June 7, 2023 • 44 mins
Welcome to Disrupting Burnout - a podcast where we beat burnout so that you can love your career again! This week on Disrupting Burnout, I’m joined by Leticia Wilson, a Woman Who Defines Disruption by teaching others how to unmute and rest.
With 15+ years of education experience and leadership, Leticia Wilson received her Master’s in Educational Leadership from Antioch McGregor (now Antioch Midwest) University (Yellow Springs, Ohio) and her Bachelors in Biology from Wilberforce University (Wilberforce, Ohio).
Currently, she is a doctoral student at Kansas State University in Leadership in Academic Advising – College of Education, Department of Special Education, Counseling and Student Affairs and she serves as the Director of Advising Initiatives.
When she is not assisting students, staff, and faculty, Leticia enjoys being in the community, advocating for social justice, cultural humility, equity, empowering women, eliminating racism, and inclusion. Today she is here to educate us on what it means to unmute and how we can become our very best through rest.
It’s Time To Disrupt Burnout:
03:00 - Leticia’s Story
08:30 - Addressing Unmuting
14:30 - The Hall Pass Mentality
25:30 - The Power Of True Rest
33:45 - Finding Courage & Community
Unmute and Rest Takeaways
● “I show up in this world as a daughter of the most high God.” - Leticia Wilson
● “My chapters are still being written.” - Leticia Wilson
● “I have the light of God inside of me.” - Leticia Wilson
● “You are a champion of your own perspective.” - Leticia Wilson
● “Unmuting is being able to voice your perspective and knowing that it will be valued.” - Leticia Wilson
● “You don’t need permission to be who God called you to be.” - Dr. PBJ
● “You have to rest to be at your best.” - Leticia Wilson
Connect With Leticia:
Website: https://leticiawilson.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leticia-wilson-m-ed-94287221
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@letjwil
Let’s Connect
● To connect with Dr. PBJ, go topatricebucknerjackson.com
● Follow Dr. PBJ on IG@drpatricebucknerjackson for#aspoonfulofpbj.
● Need a dynamic transformational speaker? Dr. PBJ is ready to serve. Check outDr. PBJ Speaks | https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/speaking
● Support The Show |https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lovepbj?locale.x=en_US
Upgrade to Premium Membership to access the Disrupting Burnout audiobook and other bonus content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1213895/supporters/new
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What I had to learn is that restis nothing, something that
(00:05):
doesn't have to be earned. Youare worthy of rest.
Hey friends is Dr. PBJ withanother episode of disrupting
burnout, and a special episodebecause I am introducing you to
(00:29):
another woman who definesdisruption. Now y'all Listen,
we've been on this journey. Soyou know what I'm talking about.
But let me just remind you, whenI say women who define
disruption, I'm talking aboutwomen who are taking hold of
their full God given identity,and showing up as themselves
(00:52):
regardless of the career ladder.
Regardless of what the culturehas taught us, we're supposed to
be those women who say, I'm donewith that. I'm going to be fully
who I am. And that is more thanenough. And young Today. Today.
First of all, let me just takeyou back to the moment that I
met this woman, because I'llnever forget it. I was speaking
(01:15):
at a conference in Texas. And Iremember looking around the
crowd from the stage and seeingthese beautiful eyes and this
beautiful smile, and this womanwas locked, locked in. After
that event, this woman came tome and immediately our hearts
(01:36):
committed immediately. And eversince then, we have walked
together. And I just can't waitfor you all to meet my sister,
Leticia Wilson, she is achampion for college students.
She is a daughter of sister andAuntie of the best you hear me.
(02:01):
She is also a TEDx speaker. Sheis also a director of academic
advising initiatives. Listen,listen, all the things her whole
resume, her bio will be in theshow notes. But I can't I can't
tell you everything. Because Ican't tell it like she can tell
it. So it is my honor to welcomelet's see see a Wilson to the
(02:26):
disrupting burnout podcast.
Thank you for joining me.
My doctor PBJ. Thank you forhaving me. Here on your
platform. Thank you. I'm sodeeply grateful to be here.
Listen, I can feel it. I don'tknow what's about to happen. I
(02:47):
don't know what's about tohappen. But I can feel it. I can
feel it. And I'm excited aboutit. So Leticia. Let's get right
in, tell the people who you are.
So first and foremost, I want torepeat it again for a second
time. Thank you, Dr. PBJ, forhaving me here today. So who am
(03:11):
I?
So if I were to stand naked inthe field, I would show up as a
human being first. Come on.
After thoseattributes are taken away, how
do I show up in this world? Ishow up in this world as a
daughter of the Most High God,I'm a believer in Jesus Christ,
(03:32):
I'm a Christian.
I'm also get the chance to be anauntie. My niece is three years
old. As far as my race andethnic background, I do show up
in this world as a person fromthe African diaspora, which
means that I'm Cuban, Caribbeanand African American, and I
(03:54):
embrace all of theintersectionality of who I am.
But I also recognize my powerand my privilege, because I am a
third generation collegeeducated black woman that's a
part of a great sorority calledAlpha Kappa Alpha Sorority
Incorporated, which means I am alegacy of three legacies of
(04:14):
college educated women. And Irealize and acknowledge that
that is a privilege.
I do have the honor to show up.
The way I make money is I'm inhigher ed and I work as an
administrator, but I've had theopportunity to work in many
different spaces. But I also getto connect not only with
students, but human beingsfirst, because before they show
(04:35):
up as students, their mothers,their fathers, their military
vets, they're also working inthe field. They're taking care
of elderly parents. They'removing, they're trying to climb
that corporate ladder or tryingto transition to a different
field. So they're humans first,so I get to interact with each
(04:56):
and every one of those students.
but I also get to work with mycolleagues since I do work at a
community college because we getstudents and colleagues from all
walks of life. And so what I'mtrying to do in this world, Dr.
PBJ, is I'm trying to be thebest version of myself. I'm
trying to show up well andintentionally be in the moment.
(05:20):
And that's, that's who I am. Mychapters are still being
written. Come on. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Thank you so much,not just for introducing
yourself to these folks. But theway you put a bow on that
introduction, because some wherewe've been taught that we have
to arrive at a thing, beforeyour significant before you're
(05:42):
important before you're goodenough, you have to arrive at a
certain place at a certainthing, get the degree, get the
job, get the title. But thetruth is, all of our stories are
still being written.
All of our steps are ordered,and we are still walking, we are
(06:06):
still walking. Talk to me aboutthe essence of who you are, and
how you bring that to all of thespaces that you show up in. I've
told you and I need to tell youpublicly let you change the
atmosphere of the space when youwalk in.
(06:26):
Like I remember you walking intothe room at that conference. And
it was like a magnet. Like theTheses here she
drew, it is the truth. Like youshowed up in that room, the
energy change, folks heartstarted smiling. It was like a
(06:48):
receiving line. Okay, like, sotalk to me about what you bring,
when you show up what causesfolks to respond in that way by
your very presence?
Well, first of all, I didn'trealize that I do that. I just
(07:09):
show up in a way that I am happyto see people, especially in
this pandemic, when we all havebeen shut in and just doing this
virtual thing. So when I get achance to engage with people in
person, I get excited. And Iknow that it says in Scripture,
be the light, be the light. Andmy name means joy. And so when I
(07:31):
grow up, to be able to engagewith people, I want to bring joy
because that's I have the lightof God inside of me.
Because every day that I'mgranted to be on this side of
the ground is a blessing. And soI get a chance to engage with
people like you with people likemy colleagues, friends from
afar, so I get excited. So Ican't hide my excitement. Um, I
(07:56):
don't have a poker face, Dr.
PBJ. And sometimes that does notserve me because my face speaks
before my mouth moves. Yeah. SoI'm working on that. But I'm
just, I'm just me.
Just me. Some that feedback, though? I
didn't. Oh, no, it's real. It isabsolutely. It's absolutely
(08:18):
real. And as I follow you, and Iwatched your TED talk, and I go
to your website, and you speakspecifically about something you
call unmuting.
So tell us what that means, andthe significance of unmuting.
(08:42):
So let me first pause and say,I'm still working on unmuting.
While I've said a TED talk, Ichampion that I'm still learning
how to do that myself everyday.
Soon unmuting to me, like I said,
in my TED Talk means being ableto show up not only being asked
to be at tables, but being ableto voice the opinions of their
(09:03):
own perspective, but also onaccount of other people that
you're representing. Right? Butit's a two fold. So not only do
you have to be able to unmute,but the cultural climate, the
climate of the institution, orthe company has to be a fertile
place where you feel comfortableenough to unmute. And not every
(09:26):
space lends itself for you tofeel comfortable. I think it's
called psychological safety. Itdoesn't allow you to unmute, but
it's a twofold you have to feelcomfortable being able to speak
up. Share your perspective,because you are a champion of
your own perspective. But youalso have to feel like you're in
(09:47):
a space that will not only hearyou, but follow up on what
you're bringing to the table.
unmuting is outside of thisvirtual space where we have to
hit onyou to kind of speak up, but
being able to voice yourperspective and knowing that it
will be valued.
(10:09):
Yeah, yeah. And when you talkabout it will be valued. And
it's a fertile space. Oh, that'spowerful. Talk to me practically
about what that looks like.
Because I have worked with a lotof leaders who said, Well, this
is a great place to work. Like,I don't understand why somebody
would not feel comfortablespeaking up. What does it look
(10:31):
like when it is a fertile space?
That's a really good question.
So what does it look like whenyou're in a fertile space? One
that people acknowledge whatyou've said, so they don't
necessarily have to repeat whatyou said. But they said, You
know what, let's see. See, Ihear you, and what you said,
(10:53):
let's work on that in this way.
So they're already talking aboutnext steps. When you open up
your mouth, and give asuggestion, or recommendation,
and opinion or perspective, one,so they acknowledge you. And
then even after the meeting, orafter the meeting after the
(11:16):
meeting, because we know thosehappen, yes, they follow up and
say, You know what, you broughtthis up in this setting, I
wanted to let you know feedbackon what has been done as next
steps. So that's what it meansto be in fertile ground of
unmuting. But then having aplace that's fertile, because
(11:36):
just like a plant, Dr. PBJ, ifyou're in fertile soil, not only
will you have growth at theroots, but you'll have growth on
top of the soil. So that's whatit means when you're in fertile
soil from.
That's so good. I need to pausethere for a minute, because one
of the lessons that I teachcompanies and organizations,
(11:57):
don't ask the people if youdon't truly want to hear, and if
you're not going to do anythingabout it, how often do we ask
the question, we have theemployee satisfaction survey, we
have the meeting, we have the100 and 1000 committees, we have
(12:17):
it, but no action. No actionfollows what people have
contributed. And it doesn't meanthat you can do all the things
all the time or evenimmediately. But at least
acknowledge and give me feedbackand help me know what to expect.
(12:38):
Because when you don't tell mewhat to expect, I make up my own
story. That's human nature. WhenI don't know what's next, then I
start making up a story ofwhat's next. And my story is
often worse than reality. Butyou left room for that for that
harmful story. Because you didnot follow up. You did not tell
(12:59):
me you did not give meexpectations, even if even if
the expectation is I need tohear more about this from you.
Or I need to personally learnmore about this so that I can
understand and be in a betterposition to support you,
whatever. Sometimes the feedbackis, I don't know. Yes.
(13:23):
Yes. And yes.
Sometimes the answer is I don'tknow. And we get so prideful and
pompous. When we get when we geta title. We get so prideful and
feeling like we always have tohave the answer. But if you
always have to have an answer,why do you need a team?
(13:43):
Why do you need other people youneed other people because you
don't know it all. And everyonehas something to contribute. So
even if the follow up is thankyou for making me aware. I'm not
proud to say it but I don't knowthis. I was not I was not aware.
(14:05):
And I am going to educate myselfso that you and I can have a
powerful conversation and thinkabout next steps. That is that's
what I'm talking about. So inthe vein of unmuting you shared
a concept with me that I havenever forgotten you share this
(14:27):
concept of needing a hall pass.
Do you remember thisconversation?
Yes. Listen, I have I have saidit, but I gave you credit every
time solet's protect your intellectual
property right now. Okay. Thisthought belongs to lotc Wilson
we are marking it all right. Weare marking it right now. But
(14:52):
you got to you got to sharethis. You got to share this
because this revelation isso powerful. So tell people
about the hall pass.
If I was a little bit lighter, Iwould be red in the face. Um,
but nonetheless, this came uporganically, I believe in our
(15:14):
coaching session because I saymy doctor PBJ, because, yes, she
is my life coach. But also I puta personal pronoun on it, she's
mine.
Live in our conversation.
I grew up in a household whereyou had to put a handle on
(15:34):
things, you couldn't just callpeople by their first names,
right? It was either Yes, ma'am.
Mr. or Mrs. or auntie and uncle,even though you weren't related
by blood, right? Oh, that, Iwant you to understand the
context of where this is comingfrom before I explain the hall
pass mentality.
And then also, I was raised inan environment where you respect
(15:57):
your elders. So elders can meanby age, by title, by just living
life by yours existing on thisworld. And so in that
I was raised to really, respectand respect means you do as
you're told, and if you want todo something that is outside of
(16:21):
the box, or that is not told toyou, you need to ask for
permission. So now I'll talkabout the hall pass mentality
now, hopefully, that this willmake sense. So that has carried
into my adult life, because ofhow I was raised. And it's no
fault of anybody's not my motherand my father, because my mother
and father have been married for42 years and a beautiful
(16:45):
marriage, right. And they raisedme the best that they get that
they can, and they did a darngood job doing those things. So
myself as I touch my pearls, butI will say, in my adult life,
living this life over fourdecades now, because I'll be 40.
This year, I had torelearn what it means to not
(17:08):
always ask for the hall pass. Sofor example, in work, if I have
a training that I'm doing onanother campus, I would reach
out to my supervisor and say,Can I leave at this time? Can I
go and set up? One? If I wantedto do something innovative that
(17:30):
was never done before? I wouldask permission, I have this
idea. Can I do it instead ofdoing it? How we've always done
it? Can I try it in thismethodology?
That's the hall pass mentality.
If I wanted to take agency andsay I want to apply to be a
speaker at this conference, Iwould ask permission before I
(17:53):
even sent in the proposalthat's asking for a hall pass
mentality, or even in a meeting.
While I have been invitedbecause I'm an administrator, I
would be invited to the table.
I would feel a little as we sayin the culture, some kind of
(18:13):
way. I'm not speaking up becauseI didn't want to overshadow or
overstep or overspeed oversomebody else in the room that
may have a title that was twotitles ahead of me, that is
asking for that Hall Passmentality. So what I had to re
think and reframe and relearn isI was brought to these tables
(18:35):
for a reason. Come on, yourvoice matters. I shouldn't have
to ask permission. Yes, there'sa decorum. Yes, there is a way
that you approach that. Yes, itdepends on your voice
intonation, and how you saythings, don't get it wrong, and
don't get it twisted, you stillhave to come professional and
correct. But you have a stakehere, you are worthy. That's why
(18:58):
you were asked to these tables,so refute that Hall Pass
mentality that's from gradeschool, when you at raise your
hand and had to ask for a hallpass. So you can go use the
restroomresonating in your spirit, and
you are a professional?
Yes, you can take the foundationof what was said. But then you
(19:21):
need to elevate yourself byaction and by thought so I had
to change my mindset. Dr. PBJfrom a fixed mindset on this is
how it always has to be done toI need to have the growth
mindset within myself to knowthat these are things that I no
longer have to submit tothis and I know it's been a
(19:43):
while since I came to you inthis way. But I've got something
to share with you all know thatI'm in the process of writing
this book. And as I'm doingthis, there are strategies and
ideas and and thoughts that arecoming to me that I've never had
and I'm soAll, I can't wait to get it to
you and the book is coming thisyear. But I can't wait until
(20:04):
then I'm seeing the evidence inmy life, and in the lives of
folks that I'm coaching one onone, and God has laid it on my
heart to create something. Forfolks who may be interested in
one on one coaching, but youcan't afford it doesn't fit into
your budget. Or maybe you'recurious about coaching, but
you've never had that experiencebefore. This is for folks who
(20:26):
feel like you're marching inplace, like you're putting in
all the effort, but you're notmoving forward, you feel buried,
and you're ready to move intobrilliance, I'm ready to share.
I've got some strategies, I'vegot some things to work through
with you. Listen, friends, thisis not gonna be fancy. There's
no fancy sales page. There's nocourse platform, this is going
(20:49):
to be us meeting once a monththrough zoom, for me to pour out
to you what I have and tosupport you and your journey.
That's it. That's it. This is40, not 40, this is 3030 bucks a
month. And there has to be somekind of investment. Or I've
learned that people don't showup, right. But at that level,
(21:10):
you deserve $30 a month, you canfind $30 A month. So if you have
wanted to work with me, but justcouldn't find it in your budget.
If you've been curious aboutcoaching and just not sure if it
was a good fit for you jump inon the HEartwork Academy 2023. I
have an even if we work togetherbefore a friend, you ain't seen
(21:34):
this yet. You haven't seen thisyet. I am so ready. I'm so
thankful. And I'm ready to sharewith you and I'm ready to
support you. Okay, so listen, ifyou're interested, join with the
link here, fill out the form,join us in the heart work
Academy will kick off in May,we'll meet once a month on Zoom.
(21:54):
And we're going to walk thisthing out together. Nothing
fancy, but let's just get itdone. It's time for you to live
in brilliance. You need to knowwhat it means to show up in
purpose every day. And I'm readyto help you. All right, I can't
wait to hear from you. And I'mexcited to serve you. I'll see
you soon. Bye ahso you said you need the mindset
(22:19):
and the behavior or the action?
You need both right? So we don'trealize like until we come to a
moment where where someone orwhere we can have a mirror held
up so that we can see ourselves,we don't realize the lessons
(22:42):
we've learned and how it directsour behavior or restricts our
behavior on a daily basis.
Right? When you said this to me,it hit me like a ton of bricks
even. So you spokeprofessionally, even outside of
(23:03):
the professional realm. Right?
Like how often do we ask for ahall pass to for our eat for
even our own wellness, our ownself care? Who are you checking
in with for permission to do thethings that you know you need to
do. And again, we're not talkingabout being out here just doing
(23:23):
whatever not caring aboutbecause we are communal beings,
we're in community with otherpeople. And we honor those
relationships and those bonds,and you don't need permission to
be who God called you to be.
You don't need a hall pass toshow up as yourself
(23:47):
on a daily basis. As a matter offact, that's exactly what the
world needs from you.
What the world needs from you isfor you to be everything that
God created you to be there areenough other people they got
that covered you're the only onethat can be you.
You are the single creation Haveyou ever considered that you had
(24:09):
the single creation on the wholewide earth that can be you and
bring what you were uniquely Icall it your innate unique
gifts, your your innate uniquegifts you are the single
creation on the earth that canbring that
the only one and how many yearsdo we spend toiling and
(24:34):
pretending and masking andtrying to be somebody else? We
were created in our own gifting.
So how do we start to take stepsto change that mindset to change
that behavior so that we canunmute so that we can unmask? So
(25:00):
that we can release the hallpass mentality and start to walk
into the fullness of who Godcreated us to be.
So I think there's a couple ofthings that you can do this is
from my experience, as I'm stilllearning. Yes, one is rest is
(25:21):
resistance. That book I read byDr. Tricia, it changed my whole
life. Right? Because this hustleculture is violent. We're always
trying to reach the new thing,do the other thing, do things
for our husbands, our partners,our children, at work in our
(25:43):
civic organization, everybody'spulling, pulling, pulling, and
we feel like our schedule has tobe filled up, or we don't feel
like we're being productive. Andso when we do take rest, we feel
like we have to earn breast.
Absolutely not. That's why itsays in Scripture about the
Sabbath, which means rest. Butwe don't really know what that
means, especially as women,because we're used to doing the
(26:06):
thing for everybody else. And sowhat I had to learn is that rest
is nothing, something thatdoesn't have to be earned, you
are worthy of rest. And restlooks differently to everybody.
If that means when you come homefrom work, you don't feel like
talking, you just want to put onthe TV and start cooking your
(26:27):
dinner. That could be your rest.
If rest means in the middle ofthe day for your our lunch
break. Instead of taking thewhole hour to eat, you're going
to take 15 minutes and walkbecause you have shoes in your
office. And you're unpluggedfrom technology, that's rest, if
rest means that you're going ona family vacation. But on the
(26:49):
back end, you're going to stay acouple of more days. So you can
just have time by yourself,because you're tired of people
in or even having family time.
Because you need time to just bewith yourself. That could be
rest. So I had to change mymindset on earning rest. Because
you have to rest to be at yourbest. And I had to learn that
rest does not always need to bephysical rest. But it can be
(27:12):
mental rest. That can meanturning off my cell phone,
taking off some social mediaapps, but just saying I'm going
to take this time to love on me.
And it's not maintenance. Ithink people get rest mixed up
with maintenance. Maintenance isgetting your hair down your
nails done. Dr. PBJ. You talk tome about that. That's just
(27:34):
maintenance. But rest issomething that you incorporate
every day. And it doesn't haveto look the same way. So that's
the first step. So we ask thequestion again, Dr. PBJ? Because
I just went off on a tangent, Iforgot. No, that was perfect.
That was perfect. Because thequestion is, how do we start
taking the steps towardsunmuting and releasing that
(27:55):
whole path? So let me just sithere for a minute. We got to sit
here for a minute, because weautomatically think there's a
doing when when I think how do iI'm waiting on you to give me an
action step I'm waiting on youto tell me the grind the do the
step the action. And youliterally said sit down
(28:18):
somewhere.
Have a seat. Have a seat that wehave to talk about the power of
true rest.
And and I know that we'rehearing it more after or
wherever we are concerned thepandemic right now. We're
hearing it more but we are notbelieving this yet. We still
(28:41):
have people who are burnt outwho are overwhelmed who are just
surviving. We are not listeningyet. In Western culture
specifically, because I canspeak to this. We have learned
that success means overdoingoverworking continual toil. And
(29:03):
the truth of the matter is wemiss the mark, because our
brains are not even created tohandle the level of pressure
that we allow. Absolutely not.
So our wisdom is stifled. Ourcreativity is stifled. There are
ideas in you that cannot evencome forward because you won't
(29:25):
rest.
There are innovative thoughtsand you there are answers in you
that your family needs that youneed that this world needs. But
it can't even come throughbecause you are so overwhelmed
and you will not stop to hearyour own thoughts. There was a
(29:49):
day where we would have quiet atsome time. Let's see. See. I
don't know if you remember this.
You're just a tad bit youngerthan me.
But do you remember when TVsused to go off like Star
Spangled Banner, you're notgetting nothing else to the next
morning, like, TVs are done,like the channel went off,
(30:11):
everything was done, right? Likeyou, you didn't get anything
else in the next day. And now wegot 24 hours of hundreds,
hundreds of channels andopportunities to continue
feeding our brain feeding ourbrain. And not just that, but
you have it at your fingertips,now you have it. So you don't
(30:32):
even have to be in a space wherethere's a television or a
computer, you carry it in yourpocket or in your purse or in
your bag. And you have accessnot only to the devastation in
your local area, but you haveaccess to know about the
devastation from all over theworld. There was a day that it
(30:53):
will take weeks for us to findout something that is happening
on the other side of the world.
And now in seconds, you arebombarded with the travesties of
this world, not just your town,not just your state, your
region, your country, but thewhole world. And our brains were
not created to manage and holdand process this level or amount
(31:17):
of information. And until wetake the intentional, the
intentional and like you saidit's it is revolutionary. It is
it is resistance to take theintentional action to step away
from the grind from the busyfrom the running from the
(31:42):
pursuing from the ladder to sayI'm I'm going to rest
I'm going to and rest is notsitting on the couch and doom
scrolling on your phone. That'snot rest, though. No, ma'am. No,
ma'am. No. It's not rest, youdidn't give your brain a break.
(32:02):
No stop. You may be sitting butyou didn't stop, right.
You may be sleeping, but you'renot resting Hmm. You're not
resting because even in yoursleep, you are toiling mentally,
over all the things that are onyour plate, there is no surprise
(32:23):
that our mental health crisis isat the level that we're
experiencing right now. Becauseour minds, our very souls are
crying outand calling out to us that they
are overwhelmed.
And they've had enough.
So I just have to honor that youdidn't give us another step to
(32:48):
do. You didn't give us anotheraction to take. You gave us
permission to stop, clean,clean.
We have to stop.
Greatness will only flow whenyou're clear.
(33:09):
And you can be clear when you'reoverwhelmed. You sure can't.
You can't be you can't be. Soback to the original question.
That's okay. That is okay. Backto the originally scheduled
program.
(33:30):
So in case you because that waspowerful enough, but in case you
had something else to add, isthere anything else that you
offer for us to move forward inunmuting and releasing the hall
pass,releasing the hall pass and
unmuting one it takes the restso you can be your best to it
(33:50):
takes courage. And I want to Iwant to say that because
depending on how you grew up,depending on your culture, it
may not feel comfortable, it maynot feel natural, your natural
inclination to want to unmuteright. Because of culturally
you're taught, you're younger,you have less experience. You're
(34:15):
the youngest person in the room,you better be quiet, you can be
seen but not heard. And so thatfilters to your adulthood as
well because of the respect ofthe elders, and so on and so
forth. But that means it doesn'tmean that you dishonor how you
were raised. But it does meanthat it takes courage enough to
(34:37):
say, Well, I have something toadd to that. And to say it in a
respectful manner, courage to beable to unmute and not ask for
the whole path. So the resting,the courage, it also takes
a community. You talked aboutthat on your last podcast
(35:00):
Ask that I listened to Dr. PBJ.
And I'm not talking about, likeyou said, a community of
convenience, like you talkedabout convenient because they're
geographically close,convenient, because they're in
your same area of occupation,right? You have all these higher
ed people, if you're in highered, you have all these people
that are in the DEI space, youhave all these speakers that are
(35:21):
a part of your space, butsurrounding yourself
intentionally, with a communityof people that are not always
your cheerleaders that are thereto see you be your best self.
They're not always in your sameoccupation. My best friend, I'm
gonna call out her name, ChanelWheeler. She's a graphic
(35:42):
designer, we've been bestfriends for almost 20 years.
She's known me since sophomoreyear of college, and I've known
her, we have nosimilarities in our occupations,
I have no idea about everythingthat entails in graphic design.
She doesn't know a lot abouthigher ed. But you know, what we
do have, we have other's back,just like we say in the
(36:03):
sorority, we lean on the shield.
Yeah, it's not Greek, but she ismy best friend. And so having
her as my community members, shedoesn't live in the same space.
She lives in ATL, and I'm herein TX, Texas. Also somebody from
different generational point ofview. Because while somebody
(36:24):
your age, or maybe somebodythat's close to your age, may
have value, somebody that's moreseasoned, that may have 15 or 20
years on, you can say you knowwhat you should do this, because
I wonder what would havehappened if I would have took
those steps when I was sharing.
So they impart pearls of wisdomon you. But also by gender, you
(36:44):
need to surround yourself withdifferent people, even outside
of who you are, by your gender.
So I have males that I revere,like my pastor of my church, the
way that he leads the way thathe always gives gratitude. So
having those community membersallows me to have the courage
(37:08):
allows me to give myselfpermission to rest. But it
surrounds me with people thatinsulate what true leadership
should be, and what it can looklike, because they're coming
from all these differentperspectives. Because I'm not
siloed in this isolated space ofpeople that just look like me
talk like me worship like me,but I've surrounded myself,
(37:31):
don't get me wrong, I'msurrounding myself with people
that are amazing. And differentparts of their life. have
community members that I revere,because of the way that they
take care of their body, theirtemple. So they're really good
at working out and beingdiligent about what they feed
their body, either mentally or,or by eating. I may have people
(37:52):
that I revere, because they'redutiful, wise, they're great
partners, I may have otherpeople part of my community that
are good at financial savviness,right? Because I can always be
more financial literate, becauseit's not about how much you
make. But what you do with themoney you do AV, right. And then
I surround myself with peoplethat are in the speakers in the
(38:13):
speaker lane, right, because I'ma speaker and consultant. So
what does it look like to do thescaling? And so being able to
unmute means that I have acommunity of members because
we're not built to be isolated.
We're notcapitalism says that you should
be able to do this by yourselfand do it until you work hard,
and then you're dead and buriedunder? Absolutely not. Because
(38:37):
when we leave this earth, it'sabout the legacy. It's about
that dash Dr. PBJ. It's the dashof when you were born and when
you're dead. But what happenedin the dash, that's what allows
you to unmute, that allows youto not ask for the hall pass
because you have a community ofpeople that are wrapping their
(38:57):
arms around you and sharingtheir experiences, giving you
feedback sometimes wanted,sometimes unwanted.
Also just there to say, Hey,you're not in this alone.
I love it. I love it. Oh, I loveit. I can't say that better. I
(39:20):
just want to add one thing whenyou talk about courage. Because
I want to feel courage, as youwere saying that something
popped in my heart to remindfolks that everybody wasn't
raised like you, meaning you maybe working with folks who were
raised with the privilege to saywhat they wanted to say when
(39:40):
they needed to say it to expressthemselves without boundaries.
So that means they're probablymore free to to express
themselves now, because they hada privilege growing up to do
that. So while you arerestricting yourself
Yeah, and your mind is tellingyou, you are not allowed. And
(40:04):
this is not acceptable. You'reat the table with people who
don't have that mindset.
So if they have the privilege,even now from childhood to now,
if they have the privilege tounmute and speak freely, why
not?
Why not you? And here's somefuel for your courage, why not
(40:27):
you? Period?
Why not you? Why not you? Whycan't you be free? Why can't you
rest? Why can't you take avacation without answering
emails and answering everybody'scalls? Why can't you have a
weekend, where you are away fromwork and not having to worry
(40:50):
about anybody else but yourself?
Why can't you go away from yourhome? Do something according to
your financial level? Becausethere are many options. Do
something according to yourfinancial level that physically
gets you away, so that you canbreak away and truly rest? Why
not you? Why can't you walk inpurpose and be fully who God
(41:11):
created you to be? Why not you?
God is not a respecter ofpersons.
So if he did it for one, why notyou? Why not you? Let's see, see
it. Listen, we gotta let thesegood folks go. But you know, I
can talk to you all day long.
Before we go. For those who wantto hear more from you connect
(41:36):
with you, maybe work with you,how can they connect with you?
I have to thank you for being inthis space. My coach, Dr. PBJ,
thank you for having me, you canconnect with me. I'm
intentionally only on twoplatforms, folks. Because that's
(41:59):
the way that I rest is not beinginundated with a lot of
different social media. So I'mintentionally connected, you can
connect with me on LinkedIn, youcan also connect with me on
YouTube, you can also connectwith me if you would like for me
to speak at your event, becauseI believe in empowering you to
be your best self, allowing youto let your light shine. So you
(42:22):
connect with me at low TCOwilson.com, which is my name.
And then you can connect with meon LinkedIn because I'm pretty
active on LinkedIn. And I wouldlove to engage with you I do
reply to direct messages, orDMS, as they call it. But I
would love to work with you. Iwould love to talk to you about
(42:42):
your journey. And like I said,I'm still learning but what I've
learned, I want to share.
Absolutely, absolutely. All ofLeticia's information will be in
the show notes. So you can justclick and connect with her right
away. You need to do that. Youneed to do that if you are ready
(43:03):
for your light to shine. If youare ready to be unapologetic
about who you are, who Godcreated you to be. If you know
you've been you've been muted.
If you know you've been livingby the Hall Pass mentality. You
need to reach out to the LeticiaWilson.
I know I know you let this lightshine on you friend you ain't
(43:26):
got no choice but toknow that. So let's see. See,
I'm grateful. Thank you forsharing the space with me. Thank
you for allowing me to journeywith you.
It's always an honor and I'malways so davon brown.
So thank you my sister. Thankyou. As always friends, do you
(43:47):
know that you are powerful? Youare significant. And you are
loved. Love always PPT
What I had to learn is that restis nothing, something that
(00:05):
doesn't have to be earned. Youare worthy of rest.
Hey friends is Dr. PBJ withanother episode of disrupting
burnout, and a special episodebecause I am introducing you to
(00:29):
another woman who definesdisruption. Now y'all Listen,
we've been on this journey. Soyou know what I'm talking about.
But let me just remind you, whenI say women who define
disruption, I'm talking aboutwomen who are taking hold of
their full God given identity,and showing up as themselves
(00:52):
regardless of the career ladder.
Regardless of what the culturehas taught us, we're supposed to
be those women who say, I'm donewith that. I'm going to be fully
who I am. And that is more thanenough. And young Today. Today.
First of all, let me just takeyou back to the moment that I
met this woman, because I'llnever forget it. I was speaking
(01:15):
at a conference in Texas. And Iremember looking around the
crowd from the stage and seeingthese beautiful eyes and this
beautiful smile, and this womanwas locked, locked in. After
that event, this woman came tome and immediately our hearts
(01:36):
committed immediately. And eversince then, we have walked
together. And I just can't waitfor you all to meet my sister,
Leticia Wilson, she is achampion for college students.
She is a daughter of sister andAuntie of the best you hear me.
(02:01):
She is also a TEDx speaker. Sheis also a director of academic
advising initiatives. Listen,listen, all the things her whole
resume, her bio will be in theshow notes. But I can't I can't
tell you everything. Because Ican't tell it like she can tell
it. So it is my honor to welcomelet's see see a Wilson to the
(02:26):
disrupting burnout podcast.
Thank you for joining me.
My doctor PBJ. Thank you forhaving me. Here on your
platform. Thank you. I'm sodeeply grateful to be here.
Listen, I can feel it. I don'tknow what's about to happen. I
(02:47):
don't know what's about tohappen. But I can feel it. I can
feel it. And I'm excited aboutit. So Leticia. Let's get right
in, tell the people who you are.
So first and foremost, I want torepeat it again for a second
time. Thank you, Dr. PBJ, forhaving me here today. So who am
(03:11):
I?
So if I were to stand naked inthe field, I would show up as a
human being first. Come on.
After thoseattributes are taken away, how
do I show up in this world? Ishow up in this world as a
daughter of the Most High God,I'm a believer in Jesus Christ,
(03:32):
I'm a Christian.
I'm also get the chance to be anauntie. My niece is three years
old. As far as my race andethnic background, I do show up
in this world as a person fromthe African diaspora, which
means that I'm Cuban, Caribbeanand African American, and I
(03:54):
embrace all of theintersectionality of who I am.
But I also recognize my powerand my privilege, because I am a
third generation collegeeducated black woman that's a
part of a great sorority calledAlpha Kappa Alpha Sorority
Incorporated, which means I am alegacy of three legacies of
(04:14):
college educated women. And Irealize and acknowledge that
that is a privilege.
I do have the honor to show up.
The way I make money is I'm inhigher ed and I work as an
administrator, but I've had theopportunity to work in many
different spaces. But I also getto connect not only with
students, but human beingsfirst, because before they show
(04:35):
up as students, their mothers,their fathers, their military
vets, they're also working inthe field. They're taking care
of elderly parents. They'removing, they're trying to climb
that corporate ladder or tryingto transition to a different
field. So they're humans first,so I get to interact with each
(04:56):
and every one of those students.
but I also get to work with mycolleagues since I do work at a
community college because we getstudents and colleagues from all
walks of life. And so what I'mtrying to do in this world, Dr.
PBJ, is I'm trying to be thebest version of myself. I'm
trying to show up well andintentionally be in the moment.
(05:20):
And that's, that's who I am. Mychapters are still being
written. Come on. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Thank you so much,not just for introducing
yourself to these folks. But theway you put a bow on that
introduction, because some wherewe've been taught that we have
to arrive at a thing, beforeyour significant before you're
(05:42):
important before you're goodenough, you have to arrive at a
certain place at a certainthing, get the degree, get the
job, get the title. But thetruth is, all of our stories are
still being written.
All of our steps are ordered,and we are still walking, we are
(06:06):
still walking. Talk to me aboutthe essence of who you are, and
how you bring that to all of thespaces that you show up in. I've
told you and I need to tell youpublicly let you change the
atmosphere of the space when youwalk in.
(06:26):
Like I remember you walking intothe room at that conference. And
it was like a magnet. Like theTheses here she
drew, it is the truth. Like youshowed up in that room, the
energy change, folks heartstarted smiling. It was like a
(06:48):
receiving line. Okay, like, sotalk to me about what you bring,
when you show up what causesfolks to respond in that way by
your very presence?
Well, first of all, I didn'trealize that I do that. I just
(07:09):
show up in a way that I am happyto see people, especially in
this pandemic, when we all havebeen shut in and just doing this
virtual thing. So when I get achance to engage with people in
person, I get excited. And Iknow that it says in Scripture,
be the light, be the light. Andmy name means joy. And so when I
(07:31):
grow up, to be able to engagewith people, I want to bring joy
because that's I have the lightof God inside of me.
Because every day that I'mgranted to be on this side of
the ground is a blessing. And soI get a chance to engage with
people like you with people likemy colleagues, friends from
afar, so I get excited. So Ican't hide my excitement. Um, I
(07:56):
don't have a poker face, Dr.
PBJ. And sometimes that does notserve me because my face speaks
before my mouth moves. Yeah. SoI'm working on that. But I'm
just, I'm just me.
Just me. Some that feedback, though? I
didn't. Oh, no, it's real. It isabsolutely. It's absolutely
(08:18):
real. And as I follow you, and Iwatched your TED talk, and I go
to your website, and you speakspecifically about something you
call unmuting.
So tell us what that means, andthe significance of unmuting.
(08:42):
So let me first pause and say,I'm still working on unmuting.
While I've said a TED talk, Ichampion that I'm still learning
how to do that myself everyday.
Soon unmuting to me, like I said,
in my TED Talk means being ableto show up not only being asked
to be at tables, but being ableto voice the opinions of their
(09:03):
own perspective, but also onaccount of other people that
you're representing. Right? Butit's a two fold. So not only do
you have to be able to unmute,but the cultural climate, the
climate of the institution, orthe company has to be a fertile
place where you feel comfortableenough to unmute. And not every
(09:26):
space lends itself for you tofeel comfortable. I think it's
called psychological safety. Itdoesn't allow you to unmute, but
it's a twofold you have to feelcomfortable being able to speak
up. Share your perspective,because you are a champion of
your own perspective. But youalso have to feel like you're in
(09:47):
a space that will not only hearyou, but follow up on what
you're bringing to the table.
unmuting is outside of thisvirtual space where we have to
hit onyou to kind of speak up, but
being able to voice yourperspective and knowing that it
will be valued.
(10:09):
Yeah, yeah. And when you talkabout it will be valued. And
it's a fertile space. Oh, that'spowerful. Talk to me practically
about what that looks like.
Because I have worked with a lotof leaders who said, Well, this
is a great place to work. Like,I don't understand why somebody
would not feel comfortablespeaking up. What does it look
(10:31):
like when it is a fertile space?
That's a really good question.
So what does it look like whenyou're in a fertile space? One
that people acknowledge whatyou've said, so they don't
necessarily have to repeat whatyou said. But they said, You
know what, let's see. See, Ihear you, and what you said,
(10:53):
let's work on that in this way.
So they're already talking aboutnext steps. When you open up
your mouth, and give asuggestion, or recommendation,
and opinion or perspective, one,so they acknowledge you. And
then even after the meeting, orafter the meeting after the
(11:16):
meeting, because we know thosehappen, yes, they follow up and
say, You know what, you broughtthis up in this setting, I
wanted to let you know feedbackon what has been done as next
steps. So that's what it meansto be in fertile ground of
unmuting. But then having aplace that's fertile, because
(11:36):
just like a plant, Dr. PBJ, ifyou're in fertile soil, not only
will you have growth at theroots, but you'll have growth on
top of the soil. So that's whatit means when you're in fertile
soil from.
That's so good. I need to pausethere for a minute, because one
of the lessons that I teachcompanies and organizations,
(11:57):
don't ask the people if youdon't truly want to hear, and if
you're not going to do anythingabout it, how often do we ask
the question, we have theemployee satisfaction survey, we
have the meeting, we have the100 and 1000 committees, we have
(12:17):
it, but no action. No actionfollows what people have
contributed. And it doesn't meanthat you can do all the things
all the time or evenimmediately. But at least
acknowledge and give me feedbackand help me know what to expect.
(12:38):
Because when you don't tell mewhat to expect, I make up my own
story. That's human nature. WhenI don't know what's next, then I
start making up a story ofwhat's next. And my story is
often worse than reality. Butyou left room for that for that
harmful story. Because you didnot follow up. You did not tell
(12:59):
me you did not give meexpectations, even if even if
the expectation is I need tohear more about this from you.
Or I need to personally learnmore about this so that I can
understand and be in a betterposition to support you,
whatever. Sometimes the feedbackis, I don't know. Yes.
(13:23):
Yes. And yes.
Sometimes the answer is I don'tknow. And we get so prideful and
pompous. When we get when we geta title. We get so prideful and
feeling like we always have tohave the answer. But if you
always have to have an answer,why do you need a team?
(13:43):
Why do you need other people youneed other people because you
don't know it all. And everyonehas something to contribute. So
even if the follow up is thankyou for making me aware. I'm not
proud to say it but I don't knowthis. I was not I was not aware.
(14:05):
And I am going to educate myselfso that you and I can have a
powerful conversation and thinkabout next steps. That is that's
what I'm talking about. So inthe vein of unmuting you shared
a concept with me that I havenever forgotten you share this
(14:27):
concept of needing a hall pass.
Do you remember thisconversation?
Yes. Listen, I have I have saidit, but I gave you credit every
time solet's protect your intellectual
property right now. Okay. Thisthought belongs to lotc Wilson
we are marking it all right. Weare marking it right now. But
(14:52):
you got to you got to sharethis. You got to share this
because this revelation isso powerful. So tell people
about the hall pass.
If I was a little bit lighter, Iwould be red in the face. Um,
but nonetheless, this came uporganically, I believe in our
(15:14):
coaching session because I saymy doctor PBJ, because, yes, she
is my life coach. But also I puta personal pronoun on it, she's
mine.
Live in our conversation.
I grew up in a household whereyou had to put a handle on
(15:34):
things, you couldn't just callpeople by their first names,
right? It was either Yes, ma'am.
Mr. or Mrs. or auntie and uncle,even though you weren't related
by blood, right? Oh, that, Iwant you to understand the
context of where this is comingfrom before I explain the hall
pass mentality.
And then also, I was raised inan environment where you respect
(15:57):
your elders. So elders can meanby age, by title, by just living
life by yours existing on thisworld. And so in that
I was raised to really, respectand respect means you do as
you're told, and if you want todo something that is outside of
(16:21):
the box, or that is not told toyou, you need to ask for
permission. So now I'll talkabout the hall pass mentality
now, hopefully, that this willmake sense. So that has carried
into my adult life, because ofhow I was raised. And it's no
fault of anybody's not my motherand my father, because my mother
and father have been married for42 years and a beautiful
(16:45):
marriage, right. And they raisedme the best that they get that
they can, and they did a darngood job doing those things. So
myself as I touch my pearls, butI will say, in my adult life,
living this life over fourdecades now, because I'll be 40.
This year, I had torelearn what it means to not
(17:08):
always ask for the hall pass. Sofor example, in work, if I have
a training that I'm doing onanother campus, I would reach
out to my supervisor and say,Can I leave at this time? Can I
go and set up? One? If I wantedto do something innovative that
(17:30):
was never done before? I wouldask permission, I have this
idea. Can I do it instead ofdoing it? How we've always done
it? Can I try it in thismethodology?
That's the hall pass mentality.
If I wanted to take agency andsay I want to apply to be a
speaker at this conference, Iwould ask permission before I
(17:53):
even sent in the proposalthat's asking for a hall pass
mentality, or even in a meeting.
While I have been invitedbecause I'm an administrator, I
would be invited to the table.
I would feel a little as we sayin the culture, some kind of
(18:13):
way. I'm not speaking up becauseI didn't want to overshadow or
overstep or overspeed oversomebody else in the room that
may have a title that was twotitles ahead of me, that is
asking for that Hall Passmentality. So what I had to re
think and reframe and relearn isI was brought to these tables
(18:35):
for a reason. Come on, yourvoice matters. I shouldn't have
to ask permission. Yes, there'sa decorum. Yes, there is a way
that you approach that. Yes, itdepends on your voice
intonation, and how you saythings, don't get it wrong, and
don't get it twisted, you stillhave to come professional and
correct. But you have a stakehere, you are worthy. That's why
(18:58):
you were asked to these tables,so refute that Hall Pass
mentality that's from gradeschool, when you at raise your
hand and had to ask for a hallpass. So you can go use the
restroomresonating in your spirit, and
you are a professional?
Yes, you can take the foundationof what was said. But then you
(19:21):
need to elevate yourself byaction and by thought so I had
to change my mindset. Dr. PBJfrom a fixed mindset on this is
how it always has to be done toI need to have the growth
mindset within myself to knowthat these are things that I no
longer have to submit tothis and I know it's been a
(19:43):
while since I came to you inthis way. But I've got something
to share with you all know thatI'm in the process of writing
this book. And as I'm doingthis, there are strategies and
ideas and and thoughts that arecoming to me that I've never had
and I'm soAll, I can't wait to get it to
you and the book is coming thisyear. But I can't wait until
(20:04):
then I'm seeing the evidence inmy life, and in the lives of
folks that I'm coaching one onone, and God has laid it on my
heart to create something. Forfolks who may be interested in
one on one coaching, but youcan't afford it doesn't fit into
your budget. Or maybe you'recurious about coaching, but
you've never had that experiencebefore. This is for folks who
(20:26):
feel like you're marching inplace, like you're putting in
all the effort, but you're notmoving forward, you feel buried,
and you're ready to move intobrilliance, I'm ready to share.
I've got some strategies, I'vegot some things to work through
with you. Listen, friends, thisis not gonna be fancy. There's
no fancy sales page. There's nocourse platform, this is going
(20:49):
to be us meeting once a monththrough zoom, for me to pour out
to you what I have and tosupport you and your journey.
That's it. That's it. This is40, not 40, this is 3030 bucks a
month. And there has to be somekind of investment. Or I've
learned that people don't showup, right. But at that level,
(21:10):
you deserve $30 a month, you canfind $30 A month. So if you have
wanted to work with me, but justcouldn't find it in your budget.
If you've been curious aboutcoaching and just not sure if it
was a good fit for you jump inon the HEartwork Academy 2023. I
have an even if we work togetherbefore a friend, you ain't seen
(21:34):
this yet. You haven't seen thisyet. I am so ready. I'm so
thankful. And I'm ready to sharewith you and I'm ready to
support you. Okay, so listen, ifyou're interested, join with the
link here, fill out the form,join us in the heart work
Academy will kick off in May,we'll meet once a month on Zoom.
(21:54):
And we're going to walk thisthing out together. Nothing
fancy, but let's just get itdone. It's time for you to live
in brilliance. You need to knowwhat it means to show up in
purpose every day. And I'm readyto help you. All right, I can't
wait to hear from you. And I'mexcited to serve you. I'll see
you soon. Bye ahso you said you need the mindset
(22:19):
and the behavior or the action?
You need both right? So we don'trealize like until we come to a
moment where where someone orwhere we can have a mirror held
up so that we can see ourselves,we don't realize the lessons
(22:42):
we've learned and how it directsour behavior or restricts our
behavior on a daily basis.
Right? When you said this to me,it hit me like a ton of bricks
even. So you spokeprofessionally, even outside of
(23:03):
the professional realm. Right?
Like how often do we ask for ahall pass to for our eat for
even our own wellness, our ownself care? Who are you checking
in with for permission to do thethings that you know you need to
do. And again, we're not talkingabout being out here just doing
(23:23):
whatever not caring aboutbecause we are communal beings,
we're in community with otherpeople. And we honor those
relationships and those bonds,and you don't need permission to
be who God called you to be.
You don't need a hall pass toshow up as yourself
(23:47):
on a daily basis. As a matter offact, that's exactly what the
world needs from you.
What the world needs from you isfor you to be everything that
God created you to be there areenough other people they got
that covered you're the only onethat can be you.
You are the single creation Haveyou ever considered that you had
(24:09):
the single creation on the wholewide earth that can be you and
bring what you were uniquely Icall it your innate unique
gifts, your your innate uniquegifts you are the single
creation on the earth that canbring that
the only one and how many yearsdo we spend toiling and
(24:34):
pretending and masking andtrying to be somebody else? We
were created in our own gifting.
So how do we start to take stepsto change that mindset to change
that behavior so that we canunmute so that we can unmask? So
(25:00):
that we can release the hallpass mentality and start to walk
into the fullness of who Godcreated us to be.
So I think there's a couple ofthings that you can do this is
from my experience, as I'm stilllearning. Yes, one is rest is
(25:21):
resistance. That book I read byDr. Tricia, it changed my whole
life. Right? Because this hustleculture is violent. We're always
trying to reach the new thing,do the other thing, do things
for our husbands, our partners,our children, at work in our
(25:43):
civic organization, everybody'spulling, pulling, pulling, and
we feel like our schedule has tobe filled up, or we don't feel
like we're being productive. Andso when we do take rest, we feel
like we have to earn breast.
Absolutely not. That's why itsays in Scripture about the
Sabbath, which means rest. Butwe don't really know what that
means, especially as women,because we're used to doing the
(26:06):
thing for everybody else. And sowhat I had to learn is that rest
is nothing, something thatdoesn't have to be earned, you
are worthy of rest. And restlooks differently to everybody.
If that means when you come homefrom work, you don't feel like
talking, you just want to put onthe TV and start cooking your
(26:27):
dinner. That could be your rest.
If rest means in the middle ofthe day for your our lunch
break. Instead of taking thewhole hour to eat, you're going
to take 15 minutes and walkbecause you have shoes in your
office. And you're unpluggedfrom technology, that's rest, if
rest means that you're going ona family vacation. But on the
(26:49):
back end, you're going to stay acouple of more days. So you can
just have time by yourself,because you're tired of people
in or even having family time.
Because you need time to just bewith yourself. That could be
rest. So I had to change mymindset on earning rest. Because
you have to rest to be at yourbest. And I had to learn that
rest does not always need to bephysical rest. But it can be
(27:12):
mental rest. That can meanturning off my cell phone,
taking off some social mediaapps, but just saying I'm going
to take this time to love on me.
And it's not maintenance. Ithink people get rest mixed up
with maintenance. Maintenance isgetting your hair down your
nails done. Dr. PBJ. You talk tome about that. That's just
(27:34):
maintenance. But rest issomething that you incorporate
every day. And it doesn't haveto look the same way. So that's
the first step. So we ask thequestion again, Dr. PBJ? Because
I just went off on a tangent, Iforgot. No, that was perfect.
That was perfect. Because thequestion is, how do we start
taking the steps towardsunmuting and releasing that
(27:55):
whole path? So let me just sithere for a minute. We got to sit
here for a minute, because weautomatically think there's a
doing when when I think how do iI'm waiting on you to give me an
action step I'm waiting on youto tell me the grind the do the
step the action. And youliterally said sit down
(28:18):
somewhere.
Have a seat. Have a seat that wehave to talk about the power of
true rest.
And and I know that we'rehearing it more after or
wherever we are concerned thepandemic right now. We're
hearing it more but we are notbelieving this yet. We still
(28:41):
have people who are burnt outwho are overwhelmed who are just
surviving. We are not listeningyet. In Western culture
specifically, because I canspeak to this. We have learned
that success means overdoingoverworking continual toil. And
(29:03):
the truth of the matter is wemiss the mark, because our
brains are not even created tohandle the level of pressure
that we allow. Absolutely not.
So our wisdom is stifled. Ourcreativity is stifled. There are
ideas in you that cannot evencome forward because you won't
(29:25):
rest.
There are innovative thoughtsand you there are answers in you
that your family needs that youneed that this world needs. But
it can't even come throughbecause you are so overwhelmed
and you will not stop to hearyour own thoughts. There was a
(29:49):
day where we would have quiet atsome time. Let's see. See. I
don't know if you remember this.
You're just a tad bit youngerthan me.
But do you remember when TVsused to go off like Star
Spangled Banner, you're notgetting nothing else to the next
morning, like, TVs are done,like the channel went off,
(30:11):
everything was done, right? Likeyou, you didn't get anything
else in the next day. And now wegot 24 hours of hundreds,
hundreds of channels andopportunities to continue
feeding our brain feeding ourbrain. And not just that, but
you have it at your fingertips,now you have it. So you don't
(30:32):
even have to be in a space wherethere's a television or a
computer, you carry it in yourpocket or in your purse or in
your bag. And you have accessnot only to the devastation in
your local area, but you haveaccess to know about the
devastation from all over theworld. There was a day that it
(30:53):
will take weeks for us to findout something that is happening
on the other side of the world.
And now in seconds, you arebombarded with the travesties of
this world, not just your town,not just your state, your
region, your country, but thewhole world. And our brains were
not created to manage and holdand process this level or amount
(31:17):
of information. And until wetake the intentional, the
intentional and like you saidit's it is revolutionary. It is
it is resistance to take theintentional action to step away
from the grind from the busyfrom the running from the
(31:42):
pursuing from the ladder to sayI'm I'm going to rest
I'm going to and rest is notsitting on the couch and doom
scrolling on your phone. That'snot rest, though. No, ma'am. No,
ma'am. No. It's not rest, youdidn't give your brain a break.
(32:02):
No stop. You may be sitting butyou didn't stop, right.
You may be sleeping, but you'renot resting Hmm. You're not
resting because even in yoursleep, you are toiling mentally,
over all the things that are onyour plate, there is no surprise
(32:23):
that our mental health crisis isat the level that we're
experiencing right now. Becauseour minds, our very souls are
crying outand calling out to us that they
are overwhelmed.
And they've had enough.
So I just have to honor that youdidn't give us another step to
(32:48):
do. You didn't give us anotheraction to take. You gave us
permission to stop, clean,clean.
We have to stop.
Greatness will only flow whenyou're clear.
(33:09):
And you can be clear when you'reoverwhelmed. You sure can't.
You can't be you can't be. Soback to the original question.
That's okay. That is okay. Backto the originally scheduled
program.
(33:30):
So in case you because that waspowerful enough, but in case you
had something else to add, isthere anything else that you
offer for us to move forward inunmuting and releasing the hall
pass,releasing the hall pass and
unmuting one it takes the restso you can be your best to it
(33:50):
takes courage. And I want to Iwant to say that because
depending on how you grew up,depending on your culture, it
may not feel comfortable, it maynot feel natural, your natural
inclination to want to unmuteright. Because of culturally
you're taught, you're younger,you have less experience. You're
(34:15):
the youngest person in the room,you better be quiet, you can be
seen but not heard. And so thatfilters to your adulthood as
well because of the respect ofthe elders, and so on and so
forth. But that means it doesn'tmean that you dishonor how you
were raised. But it does meanthat it takes courage enough to
(34:37):
say, Well, I have something toadd to that. And to say it in a
respectful manner, courage to beable to unmute and not ask for
the whole path. So the resting,the courage, it also takes
a community. You talked aboutthat on your last podcast
(35:00):
Ask that I listened to Dr. PBJ.
And I'm not talking about, likeyou said, a community of
convenience, like you talkedabout convenient because they're
geographically close,convenient, because they're in
your same area of occupation,right? You have all these higher
ed people, if you're in highered, you have all these people
that are in the DEI space, youhave all these speakers that are
(35:21):
a part of your space, butsurrounding yourself
intentionally, with a communityof people that are not always
your cheerleaders that are thereto see you be your best self.
They're not always in your sameoccupation. My best friend, I'm
gonna call out her name, ChanelWheeler. She's a graphic
(35:42):
designer, we've been bestfriends for almost 20 years.
She's known me since sophomoreyear of college, and I've known
her, we have nosimilarities in our occupations,
I have no idea about everythingthat entails in graphic design.
She doesn't know a lot abouthigher ed. But you know, what we
do have, we have other's back,just like we say in the
(36:03):
sorority, we lean on the shield.
Yeah, it's not Greek, but she ismy best friend. And so having
her as my community members, shedoesn't live in the same space.
She lives in ATL, and I'm herein TX, Texas. Also somebody from
different generational point ofview. Because while somebody
(36:24):
your age, or maybe somebodythat's close to your age, may
have value, somebody that's moreseasoned, that may have 15 or 20
years on, you can say you knowwhat you should do this, because
I wonder what would havehappened if I would have took
those steps when I was sharing.
So they impart pearls of wisdomon you. But also by gender, you
(36:44):
need to surround yourself withdifferent people, even outside
of who you are, by your gender.
So I have males that I revere,like my pastor of my church, the
way that he leads the way thathe always gives gratitude. So
having those community membersallows me to have the courage
(37:08):
allows me to give myselfpermission to rest. But it
surrounds me with people thatinsulate what true leadership
should be, and what it can looklike, because they're coming
from all these differentperspectives. Because I'm not
siloed in this isolated space ofpeople that just look like me
talk like me worship like me,but I've surrounded myself,
(37:31):
don't get me wrong, I'msurrounding myself with people
that are amazing. And differentparts of their life. have
community members that I revere,because of the way that they
take care of their body, theirtemple. So they're really good
at working out and beingdiligent about what they feed
their body, either mentally or,or by eating. I may have people
(37:52):
that I revere, because they'redutiful, wise, they're great
partners, I may have otherpeople part of my community that
are good at financial savviness,right? Because I can always be
more financial literate, becauseit's not about how much you
make. But what you do with themoney you do AV, right. And then
I surround myself with peoplethat are in the speakers in the
(38:13):
speaker lane, right, because I'ma speaker and consultant. So
what does it look like to do thescaling? And so being able to
unmute means that I have acommunity of members because
we're not built to be isolated.
We're notcapitalism says that you should
be able to do this by yourselfand do it until you work hard,
and then you're dead and buriedunder? Absolutely not. Because
(38:37):
when we leave this earth, it'sabout the legacy. It's about
that dash Dr. PBJ. It's the dashof when you were born and when
you're dead. But what happenedin the dash, that's what allows
you to unmute, that allows youto not ask for the hall pass
because you have a community ofpeople that are wrapping their
(38:57):
arms around you and sharingtheir experiences, giving you
feedback sometimes wanted,sometimes unwanted.
Also just there to say, Hey,you're not in this alone.
I love it. I love it. Oh, I loveit. I can't say that better. I
(39:20):
just want to add one thing whenyou talk about courage. Because
I want to feel courage, as youwere saying that something
popped in my heart to remindfolks that everybody wasn't
raised like you, meaning you maybe working with folks who were
raised with the privilege to saywhat they wanted to say when
(39:40):
they needed to say it to expressthemselves without boundaries.
So that means they're probablymore free to to express
themselves now, because they hada privilege growing up to do
that. So while you arerestricting yourself
Yeah, and your mind is tellingyou, you are not allowed. And
(40:04):
this is not acceptable. You'reat the table with people who
don't have that mindset.
So if they have the privilege,even now from childhood to now,
if they have the privilege tounmute and speak freely, why
not?
Why not you? And here's somefuel for your courage, why not
(40:27):
you? Period?
Why not you? Why not you? Whycan't you be free? Why can't you
rest? Why can't you take avacation without answering
emails and answering everybody'scalls? Why can't you have a
weekend, where you are away fromwork and not having to worry
(40:50):
about anybody else but yourself?
Why can't you go away from yourhome? Do something according to
your financial level? Becausethere are many options. Do
something according to yourfinancial level that physically
gets you away, so that you canbreak away and truly rest? Why
not you? Why can't you walk inpurpose and be fully who God
(41:11):
created you to be? Why not you?
God is not a respecter ofpersons.
So if he did it for one, why notyou? Why not you? Let's see, see
it. Listen, we gotta let thesegood folks go. But you know, I
can talk to you all day long.
Before we go. For those who wantto hear more from you connect
(41:36):
with you, maybe work with you,how can they connect with you?
I have to thank you for being inthis space. My coach, Dr. PBJ,
thank you for having me, you canconnect with me. I'm
intentionally only on twoplatforms, folks. Because that's
(41:59):
the way that I rest is not beinginundated with a lot of
different social media. So I'mintentionally connected, you can
connect with me on LinkedIn, youcan also connect with me on
YouTube, you can also connectwith me if you would like for me
to speak at your event, becauseI believe in empowering you to
be your best self, allowing youto let your light shine. So you
(42:22):
connect with me at low TCOwilson.com, which is my name.
And then you can connect with meon LinkedIn because I'm pretty
active on LinkedIn. And I wouldlove to engage with you I do
reply to direct messages, orDMS, as they call it. But I
would love to work with you. Iwould love to talk to you about
(42:42):
your journey. And like I said,I'm still learning but what I've
learned, I want to share.
Absolutely, absolutely. All ofLeticia's information will be in
the show notes. So you can justclick and connect with her right
away. You need to do that. Youneed to do that if you are ready
(43:03):
for your light to shine. If youare ready to be unapologetic
about who you are, who Godcreated you to be. If you know
you've been you've been muted.
If you know you've been livingby the Hall Pass mentality. You
need to reach out to the LeticiaWilson.
I know I know you let this lightshine on you friend you ain't
(43:26):
got no choice but toknow that. So let's see. See,
I'm grateful. Thank you forsharing the space with me. Thank
you for allowing me to journeywith you.
It's always an honor and I'malways so davon brown.
So thank you my sister. Thankyou. As always friends, do you
(43:47):
know that you are powerful? Youare significant. And you are
loved. Love always PPT
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