From Heartbreak to Hope

We want to hear from you! Send us a text!

Tammy Summers shares her extraordinary journey of losing both her children and finding healing through faith, surrender, and service to others.

• Lost her son Matthew who was born with a rare form of dwarfism despite doctors predicting he wouldn't survive birth
• Experienced God's supernatural presence when Matthew passed away after two and a half years
• Received divine reassurance through a powerful dream that confirmed Matthew was with Jesus
• Lost her daughter Alex nine years later in a car accident during her senior year of high school
• Multiple non-believers reported sensing God's presence at Alex's accident scene
• Tammy's husband surrendered his life to Christ the night of their daughter's accident
• Found healing not through understanding "why" but through surrendering to God's will
• Started serving in youth ministry two months after Alex's death as part of her healing journey
• Discovered that helping others was instrumental in healing her own broken heart
• Wrote "Homecoming: A Story of Hope Out of Heartbreak" with proceeds funding water wells in Uganda

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:12):
what's going on.
Everybody, it's good to be backwith you here on dimensions.
We are so excited to be withy'all at this time.
Listen, just so y'all know.
We just got back fromcalifornia I know I beat her to
it Everybody did four dayrevival.
And then we celebrated 13 yearson the beach of Carmel.
We watched the sunset.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
It wasn't as sunny and warm, in fact, everybody.
It was actually warmer herethan it was there, but boy was
it beautiful.
I mean the, the, the ocean.
Matter of fact, I got my feetwet.
I wasn't trying to go in theocean but the waves they caught
me so quick.
So I I was trying to run away,but I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
So my how many black people you know that surf?
That's the first thing I'mgonna throw out there real
quickly he's gonna go.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
How many black people do you know?
So you don't know.
We don't know about the waves,so she was out there trying
quickly.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
How many black people do you know?
So you don't know.
We don't know about the wavesso she was out there trying to
be cute.
She's out there also.
I said tiff, I was like thewaves are coming.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was coming back, though I was coming back I was
making my way back, but I didn'trealize the wave was that big
that it was chasing me it was.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
I was, I was on the sidelines, I was on the side.
I wasn't going near that stuff.
I don't surf, I don't do any ofthat stuff.
I just stick close to the baythere.
But it was really good though.
We had a beautiful room, it wasfun, yeah, I mean we really did
it up.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I felt like we were on our cruise again.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, so we were right overlooking the Pacific
Ocean and we had a room that hada fireplace, an actual real
fireplace, and you had a balconyso we could pull back the
sliding glass door and leave thescreen open and we could hear
the waves through the night andstuff.
So yeah, that's how we do it,y'all.
Daddy hooked it up, didn't he?
Yeah, no doubt, come on,somebody Throw some props in

(01:59):
there.
Type that in the chat.
Daddy held it down.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Daddy held it down.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Well, my internal clock still feels off, though
yeah like I still feel, like I'mwell we got back at like 11 30,
but it was actually 8 30 andthen, a few days before that, we
we lost three hours.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Well, if you think about it, if you think about it,
though, we went through, wewent, we experienced three
different time zones in one day.
Yeah, and one day we went.
We experienced three differenttime zones in one day.
Yeah, in one day.
We went from california, thenwe went to denver and then back
to which is yeah, and then wewent back to pittsburgh.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
So we're all kind of messed up here, but we went
three, two, one three hours incalifornia two hours in denver
and one hour well not one hour,but regular regular for us.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
So yeah, so that was cool, so we are back.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, we are back, but we jump right in the saddle,
we're ready to go and we arereal excited, um about this
topic of discussion.
Uh, it's kind of more serious,um, when it comes to the
weightiness and the magnitude of, uh, the person that's going to
be with us, but she has such aphenomenal story and, man,
listen, I'll tell you what.

(03:08):
You may have heard a lot ofstories, with this one here.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
I guarantee it's pretty much unmatched.
I was talking to her before wecame on and I said listen, you
need to send it into WordNetwork and you send it to TVN
Daystar, get Sid RossSupernatural.
I mean all of it.
I mean cause her story isnothing short of miraculous of
what God has done.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, well, and I'm so honored that she's here with
us because there are so manypeople, babe, that really need
um, they need what she has.
You know, just the other day Iwas talking with somebody and um
, before we actually went toCalifornia, I was talking with
somebody and they had lost theirdaughter a little bit ago and

(03:49):
still not really knowing how tofully grieve, not knowing, she
said, well, I just really didn'tfully grieve yet and that's,
it's hard, but there is hope onthe other side and that's what
our guests today tonight isgoing to share with us.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, so listen.
If you haven't taken a momentyet to like, subscribe, follow,
share, take a minute right now.
We're on YouTube, we're onFacebook, every place where
podcasts are platformed.
We are on there iHeartRadio,apple Android store, spotify,
all of them and listen.
If you take a minute right nowto like, subscribe, follow and
share, you, too, can be thelatest member of the Dimensions

(04:32):
family.
So we'd like to welcome you andthank you so much for helping
us get this word out there andletting people know what we've
got coming up.
I guarantee you this.
There's a lot of podcasts.
You can listen to the contentin a way that we deliver it.
There aren't many people thatdo it the way that we do it.
We do it a little bit different, so you're going to be blessed,
you're going to laugh, you'regoing to be inspired, you're
going to be motivated, you'regoing to be moved.

(04:53):
All of that.
You're going to gain somewisdom and knowledge.
That's why we call itdimensions, because there are
levels to.
This helps you shift from onelevel of glory to the next.
So, with that, in mind you wantto bring on our guests, let's do
it.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
So we have with us Tammy Summers.
Tammy has.
I met Tammy a few years back ata woman's event that we both
spoke with and, boy you know, Iwas telling you, babe, that as
soon as she opened up her mouth,I could, I could sense the
anointing of God on her.
She has such a sweet spirit.
She is a mom, she's a wife,she's a minister, she's an

(05:29):
author.
We'll take some time at the endhere to go over her book.
I don't know.
I'd love to figure out if shehas more books because she has
so much ministry inside.
So, tammy, welcome toDimensions.
We are so glad to have you withus.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Thank you.
It is an honor to be with you,to be invited.
I'm just really excited toshare my story and my prayer is
that everything we talk abouttonight will give people hope
and ultimately just point toJesus.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Amen, amen.
That's what it's all about.
Well, before we get serious, wehave a fun segment called Would
you Rather?
Would you be willing to join inwith us on this?

Speaker 3 (06:16):
It depends.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
It's fun.
It's fun, it's fun.
Yeah, All right, All right,Tammy.
So the first question is wouldyou rather have hands as feet or

(06:40):
feet as hands?
Have hands as feet or feet ashands?
I know it takes a minute tothink about.
You got to be like okay, hands,feet, feet hands, I think feet
as hands.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Why is that you want to walk upside down?

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Feet as hands.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Oh, boy, because I'm thinking like your feet take you
where you're going, but youneed your hands to be able to.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know,because I as I'm thinking that
that's probably a dumb answer.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
No, but.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
But you know if you have to make a choice.
I mean, that's why I like myfeet, hands where they are
because they are exactly wherethey need to be.
Because they don't make no sense.
I mean, I don't know which one,I don't know.
I put my hands on my feet.
I would do that.
Yeah, because if I haven't hadmy feet up here, how am I going
to walk?
I mean, I'd have to walk upsidedown my whole life.

(07:40):
I'd be running upside down likethis.
I'm like, nah, I'll leave itdown, I'll get my hands nice and
callous.

Speaker 3 (07:46):
They'll look like Caesar.
What's it called?

Speaker 1 (07:48):
From.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Planet of the.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Apes.
They'll be all calloused up,but I'll be able to walk and do
everything, and then, when I sitdown, I can feed myself with my
hands that are by my feet.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
You just have to keep your other set of hands really
clean.
You know that.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
You get to switch them or you only get one.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Well, no, your hands as your feet, so you can choose
which one you want.
So you'll keep your hands, soyou'll keep one.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oh, you still keep all of it.
Yeah, I'm definitely doinghands on the bottom end.
Okay, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, I'm still going with whatI said though.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Okay, you're going to go with that one.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Any change with you, Tammy.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Or are you going to stick with it?
You're going to commit to it.
Miss Tammy, I'll commit to it.
You're going to commit.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
All right, good, all right.
Now we're going to go biblicalon you here.
So would you like to live inthe Old Testament, or would you
like to live in the OldTestament?

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Is there any particular reason for that?

Speaker 3 (08:52):
I don't know, just some of the prophets, just being
able to be in the days of theold prophets.
Yeah, that's good, and themstanding on the streets and
preaching the word, and just, ohman, just from that voice you
know that voice of God just Wowthat would be exciting.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
We are in the new Testament, so I guess that's one
of the things we still are, butare you talking about like the
new Testament?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
you're talking about, from Matthew to revelation.
Yeah, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Because basically, what we've already experienced,
that.
But to go back to the old, toyour point, tammy, I think it'd
be kind of neat because I thinkone of the things that would
give you perspective, because Ithink we underestimate the power
of salvation and what it'sreally like to have the spirit
of God within us.
In the Old Testament thepresence of God came upon people
so he would rest on them.
But we have the Bible says whatthey had on Mount Sinai when

(09:40):
the mountain shook and thethunder rolled and the lightning
flashed and the earthquakethat's now in our hearts.
The Bible says yeah, so thatsame voice is there, it's living
in us.
So it'd be neat to be able tocompare the two.
So I'd probably go back becauseI've already experienced this.
So, I'd go back to the oldexperience.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
That and then ask me again, okay.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well, that's good Okay.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
Last one Would you rather have the gift of prophecy
, like Isaiah, or the gift ofhealing, like Peter?

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Well, I've prayed for the gift of healing, so I would
say healing.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
So healing, yes, yeah , yeah.
Healing is so needed, not onlyin the physical sense, but in
the emotional sense as well.
You know, I think about all thepeople that are heartbroken or
just emotional trauma, tammy,that want and need to be healed
by the power of the Holy Spirit.
What about you?

Speaker 1 (10:38):
Boy, that's a tough one too, because you're
comparing two differentdispensations and eras.
You know so.
But since I've alreadyexperienced that healing gift
and operate in that, uh, to havethat experience, like isaiah
had to be a major prophet towrite down.
He had a lot of the propheciesand saw a lot of things about
christ, uh, we have themessianic.
A lot of the messianicprophecies are found in the book
of isaiah.
So to be able to experiencethat, and also isaiah, chapter

(11:00):
six, where he had the encounterwhere he was lifted up into the
throne room the year that KingUzziah died, saw the Lord high
and lifted up, said there weretwo with two angels, or the
angels One or two.
They covered their face and twothey covered their feet and two
they flew, and to have thatwhole encounter and all that,
that'd be pretty neat.
So I'd probably go with that,all right.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Well, tammy, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
Wasn't that bad, was it Pretty painless, pretty
painless, it's all right.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
It's always fun, you know.
It gives us a differentperspective on our guests, you
know.
So Well, let's transition here.
You know, I think the lastquestion and I didn't even think
about this really about thehealing piece.
You know, you said you'veprayed for healing many times,
and there are people that arewatching out there that have

(11:47):
prayed for healing, for theirloved ones to be healed and
maybe themselves to be healed aswell.
But you have a story that Ithink there are people out there
that not only can sympathizewith, but that will also be able
to empathize with.
So can you start just a littlebit of telling us about even

(12:12):
just the two kids that Godblessed you with, and maybe just
, you know, starting with I knowyou I can't remember your
youngest son's name, but it'sMatthew, that's right, matthew
and then maybe lead us intoMatthew's journey after that.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
I think I need to preface that.
You know, prior to my children,you know I was raised in the
church.
My husband was not.
But I really had notsurrendered my life to Jesus
till I saw an old preacher on TVand he was talking about what
it meant to be born again and Ihad never heard that growing up
in the denomination that I wasin.
And and it was like that lightbulb, the spirit of God just

(12:54):
woke up my soul and I knew and Ijust committed my life and
surrendered my life to Jesus.
At that time my life completelychanged.
Like he gave me a love forBible prophecy and you know,
water wells.
I was just obsessed withwatching things shows with water
wells and had no idea what wascoming.
So he was preparing us for adifficult road but, I, got saved

(13:18):
probably, you know, five yearsbefore my son was born.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
So and Tammy, just really quick.
Did you grow up in a Christianhousehold?

Speaker 3 (13:29):
I did, and we went to church, we went to Sunday
school, but we didn't read theBible together, we didn't pray
together, so you know we reliedon what the pastor taught us.
So really not until I was about25 was I really starting to
hunger more after God, wantingto know him.
And then it took, you know,those seeds were being planted.
But then I saw the pastor on TVand I mean it was probably from

(13:53):
the 1970s, this recording.
I was just flicking through thechannel, saw it and it just
changed my life.
So, and then I, you know,obviously I asked, I was filled
with the Holy Spirit and thenjust my life changed.
He was, he was preparing me forwhat was coming.
So my daughter, alex, she wasborn in 1994.

(14:19):
And then my son, matthew, wasborn in 2000.
But in 1999, was born in 2000.
But in 1999, when I found out Iwas pregnant, at about 20 weeks
pregnancy, we found out that hewell, we didn't know it was a
boy.

(14:39):
But we had an ultrasound andthey said to us your child has a
skeletal um, a rare form ofdwarfism.
This child will not survivebirth.
Um, but the first thing theyoffered me was that um, but you
have the option to abort thischild.
So that was and you know we'recrying.

(14:59):
My husband and I were lookingat the ultrasound and you know
we see this little baby in there.
We wouldn't have known anythingwas wrong.
I didn't have an ultrasoundwith my daughter, so I thought,
well, this time around we will,otherwise we would have never
known during the pregnancy.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
So you know, my daughter was five at the time.
We went home, told her aboutthe baby.
We had to prepare her.
They told us the baby wouldn'tsurvive.
And she, you know out of themouths of babes.
She said Mommy, I know what thedoctors say, but you know what
she said.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Only God knows what his plans are for our baby.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
And you know God was speaking through this little
child.
But it was a long, I had 20weeks to go.
But it was a long, I had 20weeks to go.
And it was just like this weight, this heaviness, and waiting

(15:58):
for the day of the birth,preparing for my child to die,
because that's what we were told.
And so we delivered at ButlerHospital.
We weren't going to take anyspecial measures in Pittsburgh,
any special hospitals, andMatthew is delivered and he
comes out crying and first ofall, he had a rare form of
dwarfism so he ended up having.
He was one of four livingchildren in the world with this
type.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
So his chest was very narrow so that's why they said
the lungs wouldn't develop.
They said, oh, he'll justasphyxiate at birth.
I mean it was very, you know,cold, you know, and how they
explained it, and uh, but herewe hear this baby crying when he
comes out and um, and I heldhim with a blanket and I peeked
underneath because maybe theywere wrong with the diagnosis

(16:37):
and I just prayed.
I just prayed, lord, just wouldyou just give me a few minutes
with this child, like I didn'twant my baby to be born not
breathing and, and you know, godgave us two and a half years
with him.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
So, and, tammy, can I just share this too, because I
think what you're saying is soimportant, because the doctors I
just shared this this weekend,the doctors you know, they have
a.
They diagnose you with whateverthey feel based upon their
research.
But the Lord can shift theprognosis, the course of what

(17:19):
the doctors see, and I thinkit's very important to know for
everybody that's watching.
Remember that, just as she said, you know, you know he was
supposed to go to heaven atbirth, but that wasn't what
happened.
And it's so important tobelieve the final word of God.

(17:40):
Tammy, you know what I mean thefinal word of God.
So yeah, but go ahead.
I just wanted to share that.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
So you know, for 10 days he was in our local
hospital here in Butler and theysent us home on a hospice
consult.
So again, we're waiting for ourchild.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Right right.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
And after three weeks the nurse said you know, tammy,
I really think that littleMatthew's going to be here a lot
longer than what the doctorsever told you.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
I said I agree.

Speaker 3 (18:12):
So we got him into regular care, pulled him out of
hospice and he was doingactually really well for two
years and the doctors keptsaying you guys are taking
really good care of him.
He's never in the hospitalwhich they expected him to be.
He wasn't on a ventilator, hewas actually thriving and he had

(18:35):
an ear infection and a highfever.
So because he was fragile, hehad special needs and you know,
he also had developmental delay,not just the rare.
And so his pediatrician said,you know, I want you to go to
children's.
And so he was taken there andhis fever, you know, went from

(18:59):
104.
He they unfortunately wereunable to get IV hydration in
and the fever went from 104 to106.5.
Now that's what happens inthird world countries.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Wow, yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Right.
So it was.
Unfortunately, there was a lotof just miscommunication and he
kind of got lost in the shuffle.
It was really tough and by thetime he got to ICU his organs
were shutting down because ofthe brain damage.
He just had global necrosis ofthe brain from the high fever.

(19:34):
For so long and so, over afive-day period, his organs were
shutting down, and so once weknew that there was no brain
activity, we called the chaplainof the hospital, who was
amazing, pastor.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Freeman.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
And you know he's like six foot five.
He just comes down in thiscommanding tone with authority
and we're praying over Matthewaround the bed.
And you know it was that rainyPittsburgh day, you know with
the clouds and there's no sun.
And all of a sudden we'repraying.
You know your eyes are closedwhile you're praying, but you

(20:10):
can see a light come on in theroom, even though it was dark,
and it was like the sun justshone right in, or a light shone
right on Matthew's body, hislittle swollen body.
That's all you could see.
And Brian and I, we peekedbecause I thought somebody
turned the light on.
And when the pastor said, youknow, your will be done, the

(20:31):
light went away and we just wehad peace, we knew that we were
going to take him off, theventilator called our family
down and my parents brought mydaughter, alex, alex, and held
him in my arms and when theyremoved the ventilator and
within a few minutes he passedaway and it was just just

(20:53):
surreal you know, holding yourchild in your arms and saying
goodbye, and I couldn't leavethe room.
I had to.
When it was time for us toleave, I had to hand him to a
nurse because I didn't want toleave him just laying.
So, yeah, it was very, verydifficult the loss of my

(21:16):
youngest, my little, and he, youknow, I couldn't understand
because he was a miraculousperson.
Yes, right, right and.
I couldn't understand for liketwo years.
I said Lord, I don't understandthis.
You know he's a miracle, butwhy did you call him home so
soon?
What was Matthew's purpose?
You know, it was just lots ofquestions.
And not until two years laterwhere I finally just surrendered

(21:39):
and said Lord, you know what?
I don't understand it, but I'mjust going to trust you with it,
and that is when that burden ofgrief was lifted and the
healing process began.
But I have to tell you at threemonths after he passed.
The devil was just saying to meeverything you ever believed is

(22:00):
a lie.
Your son is dead.
You're never going to see himagain.
This was over and over.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
And.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
I just prayed, Lord, I know what your word says, but
I need your insurance because Iwas just desperate.
And that morning I've only hadone spiritual dream in my entire
life and I was in the presenceof.
It was right before I woke upand I was in the presence of
Jesus and I was at his feet andI was kissing his feet and

(22:27):
worshiping him and, and you know, he had the long white robe.
I could not see his face, itwas just like glorious light.
And there was no talking at all.
And when I woke up out of thatdream, I sat up like suddenly
and all I could hear him say inmy spirit is I am who I say I am

(22:49):
, and your son is with me.
That's it, and it was completereassurance.
Um, I never had those thoughtsagain.
Um, and I can remember it now.
And that's been, matthew died.
He would be 25 years old now sohe died um 23 years ago and I
can remember that dream as if itwas just yesterday so wow

(23:11):
that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
We know, uh, tim.
There's a couple of things,obviously, that I kind of pulled
out of this.
One of the things was when mymother passed.
Now I am nowhere comparing whatmy mother went through to what
you guys have gone through, butthe sense of assurance that I
got was outstanding.
I remember they called us inand they said your mother's
going to die.
Come on in.
She had gotten diagnosed withbreast cancer in 2005.

(23:35):
They gave her like a few monthsto live.
She had stage four and so wewent in and we're getting ready
to say our goodbyes.
And I remember how I was at apastor's prayer meeting that
morning when I got the phonecall from my family.
So I went to all the pastorsthat were there and they said
listen, remember, god has thefinal say.
So we went in and went in thereand we all said our goodbyes.
We are sitting around the bedwaiting for her to die and all

(23:57):
of a sudden the power of Godcame into the room and I'll
never forget it.
We knew God visited us.
I don't know how, I can't even.
It wasn't like anything banghit, just like how you said all
of a sudden there was this light.
It's like you just knew youweren't alone.
You just know that God was withyou in that, and I think that's

(24:18):
one of the most amazing thingsto have happened is to have that
assurance of knowing that Godis with you.
So, long story short, my motherended up sitting up into the
bed, ended up eating that day.
She came home, ended up goingback to the YMCA working out.
She didn't die till later on.
She still ended up dying tocancer.
But God and I asked the Lord andthis is what I wanted to ask
you because I said, lord, youknow why.
Why did you bring her back?

(24:39):
Why did you do that?
He said I wasn't going to keepher forever here.
He said, but I wanted to honoryour faith.
And the Lord spoke to me andsaid that from this point
forward, you'll have authorityover cancer, and I've seen
people with cancer, autism.
I've seen so many things healed, but I'll never forget.
The Lord said I just honoredyour faith.
I brought her back, so thenyour faith would have been

(25:01):
honored and God brought her outof that situation.
So, when you're mentioningabout the purpose behind Matthew
, did God ever speak to youabout what the purpose of his
time here was, and how did you?
How did God bring consolationto you and to your husband
through that process?

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Well, I think the purpose was to bring Brian to
salvation, like he had headknowledge.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
And I think it drew him closer, but then he sunk
into depression over the yearsand our marriage, just you know,
went the opposite direction.
So I think that's part ofMatthew's purpose.
It could also be that he waspreparing us for even a greater
loss down the road.
You know, I don't have, I'venever had the exact answer,

(25:52):
because've asked him and then hereally just I felt like he was
telling me, uh, to just trusthim, like I wanted the answer,
but after two years of praying,um, I never really had the
answer and I said okay, justyour ways are higher.
I don't understand it, but I'mgoing to trust you so your
husband ended up coming to theLord.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Uh, brian uh came to come to the Lord, based upon
after Matthew passed betweenthat and no, no, not yet.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Okay, not till after my daughter.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Yeah, so is that?
Okay, it was after that, thenthat's when he came.
So this was kind of the segueof him slowly coming to the Lord
.
So you know, even if it was thefact, I guess well, I don't
want to jump ahead of the story,but but I mean just the fact of
him giving his life to the Lordand using that, if that was the
reason why I have a questiondown the line on about that.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
but I want to hit too , because I think what she said
was so good, what you said wasso good, tammy, because when we
hit these moments of majortrials in life, you know you can
drive yourself crazy trying tofigure out why.
Why did this happen?
Why didn't it happen tosomebody?
What you know, what did I do?
Even I remember when so we losta number of children in the

(27:09):
womb and one particular.
I remember the first one thatwe lost.
I remember we looked at theultrasounds and a baby that
should have been moving was notmoving, and I know that that was
one of the hardest times for me, because I really grappled and
wrestled a little bit with theLord in the why arena.

(27:32):
You know why did this happen.
You know I'm going to raise mychildren arena.
You know why did this happen.
You know I'm going to raise mychildren up.
You know for you, you know thatI'm going to serve you, no
matter what.
Why did you do this?
And I think what you said wasso good?
You have to trust him.
You have to trust him.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, you know, I think also with that the why.
You know, we always want toknow the why.
But what I've learned is askingGod what what is not why, but
what's your will?
Yeah, that's right In this youknow, I mean not the why may not
always come to us, but the what.
I believe God makes thatavailable for his people.
And so, even with the loss ofour children that we've had, you

(28:10):
know which, I said, in no wayis a comparison to Tammy what
the Lord spoke to me, Tammy,when we miscarried a couple, was
that my mother that had passedalways wanted grandchildren.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yes, she did.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
And the Lord spoke to me and said I trusted you with
this process that now yourmother has grandbabies in heaven
, and we believe that if youlose a child, whether you abort
a child, whether you miscarry achild, the child dies until they
hit the age of accountability.
They are with the Lord.
And so one of the things we didtoo Tammy for us is when we

(28:42):
buried the child that we lost.
We buried the child next to mymother and there's an actual
graveside.
We did a service and everythingfor that, and so that was the
way that God kind of gave us thewhat.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
So if you're?

Speaker 1 (28:56):
listening right now.
Maybe you're saying why God?
Why?
Why?
You may not know why, but askhim what is his will?
His will will always suffice,whatever that is, no matter what
you, whether you've lost a job,whether you've lost a loved one
, whether you've lost a parent,whether you've lost a marriage,
it doesn't matter what it is.
God has a plan behind it all,and you may not have every

(29:18):
single answer, but he will giveyou enough of whatever it is
that you need in order to getthrough it.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
That's right.
And Tammy, you said, if Iremember correctly, you said
when you said Lord, I trust you,you said you felt a weight come
off.
Is that correct?
Yeah, and it's like.
It's like there's no way aroundthat.
You know, you want to figureout the why and you want to
figure out the what you want tofigure out everything, but it's
like you have to relinquishtotal, total control to him.

(29:46):
As hard as it is sometimes, youknow as hard as it is, you know
it's so important to do and I dobelieve that there is a release
that happens when you do that.
So you know, tammy.
So your son?
So you lost your son.
Your son went to heaven withJesus when you so, as you

(30:07):
journeyed through life, what wasyour relationship with your
daughter like after that?

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Well, it really made an impact, a huge impact in her
faith, and she went to aChristian school.
You know, when she was five, ohmommy, I asked Jesus in my
heart.
But when she was nine becauseshe was close to eight when
Matthew died, she was nine shesaid how can I know for sure
that I'm going to heaven and I'mgoing to see Jesus and be with

(30:37):
Matthew again?
And so we had a very seriousdiscussion about salvation and
her asking Jesus to forgive.
I wanted her.
To actually profess this?
Because at five, yes, a lot ofkids say I invited Jesus into my
heart.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Right right.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
This was a moment, and sitting on our bed, talking,
and I was able to lead her inprayer and she received Jesus as
her Lord and Savior, and I justprayed that.
When she went to the Christianschool through sixth grade, we
prayed that she would be a lightin the public school system,

(31:14):
and that's exactly.
God honored that and um.
So she was a joy, though, to bearound.
Honestly, the lord used her tohelp us through, like even if I
wasn't crying, she said mommy,you're, I know you're not crying
, but your eyes look sad.
So even when you think you'reputting on this, you, you know
for your kids, they see it.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Read me and um, but we had so many opportunities.
You know she had a specialneeds brother.
It really impacted how she sawlife and um but she was just a
joy.
Um, she was one of those kidsthat the light of Jesus just
shone through her.
Everybody wanted to be aroundher, just a really loving little

(32:00):
girl.
But yeah, nine years old iswhen she gave her life to Jesus.
So he was preparing her and acouple years later she was going
into the public school system.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
But during that interim period my husband and I
with grief, it was period, youknow, my husband and I with
grief, it was just.
You know, I felt the tangibleloss because I held him, I took
care of him, I was working fulltime, we had a nurse, but when I
would come home from work I wasdoing everything.
I said to my husband just getthe groceries, you do this stuff
outside the house, I'll takecare of him.

(32:33):
But my husband felt a sense ofrelief when Matthew died,
actually because he had specialneeds, he had oxygen, he had a
GJ2.
And he was just terrified ofthat and I think he felt a
relief initially.
But six months later I saw myhusband crying his head against
the fireplace.
And you know, and my husband'sis strong, you know I was

(32:55):
telling pastor jay prior um youknow, he was 82nd year born.
He's hardcore military oh, wow,okay, you know the kind of guy
you ever see cry and I rarely.
I don't even know if I ever sawmy husband cry until that time,
um, but we were at different uhof grief, you know, while one
was strong, one was weak.

(33:16):
That's just the process that wehad to go through.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Wow, well, you know you, you you experienced a loss
there with your son.
Then your daughter gives herlife to the Lord and you're
probably thinking everything isgoing to go smooth sailing, even
though there's, you know, youguys are still grieving Cause I
don't know if you 100%, you'd beable to speak to this a lot
better than I would ever.
Uh, is you ever 100% get overbearing your child, your child?

(33:42):
But after you kind of getthrough some of this, then life
takes another turn.
Talk to us about what happenedwith your daughter.

Speaker 3 (33:50):
So nine years pass.
Um, alex was a senior in highschool, just excited for her.
She was a competitive gymnast,she was a cheerleader, oh wow.
And I just enjoyed spendingtime with his family because he

(34:13):
had three little brothers andshe really, for nine years she
was an only child and she didnot like that.
She really didn't tell peopleshe had little brothers.
She said I don't want to makethem upset or cry.
And so her senior year, she wasjust so excited and we were
having talks.
You know, this is so.

(34:34):
Everything happened November1st, but September, the end of
September, it was homecoming.
We're talking about thehomecoming court and we just had
that discussion about the crown.
You know, the crown that youreceive in heaven is so much
greater than anything, anytrophy, any reward you would.
And she'll say, she said, mom,you always say things like that,

(34:54):
that kind of thing.
I feel like God was preparingher heart to go home to heaven
because we were just having.
We were talking about the Lord'sreturn.
When the trumpet sounds, andeven though she was looking
forward to that, she said I betI'd really like to get married.
And I said well, when God, whenthe father sends his son back,

(35:15):
it's you know, we don't, wedon't have a choice in that, so
you just have to be ready.
And so we had a lot ofdiscussions about that and
heaven.
She was just asking a lot ofquestions about Matthew what's
he doing in heaven?
And so I guess I'll just getright to it.
The night she had asked me, onTuesday, we were very strict

(35:38):
parents, even at 17 years old.
We just did not, you know, wanther out anywhere during the
week, especially a couple hours.
And so we both agreed and Igave her a kiss my husband was
in the basement at the time gaveher a kiss and she took off,

(35:58):
spent the evening with him andhis family, helped with homework
and then.
But her curfew was at 10.
And she did not come home at 10.
So it's 10 after 10.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
And I'm pacing and and is she usually on time?
Tammy, like it's usually likeokay.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
I mean, she knows the rules and she definitely didn't
want to hear it from her dad.
So she would have been home at10.
And I thought, okay, and Andrew, they only lived a couple miles
from us.
So I was pacing back and forthand actually the strange thing

(36:38):
is I was kind of dozing off andI kind of startled out of a
sleep and I looked around.
I was really confused.
I'm like what is going on?
So I got up and I noticed itwas 10 after 10.
And I started pacing, lookingout the window.
Her car wasn't in the garage andby 10.15, I messaged Andrew's

(37:01):
mother and she said well, sheleft at 5 to 10.
And this is like 20 minuteslater and I just felt this awful
feeling in my spirit thatsomething was terribly wrong.
And so I said to my husband wehave to go now.
We have to go, something hashappened.
And so we get in the car and wefollow the path where she would
have went and we came upon thescene where there was first

(37:26):
responders and flares, but wecouldn't see what was going on
and my husband yelled.
He said we didn't even know.
We just knew in our spirit, butwe hadn't seen anything.
He said we didn't even know.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
We just knew in our spirit.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
We hadn't seen anything.
He said that's our daughter, wehave to go down, we have to
pray for her and we won't get inthe way.
Just let us go down and prayfor her.
And as we're driving down thislittle country road, we see this
sheet covering her car and wedidn't know it was her car and

(37:55):
it was facing the oppositedirection of what she would have
traveled.
And we just parked and got outand just were walking towards
her car and obviously they stopus and the fire chief said he
said I'm sorry, you can't go,you can't go over there.
And it was like being in a.
Uh.
I personally felt like we were.
I was lifted up above the scene, like I was looking down.

(38:19):
It was just like God's.
I just called it God shock.
It's like His holy presence,it's just.
It comes over upon you andthere was no screaming, there
was no yelling, it was like thiscalm scene.
It was surreal.
And all I remember is saying tothe fire chief she's gone,
isn't she?
And he said yes, and I said Ican't do this again.

(38:41):
I said I've already lost onechild.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
This is our other child.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
I immediately was going to.
I just I can't even believe weare going to face this again.
So being on the scene was verysurreal and obviously her
boyfriend comes through thewoods on a quad, you know,
because he he's.
It was just, it was reallyawful and we just put him in the
car with us until his dad cameto get him and uh, but going

(39:12):
home that night I know I'mjumping around, there's a lot of
details.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
No, you're trying.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
The Holy Spirit was there because, speaking to
people after getting theiraccount, the neighbors said that
the crick that ran through thatproperty was completely still.
They said the hair on the backof their neck was.
They just felt something wasgoing on.
The forensic police officerthat removed her from the car

(39:40):
came to our house three weekslater.
He said I've never done thisbefore Gone to someone's house.
He said, but I was in thepresence of God when I was with
your daughter and he juststarted crying and hugging my
husband and he ends up coming toour church.
He gets saved.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
And so, Tammy, I'm sorry, but he never Wait a
minute.
This guy comes to your housethree weeks later.

Speaker 3 (40:02):
He wasn't a Christian .

Speaker 1 (40:03):
He was not a Christian, but he knew it was
God's presence.
Wow, wow.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yes, and he almost, when he was saying it, he like
kind of dropped his his kneesand my husband held him up and
just hugged him and like Godkept sending people to us.
Like you know, I felt thepresence and these were people
that weren't believers.
There was another neighbor thathe said he was the one that
actually was on the scene firstand he said I, he said my sixth,

(40:34):
sixth sense.
So he was not a believer he kepttalking about sixth sense told
me there was a little boy in theback seat of the car.
Uh, a young child, about twoyears.
He's coming along with him.
This is oh my, wow yeah and um,he said, your daughter just
looked like she was sleeping.
He, she had long eyelashes,just looked so peaceful and
sleeping.

(40:54):
But he couldn't sleep.
He called us a week later.
He said this is what he told usyour daughter's tormenting us,
tormenting me.
He said I can't sleep day andnight because he's battling like
you know God, and then whateverelse he believed and he felt

(41:19):
that he didn't say God, hedidn't know God, but whatever
was tormenting, obviously Godwas touching him and showing him
himself.
I think he experienced that,but there was a fight there
because he didn't believe in God.
So we have an agnostic, we haveother people that maybe believe
here, but they have neverreceived Jesus.

(41:40):
So these are all unbelieversthat are coming to us and saying
something happened on the scenethe presence of God and the
crick stood still.
It was like everything stoodstill.
I even said that it was likelooking down on the scene.
Yeah, yeah, it was obviously.
His supernatural presence hadfilled the scene.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
And.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
I always think about that.
You know, when we die, you knowhe sends ministering spirits
for those who inherit salvation.
Were they in the presence ofangels?
They couldn't see that.
I don't know the veil's thin.
You know Jesus standing rightthere as we.
Um, I don't know the veil'sthin.
You know jesus standing rightthere as we well I don't know,
pastor jay, what your thoughtsare on that.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Well, I always I'm totally with matter of fact,
what the lord showed me when mymother passed, um I I don't want
to waste the time sharing mystuff, I could do that later but
I remember um I actually shewas, she'd gotten, so we had to
put her in a nursing home.
Unfortunately, my dad did anoutstanding job but she needed I
mean total, round the clockcare she had.

(42:42):
It was beyond our ability and Iremember I had to minister at
the nursing home.
She was in.
She's only in there a couple ofweeks or so.
It wasn't very long before shepassed and I remember I was
there on a Sunday morning.
Now let me backtrack just asecond.
It was Wednesday before we werepastoring a church there and
we're in the middle of worshipand the presence of God broke

(43:03):
out.
My brother, pastor Keller, wasthere and he started weeping in
the middle of worship, notbecause of grief or anything,
just the power of God felt.
When the power of God felt, theLord spoke to me and said I'm
coming for your mother and Ithought she was going to be
healed.
So I'm sitting there saying,all right, she's going to be
healed in the name of Jesus andthat's it.
So I was excited, rejoicing.
That was Wednesday.
Now she wasn't on her way out,she just needed total around the

(43:25):
clock care.
We were.
It was in November for us aswell, tammy and so we were
planning all right, how are wegoing to do Thanksgiving?
How are we going to doChristmas?
That Sunday she dies.
Now the reason why I say that Igo into the nursing home, I
minister there to the nursinghome, that I go and visit her
that night she passes what theLord showed me, to your point, I

(43:46):
saw him coming and standing atthe feet of her bed and grabbing
her spirit, her reaching out,coming out of her body, grabbing
him, and the first thought Ihad my dad came to our house at
12 o'clock was that I knowsomebody that met Jesus
personally, and that is where mymind went.
So, to your point, I believe inall of that.
I believe that veil is thin.

(44:07):
I believe that when God comesfor you, the Bible says to be
absent from the body is to bepresent with the Lord.
So there's got to be a way thatthat transition happens.
And the Bible says that it'sbeautiful in the eyes of the
Lord, the death of his saints.
So I totally believe in that.
Now, listen, I don't want to.
I don't want to move forward,but I need to go.

(44:27):
I want to move forward.
I want to go back to something,because the gentleman that you
said came to your house and saidhe felt the presence of God
your husband wasn't saved.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
at the time, right yes, at the date of my
daughter's accident, he said.
He went down to the basement,he got down on his knees just
lift up his hands.
And he asked Jesus to forgivehim.
He said take control of my life, Just use me.
And, like I said, it was almostlike warm water was being
sprinkled on his head and likeliterally there was a

(45:05):
transformation because myhusband had an addiction to
marijuana and he just nevercould sleep well and so he
thought it was helping.
But it started.
That habit started when he wasyoung and and he was completely
delivered from that.
He threw it out and I mean mydaughter.
He never did that around us,but it was like he did this to

(45:26):
sleep.
You know people make excusesfor those kind of things and but
he was completely delivered, sohe was saved the night of her
accident.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
So the night of her accident she went downstairs.
Nobody leads him to the Lord,he just was.
Well, you know what?

Speaker 3 (45:44):
I'll be honest with you Even in my mind he was going
to church.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
He was going to church with us.
But again, many people attendchurch but they don't know the
Lord, and so those seeds havebeen planted, but it took the
death of our daughter to?

Speaker 1 (45:57):
What did he say brought him?
What brought him to that?
Like, what was it that said, inthe middle of that grief and
heartache, to say I'm going togo downstairs and give my life
to Jesus?
What was going on in histhinking that made him Because
most time you'd be so caught upin grief you'd probably be angry
.
He had a point of surrenderthat night.
So what was happening in him?

Speaker 3 (46:20):
I think he was so broken because he tends to want
to control things, and he was sobroken, at the point of grief,
that he loved our daughter somuch that it was just I don't
know, I don't know, but he justthe Holy Spirit obviously just

(46:43):
woke him up, that he needed toturn his life around.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Well, you know, it's amazing, he needed the Lord to
do that.
He just nobody let him, that'sright, yeah, yeah, well, I just
see, amen, I'm sorry.
I just see the transformativepower of the Holy Spirit working
in so many different dimensions.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yeah, it's outstanding.

Speaker 2 (47:12):
In that night.
In that night, you know and I Imean even just the, the
gentleman that came to yourhouse afterwards and said that
he knew, I mean that's that'sreally blowing my mind right now
.
I mean he knew that he was inthe presence of God and he was
not saved.
That to me that says, you knowwhat, when God shows up, you'll

(47:34):
know.
You will know that God showedup.
You know, tammy, after the thedeath of your daughter, if your
daughter went home to be withJesus, did you ever you know you
mentioned about the anger thatcan come out, you know, with
people that, with God, withpeople who experienced loss, did
you ever wrestle with God,especially after your daughter

(47:57):
passed?

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Actually.
No, I know that sounds strange,but neither one of us ever went
through that anger process.
And I know that that is part ofthat, can be part of the grief.
I think that we were just.
We just said it was theirappointed time.
There was nothing that we couldhave done to change that, and

(48:22):
it was just the perspective ofhis word that you know we're
appointed a time and we acceptedit.
We accepted both of them.
My husband went through someanger after Matthew because
there was a lot of disinvitationin the hospital, you know, and
without getting into that.
But no, with Alex it was like itwas her time to go home.

(48:43):
But you know, sometimes you'llsay I don't understand this Lord
.
You know, this is our onlychild left and she dies in a car
accident.
And um, you know there's a lotof details to that night.
Um, but it's hard to get intoit.
I do.
I do, uh, talk about that inthe details of my book.
There's a lot of details, it'sjust not enough time to get into

(49:05):
everything.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
Tammy, I do want to say that.
Mention, mention the book.
Brad, bring that up.
If you would.
Please talk about the book,because I know people are going
to want to get their hands onthat's a great segue.
Please don't forget what you'resaying, but tell us about the
book, what's in the book and howthey can get their hands on
that as well.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
Yeah, so I had been speaking at women's conferences
over the years and it was kindof a compilation of my testimony
.
And then we brought myhusband's testimony in and what
God has been doing througheverything.
And so we were in Uganda inNovember of 2019, and my friend

(49:46):
Amy was with us with theirfamily.
And on the way home on the plane, she said it's time to write
the book.
And people said why didn't youwrite it years ago?
And I said because we were init.
We were in the storm of ourlife and I hadn't had the
perspective yet.
And so it's called Homecoming astory of hope out of heartbreak.
And you can find that on Amazon.
You can search it with the booktitle or even just enter Tammy

(50:09):
Summers.
It should come up for you.
And I want to say that the bookall proceeds go to water wells
in Uganda.
So through all of this, ourbook ministry.
So far we've tapped seven wells.
We partner with Seed inPittsburgh an organization that
works in Uganda.
They have a missionary therethat oversees the Ugandan team

(50:32):
who does these water wells, andwe have friends Lord willing I
get to go again this summer toUganda but we have friends
Millie and Robert there thatwe're part of the ministry there
.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
And we met.
Millie right Did, did we meet?

Speaker 3 (50:48):
Millie yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Yeah, we did.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
She's amazing, Is that a?
Uh, my issue.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
It's yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Yeah, yeah, we actually and her husband.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
I'm sorry what?

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Oh no, I was gonna say we actually partnered with
them and, um, we've sent a bunchof no.
I was gonna say we actuallypartnered with them and we've

(51:25):
sent a bunch of sewing machinesto help women develop a cost of
living, kind of like a develop ajob.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Supports the girls in the secondary school who they
have a room and board Christianeducation.
These are girls that are atrisk of being trapped between
that and the water wells.
I'm really excited to be ableto see where, because, pastor
Robert, that's his home, wherehe was raised in Kigali, uganda,

(51:53):
and so he knows exactlystrategically where these water
wells need to be placed.
So it's been great to be ableto partner with them there.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
So well.
You know, tammy, thank you somuch for writing that book that
is.
It's so good, I know.
You know, my mother evencommented on it and she said, oh

(52:24):
, because she was there when youcame to speak at our women's
event and she got the book andshe said, like you said, tammy,
there are women and men that arewatching and that will be
watching, that maybe not havehad the same exact circumstance
but are right now and have beengrieving the loss of their child
or children.
What are some steps that youwould tell them and you would

(52:46):
encourage them to take to startthe healing process?
Like I said in the beginning,there was one person that said I
didn't even start.
It's been years but they didn'teven start the grieving process
yet.
They feel like they haven'tstarted.
What are some steps?

Speaker 3 (53:06):
that you would tell them to take to start moving
that along.
Well, I started serving inyouth ministry two months after
my daughter died.
I was asked invited to do thatand I have found, and I would
you know, minister, to thesekids who had trauma, and then
I'd cry my eyes out the wholeway home.
Yeah, and then I'd put anotherstep forward and then I would do

(53:30):
it again and as I was pouringmy life out, when I was
completely broken, where I don'twant to leave the house, but I
knew I didn't want the enemy toget a foothold, it was like I am
going to do this, I'm going toserve in Jesus' name.
I'm a worship leader.
I'm going to do this.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
I'm going to serve in Jesus' name.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
I'm a worship leader.
I'm going to sing about hisgoodness and his faithfulness.
And so, even if you feel likeyou're forcing yourself to do it
, you do it and you servebecause you get into the word.
And worship, we know, is notjust about us singing with our

(54:09):
voices, it's worshiping with ourlives.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
Our lives into other people and we're doing the
Father's will, the things afterGod's heart.
It's like we're in the presenceof Jesus.
When we're in the presence ofJesus, there's perfect peace
there is joy despite ourcircumstances.
There is just like I was justso hungry to get into the

(54:34):
mission field, whether it washere or in another country.
My heart was so full and themore I would serve.
I could see over the years howthe Lord was just healing that
huge hole in my heart, tellingyour testimony, tell your story,
tell all about your children,your family.
See them.

(54:54):
What was it like before?
What is your life not like now?
Um, every time I wrote at awoman's conference, every time I
was writing, I thought I washealed.
You mentioned this earlier.
I thought I was healed.
You mentioned this earlier, Ithought I was healed.
It was like that onion, youjust keep peeling back the
layers.
I would just cry.
But then it was like okay, herewe go again.

(55:15):
So it's putting one foot infront of the other.
Get in let the word wash overyou, like, hold on to this, like
the word of God is truth, andyou know we can just say it and
we can read it.
But like, do we really believeit?

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Come on, that's true.

Speaker 3 (55:34):
We're all in a you know, different phases of this.
You could be in the storm ofyour life right now, and then
you're starting to smile alittle bit and some of you are
coming out like you're startingto see the light of Jesus, the
hope, and so we're.
You know, it's like these upand down roller coasters, but
it's like what I would say isjust serve, get out there, pour

(56:02):
your life into other people whoare broken and tell your story,
because the Lord will turn, hewill use that and to to actually
heal, and I I didn't realizetill later you were using this
to heal my broken heart wow soum, it's been a journey and a
perspective.
Pray for the mind of christ lord, help me to see this through

(56:25):
your eyes.
Show me how you will receiveglory.
Like Matthew, I was saying Idon't understand this Lord.
For two years I'm questioning,but with Alex I couldn't pray
anything.
But how are you going toreceive glory from this Lord?
Help me to see this circumstancethrough your eyes and you,
pastor Jay.
You said I love the righteousin the sight of the Lord.
I could actually visualize mychildren coming home to Jesus

(56:51):
and welcome home and I have thatin my mind all the time.
And people say, well, if youcould bring back, would you?
I said absolutely not.
I said they're home with JesusLike we.
My husband and I said if ourkids were here now, would we be
doing what we're doing?
No, we really wouldn't be.
So I miss them terribly.

(57:11):
I can't wait to hold them againand we have so much to look
forward to.
But we've learned to live again.
We've learned to live and tokeep pressing on by the power of
the Holy Spirit.
You know when it's our time.
We'll be with them for eternity, amen.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Well, you know, Tammy , we so thank you for your
testimony.
There's so much.
I wish we had more time to gointo, because there's so many
things that I see the handiworkof God in you, your family, and
it doesn't surprise me that youweren't angry with God.
It really doesn't, because Iunderstand in a lesser degree

(57:53):
what happened with my mother andhow God can give you peace and
how he can give you consolationeven in the midst of such tragic
loss, and you know his grace.
The Bible says where sinabounds, grace that that much
more abounds.
So sin is not just we committeda sin.
I believe the effects of sin,which is death, even grace

(58:14):
always supersedes.
He said in this world.
You're going to tribulation,but be of good cheer.
I've overcome the world andwe've seen the overcoming power
of God with you, your husbandand your testimony, and we just
pray that God continues to giveyou greater platforms to share
about his goodness and what he'sdoing, and I believe that
there's many people that aregoing to be healed and, honestly

(58:34):
, I don't believe that you havehit the tip of the iceberg yet
of what God wants to do in andthrough your ministry.
I think the best is yet to comefor you.
I think you still have muchmore to share.
And I think this is going to bea season for you that God is
going to give you a greaterplatform, that all he's been
doing in the past couple ofyears is putting the finishing
touches on what he's about to do, because people need to hear

(58:55):
your story.
So thank you so much forstopping by here on Dimensions,
and we would love to have youback another time to do a part
two.
That's right.

Speaker 3 (59:04):
Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Amen.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
God bless you.
Wow, wow, I mean definitely apart two.
There was just so much in there.
You know I always, whenever wehave guests, I like to take some
notes, and one of theinteresting things that she said
amongst the many was she saidthe more that she served, the
more that she was healed.

(59:29):
The more that she served, themore that she was, the more that
she gave to others in ministry.
God healed her heart and I lovethe fact that she said, cause
there's so many people out therethat you might be really you're
in the midst of the grievingprocess, or maybe you started,
or maybe you're, maybe you're atthe end.

(59:50):
But if you heard her, she saidshe is now able to live again.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Yeah, well, that's what she did to overcome, I know
, with my life, and once againit losses their degrees and what
she's experienced as far assupersedes mine.

(01:00:17):
No-transcript.
Ladies and gentlemen, we we getstuck in our hurt.
We're angry.
You can't go back.
There's nothing you can do, nomatter what you've lost, no
matter what we've had to leavebehind.
You have to leave it behind.
You have to move forward.
You have to turn the page andstart a new chapter, and that's
what Tammy and Brian have done,and you can just see the fruit

(01:00:39):
of that and the fact that shesaid she wasn't angry.
I could totally understand it.
I have never been where she'sbeen, but I can understand how
God, even how she said she goes.
You know, her husband goes onand gives his life to the Lord,
I mean that is not a time thatyou're usually thinking that
unless God's in it, that's right.
That's that right there, youknow, I thought about the
purposes of her children.

(01:01:00):
How many people are coming toJesus for through?
That it kind of reminds me ofthe scripture says God so loved.
She said how this is our onlychild and God's like yeah, so
that was my only child too.
But whosoever believes in himshould not perish, but have
everlasting life.
And now I think about Matthewand Alex.
It reminds me of the scriptureabout with Cain and Abel that
even though Abel died, it sayseven though Abel died, his blood

(01:01:21):
still speaks and there was atestimony of those that have
gone before her testimony.
She's preaching louder today.
The first sermon that Alex everpreached was her own father.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
Her life preached a sermon to her father, to where
he gave his life to the LordBefore there was.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
You know, a lot of times people talk about how
they're at funerals.
Like as a pastor I've seen,funerals are the best time to do
an altar call.

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Her death precipitated her father's altar
she was in heaven already atthat point, so her life was
already speaking to him in a waythat caused him to come to
jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
And then another guy, yeah, decides, okay, I show up
at somebody's doorpost talkingabout I don't even know jesus.
But I thought, but I know that Iwas in his presence
unbelievable I mean that showsme, and this is one thing I want
to say too, and and this mightbe an encouragement to Tammy and
to her family and everyone else.
I do funerals all the time, andwhen I go to funerals, you know
how people lived.
The spirit of how they live inthe room is always in the room

(01:02:19):
of the funeral, and her spiritof how she lived not only was on
the accident scene, on thedeath scene, it was also
afterwards.
People were being ministered to, after she's gone, and never
and she never preached a word.
Her life in the presence of Godspoke for.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
Well, even now, look what's happening now, look what
we're doing now.
Look at how many people arestill speaking.
Now her life is still speaking.
You know, tammy and her husband, what they've gone through.
It's ministry.
Ministry is coming out of that.
Other people are going to gettouched, other people are going
to get saved, other people aregoing to get set free.

(01:02:58):
That's right just simply becausethey were obedient, even in
this process, and they said,lord, I love what she said.
God, you're in control, I'mgoing to give it to you, I trust
you, god, and when you do that,I mean he does wonders.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Only he can redeem something like that.
Only he can do that I mean tolose two children at that young
and never, ever.
You know she's talked about howshe'll never be able to.
There's a lot of I'll never bea grandparent.
I'll never be a grandparent.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
I'll never have this.
I'll never have that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
And you have to go through that stage and you don't
just give it to God once, yougive it to God every day or as
you get older, say, well now,this would have been the year
she would have did this, and soyou got to give it to God again.
You know, but what?
I just feel this from the Lordright now that we, those of you
that have given something to theLord, that every time some
grief comes up, god's going toredeem it.

(01:03:47):
God's going to redeem it.
He's going God.
Never we're sin abound.
Grace, that's that much morebound.
I have seen that and yeah, anda lot of people say I don't know
how in the world she could everdo it.
You would never know, unlessyou need to be in that, unless
God called you to be in thatsituation.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
You talk about it with your mom.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Grace, the strength and the grace that all of you
were filled with, even youpreaching your mom's funeral.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Cause everybody told me.
They said you're not going tobe able to do it, You're not
gonna be able to preach it, Justgo home, you know, let somebody
else do it.
And my brother's saying Ipreached at it.
We had someone else actually dothe eulogy, but I officiated
the service.
I did all that and I mean I gotin there and started praising
God.
You don't realize how powerfulThink about it If the grace of
God, the life of God that's inChrist Jesus, that got him up

(01:04:32):
out of the grave.

Speaker 3 (01:04:34):
You got to remember a lot of people don't do this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
I know we got to go, but you know you don't think
about how.
When Jesus was on the cross, hewas whipped 39 times on his
back, so his flesh hang likeribbons.
He was struck a hundred timeson his face.
He had nails in his hands.
He was pierced in his side.
He had nails in his feet.
He had a crown of thorns on hishead and he carried the cross a

(01:04:55):
long way and he's stillpreaching.
And by the time he got to thepoint where he died, the Bible
says he let out a shout.
I mean, you don't do that.
I mean somebody gets beaten,left for dead, they lay on the
ground and they can barely eventalk.
He's still talking.
My point is saying that youdon't realize how much God's
power is available in your life.

(01:05:16):
Of course none of us want to gothrough that.
None of us want to face loss.
None of us want to go throughthose things.
But if we have to, you are nothelpless or hopeless.
Jesus Christ will be there foryou and bring you through it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Well, you know you were mentioning John 3, 16, for
God so loved the world that hegave his only begotten son.
And immediately when you saidthat, I thought about the love
of God, how the love of Godcovers, how the love of God
causes transformation, even inpeople's lives that don't know
him.
How the love of God will causeyou and help you journey through

(01:05:50):
some of life's most difficultchallenges.
It's the love of God.
I think about it.
We can't really even fathom theextent of how much he loves us
with our limited capability ofthinking as human beings because
we're limited.
We really don't understand howvast his love is for us.

(01:06:13):
You know, I can even feel itright now as we're as we're
talking about just the love ofGod.
The love of God saying listen,give it to me, I will take care
of you.
The love of God, that sayingdon't worry about that, trust me
, I'll handle that.
I'll help you navigate throughthat.
The love of god, babe amen,amen.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
So listen, I know we don't do altar calls all the
time on a podcast, but I justfeel right now is an opportunity
, just if you need jesus christinto your heart, to take a
moment and just accept him intoyour heart.
You know you don't a lot ofpeople come to an altar because
a preacher called them.
But if you go back back to whatBrian when his daughter died
that night, he went down intothe basement, got down on his

(01:06:52):
knees, says Lord, I'm tired ofwrestling, I give my life to you
.
I mean wow, I mean that's allthat it takes, it's just a
surrendered, willing heart.
The sinner's prayer is not evena biblical thing, it's just a
model that kind of says this iswhat the posture of your heart
should look like when you giveyour life to Jesus.
But if you're in that place, allyou have to do, just like Brian

(01:07:13):
did, is get down on your kneesand say Lord, I'm tired of
wrestling, tired of fighting,I'm ready to receive you into my
heart.
And if you do that, I would sayit like this God will do for
you what a phone booth did forClark Kent Turn you into another
man or into another woman, andGod will transform your life.
And after that, go, findyourself a church, get plugged

(01:07:34):
in, or they will disciple you,develop you and grow you so you
can be the best version that Godhas called you to be.
And of course, we'd welcome youat Another Level Ministries.
Go to webpagewwwanotherlevelchurch.
We'd love to have you.
And before we go, you'd beremiss to tell you.
Please make sure you like,subscribe, follow, share, share
this with somebody, type it inthe uh, the comment bar, or type

(01:07:55):
it in uh, wherever it is thatyou're sharing it on Facebook,
and let people know.
You have to hear this story.
I promise you people will beblessed and will be impacted.
So we'll be looking forward tonext week.
We'll be right back here onThursday eight o'clock.
If you're listening to this, goon iHeartRadio Android Apple
Store, wherever it is, and getthe latest edition of Dimensions

(01:08:21):
Every week, at least one time aweek.
We're going to be coming to youlive and you'll be able to
catch it and, if you like,subscribe, follow, share all
that good stuff, you'll be thelatest member of the Dimensions
family and let us be the firstto welcome you.
God bless you and we'll lookforward to seeing you next time

(01:08:43):
right here on Dimensions.