SPEAKER_02 (14:14):
I've been to that.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Wow.
Yes, like you're browsing andlike you're trying to assess
just based on what?
On height and income, and Idon't know, it doesn't sound
right.
SPEAKER_02 (14:24):
Yeah, and people were taking pictures of the
biodatas on the wall or likegrabbing the papers.
SPEAKER_01 (14:29):
Where's the element of privacy, right?
And some events, what do youthink about this?
Some events where like thesingle person comes with their
uh parent.
Oh, I don't like it at all.
And the parents are sitting onthe side.
SPEAKER_02 (14:41):
Oh no, no, I hate that.
I hate it.
SPEAKER_01 (14:44):
Why?
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
The same reason we don't uh allow parents to go
through the process with us,with halal match, right?
Like we do allow parents on thediscovery call if the client
wishes for it, but after thatthe parents have to stay out of
the process.
Uh, not that we're excludingparents, you guys can go back
and watch the parents uh orlisten to the parents' episode.
We've actually did two episodesabout parents.
(15:07):
So we have our reason andjustification for that.
But going back to your question,why do I hate that?
Because it's just unnecessarypressure.
I mean, this is a supervisedenvironment, right?
There's no khalua happening.
Chances are there might be evenbe a scholar there, but it's an
organized event.
Um, girls and guys are comingwith the sincere intention of
marriage, so there is no reasonfor a parent to be there unless
(15:31):
you think because the the signalthat I'm getting as a guy is
that your daughter is incapableof assessing compatibility for
herself, so she needs mommy tohold her hand for her.
SPEAKER_01 (15:41):
So no, because the parents sit on the side, they
are not like on the same tables.
SPEAKER_02 (15:46):
So still, like why are they there then?
Um you don't trust yourdaughter, you don't trust your
daughters.
You don't trust the guys?
Like like your girl's not gonnaget assaulted, she's not gonna
get like nothing's gonna happen.
It's an uh it's a professionallyrun event, right?
So it's something that doesreally irritate me.
And I don't think I don't know,I'd be I'd really I'd be really
(16:07):
hard pressed to move ahead witha girl whose mom or dad are
there unless it's somethingreally that stands out about
her.
SPEAKER_00 (16:16):
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (16:18):
Yeah.
Going back to the cost, so onaverage these events cost I
would say$75 to$100.
And it it does sometimes feellike event organizers are
exploiting people's situation,like you just mentioned.
Loneliness, depression, just thegeneral need to get married.
(16:40):
And uh they sometimes know thatthere aren't many options out
there.
SPEAKER_01 (16:45):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
And so people are gonna pay for this.
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
So the problem is like we discussed in a previous
episode, that we are notcreating safe enough
environments for people to meetand interact organically.
Like uh either it's uh I don'tknow, it's uh segregated dars at
a masjid, or it's a matrimonialevent that's poorly organized.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:07):
So there are no other options.
Yeah, and then you wonder whypeople are going to the apps
because we're failing as acommunity.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
And then people attend the events because they
were disappointed with the apps.
SPEAKER_02 (17:16):
So it's a perpetual cycle.
SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
Exactly, yeah.
And uh some, I'm not gonna sayall, some event organizers, they
just like you said, exploitthat.
SPEAKER_02 (17:25):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
If you're overwhelmed andburdened and just don't know
where to seek help, let us helpyou.
We can be your personalmatchmakers.
Visit us at halalmatch.ca andbook a free call with us.
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
Okay, so we said that there are a minority of
events that are worth it.
How to identify those?
SPEAKER_02 (17:48):
Okay, so Baba Ali.
It's fair to talk about Baba Aliat this point, right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:52):
I guess so.
And uh by the way, guys, BabaAli is not paying us to do this,
and he probably doesn't knowthat we're talking about him.
Yeah, but uh because we trustwhat he does.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
Yeah, we trust and people, countless people have,
even though they've beenunsuccessful uh at some of his
events, they still praise hisevents.
Uh I mean people fly out fromfar away just to attend his uh
live events.
SPEAKER_01 (18:15):
We helped in one of his events, so we've been there
actually, and we saw how it'srun.
SPEAKER_02 (18:19):
Exactly.
So what does he do?
And something that we've done atour own matrimonial event is
screening.
Many times people just signingup for a matrimonial event does
not necessarily mean they areserious, right?
So when we did our matrimonialevent, we didn't just do a paper
screening, we did a videoscreening.
(18:40):
We schedule calls with them andwe asked them questions after
questions, and only after thatcall did we decide that you know
a person that this person shouldattend our event.
Yeah.
So we did charge more.
Um, we'll be honest, we charge$150 for our matrimonial event.
Canadian.
Canadian.
Um, but we did something verydifferent, which was not just a
(19:01):
video level pre-screening, butwe only invited people to our
event if we found somebody thatcould be a compatible match for
them.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
So we did uh we did double screening.
We had them fill out a form.
SPEAKER_02 (19:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
And we had a video call with them.
And if we were able to find agood match for them, then they
got an invitation.
SPEAKER_02 (19:21):
And the cool thing about our event was that it was
split into two portions.
The first pro portion was moreof a workshop activities, really
just to get people warmed up andcomfortable.
Um, so we shared a lot of thingsfrom the Quran and Sunnah, and
we played some games.
And then after that, we hadpeople sit one-on-one with the
(19:43):
person that we had in mind forthem.
So the match that we consideredfor them.
And they and we also had somefood too.
Oh, we had charcuterie boards.
It was a charcuterie board, sothey got to enjoy some snacks
with their match, and uh, wegave them some I mean, we still
stayed in the room, but someprivacy to an extent, uh, to get
to know their match.
And we I think we gave them somequestions or an act something to
(20:04):
do at the table, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:05):
Yeah, the activities.
SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
Okay, I mean the right.
So the activities we did as partof the workshop, and plus we had
some activities for them to dowith their match.
SPEAKER_01 (20:12):
Now it's fair to mention, guys, that it ended up
in zero percent success.
SPEAKER_02 (20:19):
Yeah, well, there was one match that happened at
the event, but uh for whateverreason the the individuals
didn't follow through and itdidn't end up in marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
But regardless, it was a small event, it was only
14 people.
SPEAKER_02 (20:32):
Yeah, it was a small event.
Seven couples.
So, yes, we're gonna becompletely honest.
Like you said, it wasn't uhthere weren't many successful
matches that came out of thatevent.
But I'm still proud of the workwe did, and I still do believe
that um we did the best we couldin terms of providing value.
SPEAKER_01 (20:49):
So, in terms of providing value, screening and
all of that, I think that wasgreat.
But I think the the formula uhwe had in our head, which is to
match each person with oneperson and have them sit on one
t on like their own small tablefor like what was it, two an
hour and a half.
SPEAKER_02 (21:07):
We gave them more than two hours, actually.
Something like that.
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
That didn't prove successful, yeah.
Yeah, but that's I guess that'ssomething we learned.
But screening is very important,yes.
So nobody ended up sitting withsomeone who was not serious
about marriage or who was wayolder or younger, or they didn't
share the same interests.
SPEAKER_02 (21:26):
Right.
Everybody that came there wasserious about marriage.
Now, the important thing to noteis that I'm not against talking
to multiple potential matches.
I'm not against getting up fromone table and then speaking to
somebody else and speaking tosomebody else.
What I'm against is the typicalspeed dating format of five to
seven minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Seven minutes is even good.
I don't think they give sevenminutes.
They give like two minutes,three minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:49):
I think it's less than that.
Yeah, so even five minutes feelsa bit generous.
So we were talking about what tolook for in an event.
Number one, like you said, uhscreening.
Number two, is there a balancein genders?
When people are hosting anevent, you can always contact
the event organizer throughEventbrite or if it's Baba Ali,
you can send the team an emailand just ask them these very
basic questions.
Is there a balance in genders?
(22:10):
Is there screening?
Is there any room to learn aboutthe person's values?
Uh, what kind of activities arethere at the event, right?
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
Or are you just supposed to be what is the
structure of the event?
SPEAKER_02 (22:22):
What is the structure of the event?
Um, but more specifically, whatkind of activities are there?
Um, so I've been to a lot ofmatrimonial events, speed dating
events, where it's just likefind the person that likes
Biryani.
Oh my god.
Or like find the person who'snever seen a Hollywood movie,
and then it just becomes ahunting game, and then you find
the person, then you sit downwith them, and then you have
your list of questions.
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
This is how you assess compatibility.
SPEAKER_02 (22:45):
And it's like there's no fun element to it.
SPEAKER_01 (22:48):
There's no No, actually, it sounds like a lot
of fun, but no value.
SPEAKER_02 (22:51):
No value.
But um, there's the activitiesthemselves, they don't allow
somebody to step out of theircomfort zone, they don't help
people who are shy.
Let's uh give one of Baba Ali'sactivities as an example.
SPEAKER_00 (23:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
Oh, I remember the straight line.
So Baba Ali had all the ladiesstand in a straight line at one
point, and then all the guysstand in a straight line at one
point.
And then he would ask questionslike, or would you marry
somebody who's divorced?
If yes, step back.
If no, stand where you are.
(23:26):
Right?
Yeah.
And so the guys could kind ofsee uh what girls would be okay
with that depending on theircircumstances.
SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
Would you marry an independent a strong independent
woman?
And then the guy some guys wouldstep and exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (23:39):
And then at the tables there were a lot of fun
group activities where you hadto work with each other to solve
problems.
SPEAKER_01 (23:46):
So you get to see their competitive side, if they
are the team player type, yeah,if they are the I don't know,
backstabbing type, because theactivities they were very
competitive.
They were very fun.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
Yeah, one of the games that we did at our
matrimonial event was somebodyhad to so there were two teams,
and each team had to pick acaptain or leader and go speak
at the front of the room and tryto convince.
So I think one of the tasks wasconvince me why Trump should be
president, or something likethat, right?
(24:17):
Like something random.
Yeah.
And uh then people would have tovote and say, okay, yes, I'm
convinced or I'm not convinced,right?
That was fun.
SPEAKER_01 (24:24):
So you get to see people just the way the way they
express themselves, the way theythink.
Are they confident?
Are they?
I just laughed uh a minute agobecause I remembered Baba Ali
said in one of his events, hewas like doing this uh there was
uh this activity, yeah, andthere was a Nihabi girl on the
table.
Yes, remember that?
(24:44):
And I don't know, for somereason they had like she flipped
and did like 118 ninja move.
SPEAKER_02 (24:51):
No, no, no, they were doing the uh it was one of
those on your feet activities.
SPEAKER_03 (24:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah.
And so it was it like so.
The point that he was making wasthat first impressions are on
everything, don't judge a bookby its cover.
SPEAKER_03 (25:01):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (25:01):
So she had she did a backflip.
Oh, the Nagawi girl doing abackflip.
I'm like, wow, yeah, I've neverseen that before.
SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
And then I think uh in another uh activity, they
were supposed to like go fromlike one table to another and
like to fight try to find cardsor something, I'm not sure.
Yeah, and there was a guy wholike uh showed zero ethics
because he like he was socompetitive.
Yeah, he was cheating, either hewas cheating or like he he did
(25:29):
something that showed zeroethics.
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
Oh, and I remember another story he shared was uh
one of the girls was completelyowning the table.
Yes, and she was like, All youhave what did she say?
SPEAKER_00 (25:39):
Yeah, like uh you all have to listen to me.
SPEAKER_02 (25:42):
Yeah, she was a complete matriarch.
Yeah, and I'm in charge here,and you all have to listen to
me.
And she was just instructing allthe men at the table.
SPEAKER_01 (25:49):
So you see, you get to see different sides of the
person.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
And the most important thing is that it's all
halal.
Of course, yeah.
There is no hand holding,there's no haloa, there's no
inappropriate behavior.
The point is that it's in asupervised, controlled
environment, and that is done bya professional event organizer,
and it's all with the intentionof marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
And these activities are all like very well
calculated, designed to re eachactivity is designed to reveal
something.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (26:17):
So So, yes, that's that's the other point worth
mentioning that is the way theevent is structured allowing
people to reveal things aboutthemselves, right?
Are the organizers trustworthyand genuinely marriage focused,
or are they just trying to grabyour money?
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
Yeah.
Right?
And at the end of the event, Iremember um there was like uh
one hour or something formingling, just everyone mingling
like anyone interested.
Yeah, what yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
If you guys came up to you asking if you were
looking for yeah, there was aguy interested in me.
I'm like, I was kind offlattered at that point.
I'm like, my wife's pretty yougot it, you still got some
charm.
Um a lot of charm.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Um, and also are there follow-upsystems in place for
connections?
Exactly.
Yes.
So Baba Ali has a wonderful uhsystem.
(27:04):
So I think it's an app where umit's completely like uh anon not
anonymous, but um the thematches don't know the response
of the other person.
So you basically like uh checkthe box if you're interested in
a girl, and if the other girl isalso interested, then um you
guys get a like uh a ding, anotification or something,
(27:27):
right?
SPEAKER_01 (27:28):
So yeah, if only one person is interested, the other
person wouldn't know it.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (27:32):
Yeah, so you don't get that feeling of rejection.
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
Exactly.
That's very smart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, Mr.
Expert.
Since you seem to be a goodidea.
I'm not an expert.
I don't know.
We dedicated 40 minutescriticizing events.
SPEAKER_02 (27:44):
Well, we talked about the good and the bad, so
it wasn't all critical.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Okay.
So if you had the uh capacityand the budget to plan or design
your perfect event, how would itlook like?
SPEAKER_02 (27:57):
Okay, so that's a good question.
I think I would build upon whatwe did before.
Do a better version of that.
Like I said, I'm not againstpeople rotating tables.
Um what I think we should haveis number one, a yes, screening,
a balance of genders, a small uhnumber of people.
(28:18):
So I don't think I would do morethan 30, max 40.
SPEAKER_01 (28:24):
40 people or 40 couples?
SPEAKER_02 (28:26):
40 people, okay.
Right?
Like even 40 feels a bit of astretch.
So 20, 20, 20 guys, 20 girls.
So I would try to keep the thevenue small.
Also something that Baba Alidoes does, which I love.
Uh keeping the locationconfidential.
SPEAKER_01 (28:40):
Of course.
Yes.
I think he's not the only onewho does this.
No, he's not the only one.
SPEAKER_02 (28:44):
No, uh he's the only one that I know of that does
that.
Yeah.
Even when we did our event atthe uh uh womanpreneur event,
um, we didn't exactly give thelocation of the room of where
it's happening.
So we try to keep it asconfidential as possible because
we don't want people justwalking in.
So keeping the locationconfidential.
So let's talk about thestructure of the event.
(29:06):
I would do a lot of on your feetactivities, on um group
activities.
So I would pull a lot ofactivities from our ebook, the
political candidate game.
I'd play that again, mayberefine it a bit.
I would do what's cooking, um,which is another activity we've
done with our clients where youknow you have to come up with a
(29:26):
crazy recipe to make a dish.
Uh I mean you're given a list ofcrazy ingredients and you have
to come up with a weird dish.
And so everybody has to worktogether.
Um, so a lot of group activitieswhere people are forced to
speak, forced to come out oftheir comfort zone, and uh
forced to collaborate.
Um, but the rotations are nothappening after one on one
(29:47):
interactions.
The rotations are happeningafter one group activity from
one group activity to another,which is what Baba Ali does.
Yeah.
Right?
So it's not one to one speeddating, it's for lack of a
better term, group dating.
To group speed dating.
Yeah.
Right.
And um, you're spending enoughtime on each table to really get
an idea of this other personthat's working with you on
(30:09):
whatever activity.
And then, of course, I Iwouldn't do dinner.
Dinner becomes a hugedistraction and a waste of time.
Maybe a charcuterie board uh foreach table, a large enough
charcuterie board for eachtable.
On your feet activities, so Iwould get the groups to get off
the table, get on your feet, dosomething like charades,
something like that, which BabaAli did.
And of course, have a goodfollow-up, a feedback form as
(30:33):
well as a follow-up, uh, wherepeople can say, you know, I was
interested in this person.
And each person would have aname badge.
And yeah, you would uh, youknow, either write it down on a
form before you leave, uh, emailus, whatever it might be.
Like I would think more about agood proper follow-up form.
And um, and of course, follow upwith clients maybe a month down
(30:54):
the road, see how things aregoing.
SPEAKER_01 (30:56):
So, how is how is this different from Baba Ali's
events?
SPEAKER_02 (31:00):
Uh, how is it different?
Because our games are a bitdifferent.
I wouldn't steal his games, wehave our own unique games.
Baba Ali didn't exactly have thebest snacks available, I would
say.
Yeah, we all left hungry.
And so I would do charcuterieboards with a sufficient number
of snacks for each people, foreach group on the table.
(31:23):
Um, so that those are two thingsthat I would do to keep it
different.
Um, what else would I do?
I think I would do more thanjust virtual screening.
I don't know if I do videoscreening again, that was too
much on us, but I would do amore lengthy digital form of
screening, maybe a one-to-pageassessment uh to see if they are
(31:44):
a good fit for the event.
Um I would keep the event, Iwould say two and a half, three
hours max.
Even that feels like a bit of astretch.
Oh, yes.
And the other important thing,which Baba Ali doesn't do, no,
I'm not criticizing Baba Ali.
I love Baba Ali and he does awonderful job.
But what I would do differentlyis I would have a premarital
(32:05):
workshop component attached toit.
SPEAKER_03 (32:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (32:08):
Um, which we do, by the way.
We've done it at Muzjids and uhwe've done it for MSAs.
And uh I would definitely addthat component, so a shorter
version, because our workshopgoes on for about three hours.
So I'll do maybe a half hour,maybe 45-minute workshop, giving
them some basic tools that theycan use into the matrimonial
(32:28):
event itself.
If possible, maybe extending theevent and uh bringing on a
scholar to speak.
Um, but that might be stretchingit a bit too much.
So I don't know.
All of these things, like wehaven't done a matrimonial event
since that day, because itreally took a lot of energy and
work out of us.
But we haven't completelyremoved it off the table.
We might do it again at somepoint.
Uh, but those are the things Iwould do different.
SPEAKER_01 (32:49):
Okay.
To be honest, sounds tooidealistic.
No, actually, no.
No.
Sounds just like somemodifications to Baba Ali's
events.
I was honestly looking forsomething completely unique that
is not being done.
Like right now, what's beingdone is either speed dating or
(33:09):
like activities or somethinglike that.
I was doing looking forsomething revolutionary.
Not revolutionary in terms ofhow technology so I don't have
the answer, but I'm looking.
Maybe some guys, if you'relistening, well, I know you're
listening because you can hearme right now exactly.
So if you have like an idea forsomething unique, I don't know.
(33:31):
Like when social media came out,for example, that was unique.
There was nothing like itbefore.
It didn't build on anythingbefore.
Maybe messenger, messenger wasnot social media.
SPEAKER_02 (33:40):
Well, I'm not building on Baba Ali, I'm
building on what we've done.
SPEAKER_01 (33:43):
Okay, so what we've done is similar, like it falls
under the same category ofwhat's out there.
Um activities, rotations, food,all of that.
Right.
I mean, looking for somethingcompletely unique.
SPEAKER_02 (33:58):
So it has to be in person, it has to be private,
there has to be screeninginvolved.
Okay, there has to be active.
So I'm just thinking about thecore element.
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
That's that's uh factors, that's more like
factors, not elements.
Like that's parameters.
Parameters, okay.
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
Yeah, um so what did I say?
Uh confidentiality, uhscreening, balance uh of
genders, small venue, um, uniqueactivities.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
I'm looking for a unique structure.
I don't have the answer.
SPEAKER_02 (34:27):
So I would say our first matrimonial event was
unique in its structure.
Yes, it was.
It was.
I guess it's because it was,like we said, one-on-one.
It was one-on-one, a premaritalworkshop attached to it.
But the fact that it wasn'tfruitful is is something to
learn from.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
Yeah, of course.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (34:47):
So we can't put all our eggs in one basket and
expect results.
SPEAKER_01 (34:51):
So yeah, um I'm still you know what?
SPEAKER_02 (34:53):
I'll just kind of leave that for the audience.
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
I think that's gonna be my next project.
Coming up with a unique idea fora matrimonial event.
SPEAKER_02 (35:00):
I would love to do another matrimonial event.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
Me too.
But only if it's different.
I don't want to copy what peopleare doing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:05):
We're not gonna copy people.
We don't copy people.
We our first one was unique, andI think we could build off of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:11):
Okay, guys, if you have any ideas for us or girls,
or girls, how to make how todesign a unique uh matrimonial
event, please shoot us an email.
Like I'm thirsty for some freshideas.
SPEAKER_02 (35:26):
For sure.
Okay, okay.
I guess we could leave you guyswith that, or just other
questions.
Um, if you guys have been tomatrimonial events, please share
your experiences.
We'd love to you know, was it anaudition-like experience?
Was it not?
Was it speed dating?
Uh, or did you, you know, meetyour significant other at a
matrimonial event?
Let us know.
(35:46):
Um, we'd love to learn from youguys.
The only way this podcast growsis, you know, if you guys
interact with us and give usyour feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
And and also let us know what uh new topics would
you like us to discuss in futureepisodes.
SPEAKER_02 (35:59):
That too.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:00):
All right.
Until next time.
Salaam alaykum alaikum.
Every time I see a new matrimonial event pop up, I
can't tell if I should behopeful or just start praying
for the people attending.
It's like speed dating in hijabform.
But is it really helping peoplefind marriage or just making the
process more awkward, expensive,and exhausting?
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Let's talk about the good, the bad, and the downright
strange world of Muslimmatrimonial events.
Yeah, a new week, a new episode.
SPEAKER_02 (00:33):
Always.
SPEAKER_01 (00:33):
A question for you, Zayd.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
Answer for you, Hiba.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
Since you are the one with the experience, long
experience with matrimonialevents, tell me about the
weirdest experience you had.
SPEAKER_02 (00:45):
Oh, the weirdest experience.
Um the weirdest one was at aconvention, which I won't name.
And um it was just like mostmatrimonial events, just another
speed dating event.
It was more like a fish market,to be honest.
It was crazy.
And I walk in and there's justthese vague directions um which
(01:07):
said, I think if you're over theage of 40, turn right, if you're
under the age of 40, turn leftand take a seat.
So I think um I think I went inthe right direction, if I recall
correctly, and I sat down, anduh, of course, like the speed
dating event started, we hadfive minutes, and we're taking
turns talking to one girl afteranother, and the guys, as
(01:29):
always, had to be the ones toget up and rotate.
So the first few seemed okay,like it was just you know uh
your casual conversations, andthen I think it might have been
the fourth or fifth person thatI spoke to.
Turned out she was 20 yearsolder than me.
Oh, uh, if I recall correctly,she was a teacher, um, and I
(01:52):
think she was looking to getremarried, and it was the most
awkward silence in the longestfive minutes of my life.
And uh somehow, some way I stillmanaged to diffuse the
awkwardness.
Oh I don't know, just talkingabout education, teaching, I
don't know how I got throughthose five minutes.
Um, but that one was foreveretched in my mind.
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
Wow.
Well, what's her name?
Demi Moore and Aston Kutchermade it.
SPEAKER_02 (02:20):
So actually they got divorced.
SPEAKER_01 (02:23):
Yes, but they were married, so okay, great.
SPEAKER_02 (02:26):
You're using an example of a divorce.
SPEAKER_01 (02:28):
No, there were other situations, no, of like a huge
difference where the woman isalways.
SPEAKER_02 (02:33):
Oh, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeter Jones.
I think there's like an18-year-old Did they get
divorced as well?
SPEAKER_01 (02:38):
Yeah, 18 years, yeah.
18 years.
SPEAKER_02 (02:39):
I don't know if they got divorced.
SPEAKER_01 (02:40):
Okay.
Okay, wow.
SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
So how we're using celebrities as examples now for
Muslim matches.
SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
How how did the lady react like when she realized
your age?
SPEAKER_02 (02:51):
Um, she just kind of had a deer in the headlights
look, and um and we just knewthat we gotta get through these
five minutes because we werestuck.
It's not like I'm gonna get upand walk out.
Of course not.
SPEAKER_01 (03:03):
Yeah.
I can imagine that she wasfeeling way more awkward than
you.
SPEAKER_02 (03:09):
Yeah, yeah, I probably.
Yeah.
We'll see how much.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
Did she offer you a lollipop?
unknown (03:14):
No.
SPEAKER_02 (03:15):
No lollipop.
It was in the doctor's office.
SPEAKER_01 (03:19):
Okay, so how long, like how many events did you
attend in your how many?
SPEAKER_02 (03:26):
I can't remember how many.
I've I lost count.
SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (03:30):
But I had been to a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (03:31):
Okay.
Yeah.
And what is the feedback or theydon't how do you feel about
them?
SPEAKER_02 (03:37):
The the thing is, is that Muslim uh uh matrimonial
event organizers are doing thesame thing that apps are doing,
and they're modelingnon-Muslims, right?
Which is speed dating.
And uh apps are unfortunatelydoing the same thing, but we
dedicate an episode to the appso I won't talk too much about
that.
But if anybody is singlelistening and you've attended uh
(04:00):
a matrimonial event in theStates or in Canada, or even in
the UK, probably.
Um, chances are that you'veexperienced a speed dating event
where um you sit acrosssomebody, you have five minutes
to have a meaningfulconversation, and most likely if
you're a guy, you're you're theone that has to get up and
(04:20):
rotate and rotate and rotate,and you can't remember the last
person that you spoke to, and uhand just pray that you uh
develop some sort of connectionwith those five minutes and that
the person felt the same way,and that there's some sort of
follow-up after that.
That's pretty much what it is.
SPEAKER_01 (04:36):
So practically, how long like you can't spend I
don't know, 20 minutes with eachmatch, and like like practic
practicality also takes a placehere, right?
SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
Yeah, of course.
Um, so I mean we'll we'll getinto that in a little bit in
terms of how they should bedone.
Uh in my opinion, uh like betterways to do that.
Um Baba Ali is an expert on theuh on live events.
Um so if you haven't attended anHOD live event, you should
definitely check those out.
SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
Um to the UK, Australia, different states, all
over the place and Canada.
SPEAKER_02 (05:09):
And people have wonderful feedback about his
events.
Um, but generally speaking, um,no, you cannot practically spend
20 minutes with each person, andespecially if there's um 30, 40,
or even 50 girls attending, howare you gonna get through
everyone?
But there are things as anorganizer you can do to make
sure that people are getting ameaningful experience and that
(05:34):
um there are there's a higherpossibility of fruitful
outcomes.
SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
Okay, we'll get to that, I guess.
SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
We'll get to that.
And we did our own matrimonialevent, which we'll talk about in
a second.
Yeah, but um, let's talk aboutspecifically matrimonial events.
So, before, I mean our parents'generation, our parents did not
meet at a matrimonial event.
Imagine Imagine your mom and dadmeeting at a matrimonial event.
Even my parents, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
But the next generation, when they ask, Oh
daddy, how did you meet mommy?
They're like at a matrimonialevent.
SPEAKER_02 (06:02):
Yeah, exactly.
So they didn't exist exist 20years ago, or maybe 20 years
ago.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
Maybe I think 20 years ago they didn't exist.
SPEAKER_02 (06:09):
But probably, so let's go further back.
I would say in the 80s.
In the 80s, they probably didn'texist, at least with Muslims.
Um, so why do they exist now?
Because there's a need for it.
You know, um Muslims aredelaying marriage.
Um, the recent statistic whichwe found states that over 40
Muslims in North America aresingle past the age of 30.
SPEAKER_01 (06:31):
40 percent.
SPEAKER_02 (06:32):
Oh, sorry, did I say the age of 40?
SPEAKER_01 (06:34):
No, you said over 40 Muslims.
SPEAKER_02 (06:36):
Oh, sorry.
Over 40% of Muslims in NorthAmerica.
SPEAKER_01 (06:39):
Yeah, we counted them.
There were 40 Muslims out there.
SPEAKER_02 (06:42):
Are single past the age of for 30.
And that's scary.
SPEAKER_01 (06:46):
Yeah, take a moment.
Think about it.
40 per over 40% are that'scrazy.
SPEAKER_02 (06:53):
Um, you know, Dr.
Fahd was just talking about thisat the past in the past uh
episode which we released, yeah.
Uh, which was this is a commonproblem back home uh in
Pakistan, he was talking about,right?
Yeah, that uh the common age ofmen getting married was 30,
sometimes 35.
Um and I can't remember theexact reason why, but it was
(07:14):
mainly due to financialstability, financial reasons.
But there's no reason why wekind of have to import that same
problem here.
Like we import the culture, butwe don't have to import the
problems too associated with theculture.
Yes, yeah, it's more than anepidemic now.
Yeah, and oh yes, second part ofthat statistic is nearly 70% of
them find it difficult to meetcompatible Muslims for marriage.
(07:35):
So we have an epidemic, needlessto say.
Um, and uh we have to askourselves the serious question
are the solutions that we'reproviding as a community, as
event organizers, solving thisproblem or not?
And the numbers speak forthemselves, and the answer is
no.
Right?
And why is that the case?
Um, God, we can talk about thisfor hours.
(07:58):
Number one, like I said in thebeginning, if we are modeling
non-Muslims and trying to findsolutions uh with people that
prioritize dating and livingtogether pre-marriage, then
obviously we're not gonna solveour problems, right?
When it comes because ourproblems are unique to our
religion, right?
(08:19):
So I'm not here to bash events,you know.
Matrimonial events uh do havesome success, um, and there are
wonderful event organizers outthere.
I'm just speaking from personalexperience and as somebody that
has uh hosted a matrimonialevent in the past, too.
We both did that, in fact.
Um, so there are a lot of goodthings.
You know, some events theyespecially when they're done in
(08:41):
a smaller group, uh, there'smany event organizers that do a
very good job organizing them,matching people up based on
similarities, you know, matchingpeople up on common interests
and values.
SPEAKER_01 (08:54):
Um what else it's also good like for people who
are new in this kind of likeinteractions, people maybe who
are not used to talking to theopposite gender.
Yeah.
So it's like it's a goodintroduction to this world in
like a a structured or like asupervised way, you can say.
SPEAKER_02 (09:10):
I mean, and I totally get it.
You know, I grew up in a veryconservative environment, and so
talking to the opposite gendercan be a little awkward, you
know, especially if you knowyou're not used to it.
So, yeah, like you said, justit's uh in a halal supervised
environment.
In fact, a lot of eventorganizers will even invite a
scholar to come speak and tojust like give you some uh
(09:32):
nasiha.
Yeah, right?
So, yeah, in general, they'rethey're done by professional
event organizers, people withexperience, and and we come
across stories sometimes ofpeople who have found their
significant other at matrimonialevents, right?
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
Yeah, okay, so that was the good.
What's the ugly?
SPEAKER_02 (09:51):
The ugly is basically almost everything I've
seen, with the exception of BabaAli.
Baba Ali is just uh kind of in aleague of his own.
SPEAKER_01 (10:02):
He's a pioneer.
SPEAKER_02 (10:03):
Yes, he is.
Um, but the ugly.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthat.
Like I said in the beginning,speed dating does not work.
You cannot get to know somebodyfor the purpose of marriage
within five minutes.
And I know what your counterquestion is uh, how can you
practically?
And we'll get into that in abit.
Um, so speed dating number onedoes not work.
Uh a really funny story we justheard, maybe I think it was just
(10:24):
two weeks ago.
So we were at a convention, wewon't name the convention, and
uh, as we usually do, we just gotalk to people at their booths,
uh, speak to the vendors, talkabout marriage and halal match.
And one brother approached usand uh was asking us about our
service and how it works.
And uh we or I asked him, so howdid the matrimonial event go at
(10:46):
the convention here?
And he said literally that um itwas a complete disaster, and
that he was basically on stage,um, or that the men were going
up on stage one after another,essentially auditioning to the
girls for marriage, like sayinga few things, and the girls were
just standing there in thebackground, the guys just had to
(11:06):
go up, I think, with a mic orsomething and just talk about
themselves.
SPEAKER_01 (11:09):
Oh, I'm trying to imagine it.
And the girls, they're like, youknow, uh models going on the
stage, like modeling the clothesand stuff, and everyone's
watching.
And the girl might be like, Oh,daddy, daddy, can I have him?
Can I get them?
SPEAKER_02 (11:26):
It sounds like god, I wish I was just there to uh
observe.
SPEAKER_01 (11:30):
Yeah, that's um honestly, that's humiliating.
SPEAKER_02 (11:32):
It is it's so humiliating.
I don't I don't I think I'd walkout if I was asked to do that.
I think I'd definitely walk out.
SPEAKER_01 (11:38):
He he also mentioned that they kept uh changing the
format uh like every I don'tknow 15 minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (11:44):
Exactly, because they realized that they were
matching people up with uhsignificant age gaps.
SPEAKER_01 (11:49):
Yeah, so yeah, they kept changing it.
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
Uh another problem that I've come across many, many
times, which I referred to injust in the beginning, is the
lack of pre-screening.
And I'm sure I'm not the onlyone where guys are getting
matched up with girls that aremuch older than them, or vice
versa, girls are getting matchedup with guys that are like 20,
30 years older than them.
So there has to be, I mean, BabaElise talked about this too.
(12:14):
Uh and I can't say this for afact, but it does sometimes feel
like it's just a money game tofor event organizers.
SPEAKER_01 (12:21):
Because like you are pre- I don't I don't know if
it's right to say it, but likeyou're preying on the needs of
people who might feel desperate.
Right.
Right?
And they're grabbing to anychance, any straw.
SPEAKER_02 (12:32):
So they charge$75, $100 for these events, and
they're walking into a fishmarket.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
If they're worth it, then charge more.
And another element of lack ofscreening, and I remember I saw
multiple like um TV, uh not TV,TV shows or YouTube like um
documentaries or something inthe UK about uh the Muslim
matrimonial scene there and themany events they hold.
And uh I saw in my own eyes,like the girl goes to this
(12:58):
event, this room, and like thereare I don't know, 50 women and
like three or four guys.
And imagine, like, imagine howawkward the guys must feel.
And imagine how awkward thewomen must feel, and like the
competition between them andlike at that point, man, the
event organizers should at leastrefund their money.
SPEAKER_02 (13:18):
Absolutely.
They should.
It's that's just wrong.
Yeah, they're just stealingmoney from them.
So, kind of going back to thatpoint, an imbalance of genders.
Like, yes, sometimes Iunderstand people won't show up.
Ababa Lee has mentioned a fewtimes where like the girls would
get so scared they just startgetting nauseous and vomiting,
and like they wouldn't need theywouldn't even walk into the
room.
So I get that.
(13:38):
So, but to the best of yourability, having a balance of
girls and guys, there shouldn't,there's no reason for what you
just mentioned.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, performance pressure isalso an issue.
You're on this timer, likeliterally, there's a timer going
on in your head, like, oh mygod, I gotta put on the best
performance I can within fiveminutes, and otherwise I'm going
(13:58):
home single, right?
SPEAKER_01 (14:00):
So And they also what they do, I remember in one
of the events, one of the big uhconferences here in Canada, they
also have the biodatas of allthe attendees on the wall.
Yeah, like your walking.
I've been to that.
SPEAKER_02 (14:14):
I've been to that.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Wow.
Yes, like you're browsing andlike you're trying to assess
just based on what?
On height and income, and Idon't know, it doesn't sound
right.
SPEAKER_02 (14:24):
Yeah, and people were taking pictures of the
biodatas on the wall or likegrabbing the papers.
SPEAKER_01 (14:29):
Where's the element of privacy, right?
And some events, what do youthink about this?
Some events where like thesingle person comes with their
uh parent.
Oh, I don't like it at all.
And the parents are sitting onthe side.
SPEAKER_02 (14:41):
Oh no, no, I hate that.
I hate it.
SPEAKER_01 (14:44):
Why?
SPEAKER_02 (14:45):
The same reason we don't uh allow parents to go
through the process with us,with halal match, right?
Like we do allow parents on thediscovery call if the client
wishes for it, but after thatthe parents have to stay out of
the process.
Uh, not that we're excludingparents, you guys can go back
and watch the parents uh orlisten to the parents' episode.
We've actually did two episodesabout parents.
(15:07):
So we have our reason andjustification for that.
But going back to your question,why do I hate that?
Because it's just unnecessarypressure.
I mean, this is a supervisedenvironment, right?
There's no khalua happening.
Chances are there might be evenbe a scholar there, but it's an
organized event.
Um, girls and guys are comingwith the sincere intention of
marriage, so there is no reasonfor a parent to be there unless
(15:31):
you think because the the signalthat I'm getting as a guy is
that your daughter is incapableof assessing compatibility for
herself, so she needs mommy tohold her hand for her.
SPEAKER_01 (15:41):
So no, because the parents sit on the side, they
are not like on the same tables.
SPEAKER_02 (15:46):
So still, like why are they there then?
Um you don't trust yourdaughter, you don't trust your
daughters.
You don't trust the guys?
Like like your girl's not gonnaget assaulted, she's not gonna
get like nothing's gonna happen.
It's an uh it's a professionallyrun event, right?
So it's something that doesreally irritate me.
And I don't think I don't know,I'd be I'd really I'd be really
(16:07):
hard pressed to move ahead witha girl whose mom or dad are
there unless it's somethingreally that stands out about
her.
SPEAKER_00 (16:16):
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (16:18):
Yeah.
Going back to the cost, so onaverage these events cost I
would say$75 to$100.
And it it does sometimes feellike event organizers are
exploiting people's situation,like you just mentioned.
Loneliness, depression, just thegeneral need to get married.
(16:40):
And uh they sometimes know thatthere aren't many options out
there.
SPEAKER_01 (16:45):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
And so people are gonna pay for this.
SPEAKER_01 (16:48):
So the problem is like we discussed in a previous
episode, that we are notcreating safe enough
environments for people to meetand interact organically.
Like uh either it's uh I don'tknow, it's uh segregated dars at
a masjid, or it's a matrimonialevent that's poorly organized.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:07):
So there are no other options.
Yeah, and then you wonder whypeople are going to the apps
because we're failing as acommunity.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
And then people attend the events because they
were disappointed with the apps.
SPEAKER_02 (17:16):
So it's a perpetual cycle.
SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
Exactly, yeah.
And uh some, I'm not gonna sayall, some event organizers, they
just like you said, exploitthat.
SPEAKER_02 (17:25):
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
If you're overwhelmed andburdened and just don't know
where to seek help, let us helpyou.
We can be your personalmatchmakers.
Visit us at halalmatch.ca andbook a free call with us.
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
Okay, so we said that there are a minority of
events that are worth it.
How to identify those?
SPEAKER_02 (17:48):
Okay, so Baba Ali.
It's fair to talk about Baba Aliat this point, right?
SPEAKER_01 (17:52):
I guess so.
And uh by the way, guys, BabaAli is not paying us to do this,
and he probably doesn't knowthat we're talking about him.
Yeah, but uh because we trustwhat he does.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
Yeah, we trust and people, countless people have,
even though they've beenunsuccessful uh at some of his
events, they still praise hisevents.
Uh I mean people fly out fromfar away just to attend his uh
live events.
SPEAKER_01 (18:15):
We helped in one of his events, so we've been there
actually, and we saw how it'srun.
SPEAKER_02 (18:19):
Exactly.
So what does he do?
And something that we've done atour own matrimonial event is
screening.
Many times people just signingup for a matrimonial event does
not necessarily mean they areserious, right?
So when we did our matrimonialevent, we didn't just do a paper
screening, we did a videoscreening.
(18:40):
We schedule calls with them andwe asked them questions after
questions, and only after thatcall did we decide that you know
a person that this person shouldattend our event.
Yeah.
So we did charge more.
Um, we'll be honest, we charge$150 for our matrimonial event.
Canadian.
Canadian.
Um, but we did something verydifferent, which was not just a
(19:01):
video level pre-screening, butwe only invited people to our
event if we found somebody thatcould be a compatible match for
them.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
So we did uh we did double screening.
We had them fill out a form.
SPEAKER_02 (19:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
And we had a video call with them.
And if we were able to find agood match for them, then they
got an invitation.
SPEAKER_02 (19:21):
And the cool thing about our event was that it was
split into two portions.
The first pro portion was moreof a workshop activities, really
just to get people warmed up andcomfortable.
Um, so we shared a lot of thingsfrom the Quran and Sunnah, and
we played some games.
And then after that, we hadpeople sit one-on-one with the
(19:43):
person that we had in mind forthem.
So the match that we consideredfor them.
And they and we also had somefood too.
Oh, we had charcuterie boards.
It was a charcuterie board, sothey got to enjoy some snacks
with their match, and uh, wegave them some I mean, we still
stayed in the room, but someprivacy to an extent, uh, to get
to know their match.
And we I think we gave them somequestions or an act something to
(20:04):
do at the table, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:05):
Yeah, the activities.
SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
Okay, I mean the right.
So the activities we did as partof the workshop, and plus we had
some activities for them to dowith their match.
SPEAKER_01 (20:12):
Now it's fair to mention, guys, that it ended up
in zero percent success.
SPEAKER_02 (20:19):
Yeah, well, there was one match that happened at
the event, but uh for whateverreason the the individuals
didn't follow through and itdidn't end up in marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (20:29):
But regardless, it was a small event, it was only
14 people.
SPEAKER_02 (20:32):
Yeah, it was a small event.
Seven couples.
So, yes, we're gonna becompletely honest.
Like you said, it wasn't uhthere weren't many successful
matches that came out of thatevent.
But I'm still proud of the workwe did, and I still do believe
that um we did the best we couldin terms of providing value.
SPEAKER_01 (20:49):
So, in terms of providing value, screening and
all of that, I think that wasgreat.
But I think the the formula uhwe had in our head, which is to
match each person with oneperson and have them sit on one
t on like their own small tablefor like what was it, two an
hour and a half.
SPEAKER_02 (21:07):
We gave them more than two hours, actually.
Something like that.
SPEAKER_01 (21:10):
That didn't prove successful, yeah.
Yeah, but that's I guess that'ssomething we learned.
But screening is very important,yes.
So nobody ended up sitting withsomeone who was not serious
about marriage or who was wayolder or younger, or they didn't
share the same interests.
SPEAKER_02 (21:26):
Right.
Everybody that came there wasserious about marriage.
Now, the important thing to noteis that I'm not against talking
to multiple potential matches.
I'm not against getting up fromone table and then speaking to
somebody else and speaking tosomebody else.
What I'm against is the typicalspeed dating format of five to
seven minutes.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Seven minutes is even good.
I don't think they give sevenminutes.
They give like two minutes,three minutes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:49):
I think it's less than that.
Yeah, so even five minutes feelsa bit generous.
So we were talking about what tolook for in an event.
Number one, like you said, uhscreening.
Number two, is there a balancein genders?
When people are hosting anevent, you can always contact
the event organizer throughEventbrite or if it's Baba Ali,
you can send the team an emailand just ask them these very
basic questions.
Is there a balance in genders?
(22:10):
Is there screening?
Is there any room to learn aboutthe person's values?
Uh, what kind of activities arethere at the event, right?
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
Or are you just supposed to be what is the
structure of the event?
SPEAKER_02 (22:22):
What is the structure of the event?
Um, but more specifically, whatkind of activities are there?
Um, so I've been to a lot ofmatrimonial events, speed dating
events, where it's just likefind the person that likes
Biryani.
Oh my god.
Or like find the person who'snever seen a Hollywood movie,
and then it just becomes ahunting game, and then you find
the person, then you sit downwith them, and then you have
your list of questions.
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
This is how you assess compatibility.
SPEAKER_02 (22:45):
And it's like there's no fun element to it.
SPEAKER_01 (22:48):
There's no No, actually, it sounds like a lot
of fun, but no value.
SPEAKER_02 (22:51):
No value.
But um, there's the activitiesthemselves, they don't allow
somebody to step out of theircomfort zone, they don't help
people who are shy.
Let's uh give one of Baba Ali'sactivities as an example.
SPEAKER_00 (23:05):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (23:05):
Oh, I remember the straight line.
So Baba Ali had all the ladiesstand in a straight line at one
point, and then all the guysstand in a straight line at one
point.
And then he would ask questionslike, or would you marry
somebody who's divorced?
If yes, step back.
If no, stand where you are.
(23:26):
Right?
Yeah.
And so the guys could kind ofsee uh what girls would be okay
with that depending on theircircumstances.
SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
Would you marry an independent a strong independent
woman?
And then the guy some guys wouldstep and exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (23:39):
And then at the tables there were a lot of fun
group activities where you hadto work with each other to solve
problems.
SPEAKER_01 (23:46):
So you get to see their competitive side, if they
are the team player type, yeah,if they are the I don't know,
backstabbing type, because theactivities they were very
competitive.
They were very fun.
SPEAKER_02 (23:57):
Yeah, one of the games that we did at our
matrimonial event was somebodyhad to so there were two teams,
and each team had to pick acaptain or leader and go speak
at the front of the room and tryto convince.
So I think one of the tasks wasconvince me why Trump should be
president, or something likethat, right?
(24:17):
Like something random.
Yeah.
And uh then people would have tovote and say, okay, yes, I'm
convinced or I'm not convinced,right?
That was fun.
SPEAKER_01 (24:24):
So you get to see people just the way the way they
express themselves, the way theythink.
Are they confident?
Are they?
I just laughed uh a minute agobecause I remembered Baba Ali
said in one of his events, hewas like doing this uh there was
uh this activity, yeah, andthere was a Nihabi girl on the
table.
Yes, remember that?
(24:44):
And I don't know, for somereason they had like she flipped
and did like 118 ninja move.
SPEAKER_02 (24:51):
No, no, no, they were doing the uh it was one of
those on your feet activities.
SPEAKER_03 (24:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah.
And so it was it like so.
The point that he was making wasthat first impressions are on
everything, don't judge a bookby its cover.
SPEAKER_03 (25:01):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (25:01):
So she had she did a backflip.
Oh, the Nagawi girl doing abackflip.
I'm like, wow, yeah, I've neverseen that before.
SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
And then I think uh in another uh activity, they
were supposed to like go fromlike one table to another and
like to fight try to find cardsor something, I'm not sure.
Yeah, and there was a guy wholike uh showed zero ethics
because he like he was socompetitive.
Yeah, he was cheating, either hewas cheating or like he he did
(25:29):
something that showed zeroethics.
SPEAKER_02 (25:31):
Oh, and I remember another story he shared was uh
one of the girls was completelyowning the table.
Yes, and she was like, All youhave what did she say?
SPEAKER_00 (25:39):
Yeah, like uh you all have to listen to me.
SPEAKER_02 (25:42):
Yeah, she was a complete matriarch.
Yeah, and I'm in charge here,and you all have to listen to
me.
And she was just instructing allthe men at the table.
SPEAKER_01 (25:49):
So you see, you get to see different sides of the
person.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
And the most important thing is that it's all
halal.
Of course, yeah.
There is no hand holding,there's no haloa, there's no
inappropriate behavior.
The point is that it's in asupervised, controlled
environment, and that is done bya professional event organizer,
and it's all with the intentionof marriage.
SPEAKER_01 (26:09):
And these activities are all like very well
calculated, designed to re eachactivity is designed to reveal
something.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (26:17):
So So, yes, that's that's the other point worth
mentioning that is the way theevent is structured allowing
people to reveal things aboutthemselves, right?
Are the organizers trustworthyand genuinely marriage focused,
or are they just trying to grabyour money?
SPEAKER_01 (26:32):
Yeah.
Right?
And at the end of the event, Iremember um there was like uh
one hour or something formingling, just everyone mingling
like anyone interested.
Yeah, what yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
If you guys came up to you asking if you were
looking for yeah, there was aguy interested in me.
I'm like, I was kind offlattered at that point.
I'm like, my wife's pretty yougot it, you still got some
charm.
Um a lot of charm.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Um, and also are there follow-upsystems in place for
connections?
Exactly.
Yes.
So Baba Ali has a wonderful uhsystem.
(27:04):
So I think it's an app where umit's completely like uh anon not
anonymous, but um the thematches don't know the response
of the other person.
So you basically like uh checkthe box if you're interested in
a girl, and if the other girl isalso interested, then um you
guys get a like uh a ding, anotification or something,
(27:27):
right?
SPEAKER_01 (27:28):
So yeah, if only one person is interested, the other
person wouldn't know it.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (27:32):
Yeah, so you don't get that feeling of rejection.
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
Exactly.
That's very smart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, Mr.
Expert.
Since you seem to be a goodidea.
I'm not an expert.
I don't know.
We dedicated 40 minutescriticizing events.
SPEAKER_02 (27:44):
Well, we talked about the good and the bad, so
it wasn't all critical.
SPEAKER_01 (27:47):
Okay.
So if you had the uh capacityand the budget to plan or design
your perfect event, how would itlook like?
SPEAKER_02 (27:57):
Okay, so that's a good question.
I think I would build upon whatwe did before.
Do a better version of that.
Like I said, I'm not againstpeople rotating tables.
Um what I think we should haveis number one, a yes, screening,
a balance of genders, a small uhnumber of people.
(28:18):
So I don't think I would do morethan 30, max 40.
SPEAKER_01 (28:24):
40 people or 40 couples?
SPEAKER_02 (28:26):
40 people, okay.
Right?
Like even 40 feels a bit of astretch.
So 20, 20, 20 guys, 20 girls.
So I would try to keep the thevenue small.
Also something that Baba Alidoes does, which I love.
Uh keeping the locationconfidential.
SPEAKER_01 (28:40):
Of course.
Yes.
I think he's not the only onewho does this.
No, he's not the only one.
SPEAKER_02 (28:44):
No, uh he's the only one that I know of that does
that.
Yeah.
Even when we did our event atthe uh uh womanpreneur event,
um, we didn't exactly give thelocation of the room of where
it's happening.
So we try to keep it asconfidential as possible because
we don't want people justwalking in.
So keeping the locationconfidential.
So let's talk about thestructure of the event.
(29:06):
I would do a lot of on your feetactivities, on um group
activities.
So I would pull a lot ofactivities from our ebook, the
political candidate game.
I'd play that again, mayberefine it a bit.
I would do what's cooking, um,which is another activity we've
done with our clients where youknow you have to come up with a
(29:26):
crazy recipe to make a dish.
Uh I mean you're given a list ofcrazy ingredients and you have
to come up with a weird dish.
And so everybody has to worktogether.
Um, so a lot of group activitieswhere people are forced to
speak, forced to come out oftheir comfort zone, and uh
forced to collaborate.
Um, but the rotations are nothappening after one on one
(29:47):
interactions.
The rotations are happeningafter one group activity from
one group activity to another,which is what Baba Ali does.
Yeah.
Right?
So it's not one to one speeddating, it's for lack of a
better term, group dating.
To group speed dating.
Yeah.
Right.
And um, you're spending enoughtime on each table to really get
an idea of this other personthat's working with you on
(30:09):
whatever activity.
And then, of course, I Iwouldn't do dinner.
Dinner becomes a hugedistraction and a waste of time.
Maybe a charcuterie board uh foreach table, a large enough
charcuterie board for eachtable.
On your feet activities, so Iwould get the groups to get off
the table, get on your feet, dosomething like charades,
something like that, which BabaAli did.
And of course, have a goodfollow-up, a feedback form as
(30:33):
well as a follow-up, uh, wherepeople can say, you know, I was
interested in this person.
And each person would have aname badge.
And yeah, you would uh, youknow, either write it down on a
form before you leave, uh, emailus, whatever it might be.
Like I would think more about agood proper follow-up form.
And um, and of course, follow upwith clients maybe a month down
(30:54):
the road, see how things aregoing.
SPEAKER_01 (30:56):
So, how is how is this different from Baba Ali's
events?
SPEAKER_02 (31:00):
Uh, how is it different?
Because our games are a bitdifferent.
I wouldn't steal his games, wehave our own unique games.
Baba Ali didn't exactly have thebest snacks available, I would
say.
Yeah, we all left hungry.
And so I would do charcuterieboards with a sufficient number
of snacks for each people, foreach group on the table.
(31:23):
Um, so that those are two thingsthat I would do to keep it
different.
Um, what else would I do?
I think I would do more thanjust virtual screening.
I don't know if I do videoscreening again, that was too
much on us, but I would do amore lengthy digital form of
screening, maybe a one-to-pageassessment uh to see if they are
(31:44):
a good fit for the event.
Um I would keep the event, Iwould say two and a half, three
hours max.
Even that feels like a bit of astretch.
Oh, yes.
And the other important thing,which Baba Ali doesn't do, no,
I'm not criticizing Baba Ali.
I love Baba Ali and he does awonderful job.
But what I would do differentlyis I would have a premarital
(32:05):
workshop component attached toit.
SPEAKER_03 (32:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (32:08):
Um, which we do, by the way.
We've done it at Muzjids and uhwe've done it for MSAs.
And uh I would definitely addthat component, so a shorter
version, because our workshopgoes on for about three hours.
So I'll do maybe a half hour,maybe 45-minute workshop, giving
them some basic tools that theycan use into the matrimonial
(32:28):
event itself.
If possible, maybe extending theevent and uh bringing on a
scholar to speak.
Um, but that might be stretchingit a bit too much.
So I don't know.
All of these things, like wehaven't done a matrimonial event
since that day, because itreally took a lot of energy and
work out of us.
But we haven't completelyremoved it off the table.
We might do it again at somepoint.
Uh, but those are the things Iwould do different.
SPEAKER_01 (32:49):
Okay.
To be honest, sounds tooidealistic.
No, actually, no.
No.
Sounds just like somemodifications to Baba Ali's
events.
I was honestly looking forsomething completely unique that
is not being done.
Like right now, what's beingdone is either speed dating or
(33:09):
like activities or somethinglike that.
I was doing looking forsomething revolutionary.
Not revolutionary in terms ofhow technology so I don't have
the answer, but I'm looking.
Maybe some guys, if you'relistening, well, I know you're
listening because you can hearme right now exactly.
So if you have like an idea forsomething unique, I don't know.
(33:31):
Like when social media came out,for example, that was unique.
There was nothing like itbefore.
It didn't build on anythingbefore.
Maybe messenger, messenger wasnot social media.
SPEAKER_02 (33:40):
Well, I'm not building on Baba Ali, I'm
building on what we've done.
SPEAKER_01 (33:43):
Okay, so what we've done is similar, like it falls
under the same category ofwhat's out there.
Um activities, rotations, food,all of that.
Right.
I mean, looking for somethingcompletely unique.
SPEAKER_02 (33:58):
So it has to be in person, it has to be private,
there has to be screeninginvolved.
Okay, there has to be active.
So I'm just thinking about thecore element.
SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
That's that's uh factors, that's more like
factors, not elements.
Like that's parameters.
Parameters, okay.
SPEAKER_02 (34:12):
Yeah, um so what did I say?
Uh confidentiality, uhscreening, balance uh of
genders, small venue, um, uniqueactivities.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
I'm looking for a unique structure.
I don't have the answer.
SPEAKER_02 (34:27):
So I would say our first matrimonial event was
unique in its structure.
Yes, it was.
It was.
I guess it's because it was,like we said, one-on-one.
It was one-on-one, a premaritalworkshop attached to it.
But the fact that it wasn'tfruitful is is something to
learn from.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
Yeah, of course.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (34:47):
So we can't put all our eggs in one basket and
expect results.
SPEAKER_01 (34:51):
So yeah, um I'm still you know what?
SPEAKER_02 (34:53):
I'll just kind of leave that for the audience.
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
I think that's gonna be my next project.
Coming up with a unique idea fora matrimonial event.
SPEAKER_02 (35:00):
I would love to do another matrimonial event.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
Me too.
But only if it's different.
I don't want to copy what peopleare doing.
SPEAKER_02 (35:05):
We're not gonna copy people.
We don't copy people.
We our first one was unique, andI think we could build off of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:11):
Okay, guys, if you have any ideas for us or girls,
or girls, how to make how todesign a unique uh matrimonial
event, please shoot us an email.
Like I'm thirsty for some freshideas.
SPEAKER_02 (35:26):
For sure.
Okay, okay.
I guess we could leave you guyswith that, or just other
questions.
Um, if you guys have been tomatrimonial events, please share
your experiences.
We'd love to you know, was it anaudition-like experience?
Was it not?
Was it speed dating?
Uh, or did you, you know, meetyour significant other at a
matrimonial event?
Let us know.
(35:46):
Um, we'd love to learn from youguys.
The only way this podcast growsis, you know, if you guys
interact with us and give usyour feedback.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
And and also let us know what uh new topics would
you like us to discuss in futureepisodes.
SPEAKER_02 (35:59):
That too.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:00):
All right.
Until next time.
Salaam alaykum alaikum.
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