October 16, 2024 • 22 mins
Hey Friend,
What if the journey to discover our true selves, commonly sparked in our twenties, doesn't just wrap up as we approach midlife? This week, join me, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, as we delve into the ongoing transitions from quarter-life dilemmas to midlife reflections—a path familiar to many millennials.
In this episode titled "Beyond the Quarter-Life Crisis: Embracing Midlife with Brilliance," I share personal experiences from navigating the turbulent waters of a quarter-life crisis, where the quest for purpose persists even amidst professional accomplishments. It’s common to face unmet expectations in careers and relationships, leading to deep-seated frustrations. Together, we’ll explore the struggle to recognize the unique brilliance that has always been within us, though often overlooked.
We'll also examine the crucial steps toward healing and the bold moves necessary to embrace new beginnings. Personal wounds can cloud our judgments, but confronting these scars opens the door to clarity and growth. Creating safe spaces to speak your truth can be profoundly transformative, providing the courage to forge a new path.
Recognizing your own brilliance is essential, and sometimes, it requires an outside perspective to fully appreciate it. By setting firm personal boundaries, we learn to balance success with well-being. This episode is your reminder of your immense power and an encouragement to continue striving to become the best version of yourself.
Join me on this reflective journey as we unlock the full potential of our midlife years.
Love Always,
PBJ
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know, friend, in episode three of this podcast, I
spoke to you about the quarterlife crisis, this identity
crisis that folks between 25 and30 or so go through trying to
find themselves.
But now I'm watching thequarter life crisis turn into
(00:22):
the midlife crisis, specificallyfor my millennials, because
you're my people, you're thefolks that I hang out with the
most.
We need to talk about thisbecause we are still, even at
our big age, we are stillstruggling with our identity.
Let's talk about it, friend.
(00:47):
Hey, friend, I am Dr PatriceBuckner-Jackson, but you can
(01:12):
call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
enduring the consequences ofburnout.
And today, friend, we need totalk about this quarter life
crisis that has morphed into themidlife crisis.
(01:34):
So in episode three of this I'mpretty sure it's three, it's
three or four, but I'm prettysure it's episode three of this
podcast.
So four years ago, I took sometime to tell you all about a
season of my life in my 20s,late 20s, where I walked through
what I identified as a quarterlife crisis.
(01:57):
So many of us have heard abouta midlife crisis.
If you watch it in the movies.
It talks about people buyingmotorcycles and getting new
significant others and new haircolors and cutting the hair and
all kinds of stuff that peopleall of a sudden start to find
themselves.
But I became aware of this ideaof a quarter-life crisis
(02:23):
through my work with collegestudents and helping them
transition from college to theprofessional world.
But in doing my work inquarter-life crisis, I thought,
oh my gosh, I went through thisand I didn't even know what it
was.
Nobody sat me down and saidfriend, you're going through a
quarter-life crisis.
This is normal.
Other people experience this.
(02:44):
But this is why you're trippingright now and this is why
you're struggling right now.
I had no idea.
If you want to hear more aboutthat, definitely go back to
episode three.
I think the episode is calledMillennial Quarter Life Crisis,
so go check that out.
But here's why I want to talkto you today, because that was
(03:05):
four years ago and at that timeof the podcast I was focused on
millennials, young adults but ofcourse, now you know that this
podcast is focused on burnoutfor purposeful professionals,
specifically educators, right.
But as I am traveling and as I'mmeeting so many of you on the
(03:29):
road, what I'm recognizing isour quarter, life crisis is
transitioning, morphing into amidlife crisis because we never
resolved the identity issue.
Crisis because we neverresolved the identity issue.
(03:50):
So I am meeting professionalfolks who are seemingly
successful according towhoever's definition of success.
They have a job that they'reholding down, they are paying
their bills, they have beenaccomplished in their jobs,
they've been recognized in theirjobs, but they still have this
deep void of knowing who theyare.
(04:13):
These folks who aretransitioning into midlife
crisis are finding themselvesseverely disappointed.
They are disappointed in theoutcomes of their lives.
They are disappointed in missedexpectations or lost
expectations, things that theyexpected to happen but did not
(04:36):
happen.
They are frustrated in theirrelationships and in their
connections.
They are feeling disappointedin themselves because there was
a belief that by this time in mylife I should have it all
together.
By this point in my life Ireally should be smooth sailing.
(04:59):
I did all of this struggling inmy 20s and in my 30s, so I
didn't have to do it now.
They are frustrated in theircareer fields and in their jobs
because it has not fulfilledthem in the way that they desire
to be fulfilled.
As I travel, I am engaging withbrilliant professionals,
(05:24):
absolutely outstanding leaders,people who, when you meet them
in their professional setting,you would want them to be your
mentor, you would look up tothem, you would have respect for
them, as you should haverespect for them.
And there's a struggle.
(05:46):
There's an internal strugglethat they are experiencing
concerning their own identity,and I am convinced that that
struggle has not changed sincethe quarter life crisis.
The same struggles we have inour 20s to understand who am I?
Why am I here?
Why am I significant?
(06:08):
Who's going to love me?
Who should I trust?
How do I answer these hardquestions in life If those
questions were never answered?
There are folks who are stillstuck in the crisis and there
have been seasons of good, therehave been seasons of success,
(06:31):
there have been degrees andcertifications and job
promotions, and marriages andchildren and houses and all
kinds of things that have comealong, but somehow there was an
expectation that all of thesethings would be fulfilling.
Fulfilling.
And now, as we move towards ourmid-40s and into our 50s well,
(06:57):
millennials are not 50 yet, butI'm not just talking about
millennials.
This is all of us right.
This is Gen X.
This is all of us right.
As we move towards thosemid-40s and into our 50s, we're
looking back and trying tofigure out where we missed it.
(07:17):
I know professional phenomenalwomen who feel unfulfilled in
the relational area of theirlife and the social area of
their life.
I know very intelligent,accomplished men who feel very
unfulfilled, maybe in thefinances of their life, and this
(07:39):
is not gender specific.
Any human being can feel thesethings.
Right.
I have encountered folks as Itravel and have this
conversation about discoveringyour brilliance.
There's so many folks that Icome in contact with who say I
have no idea.
(08:00):
I have no idea.
I don't know what my brillianceis.
I don't know what that innate,unique value is that I bring to
the world.
I don't know.
I don't know and I don't knowhow to find it.
People have dedicated theirlives to careers without knowing
(08:22):
what their purpose is.
People have dedicated theirlives to specific work without
knowing the value that theybring to the world like nobody
else.
And that value has been withyou all of your life.
It doesn't just show up one daywhen you make the goal or get
(08:45):
the accomplishment across thefinish line, but that value has
been with you all along and I amconvinced without knowing and
being familiar with that value,you will not be fulfilled.
I'm convinced.
I am convinced withoutdiscovering your brilliance,
(09:07):
without knowing exactly who youare, whose you are and what you
bring, there will always be avoid.
I am working with someprofessional women who are now
walking into the empty neststage of their life, where their
children are moving on to dowhat they're supposed to do in
(09:30):
their life, and because thesewomen wrap their entire identity
around being mom.
Now that that title or thoseresponsibilities are changing
you're always mom, but it looksdifferent in different seasons.
Now that those responsibilitiesare changing, these very
(09:51):
accomplished, intelligent,beautiful women don't know who
they are anymore because theywere so buried that's the word,
they were so buried under theidentity and the responsibility
around being someone's mom, andnow they don't know who they are
(10:18):
.
And not just to mention notthose who have the experience of
motherhood, but I know andhonor those who desire the
experience of motherhood and didnot have that experience for
whatever reason, whether theywere never partnered or they
(10:39):
never were able to conceive, orthey were never able to birth a
child, for whatever reason.
I know that, the desire forwhat did not happen, for what
did not happen, thedisappointment when expectations
were not fulfilled.
There are folks who arestruggling with their own
(11:05):
identity and their own value,and this struggle is not new.
The struggle comes from throughour teenage years, through
going through puberty into 20sand early quarter life crisis,
through our 30s into the 40s,and it heads into midlife crisis
(11:29):
because we've never stopped toidentify who we are.
So I just want to share a fewthoughts with you today of how
we combat the quarter-lifecrisis, the midlife crisis, the
(11:50):
identity crisis, because that'swhat it is.
It's truly an identity crisis.
The first thing I want toencourage you to do is stop and
heal In doing the heart work.
We call this checking yourbaggage.
You cannot see what's in youuntil you have allowed time for
(12:15):
your heart to heal, and that'swith whatever life has brought
you.
I know that this applies toevery person in one way or
another, because if you engagewith any human being at any time
, you have the opportunity to bewounded.
Being at any time, you have theopportunity to be wounded, not
(12:40):
because I have lost my belief ormy trust in humanity.
It's because I understand thathuman beings are flawed and, as
such, we hurt each other.
So, whatever you haveexperienced in your life from
losing someone that you love, ormaybe a divorce, or maybe a
professional trauma.
Whatever you have been through,it is important to stop and
(13:02):
heal, check your baggage beforeyou move forward in life and try
to figure out who you are.
The wounds block your vision,the wounds skew your visions.
The wounds have an impact onyour decision-making.
There are folks who have chosenrelationships and chosen
(13:25):
professions and chosen careersand chosen places to live from a
wounded place.
I wonder if you would have madea different decision if you
were healed.
I wonder if the right decisionor best decision for you would
have been more clear if youwould have come at it from a
(13:46):
healed place as opposed to fromyour wounded place.
Wounds blind you.
They give you a blind side thatyou cannot see.
You have a blind spot thatblocks your ability to make a
good decision when you arewounded.
(14:08):
So the first step is to stopand heal.
Go to therapy, get a coach, gosee a good pastor.
Now hear me.
Now Y'all know here we tell thetruth.
Every pastor ain't a goodpastor and I'm not speaking
against pastors.
I love the pastors in my life.
But I want you to know choosewisely, have discernment, choose
(14:31):
in prayer Right.
So stop and heal.
Stop making decisions from yourwounded place.
Number two I want you toidentify the disappointment, say
it, talk about it.
What are you disappointed about?
What did not come out the waythat you expected?
(14:53):
What did you look for?
Long for desire in your lifethat did not manifest itself,
that did not come to fruition.
You need to speak thedisappointment.
It doesn't make it go away, butit does help you release and
(15:15):
refuse to carry, and even as I'msaying that, not just the
disappointment, but you need tospeak the shame.
You need to find a safe spaceright, the internet is not that
space.
Work may not be that space, butyou need to find a safe space
(15:37):
where you can tell the truthabout what you're disappointed
about and what you're ashamed of.
Shame can only live in darkness.
Shame cannot continue where weare willing to tell the truth.
I know that some of my familymembers and friends who love me
they think man, you tell a lotof your business on the podcast.
(15:58):
I don't know how you do that.
I do it because it frees me.
I know that keeping thingshidden will cause them to fester
, will cause them to grow bitterroots.
So truth is a revealer, truthis a healer, so you need to
(16:19):
speak what you're disappointedabout.
Speak where there is shame inyour life.
Number three don't be afraid tostart again.
In the episode three, where Ispoke about quarter life crisis,
I shared with you all how Istarted again at 27 years old by
(16:41):
moving in with my dad, and atthat point it felt shameful.
It felt like at 27 years old, Ishould have it all together and
not need a parent.
But it was the restart that Ineeded.
It started the trajectory ofwhere I am right now and I would
not be here without thatopportunity to start again.
(17:04):
And there have been other timeswhen I left my professional job
to do this full time was astart again.
And starting again doesn'tnecessarily mean you got to
leave your job, but sometimesyou feel the pressure, you feel
the press, you know it's time todo something different, but
you're afraid to step into thenew.
(17:27):
And I want to encourage youtoday that sometimes you need to
start again.
Sometimes you need a freshstart with the experience, with
the wisdom, with the skills,with the healing that you've
gained.
You need to start all overagain.
And finally, as I haveencouraged you so many times,
(17:51):
you need to discover yourbrilliance.
And, friend, that's hard to dowithout the first step.
That's hard to do before youstop and heal.
But you need to know the innate, unique value that you bring to
the world like nobody else andI'm talking specifically you,
specifically you.
(18:11):
What do you bring?
What do you do like nobody else?
What do we lose when you're nolonger here?
What do we gain when you walkinto the room?
And your brilliance doesn'thave to be a spotlight, it
doesn't have to be a microphonein your hand, it doesn't have to
be a podcast, it doesn't haveto be writing a book.
We in our culture have taughtthat unless it's publicly
(18:35):
acknowledged, it's not valuable.
And I'm here to tell you thatthat's not true.
Your brilliance is so familiarto you that you can't see it.
Your brilliance flows so freelyfrom you that you are blind to
it, and I want you to know thatyou are walking around making a
positive impact on peoplewithout even recognizing it,
(18:59):
without even knowing it, becauseyou have not placed value on
your brilliance.
I met with a phenomenal group ofeducators last week and their
situation is quite different,quite different.
The load that they carry isdifferent than any other school
(19:22):
that I've met with.
It's a very, very small staffand they all do it all.
They do all the things I'mtalking, from the cafeteria to
being the principal, to beingthe teacher.
They do it all.
They do it all.
The beautiful ending of mymeeting with these folks was
(19:42):
when we started talking aboutbrilliance.
Instead of talking aboutthemselves, they started
identifying brilliance in eachother and what folks could not
see about themselves.
Their colleagues began toidentify in them and share with
(20:03):
them, and it was such apowerfully moving experience
because you could see the lightbulb come on.
People were aware of theseparts of them, but I don't think
they thought it was significant, so it wasn't hidden to them,
(20:23):
but they didn't think it wasspecial in any way until someone
else in the room identified it.
So I just want you to know thatthere's a brilliance that you
pour out every day and you don'tthink it's special, you don't
think it has an impact, youdon't think it's worth anything.
(20:43):
But if you stop for a momentand listen to the people around
you, you might find out that youmake the difference in their
life.
That's the key to movingthrough and healing through
(21:04):
these crises is knowing who youare and knowing what you bring.
So, friends, I hope that, as wecontinue to journey together,
that you will continue doing thework of discovering your
brilliance.
You will continue doing thework of checking your baggage.
You will continue doing the workof discovering your brilliance.
You will continue doing thework of checking your baggage.
You will continue doing thework of building your boundaries
(21:26):
so that you can serve the worldbut also be fueled yourself.
It's about doing well and beingwell.
All right, listen, that's all Igot for you today.
I hope that this was helpfuland, as always, you know you are
powerful, you are significantand you are brilliant and you
(21:52):
are loved.
Love always, pbj.
I'll talk to you next week.
Bye.
You know, friend, in episode three of this podcast, I
spoke to you about the quarterlife crisis, this identity
crisis that folks between 25 and30 or so go through trying to
find themselves.
But now I'm watching thequarter life crisis turn into
(00:22):
the midlife crisis, specificallyfor my millennials, because
you're my people, you're thefolks that I hang out with the
most.
We need to talk about thisbecause we are still, even at
our big age, we are stillstruggling with our identity.
Let's talk about it, friend.
(00:47):
Hey, friend, I am Dr PatriceBuckner-Jackson, but you can
(01:12):
call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout, where we are
giving you the strategies forpouring out purpose without
enduring the consequences ofburnout.
And today, friend, we need totalk about this quarter life
crisis that has morphed into themidlife crisis.
(01:34):
So in episode three of this I'mpretty sure it's three, it's
three or four, but I'm prettysure it's episode three of this
podcast.
So four years ago, I took sometime to tell you all about a
season of my life in my 20s,late 20s, where I walked through
what I identified as a quarterlife crisis.
(01:57):
So many of us have heard abouta midlife crisis.
If you watch it in the movies.
It talks about people buyingmotorcycles and getting new
significant others and new haircolors and cutting the hair and
all kinds of stuff that peopleall of a sudden start to find
themselves.
But I became aware of this ideaof a quarter-life crisis
(02:23):
through my work with collegestudents and helping them
transition from college to theprofessional world.
But in doing my work inquarter-life crisis, I thought,
oh my gosh, I went through thisand I didn't even know what it
was.
Nobody sat me down and saidfriend, you're going through a
quarter-life crisis.
This is normal.
Other people experience this.
(02:44):
But this is why you're trippingright now and this is why
you're struggling right now.
I had no idea.
If you want to hear more aboutthat, definitely go back to
episode three.
I think the episode is calledMillennial Quarter Life Crisis,
so go check that out.
But here's why I want to talkto you today, because that was
(03:05):
four years ago and at that timeof the podcast I was focused on
millennials, young adults but ofcourse, now you know that this
podcast is focused on burnoutfor purposeful professionals,
specifically educators, right.
But as I am traveling and as I'mmeeting so many of you on the
(03:29):
road, what I'm recognizing isour quarter, life crisis is
transitioning, morphing into amidlife crisis because we never
resolved the identity issue.
Crisis because we neverresolved the identity issue.
(03:50):
So I am meeting professionalfolks who are seemingly
successful according towhoever's definition of success.
They have a job that they'reholding down, they are paying
their bills, they have beenaccomplished in their jobs,
they've been recognized in theirjobs, but they still have this
deep void of knowing who theyare.
(04:13):
These folks who aretransitioning into midlife
crisis are finding themselvesseverely disappointed.
They are disappointed in theoutcomes of their lives.
They are disappointed in missedexpectations or lost
expectations, things that theyexpected to happen but did not
(04:36):
happen.
They are frustrated in theirrelationships and in their
connections.
They are feeling disappointedin themselves because there was
a belief that by this time in mylife I should have it all
together.
By this point in my life Ireally should be smooth sailing.
(04:59):
I did all of this struggling inmy 20s and in my 30s, so I
didn't have to do it now.
They are frustrated in theircareer fields and in their jobs
because it has not fulfilledthem in the way that they desire
to be fulfilled.
As I travel, I am engaging withbrilliant professionals,
(05:24):
absolutely outstanding leaders,people who, when you meet them
in their professional setting,you would want them to be your
mentor, you would look up tothem, you would have respect for
them, as you should haverespect for them.
And there's a struggle.
(05:46):
There's an internal strugglethat they are experiencing
concerning their own identity,and I am convinced that that
struggle has not changed sincethe quarter life crisis.
The same struggles we have inour 20s to understand who am I?
Why am I here?
Why am I significant?
(06:08):
Who's going to love me?
Who should I trust?
How do I answer these hardquestions in life If those
questions were never answered?
There are folks who are stillstuck in the crisis and there
have been seasons of good, therehave been seasons of success,
(06:31):
there have been degrees andcertifications and job
promotions, and marriages andchildren and houses and all
kinds of things that have comealong, but somehow there was an
expectation that all of thesethings would be fulfilling.
Fulfilling.
And now, as we move towards ourmid-40s and into our 50s well,
(06:57):
millennials are not 50 yet, butI'm not just talking about
millennials.
This is all of us right.
This is Gen X.
This is all of us right.
As we move towards thosemid-40s and into our 50s, we're
looking back and trying tofigure out where we missed it.
(07:17):
I know professional phenomenalwomen who feel unfulfilled in
the relational area of theirlife and the social area of
their life.
I know very intelligent,accomplished men who feel very
unfulfilled, maybe in thefinances of their life, and this
(07:39):
is not gender specific.
Any human being can feel thesethings.
Right.
I have encountered folks as Itravel and have this
conversation about discoveringyour brilliance.
There's so many folks that Icome in contact with who say I
have no idea.
(08:00):
I have no idea.
I don't know what my brillianceis.
I don't know what that innate,unique value is that I bring to
the world.
I don't know.
I don't know and I don't knowhow to find it.
People have dedicated theirlives to careers without knowing
(08:22):
what their purpose is.
People have dedicated theirlives to specific work without
knowing the value that theybring to the world like nobody
else.
And that value has been withyou all of your life.
It doesn't just show up one daywhen you make the goal or get
(08:45):
the accomplishment across thefinish line, but that value has
been with you all along and I amconvinced without knowing and
being familiar with that value,you will not be fulfilled.
I'm convinced.
I am convinced withoutdiscovering your brilliance,
(09:07):
without knowing exactly who youare, whose you are and what you
bring, there will always be avoid.
I am working with someprofessional women who are now
walking into the empty neststage of their life, where their
children are moving on to dowhat they're supposed to do in
(09:30):
their life, and because thesewomen wrap their entire identity
around being mom.
Now that that title or thoseresponsibilities are changing
you're always mom, but it looksdifferent in different seasons.
Now that those responsibilitiesare changing, these very
(09:51):
accomplished, intelligent,beautiful women don't know who
they are anymore because theywere so buried that's the word,
they were so buried under theidentity and the responsibility
around being someone's mom, andnow they don't know who they are
(10:18):
.
And not just to mention notthose who have the experience of
motherhood, but I know andhonor those who desire the
experience of motherhood and didnot have that experience for
whatever reason, whether theywere never partnered or they
(10:39):
never were able to conceive, orthey were never able to birth a
child, for whatever reason.
I know that, the desire forwhat did not happen, for what
did not happen, thedisappointment when expectations
were not fulfilled.
There are folks who arestruggling with their own
(11:05):
identity and their own value,and this struggle is not new.
The struggle comes from throughour teenage years, through
going through puberty into 20sand early quarter life crisis,
through our 30s into the 40s,and it heads into midlife crisis
(11:29):
because we've never stopped toidentify who we are.
So I just want to share a fewthoughts with you today of how
we combat the quarter-lifecrisis, the midlife crisis, the
(11:50):
identity crisis, because that'swhat it is.
It's truly an identity crisis.
The first thing I want toencourage you to do is stop and
heal In doing the heart work.
We call this checking yourbaggage.
You cannot see what's in youuntil you have allowed time for
(12:15):
your heart to heal, and that'swith whatever life has brought
you.
I know that this applies toevery person in one way or
another, because if you engagewith any human being at any time
, you have the opportunity to bewounded.
Being at any time, you have theopportunity to be wounded, not
(12:40):
because I have lost my belief ormy trust in humanity.
It's because I understand thathuman beings are flawed and, as
such, we hurt each other.
So, whatever you haveexperienced in your life from
losing someone that you love, ormaybe a divorce, or maybe a
professional trauma.
Whatever you have been through,it is important to stop and
(13:02):
heal, check your baggage beforeyou move forward in life and try
to figure out who you are.
The wounds block your vision,the wounds skew your visions.
The wounds have an impact onyour decision-making.
There are folks who have chosenrelationships and chosen
(13:25):
professions and chosen careersand chosen places to live from a
wounded place.
I wonder if you would have madea different decision if you
were healed.
I wonder if the right decisionor best decision for you would
have been more clear if youwould have come at it from a
(13:46):
healed place as opposed to fromyour wounded place.
Wounds blind you.
They give you a blind side thatyou cannot see.
You have a blind spot thatblocks your ability to make a
good decision when you arewounded.
(14:08):
So the first step is to stopand heal.
Go to therapy, get a coach, gosee a good pastor.
Now hear me.
Now Y'all know here we tell thetruth.
Every pastor ain't a goodpastor and I'm not speaking
against pastors.
I love the pastors in my life.
But I want you to know choosewisely, have discernment, choose
(14:31):
in prayer Right.
So stop and heal.
Stop making decisions from yourwounded place.
Number two I want you toidentify the disappointment, say
it, talk about it.
What are you disappointed about?
What did not come out the waythat you expected?
(14:53):
What did you look for?
Long for desire in your lifethat did not manifest itself,
that did not come to fruition.
You need to speak thedisappointment.
It doesn't make it go away, butit does help you release and
(15:15):
refuse to carry, and even as I'msaying that, not just the
disappointment, but you need tospeak the shame.
You need to find a safe spaceright, the internet is not that
space.
Work may not be that space, butyou need to find a safe space
(15:37):
where you can tell the truthabout what you're disappointed
about and what you're ashamed of.
Shame can only live in darkness.
Shame cannot continue where weare willing to tell the truth.
I know that some of my familymembers and friends who love me
they think man, you tell a lotof your business on the podcast.
(15:58):
I don't know how you do that.
I do it because it frees me.
I know that keeping thingshidden will cause them to fester
, will cause them to grow bitterroots.
So truth is a revealer, truthis a healer, so you need to
(16:19):
speak what you're disappointedabout.
Speak where there is shame inyour life.
Number three don't be afraid tostart again.
In the episode three, where Ispoke about quarter life crisis,
I shared with you all how Istarted again at 27 years old by
(16:41):
moving in with my dad, and atthat point it felt shameful.
It felt like at 27 years old, Ishould have it all together and
not need a parent.
But it was the restart that Ineeded.
It started the trajectory ofwhere I am right now and I would
not be here without thatopportunity to start again.
(17:04):
And there have been other timeswhen I left my professional job
to do this full time was astart again.
And starting again doesn'tnecessarily mean you got to
leave your job, but sometimesyou feel the pressure, you feel
the press, you know it's time todo something different, but
you're afraid to step into thenew.
(17:27):
And I want to encourage youtoday that sometimes you need to
start again.
Sometimes you need a freshstart with the experience, with
the wisdom, with the skills,with the healing that you've
gained.
You need to start all overagain.
And finally, as I haveencouraged you so many times,
(17:51):
you need to discover yourbrilliance.
And, friend, that's hard to dowithout the first step.
That's hard to do before youstop and heal.
But you need to know the innate, unique value that you bring to
the world like nobody else andI'm talking specifically you,
specifically you.
(18:11):
What do you bring?
What do you do like nobody else?
What do we lose when you're nolonger here?
What do we gain when you walkinto the room?
And your brilliance doesn'thave to be a spotlight, it
doesn't have to be a microphonein your hand, it doesn't have to
be a podcast, it doesn't haveto be writing a book.
We in our culture have taughtthat unless it's publicly
(18:35):
acknowledged, it's not valuable.
And I'm here to tell you thatthat's not true.
Your brilliance is so familiarto you that you can't see it.
Your brilliance flows so freelyfrom you that you are blind to
it, and I want you to know thatyou are walking around making a
positive impact on peoplewithout even recognizing it,
(18:59):
without even knowing it, becauseyou have not placed value on
your brilliance.
I met with a phenomenal group ofeducators last week and their
situation is quite different,quite different.
The load that they carry isdifferent than any other school
(19:22):
that I've met with.
It's a very, very small staffand they all do it all.
They do all the things I'mtalking, from the cafeteria to
being the principal, to beingthe teacher.
They do it all.
They do it all.
The beautiful ending of mymeeting with these folks was
(19:42):
when we started talking aboutbrilliance.
Instead of talking aboutthemselves, they started
identifying brilliance in eachother and what folks could not
see about themselves.
Their colleagues began toidentify in them and share with
(20:03):
them, and it was such apowerfully moving experience
because you could see the lightbulb come on.
People were aware of theseparts of them, but I don't think
they thought it was significant, so it wasn't hidden to them,
(20:23):
but they didn't think it wasspecial in any way until someone
else in the room identified it.
So I just want you to know thatthere's a brilliance that you
pour out every day and you don'tthink it's special, you don't
think it has an impact, youdon't think it's worth anything.
(20:43):
But if you stop for a momentand listen to the people around
you, you might find out that youmake the difference in their
life.
That's the key to movingthrough and healing through
(21:04):
these crises is knowing who youare and knowing what you bring.
So, friends, I hope that, as wecontinue to journey together,
that you will continue doing thework of discovering your
brilliance.
You will continue doing thework of checking your baggage.
You will continue doing the workof discovering your brilliance.
You will continue doing thework of checking your baggage.
You will continue doing thework of building your boundaries
(21:26):
so that you can serve the worldbut also be fueled yourself.
It's about doing well and beingwell.
All right, listen, that's all Igot for you today.
I hope that this was helpfuland, as always, you know you are
powerful, you are significantand you are brilliant and you
(21:52):
are loved.
Love always, pbj.
I'll talk to you next week.
Bye.
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