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Episode Transcript
A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep
change in the way that we think.
I'm Carla Reeves, and this isdifferently.
Hey friend, if your thoughts arejust spinning and feel like they
will never stop, this episode isfor you.
(00:22):
Sometimes we just loop on thesame thing again and again and
again.
Maybe it's a situation that wejust can't stop thinking about,
or it's a frustration, orsomething we need to forgive, or
something we feel resentfulabout or overwhelmed about, or
we're just thinking about allthe things we need to do and
that we're never going to catchup.
(00:42):
And if you let this continue andspin on and on, suddenly it just
feels like you're carrying theweight of the world and it it
just dampens your spirit, youlose motivation, all the things.
And it can happen so fast thatyou often aren't even aware of
it until you feel like you'reunder a pile of boulders.
(01:03):
So I had a client recently whocame into uh private coaching
with me just for three sessions,and she was feeling exactly that
way stuck, stressed, resentful,confused about what direction to
go, juggling a lot of things.
Maybe you can relate.
But what she discoveredsurprised her and honestly
(01:25):
surprised me too.
And in just three sessions, hercircumstances didn't really
change.
Her living situation, the stressshe felt on her job and in her
work, they were still there.
But what shifted was the waythat she saw it.
She learned to separate thefacts from the story that she
(01:45):
was telling herself.
The facts in our life areusually fairly simple and
neutral, but the story that wetell about the facts, that's
where we stir all kinds ofemotion, all kinds of past hurt,
all kinds of drama and fear.
And that's what was makingeverything feel so heavy.
(02:10):
The more she practiced noticingand separating the facts from
the story, the more she told methat her resentment started to
fade, that things that used totake up her mental and emotional
energy were no longer consumingher.
And she felt lighter, clearer,and freer.
And friend, this is what'spossible when we do this work of
(02:31):
managing our mind.
Here's the thing (02:33):
most of us are living inside of stories that we
don't even know we're telling.
Sometimes they're old storiesthat we picked up when we were a
child.
Sometimes fears we picked upwhen we were a child without
realizing it.
These stories are still coloringthe way we see today.
(02:53):
And I can't tell you how manytimes I'm working with a private
client and they are operating inthe environment they live in
today as if they were eight ornine or ten years old, living in
that environment that wasuncomfortable or painful that
they needed to survive backthen.
And we feel like we keep tryingto change things in order to
(03:15):
change that, but we're changingthe wrong things.
The things that have to changeare on the inside, the
perception, the storytelling,the way we think about things,
the rules that we createdbecause of what we've been
through.
But when we pause and separatethose things, and in this case,
when we separate the facts fromthe story, you create space,
(03:38):
space to breathe, space toactually see things for what
they are, space to choose andmake a different choice so that
you can have a new outcome, andspace to stop carrying all the
weight that you don't have tocarry anymore.
So I want to give you somethingthat you can actually try today.
(04:00):
I want you to think about what'sthat one thing for you that
feels heavy right now?
And when you have a moment, Iwant you to write it down.
Just write down what it is, allthe things that come to mind
when you think about it.
What is it?
How does it feel?
Just anything that comes to yourmind.
And then once you have that out,I want you to draw a circle
(04:22):
about the size of your fist.
And inside that circle, I wantyou to write, just label it, the
facts.
And that's where all those thefacts about what's happening go.
Just the the things thatdescribe what's happening, not
all the emotion, not all thedrama, not all the storytelling,
(04:42):
just the facts.
Like it might just be I had aconversation with my husband the
other night.
We were in disagreement and itended in a fight.
Those could be the facts.
The story is all the otherthings that are in your mind
circling and spinning andcreating drama and making you so
(05:03):
emotional and mad and frustratedand make you want to lash out
and do things that you laterregret.
That stuff, I want you to drawanother circle around the facts,
a bigger circle that gives youroom to write in.
Label that the story, and you'regonna write all the story around
that, all the things you'rethinking about your spouse, your
(05:25):
the things that you're sayingabout yourself or your marriage,
that it's so hard and it's justnot gonna work, and all the
things.
And then I want you to notice, Iwant you to notice does most of
the heaviness, does most of thedrama, does most of the emotion
live in the outside circle ofyour story?
This little practice ofseparating the facts from the
(05:49):
story allows you to stand backand actually look at what
happened today.
Because so often in life, thesetwo circles just get collapsed.
And it feels as if it's allhappened and it's if it as if
it's all true.
But the truth is we arestorytelling machines, and often
(06:10):
we are lumping our pain from ourpast, our hurts, our past
experiences all on what'shappening today, when actually
it may have little or norelevance.
This circle tool helps you tostand back and take your power
back so that you can startshifting your response and
(06:33):
approach ever so slightly tochange your results.
So, friend, if you've beenliving in this world, stuck in
the thoughts that feel soscattered or heavy or
never-ending, know that you havethis tool in your back pocket
and you don't have to staythere.
This tool alone is literally agame changer for my clients
(06:56):
because it helps you calm yourmind, organize what's actually
happening, and gives you spaceto make a new choice.
This is the heart of the work Ido with clients.
It's not about fixing everythingaround you, it's about
untangling your thoughts so youcan see clearly, so you can feel
(07:16):
lighter, and so that you canmove forward with freedom.
If this resonates with you, joinmy free monthly class where
we're gonna use writing as atool to quiet the noise and
create space for clarity, andyou'll get an experience of
doing that.
And if you're ready for deepersupport, let's talk about
(07:37):
coaching.
I'd love to help you untanglewhat's weighing you down on the
regular so that you can be freeand literally stop surviving
your life and start creating it.
Okay, friend, feelings are notalways facts.
This is something that I have toremind myself on the regular,
(07:57):
and you don't have to keepliving in that old story.
And this circle tool can changeit all for you.
Remember, it's all invented.
We have say, tell betterstories, it will change your
life.
Thanks for tuning in today.
Go leave a five-star review ifyou haven't already.
(08:19):
I would appreciate that so much.
You can do that on ApplePodcasts and leave a comment as
well.
Those make my day.
Thank you for being here.
I'll see you next week.
Thank you for tuning in to thisepisode of Differently.
Hey, if you're ready to stopcircling the same thoughts and
start creating real momentum,check out my coaching
(08:43):
experiences.
There's a 12-week experience fora big shift, or there's a
monthly writing and coachingpartnership for ongoing clarity,
creativity, alignment, andmomentum.
You can find all the details atcarlareeves.com.
And if you enjoyed this episode,please help me grow the podcast
(09:04):
and leave a five-star review onApple Podcasts and share with
someone you love.
Until next time, stop survivingyour life.
Start creating it.
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