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February 19, 2025 24 mins

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Can workplace culture truly change the way we handle burnout and stress? Dive into a transformative conversation with me, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, also known as PBJ, as we explore the critical importance of creating a supportive environment that values self-care. In this episode, we tackle the fears and anxieties that often prevent open discussions about burnout, drawing inspiration from Brene Brown's "Atlas of the Heart." We delve into the concept of being "in the weeds" and stress the significance of collaboration and support during challenging times. This is a call to action for leaders to integrate micro breaks and rhythm resets into daily routines, fostering a workplace culture where expressing struggles is met with empathy rather than judgment. 

Join me as we highlight the stark contrast between industries like education and the restaurant sector, where systems allow for stepping back when overwhelmed. We discuss the pressing need for a supportive language and cultural shift in professions plagued by burnout. The episode is a heartfelt plea to establish crisis plans for burnout, akin to those for natural disasters, to prevent staff from reaching their breaking point. Plus, we address the importance of setting boundaries and managing responsibilities amidst life's chaos. You're invited to continue this critical conversation with us next week, as we share more strategies for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Remember, you are powerful, significant, brilliant, and loved.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There is a fear for telling people that you're
overwhelmed.
There is anxiety for saying Iam burnt out.
There is a fear that folkswon't think you can handle the
job.
They won't think you're goodenough, you're smart enough,
you're strong enough, you'reenough.
There's a fear that you will beheld back from future

(00:21):
opportunities because peopleknow that you have a weakness
held back from futureopportunities because people
know that you have a weakness.
There's a fear that you willnot be invited to a seat at the
table because people see you asa weak link.
There is no opportunity or noculture for us to honestly speak
up and say I'm in the weeds orI'm blown.

(00:43):
And what happens is peoplecontinue to serve and operate
and teach and educate underthese consequences.
They continue to show up,acting like everything's okay
when it's not okay.
They continue coming andknowing that they are at their

(01:05):
breaking point and they show upuntil they break.
Hey, hey, hey.
Friend, welcome back to theDisrupting Burnout Podcast,
where we are giving you thestrategies for pouring out
purpose without continuing tolive through burnout.
Friend, if you are new here,I'm Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson,

(01:26):
but you can call me PBJ, and Iam so excited to share with you
Now.
This week, as you know, we'vebeen talking about a rhythm
reset, so if you've missed theconversation, go back to the
last couple of episodes.
Make sure you catch up so thatyou're on the same page with us.
Today I want to change focus alittle bit.

(01:48):
I'm still talking about arhythm reset, but one of the
challenges I hear over and overand over from you all as I
travel, as you email me, it'sPBJ.
My folks at work don't carenothing about me needing a reset
, pbj.
I don't know that I can do thisbecause my boss, my leader, my

(02:09):
organization they don'tprioritize this kind of thing,
so it's not going to work for me.
Today I want to talk to theleaders.
I want to talk to the bosses,the supervisors, the managers,
the folks who have someinfluence, some leverage, some
power to make space for peopleto take care of themselves.

(02:32):
And the first thing I want tosay is friend, I'm not blaming
you.
I know that you exist in asystem where you're trying to
survive as well.
I know that you have bosses andbosses, bosses and bosses,
bosses, bosses that you have tosubmit, to align with, but at

(02:52):
the same time, you see the needof your team.
If you're listening to thispodcast, you are a boss who
cares, because jerks can't hangwith us.
So I know for sure if you arelistening to this podcast, you
are a leader who wants to takecare of your folks, who wants to
do well, who wants to create ahealthy environment.

(03:15):
But there are often so manyexternal pressures that impact
our ability to do that.
So I want to give you somethoughts today of what you can
do as a leader to create anenvironment for your folks to be
able to take a breath and torecover from all the things.

(03:41):
Pbj.
I can't stop.
I don't have time to stop.
If I stop, all of this fallsapart.
We're short-staffed.
I don't have anybody that cantake my place at work.
I don't have support at home orat work to stop.
Friends, if any of thesethoughts come to mind when you

(04:01):
think about taking a break, youare the person who needs to stop
the most.
I want to offer you our stopplan Simple.
I want you to use the samestrategies and wisdom and skills
that you use at work and I'mgoing to guide you to using

(04:22):
those strategies to plan microbreaks.
I'm not talking about a monthsabbatical, but can you
incorporate micro breaks intoyour life as a regular rhythm of
rest so that while you areserving, while you are giving,
you can have moments of revival,so that you can live the life

(04:45):
you're living sustainably.
Friend, you need to grab thisstop plan.
Make sure to click the link inthe show notes or wherever
you're watching or listening tothis, so that you can get what
you need right now.
It can't wait.
I know you do a wonderful job,but people don't know what it

(05:05):
cost you to be you, and you knowwhat the cost has been.
It's time to stop.
Grab the plan.
Today I was reading Atlas of theHeart by Brene Brown.
If you haven't read it, it is aread that you need to pick up.
In Atlas of the Heart, breneshared how she worked in the

(05:29):
restaurant industry many yearsago.
And in working in therestaurant industry they had
some language that they woulduse when people were feeling
overwhelmed, right.
So Brene shared if you say I'min the weeds, in the weeds means
it's busy, it's hectic, there'sa lot going on, but if I can

(05:53):
just get somebody to help me alittle bit, we can get through
this together.
So in the weeds means if youwill take drinks to table 20, if
you will take appetizers totable 47, if we do this together
, then we'll get through thisrush and all is well.

(06:13):
So in the weeds is a way to saythat I need a little bit of
help, friend, I need a littlebit of help.
I'm okay, I don't need to stepdown, I don't need to step out.
But if we could collaborate, ifwe could support each other, if
you could give me a little bitof help, we could push through
this busy window and we wouldall be okay.
Brene shared.

(06:35):
The other statement was I'mblown.
And, according to Brene Brown,if someone in the restaurant
industry says Brene Brown, ifsomeone in the restaurant
industry says I'm blown,everybody else takes over.
If you say I'm blown, folksdon't even ask you what you need

(06:58):
.
There are no questions asked.
If you say I'm blown, you gooutside, you go sit in your car,
you go in the bathroom and cry.
Whatever you need to do, youjust go.
And we got it.
When you say I'm blown, yourcolleagues go to the hostess.
What tables did PBJ have?
Okay, I'm going to those tables.
How are you?
What can I do for you?
You need a drink refill.
Are you waiting on yourappetizer.

(07:20):
They don't even expect me tosay what is needed when I'm
blown.
I just get a break andeverybody jumps in to help until
I can take the 10 minutes, the15 minutes to come back and I
can jump back in.
What I've found and I know thatmany of you who follow this

(07:42):
podcast, you are educators, soI'm going to speak specifically
to us for a minute becausethat's what I know what I've
found specifically in educationis we don't have language for
I'm in the weeds or I'm blown,and not only do we not have
language for that, but we don'thave space for that.
There is a fear for tellingpeople that you're overwhelmed.

(08:06):
There is anxiety for saying Iam burnt out.
There is a fear that folkswon't think you can handle the
job.
They won't think you're goodenough, you're smart enough,
you're strong enough, you'reenough.
There's a fear that you will beheld back from future
opportunities because peopleknow that you have a weakness.

(08:27):
There's a fear that you willnot be invited to a seat at the
table because people see you asa weak link.
There is no opportunity or noculture for us to honestly speak
up and say I'm in the weeds orI'm blown and what happens is

(08:48):
people continue to serve andoperate and teach and educate
under these consequences.
They continue to show up actinglike everything's okay when
it's not okay.
They continue coming andknowing that they are at their
breaking point.

(09:08):
And they show up until theybreak.
And then we sit around andwonder well, what happened to
so-and-so?
Well, I never saw that coming.
Well, we are so surprised.
Friend, that's my story.
That's what happened to me.
I pushed myself until I couldnot push any longer and in a

(09:29):
moment, I made one decision thatchanged my entire life.
When I walked away from thatjob that day, people were
shocked because it didn't.
It did not align with mycharacter, it did not align with
who I am or who they knew me tobe.
But what they didn't know is Iwas blown and I had been blown

(09:53):
for a long time and I didn'tfeel like I had language or the
opportunity or grace to say it,so I just kept pushing until my
body gave out on me.
So if you are a leader or asupervisor, manager, executive,

(10:14):
if you have leverage, if youhave a seat at the table, if you
have influence, develop somelanguage for people to say it's
hectic and I need help and I amoverwhelmed and I need to stop.
Give people permission to behonest about where they are and

(10:42):
have a crisis plan in place forwhat you're going to do when
that shows up.
We have a crisis plan foreverything else in education.
We have a crisis plan fortornadoes.
We have a crisis plan forhurricanes.
We have a crisis plan for fires, and on and on and on, but what

(11:03):
we don't have is a crisis planfor burnout.
We don't have a crisis plan forpeople who have had enough and
can't keep giving.
But guess what?
We still have to respondbecause at some point they get
sick, they're on FMLA, they quit, they walk away or they're

(11:24):
present, but they're not givingand serving because they don't
have it to give anymore.
So we still have to take careof the problem.
Ignoring the problem doesn'tmake it go away.
So why not create language andgive grace for people to speak
up and say I'm in the weeds orI'm blown and I need some help?

(11:46):
So create the language, createa culture that allows people to
tell the truth about how they'redoing and then make a plan of
what we're going to do whenthose people speak up.
So if I were in a restaurantand I said I'm in the weeds.
Folks are going to say what doyou need?
I got you.
What do you need I got you.

(12:07):
So in education, or in yourhealthcare organization or in
your corporation, what is theplan for when people raise their
hand and say I need help, Ineed some support here.
Or what is your plan whenpeople step up and say I'm blown
, I'm out?
Here are a few things that Iwant you to think about.

(12:28):
First of all, I want you tothink about what is the
preemptive step, so what can wedo before people hit a wall?
One of the examples I've givenyou before and I think it's
appropriate to share here is asmy team and I, when I worked on

(12:52):
campus as my team and I werekind of continuing to work
through the challenges of thepandemic and they were all
exhausted I served a team offolks who were considered
essential in education.
Essential means you don't gohome when the crisis happens.
Other people might be home forthe snow day, but you're not.
Other people might be workingfrom home during the pandemic,

(13:15):
but you're not, because if mightbe working from home during the
pandemic, but you're notBecause if students are on
campus.
We are on campus.
Essential people don't get thebreak that others might get when
there's a crisis going on.
That's our go time.
That's the time that we have toshow up, we have to act, we
have to be there.
So my folks, being essential,were exhausted.

(13:37):
They were exhausted, they wereovertaxed and it wasn't over.
The demand was still.
We still had students, we stillhad to take care of them, we
still had to isolate folks andfeed them and all the things.
So we sat down the leaders inmy unit.
We sat down and had aconversation of what do people

(13:58):
really need?
Right, because in that time,educators were saying well, we
don't have more money to payfolks, we can't pay you more
money or we can't allow you tocontinue working from home
because the mandates have comethat we've got to be back on
campus.
So what I heard from educatorsis there's nothing we can do If
we can't do those surface things.

(14:19):
There's nothing we can do.
But I sat down with my leadersand said we know we can't do
those surface things, there'snothing we can do.
But I sat down with my leadersand said we know we can't do
those surface things, we knowthat those are not options.
What do people really need,like what do they need most now
and how can we make that happen?
And in that discussion, what wecame up with is people needed
time.

(14:39):
They needed time.
They were going from Zoommeeting to Zoom meeting to Zoom
meeting to Zoom meeting, andevery one of those Zoom meetings
they got assignments and therewas no time to even do the
assignments.
So people were serving studentsand in meetings all day and
then at night at home they weredoing all the assignments that
they didn't have time to doduring the day because they're
in meeting after meeting, aftermeeting after meeting.

(15:01):
So there was no time to think,there was no time to be creative
, there was no time to bestrategic.
People were exhausted.
So what our folks had sharedwith us over and over is they
needed time, they needed space,right, so we're not out here
just giving people free days off.
But what we decided was tocreate a proposal for what we

(15:25):
called R&R reading and researchdays.
So we created a proposal thatwould allow each member of our
unit to ask in advance and takeat least two R&R days a month,
and we defined an R&R day as aday that you are focused on one

(15:48):
particular project or oneparticular thing.
You're not checking email thatday.
You've got an out of officemessage on your email.
You're not answering the phonethat day.
The rest of us in the officewill cover you that day.
You may not even be physicallyin the office that day.
You are working, but we areacting like you are not here and
you may not physically be here.

(16:10):
On your reading and researchday, you may visit another
campus and you may learn aboutsomething that they've got going
on that we're trying toimplement.
On your reading and researchday, you may read a book that
aligns with something that we'retrying to accomplish or do some
research on whatever our nextsteps or our goals are.

(16:30):
On your reading and researchday, you may be building a
student leadership trainingprogram or planning for RA
training in August.
On your reading and researchday, you are doing work.
You're doing, you're checkingsomething off your list, you're
doing something within yourresponsibilities, but you're
doing it in a way where you areuninterrupted, where you can

(16:54):
think clearly.
You can have your reading andresearch day in a park, you can
have it in a coffee shop,wherever.
The only requirement because wewanted to be accountable we
wanted to be.
It wasn't that we didn't trustour people, but we wanted to be
accountable to all of ourleaders.
The only requirement one yougot to be approved of it.

(17:15):
Only one person out of eachdepartment, so out of each
office, could be gone each day,so we couldn't have three and
four people out at the same time.
So you got to get itpre-approved.
You got to get it pre-approvedOnly one person out of the
office each day.
For that Now, emergencies comeup and we'll figure that out but
only one person on R&R each day.
You got to be working onsomething that is directly

(17:38):
connected to your job, your jobresponsibilities, your projects.
And then the other thing is yougot to share some proof at the
end of the day.
So your proof may be picturesfrom the campus visit.
Your proof may be a quicksummary or a paragraph of the
reading that you did or theresearch that you did, or a

(18:00):
draft of the program that you'replanning, whatever.
But you had to turn in someproof of the work that you
accomplished that day to yoursupervisor by the close of
business.
Those were our responsibilities.
Again, we want to beaccountable, but we want to
honor our people.
So what can you do to preventfolks from hitting rock bottom?

(18:24):
Stop telling yourself there'snothing you can do.
There are opportunities for youthat are in your hand, that
people would easily say yes toif you would just allow yourself
a moment to be creative and youdon't have to come up with it
by yourself.
If you supervise people, askthem, ask them what they need.

(18:46):
People will tell you what theyneed if you just ask them.
So what can you do to preventpeople from hitting the wall?
Next, what do you do whenthey're in the weeds and it's
hectic, right?
So what help can you bring in?
Are there graduate assistantsor student leaders or volunteers

(19:10):
?
People want to help you.
They want to learn from you.
They're not asking forcompensation all the time.
Sometimes people just want tobe in your space and help you.
So who can you recruit?
Who can you recruit to help?
Or how can you exchange help?
How can you assign one personthis week and a different person

(19:32):
next week so that everybody cantake a breath?
Look for ways to allow peopleto get a little bit of space
Y'all.
There is so much going on rightnow.
There's so much going on in ourworld right now.
If we don't find space forpeople to rest, recover and

(19:56):
reset, we're going to lose ourbest people, not because they
don't care, not because they'renot passionate about the work,
but because they just cannotkeep living like this.
So think about it.
What can you do when you need alittle extra help?
Is there another department, oreven another company, another

(20:20):
person?
Collaboration is key.
We don't have to compete allthe time.
Who is your peer and how canyou reach out to them so that
you can be of service to themand they can be of service to
you?
And when people are blown, Iwant you to find ways for them
to stop completely.

(20:42):
Let go, because if you don't,you're going to have to when
they're out on FMLA, when, godforbid, they are in the hospital
, when we have lost themEducators, y'all already know

(21:03):
what I'm saying.
We have lost people to deathbecause they didn't have a way
to say I'm blown, and I can'tkeep doing this.
So don't wait.
Sit with your people, getcreative, strategic, strategic

(21:25):
and wise, and find ways that youcan support each other, and not
just the staff but leader.
You needed to.
The research shows us.
The Gallup research from 2024shows us that how the team is
doing is a direct reflection ofhow the leader is doing.
So you may not let them see it,you may not be saying it, but I

(21:49):
see you and you're tired too.
So this solution, this newculture, this direction should
not just be for your people, butthey need to see you and your
humanity as well, because theywill do what you do, not what
you say.
If you say, our culture is now,you can say when you're blown,

(22:13):
and we're going to take care ofyou and somebody needs to be
taking care of you.
All right, friend, that's all Igot for you this week.
I just wanted to really pauseand say to those of you who are
leaders, managers, executiveswe've got to start creating an
environment where our people canbe honest and vulnerable and

(22:35):
when they can say they need helpand we've got to have a crisis
plan in place for how we'regoing to help them.
And crisis plan doesn't have tobe elaborate 10 page plan,
right Like in the restaurant inthe weeds, means we're going to
take those tables together.
I'm blown.
Means you get 15 minutes.

(22:55):
Goodbye, get out of here, andwe're going to do everything
until you can come back.
The simple thing is often themost profound.
All right, goodness, we'regoing to keep talking about this
.
We'll be back next week anddefinitely giving you more
specifics of how to stop.
When you got all the thingsgoing on, when you got all the

(23:19):
responsibilities, or when youhave people in your life who
don't honor boundaries, how canyou stop then?
I'm coming back to help you.
All right, friend, as always,you are powerful, you are
significant and you arebrilliant and you are loved.
Love always, pbj.
I'll see you next week.
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