July 3, 2025 • 24 mins
Have you ever stood at the edge of a choice, feeling both exhilarated and terrified? That's exactly where I found myself when a bucket list dream suddenly became a real possibility. Skydiving had always been something I wanted to experience "someday," but when my skydiving brother-in-law extended an actual invitation, I froze.
What followed was a battle between desire and fear, between adventure and what I convinced myself was responsible motherhood. Until a friend said one thing that changed everything.
This episode explores the power of everyday courage and the opportunities to leap that show up every day and how taking small leaps can lead to important change and momentum.
Whether you're feeling stuck in your career, relationships, or personal growth, this episode will expand your thinking and inspire new strategies for interrupting the status quo.
Enjoy!
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Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
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Get your copy of 5 Ways to Manage Your Mind
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently.
Whether you feel stuck insurvival, navigating a change or
seeking more for your life, maythis podcast be your weekly
nudge to take a risk to build alife that is uniquely bold,
authentic and in alignment withyour deepest values.
What if you worried less aboutthe bumps in the road and
(00:23):
instead got equipped for thejourney?
Get ready to rethink what'spossible.
It had been on my bucket listfor years, but when the
opportunity was right in frontof me, I froze.
Anytime I heard the wordskydive, it sent a burst of
energy through my body.
(00:44):
My thoughts soared at thethought of having had that
experience.
I knew someday I wanted to besomeone who had the courage to
take such an extraordinary leapof faith, but I never imagined
the day would actually come.
My brother-in-law is a skydiver.
In fact, he actually ran a dropzone in Cushing, oklahoma, and
(01:08):
years ago I'd always told myhusband if I was ever going to
skydive, I would do it with Jack.
About 10 years ago, the phonerang.
My husband was calling me fromwork to say that Jack the
skydiver had invited us to spendsummer vacation at the lake
with his family and that at thelatter part of the trip.
We'd head to the drop zone andif I wanted to skydive I could
(01:31):
do this.
Yeah, let's, that sounds great,babe, that sounds great.
We hung up the phone and Ithought, oh crap, my head was
spinning here.
I had been saying for years Iwanted to skydive and now the
opportunity was actually here.
Truth be told, part of meinside was leaping yes, and the
(01:53):
other part of me wanted torewind and delete everything I
had said.
My mind raced from yes toabsolutely no, and every nook
and cranny in between toabsolutely no, and every nook
and cranny in between.
As you probably know, at thistime I had two young boys and I
was married and, yes, it was onmy bucket list, but now I was
(02:16):
the mom of two precious youngboys.
A lot had changed.
A few days passed and I landedon a firm and confident note.
I told myself it would be themost careless and irresponsible
thing I could ever do as amother.
In my head I thought, oh oh no.
(02:37):
What if the parachute didn'topen?
What if I died?
What if my boys saw the wholething?
What would people think?
That would be the mostirresponsible thing I could do
as a mother.
This was my story and I wassticking to it, fully and
completely justified right.
My husband listened to all myspinning thoughts over the days
(02:57):
after and several days later thephone rang and it was Kim, a
friend, coach and businesspartner at the time Sidebar.
My husband had reached out toher because he knew she could
get through to me and she saidhey, carla, I hear you guys are
headed to Oklahoma and going togo to the lake with your family
(03:20):
and that you have an opportunityto go skydiving, but you're not
doing it.
And that you have anopportunity to go skydiving, but
you're not doing it.
And I launched into all myultra responsible thinking and
told her that would be the mostirresponsible thing I could ever
do as a mother.
And she said 13 words that Iwill never forget.
(03:41):
Never forget what if yourgreatest responsibility as a
mother is to show your childrenhow to live fully?
Her words literally stunned me.
All the thinking I had beendoing fell to the ground.
She gave me a gift in thatmoment.
(04:03):
She returned me to myself andwho I had declared myself to be
in the world.
After all, at that time, I wasa coach.
I was helping leaders breakthrough their own self-imposed
barriers to live more fully.
And here I was completelylocked down in my own.
Completely locked down in myown.
(04:27):
I left the call with a lot tothink about.
Kim's words knocked down allthe fear in me long enough to
pause and reconsider skydiving,or maybe even consider it for
the first time In the comingdays and weeks leading up to our
trip.
I'd remember my bigger purposeand I promised myself that I
(04:48):
wasn't going to make a decision,so I wasn't a no or a yes, but
that I would just trust myinstincts, pray about it and
know that I the the right choicewould reveal itself.
I'm not going to lie.
I wrestled with bucket loads offear and the idea of being
irresponsible over and overagain.
(05:11):
Fast forward four days into ourvacation.
We're on the boat, we'refishing, relaxing, connecting,
laying in the sunshine, and inthe back of my mind the
questions were relentless.
Was I going to jump out of theplane?
Was it the right thing to do?
What would others think?
Would I live?
(05:32):
What if I died?
And on and on and on.
The moment of truth had almostarrived.
It was the last day on the lakeand I had a very restless night
of sleep, tossing and turningin my bed and in my mind.
The next morning we hopped inthe car and drove four hours to
the drop zone, my mind racing,my stomach churning.
(05:53):
In the midst of the uncertaintyin the car.
I don't remember exactly whatpoint it was, but all of a
sudden a very different kind ofvision began to surface and I
began to imagine the parachutelifting and my feet hitting the
(06:14):
ground, seeing my boys andhusband below waving to me as I
was soaring down, and the smiles, the exhilaration, the
storytelling and the knowledgethat I'd taken an ultimate leap
of faith.
Once I imagined it working out,everything began to shift.
We spotted the drop zone fromthe road a white structure with
(06:35):
the word skydive in big redletters.
We circled around and parkedthe car and made our way out to
the front.
The place was buzzing.
People were sitting around oncouches watching and waiting for
their loved ones to take theirbig leap.
My eyes landed on theelectronic listing of skydivers
(06:56):
for the day.
I'd already been put on theschedule One hour from then.
I was scheduled to take my bigjump.
My niece actually ran the dropzone at the time and she took
the liberty of putting me on theboard, even though I hadn't
fully committed.
I still thank her for that.
Today the mental struggle wasover.
(07:18):
Excitement began to stir.
My niece helped me gear upgoggles and straps and all, and
I met my tandem jumper, whohappened to be a very normal
looking dad.
It was really comfortingthinking that if a dad can be
out there every weekend jumping,surely I could do this once.
(07:39):
We hopped on the golf cart andheaded for Jack's plane.
Being Jack's sister-in-law, Igot quotes, special treatment
not exactly the specialtreatment I was looking for, but
I got to sit co-pi in the planewhile all the other skydivers
piled in the back, and I soonfound out that I would be going
up a few thousand feet higherthan the others to take my jump.
(08:03):
So we began to make our ascentup.
They got to the spot where allthe other skydivers jumped out
of the plane and we were headingup further.
So it became my time to scootout of the copay seat on my butt
(08:23):
and inch my way towards thefour foot door that was wide
open.
My tandem was behind me and hebuckled me in securely.
He proceeded to put his handson my shoulders in motion to me
that we would first lean out ofthe plane, then back in, and on
the third time we'd literallyjust fall out of the plane.
(08:45):
It was in this moment that I atlast surrendered completely,
said a prayer and trustedfalling, falling, falling,
fierce, fierce wind whipping theskin on my cheeks.
I had no thoughts other thanmaking sure my hands and my feet
were in the right position.
No thought of when theparachute was going to open.
(09:07):
I was just in it and thensuddenly a jolt and the
parachute opened.
It then felt like a rollercoaster, floating and diving
down to the ground, and then Isaw my husband and boys below
watching and waving, just like Ihad imagined in my mind.
Relief, exhilaration andaliveness set in and my feet hit
(09:30):
the ground.
It turned out just as I hadimagined.
In that one unique,extraordinary stream of thought,
I will never forget thecomplete, uninhibited
exhilaration and joy that filledmy entire being.
The physical sensation lastedfor hours, and that experience
(09:55):
will stay with me forever and isa constant reminder that living
fully requires gettinguncomfortable.
Living fully requires gettinguncomfortable.
What we desire is often, on theother side of very convincing
and fear-inducing thoughts, thatclear, intentional choices come
from using all of our sensesand faculties, and that the
(10:26):
opportunities to skydive existright in the moments of our
everyday life and that whenwe're willing to leap, pure
aliveness and joy and the thingsthat we desire are waiting for
us right on the other side.
My purpose is to ignite change,and today I work with ambitious
leaders who are ready to maketrue change in their lives so
(10:46):
that they can level up theirenergy and their impact and
their everyday fulfillment.
And what I know is that thebarriers that showed up for me
in this skydiving experienceleading up to it are the very
same barriers that show up ineveryday life.
I want to share with you threeof the barriers and talk about
(11:08):
some of the ways that we canleap in our everyday life.
So the first barrier is thesomeday illusion, and I talk
about this more in depth inepisode three, so you can circle
back in the podcast, but youcould see it in my story.
Someday I wanted to goskydiving and it breaks my heart
(11:30):
to see people putting theirlives off, because you know what
?
That someday may never arrive,and it's easy to fall into the
idea that when we retire, whenthe kids are grown, when we lose
that 20 pounds, then we'llreally start living.
But the truth is that your lifewill begin to change when you
(11:54):
take an active part in doingdifferent to change it, and so
it's normal and easy to fallinto this, but it's something
that I check myself regularly on, and I want to encourage you to
do the same.
What is it that you're puttingoff for someday?
And you might just jot thatdown?
(12:16):
So the second thing that showedup and you saw it in my story
was fear, and fear has so manyfaces.
We know that we need fear forobvious reasons and basic
survival, like hands on a hotstove or walking into traffic.
We're very grateful for thisbuilt in system to avoid actual
danger.
Haha, I know, jumping out of aplane was dangerous, but that
(12:40):
survival fear is not the fearthat we're talking about in our
everyday lives, and those facesof fear can be come in the form
of fear of failure, fear ofdeath, fear of heartbreak, fear
of not looking good and fear ofembarrassment, and so fear to
survive.
Danger is real and necessary,but I want you to consider that
(13:01):
the other fear is an alarmsystem in our body saying
potential danger.
It's a monster in disguise andnot as strong as it looks, and
while we all want to get rid offear, therein lies one of our
biggest problems is that I don'tthink we ever get rid of it.
It's always going to be there,and so, instead of running from
(13:23):
it, what if you sat down and gotto know it and the many ways
that it shows up in your life toderail you?
But no more running away fromit, but instead learning to walk
with it in your life, withoutletting it run the show and
control you.
And as you do this, it willloosen its grip and when you
(13:44):
accept it, know that it's goingto be there.
It will not control you like itonce did.
And so the truth is it's analert system that requires all
of your senses and faculties toreally discern and make an
aligned choice for your life.
The third one is limitedthinking.
(14:04):
You know, in all truth, in mystory the leap, the fall out of
the plane was the easy part.
I know that sounds crazy, butthe grueling part was leading up
to that.
The choice wasn't reallywhether I was going to go
skydiving or not.
It was whether I was going tolet the fear and the noise in my
(14:27):
mind call the shots.
You could hear it in my story,I locked myself in with tons of
mental gymnastics justifying whyI couldn't do it, you know,
with thoughts of you know thiswould be the most irresponsible
thing that I could ever do, andit took really standing back to
(14:52):
examine that and examine thewhole thing that I could
actually step outside of thatthinking box to actually make a
choice.
So knowing all of this doesn'tmean it goes away, right.
But if you know these thingsare going to show up, you can
expect them, and when they doshow up and you're facing
(15:15):
something meaningful, big andimportant, you won't be
surprised and you can prepareaccordingly so that these
barriers no longer choose foryou.
You get to choose, and so lifebeyond these requires doing
differently, doing differently,and you don't have to be
(15:36):
extroverted, fearless or superoutgoing.
I want to invite you into theidea of everyday leaping.
This has nothing to do withskydiving and it's everyday.
(16:01):
Leaping is for people who arecommitted to something bigger
for their life and willing toshow up in the face of your
feelings for the sake ofsomething much bigger.
And I have to believe that, ifyou've been listening to this
podcast for a while, this is you.
So the first step how do we dothat?
Interrupt the thinking.
Like I said, expect that thefear is going to show up.
Pause to examine your thinkingand remember it's not you
Broaden your perspective.
(16:22):
Look from different angles.
Have people in your life, likethe Kim in my life and my
husband in my life, who werereally standing for my bigger
commitments.
Have people in your life thatdo that for you, my bigger
commitments.
Have people in your life thatdo that for you.
And the opportunity here andyou saw it in my stories when
you get your thinking moving inthe direction of your dreams,
(16:49):
watch out.
A lot shifted as that happened.
The second one is leverage yourimagination and so, instead of
considering only considering allthe things that could go wrong,
start to ask yourself whatcould go right.
And that was that moment in mystory, driving in the car, where
suddenly, that my imaginationstarted to look at what if it
(17:11):
went right, what if it went well?
And so that's a powerful shiftin perspective and that's one
you can create for yourself.
Number three chooseintentionally.
Quiet your mind, consider allthe options, pause to discern,
call on all your senses andfaculties to make a choice that
(17:33):
is right for you, versus lettingyour fear, just immediately
shut it down.
Number four let your commitmentlead the way, knowing that,
knowing your larger commitmentsin life, you know, in that
moment when Kim handed me backto myself and basically said,
what if your greatestresponsibility is to live your
(17:56):
life fully for your children, inthat moment I knew this is who
I declare myself to be and I hada moment of choice Was I going
to show up as the mom and personand coach that I commit myself
to being?
Am I going to align my actionsto that, or am I going to let
fear run the show?
(18:17):
When fear shows up, it's yourreminder to pause, broaden your
perspective, call on all yourfaculties.
It doesn't mean you will do itor say yes, but it's your
opportunity to really discernversus assume that fear is right
(18:37):
.
I have a deep desire foradventure, and while skydives
and hikes into the Grand Canyonare amazing, I'm even more
interested in the deep, rich,creative adventures that await
all of us Every morning we wakeup and throughout the day, and
so I want you to start thinkingabout everyday skydives and what
(19:01):
that might mean for you,because, while lots of us want
big changes in our life, what Iknow to be true is that big
changes can feel overwhelmingand unrealistic and often just
get pushed out to someday.
But when you start to focus onthe tiny moments of your life
(19:21):
and shifting the way you show upto them, those little shifts
and changes ripple to the largerchanges that you want.
And that can begin with 20seconds of courage and a leap
can begin with 20 seconds ofcourage and a leap.
(19:42):
So let's talk about just a fewexamples of where a leap could
come into play.
So consider these challengeslike being tired of not having
any work-life balance, orfeeling stuck at work and
dreaming that things will bebetter somewhere else, or
feeling frustrated by lopsidedrelationships where you're
always the one giving.
So some potential leaps inthese areas of life could be
(20:10):
with regard to no work-lifebalance.
Maybe you make a differentchoice today.
So, instead of feelingfrustrated by no work-life
balance, what could you do todaythat would give you a feeling
of balance in your life?
And what if you started doingone thing every day that gives
(20:30):
you the experience of morebalance?
It will happen in the moments,in those little moments where
you create a little bit ofbalance are going to grow and
become larger, to creatingbalance in your life.
So it's really does begin withone simple step and taking
responsibility for creating thatsense of balance right where
(20:52):
you are.
So the second one was aboutfeeling stuck in a job and
thinking things would be bettersomewhere else.
So what if?
What if, today, you actuallytook action on that?
What if you gave yourselfpermission to actually explore
other jobs?
This often will happen withclients where I'll be like give
it, just give yourselfpermission to go, look, go
(21:13):
explore, see what's out there.
Give yourself freedom toactually make that change.
And what I know is thatsometimes, when you do that, you
actually, when you have thefreedom to leave, you actually
find that you want to stay oryou discover something that
helps you take that next step toactually leave.
(21:37):
And the third one frustrated bylopsided relationships, because
you're always the one giving.
What if you began with onerelationship in your life and
started making some new moves inthat relationship?
What if you started to teachthat person in your life how to
be in relationship with you?
(21:57):
Now, and you can do that with aton of loving kindness, you
know, we have to realize thatwe've taught people how to be in
relationship with us up untilthis point, whether we realized
it or not, but it's never toolate to say, hey, I know I've
always done that, but I can't dothat anymore.
And here's what I can do, andso you can start to make some
(22:18):
new moves in that relationshipand again, little small,
courageous leaps.
So remember the day on the phonewhen Kim said to me what if
your greatest responsibility asa mom is to live your life fully
?
I want you to just take thatinto your own life.
(22:39):
What does that mean to you?
How does that translate?
What do you hear in that foryourself?
And who do you want to be inyour everyday life when it comes
to work relationships,parenting, marriage?
What if you let your largercommitments lead the way more of
the time?
And what leaps can you make inthe coming moments and days that
(23:06):
will reflect these choices?
So here's to everyday skydiving.
And remember it's for you,people who are committed to
something bigger in their lifeand willing to show up in the
face of their feelings forsomething much larger.
So take a moment to make a listof all the ideas that stirred
(23:30):
as you were listening to thispodcast and get leaping into
your everyday life.
Thank you for tuning in to thisepisode of Differently.
It's been an honor to sharethis conversation with you.
You know, one of the keys toliving fully is to take action
when you're inspired to do so.
I hope you found that spark ofinspiration today and would you
(23:54):
help us spread the word.
Did someone you know come tomind while you were listening?
If this episode could impactsomeone you know, please share
it and pass it along.
New episodes drop weekly, sotap that subscribe button and
join us next time as we continueto challenge the status quo and
get equipped to live lifedifferently.
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently.
Whether you feel stuck insurvival, navigating a change or
seeking more for your life, maythis podcast be your weekly
nudge to take a risk to build alife that is uniquely bold,
authentic and in alignment withyour deepest values.
What if you worried less aboutthe bumps in the road and
(00:23):
instead got equipped for thejourney?
Get ready to rethink what'spossible.
It had been on my bucket listfor years, but when the
opportunity was right in frontof me, I froze.
Anytime I heard the wordskydive, it sent a burst of
energy through my body.
(00:44):
My thoughts soared at thethought of having had that
experience.
I knew someday I wanted to besomeone who had the courage to
take such an extraordinary leapof faith, but I never imagined
the day would actually come.
My brother-in-law is a skydiver.
In fact, he actually ran a dropzone in Cushing, oklahoma, and
(01:08):
years ago I'd always told myhusband if I was ever going to
skydive, I would do it with Jack.
About 10 years ago, the phonerang.
My husband was calling me fromwork to say that Jack the
skydiver had invited us to spendsummer vacation at the lake
with his family and that at thelatter part of the trip.
We'd head to the drop zone andif I wanted to skydive I could
(01:31):
do this.
Yeah, let's, that sounds great,babe, that sounds great.
We hung up the phone and Ithought, oh crap, my head was
spinning here.
I had been saying for years Iwanted to skydive and now the
opportunity was actually here.
Truth be told, part of meinside was leaping yes, and the
(01:53):
other part of me wanted torewind and delete everything I
had said.
My mind raced from yes toabsolutely no, and every nook
and cranny in between toabsolutely no, and every nook
and cranny in between.
As you probably know, at thistime I had two young boys and I
was married and, yes, it was onmy bucket list, but now I was
(02:16):
the mom of two precious youngboys.
A lot had changed.
A few days passed and I landedon a firm and confident note.
I told myself it would be themost careless and irresponsible
thing I could ever do as amother.
In my head I thought, oh oh no.
(02:37):
What if the parachute didn'topen?
What if I died?
What if my boys saw the wholething?
What would people think?
That would be the mostirresponsible thing I could do
as a mother.
This was my story and I wassticking to it, fully and
completely justified right.
My husband listened to all myspinning thoughts over the days
(02:57):
after and several days later thephone rang and it was Kim, a
friend, coach and businesspartner at the time Sidebar.
My husband had reached out toher because he knew she could
get through to me and she saidhey, carla, I hear you guys are
headed to Oklahoma and going togo to the lake with your family
(03:20):
and that you have an opportunityto go skydiving, but you're not
doing it.
And that you have anopportunity to go skydiving, but
you're not doing it.
And I launched into all myultra responsible thinking and
told her that would be the mostirresponsible thing I could ever
do as a mother.
And she said 13 words that Iwill never forget.
(03:41):
Never forget what if yourgreatest responsibility as a
mother is to show your childrenhow to live fully?
Her words literally stunned me.
All the thinking I had beendoing fell to the ground.
She gave me a gift in thatmoment.
(04:03):
She returned me to myself andwho I had declared myself to be
in the world.
After all, at that time, I wasa coach.
I was helping leaders breakthrough their own self-imposed
barriers to live more fully.
And here I was completelylocked down in my own.
Completely locked down in myown.
(04:27):
I left the call with a lot tothink about.
Kim's words knocked down allthe fear in me long enough to
pause and reconsider skydiving,or maybe even consider it for
the first time In the comingdays and weeks leading up to our
trip.
I'd remember my bigger purposeand I promised myself that I
(04:48):
wasn't going to make a decision,so I wasn't a no or a yes, but
that I would just trust myinstincts, pray about it and
know that I the the right choicewould reveal itself.
I'm not going to lie.
I wrestled with bucket loads offear and the idea of being
irresponsible over and overagain.
(05:11):
Fast forward four days into ourvacation.
We're on the boat, we'refishing, relaxing, connecting,
laying in the sunshine, and inthe back of my mind the
questions were relentless.
Was I going to jump out of theplane?
Was it the right thing to do?
What would others think?
Would I live?
(05:32):
What if I died?
And on and on and on.
The moment of truth had almostarrived.
It was the last day on the lakeand I had a very restless night
of sleep, tossing and turningin my bed and in my mind.
The next morning we hopped inthe car and drove four hours to
the drop zone, my mind racing,my stomach churning.
(05:53):
In the midst of the uncertaintyin the car.
I don't remember exactly whatpoint it was, but all of a
sudden a very different kind ofvision began to surface and I
began to imagine the parachutelifting and my feet hitting the
(06:14):
ground, seeing my boys andhusband below waving to me as I
was soaring down, and the smiles, the exhilaration, the
storytelling and the knowledgethat I'd taken an ultimate leap
of faith.
Once I imagined it working out,everything began to shift.
We spotted the drop zone fromthe road a white structure with
(06:35):
the word skydive in big redletters.
We circled around and parkedthe car and made our way out to
the front.
The place was buzzing.
People were sitting around oncouches watching and waiting for
their loved ones to take theirbig leap.
My eyes landed on theelectronic listing of skydivers
(06:56):
for the day.
I'd already been put on theschedule One hour from then.
I was scheduled to take my bigjump.
My niece actually ran the dropzone at the time and she took
the liberty of putting me on theboard, even though I hadn't
fully committed.
I still thank her for that.
Today the mental struggle wasover.
(07:18):
Excitement began to stir.
My niece helped me gear upgoggles and straps and all, and
I met my tandem jumper, whohappened to be a very normal
looking dad.
It was really comfortingthinking that if a dad can be
out there every weekend jumping,surely I could do this once.
(07:39):
We hopped on the golf cart andheaded for Jack's plane.
Being Jack's sister-in-law, Igot quotes, special treatment
not exactly the specialtreatment I was looking for, but
I got to sit co-pi in the planewhile all the other skydivers
piled in the back, and I soonfound out that I would be going
up a few thousand feet higherthan the others to take my jump.
(08:03):
So we began to make our ascentup.
They got to the spot where allthe other skydivers jumped out
of the plane and we were headingup further.
So it became my time to scootout of the copay seat on my butt
(08:23):
and inch my way towards thefour foot door that was wide
open.
My tandem was behind me and hebuckled me in securely.
He proceeded to put his handson my shoulders in motion to me
that we would first lean out ofthe plane, then back in, and on
the third time we'd literallyjust fall out of the plane.
(08:45):
It was in this moment that I atlast surrendered completely,
said a prayer and trustedfalling, falling, falling,
fierce, fierce wind whipping theskin on my cheeks.
I had no thoughts other thanmaking sure my hands and my feet
were in the right position.
No thought of when theparachute was going to open.
(09:07):
I was just in it and thensuddenly a jolt and the
parachute opened.
It then felt like a rollercoaster, floating and diving
down to the ground, and then Isaw my husband and boys below
watching and waving, just like Ihad imagined in my mind.
Relief, exhilaration andaliveness set in and my feet hit
(09:30):
the ground.
It turned out just as I hadimagined.
In that one unique,extraordinary stream of thought,
I will never forget thecomplete, uninhibited
exhilaration and joy that filledmy entire being.
The physical sensation lastedfor hours, and that experience
(09:55):
will stay with me forever and isa constant reminder that living
fully requires gettinguncomfortable.
Living fully requires gettinguncomfortable.
What we desire is often, on theother side of very convincing
and fear-inducing thoughts, thatclear, intentional choices come
from using all of our sensesand faculties, and that the
(10:26):
opportunities to skydive existright in the moments of our
everyday life and that whenwe're willing to leap, pure
aliveness and joy and the thingsthat we desire are waiting for
us right on the other side.
My purpose is to ignite change,and today I work with ambitious
leaders who are ready to maketrue change in their lives so
(10:46):
that they can level up theirenergy and their impact and
their everyday fulfillment.
And what I know is that thebarriers that showed up for me
in this skydiving experienceleading up to it are the very
same barriers that show up ineveryday life.
I want to share with you threeof the barriers and talk about
(11:08):
some of the ways that we canleap in our everyday life.
So the first barrier is thesomeday illusion, and I talk
about this more in depth inepisode three, so you can circle
back in the podcast, but youcould see it in my story.
Someday I wanted to goskydiving and it breaks my heart
(11:30):
to see people putting theirlives off, because you know what
?
That someday may never arrive,and it's easy to fall into the
idea that when we retire, whenthe kids are grown, when we lose
that 20 pounds, then we'llreally start living.
But the truth is that your lifewill begin to change when you
(11:54):
take an active part in doingdifferent to change it, and so
it's normal and easy to fallinto this, but it's something
that I check myself regularly on, and I want to encourage you to
do the same.
What is it that you're puttingoff for someday?
And you might just jot thatdown?
(12:16):
So the second thing that showedup and you saw it in my story
was fear, and fear has so manyfaces.
We know that we need fear forobvious reasons and basic
survival, like hands on a hotstove or walking into traffic.
We're very grateful for thisbuilt in system to avoid actual
danger.
Haha, I know, jumping out of aplane was dangerous, but that
(12:40):
survival fear is not the fearthat we're talking about in our
everyday lives, and those facesof fear can be come in the form
of fear of failure, fear ofdeath, fear of heartbreak, fear
of not looking good and fear ofembarrassment, and so fear to
survive.
Danger is real and necessary,but I want you to consider that
(13:01):
the other fear is an alarmsystem in our body saying
potential danger.
It's a monster in disguise andnot as strong as it looks, and
while we all want to get rid offear, therein lies one of our
biggest problems is that I don'tthink we ever get rid of it.
It's always going to be there,and so, instead of running from
(13:23):
it, what if you sat down and gotto know it and the many ways
that it shows up in your life toderail you?
But no more running away fromit, but instead learning to walk
with it in your life, withoutletting it run the show and
control you.
And as you do this, it willloosen its grip and when you
(13:44):
accept it, know that it's goingto be there.
It will not control you like itonce did.
And so the truth is it's analert system that requires all
of your senses and faculties toreally discern and make an
aligned choice for your life.
The third one is limitedthinking.
(14:04):
You know, in all truth, in mystory the leap, the fall out of
the plane was the easy part.
I know that sounds crazy, butthe grueling part was leading up
to that.
The choice wasn't reallywhether I was going to go
skydiving or not.
It was whether I was going tolet the fear and the noise in my
(14:27):
mind call the shots.
You could hear it in my story,I locked myself in with tons of
mental gymnastics justifying whyI couldn't do it, you know,
with thoughts of you know thiswould be the most irresponsible
thing that I could ever do, andit took really standing back to
(14:52):
examine that and examine thewhole thing that I could
actually step outside of thatthinking box to actually make a
choice.
So knowing all of this doesn'tmean it goes away, right.
But if you know these thingsare going to show up, you can
expect them, and when they doshow up and you're facing
(15:15):
something meaningful, big andimportant, you won't be
surprised and you can prepareaccordingly so that these
barriers no longer choose foryou.
You get to choose, and so lifebeyond these requires doing
differently, doing differently,and you don't have to be
(15:36):
extroverted, fearless or superoutgoing.
I want to invite you into theidea of everyday leaping.
This has nothing to do withskydiving and it's everyday.
(16:01):
Leaping is for people who arecommitted to something bigger
for their life and willing toshow up in the face of your
feelings for the sake ofsomething much bigger.
And I have to believe that, ifyou've been listening to this
podcast for a while, this is you.
So the first step how do we dothat?
Interrupt the thinking.
Like I said, expect that thefear is going to show up.
Pause to examine your thinkingand remember it's not you
Broaden your perspective.
(16:22):
Look from different angles.
Have people in your life, likethe Kim in my life and my
husband in my life, who werereally standing for my bigger
commitments.
Have people in your life thatdo that for you, my bigger
commitments.
Have people in your life thatdo that for you.
And the opportunity here andyou saw it in my stories when
you get your thinking moving inthe direction of your dreams,
(16:49):
watch out.
A lot shifted as that happened.
The second one is leverage yourimagination and so, instead of
considering only considering allthe things that could go wrong,
start to ask yourself whatcould go right.
And that was that moment in mystory, driving in the car, where
suddenly, that my imaginationstarted to look at what if it
(17:11):
went right, what if it went well?
And so that's a powerful shiftin perspective and that's one
you can create for yourself.
Number three chooseintentionally.
Quiet your mind, consider allthe options, pause to discern,
call on all your senses andfaculties to make a choice that
(17:33):
is right for you, versus lettingyour fear, just immediately
shut it down.
Number four let your commitmentlead the way, knowing that,
knowing your larger commitmentsin life, you know, in that
moment when Kim handed me backto myself and basically said,
what if your greatestresponsibility is to live your
(17:56):
life fully for your children, inthat moment I knew this is who
I declare myself to be and I hada moment of choice Was I going
to show up as the mom and personand coach that I commit myself
to being?
Am I going to align my actionsto that, or am I going to let
fear run the show?
(18:17):
When fear shows up, it's yourreminder to pause, broaden your
perspective, call on all yourfaculties.
It doesn't mean you will do itor say yes, but it's your
opportunity to really discernversus assume that fear is right
(18:37):
.
I have a deep desire foradventure, and while skydives
and hikes into the Grand Canyonare amazing, I'm even more
interested in the deep, rich,creative adventures that await
all of us Every morning we wakeup and throughout the day, and
so I want you to start thinkingabout everyday skydives and what
(19:01):
that might mean for you,because, while lots of us want
big changes in our life, what Iknow to be true is that big
changes can feel overwhelmingand unrealistic and often just
get pushed out to someday.
But when you start to focus onthe tiny moments of your life
(19:21):
and shifting the way you show upto them, those little shifts
and changes ripple to the largerchanges that you want.
And that can begin with 20seconds of courage and a leap
can begin with 20 seconds ofcourage and a leap.
(19:42):
So let's talk about just a fewexamples of where a leap could
come into play.
So consider these challengeslike being tired of not having
any work-life balance, orfeeling stuck at work and
dreaming that things will bebetter somewhere else, or
feeling frustrated by lopsidedrelationships where you're
always the one giving.
So some potential leaps inthese areas of life could be
(20:10):
with regard to no work-lifebalance.
Maybe you make a differentchoice today.
So, instead of feelingfrustrated by no work-life
balance, what could you do todaythat would give you a feeling
of balance in your life?
And what if you started doingone thing every day that gives
(20:30):
you the experience of morebalance?
It will happen in the moments,in those little moments where
you create a little bit ofbalance are going to grow and
become larger, to creatingbalance in your life.
So it's really does begin withone simple step and taking
responsibility for creating thatsense of balance right where
(20:52):
you are.
So the second one was aboutfeeling stuck in a job and
thinking things would be bettersomewhere else.
So what if?
What if, today, you actuallytook action on that?
What if you gave yourselfpermission to actually explore
other jobs?
This often will happen withclients where I'll be like give
it, just give yourselfpermission to go, look, go
(21:13):
explore, see what's out there.
Give yourself freedom toactually make that change.
And what I know is thatsometimes, when you do that, you
actually, when you have thefreedom to leave, you actually
find that you want to stay oryou discover something that
helps you take that next step toactually leave.
(21:37):
And the third one frustrated bylopsided relationships, because
you're always the one giving.
What if you began with onerelationship in your life and
started making some new moves inthat relationship?
What if you started to teachthat person in your life how to
be in relationship with you?
(21:57):
Now, and you can do that with aton of loving kindness, you
know, we have to realize thatwe've taught people how to be in
relationship with us up untilthis point, whether we realized
it or not, but it's never toolate to say, hey, I know I've
always done that, but I can't dothat anymore.
And here's what I can do, andso you can start to make some
(22:18):
new moves in that relationshipand again, little small,
courageous leaps.
So remember the day on the phonewhen Kim said to me what if
your greatest responsibility asa mom is to live your life fully
?
I want you to just take thatinto your own life.
(22:39):
What does that mean to you?
How does that translate?
What do you hear in that foryourself?
And who do you want to be inyour everyday life when it comes
to work relationships,parenting, marriage?
What if you let your largercommitments lead the way more of
the time?
And what leaps can you make inthe coming moments and days that
(23:06):
will reflect these choices?
So here's to everyday skydiving.
And remember it's for you,people who are committed to
something bigger in their lifeand willing to show up in the
face of their feelings forsomething much larger.
So take a moment to make a listof all the ideas that stirred
(23:30):
as you were listening to thispodcast and get leaping into
your everyday life.
Thank you for tuning in to thisepisode of Differently.
It's been an honor to sharethis conversation with you.
You know, one of the keys toliving fully is to take action
when you're inspired to do so.
I hope you found that spark ofinspiration today and would you
(23:54):
help us spread the word.
Did someone you know come tomind while you were listening?
If this episode could impactsomeone you know, please share
it and pass it along.
New episodes drop weekly, sotap that subscribe button and
join us next time as we continueto challenge the status quo and
get equipped to live lifedifferently.
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