January 20, 2025 • 13 mins
What if understanding goose honks could change a family's destiny? Will my cousin Peggy's quirky major in goose lexicology, once the subject of her parents' jokes, becomes the hero of our story? Listen and find out.
Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Coffee (00:06):
Welcome to Episode 39 of Discount Storytime.
Literature's Finest DumpsterFire.
Today's story is Goose.
Translator.
Enjoy.
Everyone thought my cousin Peggyhad made a poor choice of
college major, but nobody washarder on her than her parents,
(00:29):
uncle Chip and Aunt Claire.
How is she going to make aliving doing that, they would
ask?
Peggy studied goose lexicologyand became fluent in goose honk.
And became fluent in goose honk.
I didn't like how Uncle Chipand Aunt Claire treated Peggy
about it, always bringing it upat family events, telling
(00:51):
everyone how their daughterwould always be poor and walking
around through theirneighborhood wearing goose
lexicology is stupid sandwichboards.
One day Peggy, uncle Chip andAunt Claire were driving home
from church.
Aunt Claire just gave a guestsermon titled Would a True
(01:13):
Christian Study Goose Lexicology?
Probably not.
Uncle Chip was busy needlingPeggy with Well, how are you
going to afford the gas to getall the way home, peggy with?
Well, how are you going toafford the gas to get all the
way home?
Is your useless degree going topay for it?
They pulled up to a long trafficline and waited, but after
about 30 minutes they hadn'tbudged.
(01:34):
There hadn't been an emergencyvehicle or police officers
either.
Peggy got out to see what wasgoing on.
Plus, she needed a break fromher parents' constant badgering.
She left her car and startedwalking up to the front of the
line of cars.
Behind her, uncle Chip and AuntClaire climbed on the car and
(01:57):
chanted Goose lexicology isstupid into bullhorns.
Peggy tightened her fists andadded some stomp to her walk.
At the front of the traffic jamwas a horse-drawn stagecoach
with its blinkers on.
Standing just outside thestagecoach was a man and a woman
(02:17):
dressed in fine medievalclothing.
The man wore a royal courtdoublet and shoulder cape and
looked quite royal indeed.
The woman wore a beautiful blue, royal velvet gown.
They carried an undeniable airof nobility, but terror froze
(02:38):
their faces, for before themstood two geese, but not just
any geese.
These geese, wearing theirtrademark little masks and
cloaks, were dreaded highwayrobbers.
They would have been cute ifnot for their razor-sharp swords
(03:02):
, glinting in the noon sun andpointed to the man and woman.
And as the old saying goes, agoose with a sharp sword is no
joke.
Both humans and geese seemed tobe at an impasse.
The humans stood frozen in fear, often looking over their
(03:23):
shoulders into the stagecoach,while the geese gave frustrated
honks.
Peggy thought maybe she coulddiffuse the situation.
So she kept a safe distance andtried talking to the geese.
Honk, honked Peggy.
This threw the geese off to beaddressed directly and they
(03:45):
lowered their little swords, butjust for a moment.
Then they honked honk, whichtranslated to these foolish
humans do not understand robbery.
Their treasure is ours.
Make them hand it over or youwill suffer the same fate.
Wench.
Peggy explained this to thepeople Carefully.
(04:09):
The man and the stagecoachdriver brought down a treasure
chest from the stagecoach andcarried it to the robber geese.
With a flick of his sword, thegander opened the chest.
Inside were gleaming gold coins, jewelry, rare gems, a few
one-dollar bills and a twentyspot.
(04:31):
The royal woman spoke there youhave our money.
Please, let us go.
Again.
She glanced back into thestagecoach, but only for a
moment.
Then the woman asked Peggy, canyou really speak, goose?
Yes, peggy answered.
Please, ask them to let us go,please, said the woman almost in
(04:57):
tears.
Peggy honked and the geesehonked back.
This went on for a while andeveryone patiently waited.
Finally Peggy spoke the geese.
Thank you for your kinddonation.
They explained to me that sincethey lost their goslings they
turned bad and have taken to alife of crime, mostly stealing
(05:20):
from the corporate fat cats whorun Renaissance Fairs, or Big
Ren as it's called.
Why, asked the man.
Peggy continued.
They had gone to the NerblyCounty Renaissance Fair with
their three goslings.
The family was having awonderful time until a large
(05:44):
crowd separated them.
The parent geese lookedeverywhere and everywhere and
tried asking for help, butnobody could understand them as
there were no hired goosetranslators.
Their goslings were gone.
They blame Renaissance fairsand since they hadn't been able
(06:06):
to get their children back, theyvowed to take down Big Wren.
The man and woman looked at eachother, then looked at the goose
parents and the man asked Praythee, ask these goose robbers
what year that was.
Was it perchance, fall of 2019?
(06:27):
Was it perchance fall of 2019?
Peggy and the geese honked backand forth for a while.
Then Peggy answered yes, fallof 2019 in Nerbly County.
Mond, you said the woman, whichis Spanish, for you ain't gonna
believe this.
(06:48):
She poked her head into thestagecoach and said children,
it's okay, can you come outplease?
And to everyone's astonishment,three young geese around school
age waddled out of thestagecoach.
Age waddled out of thestagecoach.
(07:14):
Two wore handsome little tunicsand one wore a frilly purple
dress.
Mama, mama, papa, papa.
What is happening?
Asked the young geese, honk.
Honk honked the robber geese,which is Spanish for mon dieu.
The woman spoke and Peggytranslated.
You may have heard of us.
(07:34):
This is my husband, sir CletusRavenstone III, and I am Lady
Trish Ravenstone, the royalowners of the Nerbly County
Renaissance Fair.
I remember that fateful day inthe fall of 2019.
We found three lost goslingsand we looked everywhere for
(07:59):
their parents, all day and allnight.
We must have just missed eachother.
At the same time, Sir Cletusand I were trying to start a
family, but nothing worked.
When we saw these poor lostgoslings, we just knew that fate
had brought us a family andsince then we have raised them
(08:24):
with all the love as if they areour own, with all the love, as
if they are our own.
The youngest goose asked who arehonk?
They?
Mama.
Lady Trish answered with tearsin her eyes Sweetie, these are
your parents, your birth parents.
(08:47):
Honk, said the father goose.
Yes, we understand you.
Honk, said the child geese.
Peggy's jaw dropped.
Amazing, these goose childrenstill have their natural
language of goose.
Honk and their adoptive parentshave taught them English.
(09:11):
They are bilingual geese.
The young geese were initiallytimid and kept looking back at
their adoptive parents.
But they were told it was okay.
And finally the children andgoose parents ran to each other
and hugged.
Lady Trish said we alwaysthought this day may come when
(09:37):
you find your biological parents.
Come when you find yourbiological parents.
What happens now?
She asked Honk, honk, honkedMother Goose.
She waddled up and took LadyTrish's hand.
Peggy translated Mother Goose issaying that she cannot thank
(09:57):
you enough for taking such goodcare of her babies and, as
heartbreaking as it will be forher to lose her children again,
you can afford to provide themwith a life she never could.
(10:18):
Mother Goose honked sadly andturned away.
Lady Trish gave the MotherGoose a decisive look and pulled
her back around.
No, you are not losing yourbabies again, I swear it.
You and Father Goose are comingto live with us at Ravenstone
(10:38):
Castle, paid for by risingRenaissance fair admission fees.
Mother Goose and Lady Trishhugged and as everyone hugged
and cried tears of joy.
Peggy helped them get settledin the stagecoach.
Sir Cletus gave Peggy hisbusiness card and asked her to
call and discuss a goosetranslator job opportunity for
(11:03):
the Renaissance Fair.
The stagecoach rolled down theroad, now carrying an even
larger, happier family.
Peggy turned back to see UncleChip and Aunt Claire standing in
front of the line of cars.
Aunt Claire spoke first Sweetie, you brought those families
(11:26):
together.
If you hadn't been here totranslate.
She ran up and gave Peggy a bighug.
I am so proud of you.
While getting squeezed by hermother, peggy saw Uncle Chip,
stoic as always, looking at her.
Peggy's face fell and shebraced for the worst.
(11:48):
Yes, dad.
But Uncle Chip walked up to her, gave her a big hug and said
Mon Dieu, which is Spanish, forI am proud of you too.
The end I hope you enjoyed thestory and just to let you know,
(12:13):
I'm making some changes ingeneral to discount story time,
but the podcast is going to staytwice weekly like it is, but
we'll also be offering thesestories as a blog and
potentially an email newsletterfor anyone that might be
interested.
And if you have an interest orhave ideas, please feel free to
(12:36):
contact me.
I love hearing from all of you.
My contact information is inthe show notes, but the easiest
is to email me at mail atdiscountstorytimecom.
I'm not sure what all of it'sgoing to look like, but it'll
all be housed at the websitediscountstorytimecom and I'm
(12:57):
learning my way throughWordPress now, so we'll see how
it turns out.
Yikes Blocks, and until nexttime, play nice with others, be
super duper, kind to yourselfand remember to laugh.
(13:24):
Bye, thank you.
Welcome to Episode 39 of Discount Storytime.
Literature's Finest DumpsterFire.
Today's story is Goose.
Translator.
Enjoy.
Everyone thought my cousin Peggyhad made a poor choice of
college major, but nobody washarder on her than her parents,
(00:29):
uncle Chip and Aunt Claire.
How is she going to make aliving doing that, they would
ask?
Peggy studied goose lexicologyand became fluent in goose honk.
And became fluent in goose honk.
I didn't like how Uncle Chipand Aunt Claire treated Peggy
about it, always bringing it upat family events, telling
(00:51):
everyone how their daughterwould always be poor and walking
around through theirneighborhood wearing goose
lexicology is stupid sandwichboards.
One day Peggy, uncle Chip andAunt Claire were driving home
from church.
Aunt Claire just gave a guestsermon titled Would a True
(01:13):
Christian Study Goose Lexicology?
Probably not.
Uncle Chip was busy needlingPeggy with Well, how are you
going to afford the gas to getall the way home, peggy with?
Well, how are you going toafford the gas to get all the
way home?
Is your useless degree going topay for it?
They pulled up to a long trafficline and waited, but after
about 30 minutes they hadn'tbudged.
(01:34):
There hadn't been an emergencyvehicle or police officers
either.
Peggy got out to see what wasgoing on.
Plus, she needed a break fromher parents' constant badgering.
She left her car and startedwalking up to the front of the
line of cars.
Behind her, uncle Chip and AuntClaire climbed on the car and
(01:57):
chanted Goose lexicology isstupid into bullhorns.
Peggy tightened her fists andadded some stomp to her walk.
At the front of the traffic jamwas a horse-drawn stagecoach
with its blinkers on.
Standing just outside thestagecoach was a man and a woman
(02:17):
dressed in fine medievalclothing.
The man wore a royal courtdoublet and shoulder cape and
looked quite royal indeed.
The woman wore a beautiful blue, royal velvet gown.
They carried an undeniable airof nobility, but terror froze
(02:38):
their faces, for before themstood two geese, but not just
any geese.
These geese, wearing theirtrademark little masks and
cloaks, were dreaded highwayrobbers.
They would have been cute ifnot for their razor-sharp swords
(03:02):
, glinting in the noon sun andpointed to the man and woman.
And as the old saying goes, agoose with a sharp sword is no
joke.
Both humans and geese seemed tobe at an impasse.
The humans stood frozen in fear, often looking over their
(03:23):
shoulders into the stagecoach,while the geese gave frustrated
honks.
Peggy thought maybe she coulddiffuse the situation.
So she kept a safe distance andtried talking to the geese.
Honk, honked Peggy.
This threw the geese off to beaddressed directly and they
(03:45):
lowered their little swords, butjust for a moment.
Then they honked honk, whichtranslated to these foolish
humans do not understand robbery.
Their treasure is ours.
Make them hand it over or youwill suffer the same fate.
Wench.
Peggy explained this to thepeople Carefully.
(04:09):
The man and the stagecoachdriver brought down a treasure
chest from the stagecoach andcarried it to the robber geese.
With a flick of his sword, thegander opened the chest.
Inside were gleaming gold coins, jewelry, rare gems, a few
one-dollar bills and a twentyspot.
(04:31):
The royal woman spoke there youhave our money.
Please, let us go.
Again.
She glanced back into thestagecoach, but only for a
moment.
Then the woman asked Peggy, canyou really speak, goose?
Yes, peggy answered.
Please, ask them to let us go,please, said the woman almost in
(04:57):
tears.
Peggy honked and the geesehonked back.
This went on for a while andeveryone patiently waited.
Finally Peggy spoke the geese.
Thank you for your kinddonation.
They explained to me that sincethey lost their goslings they
turned bad and have taken to alife of crime, mostly stealing
(05:20):
from the corporate fat cats whorun Renaissance Fairs, or Big
Ren as it's called.
Why, asked the man.
Peggy continued.
They had gone to the NerblyCounty Renaissance Fair with
their three goslings.
The family was having awonderful time until a large
(05:44):
crowd separated them.
The parent geese lookedeverywhere and everywhere and
tried asking for help, butnobody could understand them as
there were no hired goosetranslators.
Their goslings were gone.
They blame Renaissance fairsand since they hadn't been able
(06:06):
to get their children back, theyvowed to take down Big Wren.
The man and woman looked at eachother, then looked at the goose
parents and the man asked Praythee, ask these goose robbers
what year that was.
Was it perchance, fall of 2019?
(06:27):
Was it perchance fall of 2019?
Peggy and the geese honked backand forth for a while.
Then Peggy answered yes, fallof 2019 in Nerbly County.
Mond, you said the woman, whichis Spanish, for you ain't gonna
believe this.
(06:48):
She poked her head into thestagecoach and said children,
it's okay, can you come outplease?
And to everyone's astonishment,three young geese around school
age waddled out of thestagecoach.
Age waddled out of thestagecoach.
(07:14):
Two wore handsome little tunicsand one wore a frilly purple
dress.
Mama, mama, papa, papa.
What is happening?
Asked the young geese, honk.
Honk honked the robber geese,which is Spanish for mon dieu.
The woman spoke and Peggytranslated.
You may have heard of us.
(07:34):
This is my husband, sir CletusRavenstone III, and I am Lady
Trish Ravenstone, the royalowners of the Nerbly County
Renaissance Fair.
I remember that fateful day inthe fall of 2019.
We found three lost goslingsand we looked everywhere for
(07:59):
their parents, all day and allnight.
We must have just missed eachother.
At the same time, Sir Cletusand I were trying to start a
family, but nothing worked.
When we saw these poor lostgoslings, we just knew that fate
had brought us a family andsince then we have raised them
(08:24):
with all the love as if they areour own, with all the love, as
if they are our own.
The youngest goose asked who arehonk?
They?
Mama.
Lady Trish answered with tearsin her eyes Sweetie, these are
your parents, your birth parents.
(08:47):
Honk, said the father goose.
Yes, we understand you.
Honk, said the child geese.
Peggy's jaw dropped.
Amazing, these goose childrenstill have their natural
language of goose.
Honk and their adoptive parentshave taught them English.
(09:11):
They are bilingual geese.
The young geese were initiallytimid and kept looking back at
their adoptive parents.
But they were told it was okay.
And finally the children andgoose parents ran to each other
and hugged.
Lady Trish said we alwaysthought this day may come when
(09:37):
you find your biological parents.
Come when you find yourbiological parents.
What happens now?
She asked Honk, honk, honkedMother Goose.
She waddled up and took LadyTrish's hand.
Peggy translated Mother Goose issaying that she cannot thank
(09:57):
you enough for taking such goodcare of her babies and, as
heartbreaking as it will be forher to lose her children again,
you can afford to provide themwith a life she never could.
(10:18):
Mother Goose honked sadly andturned away.
Lady Trish gave the MotherGoose a decisive look and pulled
her back around.
No, you are not losing yourbabies again, I swear it.
You and Father Goose are comingto live with us at Ravenstone
(10:38):
Castle, paid for by risingRenaissance fair admission fees.
Mother Goose and Lady Trishhugged and as everyone hugged
and cried tears of joy.
Peggy helped them get settledin the stagecoach.
Sir Cletus gave Peggy hisbusiness card and asked her to
call and discuss a goosetranslator job opportunity for
(11:03):
the Renaissance Fair.
The stagecoach rolled down theroad, now carrying an even
larger, happier family.
Peggy turned back to see UncleChip and Aunt Claire standing in
front of the line of cars.
Aunt Claire spoke first Sweetie, you brought those families
(11:26):
together.
If you hadn't been here totranslate.
She ran up and gave Peggy a bighug.
I am so proud of you.
While getting squeezed by hermother, peggy saw Uncle Chip,
stoic as always, looking at her.
Peggy's face fell and shebraced for the worst.
(11:48):
Yes, dad.
But Uncle Chip walked up to her, gave her a big hug and said
Mon Dieu, which is Spanish, forI am proud of you too.
The end I hope you enjoyed thestory and just to let you know,
(12:13):
I'm making some changes ingeneral to discount story time,
but the podcast is going to staytwice weekly like it is, but
we'll also be offering thesestories as a blog and
potentially an email newsletterfor anyone that might be
interested.
And if you have an interest orhave ideas, please feel free to
(12:36):
contact me.
I love hearing from all of you.
My contact information is inthe show notes, but the easiest
is to email me at mail atdiscountstorytimecom.
I'm not sure what all of it'sgoing to look like, but it'll
all be housed at the websitediscountstorytimecom and I'm
(12:57):
learning my way throughWordPress now, so we'll see how
it turns out.
Yikes Blocks, and until nexttime, play nice with others, be
super duper, kind to yourselfand remember to laugh.
(13:24):
Bye, thank you.
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