September 18, 2024 • 25 mins
Hey Friend,
Have you ever wondered if burnout is more about being out of sync with your job than just having too much on your plate? This week, join me, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, as we dive deep into the concept that alignment might be key to understanding and overcoming burnout.
In this episode titled "The Role Fit: Navigating Career Transitions to Prevent Burnout," I share personal stories from my own career transitions, including a pivotal move from an associate registrar to a hall director. This shift revealed a critical lesson: success in one role doesn’t always translate to fulfillment in another. We'll explore how our roles and ambitions evolve over time and the importance of recognizing when we’ve outgrown a position that once seemed like the perfect fit.
Moreover, we’ll discuss how leveraging technology to automate routine tasks can significantly prevent burnout. By freeing up time for more engaging and fulfilling activities, employees can focus on work that maximizes their brilliance, leading to greater job satisfaction.
This episode is packed with insights on how to ensure your professional commitments resonate with your strengths and how to thrive by operating within your zone of brilliance. Whether you’re reassessing your current role or considering a new career path, this conversation will provide you with practical strategies for managing burnout and realigning your professional life with your passions.
Tune in to gain a fresh perspective on career fulfillment and actionable advice on how to make your work life more purpose-driven and satisfying.
Love Always,
PBJ
Upgrade to Premium Membership to access the Disrupting Burnout audiobook and other bonus content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1213895/supporters/new
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Friend, this has come up several times in the last
couple of weeks in conversation,so I just want to share it with
you all, because I think morepeople may be struggling with
this.
Your burnout may not be becauseof the number of things that
you're doing.
Your burnout may be because ofthe quality of what you're doing
(00:23):
, the fit of what you're doing.
Are you burnt out becauseyou're trying to fit yourself
into a role or a job that nolonger fits you?
Come on, friend, let's talkabout it.
I don't know about you, friend,but my career path has not been
(01:05):
linear.
It has not been from one levelto another or one step of the
ladder to the next.
There have been dips andvalleys and mountains and
spirals and all the things, andit's all been on purpose.
And specifically concerning ourconversation today, well, you
(01:27):
know what?
First of all, if you're newhere, I am Dr Patrice
Buckner-Jackson, but you cancall me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
continuing to live through theconsequences of burnout.
(01:48):
And today I want to talk to youso that you can consider if
you're overwhelmed.
Maybe you're not in burnout,maybe you're in surviving mode.
Maybe you're in overwhelm, ormaybe you truly are in burnout
overwhelmed, or maybe you trulyare in burnout.
(02:08):
I want you to consider if yourburning out is as a result of
forcing yourself to try to fitinto a position that no longer
fits you or that never fits youin the first place.
So when I consider my careerpath, there are several places
that I can look back and saythat wasn't a fit for me.
(02:28):
That was not where I wassupposed to be or where my
brilliance shines the most, andsometimes it's because I grew
out of the position andsometimes it's because it just
wasn't the best fit for me.
The first example that comes tomind, and so just to give you
(02:49):
some background, if you followmy career at all, I worked in
student affairs as a student andthen my first professional
position on a campus was inenrollment management and what
we call the registrar's office.
So I served as associateregistrar and then I decided to
(03:10):
transition back into studentaffairs.
I missed being face-to-facewith the students and walking
with them through their careeras a student and through their
life things and all the things.
So the way that I knew to dothat was to take a entry-level
(03:31):
student affairs position.
Now, whether that was the bestdecision or not, I could look
back on it now and say, oh, thatwas probably another way, but
at that point in my life and inmy career it felt like the best
thing to do.
So I went from associateregistrar to a residence hall
director, so literally movingout of my own place, moving onto
(03:54):
campus into an apartmentsupervising RAs and living in
the building with students.
Okay, so I did this for about ayear before I was promoted
again within student affairs.
So it was my re-entry point.
But what was interesting aboutthis re-entry point?
(04:14):
Although I loved being back withmy students I loved working
with my RAs, I really struggledin the position as a hall
director.
Now, I had served as a halldirector before and was fine,
but this time I really struggled.
I really struggled with thedeadlines and I really struggled
(04:36):
with just different parts ofthe job everything except
relating to my students and tothe point where this is probably
the only time in my career thatI can remember that a
supervisor kind of sat me downand said, hey, what's going on
right?
Because it wasn't going well.
I knew it wasn't going well.
She knew it wasn't going well,but neither one of us could
(04:57):
really put our finger on whatthe problem was.
So, within that span of time, aposition opened within student
affairs and student conduct atthat same institution and I
thought this is what I need,like I need to apply for this
director's position.
(05:17):
And I was nervous about talkingto my supervisor about it,
cause, again, I knew that I wasstruggling in my current
position, so I wasn't sure whatshe would say.
But I wanted to talk to herabout it and I was kind of
excited about it because it feltlike more of a fit for who I
was and the experience that Ihad.
So I went to her and I said hey, I think I'm going to apply for
(05:41):
this position.
I think it's going to be a goodfit for my experience and who I
am and what I need right now.
And her response was and Idon't remember her exact words,
but the response was well,you're struggling as a hall
director.
How in the world do you thinkyou're going to handle being a
(06:02):
director?
Now?
On the surface, I get it right.
I get it.
You're looking in the face ofsomeone who's struggling with
seemingly the little things andthey want to walk into a higher
position.
So I don't believe that shemeant any ill will or ill intent
(06:22):
.
But what she did not realize ismy struggle was not that I was
not capable.
My struggle was I was trying toforce myself into a position
that I had grown out of.
I had already served as a halldirector before.
Right, I had worked my way upto associate registrar and then
(06:46):
came back and this is not anexcuse for not doing a good job
right, like, all of the majorthings were covered, but it was
just a struggle Like why am Istruggling in this position?
I know how to do this, but thetruth of the matter is I was
struggling because it was nolonger a fit.
I was craving something morechallenging.
(07:08):
I was craving deeperconversations.
I was craving being at thetable and helping to chart the
direction and not just carryingout the direction.
I had had a taste of that forseveral years before I came back
to a position where I was kindof just doing what they told me
to do.
(07:28):
I didn't see a lot of autonomy.
I didn't see a lot of area forgrowth.
I didn't see a lot of room forme to share and do the things
that I was equipped to do and itwas really shutting me down.
So I get why she gave thefeedback that she got.
But now, being on the other sideof that, I understand that my
(07:53):
struggles in that entry levelposition was not that I couldn't
do it.
It was because I had outgrownit.
I had skills, knowledge,experience that was beyond the
level that I was walking in andI needed a new challenge.
Sometimes your struggle is notlaziness, it's not lack of
(08:14):
knowledge or skill.
It is because you need a newchallenge.
So I went on and I did applyfor that higher level position
and I got that higher levelposition and I found myself
thriving again.
And it wasn't because the halldirector position was bad.
There was nothing wrong with it.
(08:35):
I really enjoyed my opportunityserving as a hall director.
But at that point in my life andat that point in my career I
had outgrown the position.
There was no longer that deepjoy and value for me in that
position because I had knownsomething more.
(08:57):
I had become accustomed tobeing a part of charting the
course instead of being theperson to walk out the chart
right.
So I'm saying all that to saywhen you have outgrown a
position, you may begin to feellike you're just surviving, that
(09:21):
you're overwhelmed, that you'reburnt out, and if you're not
careful you'll think, oh, it'sbecause I have all this stuff to
do.
But if you're honest withyourself, the things that you
actually have to do you couldjust do in your sleep.
It's not that you're beingchallenged by what's on your
(09:45):
plate, and it's not even thatyou have too many things or too
many responsibilities on yourplate, necessarily.
It may be because you're notbeing challenged.
It reminds me of a child who'sin a classroom and they may be
acting out because they're bored.
They may be acting out becausethey're not being challenged.
(10:07):
And if you give that child achallenge, all of a sudden that
acting out goes away.
You know?
Another thing comes to mind,another little metaphor, as I'm
preparing to speak at a galathis week.
I love to dress up.
Y'all Love to dress up.
You hear me Give me all thesequins and the makeup and all
(10:28):
the stuff, like I love it.
So I'm very excited.
I'm very excited that I get todress up this week.
And because I love to dress up,I have a few options already in
my closet.
I did not have to go shopping.
Okay, I have about four dressoptions in my closet and there
(10:49):
was one in particular that Iwant to wear.
There's one in particular thatI want to wear because it's a
long particular that I want towear, because it's a long gown
and I don't want to fight withmy shoes while I'm speaking.
So with this long gown I couldwear, you know, whatever comfy
shoe that I need to, and nobodywill ever see it because the
gown's so long.
So, anyway, I want to wear thislong gown.
(11:11):
But, friend, this long gown wasfrom several seasons ago and it
was beautiful then.
Oh, I got so many complimentsthen.
But when I tell you I need togive this sister away, when I
tell you her season is up, as Ihave tried to, as I have tried
to press myself into that gownthis week, it was like no, ma'am
(11:36):
, what we're not going to do isthis so when you are in a
position that is no longer a fit, it's like putting on that
dress that you know is too tight.
You can't get it zipped up.
And if you do get it zipped up,you can't breathe.
You might get it on, but youwon't be able to move like you
(11:56):
need to move.
You won't be able to serve likeyou need to serve, you won't be
able to make an impact like youneed to make impact, because
it's just not a good fit.
It doesn't mean there'sanything wrong with the job.
As a matter of fact, you mayhave loved the job at some point
(12:17):
, but at this point in your lifeand in your career, it's just
not a good fit anymore.
So what do you do when it'sjust not a good fit anymore?
Well, one of the things youmight want to think about is is
it time to look?
Now?
Everybody calm down, because Iknow that, as especially
(12:39):
supervisors, you're listening tothis like PBJ don't tell my
people to leave.
Don't tell them and I'm nottelling them to leave but I also
want you to recognize that ifwe really care about our people,
we will care enough to let themgo when it's time for them to
go.
Do not try to hold somebodylonger than you should If you
(13:02):
know what you have to offer themis not a fit for what they need
.
Care more for the person thanfor what they do for you and let
them go.
Help them go.
Help them go.
You don't want to stay in thesame position beyond the point
(13:25):
that it's a fit.
So why would we want others todo that just because they're
doing a good job for us?
So is it time to explore?
Is it time to be open?
I'm not saying you got to do afull-fledged search, but is it
time to update your CV and yourresume?
Is it time to update that coverletter and just be curious,
(13:47):
just know what's out there?
It may not be time to leave.
Maybe it's time for a newchallenge.
Is there an opportunity to givethat staff member, that team
member, a new project that wouldstretch them?
Now here's the thing,supervisor If you're giving them
a new project that will stretchthem, you may need to give them
(14:09):
some help to take some otherthings off their plate, because
what we do over and over inhigher education is the reward
for doing good is more good todo, the reward for doing well is
more work.
So, in giving them a newchallenge, how can you assign a
(14:31):
graduate assistant, an intern, acolleague, somebody to take
something off their plate sothat they even have capacity for
the challenge?
So think about it.
Is it a new project?
Is it a new committee?
Is it a new event?
Is it a new strategic plan.
Is there something that youcould give the team member that
(14:53):
would challenge them while alsotaking something else off their
plate that doesn't challengethem?
Another way that you can help aperson grow is is there a part
of your responsibility?
Now listen to this.
Is there a part of yourresponsibility?
(15:13):
Is there a room you can invitethem into, a meeting that they
can join you at, a part of yourjob that you can train them on
and expose them to?
And here's the thing thecommunication around this is so
important because I've heardpeople feel like gosh, I'm doing
his job or her job withoutbeing paid their salary.
(15:37):
Right, and I get that.
That feels that feels likeyou're being used.
I think this is different.
I think having the conversationto say I recognize you are
ready for more.
I recognize that you are notbeing challenged in your current
position and your currentresponsibilities and I would
(15:59):
like to support you in helpingyou prepare for the next.
I may not have a pay increase.
I don't have another positionyet.
However, what I do have is thispart of my job that I would
like to train you on, expose you, to walk with you through.
Are you open to that?
(16:19):
Is that something that you'rewilling to participate in, to
prepare you for whatever yournext is.
The communication is important.
Don't allow somebody to assumethat you're just giving away
your job and yourresponsibilities.
Help them understand and letthem buy in to say, yes, I'm in,
(16:39):
I would love this training, Iwould love this exposure.
Yes, please help me prepare forwhat's next.
Or allow them to say thank youfor the offer, but that's just
not what I need right now.
Who is it for?
Who's the benefit for?
Is it for the team member or isit for you as a supervisor?
So those just a few things thatyou can do.
(17:01):
You can support them in beingopen and curious and exploring
to see what's out there.
You can give them a newchallenge right While taking
something else so that they havecapacity, and there are many
creative ways to take somethingelse without having to hire a
new person Y'all.
(17:22):
Sometimes we need to automate orgive it to technology.
Sometimes we have very equipped, intelligent, impactful people
doing things that technologycould do for us, and their hands
could be freed to really bechallenged and do the thing that
lights them up.
(17:43):
So be creative and critical.
Take that employee into a roomwith a whiteboard and write out
all the things that they havegoing on right now.
Just list them.
List everything that's on theirplate, list everything that's
on their list and go throughthat and determine okay, here
are the things that challengeyou, that need your specific
(18:05):
expertise.
Here are the things that youhave picked up that are either
not your job, that someone elsecould be doing, or that we could
automate and no person has todo.
Help clear the capacity so thatyour valued employee can have a
new challenge put on theirplate right.
(18:28):
So we want to acknowledge whenfolks are struggling, sometimes
it's not because of any otherreason except it's just not a
fit anymore and you can make,let's say, alterations.
You can make adjustments in thecurrent job to help them feel
more fulfilled and maybe thatmight help long-term or maybe it
(18:52):
can support them as they figureout what their next step is.
But the goal is for your valuedteam members to feel valued and
to know the value that theybring to the team.
Another situation in my careerwhere I believe it wasn't a good
(19:17):
fit that the lack of fit led meto burnout the burnout story
that you all hear me and haveheard me share over and over and
over.
I was serving as vice presidentof student affairs and I don't
believe that it was thatparticular position that led me
(19:40):
to burnout.
But I truly believe if I wereto serve on a campus again and
I'm not against that, as amatter of fact, it could be, you
know, anytime.
I love what I'm doing, I'mgrateful for what I'm doing, I
hope I'm able to do this for along time and if the right
position, if the rightopportunity came along to allow
(20:03):
me to serve students again, I'dbe right back on somebody's
campus.
Let's, I would say, if I wereto take a vice president's
position again, it would have tobe the position that would
allow me to be boots on theground with the students as well
(20:28):
as serving the executiveposition, and I think those are
few and far between.
The reason why I found myself inrock bottom burnout is because
my heart longed and I tried toas much as I could be in both
places, and in that particularplace at that particular time.
(20:52):
I wasn't able to do that well.
I wasn't able to sit around theexecutive table and be there
and spend my time there and bewith my team and my staff and my
students as much as my heartdesired.
So the fit problem wasn'tnecessarily the position, maybe
(21:16):
because when I went back asassociate vice president it was
a much better fit, a much betterfit, and I still had that
impact at the executive table.
I had a leader that recognizedmy experience and my skills and
allowed me and invited me tothose executive tables, even
though I was AV VP.
(21:37):
But the majority of my time wasspent boots on the ground with
my students and with my team.
And when I tell you that's whatI love, listen, somebody hear me
.
When I tell you that's whatlights me up, when I can be
boots on the ground with mypeople, training them,
supporting them, walking withthem, when students can drop by
(22:00):
and hang out on their lunchtime,and then I have to kick them
out because I have meetings andthey think my whole day is to
hang out with them, but I haveto tell them they have to leave
now.
That's what I love.
That's what I love.
That's oh my gosh, that's whatI love.
So I recognize that even thepromotion may not be the best
(22:22):
fit.
I have recognized that, eventhough we teach, keep climbing
the ladder, keep climbing theladder, keep climbing the ladder
.
Sometimes you found your fitand you don't need to climb
anymore.
Now, if it's a money issue,there are many ways that you can
make extra money to make surethat your family is taken care
of, that your lifestyle is takencare of.
(22:43):
Don't climb the ladder just formoney.
Don't climb the ladder just forthe title or just for the
salary.
If you climb the ladder, knowthat you are moving within your
brilliance.
Know that you are moving withinyour fit.
Do not go to another level justbecause it's culturally
appropriate, just because peopleare telling you that's the next
(23:07):
best thing.
You go to the next levelbecause you know it is a fit for
your heart.
It is a fit for your brilliance.
It is what you need and alsowhat people need from you.
Success is no longer the levelof the position that I made it
to, not according to PBJ.
Let me give y'all a spoonful ofPBJ.
(23:28):
Success is I am maximizingbrilliance all over my life and
when I look around at theresponsibilities that I have,
when I look around at theresponsibilities that I have,
when I look around at the peoplethat I serve, at the job that I
do, I can truly say that I'mexactly where I'm supposed to be
and I was made for this.
(23:51):
That's it.
That's success.
I was made for this.
I'm doing exactly what I wascreated and specifically
assigned to do.
That is success.
So, when you find yourselfoverwhelmed, when you find
yourself in burnout, I want youto ask yourself some questions.
(24:14):
Is this job a good fit for me?
Is it still a good fit?
Is the new opportunity going tobe a good fit for who I am and
the brilliance that I bring?
Friend, high functioning, highlyintelligent, highly
(24:37):
accomplished women specificallypeople, but specifically women.
You don't struggle because yougot a lot going on.
Friend.
What I've learned is you alwaysgoing to have a lot going on.
Your calendar is always goingto be full and you're always
going to have a lot going on.
It's not just that you have alot going on, it is what you are
(25:01):
doing.
What is the allot, what are thethings you are dedicating your
time to, and are they a fit withyour brilliance?
All right, friend.
Like I said, this has come upseveral times in conversations
over the last couple of weeks.
So I say you know what thattells me.
More people need to hear it.
(25:22):
So there you have it.
This has come up several timesin conversations over the last
couple of weeks.
So I say you know what thattells me.
More people need to hear it.
So there you have it.
Make sure it's a fit friend.
As always, you are powerful,you are significant, you are
brilliant and you are love, lovealways, friend PBJ.
Friend, this has come up several times in the last
couple of weeks in conversation,so I just want to share it with
you all, because I think morepeople may be struggling with
this.
Your burnout may not be becauseof the number of things that
you're doing.
Your burnout may be because ofthe quality of what you're doing
(00:23):
, the fit of what you're doing.
Are you burnt out becauseyou're trying to fit yourself
into a role or a job that nolonger fits you?
Come on, friend, let's talkabout it.
I don't know about you, friend,but my career path has not been
(01:05):
linear.
It has not been from one levelto another or one step of the
ladder to the next.
There have been dips andvalleys and mountains and
spirals and all the things, andit's all been on purpose.
And specifically concerning ourconversation today, well, you
(01:27):
know what?
First of all, if you're newhere, I am Dr Patrice
Buckner-Jackson, but you cancall me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
continuing to live through theconsequences of burnout.
(01:48):
And today I want to talk to youso that you can consider if
you're overwhelmed.
Maybe you're not in burnout,maybe you're in surviving mode.
Maybe you're in overwhelm, ormaybe you truly are in burnout
overwhelmed, or maybe you trulyare in burnout.
(02:08):
I want you to consider if yourburning out is as a result of
forcing yourself to try to fitinto a position that no longer
fits you or that never fits youin the first place.
So when I consider my careerpath, there are several places
that I can look back and saythat wasn't a fit for me.
(02:28):
That was not where I wassupposed to be or where my
brilliance shines the most, andsometimes it's because I grew
out of the position andsometimes it's because it just
wasn't the best fit for me.
The first example that comes tomind, and so just to give you
(02:49):
some background, if you followmy career at all, I worked in
student affairs as a student andthen my first professional
position on a campus was inenrollment management and what
we call the registrar's office.
So I served as associateregistrar and then I decided to
(03:10):
transition back into studentaffairs.
I missed being face-to-facewith the students and walking
with them through their careeras a student and through their
life things and all the things.
So the way that I knew to dothat was to take a entry-level
(03:31):
student affairs position.
Now, whether that was the bestdecision or not, I could look
back on it now and say, oh, thatwas probably another way, but
at that point in my life and inmy career it felt like the best
thing to do.
So I went from associateregistrar to a residence hall
director, so literally movingout of my own place, moving onto
(03:54):
campus into an apartmentsupervising RAs and living in
the building with students.
Okay, so I did this for about ayear before I was promoted
again within student affairs.
So it was my re-entry point.
But what was interesting aboutthis re-entry point?
(04:14):
Although I loved being back withmy students I loved working
with my RAs, I really struggledin the position as a hall
director.
Now, I had served as a halldirector before and was fine,
but this time I really struggled.
I really struggled with thedeadlines and I really struggled
(04:36):
with just different parts ofthe job everything except
relating to my students and tothe point where this is probably
the only time in my career thatI can remember that a
supervisor kind of sat me downand said, hey, what's going on
right?
Because it wasn't going well.
I knew it wasn't going well.
She knew it wasn't going well,but neither one of us could
(04:57):
really put our finger on whatthe problem was.
So, within that span of time, aposition opened within student
affairs and student conduct atthat same institution and I
thought this is what I need,like I need to apply for this
director's position.
(05:17):
And I was nervous about talkingto my supervisor about it,
cause, again, I knew that I wasstruggling in my current
position, so I wasn't sure whatshe would say.
But I wanted to talk to herabout it and I was kind of
excited about it because it feltlike more of a fit for who I
was and the experience that Ihad.
So I went to her and I said hey, I think I'm going to apply for
(05:41):
this position.
I think it's going to be a goodfit for my experience and who I
am and what I need right now.
And her response was and Idon't remember her exact words,
but the response was well,you're struggling as a hall
director.
How in the world do you thinkyou're going to handle being a
(06:02):
director?
Now?
On the surface, I get it right.
I get it.
You're looking in the face ofsomeone who's struggling with
seemingly the little things andthey want to walk into a higher
position.
So I don't believe that shemeant any ill will or ill intent
(06:22):
.
But what she did not realize ismy struggle was not that I was
not capable.
My struggle was I was trying toforce myself into a position
that I had grown out of.
I had already served as a halldirector before.
Right, I had worked my way upto associate registrar and then
(06:46):
came back and this is not anexcuse for not doing a good job
right, like, all of the majorthings were covered, but it was
just a struggle Like why am Istruggling in this position?
I know how to do this, but thetruth of the matter is I was
struggling because it was nolonger a fit.
I was craving something morechallenging.
(07:08):
I was craving deeperconversations.
I was craving being at thetable and helping to chart the
direction and not just carryingout the direction.
I had had a taste of that forseveral years before I came back
to a position where I was kindof just doing what they told me
to do.
(07:28):
I didn't see a lot of autonomy.
I didn't see a lot of area forgrowth.
I didn't see a lot of room forme to share and do the things
that I was equipped to do and itwas really shutting me down.
So I get why she gave thefeedback that she got.
But now, being on the other sideof that, I understand that my
(07:53):
struggles in that entry levelposition was not that I couldn't
do it.
It was because I had outgrownit.
I had skills, knowledge,experience that was beyond the
level that I was walking in andI needed a new challenge.
Sometimes your struggle is notlaziness, it's not lack of
(08:14):
knowledge or skill.
It is because you need a newchallenge.
So I went on and I did applyfor that higher level position
and I got that higher levelposition and I found myself
thriving again.
And it wasn't because the halldirector position was bad.
There was nothing wrong with it.
(08:35):
I really enjoyed my opportunityserving as a hall director.
But at that point in my life andat that point in my career I
had outgrown the position.
There was no longer that deepjoy and value for me in that
position because I had knownsomething more.
(08:57):
I had become accustomed tobeing a part of charting the
course instead of being theperson to walk out the chart
right.
So I'm saying all that to saywhen you have outgrown a
position, you may begin to feellike you're just surviving, that
(09:21):
you're overwhelmed, that you'reburnt out, and if you're not
careful you'll think, oh, it'sbecause I have all this stuff to
do.
But if you're honest withyourself, the things that you
actually have to do you couldjust do in your sleep.
It's not that you're beingchallenged by what's on your
(09:45):
plate, and it's not even thatyou have too many things or too
many responsibilities on yourplate, necessarily.
It may be because you're notbeing challenged.
It reminds me of a child who'sin a classroom and they may be
acting out because they're bored.
They may be acting out becausethey're not being challenged.
(10:07):
And if you give that child achallenge, all of a sudden that
acting out goes away.
You know?
Another thing comes to mind,another little metaphor, as I'm
preparing to speak at a galathis week.
I love to dress up.
Y'all Love to dress up.
You hear me Give me all thesequins and the makeup and all
(10:28):
the stuff, like I love it.
So I'm very excited.
I'm very excited that I get todress up this week.
And because I love to dress up,I have a few options already in
my closet.
I did not have to go shopping.
Okay, I have about four dressoptions in my closet and there
(10:49):
was one in particular that Iwant to wear.
There's one in particular thatI want to wear because it's a
long particular that I want towear, because it's a long gown
and I don't want to fight withmy shoes while I'm speaking.
So with this long gown I couldwear, you know, whatever comfy
shoe that I need to, and nobodywill ever see it because the
gown's so long.
So, anyway, I want to wear thislong gown.
(11:11):
But, friend, this long gown wasfrom several seasons ago and it
was beautiful then.
Oh, I got so many complimentsthen.
But when I tell you I need togive this sister away, when I
tell you her season is up, as Ihave tried to, as I have tried
to press myself into that gownthis week, it was like no, ma'am
(11:36):
, what we're not going to do isthis so when you are in a
position that is no longer a fit, it's like putting on that
dress that you know is too tight.
You can't get it zipped up.
And if you do get it zipped up,you can't breathe.
You might get it on, but youwon't be able to move like you
(11:56):
need to move.
You won't be able to serve likeyou need to serve, you won't be
able to make an impact like youneed to make impact, because
it's just not a good fit.
It doesn't mean there'sanything wrong with the job.
As a matter of fact, you mayhave loved the job at some point
(12:17):
, but at this point in your lifeand in your career, it's just
not a good fit anymore.
So what do you do when it'sjust not a good fit anymore?
Well, one of the things youmight want to think about is is
it time to look?
Now?
Everybody calm down, because Iknow that, as especially
(12:39):
supervisors, you're listening tothis like PBJ don't tell my
people to leave.
Don't tell them and I'm nottelling them to leave but I also
want you to recognize that ifwe really care about our people,
we will care enough to let themgo when it's time for them to
go.
Do not try to hold somebodylonger than you should If you
(13:02):
know what you have to offer themis not a fit for what they need
.
Care more for the person thanfor what they do for you and let
them go.
Help them go.
Help them go.
You don't want to stay in thesame position beyond the point
(13:25):
that it's a fit.
So why would we want others todo that just because they're
doing a good job for us?
So is it time to explore?
Is it time to be open?
I'm not saying you got to do afull-fledged search, but is it
time to update your CV and yourresume?
Is it time to update that coverletter and just be curious,
(13:47):
just know what's out there?
It may not be time to leave.
Maybe it's time for a newchallenge.
Is there an opportunity to givethat staff member, that team
member, a new project that wouldstretch them?
Now here's the thing,supervisor If you're giving them
a new project that will stretchthem, you may need to give them
(14:09):
some help to take some otherthings off their plate, because
what we do over and over inhigher education is the reward
for doing good is more good todo, the reward for doing well is
more work.
So, in giving them a newchallenge, how can you assign a
(14:31):
graduate assistant, an intern, acolleague, somebody to take
something off their plate sothat they even have capacity for
the challenge?
So think about it.
Is it a new project?
Is it a new committee?
Is it a new event?
Is it a new strategic plan.
Is there something that youcould give the team member that
(14:53):
would challenge them while alsotaking something else off their
plate that doesn't challengethem?
Another way that you can help aperson grow is is there a part
of your responsibility?
Now listen to this.
Is there a part of yourresponsibility?
(15:13):
Is there a room you can invitethem into, a meeting that they
can join you at, a part of yourjob that you can train them on
and expose them to?
And here's the thing thecommunication around this is so
important because I've heardpeople feel like gosh, I'm doing
his job or her job withoutbeing paid their salary.
(15:37):
Right, and I get that.
That feels that feels likeyou're being used.
I think this is different.
I think having the conversationto say I recognize you are
ready for more.
I recognize that you are notbeing challenged in your current
position and your currentresponsibilities and I would
(15:59):
like to support you in helpingyou prepare for the next.
I may not have a pay increase.
I don't have another positionyet.
However, what I do have is thispart of my job that I would
like to train you on, expose you, to walk with you through.
Are you open to that?
(16:19):
Is that something that you'rewilling to participate in, to
prepare you for whatever yournext is.
The communication is important.
Don't allow somebody to assumethat you're just giving away
your job and yourresponsibilities.
Help them understand and letthem buy in to say, yes, I'm in,
(16:39):
I would love this training, Iwould love this exposure.
Yes, please help me prepare forwhat's next.
Or allow them to say thank youfor the offer, but that's just
not what I need right now.
Who is it for?
Who's the benefit for?
Is it for the team member or isit for you as a supervisor?
So those just a few things thatyou can do.
(17:01):
You can support them in beingopen and curious and exploring
to see what's out there.
You can give them a newchallenge right While taking
something else so that they havecapacity, and there are many
creative ways to take somethingelse without having to hire a
new person Y'all.
(17:22):
Sometimes we need to automate orgive it to technology.
Sometimes we have very equipped, intelligent, impactful people
doing things that technologycould do for us, and their hands
could be freed to really bechallenged and do the thing that
lights them up.
(17:43):
So be creative and critical.
Take that employee into a roomwith a whiteboard and write out
all the things that they havegoing on right now.
Just list them.
List everything that's on theirplate, list everything that's
on their list and go throughthat and determine okay, here
are the things that challengeyou, that need your specific
(18:05):
expertise.
Here are the things that youhave picked up that are either
not your job, that someone elsecould be doing, or that we could
automate and no person has todo.
Help clear the capacity so thatyour valued employee can have a
new challenge put on theirplate right.
(18:28):
So we want to acknowledge whenfolks are struggling, sometimes
it's not because of any otherreason except it's just not a
fit anymore and you can make,let's say, alterations.
You can make adjustments in thecurrent job to help them feel
more fulfilled and maybe thatmight help long-term or maybe it
(18:52):
can support them as they figureout what their next step is.
But the goal is for your valuedteam members to feel valued and
to know the value that theybring to the team.
Another situation in my careerwhere I believe it wasn't a good
(19:17):
fit that the lack of fit led meto burnout the burnout story
that you all hear me and haveheard me share over and over and
over.
I was serving as vice presidentof student affairs and I don't
believe that it was thatparticular position that led me
(19:40):
to burnout.
But I truly believe if I wereto serve on a campus again and
I'm not against that, as amatter of fact, it could be, you
know, anytime.
I love what I'm doing, I'mgrateful for what I'm doing, I
hope I'm able to do this for along time and if the right
position, if the rightopportunity came along to allow
(20:03):
me to serve students again, I'dbe right back on somebody's
campus.
Let's, I would say, if I wereto take a vice president's
position again, it would have tobe the position that would
allow me to be boots on theground with the students as well
(20:28):
as serving the executiveposition, and I think those are
few and far between.
The reason why I found myself inrock bottom burnout is because
my heart longed and I tried toas much as I could be in both
places, and in that particularplace at that particular time.
(20:52):
I wasn't able to do that well.
I wasn't able to sit around theexecutive table and be there
and spend my time there and bewith my team and my staff and my
students as much as my heartdesired.
So the fit problem wasn'tnecessarily the position, maybe
(21:16):
because when I went back asassociate vice president it was
a much better fit, a much betterfit, and I still had that
impact at the executive table.
I had a leader that recognizedmy experience and my skills and
allowed me and invited me tothose executive tables, even
though I was AV VP.
(21:37):
But the majority of my time wasspent boots on the ground with
my students and with my team.
And when I tell you that's whatI love, listen, somebody hear me
.
When I tell you that's whatlights me up, when I can be
boots on the ground with mypeople, training them,
supporting them, walking withthem, when students can drop by
(22:00):
and hang out on their lunchtime,and then I have to kick them
out because I have meetings andthey think my whole day is to
hang out with them, but I haveto tell them they have to leave
now.
That's what I love.
That's what I love.
That's oh my gosh, that's whatI love.
So I recognize that even thepromotion may not be the best
(22:22):
fit.
I have recognized that, eventhough we teach, keep climbing
the ladder, keep climbing theladder, keep climbing the ladder
.
Sometimes you found your fitand you don't need to climb
anymore.
Now, if it's a money issue,there are many ways that you can
make extra money to make surethat your family is taken care
of, that your lifestyle is takencare of.
(22:43):
Don't climb the ladder just formoney.
Don't climb the ladder just forthe title or just for the
salary.
If you climb the ladder, knowthat you are moving within your
brilliance.
Know that you are moving withinyour fit.
Do not go to another level justbecause it's culturally
appropriate, just because peopleare telling you that's the next
(23:07):
best thing.
You go to the next levelbecause you know it is a fit for
your heart.
It is a fit for your brilliance.
It is what you need and alsowhat people need from you.
Success is no longer the levelof the position that I made it
to, not according to PBJ.
Let me give y'all a spoonful ofPBJ.
(23:28):
Success is I am maximizingbrilliance all over my life and
when I look around at theresponsibilities that I have,
when I look around at theresponsibilities that I have,
when I look around at the peoplethat I serve, at the job that I
do, I can truly say that I'mexactly where I'm supposed to be
and I was made for this.
(23:51):
That's it.
That's success.
I was made for this.
I'm doing exactly what I wascreated and specifically
assigned to do.
That is success.
So, when you find yourselfoverwhelmed, when you find
yourself in burnout, I want youto ask yourself some questions.
(24:14):
Is this job a good fit for me?
Is it still a good fit?
Is the new opportunity going tobe a good fit for who I am and
the brilliance that I bring?
Friend, high functioning, highlyintelligent, highly
(24:37):
accomplished women specificallypeople, but specifically women.
You don't struggle because yougot a lot going on.
Friend.
What I've learned is you alwaysgoing to have a lot going on.
Your calendar is always goingto be full and you're always
going to have a lot going on.
It's not just that you have alot going on, it is what you are
(25:01):
doing.
What is the allot, what are thethings you are dedicating your
time to, and are they a fit withyour brilliance?
All right, friend.
Like I said, this has come upseveral times in conversations
over the last couple of weeks.
So I say you know what thattells me.
More people need to hear it.
(25:22):
So there you have it.
This has come up several timesin conversations over the last
couple of weeks.
So I say you know what thattells me.
More people need to hear it.
So there you have it.
Make sure it's a fit friend.
As always, you are powerful,you are significant, you are
brilliant and you are love, lovealways, friend PBJ.
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