May 24, 2023 • 48 mins
This week on Disrupting Burnout, I’m joined by Chulu Chansa, a Woman Who Defines Disruption by emphasizing the importance of therapy, community, and listening to the signs of disruption in our lives.
Chulu is a writer of modern African culture & lifestyle, a transformational speaker, mentor and the host & producer of the award winning podcast, Africana Woman. In this episode, Chulu shares her personal story of moving from burnout to purpose and discusses how she found her voice and discovered her true passions, leading her to create Africana Woman, a community dedicated to empowering women to live in their purpose.
03:25 - Three Stories Of Burnout
18:00 - The Tells Of Burnout
26:30 - The Power Of Community & Self-Discovery
40:00 - The Path To Healing & Freedom
Buried Under Success Takeaways
● “I burned out not once, not twice, but three times.” - Chulu Chansa
● “I am a big advocate for therapy.” - Chulu Chansa
● “Community saved me.” - Chulu Chansa
● “When I didn’t have my own faith, I had to borrow the faith of my community.” - Chulu Chansa
● “The business was a good business, but it just was not for me.” - Chulu Chansa
● “I wish I had started sooner because I would be so much further.” - Chulu Chansa
● “I had lost my voice.” - Chulu Chansa
● “The journey doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time.” - Chulu Chansa
● “We are changing lives, one person at a time.” - Chulu Chansa
This episode is brought to you by HeartWork Academy! If you’ve ever felt like you're marching in place, putting in all of the effort, but not moving forward, this program is for you. If you feel buried and you’re ready to move into brilliance, it’s time to join a community of disruptors who understand and who genuinely want to support you and hold you accountable as you show up in purpose everyday. To join the Heartwork Academy, visit: http://heartworkacademy.com.
Connect With Chulu:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChulubyDesign
Website: https://www.africanawoman.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chulu_bydesign/
Let’s Connect
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There's not really like monetaryterms of other way people define
(00:05):
success that can really expresshow grateful and happy I am that
I can be part of a communitylike this, that is literally
transforming lives.
(00:29):
Hey, hey, hey, friends, listen,I am too excited to share with
you all today. As you as you allknow, we have a new series
called women who definedisruption. And my heart and my
goal for this series is for youto be exposed to women who have
(00:50):
said no thank you to thestructured career ladders that
have been offered to them, butnot created, especially for
them, and who are living freelyin purpose, you know that one of
the strategies that we use to dodisrupt burnout is discovering
our brilliance or purpose,right. And not just discovering
(01:11):
it, but maximizing thatbrilliance, living in that
brilliance every day, notbecause someone gave us
permission, not because oureducation has led us to it. But
because we know, this is what wewere created to do. And this is
what we were called to do. And Iwant you to experience that
(01:31):
freedom. I also believe and inorder to experience that
freedom, you need to be exposedto it. You need to be exposed to
women who have done and areliving in this way so that you
know what is possible for youand for your life. So today
(01:52):
Today Today, I have a veryspecial guest on the podcast. My
sister, the beautiful ChuluChansa is coming to us from
Zambia, and she is going toshare her story. I'll just tell
you a little bit. She is thecreator and the host of the
(02:12):
Africana women with Chulupodcast. She is also the curator
and creator of the African womenPodcast Network. Come on
somebody come on network, okay.
And the African a womanvisionaries. She's a
storyteller. She's a storytellerin so many ways. So without
(02:34):
further ado, because she's goingto tell you much better than I
can Chulu, welcome so much.
Welcome to disrupting burnout.
And I'm going to greet you likeyou greet your community. Hey,
beautiful. I love it. Thankyou. I feel so welcome. I'm so
(02:54):
excited to be here. When I sawyour invitation, I was just
like, yes, yes, yes. must dothis.
Well, thank you for your Yes.
And thank you for sharing withus today. So we are going to get
right into it. And I'm going toask you to introduce yourself to
(03:14):
this audience in your own way.
Tell us your story. Tell us whoyou are.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay.
Hello, everybody. So my name isChulu. And I am the founder of
Africana woman. I like to referto myself as a light worker. I
am a storyteller. I am a mom. Iam just someone who is seeking
(03:39):
peace, joy, happiness. So I amfrom Zambia. And if you're not
familiar with that country, itis in the middle of Africa,
Southern Central Africa,landlocked country. And I am
trying to figure out whereshould I start from because I
(04:00):
you know, I feel like I have astory that has so many layers,
and they've been peeling backslowly. But I think it's so
essential to share the story ofhow I burnt out three times you
would think that I learned thefirst time I burnt up one
(04:21):
separate twice and still didn'tlearn I had to burn out three
times. Now I you know, I gotinto the workforce pretty much
as we all do, you know, you'regetting out of university, it's
all you you have to go find ajob. And to be honest, I was
(04:42):
kind of like, I would go into ajob and then I'll jump out and
then everybody will be lookingat me like oh, why are you not
working? Yeah. But I'm like, butI am working, I'm creating, you
know, this business or whateverit is, but because we're so used
(05:03):
to conventional systems andstructures, you know, everybody
has sort of like, what thepeople around me have had this
definition for what successlooked like. So I kept trying to
force myself back into thisworkforce, this space. But
(05:24):
essentially, I think I wouldstart my story probably foods
complicated. So my story from,you know, I got out of high
school, and then I went tostudy, now, I left my country
when I was 18 years old. Andobviously, if you're coming from
(05:44):
an African country, you know,here you are a majority, you've
never thought of things likerace or anything like that. And
I came to study in the States, Ifirst studied in the UK for two
years, and then I studied in theStates for four years, and I was
(06:06):
there for an extra year. So, youknow, when I came to the, when I
came to the States, you know, Iand the UK, then you I was
confronted with this thingabout, Oh, you are, you know,
with racism, with, with peoplehaving a problem with the color
(06:28):
of my skin, with people. Andeven worse, when you're coming
from Africa, you know, I heardthings like, Oh, I could never
date an African woman like, oran African girl, because you all
have AIDS, you know, so that forme, put a damper into my spirits
(06:50):
into my soul. And I was also, Igrew up with a single parents, I
grew up with my mother. Myfather was alive. He had other
children, but he just didn'tcare for me. So then I also had
abandonment issues, as well. Soby the time I was getting back
(07:11):
to Zambia, after my seven yearsout of the country, I was very,
I was very fragmented, verybroken. And I remember the, it
took me a while, first of all,to just reintegrate. So when I
finally did get a job, probably,I think, three or four years
(07:33):
later, from arriving back, I hadan experience, which was very
heartbreaking again. So Iexperienced being raped by two
men. I had gone out with afriend. I did not want to sleep
at his place. So when he got tohis car, his gait, I jumped out
(07:54):
of the car. This is midnight,way past midnight, I jumped out
of the car, and I startedwalking because I could hear I
could hear a busy center. So Ithought, Okay, let me just go
and get a let me go and get aride. I'll find a taxi there. So
(08:15):
I got out. And then I was met bythree gentlemen who, who
proceeded to rob me. So they gotmy bag, they got everything,
took everything. And I'm likewalking around disoriented. And
then I met two other men whothen rates were so and during
(08:36):
that process, the the originalthree men who had attacked me,
they even walked by and foundthis happening to me, but they
still walked on by. And afterthat experience, I was just now
totally shattered. So thishappened in our capital city,
(08:57):
and I couldn't stay, I had torun away. So I left the capital
city and I went to work for amining related company for the
up north. In that company, itwas, you know, it was a factory.
So it was 24/7. And it was astartup. So I had my manager or
(09:18):
the CEO, and then I was doingthe business admin, basically, I
was doing everything starting upeverything, but I buried myself
in work because I just couldn'thandle having to deal with all
of this stuff, which is on mypersonal life, right. So I
(09:40):
buried myself I Did everything Iwas doing accounting, I was
doing HR I was doing everythingyou can think of it often. And I
burned out, obviously, I peoplewill be calling me at 2am in the
morning, oh, my machine hasbroken in the in the factory on
(10:01):
a Sunday. You know, all week,I'm on call, it was just too
much my body just could not takeit anymore. And and then also, I
wasn't getting the support tosay I need help. That wasn't
coming. So then I just couldn'tdo it anymore. So I had to stop
(10:23):
that job. And I burnt out firsttime. Then the next time, then I
had a bit of a short break, didsome volunteer work. And then I
was invited to work as a managerat a hotel, a group of hotels.
So you know, went in as thehotel manager. And again, when
(10:45):
you're talking abouthospitality, these are very long
days. They're very long days,and then it's six days on one
day off. And then as themanager, I'm also on call, even
on my day off, so I would bethere opening up thing offices
(11:05):
or storerooms. First thing inthe morning 6am. And then I
would have to be the one to lockup, let's say the bar or
whatever it is at like midnight,because you're waiting for the
last person to leave burningboth ends of the candle. And I
(11:26):
still did it. Like I just didn'tlearn. I just came out of the
situation like that. But I stilljumped in. Why? Because I'm
still running. I'm still runningfrom actually dealing with all
of the things that have beenhappening and that have happened
(11:47):
to me. But I just don't want toface them. So I burned out,
burned out number two. Okay, sothen, um, I then decided that
okay, my mom was retiring aroundthat time. And she was kind of
trying to figure out like, whatam I going to do? So we decided
(12:09):
to start a a baking companytogether. Now, she had been
baking for a very long time. Andit was like a nun brain. I said,
Okay, why don't we do thisbaking thing, she had the baking
skills. And then I had the, themarketing the business side of
(12:30):
it, you know? So we put ourskills together, and we started
this company, and it was reallydoing well. But again, because
everybody's looking at mesaying, oh, yeah, you don't have
a job. Like, you know, they'relooking at me like you're not
(12:51):
working. But I'm like, I outworkyou think I am? Yeah, I mean,
you don't see the vision, butit's fine. So then I for the
third time, I got pressured togo back into a more
traditional nine to five. So Istarted off with one company and
(13:15):
then transitioned into another.
Now I was in the educationsector. Now, in that space, it
was much better. It was muchbetter in the sense that the
hours were better, would startearly, but then would also leave
earlier than most people. Butthen the business was still
going. Right. So the cakebusiness was still going so we
(13:38):
grid from doing specialitycakes, then we started
specializing in wedding cakes,you know, from one year we went
from three wedding cakes thatyear, the next year, we went to
17 wedding cakes, and then itjust started growing that way.
So literally, you know, I'mdoing this 95 And then I've also
(13:59):
got this business that's really,you know, growing and doing
well. Burning both ends of soaround 2019 I believe 2019 Yeah,
2019 My mom left the country andthen left the business with me
alone. I managed it for the yearbut I just couldn't do it.
(14:21):
Because essentially, that washer business. That's her
passion. So yes, I have theskills but it just wasn't in my
heart to continue with that. Butaround that same time that I was
working in this education space.
I started to feel aI'm not sure what the word could
(14:50):
be. But there was something inmy spirit that just was not
settled. You know, and It justlike over the years, I was there
for six years, or five and ahalf years. So over the years,
it would come up. And I'll tellpeople like, you know, this,
there has to be something more,I want to do more, I believe I
(15:12):
have more potential. This, thisis not enough, you know, but the
job that I was in was, it was avery good paying job. Like I was
paid very well. I had two cars.
I had, like, if you looked at mefrom the outside up, like she
(15:36):
said, You know, it's one ofthose jobs where people feel
like, Oh, I've arrived, youknow, and then you just need to
put your feet up, and you'regood, you're gonna be there for
the next however many years, butthere's just something that kept
coming up. So every time that Iwould tell people that, oh, this
is my, I'm not okay. People willbe like, You should be grateful,
(15:57):
like, appreciate the job thatyou have. Right? So then they
would they, you know, so thenI'll just like bury it. And then
it'll come back up again nextyear. So by the time I was
getting to 2019, there was nowjust so much piled up that I had
(16:18):
thrown to the back, thrown deepdown whatever reasons I thought
it was. So I had one spirit thatwas saying that you were not
meant to be here. I had thingsto deal with abandonment. Just
(16:38):
that feeling of not belonging.
feeling unworthy, from just theexperience of the way, there was
just a lot of things that justneeded to be dealt with. So when
I got to 2019, I now was justfull blown in depression. And
(16:58):
then I'm also burning both endsof the candle and I'm tired, you
have no idea was lost. And Ijust had to say, you know, I
would find myself in parkinglots have gone shopping, I get
out of the shop, I get into mycar, and I just start weeping.
Like nothing that has actuallybrought it on, I just start
(17:22):
weeping. I can't even drive homefor the next 30 minutes because
I'm about to lose my mind. ThenI get
so let's, I'm gonna I'm gonnajump in here to La Chulu for a
moment if that's okay. Becauseone, I feel great through
(17:43):
coming. I feel great throughcomments. But before we get to
break through, you have said somuch. And I don't want the
listeners to get so involvedwith your story that they miss.
They missed what I call thetales te ll s ELLs, right. We
(18:03):
have symptoms, we have signs, wehave evidence that we are
burning out that we areoverwhelmed that we are
literally just surviving. And aswomen we're taught to ignore.
We're taught to ignore the signswere taught. And you Oh, my
gosh, you see, oh, you said somuch. Okay, so let me just
(18:25):
review just a few things. Firstof all, you mentioned this
definition of work, where peoplearound you even though you were
working, you were working. Butbecause it didn't fit a
traditional definition of work,there were people around you,
who accused you of not workingand made you feel this pressure,
(18:50):
that you need to go do somethingelse, you need to add something
or do something else, right? Weexperience this pressure, this
judgment. I always say a part ofchecking your backpack is
knowing what is your definitionof work? And does it align with
who you are, most of us haveborrowed a definition of work.
(19:11):
Most of us have borrowed adefinition that does not align
with who we are as women. Itdoes not align with our spirit.
So that definition of work wasso important. You talked about
all of the things that youwalked through. And first of
all, let me just stop for amoment and honor your
(19:32):
experience. And thank you forsharing with us. Because I know
there's somebody listening whoneeds to know that they're not
the only one. And I cannotimagine the trauma that you
endured. And I appreciate yougiving voice to women who have
(19:53):
survived such trauma. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing with us,and thank you for also sharing
how you just push it to thebackground. Let me hide myself
in work. Let me hide myself inbusyness. Let me hide myself
even in success. Let me hidemyself in doing because that is
(20:17):
too much. So I can't face that.
I let me push that back. And letme hide myself, let me hide
myself. And you mentioned inyour first experience with
burnout, how your body juststopped, your body just gave out
(20:40):
right? I consider burnout, it isan IT is an unwanted an
undesired shutdown, you don'tget a choice, your body, your
soul or your spirit, or severalof those just stop. It's shut
down. I cannot anymore. I cannotdo it. Right. In in one of your
(21:04):
other situations of burnout.
When you talk about being in theparking lot of the shop, and and
being so emotional, that youcan't even leave this, that's
your soul. That's your emotions,your your heart shut down. I
cannot do this. I cannot dothis. And in all of that Chulu
you weren't doing wrong thingslike you were working you were
(21:27):
taking care of a business. Andeven from the outside looking
in, you had the cars you had theincome, you had all the things
that people from the outsidelook at and say, Oh, you got it,
you got nothing to complainabout. But yet your spirit. Your
Spirit said, there's more. Yourspirit said this is not it. Your
(21:49):
spirit said we areuncomfortable. We are longing
something is missing. It's thatdanger zone between the zone of
expertise and the zone ofgenius, right. So I can't think
of the name of the author. Thebook is The Big Leap, where he
talks about that, that zone ofexit gate Chapman, that zone of
(22:10):
expertise is where you're reallygood, like better than most
people and the debt. The dangeris that we can get comfortable
and stay there because we'rereally good. And people will
look at us and say check thatsuccess. But yet there's a
longing, yet there's a pool, yetthere's a cry out on the inside
(22:35):
of you, that says there's more.
And so many women settle for thezone of expertise because it
looks good. And it sounds good.
But their spirit is screaming,trying to get their attention to
let them know that there's more.
(22:57):
So I want you to go back andplease, please continue. But I
didn't want anybody to miss allof the wealth that you're giving
us it oh gosh. And one morething. In your mom's business.
You said it was her passion andyour skill. If that is not the
perfect definition of zone ofexpertise, I've never heard it
(23:18):
that beautifully. It was herpassion, but your skill. And I'm
not saying we never servesomebody else's passion. But we
shouldn't have to sacrifice ourown purpose in order to serve
somebody else's passion, whenwe're serving someone else's
work our own purpose to shine aswell. But when it's your skill,
(23:42):
your expertise to somebodyelse's purpose, or somebody
else's passion, there's going tobe a misalignment and your soul,
your spirit is going to screamout at you. And I know it's been
a while since I came to you inthis way. But I've got something
to share with you, you all knowthat I'm in the process of
writing this book. And as I'mdoing this, there are strategies
(24:04):
and ideas and, and thoughts thatare coming to me that I've never
had, and I'm so full. I can'twait to get it to you and the
book is coming this year. But Ican't wait until then I'm seeing
the evidence in my life and inthe lives of folks that I'm
coaching one on one. And God haslaid it on my heart to create
(24:25):
something for folks who may beinterested in one on one
coaching but you can't afford itdoesn't fit into your budget. Or
maybe you're curious aboutcoaching, but you've never had
that experience before. This isfor folks who feel like you're
marching in place. Like you'reputting in all the effort but
you're not moving forward, youfeel buried and you're ready to
(24:47):
move into brilliance. I'm readyto share out. I've got some
strategies. I've got some thingsto work through with you.
Listen, friends, this is notgoing to be fancy. There's no
fancy sales page. There's nocourse plan form, this is going
to be us meeting once a monththrough zoom, for me to pour out
to you what I have and tosupport you in your journey.
(25:08):
That's it. That's it. This is40, not 40, this is 3030 bucks a
month. And there has to be somekind of investment, or I've
learned that people don't showup, right. But at that level,
you deserve $30 a month, you canfind $30 A month. So if you have
(25:29):
wanted to work with me, but justcouldn't find it in your budget,
if you've been curious aboutcoaching, and just not sure if
it was a good fit for you jumpin on the HEartwork Academy 2023
I have an even if we worktogether before a friend, you
ain't seen this yet. You haven'tseen this yet. I am so ready.
I'm so thankful. And I'm readyto share with you and I'm ready
(25:53):
to support you. Okay, so listen,if you're interested, join with
the link here. Fill out theform, join us in the HEartwork
Academy will kick off in May,we'll meet once a month on Zoom.
And we're gonna walk this thingout together. Nothing fancy, but
let's just get it done. It'stime for you to live in
brilliance. You need to knowwhat it means to show up in
(26:15):
purpose every day. And I'm readyto help you. All right, I can't
wait to hear from you. And I'mexcited to serve you. I'll see
you soon. Bye. AhPlease, julu Please continue.
Thank you for letting me jump inthere for a few minutes.
(26:35):
Of course. So I got to probablymid mid 2019. And I found myself
in bed bedridden just for threedays straight. I did a bath
didn't eat was just crying,crying, crying. And I got to the
(26:58):
third day. And I thought youknow what, enough is enough.
Like I have to do something, Ihave to find some sort of
solution. Because if I continueon this path, I don't know where
I'm going to be in the next twoweeks. The next month, will I be
here by the end of the year?
Like Will I still be on thisearth? Like, you know? So I, I'm
(27:20):
by happenstance, I happen tojust pick up my phone spirit
load. I picked up my phone, andI browse through and I found the
podcast by Patrice Washingtonredefining wealth. And I decided
(27:41):
to go to the beginning. And Isaid, Okay, let me just listen.
And she talks about pillars, shegot to explaining her space
pillar, which really just talksabout how your physical
environment is a representationof what's happening in your
mind. And that just there wassomething in those words that
(28:07):
just made me get up and start tomake my bed and start to clean
up. And I just continuedlistening to the podcast, from
there on, I was just bingelistening. And then eventually,
I did end up taking a programwith her with Patrice
(28:28):
Washington. But essentially whatI had to do to get out of that
depression, that the anxiety allof that was one get therapy. So
I am a big advocate for therapy,you know, really looking after
(28:50):
your mental health. In Africa,you know, we are we are and I'm
sure even in your community,you've heard things like, oh,
you know, therapies for likewhite people, you know, it's not
like we don't do that, that kindof thing. So there's a lot of
stigma around that. But I reallydo believe that that is
(29:12):
something that just literallysaved my life. The other thing
that saved me was community.
Because when I got into thiscontainer mastery and momentum
and purpose to platform, I foundwomen who were like minded like
(29:35):
hearted that were so open tosharing their love and just you
could borrow their faith. Likewhen I didn't have my own faith,
I had to borrow their what theysaw in me the greatness they saw
(29:56):
in me so that I could just Istarted to step out slowly,
slowly, you know, and they wouldlike one person would tell me,
oh my gosh, you're a good writerbecause you know, we have this a
group chat and you know, I'mlike one of those people that's
very long winded, you can tell.
So, you know, type a lot andlike, you good writer, you
(30:17):
should, you know, you should tryand think about what you could
do with this. And I was like,oh, okay, I was invited to be a
speaker and, and impostorsyndrome to Cova. And I said,
Oh, I've been invited, but I'mnot going to accept. What am I
sisters was like, Excuse me,ma'am. You are gonna go back.
Right back to those people.
(30:40):
Until then you are going tospeak okay. And I was like, Oh,
okay. And that's how I, youknow, I started speaking. And it
is even just from that, I thinkthat that's the talk that I did
was called African women, past,present future, the power of
African women Past, PresentFuture. And it was literally
(31:04):
that seed that, that birth towhat I'm doing right now with
African a woman. But if I hadreceived that invitation, and
not had the community to push meto get me out of, you know, all
of this nervousness and all ofthe intimidation, I wouldn't
(31:29):
have done it. And I don't eventhink that what I have right now
would would exist in the waythat it does. Anyway, then, let
me just fast forward. So in thatyear, I have even been nominated
for one of the best wedding cakedesigners in Zambia. So you can
when I tell you that thebusiness was a good business,
(31:51):
but it just was not for me.
That's what I mean. So I had toat the end of that year, I had
the old 2020 Hope number yearsago, you missed it notice end of
2020. Yeah, I decided to closethe business. And two days,
people were still calling measking me, Can I do a cake for
them. But I had to close itbecause it just wasn't aligned
(32:16):
with me. It wasn't what Iwanted. I had to go on a journey
to discover who I was. I had toreally then also think about,
you know, what, what do I wantto do on this earth on this
planet? What is my purpose? Whoam I called to be? Where do I
(32:38):
really shine? Where can I makethe most impact? So I, as I
mentioned, I decided, someonesaid, Oh, you're good at
writing. I had actually hadstarted a blog in 2017. It died
down decided to take it upagain. So I started the blog,
Africana woman. And then Ieventually started doing
(33:03):
interviews, and then I convertedthat into a podcast. So we have
the African a woman podcast, andthen a community develop because
you know, as a small businessowner, that was the height of
COVID. You know, and I mean,like for our business with
wedding cakes, it was a no like,you know, you just couldn't have
(33:26):
wedding. So when people aretalking about oh, pivot, where
do you pivot? Like, should wehave a secret wedding? Like
you're not I mean, the businesswas just decimated. So I knew
that as somebody who hadexperienced that there were
other people that areexperiencing things like that.
So I brought women together in acommunity and as the Africana
woman visionaries, knowing thatone I needed to let go of the
(33:49):
business. But then I just foundmyself with so much joy and
happiness in all that I do withAfricana woman, I was still
working my nine to five and Iworked with them for another
year. And I knew that I wantedto eventually leave so I figured
(34:11):
out a an exit plan. I ended upleaving earlier than my intended
date of exit. But and then I'dsay like it's been one year,
exactly one year when you'rehearing this and it's been about
a year since I have been out onmy own. I'm now working full
(34:32):
time with Africana woman and Iknow I was having a conversation
with with somebody and they'rejust like, Okay, what are the
lessons that you learned fromthis last year? And I said to
them, you know, I wish I wish Ihad started sooner because I
would be so much further. Butbecause of you know every Like,
(34:57):
allowing other people to tell meto define for me what sucks?
What success is that really justput a block on where I should be
right? Or, or even just theconfidence in myself, you know.
So I had to and I think also,whilst I was doing the program
(35:23):
with Patrice, I realized that Ihad lost my voice. And I really
just, I couldn't speak up, Icouldn't speak out. And I didn't
know who I was what I wanted tosay. So it really was a process.
And, you know, whilst you'regoing through this journey, it
(35:43):
doesn't happen overnight. Right?
It takes time. And that's whywhen I started, I was talking
about how it's like an onionpeeling back, there's so many
things that have happened in mylife.
But right now, I, I left my nineto five, I decided to leave the
(36:06):
capital city because the capitalcity is not for me, traffic, all
of that kind of stuff. I lovenature. So I moved to a small
town up north of the capitalcity. I live in a home, our
family home, which has got abeautiful garden, my office is
(36:28):
looking at it the garden, that'sthe thing that I see every day,
even in my bedroom, cut thegarden all around. And that's so
important to me. But you see,that's important to me, being in
nature may not be important toyou, but do you know what is
important to you? And are youactually pursuing it? You know,
(36:49):
so I am just so grateful that Iget to live this life that I get
to to be intentional and designthe type of life that I that?
That fills me. And I work withamazing people. Oh my goodness,
like I was reflecting on thecommunity that has grown around
(37:16):
African a woman. And I justthought, Oh, my goodness, you
did that. You did that. Youknow, we have a book club Real
Story really quickly. We have abook club and in the book club.
You know, we've we've had a lotof women, but then I've had some
men want to join us like okay,sure, if you're not, then I feel
(37:37):
uncomfortable. You can join andsign. So we read The Vagina
Monologues by Eve Ensler inDecember and in January. And one
of the gentleman sent me amessage, like a private message.
And he just said, You know what,I was skeptical about reading
(37:59):
this book. But I'm so gratefulthat you had us read this book,
it has completely changed theway that I see women. And I
think every young man needs toread this book. You need to we
need to get it in people'shands. And, you know, like, my
(38:20):
mind was just like, blownbecause literally changing lives
one person at a time. And, youknow, the types of conversations
that we have in there. We talkabout, you know, things that are
often taboo to talk about,people don't usually talk about
(38:41):
but we were breaking thatculture of silence. And like,
there's not really like monetaryterms of other way people define
success that can really expresshow grateful and happy I am that
I can be part of a communitylike this, that is literally
(39:06):
transforming lives.
You said that you're gratefulthat you get to live this life.
You chose to live this life. Youmade decisions that ushered you
(39:26):
in to where you are to today.
And I want to honor you formaking those decisions. It's not
it's not easy to go from good togreat, right? So the business
was good. The business was good,right? But Chulu you let go of
that business which was good.
(39:50):
And order to grasp and to holdon to something that's great.
This mission, this ministry,this beautiful community I have
African a woman. And not justthat, let's talk about the path
to healing and to freedom. Let'stalk about the path because you
mentioned counseling. And you'reright. And in our communities,
(40:15):
counseling is not something thatwe've been taught. It's not
something that we talk about,even if we do it. Um, it's not
something that we encourage, butit is timeout for that. We, I
was having a conversation withmy daughter, who's a young adult
now. And I told her us a baby,we're all raised by broken
people. And I told her, I said,I know who raised you. So I'm
(40:39):
telling you now go tocounseling. I'm taking full
advantage. I'm letting you knowthat I know I made mistakes, not
intentionally. But I know I did.
I know I wasn't a perfectparent, I know I've made impacts
on you, that may have negativeconsequences. Please go go to
counseling, please go understandyourself and understand how to
(41:00):
heal. And then you discussedcommunity and the power of an
aligned powerful community.
Right. So in one part of yourstory Chulu, you had a community
who was trying to force adefinition of work on you that
didn't align with who you are.
And then in another portion ofyour story, you had your mastery
(41:24):
and momentum and your p2pcommunity who drove you forward
because they were in alignmentwith who you are. So both
communities challenged you, butone community challenged you to
a place that drove you to burnout, another community
challenged you to a place thatdrove you to purpose. So what I
would ask the listeners today iswhere is your community driving
(41:47):
you? In what direction? Are theypushing you? Are they pushing
you towards purpose? Are theypushing you towards burnout? You
have to decide if you'reconnected to the right people.
And here's the beautiful part ofcommunity. Right. So you all
have heard me talk about PatriceWashington before you've heard
me talk about her programs.
(42:11):
Chulu and I we're not in thesame programs. So we had the
same coach, but I'm in masteryand momentum. Now she was in
mastery and momentum before I wewere not in the same p2p group.
But because of the communitythat Patrice builds and curates.
Now we are connected. Now wehave this connection that we can
(42:35):
share with you all today. Thatis the power of community, not
just the personal impact on you,but the impact you can have in
the world, the impact that youcan have in the world. So I just
want I want you to know thatthis, this moving into purpose
(42:57):
is literally one decision afteranother. It's one step at a
time, releasing the business, asuccessful business, I'm sure
was very, very difficult, but tolive in what you lives in today.
And to see that impact not juston the not just directly on
(43:19):
women, but through this youngman who said I see women
differently than I ever havenow. That is your purpose
impacting the world. That is youthe blessing that you are poured
into this earth impacting changein the world. And that is
(43:46):
beautiful. To Lou, I want to askyou a question and I want you to
answer this from your heart. Howdo you define disruption?
How do I define disruption? Ithink disruption is I think I
(44:18):
think disruption is it's a it'sI think it's like a divine call
and message that's inviting youto something better. I think a
lot of times, you know becausewe've been ignoring the signs
(44:43):
because we've been told like thespirit has been telling us like
you need to change you need toor you know maybe your health
you're not doing your healthwell. You know you've had signs
over and over and over again.
which we tend to ignore. Butthere comes a point where I
(45:04):
think, you know, God, Spiritjust says, You know what, I'm
just gonna have to shout. Andthen that's when the disruption
comes. So we've been grippedlike, it's like, you know, it
hits us on the left side, likeour, like our nowhere, but the
signs were there. Yeah, but youjust weren't listening.
(45:30):
Oh, my goodness, listen, I'vehad to keep myself on mute for
this entire interview, becauseI've been aiming and you and
shouting you down the wholetime. Often, what we experience
as trouble trial or frustrationis really disruption. And
disruption doesn't come to breakus. It comes to make us it comes
(45:52):
to push us into the space thatwe were created to live in. I
love I love your definition. AndI appreciate the work that you
are doing and the community thatyou are building and the way you
are pouring your life out tobuild up African women. I want
(46:14):
to know how can we learn fromyou? How can we support you? How
can we hear more from you? ChuluHow can this community connect
with you?
Thank you. Um, I think the bestplace is the website. So you
just go to Africana. woman.com.
So it's African with an A at theend woman.com on all socials,
(46:37):
Africana woman, so Instagram,Twitter, Facebook, but
personally, my playground isInstagram. So my personal handle
is truly by design. And when yougo on the website, it really
just opens you up to all thestuff that we're doing. We have
(46:59):
retreats, we have courses, wehave bought the book club, we
have the we have thevisionaries, and I mean, the
beauty, isn't it the beautyabout the internet like this
that we can connect, it's aglobal community. You know,
it's, we just we just cometogether and we are just helping
(47:23):
each other to be better to growto we, we stand on celebration,
collaboration, and connection.
So those are our three pillarsand values.
Beautiful, beautiful, I love it.
So I hope that you all willfollow to Lou will listen to her
(47:47):
podcast will go to her website,join her community, because I'm
telling you that my life isforever impacted by meeting this
woman. And I know it's the samefor you. So listen, we celebrate
you all as always, you know thatyou are powerful. You are
(48:09):
significant. And you are loved.
Love always PB day. Byeeverybody.
There's not really like monetaryterms of other way people define
(00:05):
success that can really expresshow grateful and happy I am that
I can be part of a communitylike this, that is literally
transforming lives.
(00:29):
Hey, hey, hey, friends, listen,I am too excited to share with
you all today. As you as you allknow, we have a new series
called women who definedisruption. And my heart and my
goal for this series is for youto be exposed to women who have
(00:50):
said no thank you to thestructured career ladders that
have been offered to them, butnot created, especially for
them, and who are living freelyin purpose, you know that one of
the strategies that we use to dodisrupt burnout is discovering
our brilliance or purpose,right. And not just discovering
(01:11):
it, but maximizing thatbrilliance, living in that
brilliance every day, notbecause someone gave us
permission, not because oureducation has led us to it. But
because we know, this is what wewere created to do. And this is
what we were called to do. And Iwant you to experience that
(01:31):
freedom. I also believe and inorder to experience that
freedom, you need to be exposedto it. You need to be exposed to
women who have done and areliving in this way so that you
know what is possible for youand for your life. So today
(01:52):
Today Today, I have a veryspecial guest on the podcast. My
sister, the beautiful ChuluChansa is coming to us from
Zambia, and she is going toshare her story. I'll just tell
you a little bit. She is thecreator and the host of the
(02:12):
Africana women with Chulupodcast. She is also the curator
and creator of the African womenPodcast Network. Come on
somebody come on network, okay.
And the African a womanvisionaries. She's a
storyteller. She's a storytellerin so many ways. So without
(02:34):
further ado, because she's goingto tell you much better than I
can Chulu, welcome so much.
Welcome to disrupting burnout.
And I'm going to greet you likeyou greet your community. Hey,
beautiful. I love it. Thankyou. I feel so welcome. I'm so
(02:54):
excited to be here. When I sawyour invitation, I was just
like, yes, yes, yes. must dothis.
Well, thank you for your Yes.
And thank you for sharing withus today. So we are going to get
right into it. And I'm going toask you to introduce yourself to
(03:14):
this audience in your own way.
Tell us your story. Tell us whoyou are.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Okay.
Hello, everybody. So my name isChulu. And I am the founder of
Africana woman. I like to referto myself as a light worker. I
am a storyteller. I am a mom. Iam just someone who is seeking
(03:39):
peace, joy, happiness. So I amfrom Zambia. And if you're not
familiar with that country, itis in the middle of Africa,
Southern Central Africa,landlocked country. And I am
trying to figure out whereshould I start from because I
(04:00):
you know, I feel like I have astory that has so many layers,
and they've been peeling backslowly. But I think it's so
essential to share the story ofhow I burnt out three times you
would think that I learned thefirst time I burnt up one
(04:21):
separate twice and still didn'tlearn I had to burn out three
times. Now I you know, I gotinto the workforce pretty much
as we all do, you know, you'regetting out of university, it's
all you you have to go find ajob. And to be honest, I was
(04:42):
kind of like, I would go into ajob and then I'll jump out and
then everybody will be lookingat me like oh, why are you not
working? Yeah. But I'm like, butI am working, I'm creating, you
know, this business or whateverit is, but because we're so used
(05:03):
to conventional systems andstructures, you know, everybody
has sort of like, what thepeople around me have had this
definition for what successlooked like. So I kept trying to
force myself back into thisworkforce, this space. But
(05:24):
essentially, I think I wouldstart my story probably foods
complicated. So my story from,you know, I got out of high
school, and then I went tostudy, now, I left my country
when I was 18 years old. Andobviously, if you're coming from
(05:44):
an African country, you know,here you are a majority, you've
never thought of things likerace or anything like that. And
I came to study in the States, Ifirst studied in the UK for two
years, and then I studied in theStates for four years, and I was
(06:06):
there for an extra year. So, youknow, when I came to the, when I
came to the States, you know, Iand the UK, then you I was
confronted with this thingabout, Oh, you are, you know,
with racism, with, with peoplehaving a problem with the color
(06:28):
of my skin, with people. Andeven worse, when you're coming
from Africa, you know, I heardthings like, Oh, I could never
date an African woman like, oran African girl, because you all
have AIDS, you know, so that forme, put a damper into my spirits
(06:50):
into my soul. And I was also, Igrew up with a single parents, I
grew up with my mother. Myfather was alive. He had other
children, but he just didn'tcare for me. So then I also had
abandonment issues, as well. Soby the time I was getting back
(07:11):
to Zambia, after my seven yearsout of the country, I was very,
I was very fragmented, verybroken. And I remember the, it
took me a while, first of all,to just reintegrate. So when I
finally did get a job, probably,I think, three or four years
(07:33):
later, from arriving back, I hadan experience, which was very
heartbreaking again. So Iexperienced being raped by two
men. I had gone out with afriend. I did not want to sleep
at his place. So when he got tohis car, his gait, I jumped out
(07:54):
of the car. This is midnight,way past midnight, I jumped out
of the car, and I startedwalking because I could hear I
could hear a busy center. So Ithought, Okay, let me just go
and get a let me go and get aride. I'll find a taxi there. So
(08:15):
I got out. And then I was met bythree gentlemen who, who
proceeded to rob me. So they gotmy bag, they got everything,
took everything. And I'm likewalking around disoriented. And
then I met two other men whothen rates were so and during
(08:36):
that process, the the originalthree men who had attacked me,
they even walked by and foundthis happening to me, but they
still walked on by. And afterthat experience, I was just now
totally shattered. So thishappened in our capital city,
(08:57):
and I couldn't stay, I had torun away. So I left the capital
city and I went to work for amining related company for the
up north. In that company, itwas, you know, it was a factory.
So it was 24/7. And it was astartup. So I had my manager or
(09:18):
the CEO, and then I was doingthe business admin, basically, I
was doing everything starting upeverything, but I buried myself
in work because I just couldn'thandle having to deal with all
of this stuff, which is on mypersonal life, right. So I
(09:40):
buried myself I Did everything Iwas doing accounting, I was
doing HR I was doing everythingyou can think of it often. And I
burned out, obviously, I peoplewill be calling me at 2am in the
morning, oh, my machine hasbroken in the in the factory on
(10:01):
a Sunday. You know, all week,I'm on call, it was just too
much my body just could not takeit anymore. And and then also, I
wasn't getting the support tosay I need help. That wasn't
coming. So then I just couldn'tdo it anymore. So I had to stop
(10:23):
that job. And I burnt out firsttime. Then the next time, then I
had a bit of a short break, didsome volunteer work. And then I
was invited to work as a managerat a hotel, a group of hotels.
So you know, went in as thehotel manager. And again, when
(10:45):
you're talking abouthospitality, these are very long
days. They're very long days,and then it's six days on one
day off. And then as themanager, I'm also on call, even
on my day off, so I would bethere opening up thing offices
(11:05):
or storerooms. First thing inthe morning 6am. And then I
would have to be the one to lockup, let's say the bar or
whatever it is at like midnight,because you're waiting for the
last person to leave burningboth ends of the candle. And I
(11:26):
still did it. Like I just didn'tlearn. I just came out of the
situation like that. But I stilljumped in. Why? Because I'm
still running. I'm still runningfrom actually dealing with all
of the things that have beenhappening and that have happened
(11:47):
to me. But I just don't want toface them. So I burned out,
burned out number two. Okay, sothen, um, I then decided that
okay, my mom was retiring aroundthat time. And she was kind of
trying to figure out like, whatam I going to do? So we decided
(12:09):
to start a a baking companytogether. Now, she had been
baking for a very long time. Andit was like a nun brain. I said,
Okay, why don't we do thisbaking thing, she had the baking
skills. And then I had the, themarketing the business side of
(12:30):
it, you know? So we put ourskills together, and we started
this company, and it was reallydoing well. But again, because
everybody's looking at mesaying, oh, yeah, you don't have
a job. Like, you know, they'relooking at me like you're not
(12:51):
working. But I'm like, I outworkyou think I am? Yeah, I mean,
you don't see the vision, butit's fine. So then I for the
third time, I got pressured togo back into a more
traditional nine to five. So Istarted off with one company and
(13:15):
then transitioned into another.
Now I was in the educationsector. Now, in that space, it
was much better. It was muchbetter in the sense that the
hours were better, would startearly, but then would also leave
earlier than most people. Butthen the business was still
going. Right. So the cakebusiness was still going so we
(13:38):
grid from doing specialitycakes, then we started
specializing in wedding cakes,you know, from one year we went
from three wedding cakes thatyear, the next year, we went to
17 wedding cakes, and then itjust started growing that way.
So literally, you know, I'mdoing this 95 And then I've also
(13:59):
got this business that's really,you know, growing and doing
well. Burning both ends of soaround 2019 I believe 2019 Yeah,
2019 My mom left the country andthen left the business with me
alone. I managed it for the yearbut I just couldn't do it.
(14:21):
Because essentially, that washer business. That's her
passion. So yes, I have theskills but it just wasn't in my
heart to continue with that. Butaround that same time that I was
working in this education space.
I started to feel aI'm not sure what the word could
(14:50):
be. But there was something inmy spirit that just was not
settled. You know, and It justlike over the years, I was there
for six years, or five and ahalf years. So over the years,
it would come up. And I'll tellpeople like, you know, this,
there has to be something more,I want to do more, I believe I
(15:12):
have more potential. This, thisis not enough, you know, but the
job that I was in was, it was avery good paying job. Like I was
paid very well. I had two cars.
I had, like, if you looked at mefrom the outside up, like she
(15:36):
said, You know, it's one ofthose jobs where people feel
like, Oh, I've arrived, youknow, and then you just need to
put your feet up, and you'regood, you're gonna be there for
the next however many years, butthere's just something that kept
coming up. So every time that Iwould tell people that, oh, this
is my, I'm not okay. People willbe like, You should be grateful,
(15:57):
like, appreciate the job thatyou have. Right? So then they
would they, you know, so thenI'll just like bury it. And then
it'll come back up again nextyear. So by the time I was
getting to 2019, there was nowjust so much piled up that I had
(16:18):
thrown to the back, thrown deepdown whatever reasons I thought
it was. So I had one spirit thatwas saying that you were not
meant to be here. I had thingsto deal with abandonment. Just
(16:38):
that feeling of not belonging.
feeling unworthy, from just theexperience of the way, there was
just a lot of things that justneeded to be dealt with. So when
I got to 2019, I now was justfull blown in depression. And
(16:58):
then I'm also burning both endsof the candle and I'm tired, you
have no idea was lost. And Ijust had to say, you know, I
would find myself in parkinglots have gone shopping, I get
out of the shop, I get into mycar, and I just start weeping.
Like nothing that has actuallybrought it on, I just start
(17:22):
weeping. I can't even drive homefor the next 30 minutes because
I'm about to lose my mind. ThenI get
so let's, I'm gonna I'm gonnajump in here to La Chulu for a
moment if that's okay. Becauseone, I feel great through
(17:43):
coming. I feel great throughcomments. But before we get to
break through, you have said somuch. And I don't want the
listeners to get so involvedwith your story that they miss.
They missed what I call thetales te ll s ELLs, right. We
(18:03):
have symptoms, we have signs, wehave evidence that we are
burning out that we areoverwhelmed that we are
literally just surviving. And aswomen we're taught to ignore.
We're taught to ignore the signswere taught. And you Oh, my
gosh, you see, oh, you said somuch. Okay, so let me just
(18:25):
review just a few things. Firstof all, you mentioned this
definition of work, where peoplearound you even though you were
working, you were working. Butbecause it didn't fit a
traditional definition of work,there were people around you,
who accused you of not workingand made you feel this pressure,
(18:50):
that you need to go do somethingelse, you need to add something
or do something else, right? Weexperience this pressure, this
judgment. I always say a part ofchecking your backpack is
knowing what is your definitionof work? And does it align with
who you are, most of us haveborrowed a definition of work.
(19:11):
Most of us have borrowed adefinition that does not align
with who we are as women. Itdoes not align with our spirit.
So that definition of work wasso important. You talked about
all of the things that youwalked through. And first of
all, let me just stop for amoment and honor your
(19:32):
experience. And thank you forsharing with us. Because I know
there's somebody listening whoneeds to know that they're not
the only one. And I cannotimagine the trauma that you
endured. And I appreciate yougiving voice to women who have
(19:53):
survived such trauma. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing with us,and thank you for also sharing
how you just push it to thebackground. Let me hide myself
in work. Let me hide myself inbusyness. Let me hide myself
even in success. Let me hidemyself in doing because that is
(20:17):
too much. So I can't face that.
I let me push that back. And letme hide myself, let me hide
myself. And you mentioned inyour first experience with
burnout, how your body juststopped, your body just gave out
(20:40):
right? I consider burnout, it isan IT is an unwanted an
undesired shutdown, you don'tget a choice, your body, your
soul or your spirit, or severalof those just stop. It's shut
down. I cannot anymore. I cannotdo it. Right. In in one of your
(21:04):
other situations of burnout.
When you talk about being in theparking lot of the shop, and and
being so emotional, that youcan't even leave this, that's
your soul. That's your emotions,your your heart shut down. I
cannot do this. I cannot dothis. And in all of that Chulu
you weren't doing wrong thingslike you were working you were
(21:27):
taking care of a business. Andeven from the outside looking
in, you had the cars you had theincome, you had all the things
that people from the outsidelook at and say, Oh, you got it,
you got nothing to complainabout. But yet your spirit. Your
Spirit said, there's more. Yourspirit said this is not it. Your
(21:49):
spirit said we areuncomfortable. We are longing
something is missing. It's thatdanger zone between the zone of
expertise and the zone ofgenius, right. So I can't think
of the name of the author. Thebook is The Big Leap, where he
talks about that, that zone ofexit gate Chapman, that zone of
(22:10):
expertise is where you're reallygood, like better than most
people and the debt. The dangeris that we can get comfortable
and stay there because we'rereally good. And people will
look at us and say check thatsuccess. But yet there's a
longing, yet there's a pool, yetthere's a cry out on the inside
(22:35):
of you, that says there's more.
And so many women settle for thezone of expertise because it
looks good. And it sounds good.
But their spirit is screaming,trying to get their attention to
let them know that there's more.
(22:57):
So I want you to go back andplease, please continue. But I
didn't want anybody to miss allof the wealth that you're giving
us it oh gosh. And one morething. In your mom's business.
You said it was her passion andyour skill. If that is not the
perfect definition of zone ofexpertise, I've never heard it
(23:18):
that beautifully. It was herpassion, but your skill. And I'm
not saying we never servesomebody else's passion. But we
shouldn't have to sacrifice ourown purpose in order to serve
somebody else's passion, whenwe're serving someone else's
work our own purpose to shine aswell. But when it's your skill,
(23:42):
your expertise to somebodyelse's purpose, or somebody
else's passion, there's going tobe a misalignment and your soul,
your spirit is going to screamout at you. And I know it's been
a while since I came to you inthis way. But I've got something
to share with you, you all knowthat I'm in the process of
writing this book. And as I'mdoing this, there are strategies
(24:04):
and ideas and, and thoughts thatare coming to me that I've never
had, and I'm so full. I can'twait to get it to you and the
book is coming this year. But Ican't wait until then I'm seeing
the evidence in my life and inthe lives of folks that I'm
coaching one on one. And God haslaid it on my heart to create
(24:25):
something for folks who may beinterested in one on one
coaching but you can't afford itdoesn't fit into your budget. Or
maybe you're curious aboutcoaching, but you've never had
that experience before. This isfor folks who feel like you're
marching in place. Like you'reputting in all the effort but
you're not moving forward, youfeel buried and you're ready to
(24:47):
move into brilliance. I'm readyto share out. I've got some
strategies. I've got some thingsto work through with you.
Listen, friends, this is notgoing to be fancy. There's no
fancy sales page. There's nocourse plan form, this is going
to be us meeting once a monththrough zoom, for me to pour out
to you what I have and tosupport you in your journey.
(25:08):
That's it. That's it. This is40, not 40, this is 3030 bucks a
month. And there has to be somekind of investment, or I've
learned that people don't showup, right. But at that level,
you deserve $30 a month, you canfind $30 A month. So if you have
(25:29):
wanted to work with me, but justcouldn't find it in your budget,
if you've been curious aboutcoaching, and just not sure if
it was a good fit for you jumpin on the HEartwork Academy 2023
I have an even if we worktogether before a friend, you
ain't seen this yet. You haven'tseen this yet. I am so ready.
I'm so thankful. And I'm readyto share with you and I'm ready
(25:53):
to support you. Okay, so listen,if you're interested, join with
the link here. Fill out theform, join us in the HEartwork
Academy will kick off in May,we'll meet once a month on Zoom.
And we're gonna walk this thingout together. Nothing fancy, but
let's just get it done. It'stime for you to live in
brilliance. You need to knowwhat it means to show up in
(26:15):
purpose every day. And I'm readyto help you. All right, I can't
wait to hear from you. And I'mexcited to serve you. I'll see
you soon. Bye. AhPlease, julu Please continue.
Thank you for letting me jump inthere for a few minutes.
(26:35):
Of course. So I got to probablymid mid 2019. And I found myself
in bed bedridden just for threedays straight. I did a bath
didn't eat was just crying,crying, crying. And I got to the
(26:58):
third day. And I thought youknow what, enough is enough.
Like I have to do something, Ihave to find some sort of
solution. Because if I continueon this path, I don't know where
I'm going to be in the next twoweeks. The next month, will I be
here by the end of the year?
Like Will I still be on thisearth? Like, you know? So I, I'm
(27:20):
by happenstance, I happen tojust pick up my phone spirit
load. I picked up my phone, andI browse through and I found the
podcast by Patrice Washingtonredefining wealth. And I decided
(27:41):
to go to the beginning. And Isaid, Okay, let me just listen.
And she talks about pillars, shegot to explaining her space
pillar, which really just talksabout how your physical
environment is a representationof what's happening in your
mind. And that just there wassomething in those words that
(28:07):
just made me get up and start tomake my bed and start to clean
up. And I just continuedlistening to the podcast, from
there on, I was just bingelistening. And then eventually,
I did end up taking a programwith her with Patrice
(28:28):
Washington. But essentially whatI had to do to get out of that
depression, that the anxiety allof that was one get therapy. So
I am a big advocate for therapy,you know, really looking after
(28:50):
your mental health. In Africa,you know, we are we are and I'm
sure even in your community,you've heard things like, oh,
you know, therapies for likewhite people, you know, it's not
like we don't do that, that kindof thing. So there's a lot of
stigma around that. But I reallydo believe that that is
(29:12):
something that just literallysaved my life. The other thing
that saved me was community.
Because when I got into thiscontainer mastery and momentum
and purpose to platform, I foundwomen who were like minded like
(29:35):
hearted that were so open tosharing their love and just you
could borrow their faith. Likewhen I didn't have my own faith,
I had to borrow their what theysaw in me the greatness they saw
(29:56):
in me so that I could just Istarted to step out slowly,
slowly, you know, and they wouldlike one person would tell me,
oh my gosh, you're a good writerbecause you know, we have this a
group chat and you know, I'mlike one of those people that's
very long winded, you can tell.
So, you know, type a lot andlike, you good writer, you
(30:17):
should, you know, you should tryand think about what you could
do with this. And I was like,oh, okay, I was invited to be a
speaker and, and impostorsyndrome to Cova. And I said,
Oh, I've been invited, but I'mnot going to accept. What am I
sisters was like, Excuse me,ma'am. You are gonna go back.
Right back to those people.
(30:40):
Until then you are going tospeak okay. And I was like, Oh,
okay. And that's how I, youknow, I started speaking. And it
is even just from that, I thinkthat that's the talk that I did
was called African women, past,present future, the power of
African women Past, PresentFuture. And it was literally
(31:04):
that seed that, that birth towhat I'm doing right now with
African a woman. But if I hadreceived that invitation, and
not had the community to push meto get me out of, you know, all
of this nervousness and all ofthe intimidation, I wouldn't
(31:29):
have done it. And I don't eventhink that what I have right now
would would exist in the waythat it does. Anyway, then, let
me just fast forward. So in thatyear, I have even been nominated
for one of the best wedding cakedesigners in Zambia. So you can
when I tell you that thebusiness was a good business,
(31:51):
but it just was not for me.
That's what I mean. So I had toat the end of that year, I had
the old 2020 Hope number yearsago, you missed it notice end of
2020. Yeah, I decided to closethe business. And two days,
people were still calling measking me, Can I do a cake for
them. But I had to close itbecause it just wasn't aligned
(32:16):
with me. It wasn't what Iwanted. I had to go on a journey
to discover who I was. I had toreally then also think about,
you know, what, what do I wantto do on this earth on this
planet? What is my purpose? Whoam I called to be? Where do I
(32:38):
really shine? Where can I makethe most impact? So I, as I
mentioned, I decided, someonesaid, Oh, you're good at
writing. I had actually hadstarted a blog in 2017. It died
down decided to take it upagain. So I started the blog,
Africana woman. And then Ieventually started doing
(33:03):
interviews, and then I convertedthat into a podcast. So we have
the African a woman podcast, andthen a community develop because
you know, as a small businessowner, that was the height of
COVID. You know, and I mean,like for our business with
wedding cakes, it was a no like,you know, you just couldn't have
(33:26):
wedding. So when people aretalking about oh, pivot, where
do you pivot? Like, should wehave a secret wedding? Like
you're not I mean, the businesswas just decimated. So I knew
that as somebody who hadexperienced that there were
other people that areexperiencing things like that.
So I brought women together in acommunity and as the Africana
woman visionaries, knowing thatone I needed to let go of the
(33:49):
business. But then I just foundmyself with so much joy and
happiness in all that I do withAfricana woman, I was still
working my nine to five and Iworked with them for another
year. And I knew that I wantedto eventually leave so I figured
(34:11):
out a an exit plan. I ended upleaving earlier than my intended
date of exit. But and then I'dsay like it's been one year,
exactly one year when you'rehearing this and it's been about
a year since I have been out onmy own. I'm now working full
(34:32):
time with Africana woman and Iknow I was having a conversation
with with somebody and they'rejust like, Okay, what are the
lessons that you learned fromthis last year? And I said to
them, you know, I wish I wish Ihad started sooner because I
would be so much further. Butbecause of you know every Like,
(34:57):
allowing other people to tell meto define for me what sucks?
What success is that really justput a block on where I should be
right? Or, or even just theconfidence in myself, you know.
So I had to and I think also,whilst I was doing the program
(35:23):
with Patrice, I realized that Ihad lost my voice. And I really
just, I couldn't speak up, Icouldn't speak out. And I didn't
know who I was what I wanted tosay. So it really was a process.
And, you know, whilst you'regoing through this journey, it
(35:43):
doesn't happen overnight. Right?
It takes time. And that's whywhen I started, I was talking
about how it's like an onionpeeling back, there's so many
things that have happened in mylife.
But right now, I, I left my nineto five, I decided to leave the
(36:06):
capital city because the capitalcity is not for me, traffic, all
of that kind of stuff. I lovenature. So I moved to a small
town up north of the capitalcity. I live in a home, our
family home, which has got abeautiful garden, my office is
(36:28):
looking at it the garden, that'sthe thing that I see every day,
even in my bedroom, cut thegarden all around. And that's so
important to me. But you see,that's important to me, being in
nature may not be important toyou, but do you know what is
important to you? And are youactually pursuing it? You know,
(36:49):
so I am just so grateful that Iget to live this life that I get
to to be intentional and designthe type of life that I that?
That fills me. And I work withamazing people. Oh my goodness,
like I was reflecting on thecommunity that has grown around
(37:16):
African a woman. And I justthought, Oh, my goodness, you
did that. You did that. Youknow, we have a book club Real
Story really quickly. We have abook club and in the book club.
You know, we've we've had a lotof women, but then I've had some
men want to join us like okay,sure, if you're not, then I feel
(37:37):
uncomfortable. You can join andsign. So we read The Vagina
Monologues by Eve Ensler inDecember and in January. And one
of the gentleman sent me amessage, like a private message.
And he just said, You know what,I was skeptical about reading
(37:59):
this book. But I'm so gratefulthat you had us read this book,
it has completely changed theway that I see women. And I
think every young man needs toread this book. You need to we
need to get it in people'shands. And, you know, like, my
(38:20):
mind was just like, blownbecause literally changing lives
one person at a time. And, youknow, the types of conversations
that we have in there. We talkabout, you know, things that are
often taboo to talk about,people don't usually talk about
(38:41):
but we were breaking thatculture of silence. And like,
there's not really like monetaryterms of other way people define
success that can really expresshow grateful and happy I am that
I can be part of a communitylike this, that is literally
(39:06):
transforming lives.
You said that you're gratefulthat you get to live this life.
You chose to live this life. Youmade decisions that ushered you
(39:26):
in to where you are to today.
And I want to honor you formaking those decisions. It's not
it's not easy to go from good togreat, right? So the business
was good. The business was good,right? But Chulu you let go of
that business which was good.
(39:50):
And order to grasp and to holdon to something that's great.
This mission, this ministry,this beautiful community I have
African a woman. And not justthat, let's talk about the path
to healing and to freedom. Let'stalk about the path because you
mentioned counseling. And you'reright. And in our communities,
(40:15):
counseling is not something thatwe've been taught. It's not
something that we talk about,even if we do it. Um, it's not
something that we encourage, butit is timeout for that. We, I
was having a conversation withmy daughter, who's a young adult
now. And I told her us a baby,we're all raised by broken
people. And I told her, I said,I know who raised you. So I'm
(40:39):
telling you now go tocounseling. I'm taking full
advantage. I'm letting you knowthat I know I made mistakes, not
intentionally. But I know I did.
I know I wasn't a perfectparent, I know I've made impacts
on you, that may have negativeconsequences. Please go go to
counseling, please go understandyourself and understand how to
(41:00):
heal. And then you discussedcommunity and the power of an
aligned powerful community.
Right. So in one part of yourstory Chulu, you had a community
who was trying to force adefinition of work on you that
didn't align with who you are.
And then in another portion ofyour story, you had your mastery
(41:24):
and momentum and your p2pcommunity who drove you forward
because they were in alignmentwith who you are. So both
communities challenged you, butone community challenged you to
a place that drove you to burnout, another community
challenged you to a place thatdrove you to purpose. So what I
would ask the listeners today iswhere is your community driving
(41:47):
you? In what direction? Are theypushing you? Are they pushing
you towards purpose? Are theypushing you towards burnout? You
have to decide if you'reconnected to the right people.
And here's the beautiful part ofcommunity. Right. So you all
have heard me talk about PatriceWashington before you've heard
me talk about her programs.
(42:11):
Chulu and I we're not in thesame programs. So we had the
same coach, but I'm in masteryand momentum. Now she was in
mastery and momentum before I wewere not in the same p2p group.
But because of the communitythat Patrice builds and curates.
Now we are connected. Now wehave this connection that we can
(42:35):
share with you all today. Thatis the power of community, not
just the personal impact on you,but the impact you can have in
the world, the impact that youcan have in the world. So I just
want I want you to know thatthis, this moving into purpose
(42:57):
is literally one decision afteranother. It's one step at a
time, releasing the business, asuccessful business, I'm sure
was very, very difficult, but tolive in what you lives in today.
And to see that impact not juston the not just directly on
(43:19):
women, but through this youngman who said I see women
differently than I ever havenow. That is your purpose
impacting the world. That is youthe blessing that you are poured
into this earth impacting changein the world. And that is
(43:46):
beautiful. To Lou, I want to askyou a question and I want you to
answer this from your heart. Howdo you define disruption?
How do I define disruption? Ithink disruption is I think I
(44:18):
think disruption is it's a it'sI think it's like a divine call
and message that's inviting youto something better. I think a
lot of times, you know becausewe've been ignoring the signs
(44:43):
because we've been told like thespirit has been telling us like
you need to change you need toor you know maybe your health
you're not doing your healthwell. You know you've had signs
over and over and over again.
which we tend to ignore. Butthere comes a point where I
(45:04):
think, you know, God, Spiritjust says, You know what, I'm
just gonna have to shout. Andthen that's when the disruption
comes. So we've been grippedlike, it's like, you know, it
hits us on the left side, likeour, like our nowhere, but the
signs were there. Yeah, but youjust weren't listening.
(45:30):
Oh, my goodness, listen, I'vehad to keep myself on mute for
this entire interview, becauseI've been aiming and you and
shouting you down the wholetime. Often, what we experience
as trouble trial or frustrationis really disruption. And
disruption doesn't come to breakus. It comes to make us it comes
(45:52):
to push us into the space thatwe were created to live in. I
love I love your definition. AndI appreciate the work that you
are doing and the community thatyou are building and the way you
are pouring your life out tobuild up African women. I want
(46:14):
to know how can we learn fromyou? How can we support you? How
can we hear more from you? ChuluHow can this community connect
with you?
Thank you. Um, I think the bestplace is the website. So you
just go to Africana. woman.com.
So it's African with an A at theend woman.com on all socials,
(46:37):
Africana woman, so Instagram,Twitter, Facebook, but
personally, my playground isInstagram. So my personal handle
is truly by design. And when yougo on the website, it really
just opens you up to all thestuff that we're doing. We have
(46:59):
retreats, we have courses, wehave bought the book club, we
have the we have thevisionaries, and I mean, the
beauty, isn't it the beautyabout the internet like this
that we can connect, it's aglobal community. You know,
it's, we just we just cometogether and we are just helping
(47:23):
each other to be better to growto we, we stand on celebration,
collaboration, and connection.
So those are our three pillarsand values.
Beautiful, beautiful, I love it.
So I hope that you all willfollow to Lou will listen to her
(47:47):
podcast will go to her website,join her community, because I'm
telling you that my life isforever impacted by meeting this
woman. And I know it's the samefor you. So listen, we celebrate
you all as always, you know thatyou are powerful. You are
(48:09):
significant. And you are loved.
Love always PB day. Byeeverybody.
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