Ever feel like you're on the brink of burnout? You're not alone! Striking balance between work, family, and personal life is often a challenge, especially for those in the high-stress field of education. We're excited to bring you our chat with power couple Dennis and Whitney James, seasoned educators and youth pastors. They share their journey, struggles, victories, and strategies in achieving a healthy harmony among their various roles. With over 25 years combined experience in education and youth ministry, there's a wealth of wisdom for you to tap into!
Dennis and Whitney are advocates for self-care, setting boundaries, and preserving relationships amidst the whirlwind of work and family life. They share practical tips on how to avoid educator burnout, maintain a healthy work-life balance, and preserve their marriage while working in the same demanding field. They've also found unique ways to ensure quality family time, like creating a "no phone zone" - a strategy we think everyone could benefit from!
But this episode isn't just about balance and boundaries. Their stories serve as a powerful reminder to prioritize ourselves and be intentional with our lives. This is more than just a podcast episode - it's a lifeline for those feeling overwhelmed, a beacon of hope, and a reminder that you, too, can take control of your path. So, tune in, take notes, and embrace the journey towards a healthier life with Dennis and Whitney James!
Grab a sample chapter of Dr. PBJ's new book,
Disrupting Burnout: The Professional Woman's Lifeline to Finding Purpose- https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/book
Meet Dennis and Whitney James
Whitney and Dennis both have worked in education for over 12 years and have been youth pastors for over 13 years. Coach DJ is currently the Dean of School Culture and an educator, teaching Student Leadership and Career Planning in Lake County, Florida. Dennis is also a premier keynote K-12 and ministerial speaker and a published author.
Whitney has worked with the Orange County Public Schools Mental Health Services department, one of the largest school districts in Florida, for over 4 years before becoming a high school guidance counselor at her current school in Lake County, Florida.
Together they own several successful businesses. Their passion and life's work is to equip students and teachers to take ownership of their success through resilience and leadership development.
Whitney and Dennis have been married for 12 years and have two beautiful daughters, McKenna (8 years old) and Morgan (4 years old) together. When they are not traveling for speaking engagements, they are serving faithfully at their local church and enjoy spending quality time with their family.
Connect with Dennis and Whitney
● Website- coachdjinspires.net
● Plain Vision Digital- www.plainvisiongigital.com
● The Dream Again Tour- https://www.thedreamagaintour.com/
Connect with Dr. PBJ
● To connect with Dr. PBJ, go to https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/speaking
● Do you need a dynamic transformational speaker? Dr. PBJ is ready to serve. Check out Dr. PBJ Speaks | https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/speaking
● Follow Dr. PBJ on IG @drpatricebucknerjackson for #aspoonfulofpbj.
● Support The Show | https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lovepbj?locale.x=en_US
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what August means.
And this month we want to beintentional about giving you
strategies and tools that youcan implement to not just have a
good school opening, but wewant you to sustain that piece
all the way through.
So in the month of July I havehad the honor of introducing you
(00:53):
all to educators from differentcorners of this country, with
different positions, because weare so diverse.
Some of us are faculty members,some of us are guidance
counselors, some of us areteachers in the classroom, some
of us are deans or principals orAPs or vice presidents.
We are such a diversified fieldthat I want to make sure that
(01:15):
we get some differentperspectives so that you can be
equipped.
We've come to teach you andshare with you what we have
learned, and today I have aspecial treat.
Today is the first fordisrupting burnout.
I have to tell you all that acouple weeks ago my husband and
I went to a speaker's conferenceand that could be its own
(01:36):
podcast.
It was so powerful.
But I was standing in line towalk in and this woman was
standing behind me and we juststarted talking and there was an
immediate connection.
You know how you can just feel,you just know, you know you
never met the person before butyou know that they are your
people.
You know that, like we, I hadthat feeling.
(01:58):
I had that feeling and we justhad a conversation about who we
are and what we do and eversince then we've been connected.
So today I have the honor ofintroducing you all to my new
friends, dennis and WhitneyJames.
So I'm going to read their bioand then we're going to jump
(02:18):
into it.
Whitney and Dennis both haveworked in education for over 12
years and have been youthpastors for over 13 years.
Dennis James, known as Coach DJ, is currently the Dean of
School Culture and an educatorteaching student leadership and
career planning in Lake County,florida.
(02:39):
Dennis is also a premierkeynote K-12 and ministerial
speaker and a published author.
Whitney has worked with theOrange County Public Schools
Mental Health ServicesDepartment, one of the largest
school districts in Florida, forover four years, before
becoming a high school guidancecounselor at her current school
(03:02):
in Lake County, florida.
Together, they own severalsuccessful businesses.
Their passion and life's workis to equip students and
teachers to take ownership oftheir success through resilience
and leadership development.
Whitney and Dennis have beenmarried for 12 years and have
two beautiful daughters together.
(03:23):
When they are not traveling forspeaking engagements, they are
serving faithfully at theirlocal church and enjoy spending
quality time with their family.
Dennis and Whitney, welcome toDisrupting Burnout.
Thank you so much for joiningus today.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Awesome.
It's so great for to be hereand know I am.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Yeah, thank you for
having us, dr PBJ.
It's amazing to just even behere so thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
It's amazing to have
you and to hold space with you.
Like I said, from my very firstmeeting, I knew heart knows
heart, heart knows heart.
So both of you.
I met Whitney first and then Imet Coach, and I'm here to tell
you immediately, immediately, Ifelt connected and knew you were
my people.
So thank you so much.
It's an honor and I just wantto jump right in because I know
(04:12):
you have so much to share.
Start by telling the people whoyou are.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, my name is
Dennis James.
It's Dr PBJ alluded to.
I've been in education for 12 Ibelieve going on 13 years now
and it's my passion to seestudents start at a certain
level and to help them elevateand, most importantly, prepare
them for post-secondaryeducation and their endeavors is
my passion.
(04:38):
So when it comes to K-12education, I'm all the way in.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, so I am the
school guidance counselor and we
actually teach at the same orwork at the same high school.
He's the Dean of StudentCulture and I work in guidance
as a guidance counselor.
But outside of that, as yousaid in the intro, I'm a wife,
(05:06):
I'm a mother two young girls, aneight year old and another four
year old now, and they keep usbusy and so, yeah, I'm just
excited to be here.
We run a couple of businesses,one being social media marketing
and then obviously, him withthe speaking and getting into
(05:30):
schools and kind of touchingbases with students as well as
teachers, being able to inspirethem and get them, you know,
pumped up for the year, and etc.
So we're just excited to behere.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh my goodness,
listen y'all.
If you're watching, I'm notcrying yet.
Okay, I'm not crying yet, butmy allergies are going crazy.
So if you're watching, you seeme wiping my eyes.
I've got to dive in because Ineed you all to share.
So you work at the same school,you have two little girls, you
have more than one business, youare ministers and speaker.
(06:05):
Okay, you need to talk to thepeople about how in the world,
how in the world are you doingall of those things and getting
them done?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
well, first off, let
me let me let me preface it and
say number one is not easy, soI'm not gonna, but I'm gonna
share.
It's not gonna make it seem asif it's easy, but one of the
things that I had to learn overthe years is that throughout
there are seasons throughout theentire school.
So what may be required of mefrom August to September or
August to October is going to bedifferent than what's required
(06:39):
from me.
Jane, especially when I'm inbasketball season, my wife knows
that she's probably going tocare the bulk of household
responsibilities and duties etc.
Up until about March, and fromMarch to May or to the first
half, first part of June, I pickup where she left off.
So we learn in order to balanceit.
We have to understand thatthere are seasons attached to
(07:00):
the year and that's kind ofreally been helping us a lot.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, we tag team.
You have to be friends first tomake it happen and teammates.
Sometimes, like you said, he'srunning and going here and there
, whether it's for basketball orspeaking, traveling, things
like that, or vice versa.
I have clients that I meet withand to help them with their
(07:26):
branding and social media andthings like that, so then he's
taking on the homes.
We're balancing each other outso that we can ultimately reach
our goal together, collectively.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So that's the key.
That's the key to not just bein a marriage but be in an
aligned marriage Right.
So it's not just in coachesdirection is not just about what
God is doing to him, it's notjust about what God is doing
with me.
But you all understand thatthere's a pace to it and there's
(07:58):
an alignment to it, and in theseasons where someone else needs
to show up more so that theother person can be released,
you've learned.
You've learned that dance.
You've learned that pace andhow to support each other.
And it is so critical whetheryou work at the same place or
not, whether couples are both ineducation or not.
Our gift in education is ourschedule is pretty predictable.
(08:22):
Like we are academic years, wecan kind of plan around it for
the most part.
Now we won't talk about thecovert years, but we can kind of
play and we can kind of planaround it.
We know what to expectthroughout the academic year so
that it empowers you to beproactive with your family,
right to make sure that yourhome is taken care of, that your
(08:44):
girls are taking care of andthat you're getting all the
things done right to be, becausewhat you all are carrying is
one thing.
To be in ministry with you,that's another thing.
But being Dean is also ministry.
Students bring to school theirwhole life when, when you say
(09:05):
you're an educator, peopleautomatically think oh, you got
the summers off, that's all theyknow.
They have no idea betweenguidance counselor and Dean.
You all know that thesechildren bring their entire life
with them to school andwhatever challenges your local
(09:27):
school deals with you dealingwith it in that school.
If there's homelessness, ifthere's food insecurity,
whatever the challenge is in thecommunity, that community comes
to your school and now you havesome responsibility to
responding to it and supporting.
So how, how do you manage theresponsibilities of your
(09:48):
ministry at work and yourministry while not allowing it
to infiltrate your home?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Take that, I think
honestly, to be honest with you,
and the beginning parts of ourmarriage and also in education,
we didn't have.
We didn't have kids early on.
So we about three to four yearsuntil our marriage to start
having kids and I think when ourkids came it really helped us
shape the importance of havingbalance and so understanding how
(10:22):
to leave work at work,understanding how to leave
ministry at church, you know,and so that really helped us and
once again, it is to each hisown.
So you have to learn how tonavigate based upon what your
individual lifestyle tells, butwe have to learn that over time
that the order for us to staysane, right, or the first to
(10:43):
flourish individually in ourmarriage as parents and in the
workplace we had to care whilewe were there but then we had to
leave it where we when we left.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Yeah, for me
boundaries are big.
Like I'm big on boundaries Me,I would say me more so than he
is.
He's a people person.
He look like he, you know hegravitates to people and being
there that's the you know,that's the passion that he has
for not just kids but also, youknow, just people in general,
(11:15):
and I love people too.
But I know, like I've alwaysbeen big on boundaries and you
know, this is my, this is mycore people, me, my husband, my
girls, this is my first ministry.
And if I don't hold on to this,with everything that I have,
everything else is going tocrumble and I'm going to be left
(11:35):
with with nothing.
But just keeping that in theforefront of our mind has helped
us a whole lot, I would say,you know can I jump in and say
this?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
One big thing that
helped me, really shook my
paradigm was understanding thatthese spaces outside of my
family, if I ever leave, or everdie or leave this earth,
they're going to replace mewithin two weeks, right, and so
that understanding really helpedshape.
Okay, I have to give my energyand I have to give what I'm
(12:06):
called to give in this space,but I'm I'm replaceable at my
job, right, I'm replaceable, I'mreplaceable in my ministry, but
I'm not replaceable as ahusband, as a father.
So that really helped me shiftthe paradigm of how to place
energy and what spaces need tobe placed.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
That's so good,
that's good.
That's so good, that's so good.
I telling on myself.
So I shared a little bit withyou all about how I hit burnout
real hard, and one of one of thethings that I messed up in that
I should have done better wasmy child felt like she needed to
(12:43):
make an appointment with me.
I was out here servingeverybody else's child.
I'm getting up in the middle ofthe night, going to the
hospital, going to the jail,going to the campus, doing
whatever needed to be done totake care of other people's
children and my baby felt likemy job was so important that she
needed to stay out of my way.
(13:04):
And when I hit rock bottom, whenI hit rock bottom and I was
working my way through it, oneof the things that Holy Spirit
brought to my attention is, whenyou get to heaven, you're gonna
have to stand before God by howyou love this one.
She got one mama patrice.
I'm step mom, but she calls memama patrice.
She got one mama patrice.
(13:25):
One.
Edward has one wife and beforeme and Jesus discuss anything
else that I've done.
How were you a wife to him?
How were you a mama to her?
So what you're saying, coach isso real.
It shifts our perspectivebecause I told myself I was
(13:48):
doing the Lord's work.
I was serving, I'm helpingpeople, I'm doing what I'm, I'm
helping my family and I'mhelping these people.
My perspective shift was I wasdoing too much.
I thought people needed me.
They didn't need me as much asI thought they needed me.
(14:10):
It was my need to be needed.
I gotta tell on myself causeit's gonna free somebody.
It was my need to be needed.
So I had to get my mind onstraight and decide what am I
unwilling to lose?
Where do I draw the line andsay you can take this title, you
(14:31):
can take this job, you can eventake this salary.
But here's what I'm not gonnado.
I'm not gonna lose myrelationship with God, I'm not
gonna give up my health anymore,I'm not gonna lose my marriage
and I will not lose my baby.
And I had to start makingdecisions based on those values.
I had to start behavingaccording to those values.
(14:54):
So it takes a shift.
It takes a shift to acknowledgewhat's important.
And, whitney, I love the way youdescribe those relationships
because with you having what Icall an anointing for boundaries
Like it sounds like it comeseasy for you.
Yeah, you don't struggle withthe boundaries when a coach
might have to think about it andhe might double-dutch a little
(15:17):
bit.
You come in like, nah we, good,here's the line, remember, here
it is.
But that's the beauty ofpartnership.
That's the beauty ofpartnership.
I always tell my husband I willquickly say yes.
I have to be careful because ifsomebody asks me, my first
answer is yes.
Right, my husband has ananointing for no.
(15:39):
Oh, no comes easy to him.
He don't mind.
No is his first response, andthen he'll think about it and it
might turn to a yes, but no ishis first response.
And I used to fight against thatbecause I didn't understand it.
I thought he was holding meback.
(15:59):
I thought he didn't understandwhat the Lord has called me to
do.
I'm not telling nobody business, I'm just saying what I'm
saying.
I thought, well, you just don'tunderstand.
You don't understand what theLord has called me to do.
You don't understand what thisjob requires.
You don't understand.
This is what I told myself.
But now I understand that he isa gift to me.
(16:23):
He's a gift to me.
We're not supposed to be alike.
I don't need another me, Idon't need another me.
He brings that piece of me thatI'm missing, so that both of us
can be, collectively andindividually, be everything that
we were created to be.
So I just I want to honor yourpartnership and your positions
(16:47):
in that partnership and how thebest of you comes out.
Not just it's for your family,yes, but it also helps you serve
better, it helps you show upbetter, it helps you speak
better, it helps you impactbetter, coach, because you've
got a partner who understandsboundaries and naturally,
naturally connects with thoseboundaries.
(17:09):
So y'all got a good thing goingon.
Y'all got a good thing going on.
I love it.
I love it.
So both of you, being ineducation and in the same school
, like you, work together in thesame space.
(17:30):
Talk about some things thatyou've learned about how to
preserve and protect yourmarriage, not just your family,
but outside of the girls, yourmarriage.
What have you learned aboutthat?
Hey, friend, listen, I haveexciting news for you.
So if you've been following,you know I've been writing this
(17:51):
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And guess what?
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Friend, listen, we have morework to do.
Okay, it's still going toprofessional editing.
We still need to design thebook, but I can't wait to all
(18:13):
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So there's a sample copy that Iread myself for you.
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(18:34):
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Let me know what you think Icannot wait for you to hear this
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Friend, go grab it today.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
So I would say so
this is at this particular
school that we're at.
This is our first year workingtogether.
He's been there for three, fouryears, but prior to that we did
work at another public highschool together.
So we've always kind of co-worktogether in some way, even when
(19:09):
it came to building ourbusiness, which we're really big
on entrepreneurship, and kindof helping others in that way.
So we've always been kind oftag-teaming in a way.
I think the biggest thing.
And we talked about boundaries.
But just to go a little deeperinto that, I think there's
(19:30):
layers to that.
There are boundaries when itcomes to people, which is
something that I think, like wesaid, he had more of a struggle
with in the beginning.
But there's boundaries when itcomes to ambition and business
attriming and for me that'salways been like I'm very goal
oriented, I'm very he says, I'ma pit bull.
(19:55):
When I got my mind locked intosomething, I don't let it go.
So I had to learn how to, okay,put the magma away, like at
this time of the day we have.
Well, we got picked back up onit.
But we used to have what iscalled a no phone zone, so no
business going on during acertain time of the day so that
(20:16):
we can focus more time with eachother.
It goes back to what we said inthe beginning, like it was us
before it was children, it wasus before there was a business,
it was us before there was acareer path.
So just keeping the main thing,the main thing date often, like
(20:37):
we are advocates of, let's getthe babysitter or auntie or
somebody to watch watch thegirls, because we wanna make
sure that we keep this intact.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, it's funny
because when you were saying
earlier about your need to beneeded, I think for me, early on
, being a basketball coachworking at the school and a lot
of people gravitated towards meand so I think for me, having my
(21:11):
wife work with me over thecourse of those years, it
actually helped me balance whatwas most important by being on
campus with her.
So there are even times nowwhere, because she's working,
she's a guidance counselor inhigh school.
So there are times now wherethere are certain discipline
reports that I need to get in,that I'm kind of lagging behind
in that because I'm taking careof some other responsibilities
(21:32):
from a coaching standpoint andshe'll send me an email, She'll
send me a text hey, you need toget this in.
I think that accountability forme is it's almost kind of like
in a mingling of okay, yes,we're here working together, but
in essence, once again, when weretire from this field, we're
(21:54):
still going to be together.
So let's make sure that we keepthis the foundation, so that it
intermins with everything thatwe're doing.
So I think that's the keycomponent that's really kind of
helped us.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
That's so good, and
y'all are right.
Our baby is 22.
And she has her own life, doingher own thing.
I can't tell you how many timesa week we like, have you talked
to know?
Have you talked to her?
She got the nerve to have alife, the nerve of her.
I mean, she's working full time, you know, and she's, she's
beautiful.
(22:25):
I'm so grateful, I'm so gratefulfor the child that the Lord
bless us with, because she isabsolutely phenomenal.
But this young woman has herown life and now it's us, and
I'm so glad that we always knewit was us.
I'm so glad that we neverforgot that it was us, because
(22:49):
when she moved on, we, we stilllike each other, we still, we
still enjoy each other, we stillwant to spend time together.
We, we know who we are, youknow, and even now there are
times she'll say, oh, I'm comingto visit me, like, oh, no, we
are out of town, baby.
We, we left.
We will catch you next time.
(23:12):
And it's not that we don't loveour baby.
Of course we want to see her.
It's us.
It's us.
We committed until death.
Do us part.
We made a covenant and we met.
We met that thing.
We met that thing.
So talk to people who do yourwork right.
(23:33):
So I've spoken to someclassroom teachers, but I really
need to speak to you all asadministrators and staff in a
school.
So talk about some of thosepressures of August, so some of
the things that come as you kickoff.
Now don't tell your school'sbusiness, you don't have to do
that, but just we know, wealready know, but just talk
(23:57):
about some of those pressuresthat come in August and how are
you preparing right now to walkinto August with peace?
Speaker 3 (24:08):
So I'm working year
round, so I'm still although
it's a light, obviously alighter load because students
aren't there coming into theoffice and things like that but
sending out.
I'm still meeting with parentsover the summer to help, you
know, guide, you know theirstudents or what their academic
track is.
So, you know, kind of keepingthe keeping the flow going and,
(24:33):
when it comes to communicationvia email, making sure the
students know, hey, you want to,you know, give you a countdown,
the school start, but I want togive you a countdown to school
starts so that you can startthinking about these things,
preparing for August.
I think preparation, I'm big onpreparation.
Preparation is key, evenmentally, and I was just talking
(24:54):
the other day, let's make surethat we, you know, take that one
last vacation with the girlsbecause you want to soak up as
much time as possible.
So, although we're preparing togo into August, not allowing
that preparation to take awayfrom the time that we do have,
you know, in the summertime.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I think you know from
my that was a great point.
I think from my hand I'mthinking more so on the lines of
structure and program.
So, from from my aspect, a lotof my work is disciplinary work.
So just making sure that wehave correct structure.
Structure because we're goingto have.
We were at a private school sowe have kids who are
transferring from the publicsector, which is different
(25:33):
mindset, a different culture,etc.
So we have to have structure inplace so that when they get
there we're not scratching ourheads or not scrambling
everywhere.
And then, from a programmingstandpoint, having those, those
SEL type programs to help highschools as well, with a lot of
our middle middle schools aroundlunches so they are, so they're
(25:53):
all over the place.
So having program like malementorship program and setting
up different activitiesthroughout the course of the
year so that we're not justhanding out disciplinary actions
but we have a programming thatwe can send the kids to help
redirect them, you know, modifythose behaviors.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's good.
That's good.
So what I heard, whitney, whatI heard you say, is not allow
your summer to be stolen.
Worried about August, right,and I'm so glad you spoke for
the 12 month employees, becausesometimes it feels like what I
didn't, I didn't get a break andmy answer is friend, why didn't
you take one, right?
(26:29):
So if we know that we are 12months, we've got 12 months to
stretch that pto.
We know what the academic yearlooks like, right, so we can
look now and start planning.
Okay, this is a long weekend,I'm going to take a mental
health day there, we're going togo out of town there, and that
way you got some stuff to lookforward to.
(26:50):
Right, so you can already plan.
You don't have to wait untilit's upon you and then I can't
find a sub or I don't havesomebody else in the office is
out, and you make all of theseexcuses of why you can't get the
rest time that you need, whenright now, before the semester
even starts, right now, you canlook at this academic year and
(27:11):
say I'm going to take time here,we're going to take time
together here, whitney's goingto take time by herself here,
like this is in that way.
You already know.
You know it's coming and youdon't have to like be behind the
eight ball and worried aboutwhy you're not going to get a
break.
Go ahead, sis.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Yeah, no, that's so
important.
Even when I worked on thedistrict level I just watching I
remember this story about inthe coast DJ kind of alluded to
it there was a guy who worked inour department and he was you
(27:49):
know, he was dealing with somehealth issues but he had been
with the district for likealmost 30 years.
Yeah so but, and he wasexcellent at what he did.
But over the winter break thatyear Guy rested, so he ended up
passing.
I got a text from my bosssaying all in one text Not sure
(28:11):
if you heard that Don passed.
We need to go ahead and posthis position.
All in one post.
That that thing.
It took me for a loop becauseI'm like I haven't even
processed the fact that this manwho we've spent so much time
with has just passed and nowit's like boom, we need to fill
(28:32):
his position.
I said all that to say Takeyour time, like the time that
you have that they give you,take that mental health time,
holiday time, vacation time.
Because, yes, no, we want togive our all to the, to the
position that we've been hiredfor.
We want to come up and show upfully for that, but we want to
(28:53):
also show up fully for ourselves, because if we don't, nobody
else will.
That was a life turning momentfor me when I, when I got that
text message that was lifeturning for me.
I realized then, hey, you knowthis job, you're a number like,
you're filling a position to geta job done and as a, as a, as
an entrepreneur, I get it in asense, but you want to take care
(29:17):
of yourself because no one elsewill.
So take out that time, take out.
You have your schedule.
At this point, most schoolsknow what their calendar looks
like for the upcoming year.
Start planning, start planningthat vacation time, that taking
those minutes, even if you don'tknow that you're going to have
a mental health.
You need a mental health break.
You know, you know when, whenexams are coming up, plan ahead
(29:39):
for that, you know.
So just just make sure you'retaking care.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I want to jump on
this, for we're passing.
Dr PBJ, I was.
We recently been trying to getmy daughter off of her sippy cup
and she would not go to sleep.
This is back in January.
She would not go to sleep and Iwas in the back of the cover
here about a week ago and I sawthe sippy cup and I said to
myself wow, we, we can dowithout what we think we can't
do without.
(30:05):
You know, we can do withoutwhat we think we can't do
without, and so understandingthat we can do without what we
think we can do, but they'regoing to get the job done right.
You know, from an administratorstandpoint, they're going to.
The show is going to keepmoving.
So let me do, let me take thistime for myself because at the
(30:26):
end of the day, once again, thejob is essentially going to get
done if you're there or not, andthe show is supposed to go on.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
It's supposed to
write maybe not in the same text
.
I mean, that's what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about just lastweek.
Just last week I had we had alost soul, a man who was my
student at one time and then hebecame a colleague in higher ed.
(30:54):
32 years old, he leaves workearly on a Friday to head to his
hometown and he never made it,had a tragic car accident and I
said I'm going to wait for myfriend, but I say that to say
you may not be old or older, youmay not be sick.
(31:17):
We don't know.
We don't know what this life isgoing to bring.
What are you waiting for?
Why do we keep waiting?
I'm going to wait to take thebig trip.
I'm going to wait to take aninternational trip.
I'm going to wait to take mydays.
I'm going to add all my time.
I'm going to wait for my future.
(31:39):
I'm going to keep putting itoff and waiting and waiting,
instead of living for today.
Tomorrow is not promised toanybody.
It's not promised to anybody.
They will fill his position.
They have to.
He worked in student activities.
He was associate director InAugust.
(32:05):
He was a student.
He was a student at theuniversity had to fill that.
They honestly need to fill itbefore August.
I don't know if they're able todo it, but they need that
filled in order to serve thestudents who are going to show
up in August and need that kindof support and them feeling that
(32:26):
is not a disrespect to him.
Now, here's the truth.
They'll never, they'll neverget another Paul, but somebody's
going to feel that position andsomebody's going to do the job
because we have to.
We have to.
So we've got to keep in mind,when we think about self-care,
(32:49):
when we think about taking timeoff, when we think about our
boundaries, when we think aboutbeing intentional, I always say
you are your first advocate.
If you don't value you, how doyou expect other people to value
you?
There's no superhero.
Nobody's coming to save you.
If you don't want to take yourtime, we're going to let you
work.
Friend, like, with all thethings on your plate, you don't
(33:12):
have time to look at everybodyaround.
You say you haven't taken anytime off.
You need to be the one to say Ihaven't taken any time off and,
as a matter of fact, here's mytime off plan for the next six
months.
Would you like to discuss?
Because I come back better.
I come back better after I'vehad a disconnect, after I've had
(33:36):
real rest, after I have steppedaway from the email, stepped
away from the pressure.
I come back better after I'vehad time.
So I would love for you all tospeak to people who are new in
education Folks.
Maybe this is their firstacademic year and they're
excited and they're ready to go,but they don't know what
(33:57):
they're walking into.
What piece of advice would eachof you give to new folks in
education?
Speaker 2 (34:06):
I would say this has
really been my driving force
from the beginning of educationConnection over performance.
Connection over performanceBecause I believe a lot of
especially with standards andmeeting certain coders, testing
and just so many things that thepressures that teachers in the
classroom are under.
(34:27):
And it's so easy to walk into aclassroom as a first year
teacher, second year teacher andyour mindset is focused on
numbers.
Those kids in your class cancare less about those numbers.
I've learned over the yearsthat they perform better when
you connect with them.
So when you focus on connection, it may be something that's
self-alised.
You know having a having asnack stash in your room Right
(34:49):
and making them work.
You know having a reward systemthat you're using and that
works on all levels.
I've seen high schools getexcited about snacks at the
level of a third grade All rightand so so I would say
connection over performance andyou every all the numbers and
the performances that you wantto achieve as a teacher.
They'll come as a byproduct ofthe connection.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
I Would say Bring
your full self to the table.
You being new to the positionactually brings a new energy to
your team and use that as yoursuperpower.
But also lean heavy into thosewho are seasoned so that they
can tell you have to paceyourself.
You have to pace it.
(35:30):
A lot of times we like tobecause we're new at it, we like
to just go and give our all.
But you have to pace it, youhave to pace yourself, and I'm I
know the importance ofMentorship and community.
So lean into that.
Lean into Seasoned teacherswho've been here for a while and
but still come fully asyourself, being new, with
(35:52):
innovative ideas and excitement.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
That's so good.
That's so good.
I have to.
I have to go back.
When you talk about connectionover performance, it's the
little things if they know youcare, they'll learn.
If they know you care, they'llbe open to learn.
And you talk about high schoolis being excited.
I got college students who wouldfill my office for some m&m's,
(36:17):
I mean you.
Let me tell you something.
I used to do something calledBTK day.
So I taught freshman seminar.
You know the first classeverybody's required to take it.
It teaches you how to studywhat the resources are on campus
, that kind of thing.
So I taught that every year.
Even though my research is, eventhough my role was dean of
students or vice president, Itaught it every year because it
(36:40):
kept me connected.
It kept me connected Not justthe students, because I knew the
leaders, but to freshmen.
It kept me connected tofreshmen.
And every year, at the end ofthe semester, I would do what I
call BTK day.
Back to kindergarten day.
I would bring coloring books,crayons, play-doh, cookies, milk
(37:03):
.
I would read Dr Seuss to them.
No, I'm talking about.
I'm sitting in a chair like thelibrarian.
They're sitting in front of mewith their cookies and milk and
I'm holding up the book, readingall the places you will go To
college freshmen.
I'm here to tell you they lovedit.
I Even did it with my staff acouple of times and they those
(37:28):
who would allow themselves tolay down the serious for a
minute Appreciated it becauseinside of us, all of us need a
moment.
All of us need a moment.
So it's little things.
We always think, well, I don'thave time, I can't afford it.
Friend, have you tried?
It's a little thing, it's thelittle thing.
(37:51):
So that is such good advice.
But also, whitney, you same, beyourself, shine.
This is not a time to shrink,it's not.
If you were hired, that meansthere's secret sauce in you that
they need.
They need you, they need you todo it your way.
And, yes, lean into people,learn from them, but don't
imitate.
(38:11):
Inspiration and imitation aretwo different things, and you
can be inspired by somebodywithout Imitating them, because
you'll never be a good them andthey'll never be a good you.
So that is so good that y'all,we gotta let people go.
I could talk to y'all all day.
We gotta let them go.
But before they go, I need youall to share.
(38:33):
What are all the things thatyou're offering coach.
Talk about your speaking, whatyou speak about.
Where you speak at Whitney, thebusinesses like how do people
connect with you?
How do they know more about youand what you do?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Oh, Well, my my
Instagram handle is a coach DJ
inspires across the board, sothat's Twitter, threads,
facebook.
But my main thing is resilience.
That's what I, what I'mspeaking at high schools, when
I'm speaking at different events, just teaching students and
teachers alike how to, when,when life is in you, when things
(39:09):
are not going as necessary,teaching you how to pivot, how
to lay into those moments and beable to Adapt and still excel.
So so my m?
Or is resilient, send out.
That's that's.
That's my goal everywhere I goas it relates to my speaking
engagement.
Speaker 3 (39:23):
You can follow me on
Instagram at Whitney Tysh a wide
Whitney Tashae.
My business for businessbranding is plain vision digital
.
You can visit plain visiondigital comm or you can send me
an email at plain visionbranding at gmailcom.
(39:45):
If you are looking to, you know, if those who are grassroots in
their business, looking tobrand their business, looking
for Social media managementbecause that's not everybody's
forte, but we know we have to beon social media but yeah, and
then also we are in the middleof tour right now.
(40:07):
So Dennis is and our brotherDonovan Cohen, they're doing the
dream again tour.
So we are going in partner withdifferent churches, youth
groups, cities, however, sothey're pushing the message of
(40:27):
being given people permission todream again.
I think so often we I mean youcan talk on this more than I can
but especially as adults, we wetend to Allow life to snatch
our dreams and not realizingthat the dream that's within us
is from God and so we'resupposed to lean into that.
So, yeah, you can.
You can find the informationabout dream again or, if you're
(40:50):
looking to bring coach in theteam in, for example, dream
again, the dream again tourcom.
We're also on Instagram.
So Listen.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I speak lessons over
you all.
I Speak lessons over you all.
May everything that you touchmultiply, may your home be
protected and full of peace andfull of joy, and may everything
that you need pour your way.
In the name of the Lord Jesus,and I pray that every room that
you walk into, every stage thatyou stand on, every time you
open, hold a microphone, everytime a child is sitting before
(41:29):
you, that they receive exactlywhat they need, not from you,
but from the Holy Spirit thatabides on the inside of you.
May all of your footsteps beordered as they are and
everything you touch turn to go.
I believe that.
I believe that.
I believe that, and I'm sohonored to be connected to you
all I Consider myself family.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
I just want to say
you said in the beginning, but
our connection was definitelydivine.
I believe that God Sent us tothe same conference.
And what was that?
The last day of the conferenceis when we connected.
Your story has inspired us somuch.
It has taken us.
(42:09):
From that day on, we have awhole new level of just drive
and Assurance that God is for usin this, in these pivotal moves
that we're created to make.
So I just keep doing whatyou're doing.
You are, you are amazing, youare amazing, you are a gem and
(42:30):
so, yeah, I'm excited, I'mexcited for the podcast where
this is going.
Yeah, you have family inFlorida.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Man, amen.
Well, listen, I am.
I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful.
I don't believe in coincidence.
I think everything was meant tobe and because of that I honor
it.
I honor this connection and Ihonor whatever God wants it to
be.
That's what it's gonna be.
It's good with me.
So, thank you all for the time,thank you for taking a few
minutes from the girls andeverything that you're doing to
(43:06):
share with us.
Friends, you look, you heard ithere a Few things from this
conversation.
Number one You're not boxed in.
Just because you have a title,a position, a responsibility at
work, that doesn't mean that'sthe only thing you're supposed
to do.
And Sometimes you are seekingmotivation Externally from your
(43:27):
job, and it was never meant tomotivate you.
Maybe you're the one that'ssupposed to bring the motivation
.
Maybe there's something outsideof your job that you're
supposed to be doing.
There's a passion, there's apassion, and maybe your job is
supposed to pay for that.
Maybe the purpose of your jobis to finance and fuel the
passion and the purpose that Godhas assigned you to.
(43:48):
And Whitney and Coach DJ theyare witnesses, they are examples
and just like he did it forthem, he'll do it for you.
You are not boxed in, you're notstuck.
You're not stuck.
Stop depending on your school,your school district, your
college, your university tobring you peace.
It's not their role.
(44:08):
You take the peace with you,you take the motivation with you
.
You take the purpose with you,you take your why with you.
They need you to show up fully.
So I hope your heart isencouraged.
I really, and I know it is, Iknow it is so, as always, you
are powerful, you aresignificant and you are loved.
(44:32):
Love always.
Pbj.
Bye y'all.