83. One Millimeter Movement

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You think you need to do thesebig things to have big results?

(00:04):
The small things, the millimeterthings become big things over
time, and they're more palatablefor me.
Hey, friends, it is Dr. PatriceBuckner Jackson again with you

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know, you call me Dr. PBJ.
Listen, this series of women whodefined disruption is so good.
Now I know it was supposed to befor March for Women's History
Month. But we can't stop becauseI have more powerful women to
introduce you to. So here we go.
Let's keep going. So the woman,listen, hold on, because I need

(00:49):
y'all, I need you to be in aspace that you can receive all
this love today. Because what Ican guarantee you is when you
leave this space with us today,you are going to know you are
loved, and you will know howvaluable you are. I met this
woman at a conference lastOctober. And as soon as I saw

(01:11):
her, I knew there was somethingspecial about her. And you know
how you don't want to stare likeyou. You don't want to be rude.
But it was just somethingmagnetic. I had no idea who she
was, we were all waiting to gointo a VIP event. I had no idea
who she was. But it sayssomething about this woman. And
then as we go through the event,and I noticed she's one of the

(01:34):
panelists. And then the nextday, she's the host. Listen. And
it's not even about thosepositions. I watched this woman
love on every woman in thatroom. Not just from the stage.
But I'm talking hugs andcompliments for everyone that

(01:56):
came into her space. And I havebeen drawn to her love ever
since. So without further ado,and she is so accomplished. And
we'll get into all of that. Butbefore we get to her
accomplishments, I need out ofme her heart. So I have the
honor of introducing you all toLia Valencia Key. Lia, thank you

(02:23):
so much for being here with us.
It's such an honor, I youropening is everything like I've
been I've kept me I'm like whosecomments like I want to be. I'm
your soul. And I just love howyou talk and everything. And
then when you're introducingthis person, I'm starting to cry

(02:46):
like I'm already. It's such anhonor. It's a blessing. It's a
joy to have this time and momentwith you and every heart that's
listening. I'm grateful to behere. My name is Lia Valencia
Key i, i love to share who I amfrom a perspective of where I

(03:10):
come from. Because I I feel likeyour journey is your power. And
how I then I think we need to goall the way back to our journey
because curates who we are. Andmy journey started. And super
humble beginnings inPhiladelphia, Pennsylvania, when

(03:32):
I mean humble I mean poverty. Iwas born in one of the most
crime ridden violent areas ofPhiladelphia, and it was my
mother, single mother, bornthree children, myself, the
youngest and my sister and mybrother, and we were born into

(03:54):
poverty. The only memories thatI have in the beginning are
living in an under basement ofsomeone's home in this
neighborhood. That was violencewritten throughout the streets,
drug transactions on a corner.
Just just chaos and traumaaround us. And then I like to

(04:15):
say that moment went frompoverty to destitute when my
mother broke her leg and threeplaces and she could no longer
do the little work that she wasable to do to afford that
basement one bedroom apartmentfor four people. And she's
getting us back from school. Andthere's a padlock on the door.

(04:37):
And what that meant was thissingle mother with three
children had no place to takeher children. And I remember I
blacked out I always share Iblacked out a lot of traumatic
things probably coping. Butthere is things that I vividly
remember and I remember and I'myoung, I will give you age
perspective on maybe To thesecond grade, third grade age.

(05:01):
So I don't understand thedynamics. But what's really
powerful is I understood feelingI could feel I could feel the
pain that was happening rightnow looking at this lock on the
door. And then looking at mymother's face, I knew there was
something tragic that hadhappened to the entire family.

(05:22):
And that took us to a homelessshelter, woman's homeless
shelter. And I love to paintthat picture. Because if no one
has experienced that, I'll showyou what minds look like
visually. If you can imagine agym room, a big room. And cots
if anyone knows what a cot is,is these fold up metal beds. And
these little cots are one footaway from each other filling the

(05:47):
entire room. And the mother onlygets one cut to a family. So
that means mothers and childrenare huddled on this cot caught
up to cut, cut after cut fitroom filled with mothers. That's
the trauma of it to these.
Everyone's homeless in here. Andso you hear crying and moaning

(06:10):
and hopelessness and profanityand just everything that you can
visualize as dark trauma goingon around us. But I love to
share one of the most magical, Icall them seeds that was planted
in my life from my mother'swords, she looked down at us in
the middle of this sorrow. Andshe told her three children,

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your predicament does notdetermine your destiny. And that
was magical to me, I must admitI'm second or third grade, I
don't know what she's talkingabout. I'm still hearing all of
the crying and everything. Butit was implanted in my heart.
And so I have to share thatbecause everyone that's

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listening words are powerful.
And they're seeds. They could beseeds of greatness, or they
could be seeds of destruction,however you decide to use them.
And my mother planted thebeautiful seed that I took in my
heart and we stayed in thehomeless shelter for several
years. So what that started tohappen was, I started in third

(07:18):
person, and I left because somepeople don't like that little
Lea myself start to become myenvironment. So I started to
become negative. I start to talkthe way I heard everyone
speaking I start to failliterally in every class. In
school. If lunch had a grade, Iwas failing it because that's

(07:41):
what I saw in there. The secondlight moment. I love to express
now that no I want the first onewas a seed because it was just
that my soul. This was a lightmoment because I feel like it it
turned on the light for myentire life. And I'm coming back
to the homeless shelter fromschool. And my mother standing

(08:04):
at that front door. And and whenI greet meet her, she asked me
one question, what two parts? Doyou want to be a follower Lea
leader, Leah. And now I'm aboutfifth sixth grade. So I'm still
young, and I don't understandwhat she's saying. And she

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continues, and she explains shesays because right now you're
following. And what you're doingis you're gonna follow and be
exactly what you're followingand see. So you, you can be that
oralia You can choose to lead.
You can choose to lead yourlife, you can choose to listen

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to the inner whisper and theinner light inside of you. And
you can choose to lead all theway to your destiny, Leah. And
now she said you choose and shewalked away. And she blessed me
with a light Gift of Choice.
This more miraculous conceptthat's out in the world that I
didn't know about. And Iremember it being like a light

(09:08):
bulb to me literally. I wasexposed to what was true.
Because I thought I had to bewhat I saw truthfully, people
talk like that I talk like thatthey not studying, I don't study
I thought that's what we do. Andwhen my mother blessed me with
the understanding that there isthis inner voice inside and I
knew it was the inner voicetruthfully, because I never felt

(09:30):
good doing these things. Ialways wanted something
different. I always sawdifferent things for me, but I
feel like that was justsomething but when she exposed
that no, that was your that'syour inner light. That is your
whisper of godly destiny. Andall you have to do is choose it
and as she she didn't, it'sfine. It was hard but I guess

(09:52):
that was for me to find outright? But what she did do is
juxtapose that do you want to beI'm here, because that's what
you want gonna be. And I alreadyknew it was clear, I didn't want
this. This inner light that wasnew to me is a good choice to
choose, because I don't knowwhat that has for me, but I'm
sure it'll be different thanthis. And I'll just leave that.

(10:14):
And I just start choosing,choosing and choosing. The next
day, I went back to school, andI asked my teacher like, how do
I get better grades? How do Ihow do I see beyond where I'm
at. And so I'll share it withanyone who's listening. First of
all, listening to inside of you,not outside of you. And I know

(10:35):
it's really hard. And sometimesyou don't know the difference.
But when you can get still andhear what God has for you, I
call it God. But whoever youdefine that whisper is, and
really just start to listen towhat is for you, then the next
question is to start askingquestions out in the world, and
questions will be answered toyou. And they'll be Earth Angels

(10:58):
that will give you little littlekeys, that will help unlock the
next parts of your journey.
Oh, Lia, oh my gosh, who there'sso much to unpack here. First of
all, I just want to honor yourmom, I want to, I want to take

(11:21):
this moment and honor yourmother, the woman who made the
decision, regardless of ourcircumstances, our trouble
what's going on around us rightnow, I am going to pour light
into these children that havebeen given to me. Because in

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that circumstance, I'm surethere were many mothers in that
same space that did not havelike to share with their babies,
not even chaining them, you canonly give what you have. And
sometimes the people who raisedus just didn't have it to give

(12:03):
sometimes they didn't have it togive. But there was something in
your mother, there was somethingin your mother that caused her
to travail in the midst ofeverything that seemed
impossible, and to continue tosee light in her children and in

(12:25):
the world. So I just want tostop and honor your mother and
honor the way you honor her.
Thank you,I'm gonna honor the way you
honor her because the truth iswhat you're walking in now. And
we'll get to all of that startedwith that. See? Absolutely. It
started with that. See, so youare living in the manifestation

(12:48):
of what she deposited in theearth. So I just have to hold
that. Thank you. And so forevery loving being that list
listening, what seeds are youplanting? What light can you

(13:09):
find? And everyone's not goingthrough darkness. So my story is
not a story of my story is astory of darkness, finding the
light every moment in my life.
But maybe, maybe you're in thelight and want to find more
light because that's what Godhas for you. Right? So wherever
you are, what seeds are youplanting? And what light Are you

(13:34):
seeking. And when you live in asowing and seeking moment, it's
just a it's a beautiful lifebecause life overall is
challenging Mises and adultsthat it keeps going, but when
the way to make it beautiful, ina way to look and say, Oh my

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God, look, look at what I'vebeen blessed with is to be in a
seed message of just sowing loveand beauty in the world beyond
whatever is the true predicamentaround it. And when you so that
in and you believe it so muchand you seek light it will shine

(14:18):
for you. It has to weigh on mylife and oh, we're all human. So
I love being able to share myvoice because it's a
representation of everythingthat's possible for anyone who's
listening.
Yes, absolutely. And and whenyou talk about the light of

(14:39):
choice, right so then it startedwith a see but then she gave me
this power right she gave methis light of choice to say I
know what you see around you.
But I need to bring yourattention to this light called
choice that you actually get tochoose right there is actually
another option And I love thatfor this community to hear.

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Because regardless of where yourstage in life is right now,
whether you feel like you are inthe belly of the trouble, or if
you feel like it's fine. Like,it's okay, I'm good.
And I know, I know, I knowthere's something whispering in

(15:23):
my heart, but it's fine. Thatpart is fine. That just because
you're fine doesn't mean it'snot a destiny. Progressively
waiting for you. Right? Fine.
Find is probably one of the mostdangerous places peace is the
beautiful place peace isdifferent than fine. Yes, we

(15:43):
started the fine, fine, this issettling. I mean, they could be,
I could do I see differentthings for me. But right now,
right, right here, it's fine.
But pieces is a tranquillity ofjust being one with your human
emotion, and your surroundings.
And, and this is this is well,in my soul. That's what peace

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and peace is ever growing inevery level. And we should
always seek peace, in everythingwe do, even in even in the
turmoil of life, finding peacein it. Because that's where
growth. That's where love,that's where joy all of it grows
from a thing of peace. And Ithink it's an under serve word

(16:32):
is an underserved emotion. Wedon't we never talk about living
in a state of peace. Becausewe're always supposed to be
grinding, pushing, striving,seeking and all of those things
are great, if you can do it, inpeace, but most of us do it and

(16:56):
stress to do it and worry mostof us do it and angst and
anxiety. That's not what God Icall God or divine. Whoever your
higher power really has for you.
Yeah, all of life should beimbalanced and in peace, where

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it's really well in your soul,even as you're growing. And so
just continuously looking forthat peace but not being like
it's fine. Because you go forYes, yes, this piece you said
piece is not fine. I gottahighlight that. It's not the
same thing. piece is also notcomfort. Hear me? Always

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comfort, and you can find peace,even in the midst of the trouble
as a matter of finding peace, inthe midst of the trouble will
help you find your way out.
Yeah. Thatpeace in the midst of the

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discomfort, the the sorrow, thehardship, the tragedy. When you
can, there will limit peace isalso not reasoning. No people
think that to have peace, I needto understand why that's

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happening. That's not peace. Itcould be peace, that could be a
way to find peace. But peace isa really is this really
phenomenon energy that youshould always seek in the midst
of everything, where it's wellin your soul? Yeah, you know,

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like this is well in my soul.
Maybe the storms are blowing.
But it's well in my soul. Andwhen something can be well in my
soul, then I can now startseeking the light for the next
way, but when it's not well,you're trying to deal with
everything. When when it's notwilling to soul, you're trying

(19:03):
to acknowledge all the trauma,and you're taking it on and it's
chaos in your brain and it'suncomfortable instead of
balance. We all know what thatfeels like. That's not peace.
You can't find the light in thatit's very hard to maybe you um,
nothing is can I don't believein cans. It's all possible if
you choose to. But a good way tofind our next way is to find a

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way to say it as well. Even ifyou if people are like well what
are you talking about? How?
Yeah, even if it's the easiestthing is understanding that
there's a greater source biggerthan you. And I call it God but
whatever you want to define it.
Even if you say God, I don'tunderstand why. But I know that

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there is something differentthan this. Yeah. And then you
accept that, that I know youhave something different from
me. So now please, there's wherethe question comes in, show me,
show me where I should go. Putthe words in my mouth that I

(20:10):
need to say, put the dream in myheart, put the vision in my
heart. Draw the way out visuallyfor me to see God. And and then
that becomes peace. Because youknow that you're getting a
direction and you're seeking adirection because it's action
attached to it.
Yes, absolutely. When we saysoul, we're talking about your

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mind your will and youremotions. Want to test? Am I at
peace? Check your mind yourthoughts, check your wheel, your
decisions and your behaviors andcheck your emotions. How does
your heart feel? Not just theheart that beats but the heart
that feels you? It's a gaze tocheck in with yourself? What am

(21:00):
I thinking? What are thethoughts that I'm thinking? Is
there rest in my mind? Or isthere toiling and fighting and
confusion? In my mind? Is thererest in my heart? Or is there
toiling? In my heart? Is thererest in my decisions? And my
emotions? Or am I wrestlingconcerning my decisions and my
behavior? That's how you know,if you're at peace? Or if you're

(21:25):
just complacent? Or if you'rejust fine? Or if you are still
there's a difference? There's adifference between peace and
giving up? Yes, you can't bepeaceful when you give up your
knows that there's more, and thesoul does not. It doesn't erupt
to torture you. It erupts to getyour attention. It's an alarm

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system was an alarm system. Andit's created to get your
attention to let you know whenyou are disconnected from you.
Oh, this is so good. Oh, fineand peace of mind.
My new animal. And Amma Oh,so beautiful. Thank you for

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that, then I love what you said,piece is not giving up. But I
would say pieces giving it overand meaning not giving up, I'm
done. But pieces, giving it overto a greater source bigger than
you. And if you gotta lift it upto give it over, then you're

(22:30):
lifting it up and out of yourspirit so that you can do the
next move for you. Because youcan't control it all. No, you're
not in control of everythingthat life has for you. But you
are in control of the next stepsof how you handle it of where

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your next direction is what yournext choice is, you do have the
control of that. But whathappens is when we're bound up,
we start to give our controlover and and the angst and
anxiety take over. And so thenwhat we find is we can't make a
move up, right? We can't make adecision where we get stuck in

(23:13):
this way. Or like you said, andwe just said okay, well, I'm not
going to do it at all. And Imust admit, every moment I'm
giving up in my head, right,like so let's keep it real I do
there's two different types ofgiving up. You can still have p
things from my perspective, andhave the human action of saying,

(23:36):
Okay, I'm done. But, but whatwhat piece and what
determination and will, like yousaid, says okay, I'll allow you
to say that or even maybe athought goes in your head. But
then that enter will won't allowyou to not make the next step

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No. And what giving up is not ismaking another step. Yes, it's I
call it millimeter movementsthere. When I was we didn't even
get into that. But wait, I gotinto the jewelry and creating
jewelry and I never really tooka real loving to I never really

(24:18):
looked at the ruler in such away that now I look at
measurements. And as I wasdesigning, I start to understand
the power of a millimeter. Amillimeter is one of the
smallest it is the smallestmeasurement on the ruler measure
and and I started to realize ifif you do one millimeter up,

(24:40):
it's a whole different designquality. It's a whole different
field of design. And if you doone millimeter down, it's also
Oh different field. And so Istarted to understand that and
relationship to life. That it,all we need to do is do one

(25:01):
millimeter in the direction ofwhat our heart desires. And it
will drastically change our lifeand you won't see it right away.
So I don't see a millimeter asdrastic when I'm drawing it.
Right. But by the time thesample gets to me, and I create

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two different ones, and twodifferent millimeters away from
each other, they're drasticallydifferent. And that's what life
is, if you just take amillimeter, I mean, in a
smallest action, because life isbased on action, it's like,
well, how do I gain the thingsthat my heart desires? Whatever

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that is, is it peace? Well, thenyou need to do an action toward
peace, right? And we're talkingabout just a superficial thing
of BS, there's always has to bean action attached to something
to see development happen, andwhatever it is, and that action
can be millimeter small. And Ithink what we start to say in

(26:10):
the world, is you think you needto do these big things to have
big results, the small things,the millimeter things become big
things over time. And they'remore palatable for me. And so I
say, okay, if I'm seeking tokeep going in my business, when
it's getting really challenging,and I've made a give up

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statement, but my will says no,not so. Then the next thing is
are what one millimeter movementdo I do? Okay. The one the one
millimeter I can do right now,and in my mindset is, maybe all
I do is just send an email.

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Yeah, maybe all I do is justturn on a podcast like this.
Yeah. Like, that's so easy,like, just turn a podcast on to
fill my soul with because I knowI'm yearning. The soul is
almost, it's like the body andhungers. The mind and the soul
is like the body. So it hungersto be fed. And you decide

(27:17):
choice, what you want to feedit. And what you feed, it
determines what you look like.
Right? So when I was in thehomeless shelter, I was feeding
my mind with all the negativityaround me. And my results were
that failing in class and butnow if I choose to feed my mind
with beautiful podcasts likethis, surrounding myself with

(27:40):
people that I aspire, just theirwhole mindset is what I aspire
to have, whether it be digital,just filling my mind, I have no
choice, but to be sparked withanother action, another
millimeter movement, becausesomebody's gonna tell me do
something in there. Right? Someof them say pick up a book, this
book. And that's how we grow andlife and that's my quest in the

(28:04):
world is to just continuouslyradiate life in our light. Yeah,
no matter what state we are, inthat it is possible to find
light. And continuously be lightis actually being what you
desire in your your true heart.

(28:26):
And that's how you're able toshine in the world.
Leah, oh, my gosh, onemillimeter, Moon. One little one
millimeter. Sometimes we feellike, we don't have the answer.
But it's not that you don't haveit. It's in you, but you can't
access it because there's somuch turmoil. But one millimeter

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movement can help you to getclear, so that you can access
the dream, access the answer,access the next step. And
sometimes all you need is thenext step. You don't need the 10
year plan, one millimetermovement. Hey, Fred, I'm just
popping in to let you know thatI have just a handful of

(29:11):
openings on my calendar over thenext three months for one on one
coaching clients. If you are anaccomplished woman who has found
that you've lost your fire overtime, if you have been
successful doing all the things,but you just want to love your
work. Again, if you're reallygood at what you do, but you

(29:32):
know that there is more than youneed to reach out. Go to connect
with pbj.com Sign up for aconnect call. We'll jump on real
quick. I just need to make sureyou're a good candidate for my
coaching program. And if sowe'll dig in together and I'll
walk this journey with you. Allright, y'all reach out connect
with Pb de.com. I look forwardto speaking with

(29:56):
everyone. Dr. PBJ was a coach ofmine in a a coaching program.
And we had we had her supportthrough the entire program. But
we had one week specificallydesignated to mindset, which was
kind of surprising to me like,why do I need this in a business
coaching program. But you learnand you realize, and Dr. PBJ

(30:20):
taught us that so much of it isin our mind. I remember thinking
that I like physically had towork, and work through
challenges in order to make mydreams come reality. But what
Dr. PJ taught us is that so muchof the block isn't like a

(30:41):
physical thing, right? It's amental thing. And then once
we're able to release ourselvesfrom the mental blocks, and
overcome those and break downthose walls. That's when we're
able to prosper. And that's howwe're able to succeed and live
out our dreams. So if you everget a chance to work with Dr.

(31:03):
PBJ, you must you need to youneed her. She's phenomenal
So, my friend, my sister, youwent from homelessness, to 100

(31:24):
million homes. So you gotta yougot to finish this story. So
this teacher you saw within youyour question within and then
you started questioningexternally, and you said what do
I need to do to get bettergrades? How do you get from that
to Valencia key jewelry and allthe things that you're doing

(31:48):
right now?
Yeah, well you get there by theone thing I must say you cannot
rely on external factors to getyou where you know is for you to
be it's all literally inside andI know you hear it a lot but

(32:10):
what what I mean from it is weexpect people to take us on our
journey. What I'm gonna say it'sgonna be interesting because
there are there are earth I callthem Earth Angels, but they're
divinely appointed for you. ButBut it's your actions that allow

(32:33):
the Earth Angels to connect youto it. And what happens is I
noticed, we expect people to dothings for us like oh, you see
my you should help me here orI'm looking for someone to help
me here. But you're you helpyourself inside all the time.
And then when you're helpingyourself inside and you are

(32:54):
taking these physical millimetermovements, and then you're
praying your dreams and yourprayers up. And you're saying
them out loud, not forexpectation. You're just saying
them literally I say when yousay your dreams out loud, you
give them wings to fly then Godappoints the white person that

(33:16):
earth angel to take you onemillimeter closer to your dream.
So what that means is Iliterally start looking inside
of me for everything that Iwanted to be mean an action was
first, you know, I want to belove. Like what I saw opposite
of me was violence against eachother harshness, negativity, all

(33:41):
of the things of actions that Iwas like, That's not who I am
and I want to be opposite. Sofirst, inside of me, I decided
to be love. And I decided to belight meaning off when I walk in
a room. I'm fine looking forpossibility and everything and

(34:02):
everyone and then I'm decidingto be kind to myself and others.
And then when people see thatthey gravitate to that because
it's quite different. Sadly,right and then and then people
then I start to do thingstowards my dream so then I start
to say okay, I want to go tocollege. And then my mother said

(34:23):
which was interesting Oh, wecan't afford college. i Sorry,
can't go because I can't affordto get you there and I'm like,
oh, but you told me to givesomebody some power now you're
like oh but that lighter side ofme that you told me was true.

(34:45):
And I'm going to college so Idon't know I was going but I
don't receive that my my lighthere. But I don't that when I
don't receive and so I sharethat story is because you have
to filter the message for You westart to take on everything that
people give us. And it's, it'sGod, God is gonna give you

(35:07):
what's for you, right. But whatwe do is we, we start to allow a
man or human to be our ownsource and then we just are
following the path of whatsomeone else is supposed to be.
God tells you what's for you andwhat's not for you. And our goal
is to truly listen to that. Andso my mother comes in, she

(35:28):
filters this thing from herbucket. The truth is, we could i
The truth was, I could not go tocollege, because the truth is,
we had nothing. That was hertruth. But that wasn't my truth.
So you I listen to what otherpeople say, and then what's your
truth? And so I'm always lookingfor my truth every time and I'm

(35:50):
like, my truth is college. And Idon't know how. And but I'm
going and all I'm gonna do isjust speak it out. I never asked
people for anything. But I'mjust sharing where I'm going.
And I'm sharing on share. And asI share where I'm going,
guidance starts to happen.
Little light sources start topop up to direct me to the

(36:10):
counselor. And then and thendirectly to my aunt who tells me
and then and then she says, Oh,okay, I'll get you there. Like
it's no brainer. It because theperson the earth angel that's
divinely appointed to bless youdoesn't have to be asked. They
don't ask the person what it is.

(36:32):
They know it's their assignment,that no mine assignment. So as
soon as they hear it, theyattach to it. And what happens
is when people hear things, andit's not their assignment, it's
still in their soul, Bob Goff, awonderful leader share that the
human is designed to help. Andso when your dreams are out in

(36:58):
the world, people will it willplace somewhere in their memory
bank, and as soon as a triggerconnects to you, they think of
you a meeting, they're like, oh,my gosh, Leo wants to go to
college. I know, a grant that'sgonna help Leah, get to college,
Leah, here's the grant, then yougot to go do the work. Remember,

(37:18):
you got to, and that's just beenthe story of my life. So my life
was this. Looking inside, sayingmy dreams, being positive, even
in every hardship, and thendeciding when I'm going to be
and allowing my life to beflexible in my dreams. Like my
dream was to go to college, Iwent there, I finished it. My

(37:39):
mother always said complete. SoI completed it. And then I start
to decide, oh, I want to go intoart. I got my master's in
education, I completed thatwhole thing. But I went inside
again. I was like, that's notfor me that so that's why I like
to share sometime you're in agood place. Like, I believe in
college is a good place. Butacademics at that moment wasn't

(38:03):
for me, it was art that was forme. And I knew it. And I heard
it very clear. And it was theharder way to go. Because the
world said you get a salarydoing these things. Art is a
harder struggle. And I'm like,oh, okay, I know struggle a bit.
I know that. So I started to doart through the form of hair and

(38:29):
makeup. And I went tocosmetology school, got my
cosmetology license, what floorswith a master's degree, I love
to share that. Don't humble,humble yourself, that the
journey will take you differentplaces, and you got to sometime
go to the valley to like, soyou're like, great, wow, that's

(38:54):
sweet. But salon floor becauseif if your destiny is in that
direction, then sometime you gotto do the things and I was
sweeping floors for a purpose. Iwasn't just sweeping floors. I
was sweeping a salon floor.
Because in that salon, it wasall about education. And it was
all about default culture.
haircare, so African Americanwoman and I wanted to not be

(39:18):
labeled.
I wanted to be able to do alltypes of hair. And so I knew I
wanted to be in that place. Whenmy friend saw my dream because I
was living my dream. She saw megoing to school and she said oh,
my friend has a salon. Let meconnect you. That's how God
does. When when you're walkingin your mission. Even in a

(39:40):
struggle people see it. You gotto walk in the mission for
people to see it. And that's thepower sometime we're waiting for
someone to help us. But Godwants you to literally walk in
your mission, do the hard thingsfor yourself. And just by you
You're physically doing the hardthings for yourself, someone's

(40:03):
gonna see it. And then they'regoing to take you to another
journey. So I'm sweeping floors,and I'm learning all types of
hair. I'm making like $8 An hourunder the table, but I'm
learning. This teacher justtaught me everything. And then I
was exposed to a thing calledQVC. Whoa, what is that I never

(40:24):
knew what it is. And it was a 24hours, it is a 24 hour
television show where they're,they're broadcasting to homes
all across the world sellingproducts and gifts. I'm like,
oh, it's gonna be a salon inthere. I don't want to be at so
what's the lines are my I wantto be a salon stylist, I want to
work there like specific. So mynext thing is like, be specific

(40:45):
about your dreams. Be I want tobe a stylist, that'll keep you
loose in the air just floating.
You're not like, you don't wantto be a float, you want to
define your dream so clear.
Because then everything you do,even if it looks like it's
outside of that is focusingtoward that. So then I realized

(41:08):
like, I want to be a QVC.
Stylists period now from thatstatement to when it happened
was at least five to six years.
So I like to share that. Whenyou define your dream, it's not
going to happen automatically.
It could your blessed if itdoes, but don't give up watching
the Oscars yesterday. And one ofthe winners gentleman, he was a

(41:33):
child, a child actor. He didn'tget asked until now he looks
like he's in his 50s orsomething. He's older now.
Right? And it was a 20 year gapbetween and don't give up on
your dreams, you have to dothings in between to survive.
Yeah. But as you're doing yourthing to survive, never give up

(41:54):
on your dream, never just put itdown. Keep doing the little
millimeter movements towardsyour dream, even when you just
got to work this thing to putfood on the table. Or even if
you've got to deal with thesepeople to finish college or
whatever the case is. Alwayshave your dream so specific. So

(42:16):
I targeted QVC and a reallyclear way. And it took me six
years to get there. I got somany knows I finally got my
cosmetology license, I got no somany times that I wasn't
qualified. I even went to thestudio one day, because this was
when there was no lots ofsecurity. And I'm like, Oh, they

(42:36):
need to see my light. Becauseevery time people meet me, it's
a thing like that. Oh, that'sit? Oh, so my other key is, keep
trying different things. The wayyou don't give up because, you
know, I'm always giving up. SoI'm I'm an expert at how to not
give up. And the way you don'tgive up is when the give up

(42:59):
spirit happens. That's it'sreal. What else can I try?
That's different. It's stilltowards my goal, but it's
different than what I've beendoing. And if you keep trying,
it's like a it's like a Rubik'scube if you keep changing the
Rubik's cube A Million Ways.

(43:20):
You've got to get the lineupeventually, right. So I keep
trying like I was putting in theemail and and isn't it? Oh, I
gotta go in person. So then I goin person. And there's a
gatekeeper security guard there.
And he asked me Oh, were youhere for and I'm like, Oh, I
just want to get my CD back in adamn date myself to the to the
salon. And I'm like, there is asalon here, right? And he's

(43:42):
like, yes, but you need a name.
And I'm like, Oh, I don't have aname but just the manager and
he's like unless you Devon lane,you actually have to turn off
him and get off the premises.
Like you don't belong here. Andso at that moment, I'm weeping
human tears. Because my spiritis broken again for the fifth
year. But my inner whisper issaying you're gonna walk that

(44:03):
same man one day you're gonnawork here and you're gonna and I
share that story and I getemotional about it because
something in your life whoever'slistening, all the things around
you are saying opposite. Likeeverything is wrong.
Everything's going wrong. Everythere's knows every thing you're

(44:25):
trying is not happening. Butwhat is your soul and your inner
heart say? Because that's thetruth. And if you if you if you
know truth and you recognizetruth, you hold on to that truth
and you keep going to try towardthe truth. Because there are so

(44:47):
many naysayers in the world.
There are so many obstacles, andthe only what you see people
that do great things parentheseJust because everybody's doing
great things, the fact thatyou're living and breathing and
trying is great. But if you lookat this celebration of what

(45:10):
great things is, the differenceis, they go and keep going.
Because they believe it to betrue. Like, my loving dear
friend created the book, believeit. She's amazing, so amazing.
But just everything in here isthat story on a times a million

(45:33):
level of how believing ispossible. But when you believe
it so much, it creates an actionI gotta keep going back to
action believing is, you know,you're not believing when you're
not doing an action. Oh, youdon't really believe it? If you
haven't, do anything. And Ibelieve in taking breaks. Don't

(45:55):
listen to me because it takes mereal long to get things done.
Because I live in a peace state.
So when something is notbringing the peace, I do step
away from it a little bit. Ichoose peace over anything. My
mother died way early, she diedin her 40s. And I don't think I
she didn't truly live she wasbound by fear, and society

(46:17):
stereotypes and bouncers. Shewas able to speak this out, and
I'm honored for that. Butphysically, she can break out of
fear. And a p state. So I livein peace. So I take a moment,
like I haven't given up but I'mwell I'm gonna step off a little
bit again. And then I come back.
And now I have some more energyand some more power. So, so

(46:41):
believe so much that itcatapults you into another
millimeter movement, which isthe action movement. And I and
so to speed this story up, Iwould just share this dream of
QVC to everyone I know. And Ididn't, I wasn't asking for
anyone to help me do anything. Iwas saying it out. Because every

(47:02):
time I hear myself say it, itmade it so real for me that it
had to happen. So then it wouldallow me to try another thing.
And one day I'm speaking, I'm ata bartender to survive on
bartending. And it's just me andthis gentleman, and I'm serving
him. And he said couplesentences to me. So my next

(47:23):
sentence is, I want to work forQVC because that was my thing. I
tell everybody, and he's like,really, my friend works there.
Let me see. And I'm like, okay,and say yes, to all things
positive.
Key is like, don't countyourself out. I feel like in the

(47:46):
world, like everyone puts thesestandards on things, too, you
gotta have this to be this. Andyou've got to already have done
this to make it like and so youhave these society things that
people say you have to do and Band then when it leaves, if
you're not working from yourinner self, got to work in your

(48:07):
answer. You, you start countingyourself out, because you start
looking at the boxes, and youcan't check any of those off. So
then you're like, Oh, I can't dothat. I don't believe in boxes.
I don't have to check any ofthose boxes. If God said it to
be so that I'm gonna find theactions to do to make it so

(48:29):
meaning the action was I gottaget a cosmetology license, I
gotta roll over that. And starttaking the control where you can
take it because there's alwaysactions that you can do, do
those little action. And don'tworry about checking the boxes
off and still put yourself inthe position that you say you're
supposed to be. So he says, I'llgive you the person. So he sends

(48:54):
me a text message. The personsends me a text message the next
day, who has never met me,Stephanie Humphrey, his name was
Fred out and Stephanie Humphreyactually becomes is like my dear
friend, sister now which isdivine. But your heart is more
powerful than anything. How youare in the world is more

(49:15):
powerful than any talent, skill,ability and direction you can
ever be and and who you are topeople will take you farther
than what you can ever do. Yes,from my perspective, yes. And
you're granted and blessed.
Generational blessings thatdon't move you up and you don't
have to be a nice person. ButI'm saying coming from where I

(49:36):
come from. I was never the besthairstylist. Never the best
anything, but I believe in beinglove. And that has moved me
around it. So this man who hasfelt my heart in a bar told this
human that never met me My heartand my light and And he must

(49:59):
have given it to them so purethat they wanted to help me. And
so Stephanie texted me didn'tknow me from anything. Here's
the manager's name, here's theirnumber, here's their email
address, and all use me as areference.
Lea. So I'm gonna pause just fora minute. And by the way, new

(50:24):
drove up to that security area.
The man said, Do you have aname? You didn't have a name,
you didn't have a name. But youdidn't give up you went back to
what you were doing just keptspeaking to dream speaking and
during, and through speaking thedream. You didn't even say okay,
I've got to be at this place atthis time. Because this is the

(50:46):
only way that I'm going to getinto QVC you are minding your
business, doing nothing butspeaking your dream. And through
speaking your dream, not onlydid you get a name, not only did
you get a phone number, but yougot a reference

(51:08):
amazing in that, I must sayyou've got to be ready though.
So you're speaking your dream,right? What does your dream
need, that's your job. Your jobis to get the things done that
your dream needs in the capacitythat you can do it. Me and my

(51:32):
dream was to work for QVC now mydream needed a cosmetology
license but that to be so I cancontrol that. I'm gonna work on
that. And so you're doingeverything my dream needed to
understand from my perspectivewhat I imagined my dream because
if I turned on QVC it was abunch of different people my

(51:55):
dream needed to know differenthair types and textures and
understanding how to apply meand that's what my dream needed.
Okay, I'm gonna go sweep floorsin a salon and work on that see,
you've got to be working on whatyour dream needs. And then as
you're working on what yourdream needs, now you're speaking
it out because when your dreamcatches, you got to be remotely

(52:18):
ready you don't have to bealways ready I don't believe no
such thing as already. Butyou've got to have been working
on the dream to be able to be inthe sphere of being able to
catch the dream. So now I mustadmit five years six years of no
gave me five six years oftraining because if I hadn't

(52:40):
gotten an interview five yearsago, I know nothing. Even gave
me class and so now I have theinterview the lovely Stephanie
Humphrey type check her out techLightstep on Instagram, she's
magical. And now these doorsopened immediately. Jack got the

(53:02):
yes for the interview. I've beenworking for mac cosmetics that
manager happened the new managerat QVC happened to work from
that cosmetic I had beensweeping floors learning all
different hair textures. Theygave me beautiful hosts with
wonderful different hair textureis mine and so I wasn't ready
but I have been training and soI get there and vote but what

(53:28):
what superseded everything inthe interview was my spirit. It
was my my willingness to be joy.
It was my willingness to smile.
I think the most simplest thingwe can do to improve our spirit
and our energy is smile. When wewalk in places smile in your
home by yourself. Even when youdon't feel good smile changes

(53:49):
the whole dynamics of the energyin yourself. And in the room.
It's magical if you're lookingto see if people count how many
people are smiling. Youliterally can count how many
people are smiling and somepeople aren't smiling because
they're thinking and I get it.
But if you understand what asmile does, it says I'm
welcoming. It says I'm open itsays it says I'm see you it says

(54:13):
all these different nuances thatmost people are looking for, but
don't do and so I got that joband that job and PVC exposed me
to another and this is my thirdlight I'd say you know I've had
all these turtles a light butthe third big light was I was

(54:33):
exposed to oh my god just humansliving out their dream like host
making people's dreams happen.
And business owners decidingthat if you had a love and a
passion and put it in a tangibleproduct, and really had love in
that product, it will becomelife changing in the receivers

(54:56):
hands. And I didn't even knowfrom where I came In fact, this
was possible. I don't know how Ithought businesses started, I
really don't. But I didn't knowlike real human people from real
random places were creatingthem. But I got to have these
people sit in my chair, and gotto talk. But these are just
humans, like, who had passionand work real hard and dream and

(55:19):
do and don't give up and failand come back and go on air and
see their numbers do reallygreat. And then the next time
see their numbers were reallybad. And then they show back up
the next day. And I was exposedto this. So my, my next key is
exposure as power. Exposure istransformative to your life. So

(55:39):
whatever you want, go getexposed to it. Yeah. And it
doesn't have to cost you I thinka lot of people pay a lot of
money. I'm not saying don't paymoney for training. I'm not
saying that. Please pay moneyfor training, if that's what you
know, to be true. But if youdon't have the money, you don't
have to pay money for training,go look up Eventbrite. And find

(56:02):
a free activity of minedevelopment workshops or
meetings or something like that,and just get in a space of
exposure. Yeah. And expose a setspace of exposure will turn so
many lights on for you, becauseyou'll start to see what's
possible that you didn't evenknow what was possible. And
that's what happened to me. Twobeautiful hearts. found me and

(56:30):
Jamie Kern Lima FOUND ITCosmetics, our best friend,
Jacqueline Finn, and actuallysaw me first they saw my light.
And then Vicky, sigh founder oftoxic skincare. We were I was in
the salon, this light and asalon just with so much
possibility. What I didn't sharewas my mother passed very early.

(56:51):
I mentioned that briefly. Butbefore she passed, she saw my
light shining. And as shestarted, she saw the trajectory
of my change. And before shepassed, she said that, Oh, I see
your light. I see you choosingyour light, I see you leaving I
see you leaving into your owndestiny. And it's beautiful. And

(57:11):
she handed me over these littleearrings. And she said, Now
where are your earrings everyday. And let them be a reminder
because there's going to betimes that you may not know that
you still have light inside ofyou, you may the light may get
so dim. But when you look atyour earrings, when you touch
them, let them be a reminderthat all of the beautiful light

(57:35):
that is still within you and allyou have to do is reach us.
Right? It's so weird, it wasalways there. So that's
beautiful for everybody.
Whatever it is, it's all it willnever leave you, the light will
never leave you. I don't carehow dark it gets. The only way
it leaves you if you allow it tonever tap back into it. It'll

(57:55):
stay there. It'll be there it'swaiting for you to tap into it
in you just need these triggerreminders to tap into it. And so
I from that moment was handsketching jewelry as therapy my
mother left this earth and I wassketching therapeutically for
myself but what what what thesymbols look like that will

(58:16):
remind me and it was in ajewelry form and then when I
walked into this exposure ofexplosion of light people just
doing the thing I have realizedthat wow I've been seeing
sketching this and the lastthing what I sought out a
beautiful women hearts what theywould do is what earrings Am I

(58:37):
gonna put on what necklace Am Igonna put on? And it was a seal
of confidence. It was a seal ofbravery it was a seal of light
no the I couldn't go on stagewith them their coach and the
team couldn't go on air when Mr.
And oppressing them when I'mwhat their necklace could their
hearings could and I realized Ihad been drawing this. My

(59:02):
journey has been a journey fromdarkness to consistently seeking
light. And how do I allow peopleto have wearable symbols that
can go with them throughoutlife, no matter where they are,
no matter what stage or whathardship or what celebration
they walk in to have thesymbolic things to be reminded

(59:24):
to celebrate that they are lightor to be reminded that there is
consistent life. And I startedseeing through Jamie and Vicki
that it's possible and they tookme under their wing and took a
stylist like me around the worldwith them literally and allowed
me to sit in rooms that maybeAspire stylists wouldn't be

(59:45):
invited into and it was just mesit there and and so my next
thing is like if you have theability to expose someone to
anything, please do because itcan be transformative to the
world. because their exposureunlocked this power that I'm
able to speak to you on rightbecause a me creating Valencia

(01:00:09):
key is what I then realized thatit was my next mission to create
wearable symbolic, my columnpieces of joy. Valencia means
bravery and a Spanish slangdialect. And key, as we know is
to unlock. And that happens tobe my name, middle and last
name, which is cool, but itdefines unlocking your bravery,

(01:00:33):
unlocking your life, unlockingyour possibility consistently,
over and over again. And thewearable pieces are symbolic
that if a young girl from ahomeless shelter, where
societies specifically says allodds are against her and out if

(01:00:55):
you can wear my jewelry, if youcan touch and wear, what ever
your prayers are, are possible.
It's physical humans, we needphysical proof. Yeah. And no,
this is physical proof thatwhatever you're preys on, it
doesn't have to be a dream.
Maybe Maybe you're praying forfamily. It's possible it's

(01:01:16):
possible to start rewiring,which what that looks like for
you, but it's possible andsometimes we need those
reminders to keep going. Andthat's my other way of always
having that ability to keepbelieving to next fold. I want
to make that millimetermovement. And that's where we
are and PBS did a 26 minuteepisode on Valencia key my

(01:01:37):
jewelry brand 2020 The earringswere in Oprah's Favorite Things
magazine. QVC. After three yearsof dreaming to have my jewelry
on QVC a big competition cameout. And I had spoke bad dream
in the world. Everybody thatwould listen, I want my jewelry
on QVC. Now USA Oh, she's in theQVC salon. Isn't it easy? No,

(01:02:00):
it's actually harder. Becauseyou're you're so far away from
where the magic is happening.
You're the frontlines of thelast touch up where it goes on
air. But there's no connectionof, oh, we're there. And then
it's a beautiful thing. There'snot nepotism. And so it's really
hard for me to have done that.
But I shared my dream toeveryone that would listen and I

(01:02:25):
wanted my jewelry on QVC it tookme three years of just women
showing up and wearing mypieces, they would meet my
spirit and say I want to I wantto wear that on there. Like that
spirit. I'm giving themearrings, so I can wear it on
there. I made a little bit ofit. And they aware it and shine
their light. And then someonetext me three years later that

(01:02:47):
QVC was having a big, big funcompetition and that you've been
saying it is your time now. Andat the what I like to share this
in closing I thought I had thefirst message came in and I was
like, Oh, I'm not ready. So Icounted myself out. someone's
listening is counting yourselfout. And you have to listen to

(01:03:09):
not so there's this you thebrain, the mind you which is
beautiful and dangerous all atthe same time. Because the mind
is meant to protect you. It'sthe methodical, it's still it.
She's, she's well, she's therefor you, in a sense, but

(01:03:30):
sometimes she sends her thingsthrough a protection filter that
could be skewed right? Or she'staking in a lot of things from
the world that could be skewedand she's processing it through
a processing lens of experiencesand things so it's it's a

(01:03:50):
beautiful thing, but it can alsobe a dangerous thing. We I was
just at a magical dinneryesterday, my friend does array.
She's on there for IT Cosmetics.
She exposed me princess ofZambia, how cool and sitting
there. City hall she came tospeak and then we had dinner

(01:04:12):
afterwards. And the table was sobeautiful. So it's the princess
of Zambia. It's a beautifulbusiness woman from Kenya who's
now here. It's an AfricanAmerican, beautiful woman who's
the connector of all humans,which is magical. Then there's a
Cantonese an Asian man who hasthe restaurant sitting at the

(01:04:37):
table then there's a Caucasianman Brian, who's whose great
great grandfather helped withslavery. And then there's
another Caucasian man who's themarketing network in man and
then Deseret, she's Caucasianand this beautiful light in the
world. And then there's me thatand this is the beautiful table
of just cultures, eatingtogether. up. But what happened

(01:05:01):
was, we start talking abouttruth. So get yourself in spaces
of good conversation, becausethat was should literally change
your life. And what what cameout was that what we're normally
used to is censoring to theworld. Yeah, I'm assimilating.

(01:05:26):
And that happens in the brain,because you always want to fit
in, right? You want to. But Itold myself when that first
message came, I wasn't ready,because myself was protecting
me, my brain was, but my heartknew that it was for me. But
then God sends another message.
So this is what I want to say,You, God's not going to stop
telling you what's for you. Youcan keep flying it away, but

(01:05:50):
God, so God sends anothermessage is like four days later
saying the same thing from awhole different human being. No
connection, the same thing. Andthen that was my son, because
I'm always I'm always in asymbolic symbol. There's always
signs in the world telling youdirection. And I'm like, Oh,

(01:06:11):
God, I'm not readyacknowledgement of the grant.
But you say yes, so then I'mgonna walk to it. And then I'm
just going to read theapplication, and I'm gonna do a
full out whatever theapplication says, I'm gonna do
full out. And then I'm going totap into my friends that help
taze me. And then I'm going totap into my friend, Marissa, who

(01:06:33):
works for Josie Merna, who, whohelps curate stories, and I'm
going to ask her to hear mystory. And she started picking
up my story. And so people willbless you, but you got to have
the ingredients. Right? And thenI went for it full out. And then
that moved into severalauditions. And I finally got to

(01:06:56):
Yes, for QVC that dream that Ihad to be on QVC I spoken the
world. And so if anything Ileave you with is dreams do come
true. I'm sitting in a middlespace now where I want my
business to grow. And I'm, I'mhaving challenges, you know,

(01:07:16):
with sales and growth and, andthat understanding because I'm
not a business person, I'm acreator. And I'm being
vulnerable and transparent. I'min a space of where the world if
I statistic, if I look at mybusiness, from a statistic
standpoint, from a worldstandard, I should give up.

(01:07:37):
Right? But my inner heart issaying the same thing that it
said for QVC. And it's like,you've got a blessing to give to
the world and it's in this formof tangible pieces, but it's a
blessing a gift to the world. SoI'm gonna listen to my same
message. And I'm gonna just keepdoing an Illumina movement. So I

(01:08:01):
pray that you join me andwhatever your life journey is
for you to do your millimetermovements. And we did our goal
is to shine light consistently.
Through everything even in theheart things be light, and it's
going to inspire someone else tobe light with.

(01:08:23):
Valencia key let me saysomething to you because I do
recognize that when you are thelight when you are the love when
you are the encourager sometimeswe don't pause long enough to
receive it for ourselves.
Because we're so busy pouringout to other people. Ever since
the day I met you, I've beenwearing Valencia key. And let me

(01:08:45):
tell you why. I love beautifuljewelry I always have but your
your your jewelry is more thanbeautiful. In this season of my
life where I am walking by faithin the stream and towards this
dream and doing something thatI've never done before. Your

(01:09:06):
jewelry reminds me of why I doit. Wearing this joy during this
podcast and seeing myselfwearing Valencia key reminds me
that it's possible. It remindsme that I can believe it reminds
me that there sparkle in me andnot in you know just Hi fly your

(01:09:27):
way but in a very direct piercedmy heart way of I have to show
up because I have something togive. I gave my daughter and my
nieces your hair jewelry forChristmas and I told them a
little piece of your story.
Because I want them to alwaysknow that they have choice and

(01:09:51):
that the dream that God has puton the inside of them. It will
come forward if they keep takingsteps that whatever they see is
real, whatever they see in theirheart is real, and it will come
for so I want you to know thatand I love this I'm gonna sit I

(01:10:11):
know we got to let the peoplego. But I always talk about the
difference between purpose andpassion, right? I believe
purpose is that innate, uniquebrilliance that you specifically
bring to the world. And yourpassions are the expressions of
that, like how you how you bringit to the world, how you are the

(01:10:32):
vehicle through which so yourpurpose Lea, your purpose is
light and love you are youembody every space that you are
in its field, it is undeniable,it is undeniable. And you have
brought that light and love youbrought that light and love.

(01:10:53):
When you were sweeping floors,you brought that light and love
through bartender, you broughtthat light and love through
everybody has who has sat inyour chair, to have their hair
there, the glory, their hair,and their faces, made beauty
more beautiful. Just you know,accentuate it, you brought light
and love through Valencia keyjewelry, and even just your

(01:11:17):
speaking and your presence, youexpress light and love and
everything that you do. So I'mhere to tell you that just as
your testimony shows exactlywhat you see in your heart for
Valencia key, that's what it'sgonna be,
and when I receive it, and thankyou for that message, because

(01:11:41):
everything that you said iseverything I pray for. And so my
message My My prayers areanswered, yeah, already. So if
I'm looking at what societysays, that's not what matters is
what you just said, becausethat's why I created it. And so

(01:12:01):
for that is everything that Idream up and pray for, and I
have to keep spreading thatbecause I want us all to keep
going after what God has for us.
So thank you for that. Amen.
Amen. Listen, friends, we gottalet you go. But I told you, I

(01:12:22):
told you so you all need tofollow Leah. You all need to go
to Valencia key.com and sell herout. Go buy her out. And y'all
know I don't appeal in this way.
I don't do this. But when I tellyou exactly what you experienced
through this through hearingthis woman's voice is at that's

(01:12:44):
what you get as you wear thisjewelry bless yourself and bless
somebody else. You You have thepower and the light of choice.
And there's a dream on theinside of you. That is literally
God given you didn't make it up.
You're not wrong. You're notwrong. You're not wrong. Yeah,

(01:13:09):
it's true. It's true. And onemillimeter movement is how
you're gonna get there. Asalways, you know, you are
powerful. You are significant.
And you are loved. Love alwaysPBJ love ya

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