September 25, 2024 • 26 mins
Hey Friend,
Have you ever considered that the traits you've been undervaluing might actually be your greatest strengths? This week on the podcast, in an episode titled "Embracing Your Hidden Brilliance: A Journey of Self-Discovery," we delve into the untapped potential that lies within each of us.
Join me, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, as I share enlightening moments from the recent ICON Conference in Summerville, South Carolina. You'll hear the inspiring story of my team member, Sharon, who found that her natural confrontational skills—often viewed negatively—were actually vital to her success and an integral part of her brilliance.
This episode will guide you through the process of recognizing and leveraging your unique capabilities for both personal and professional growth. Learn why brilliance, unlike fleeting passions, is an innate quality that remains with you through all stages of life.
I'll also share a personal anecdote about my attempts to protect Sharon from feeling overwhelmed, which inadvertently limited her growth, showcasing the importance of empathy and vulnerability in leadership. Furthermore, I propose the idea of forming a cohort designed to help others discover and celebrate their inherent brilliance.
Tune in to start embracing your authentic self and unlock the intrinsic power and love you already possess. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together and celebrate the unique strengths that make us who we are.
Love Always,
PBJ
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Friend, if you have ever heard me talk about
brilliance, you need to hearthis and, as a matter of fact,
if you've never heard me talkabout brilliance, you really
need to hear this.
I had an experience thisweekend that allowed me to
understand brilliance evendeeper and that will empower you
(00:23):
to identify your brilliance andthe brilliance of those around
you.
Friend, you got to hear this.
You got to hear this.
Come on, let's talk about it.
(00:53):
Hey friend, I am Dr PatriceBuckner-Jackson, but you can
call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
living with the consequences ofburnout.
Friend, I cannot wait to sharethis with you.
(01:15):
As a matter of fact, I'm aboutready to write book number two
after this.
Okay, that is how powerful thisrevelation was for me this
weekend.
So I had the honor of serving,speaking and doing a workshop at
the ICON Conference inSomerville, south Carolina.
(01:38):
Shout out to Sonia Sutherlandand the Innovate Human Capital
Solutions Dream Team.
This conference bringsprofessionals from multiple
industries together businessowners, professionals, hr
executives and we come togetherin one space.
(02:00):
There are breakout sessions,but there are also plenary
sessions where we're alltogether, learning across these
industries.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
So I had the opportunity toshare at the gala, as well as in
a workshop concerning Discoveryour Brilliance.
Now, if you're new here, youmay not know this, but we
(02:23):
disrupt burnout through threestrategies called the heart work
journey, and those strategiesare checking your baggage,
building your boundaries anddiscovering your brilliance.
And when I tell you, discoveryour brilliance is my favorite
place to hang out, listen, it isthe strategy that has
transformed my life in the mostpowerful way and so many people
(02:48):
that I have the honor of servingwith.
Now, you can't get tobrilliance very well if you
don't work on that backpack andthem boundaries friend.
But discover your brilliance iswhere this freedom comes.
So I had the opportunity toshare discover your brilliance,
as we do often.
I had the opportunity to shareDiscover your Brilliance, as we
do often.
My team member, my Educare teammember, sharon, was with me.
(03:10):
She travels with me and assistswith so many things in this
business.
Sharon and I had a littlecelebratory dinner after the
conference was over.
We had an opportunity to talkabout what we learned during the
conference, to have some goodold seafood from Charleston,
(03:30):
south Carolina.
Listen, if you've never been toCharleston?
What are you waiting for Ifyou've never been to Paige's
Okra Grill?
Listen, hear me, are we friendsor are we friends?
You need to go to Paige's OkraGrill.
That's all I got to say.
There's one in Somerville andone in Mount Pleasant.
You need to make your way,because that's it and there's
(03:53):
nothing else to say Just go.
So Sharon and I were celebratinga successful conference and
having our dinner at Paige's atpages and this conversation has
come up often, because she hearsme share about brilliance
pretty often.
So we've, off and on throughour time working together, had
(04:14):
discussions about what herbrilliance is, but it always
felt like we didn't quite putour finger on it, like we would
get close, but it just didn'tquite feel like we had found it,
like we had discovered thetreasure.
That's the first thing I wantyou to know about brilliance.
It's a journey.
This discover your brillianceis not a one-time, one-shot sit
(04:37):
down, okay, I got it, check theblock, like often.
People can get very close to it, some people even identify it,
but then you get to know it evenin a deeper way as you continue
the exploration of your ownlife.
So Sharon and I have had thisconversation on several
(04:58):
occasions, but we just didn'tfeel like we got there.
So we were discussing theworkshop and discussing some of
the takeaways and learningoutcomes that people got and
Sharon started, you know,talking about her own impact.
Your brilliance is your innate,unique value that you bring to
(05:19):
the world, the impact thatyou've always had.
It's the who of who you are.
And in talking about this,sharon at one point brought up.
She said well, many people havesaid I'm confrontational.
And I said well, tell me moreabout that.
She said yeah, throughout mylife people have said that I'm
(05:42):
confrontational and the way shesaid it it was like that's a bad
thing.
So I asked her.
I said is that a bad thing?
Is it bad to be confrontational?
And she began to recountsituations and circumstances
where being confrontational hasbeen an advantage.
(06:03):
And when we talk aboutconfrontational because you may
be thinking the same wayconfrontation doesn't have to be
a fight, it doesn't have to beugly.
It just means that Sharon has anatural ability of being direct
and addressing whatever thething is.
It doesn't even have to beuncomfortable, but Sharon has a
(06:25):
natural, innate ability to standin the space and address
whatever the thing is.
But then she said couldconfrontation be my brilliance?
And I just didn't feel likethat was it, because I know that
in the way that she serves me,it's not always through
confrontation.
I've seen that part come outand it was needed in those
(06:49):
situations and I was gratefulthat she was on the team to
handle some of those challenges.
But that was not the whole ofwhat she did and the impact that
she has on me, the impact thatshe has on this work, so I just
didn't feel like confrontationwas the brilliance.
But then I thought I said youknow, but I think it is a tool
(07:13):
and this tool aspect issomething that we've never
considered, we never talkedabout.
It was the first time that itcame up in regards to
discovering your brilliance,time that it came up in regards
to discovering your brilliance.
But as she spoke more, we beganto identify some of her tools.
So confrontation is a tool.
(07:34):
She's willing to stand in theuncomfortable place, stand in
the place of tension and addresswhatever the questions are.
I would also say that speaking,whether speaking up or speaking
on behalf of let's just callthat advocacy Advocacy is one of
her tools.
Advocacy is something that sheuses not just professionally,
(07:56):
but in other areas of her life.
She will stand up for theperson who needs support and she
naturally does it without itbeing forced, without having to
make it up.
It just naturally flows fromher.
Another tool that we identifiedin Sharon is ingenuity.
Like, sharon is MacGyver, youhear me, sharon is MacGyver.
(08:21):
There has not been one challengethat I have brought up to her
that she could not find a way todeal with it.
I'll give y'all an example.
So at the gala this pastweekend we all got these yellow
wrist bands.
They were kind of like yellowribbon and it had a black clasp
(08:42):
on it and the more you pulled inthe black clasp, the tighter
the ribbon became.
So I just assumed that I couldpull the clasp in the opposite
direction and it would loosen sothat I could take it off,
because I had on a formal dress.
I didn't want to do my keynotein the wristband either way.
So I'm trying to pull thisthing off and it won't come off
(09:05):
like the the.
The class will go in thedirection of making it tighter,
but not in the direction ofmaking it looser.
So I'm thinking, man, I reallydon't want to go up there with
this on my wrist, my my dresswas navy blue.
I didn't want to have theyellow thing.
So I look at Sharon and saidcan you get yours off?
And she tried and oh no, it'snot coming off.
(09:27):
And Sharon says give me a fork.
I said what are you going to do?
Give me a fork.
And it's not unusual at all.
There have been times thatpaperclips and pliers and all
kinds of things have come up toanswer the problem.
(09:49):
And guess what?
It answered the problem.
Like whatever she came up with,it answered the problem.
So she has this knack foringenuity.
So, as we continue to exploreher tools, she said something
that just smacked me in the face.
She said I move mountains.
(10:09):
And I said whoa, whoa, stop,stop.
What did you just say?
She said I move mountains.
I said tell me what you mean bythat.
She said well, earlier today.
So I did a workshop earlier inthat day and at one point during
the workshop I got a littlechoked up, not crying, but like
(10:31):
choked up, um, like needed tocough.
All the things right, and it wasright, and it was just a moment
.
It was just a moment, but itwas long enough for people to
pay attention.
But I got through.
It took a deep breath and keptrolling.
The next thing I know Sharon iscoming back in the room.
I didn't even see her leave,but she comes back in the room
and she's got water in her hand,right.
(10:53):
I didn't ask any questions.
I drank the water, kept going.
When my workshop was over, Ilooked over.
Sharon was there with anothercup of water, right.
What I didn't know is she endedup going downstairs to the
restaurant, to the front desk,like to find that cup of water.
She went all over that hotel toget that cup of water.
(11:15):
Now, the second cup, she founda closer.
Um, there was water upstairs,but we just didn't know it.
Long story short, whatever ittook to take care of the
challenge, whatever it took totake care of my dry throat, that
is what she's going to do andthat has shown up over and over
and over.
Whatever it takes to take careof the problem, she is going to
(11:38):
find a way.
She moves mountains.
It's her brilliance and both ofus.
Just I mean, like it has beenin our faces.
It has been.
This brilliance has been soloud, but maybe we were too
close to see it or maybe we justdidn't take enough time to dig
(12:00):
into it.
But when we look back over ourtime working together almost one
year now but even outside ofher professional life and other
arenas of life, she can recountways that she has moved the
mountain, that she has solvedthe problem, and she naturally
does it.
And we always say, you know, Ialways say that your brilliance
(12:23):
is your kryptonite and yoursuperpower.
Right?
So the superpower is Sharon isgoing to solve the problem.
The kryptonite could be maybeshe solves problems that are not
hers to solve.
That's not what's happened inour relationship, but that's a
challenge that could possiblyhappen.
Another kryptonite could bethat she is so focused on
(12:45):
solving the problem that shecan't let it go Like there must
be a solution, there must be ananswer, there must be a
resolution, so it can becomeoverwhelming if she's not
willing to release it when shecan't find an adequate solution.
So here's the revelation, right?
If you've heard me talk aboutbrilliance before, you know your
(13:07):
brilliance is your innate,unique value that you bring.
It's who you are.
You didn't get it when you gotthe promotion, when you got the
special job, when you got thecertification, when you got the
degree.
This brilliance has been a partof you, all of your life, and
most of us don't give value toour brilliance because it comes
(13:29):
so natural to us.
It feels like, well, everybodydoes that thing right, or
everybody sees the world thatway, or everybody shows up this
way right?
No, friend, everybody doesn't.
It is your unique, innatebrilliance.
You are the one, you're the one.
(13:51):
So you've got to think abouthow can I investigate my own
life?
And especially today, westruggle to see ourselves
because we're so busy looking atother people, especially on
social media, and even if you'renot a Facebook, instagram
person, even on LinkedIn, it iseasy to get sucked in of
(14:15):
watching someone else's life andsomeone else's story that you
miss the value of your own.
So investigating the tools, solet's walk through it.
So there's a brilliance andthat brilliance is the heart of
who you are.
Some people may call thispurpose.
It is that innate, unique valuethat you bring to the world,
(14:37):
that you use to impact peoplearound you.
No matter where you are, itgoes with you.
I said this last week tosomeone everywhere you go, there
you are, so that brilliance isthere, even if you're in a job
where you feel like you're notengaging in your brilliance.
How do you bring thatbrilliance to the workplace?
(14:59):
How do you bring thatbrilliance to the work that
you're doing right now?
Because everywhere you are,there you are, that brilliance
is still there.
Whether you're doing work thatyou love or not, that brilliance
is still there.
So how can you maximizebringing that brilliance with
you in the work that you do, sofrom your brilliance?
Next, you have these tools.
(15:20):
This is the new part.
So if you've heard me talkabout brilliance before, this is
a piece we haven't discussedbecause it's a piece that I just
discovered.
So what are your tools?
What are the methods by whichyou use to share your brilliance
with the world?
So, for Sharon, it wasconfrontation, it was advocacy,
(15:45):
it was speaking up, it'singenuity.
These are the tools that sheuses to bring her brilliance,
which is solving the problem, tothe earth right.
What are your tools?
So, for me, my brilliance iscrisis and solving crisis,
walking folks through crisis.
But my tools are empathy, mytools are vulnerability.
(16:09):
My tools are listening.
I have an innate ability toreally hear what a person is
saying, even beyond what theythink they're saying right.
Those are the tools that I useto walk folks through crisis.
Now there may be, and I'm surethere are many people who have
(16:30):
brilliance related to crisisresolution or crisis management,
but their tools may be strategy.
Their tools may be somethingdifferent than what I use.
Your tools are what makes yourbrilliance unique to you.
Hear me, your specificcombination of tools is what
(16:55):
makes your brilliance so uniqueto you, so specific.
In our heart work community,there's a member who was talking
about her brilliance and shecalled it her brand of
brilliance.
Right.
So your brilliance may be, youcan take something very
complicated and make it simplefor people to understand, but
(17:19):
what makes it your brand andwhat makes it unique to you are
the is the combination of toolsthat you use to share that
brilliance.
What are your tools?
What are the tools that you useto share your brilliance with
(17:40):
the world?
The biggest misconception I seewhen it comes to brilliance and
(18:04):
when it comes to purpose ispeople believe that their
passions are their purpose.
Passion and purpose are not thesame thing.
Passion without the brillianceon it as a boundary can be
reckless.
It can be dangerous.
Passions are roles that you love, that you're on fire about,
(18:27):
that you love that light you up,that frustrate you, that evoke
emotion, deep emotion in youright.
Those roles may be your parentrole or your partner role, or
your work role, or your servicerole, or your role in your
(18:52):
family of origin.
You have different roles inyour life, right, and you are
passionate about those roles,but none of those roles are your
actual brilliance.
Those roles are just how youimpact the world.
It is how you share yourbrilliance with the world.
(19:14):
It is the space that you standin to pour out brilliance.
And here's the thing aboutpassions they can change
throughout your life, indifferent seasons of your life.
If you look back over your life, you've had different roles.
(19:35):
You've had different passions.
You've had differentresponsibilities, you've had
different jobs.
Those seasons of your lifechange and if you wrap your
identity around a specificpassion, when it's time for that
passion to change, you won'tknow who you are.
You'll have an identity crisis.
But the thing that you can leanon and depend on is the
(19:58):
brilliance.
It stays the same.
That brilliance stays with youthroughout your life.
It may look different, it mayshow up in different ways, but
it's the same brilliance overand over and over and over.
What is the impact that youhave?
What is the difference betweenyou doing a certain job and
(20:21):
somebody else doing that samejob.
What do we lose if you were nolonger with us, if you're no
longer at the job, if you wereno longer in that role, if you
were no longer in that seat?
What do we lose?
What goes with you, it's yourbrilliance, but it's also the
tools that you use to share thatbrilliance with the world.
(20:48):
I'm here to tell you that, as aleader, knowing Sharon's
brilliance is transformationalfor both of us, because it
empowers me to get out of herway and honor the way that she
shows up and what she needs topour out.
(21:10):
You need to pour out brilliance.
You need to show up in thefullness of who you are, knowing
that she is a problem solver,and it just it wrecks me how
long it took us to put ourfinger on it and it has been so
loud.
Now that we're aware of it, welook back and say, gosh, we
(21:33):
should have known this.
It's so loud but sometimes thecloser you are to a person, the
harder it is for you to see.
But the power of identifyingher brilliance.
So for us walking folks throughcrisis with that empathy and
vulnerability and being able tosee and hear people, one of my
(21:59):
natural inclinations is toprotect, is to lift the weight
off of other people, is to notput too much on folks.
But now I know Sharon'sbrilliance is to solve the
problem and in my effort to liftthe weight, to protect her from
(22:20):
overwhelm or working too muchor whatever, I've been in her
way at times.
You know there have been timesI have said, hey, don't worry
about it, we don't have to fixit, it's fine, we'll work around
(22:40):
it, it's okay.
And now I know for her that isextremely frustrating to not
resolve it, to not fix it, tonot have resolution to whatever
it is.
And my intent, my intent was tolift the burden, but the impact
would have been, or the impactwas that the burden was
increased because I blocked herfrom showing up in her
(23:01):
brilliance.
Man, I believe that as leadersand as supervisors, as managers,
we have the right intentions,but sometimes our intentions are
connected more to who we arethan to who we're serving with.
Sometimes our intentions aremore connected to our own
(23:25):
brilliance, as that not onlythey will be empowered and
(23:48):
understand the value that theybring to the team, but also so
we will know how to make spacefor them, so we will know how to
allow, because you don't haveto make somebody show up in
brilliance, you don't have toforce that, but you can stand in
the way.
(24:09):
You can stand in the way andwhat I've found is, if we allow
people to flourish in theirbrilliance, there is a loyalty,
there is an intrinsic motivation, there's a new fire, it's like
(24:30):
revival, it's like coming aliveagain, when a person one
identifies the value that theybring to the team and two has
the opportunity and space tomaximize that value.
So, friend, I want to encourageyou today.
I want to encourage you to workwith and walk with your folks,
(24:55):
help them identify theirbrilliance.
How do we do that, pbj?
I feel like I do this workshop,but I feel like I want to pull a
cohort of people together towalk through, discover your
Brilliance.
I've done this once before, butI think it's time to do it
again, because I get thisquestion pretty often.
(25:16):
I want us to walk through it sothat you know exactly how to
discover your own brilliance,but how to help others discover
theirs as well.
It makes all the differencewhen you know who you are.
It makes all the differencewhen you know that there is
(25:37):
space for you and that you arehonored and valued in what you
bring, not your hustle, not youroverworking, not your
overachieving, but by showing upin the fullness of who you've
always been.
All right, friend, I got to letyou go.
As always, you are powerful,you are significant and you are
(25:58):
loved.
Love always, pbj.
Friend, if you have ever heard me talk about
brilliance, you need to hearthis and, as a matter of fact,
if you've never heard me talkabout brilliance, you really
need to hear this.
I had an experience thisweekend that allowed me to
understand brilliance evendeeper and that will empower you
(00:23):
to identify your brilliance andthe brilliance of those around
you.
Friend, you got to hear this.
You got to hear this.
Come on, let's talk about it.
(00:53):
Hey friend, I am Dr PatriceBuckner-Jackson, but you can
call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
living with the consequences ofburnout.
Friend, I cannot wait to sharethis with you.
(01:15):
As a matter of fact, I'm aboutready to write book number two
after this.
Okay, that is how powerful thisrevelation was for me this
weekend.
So I had the honor of serving,speaking and doing a workshop at
the ICON Conference inSomerville, south Carolina.
(01:38):
Shout out to Sonia Sutherlandand the Innovate Human Capital
Solutions Dream Team.
This conference bringsprofessionals from multiple
industries together businessowners, professionals, hr
executives and we come togetherin one space.
(02:00):
There are breakout sessions,but there are also plenary
sessions where we're alltogether, learning across these
industries.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
So I had the opportunity toshare at the gala, as well as in
a workshop concerning Discoveryour Brilliance.
Now, if you're new here, youmay not know this, but we
(02:23):
disrupt burnout through threestrategies called the heart work
journey, and those strategiesare checking your baggage,
building your boundaries anddiscovering your brilliance.
And when I tell you, discoveryour brilliance is my favorite
place to hang out, listen, it isthe strategy that has
transformed my life in the mostpowerful way and so many people
(02:48):
that I have the honor of servingwith.
Now, you can't get tobrilliance very well if you
don't work on that backpack andthem boundaries friend.
But discover your brilliance iswhere this freedom comes.
So I had the opportunity toshare discover your brilliance,
as we do often.
I had the opportunity to shareDiscover your Brilliance, as we
do often.
My team member, my Educare teammember, sharon, was with me.
(03:10):
She travels with me and assistswith so many things in this
business.
Sharon and I had a littlecelebratory dinner after the
conference was over.
We had an opportunity to talkabout what we learned during the
conference, to have some goodold seafood from Charleston,
(03:30):
south Carolina.
Listen, if you've never been toCharleston?
What are you waiting for Ifyou've never been to Paige's
Okra Grill?
Listen, hear me, are we friendsor are we friends?
You need to go to Paige's OkraGrill.
That's all I got to say.
There's one in Somerville andone in Mount Pleasant.
You need to make your way,because that's it and there's
(03:53):
nothing else to say Just go.
So Sharon and I were celebratinga successful conference and
having our dinner at Paige's atpages and this conversation has
come up often, because she hearsme share about brilliance
pretty often.
So we've, off and on throughour time working together, had
(04:14):
discussions about what herbrilliance is, but it always
felt like we didn't quite putour finger on it, like we would
get close, but it just didn'tquite feel like we had found it,
like we had discovered thetreasure.
That's the first thing I wantyou to know about brilliance.
It's a journey.
This discover your brillianceis not a one-time, one-shot sit
(04:37):
down, okay, I got it, check theblock, like often.
People can get very close to it, some people even identify it,
but then you get to know it evenin a deeper way as you continue
the exploration of your ownlife.
So Sharon and I have had thisconversation on several
(04:58):
occasions, but we just didn'tfeel like we got there.
So we were discussing theworkshop and discussing some of
the takeaways and learningoutcomes that people got and
Sharon started, you know,talking about her own impact.
Your brilliance is your innate,unique value that you bring to
(05:19):
the world, the impact thatyou've always had.
It's the who of who you are.
And in talking about this,sharon at one point brought up.
She said well, many people havesaid I'm confrontational.
And I said well, tell me moreabout that.
She said yeah, throughout mylife people have said that I'm
(05:42):
confrontational and the way shesaid it it was like that's a bad
thing.
So I asked her.
I said is that a bad thing?
Is it bad to be confrontational?
And she began to recountsituations and circumstances
where being confrontational hasbeen an advantage.
(06:03):
And when we talk aboutconfrontational because you may
be thinking the same wayconfrontation doesn't have to be
a fight, it doesn't have to beugly.
It just means that Sharon has anatural ability of being direct
and addressing whatever thething is.
It doesn't even have to beuncomfortable, but Sharon has a
(06:25):
natural, innate ability to standin the space and address
whatever the thing is.
But then she said couldconfrontation be my brilliance?
And I just didn't feel likethat was it, because I know that
in the way that she serves me,it's not always through
confrontation.
I've seen that part come outand it was needed in those
(06:49):
situations and I was gratefulthat she was on the team to
handle some of those challenges.
But that was not the whole ofwhat she did and the impact that
she has on me, the impact thatshe has on this work, so I just
didn't feel like confrontationwas the brilliance.
But then I thought I said youknow, but I think it is a tool
(07:13):
and this tool aspect issomething that we've never
considered, we never talkedabout.
It was the first time that itcame up in regards to
discovering your brilliance,time that it came up in regards
to discovering your brilliance.
But as she spoke more, we beganto identify some of her tools.
So confrontation is a tool.
(07:34):
She's willing to stand in theuncomfortable place, stand in
the place of tension and addresswhatever the questions are.
I would also say that speaking,whether speaking up or speaking
on behalf of let's just callthat advocacy Advocacy is one of
her tools.
Advocacy is something that sheuses not just professionally,
(07:56):
but in other areas of her life.
She will stand up for theperson who needs support and she
naturally does it without itbeing forced, without having to
make it up.
It just naturally flows fromher.
Another tool that we identifiedin Sharon is ingenuity.
Like, sharon is MacGyver, youhear me, sharon is MacGyver.
(08:21):
There has not been one challengethat I have brought up to her
that she could not find a way todeal with it.
I'll give y'all an example.
So at the gala this pastweekend we all got these yellow
wrist bands.
They were kind of like yellowribbon and it had a black clasp
(08:42):
on it and the more you pulled inthe black clasp, the tighter
the ribbon became.
So I just assumed that I couldpull the clasp in the opposite
direction and it would loosen sothat I could take it off,
because I had on a formal dress.
I didn't want to do my keynotein the wristband either way.
So I'm trying to pull thisthing off and it won't come off
(09:05):
like the the.
The class will go in thedirection of making it tighter,
but not in the direction ofmaking it looser.
So I'm thinking, man, I reallydon't want to go up there with
this on my wrist, my my dresswas navy blue.
I didn't want to have theyellow thing.
So I look at Sharon and saidcan you get yours off?
And she tried and oh no, it'snot coming off.
(09:27):
And Sharon says give me a fork.
I said what are you going to do?
Give me a fork.
And it's not unusual at all.
There have been times thatpaperclips and pliers and all
kinds of things have come up toanswer the problem.
(09:49):
And guess what?
It answered the problem.
Like whatever she came up with,it answered the problem.
So she has this knack foringenuity.
So, as we continue to exploreher tools, she said something
that just smacked me in the face.
She said I move mountains.
(10:09):
And I said whoa, whoa, stop,stop.
What did you just say?
She said I move mountains.
I said tell me what you mean bythat.
She said well, earlier today.
So I did a workshop earlier inthat day and at one point during
the workshop I got a littlechoked up, not crying, but like
(10:31):
choked up, um, like needed tocough.
All the things right, and it wasright, and it was just a moment
.
It was just a moment, but itwas long enough for people to
pay attention.
But I got through.
It took a deep breath and keptrolling.
The next thing I know Sharon iscoming back in the room.
I didn't even see her leave,but she comes back in the room
and she's got water in her hand,right.
(10:53):
I didn't ask any questions.
I drank the water, kept going.
When my workshop was over, Ilooked over.
Sharon was there with anothercup of water, right.
What I didn't know is she endedup going downstairs to the
restaurant, to the front desk,like to find that cup of water.
She went all over that hotel toget that cup of water.
(11:15):
Now, the second cup, she founda closer.
Um, there was water upstairs,but we just didn't know it.
Long story short, whatever ittook to take care of the
challenge, whatever it took totake care of my dry throat, that
is what she's going to do andthat has shown up over and over
and over.
Whatever it takes to take careof the problem, she is going to
(11:38):
find a way.
She moves mountains.
It's her brilliance and both ofus.
Just I mean, like it has beenin our faces.
It has been.
This brilliance has been soloud, but maybe we were too
close to see it or maybe we justdidn't take enough time to dig
(12:00):
into it.
But when we look back over ourtime working together almost one
year now but even outside ofher professional life and other
arenas of life, she can recountways that she has moved the
mountain, that she has solvedthe problem, and she naturally
does it.
And we always say, you know, Ialways say that your brilliance
(12:23):
is your kryptonite and yoursuperpower.
Right?
So the superpower is Sharon isgoing to solve the problem.
The kryptonite could be maybeshe solves problems that are not
hers to solve.
That's not what's happened inour relationship, but that's a
challenge that could possiblyhappen.
Another kryptonite could bethat she is so focused on
(12:45):
solving the problem that shecan't let it go Like there must
be a solution, there must be ananswer, there must be a
resolution, so it can becomeoverwhelming if she's not
willing to release it when shecan't find an adequate solution.
So here's the revelation, right?
If you've heard me talk aboutbrilliance before, you know your
(13:07):
brilliance is your innate,unique value that you bring.
It's who you are.
You didn't get it when you gotthe promotion, when you got the
special job, when you got thecertification, when you got the
degree.
This brilliance has been a partof you, all of your life, and
most of us don't give value toour brilliance because it comes
(13:29):
so natural to us.
It feels like, well, everybodydoes that thing right, or
everybody sees the world thatway, or everybody shows up this
way right?
No, friend, everybody doesn't.
It is your unique, innatebrilliance.
You are the one, you're the one.
(13:51):
So you've got to think abouthow can I investigate my own
life?
And especially today, westruggle to see ourselves
because we're so busy looking atother people, especially on
social media, and even if you'renot a Facebook, instagram
person, even on LinkedIn, it iseasy to get sucked in of
(14:15):
watching someone else's life andsomeone else's story that you
miss the value of your own.
So investigating the tools, solet's walk through it.
So there's a brilliance andthat brilliance is the heart of
who you are.
Some people may call thispurpose.
It is that innate, unique valuethat you bring to the world,
(14:37):
that you use to impact peoplearound you.
No matter where you are, itgoes with you.
I said this last week tosomeone everywhere you go, there
you are, so that brilliance isthere, even if you're in a job
where you feel like you're notengaging in your brilliance.
How do you bring thatbrilliance to the workplace?
(14:59):
How do you bring thatbrilliance to the work that
you're doing right now?
Because everywhere you are,there you are, that brilliance
is still there.
Whether you're doing work thatyou love or not, that brilliance
is still there.
So how can you maximizebringing that brilliance with
you in the work that you do, sofrom your brilliance?
Next, you have these tools.
(15:20):
This is the new part.
So if you've heard me talkabout brilliance before, this is
a piece we haven't discussedbecause it's a piece that I just
discovered.
So what are your tools?
What are the methods by whichyou use to share your brilliance
with the world?
So, for Sharon, it wasconfrontation, it was advocacy,
(15:45):
it was speaking up, it'singenuity.
These are the tools that sheuses to bring her brilliance,
which is solving the problem, tothe earth right.
What are your tools?
So, for me, my brilliance iscrisis and solving crisis,
walking folks through crisis.
But my tools are empathy, mytools are vulnerability.
(16:09):
My tools are listening.
I have an innate ability toreally hear what a person is
saying, even beyond what theythink they're saying right.
Those are the tools that I useto walk folks through crisis.
Now there may be, and I'm surethere are many people who have
(16:30):
brilliance related to crisisresolution or crisis management,
but their tools may be strategy.
Their tools may be somethingdifferent than what I use.
Your tools are what makes yourbrilliance unique to you.
Hear me, your specificcombination of tools is what
(16:55):
makes your brilliance so uniqueto you, so specific.
In our heart work community,there's a member who was talking
about her brilliance and shecalled it her brand of
brilliance.
Right.
So your brilliance may be, youcan take something very
complicated and make it simplefor people to understand, but
(17:19):
what makes it your brand andwhat makes it unique to you are
the is the combination of toolsthat you use to share that
brilliance.
What are your tools?
What are the tools that you useto share your brilliance with
(17:40):
the world?
The biggest misconception I seewhen it comes to brilliance and
(18:04):
when it comes to purpose ispeople believe that their
passions are their purpose.
Passion and purpose are not thesame thing.
Passion without the brillianceon it as a boundary can be
reckless.
It can be dangerous.
Passions are roles that you love, that you're on fire about,
(18:27):
that you love that light you up,that frustrate you, that evoke
emotion, deep emotion in youright.
Those roles may be your parentrole or your partner role, or
your work role, or your servicerole, or your role in your
(18:52):
family of origin.
You have different roles inyour life, right, and you are
passionate about those roles,but none of those roles are your
actual brilliance.
Those roles are just how youimpact the world.
It is how you share yourbrilliance with the world.
(19:14):
It is the space that you standin to pour out brilliance.
And here's the thing aboutpassions they can change
throughout your life, indifferent seasons of your life.
If you look back over your life, you've had different roles.
(19:35):
You've had different passions.
You've had differentresponsibilities, you've had
different jobs.
Those seasons of your lifechange and if you wrap your
identity around a specificpassion, when it's time for that
passion to change, you won'tknow who you are.
You'll have an identity crisis.
But the thing that you can leanon and depend on is the
(19:58):
brilliance.
It stays the same.
That brilliance stays with youthroughout your life.
It may look different, it mayshow up in different ways, but
it's the same brilliance overand over and over and over.
What is the impact that youhave?
What is the difference betweenyou doing a certain job and
(20:21):
somebody else doing that samejob.
What do we lose if you were nolonger with us, if you're no
longer at the job, if you wereno longer in that role, if you
were no longer in that seat?
What do we lose?
What goes with you, it's yourbrilliance, but it's also the
tools that you use to share thatbrilliance with the world.
(20:48):
I'm here to tell you that, as aleader, knowing Sharon's
brilliance is transformationalfor both of us, because it
empowers me to get out of herway and honor the way that she
shows up and what she needs topour out.
(21:10):
You need to pour out brilliance.
You need to show up in thefullness of who you are, knowing
that she is a problem solver,and it just it wrecks me how
long it took us to put ourfinger on it and it has been so
loud.
Now that we're aware of it, welook back and say, gosh, we
(21:33):
should have known this.
It's so loud but sometimes thecloser you are to a person, the
harder it is for you to see.
But the power of identifyingher brilliance.
So for us walking folks throughcrisis with that empathy and
vulnerability and being able tosee and hear people, one of my
(21:59):
natural inclinations is toprotect, is to lift the weight
off of other people, is to notput too much on folks.
But now I know Sharon'sbrilliance is to solve the
problem and in my effort to liftthe weight, to protect her from
(22:20):
overwhelm or working too muchor whatever, I've been in her
way at times.
You know there have been timesI have said, hey, don't worry
about it, we don't have to fixit, it's fine, we'll work around
(22:40):
it, it's okay.
And now I know for her that isextremely frustrating to not
resolve it, to not fix it, tonot have resolution to whatever
it is.
And my intent, my intent was tolift the burden, but the impact
would have been, or the impactwas that the burden was
increased because I blocked herfrom showing up in her
(23:01):
brilliance.
Man, I believe that as leadersand as supervisors, as managers,
we have the right intentions,but sometimes our intentions are
connected more to who we arethan to who we're serving with.
Sometimes our intentions aremore connected to our own
(23:25):
brilliance, as that not onlythey will be empowered and
(23:48):
understand the value that theybring to the team, but also so
we will know how to make spacefor them, so we will know how to
allow, because you don't haveto make somebody show up in
brilliance, you don't have toforce that, but you can stand in
the way.
(24:09):
You can stand in the way andwhat I've found is, if we allow
people to flourish in theirbrilliance, there is a loyalty,
there is an intrinsic motivation, there's a new fire, it's like
(24:30):
revival, it's like coming aliveagain, when a person one
identifies the value that theybring to the team and two has
the opportunity and space tomaximize that value.
So, friend, I want to encourageyou today.
I want to encourage you to workwith and walk with your folks,
(24:55):
help them identify theirbrilliance.
How do we do that, pbj?
I feel like I do this workshop,but I feel like I want to pull a
cohort of people together towalk through, discover your
Brilliance.
I've done this once before, butI think it's time to do it
again, because I get thisquestion pretty often.
(25:16):
I want us to walk through it sothat you know exactly how to
discover your own brilliance,but how to help others discover
theirs as well.
It makes all the differencewhen you know who you are.
It makes all the differencewhen you know that there is
(25:37):
space for you and that you arehonored and valued in what you
bring, not your hustle, not youroverworking, not your
overachieving, but by showing upin the fullness of who you've
always been.
All right, friend, I got to letyou go.
As always, you are powerful,you are significant and you are
(25:58):
loved.
Love always, pbj.
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