January 9, 2025 • 13 mins
Wait, is this Thursday? Why yes! We at Discount Storytime are now providing TWO stories per week! In episode 36, I try to make the perfect sun baked potato, humanity's dream come true. Enjoy!
Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
Listen to a free bonus story at Discount Storytime's Patreon.
Bonus content available at www.patreon.com/DiscountStorytime
My contact information:
email: mail@discountstorytime
Or click the link in the show notes to send me a message!
Thanks!
Coffee
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coffee (00:05):
Hi, I'm Coffee McCann and welcome to episode 36 of
Discount Storytime.
I know what you're thinking.
Hey, this is Thursday.
What the heck is going on?
Am I dreaming?
And the answer is yes, wait,and the wrong answer is yes.
The correct answer is no.
(00:26):
You are not dreaming.
Over the holidays, we at our30,000 square foot discount
storytime corporate studio had ameeting of all 37,900 employees
and decided that two episodesper week would be manageable if
we changed some format,streamlined a few things and
(00:49):
fired Ned.
Also, ned, you're fired, soplease enjoy Discount Storytime
twice weekly.
Now more story-er-er-er.
Our story for today is SunPotato.
I know it's impossible, but Ican't help but dream of it.
(01:11):
If I could do one thing in thisworld, just one amazing thing,
it would be this.
Well, first off, I don't knowif you've heard of this, but
since its discovery in 1953, thesun has played a role in life
on Earth, and I have a sneakingsuspicion I can use this sun for
(01:36):
more than something to stare at.
You know how you can fry an eggon the sidewalk when it gets
really hot, or how you can drytomatoes or make raisins in this
sun.
Well, to this day, to the bestof my knowledge, there is not a
way to make a sun-baked potato.
I have to use my oven or to cutdown on my electric bill my
(02:01):
neighbor's oven.
I tried wrapping a potato intinfoil and leaving it on the
sidewalk, but when I came backto check on it, all I had was a
frozen potato.
Then I decided to try myexperiment again in the summer
instead of the winter, so Iwaited until the weather warmed
up and guess what?
I left a potato on the sidewalk.
(02:22):
My neighbor, maya, saw it,thought hey, free potato, and
took it home and baked it in herown oven like a chump.
That potato was on the sidewalkfor a reason, maya.
And no, giving me anotherpotato won't bring back the time
I lost on my scientificexperiments.
(02:44):
I told Maya that and she gotall offended.
I explained to her that I wasdoing science and she wouldn't
understand that I was designinga system that could bake a
potato in the sun.
But then her eyes lit up andshe offered to help me.
Maya (03:03):
I could help you design and build something like that
she said it was nice of her tooffer.
Coffee (03:09):
but Maya doesn't understand science the way I do.
But she's like that.
She thinks she's so smart justbecause she has a PhD in solar
engineering, whatever that is.
Anyway, back to potatoes andreal science.
(03:30):
I tried wrapping a potato infoil in a large metal bowl to
reflect the sun's rays, but eventhat didn't do the trick.
All I wound up with was a warmpotato.
And is a warm potato a bakedpotato?
Nay, my friends, it is not.
I then thought about launchinga potato towards the sun so it
(03:53):
would get closer to the heatsource.
I tried it first, attaching along string to retrieve it after
it baked.
It didn't work, but my manyattempts gained the attention of
our local news.
You may have seen the headlineman Throws Potatoes Into Air
Before Crying.
(04:13):
Although my dream of a trulyperfect sun-baked potato went
unfulfilled, I did not give up,and that, of course, is how I
met a magic pixie.
I thought maybe I needed to gosomewhere really hot instead of
my local town in Nerbly County,where it only gets toasty.
(04:34):
I had to get closer to theequator.
That's the part of the earththat touches the sun.
That's the part of the earththat touches the sun.
So I drove all the way down toFreeville County.
20 minutes south On my drive, abright, sparkling light kept
showing up in the rearviewmirror.
It was like when sunlightreflects off something and
(04:54):
catches the corner of your eye,or when you hold your watch a
certain way to reflect sunlightinto someone's eyes and they get
mad because you're distractingthem from doing CPR.
The problem was this flickeringlittle light.
It kept going and going, almostas if it was chasing after me.
(05:15):
To test my theory, I sloweddown and sped up and, sure
enough, it kept following behind.
When I finally got to theFeeble County line, I pulled off
the road.
I got out and saw the flickeringlight was a tiny little pixie.
She was very small and wore atiny green dress.
(05:36):
Her translucent bluish wings onher back looked like butterfly
wings and she had large blueeyes and red hair.
That was in a short haircut,not really a bowl haircut, but
shorter on the backs and sidesand longer on the top, but I
couldn't think of a name for it.
I said hi, but she didn'tanswer back.
(05:59):
Hi, but she didn't answer back.
She was breathing hard, bentdown with her right hand on her
little pixie knee and her lefthand held up her little pixie
index finger.
After a moment she caught herbreath and said hey, I've been
following you this whole time.
Pixie (06:16):
Why didn't you stop?
Coffee (06:18):
I was too stunned to answer and she went on.
Pixie (06:22):
You passed by Pixie Cottage on the day of
wish-giving, something thathappens around every 500 years.
On the day of wish-giving, werandomly select one human being
and grant them one special wish.
It can be anything they want.
Also, we don't trick you orattach strings like those
(06:45):
jerkwad genies.
Coffee (06:48):
You give wishes like genies?
I asked.
Pixie (06:51):
No, not like genies.
What did I just say?
No strings attached.
The last wish day was around500 years ago.
We gave one big wish to agentleman named Leonardo da
Vinci.
He was a very bright fellow.
Say, is Mr Da Vinci stillaround?
Coffee (07:14):
I don't know, but I can ask.
Pixie (07:15):
I said If so, tell him pixies said hi.
Coffee (07:22):
You said you randomly select one human.
Why was I chosen?
Pixie (07:28):
This time, we decided to choose whichever human happened
to drive by our cottage first,and that was you, wow.
Coffee (07:37):
Okay, I wish for unlimited-
Pixie (07:40):
No!" she gave me an angry look, then
took a deep breath and smoothedher little pixie dress and then
said s" it takes all our pixieenergy to grant the big wish, so
(08:05):
it can only be one.
What is your wish?
Coffee (08:07):
This was my opportunity and I wasn't going to let it
pass.
" I want to use the sun to bakea potato, I said proudly.
" There was a long pause whileJanet took this in.
Oh yeah, the pixie's name wasJanet.
Pixie (08:24):
Finally, Janet asked "you want a solar oven.
Coffee (08:30):
It was hard to not laugh at such a stupid question, so I
laughed at her.
I spoke slowly so she wouldmaybe understand.
"No, I want something that usesthe sun, and when I said sun I
pointed to the sky becauseclearly Janet wasn't getting it
(08:55):
To use the sun to bake a potato.
I pulled a potato out of mybackpack and showed her and said
potato again slowly.
Oh yeah, I always keep abackpack filled with potatoes
handy, because you never know.
Pixie (09:14):
That's your wish, your one wish for humanity.
Coffee (09:19):
She raised one little pixie eyebrow.
"Yup, I said,
Pixie (09:25):
you sure?
No takesies-backsies.
Coffee (09:29):
Yes, I said with determination and vigor,
Pixie (09:35):
Okay
Coffee (09:37):
She gave a big sigh and took out her little pixie phone
and typed for a while whilemumbling something about 'not
wasting pixie magic on thisfool' and 'Prime shipping.
' Finally she finished her magicspell and said "Done, You'll
(10:06):
get it Friday.
And on Friday, guess what?
I was amazing.
But but then I remembered onething.
Janet the Pixie asked me beforeshe left
Pixie (10:24):
If that's what you wanted naturally made baked potatoes,
why didn't you ask me to createpotatoes that grow pre-baked?
Coffee (10:35):
I stood there stunned and dear listener.
I know it's impossible, but Ican't help but dream of it.
If I could do one thing in thisworld, just one amazing thing,
it would be this To this day, tothe best of my knowledge, there
(10:59):
is not a way to grow apre-baked potato.
But if I perhaps started withplanting a partially baked
potato and then waited and thenplanted some some more, and then
I would do this while this isfading out?
Thank you for listening and Ihope you enjoyed Sun Potato.
(11:22):
As I make episode changes, Iwould love to hear from you.
Contact information is in theshow notes and if you just want
a free discount storytimesticker, drop me a line and let
me know an address you wouldlike it mailed to.
And until next time, play nicewith others, be super duper kind
(11:43):
to yourself in 2025, andremember to laugh.
Bye, bye.
Hi, I'm Coffee McCann and welcome to episode 36 of
Discount Storytime.
I know what you're thinking.
Hey, this is Thursday.
What the heck is going on?
Am I dreaming?
And the answer is yes, wait,and the wrong answer is yes.
The correct answer is no.
(00:26):
You are not dreaming.
Over the holidays, we at our30,000 square foot discount
storytime corporate studio had ameeting of all 37,900 employees
and decided that two episodesper week would be manageable if
we changed some format,streamlined a few things and
(00:49):
fired Ned.
Also, ned, you're fired, soplease enjoy Discount Storytime
twice weekly.
Now more story-er-er-er.
Our story for today is SunPotato.
I know it's impossible, but Ican't help but dream of it.
(01:11):
If I could do one thing in thisworld, just one amazing thing,
it would be this.
Well, first off, I don't knowif you've heard of this, but
since its discovery in 1953, thesun has played a role in life
on Earth, and I have a sneakingsuspicion I can use this sun for
(01:36):
more than something to stare at.
You know how you can fry an eggon the sidewalk when it gets
really hot, or how you can drytomatoes or make raisins in this
sun.
Well, to this day, to the bestof my knowledge, there is not a
way to make a sun-baked potato.
I have to use my oven or to cutdown on my electric bill my
(02:01):
neighbor's oven.
I tried wrapping a potato intinfoil and leaving it on the
sidewalk, but when I came backto check on it, all I had was a
frozen potato.
Then I decided to try myexperiment again in the summer
instead of the winter, so Iwaited until the weather warmed
up and guess what?
I left a potato on the sidewalk.
(02:22):
My neighbor, maya, saw it,thought hey, free potato, and
took it home and baked it in herown oven like a chump.
That potato was on the sidewalkfor a reason, maya.
And no, giving me anotherpotato won't bring back the time
I lost on my scientificexperiments.
(02:44):
I told Maya that and she gotall offended.
I explained to her that I wasdoing science and she wouldn't
understand that I was designinga system that could bake a
potato in the sun.
But then her eyes lit up andshe offered to help me.
Maya (03:03):
I could help you design and build something like that
she said it was nice of her tooffer.
Coffee (03:09):
but Maya doesn't understand science the way I do.
But she's like that.
She thinks she's so smart justbecause she has a PhD in solar
engineering, whatever that is.
Anyway, back to potatoes andreal science.
(03:30):
I tried wrapping a potato infoil in a large metal bowl to
reflect the sun's rays, but eventhat didn't do the trick.
All I wound up with was a warmpotato.
And is a warm potato a bakedpotato?
Nay, my friends, it is not.
I then thought about launchinga potato towards the sun so it
(03:53):
would get closer to the heatsource.
I tried it first, attaching along string to retrieve it after
it baked.
It didn't work, but my manyattempts gained the attention of
our local news.
You may have seen the headlineman Throws Potatoes Into Air
Before Crying.
(04:13):
Although my dream of a trulyperfect sun-baked potato went
unfulfilled, I did not give up,and that, of course, is how I
met a magic pixie.
I thought maybe I needed to gosomewhere really hot instead of
my local town in Nerbly County,where it only gets toasty.
(04:34):
I had to get closer to theequator.
That's the part of the earththat touches the sun.
That's the part of the earththat touches the sun.
So I drove all the way down toFreeville County.
20 minutes south On my drive, abright, sparkling light kept
showing up in the rearviewmirror.
It was like when sunlightreflects off something and
(04:54):
catches the corner of your eye,or when you hold your watch a
certain way to reflect sunlightinto someone's eyes and they get
mad because you're distractingthem from doing CPR.
The problem was this flickeringlittle light.
It kept going and going, almostas if it was chasing after me.
(05:15):
To test my theory, I sloweddown and sped up and, sure
enough, it kept following behind.
When I finally got to theFeeble County line, I pulled off
the road.
I got out and saw the flickeringlight was a tiny little pixie.
She was very small and wore atiny green dress.
(05:36):
Her translucent bluish wings onher back looked like butterfly
wings and she had large blueeyes and red hair.
That was in a short haircut,not really a bowl haircut, but
shorter on the backs and sidesand longer on the top, but I
couldn't think of a name for it.
I said hi, but she didn'tanswer back.
(05:59):
Hi, but she didn't answer back.
She was breathing hard, bentdown with her right hand on her
little pixie knee and her lefthand held up her little pixie
index finger.
After a moment she caught herbreath and said hey, I've been
following you this whole time.
Pixie (06:16):
Why didn't you stop?
Coffee (06:18):
I was too stunned to answer and she went on.
Pixie (06:22):
You passed by Pixie Cottage on the day of
wish-giving, something thathappens around every 500 years.
On the day of wish-giving, werandomly select one human being
and grant them one special wish.
It can be anything they want.
Also, we don't trick you orattach strings like those
(06:45):
jerkwad genies.
Coffee (06:48):
You give wishes like genies?
I asked.
Pixie (06:51):
No, not like genies.
What did I just say?
No strings attached.
The last wish day was around500 years ago.
We gave one big wish to agentleman named Leonardo da
Vinci.
He was a very bright fellow.
Say, is Mr Da Vinci stillaround?
Coffee (07:14):
I don't know, but I can ask.
Pixie (07:15):
I said If so, tell him pixies said hi.
Coffee (07:22):
You said you randomly select one human.
Why was I chosen?
Pixie (07:28):
This time, we decided to choose whichever human happened
to drive by our cottage first,and that was you, wow.
Coffee (07:37):
Okay, I wish for unlimited-
Pixie (07:40):
No!" she gave me an angry look, then
took a deep breath and smoothedher little pixie dress and then
said s" it takes all our pixieenergy to grant the big wish, so
(08:05):
it can only be one.
What is your wish?
Coffee (08:07):
This was my opportunity and I wasn't going to let it
pass.
" I want to use the sun to bakea potato, I said proudly.
" There was a long pause whileJanet took this in.
Oh yeah, the pixie's name wasJanet.
Pixie (08:24):
Finally, Janet asked "you want a solar oven.
Coffee (08:30):
It was hard to not laugh at such a stupid question, so I
laughed at her.
I spoke slowly so she wouldmaybe understand.
"No, I want something that usesthe sun, and when I said sun I
pointed to the sky becauseclearly Janet wasn't getting it
(08:55):
To use the sun to bake a potato.
I pulled a potato out of mybackpack and showed her and said
potato again slowly.
Oh yeah, I always keep abackpack filled with potatoes
handy, because you never know.
Pixie (09:14):
That's your wish, your one wish for humanity.
Coffee (09:19):
She raised one little pixie eyebrow.
"Yup, I said,
Pixie (09:25):
you sure?
No takesies-backsies.
Coffee (09:29):
Yes, I said with determination and vigor,
Pixie (09:35):
Okay
Coffee (09:37):
She gave a big sigh and took out her little pixie phone
and typed for a while whilemumbling something about 'not
wasting pixie magic on thisfool' and 'Prime shipping.
' Finally she finished her magicspell and said "Done, You'll
(10:06):
get it Friday.
And on Friday, guess what?
I was amazing.
But but then I remembered onething.
Janet the Pixie asked me beforeshe left
Pixie (10:24):
If that's what you wanted naturally made baked potatoes,
why didn't you ask me to createpotatoes that grow pre-baked?
Coffee (10:35):
I stood there stunned and dear listener.
I know it's impossible, but Ican't help but dream of it.
If I could do one thing in thisworld, just one amazing thing,
it would be this To this day, tothe best of my knowledge, there
(10:59):
is not a way to grow apre-baked potato.
But if I perhaps started withplanting a partially baked
potato and then waited and thenplanted some some more, and then
I would do this while this isfading out?
Thank you for listening and Ihope you enjoyed Sun Potato.
(11:22):
As I make episode changes, Iwould love to hear from you.
Contact information is in theshow notes and if you just want
a free discount storytimesticker, drop me a line and let
me know an address you wouldlike it mailed to.
And until next time, play nicewith others, be super duper kind
(11:43):
to yourself in 2025, andremember to laugh.
Bye, bye.
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