July 5, 2023 • 47 mins
Have you ever pondered the unique struggles and triumphs of teen moms? What if there was a way to support and empower them to not just survive, but thrive and create a lasting legacy for their families? Well, this is exactly what Roberta Axson, a second-generation teen mom turned nurse educator and founder of Teen Moms 2 Beyond, is doing. She's built a supportive community and developed tailored resources, and we're delighted to have her share her inspiring journey with us.
Remember how it felt to face the first formidable challenge of your teen years, seemingly alone in the world? Roberta Axson faced just that, becoming a teen mom at 16 years old. Instead of succumbing to societal expectations and pressures, she decided to confront her reality head-on and used her experience to craft a successful career in education and leadership. She provides a candid insight into the unique perspective of teen moms, underscoring how crucial it is for the larger community to understand and meet their needs. Roberta's personal journey fuels her passion for helping teen moms, and she's here to share how her work is revolutionizing not only the Teen Moms 2 Beyond community but also the entire community involved in family restructuring.
But Roberta doesn't stop there; she's also a beacon of light in the education field. With no-nonsense advice on the significance of authenticity and self-care for educators, she encourages teachers to embrace their individuality, and disregard the temptation to mimic others. Roberta wraps up with some profound reflections on the societal expectations placed on women, and the emotional reactions they often provoke. You'll walk away feeling not only inspired by Roberta Axson but also equipped with some valuable nuggets of wisdom. Tune in for this enlightening conversation!
Download an audio sample of Dr. PBJ's brand new book: https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/book
Connect With Roberta:
Instagram: @ra_axson
Website: https://teenmoms2beyond.net/
Beyond the Birthing Event: https://teenmoms2beyond.net/teen-mom-2-beyond-event/
Connect with Dr. PBJ
● To connect with Dr. PBJ, go topatricebucknerjackson.com
● Follow Dr. PBJ on IG@drpatricebucknerjackson for#aspoonfulofpbj.
● Need a dynamic transformational speaker? Dr. PBJ is ready to serve. Check outDr. PBJ Speaks | https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/speaking
● Support The Show |https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lovepbj?locale.x=en_US
Upgrade to Premium Membership to access the Disrupting Burnout audiobook and other bonus content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1213895/supporters/new
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey, hey, hey, friends, I am Dr Patrice Butler
Jackson, but you can call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout.
Friends, listen, july is backto school with PBJ And this
month we are dedicated to oureducators.
Whether you are a teacher inthe classroom or an
(00:30):
administrator, a principal, anAP, if you work at colleges or
universities, if you are atrainer at your job, if you are
an educator, this month isdedicated to you.
I don't know if you've listenedto my story, but this work
started so that I could serve mypeople.
I could serve educators andgive you what.
(00:52):
I know that we need to keepserving and doing the deep work
that we do.
So, friends, listen, i knowthat we're still in summer and
we are, And for some of you,that means you have some off
time.
For some of you, that meansyou're still working.
I know we're still in summer,but I think it's very important
that we think about a few thingsabout August before we get
(01:14):
there.
Sometimes August comes in likea Mack truck and it's almost
like you weren't ready for it.
You will be ready for it thisyear.
I want to make sure that wegive you what you need so that
you are preparing your heart,your mind, your body, your
family, your home.
You're preparing all the thingsso that you can have the best
school opening you have ever had.
(01:36):
And I could not have a betterguest to kick off this back to
schools series than the woman Iam about to introduce you to.
I met Roberta Akson in acoaching program that we both
joined And from the first day,from the first day of this
(01:59):
coaching program, you can't bein a space with Roberta and not
be impacted by the love of GodLike you can't.
You can't be around her, youcan't be close to her without
feeling the impact of love.
That is who she is, and thiswoman is an educator, she's a
mentor, she's a transformationalleader, she's a speaker, she's
(02:21):
the founder of Teen Moms 2Beyond.
She will tell you more aboutthat.
There's so much that she bringsto the table, but I want you to
know that the love that youexperienced through engaging
with Roberta Akson.
We met online, we connectedonline, but this woman got in
her car and drove to Augusta,georgia, to give me a hug.
(02:45):
This is, this is who she is.
So listen, without further ado,without further ado, i need to
introduce you all to my friend,my sister, fellow educator,
roberta Akson.
Roberta, thank you and welcometo Disrupting Burnout sister.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I feel welcomed.
Thank you so much, dr PBJ.
You said a lot You said, and Ifelt that.
I felt that, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You are a lot and I love it.
I love it all.
I love it all.
So, roberta, let's get started,because I know by now they're
wondering who is this woman.
So tell the people who you are.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, yes, ma'am, my name is Roberta Akson and I get
to serve in a capacity as amentor, as an educator, as an
empowerment leader Yes, anempowerment leader and the
founder of Teen Moms 2 BeyondAnd basically the Teen Moms the
(03:51):
number two beyond is because Iam a second generation of being
a Teen Mom.
My mother had me at the age of16 and I had a child at the age
of 15, but it stopped there.
It stopped there.
So the community where I amserving as the founder and Teen
Moms 2 Beyond is basically toprovide resources and support so
(04:16):
that we can maintain andsustain families, restructure,
rebuild, whatever we need to doto be that resource and support
one family at a time so thatthey can build and sustain their
legacies to be better, to bebeyond where they are, to get
what they need.
So I am honored that God wouldgive me such a vision in this
(04:39):
earth for such a time as this.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Listen, i felt that all over my body.
I felt that all over my bodywhat you are bringing to the
Teen Moms 2 Beyond community,but also think about every
community that those womenimpact, every community that
those women impact and therestructuring of the family.
As an educator, i know you haveseen the outcomes and the
(05:06):
consequences in your students ofhaving a Teen Mom or even being
a Teen Mom, but I know youdidn't just pull this out the
air.
So tell us your story, becauseyou are a nurse, you are an
educator moving into leadership.
But it didn't start there.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You know, dr PBJ, when I think about that
conversation in that doctor'soffice close to 40 years ago now
, because my son will actuallybe 37 in August, he will
actually be 37 and going to thedoctor and not receiving
pre-natal care for over half ofthe pregnancy, because I just
(05:49):
did not know.
I did not know that I had lifegrowing inside of me.
But who would have thought thatGod would use that life to
propel me into such areas towhere I truly can make a
difference?
I truly was able to dosomething different.
And so when we talk about theclassroom, we talk about the
(06:13):
doctor's office.
You know, from being a nurse,from that nurse visiting me that
night saying you still have achance.
This child is going to bedependent on you.
What will you do with your life?
And then the door is opening towhere I can begin a career as
an LPN and then on to becoming aregistered nurse and on to
becoming a healthcare scienceeducator, so where I'm now
(06:36):
educating those students to gointo the field of healthcare.
But it started in that doctor'soffice with that conversation
from my doctor saying It'ssomething that you did a long
time ago because I didn't evenknow.
Again, i didn't even know I waspregnant And so removing myself
from that month of gettingpregnant, having consensual sex,
(07:00):
saying yes to something that Ididn't even realize, what I was
saying yes to, and fast forwardto, sitting there numb and
shamed and disappointed,depressed I mean.
It was just so many emotionsattacking me at once.
And my mother, just to think ofher thinking about.
(07:21):
She had recently lost her mom,five years prior to her getting
pregnant at the age of 16,losing a mother at the age of 11
, and five years later you'repregnant with your first child,
and now that child is having achild.
So what can we do differently?
hearing the voice, but thenit's like the muffled sound of
(07:44):
your pregnant, like what doesthat really even mean?
I didn't know what am I goingto do with this?
Can I give it back?
like all of that coming forthwith a force that I could not
control, i could not redirect itin any area.
This is in me.
(08:05):
You mean to tell me somethingthat I did is now in me still
the ignorance of sometimesmaking those decisions and you
don't know what you did.
So I get it to when I thinkabout the restructuring of the
family, and God really has asense of humor, because I never
(08:26):
wanted to teach.
I never, ever wanted to teach,but this is something that he
gave me as an assignment tobuild me.
I feel for this capacitybecause it's about the family.
And when you have those childrenthat come into your classroom,
into your offices, into yourbuilding faces, and they're not
(08:46):
equipped because they have ateen mom or a single mom or just
parents, that's trying tofigure it out, you know, because
sometimes it is, they have amother and a father at home, but
then they're still that gap,and so the restructuring, the
assignment, the call, the burden, the weight of it, it is so big
(09:10):
.
That's why the beyond is thefocal point.
It's not that we're going tofocus on a teen mom always,
because the heart that I have is, when there's a young girl
that's pregnant, we hover overthat young girl, we make sure
the baby has pamphlets, we makesure the baby has formula, but
(09:33):
then, as that child is growingup, that child becomes one and
two and three and four, and thatteen mom is continuing to grow.
Where's the support?
I had to figure it out.
I was in high school with athree year old.
Come on, i had a three year old, but nobody thought about that,
(09:54):
maybe that I still needed help,i still needed guidance, i
needed support And I had peoplesaying well, you just need to
just get a job and just you know, you don't need to go to school
because, of course, theenvironment that you're in, your
classmates are getting acceptedto colleges.
You know that's really not yourpath.
(10:14):
At that time I say that itcouldn't be.
But at that time, so what do Ido?
I didn't know.
But sometimes, as a youngmother, we don't know the
questions to ask.
Yeah, and so for me to be ableto go back and reach for the
ones that are assigned to me,because I know I'm not here to
save the world, that is not myassignment.
(10:36):
But, oh, do I remember how Iwish I could have, would have?
I had support, but there werethings that people could not
understand, they could notrelate unless unless it was
their story.
Yeah, so that is how team momsto beyond came about.
(10:57):
It was birth throughunderstanding that I can move
beyond my choice, beyondstatistics, beyond your judgment
of me.
Hmm, yes, it's a beyond thing.
You may not understand it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh, roberta.
So first of all, this is whyI'm a member of your community
And I'm so grateful that you are.
This is why.
So I was not a team mom, but mymama was.
My mama was 16 years old 16,she was a baby.
(11:37):
You were a baby 16 years oldAnd at 16, she started making
decisions, not just for her lifebut for mine.
And then my brother, who camealong later, and my sister, who
came along later.
My mother had a baby at 16years old, went to work
(11:57):
immediately.
She was an athlete.
She had to give up.
My mom was a championshipbasketball player.
She was an athlete.
She let that go when I camealong, but she never stopped
winning.
Let me tell you something Mymama went to work at our local
hospital when those hours didn'talign with what she needed to
(12:19):
take care of her baby.
She went to a hair school, shegot her license, she opened her
own salon and she has had hersalon 30 years.
How many small business ownerscan say they've been open and
thriving for 30 years?
So that's why I will alwayslive to bring her honor, always.
(12:39):
I will always live to bring herhonor because, even as such a
young age, she started makingdecisions for my now.
I would not be where I am todayif it wasn't for 16 year old
Patricia Jones.
So I just wanted to pause andhonor my mama, but also honor
(13:03):
you, because not only did youmake decisions to support your
son and then the son that camelater, but also look at what God
has created.
Look at what he's doing.
From your story, roberta, talkto us about how in the world did
you go from teen mom to I'mgoing to nursing school?
(13:24):
Like what does that look like?
How did you do that with babies?
Like how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
It's like what you just mentioned.
There were no delays indecision making.
You have to do something now.
You have to do something forthat moment because I'm not sure
about you.
But I felt the guilt, even frommy mom, of not being able to do
things, and I love my mom andI'm so grateful that she made
(13:53):
the choice to have me.
Number one I'm here, but at thesame time, the things that have
to be pushed back and delayedbecause of the decision of now.
There was a now decision.
And so when I realized I was ina health occupations course in
high school and it was justsomething where I just enjoyed
(14:15):
serving, i enjoyed seeing peopledo better, get better.
So the nursing aspect, beingable to be at that bedside with
that physician, with the teen,and seeing where we actually
start with the dischargeplanning on the very first day,
it is that you know we work frombackwards to forward And I just
(14:36):
I love everything about it.
It was just the fulfillment Ifelt at that time to where I
needed to pause.
I needed to give myself time tocomplete this so that I would
have more, because the $3.85 anhour was not enough for 1990.
(14:56):
For a woman with a child,minimum wage was not gonna keep
me stuck and stagnant.
I just couldn't allow that.
So it was no delaying in thatdecision.
I needed to do something atthat moment, and so nursing was
it.
And I would start with thefoundation, with you know which
the licensed practical nurse wasfor me a foundation.
(15:19):
Now, you don't have to alwaysstart there, but I knew that if
I worked as an LPN, i could goback to school for my RN while
working as an LPN, and it willgive me the experience.
It will give me more than a$3.85 an hour.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Opportunities, and so that's how the door just opened
for me to do that.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I love and I appreciate the nurse and the
doctor who told you your life isnot over And that you can make
decisions now, and I soappreciate that you are sharing
that message forward, because Ihave encountered so many folks
who feel condemned, who feelthrown away, who feel like their
life is over, like they cannotmove forward.
(16:06):
They don't know what theiroptions are.
They don't know how in theworld they're gonna do it.
So I'm so grateful for theministry that you have now to
encourage teen moms, whetherthey have the newborn right now,
or if their kid is grown nowand they still feel stuck.
As that teen mom, i appreciatethat you are helping them move
(16:31):
beyond.
So talk practically.
Maybe there's a teen mom who'slistening to us right now, or
maybe she's in her early 20s andit's just her.
Maybe she's a single mom andshe's got this little one.
What are some practical thingsthat you did or you had to do in
order to accomplish this goalof getting this education but
(16:53):
also taking care of this baby?
Hey friend, listen, i haveexciting news for you.
So if you've been following,you know I've been writing this
book and I am so excited aboutgetting it into your hands.
And guess what?
Today I'm offering you thefirst sample of my new book.
(17:14):
This is my new book DisruptingBurnout.
Friends, listen, we have morework to do.
Okay, it's still going toprofessional editing, we still
need to design the book, but Ican't wait to all that's done
for you to start digging in.
So there's a sample copy that Iread myself for you that's
available to you today.
(17:34):
All you have to do is go towwwpatricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash
book againpatricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash
book.
Grab your sample, listen to thesample chapter and listen.
Let me know what you think.
I cannot wait for you to hearthis book, friend, go grab it
(17:58):
today.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well, it actually is the root of my pillars.
I have five pillars in thecommunity that I serve to be on,
and that is, first and foremost, self-care.
I did not know how to self-care, care for self, i did not.
And so the foundation of beingable to take that sea law, that
(18:25):
pause, to where I need to justtake a breath, i need to just be
in the moment, because we'realways rushing And as a team mom
former team mom you're alwaysfeeling like you're behind.
You had a child, now you gottaplay catch up.
You have to catch up, but it'sa lifestyle And I think
sometimes we think that, oh,this is where I am and I've
(18:50):
arrived.
But no, no, this is where I am,but where am I going?
I have to move beyond this part, the next phase and seeing it
in cycles and phases.
So, self-care, number one I hadto learn, and I am still
learning, how to care for selfin different phases of my life.
So I would definitely speak tothat team mom, that former team
(19:11):
mom you have to take time foryou, you have to take that time
for you, whatever that lookslike.
And sometimes we say, oh, ican't afford to go on a vacation
.
Well, you can afford to go tothe park, you can afford to do
whatever it is where your budgetis speaking.
So, number two, the timemanagement making time for you,
making time for the things thatare priorities for you, to you.
(19:32):
So as you invest now, you willbenefit later, and that's the
number one.
Resource is time.
So self-care, time management.
And then there's moneymanagement.
You cannot manage money untilyou're able, till we are able to
manage the time that we've beengiven.
We all have 24 hours, sevendays a week.
(19:53):
The year passes.
Each and every day, each andevery second, each and every
minute is gonna accumulate andaccrue the same time value.
But what are we doing todevelop our sales with the time
and manage our sales with thetime and the money, the
resources that we've beeninterested with?
(20:14):
Like I stated earlier, $3.85 wasnot a lot, but I made it
stretch, i made it work, i knewI wanted more, i knew I needed
more, but what was I willing?
What time was I willing toinvest in the more then that I
needed?
And so the self-care, timemanagement, money management.
And then the last two pillarsthat I have in the group are
(20:37):
personal development andprofessional development, and,
in my opinion, you cannotdevelop as a professional person
until you dig deep and know whoyou are, your identity, and
sometimes, as children are bornto a young mother, that identity
is a tag.
There's an identity crisis evenfor the teen mom.
(20:58):
Who am I, what purpose am Ihere for?
And so being able to developpersonally, spiritually,
mentally, emotionally,spiritually all of the things
physically that will help us todevelop into the professional
person that we need to be, thatcapstone of my purpose in the
professional development, andthen that's what we're able to
(21:21):
go out and serve as a wholeperson to the ones that are
still trying to find their way.
And being that guide, beingthat facilitator, because we
understand self-care, because weunderstand time and money
management, because weunderstand personal and
professional development.
It's key, it's critical.
(21:41):
And so the former teen mom orthe teen mom now, that's part in
any of those pillars.
They're able to connect,they're able to find their way,
their path and build from there.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
The fact that you didn't start with the
professional development is soimportant, because often we
start with the what am I gonnado?
What am I gonna do?
Who am I gonna be?
What am I gonna do?
But you started with self-careand it's often the last thing
that a mom is thinking about ateen mom, or any mom The
self-care is the last thing thatshe's thinking about.
(22:17):
But we know the truth is, if wedon't start there, then we
can't sustain what we're doingfor anybody else.
Exactly, it is so critical tostart there And then to go with
the time management.
You can't manage your moneyunless you manage your time.
Roberta, you are preachingtoday because people are
(22:38):
figuring out ways to make moremoney every day, but let me know
who can make more time.
Please tell me how you can makemore time.
We all get the same amount oftime just by waking up and
breathing as long as we're alive.
We're getting the same amountof time every day, but it's
limited.
It's limited And we have to bea good steward over our limited
(23:02):
resource.
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
So okay, because we got to talkto these educators, because
those five pillars that you justmentioned are important for
educators, whether they are teenmoms or not.
So talk to me about.
Let's go back to your story.
How did you move from nursingto teaching and teaching the
(23:26):
course that had such an impacton you in high school?
Now listen, tell us about it?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Nobody but God.
Like I mentioned, i would neverand I even said that to someone
that spoke that I would beteaching.
I said, oh, i would never dothat.
They don't make enough money.
That is what I had the nerve tosay And God said, okay, i'll
show you.
And really he showed me.
(23:54):
But when I tell you the mostrewarding and I thought, nursing
was my everything.
I was so grateful to be chosento completion of a program that
could make a difference not justfor my life, my child's life,
but for others.
But when I tell you, being aneducator, my heart just, it just
(24:17):
throbs for being that voice,being present with my presence,
the gifts that he trusts me withthose students, they mean
everything to me.
They mean everything.
And so when I get theopportunity to serve them in the
(24:39):
capacity that he entrusts me toserve them, it's major.
It's major And I try to run, itry to hide, but that's where
the leadership is rising up inme now.
But, being an educator for thepast 18 years, i can't think of
anything else.
That it's that, god, really.
(25:02):
And the fact that the way heeven got me to this point I had
he even brought witnesses, drPBJ to where, when he spoke it
to me, he brought she's mymentor now, but he brought
another educator and theprincipal that hired me to make
sure I knew.
Yes, i said you're gettingready to teach my children And
(25:25):
so it's so much bigger than aclassroom.
That's the thing, and I'm sograteful that I get to serve
them the way he allows me toserve them, not the standards
for the Department of Educationof Georgia, but the way God
desired that I serve them andteach them and groom them for
(25:45):
more.
They're beyond as well.
They're beyond the classroom,they're beyond high school and
middle school.
I've never taught elementary,but I taught middle and high
school.
They're beyond and that theycan make a difference.
So just to be, i'm just honoredAnd just to be chosen from my
(26:06):
background of being a formerteen mom to now being able to
teach and lead in such a way,that is really it's mind blowing
to me sometimes, because Ican't even believe that the
things that he shows me, thatare coming And I'm like, okay, i
have to trust you because Itrust you back then, how you
(26:28):
equip me, because Dr PBJ, when Ifirst started teaching in, this
goes to show you God does not.
He doesn't call the qualified,he qualifies the call.
I had an associate degree I onlyhad an associate's degree in
nursing And I had a colleague ofmine to say that an associate
(26:49):
degree is not a degree And I wasoffended by that because I'm
just like I worked very hard forthat nursing degree and passing
the state board for my nursinglicense And the fact that
sometimes people just don't seean associate's or licensed, a
practical nursing program asequal or adequate enough.
(27:11):
But this is why we have to be inthese classroom, in these
buildings, office and space totell the students it doesn't
matter where you start, juststart.
Yeah, you start with one stepAnd so, being in place, i truly
have to cooperate and co-laborwith God, because I look at
sometimes the ones that are leftbehind because they're not the
(27:35):
gifted or the chosen.
I know how that feels.
And for him to choose me forsuch a time as this to educate,
to not just teach and touch witha heart for them, but to also
love them and lead them to wherethey need to be.
So I'm just honored to wearthis door open for me to pursue
(27:58):
this career, because when Ithink back from nursing to
education to whatever else is onhis agenda.
I just wanna align myself andagree with whatever else he has
for me.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
That's the amen.
It is so.
We say amen because we agree,and that's the key.
just agree, obesity is thesuccess.
Whatever the outcome is, it'sup to him, but the obedience is
the success.
But at this point, roberta, youhave had students 18 years of
(28:35):
students that you have impactedtheir lives, and I know they
come back and see you and theycheck in with you because I know
what kind of impact you have.
I know how you show up in aroom, so I can only imagine
being your student and havingyou pour into me, but I also
know that when you are theperson that pours, it cost you
(28:56):
something.
So talk a little bit to yourfellow educators.
So to the teachers, theadministrators, folks who are
listening to this episode.
What would you encourage themto do to prepare themselves to
start a new academic year?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It goes back to the pillar self-care.
What does that look like?
You may need to define it,because sometimes the academia
in us we want to analyze, but weneed to normalize and not
analyze so much.
as an educator.
We have to take time for self.
(29:40):
We have to take time to takethose deep breaths to where our
lungs can really feel thecapacity of oxygen.
We need the oxygen, we needthat breath.
We need life in us because wegive so much to other lives.
So we need that return.
So being able to sit, justhaving time to think.
(30:03):
Bring a journal I travel with ajournal.
I have a journal in my prayerroom that doesn't leave.
I mean a journal in my car thatstays in the car, a journal
always on me, like with mybackpack or purse.
You sometimes you just need tosit with the thought.
We have to take time to sitwith a thought, not the thoughts
, but a thought.
(30:24):
What is a thought for today?
And it could be refresh a wordfor today.
It could be steal, stealyourself.
Whatever it is.
We have to normalize, notanalyze so much the word self
care and what it looks like, andnot that it has to look the
(30:46):
same, because what my self careregiment may look like at the
beginning of the school year.
It may not look the same afterone month or two months or three
months.
Go back, just like we go to thedoctor and we need to check up,
whether it be annual or howeverquarterly we go back.
So why not go back for thatself care check up or check in,
(31:10):
maybe?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
That's so good.
That is so good Oh my gosh,that's so good.
So the self care and to thinkabout it now, like don't wait
until you get into the throes ofAugust.
Your students are in yourclassroom, the demands are
happening and you are trying tofigure out how to chase your
(31:33):
tail.
You're trying to figure out howto.
no, you can make a plan, likebe intentional.
I love the way you have plantedjournals in every space of your
life so that you can have thinktime.
I think one of the biggestlosses that we had since the
pandemic is, i think time,because we're going from one
screen to another screen, toanother screen, to in person,
(31:56):
now to another screen that wedon't ever stop.
And just a little.
yes, it's overwhelming.
Our brain was not created toprocess information, not this
amount of information, and ithas nothing to do with your
intelligence.
It's because you're human.
We were not created to processin this way And we're not even
(32:17):
allowing the process to happen.
So, just setting yourself upfor success to make sure you
incorporate some think time.
What are some things, roberta?
and we're gonna bring it to aclose, but what are some things
like throughout your days withyour students?
So you were in the classroomand I know you got professional
(32:40):
learning and conferences andthis and that and all those
things.
What are some things that youdo throughout your days to kind
of get that say lie as you say,that moment of rest.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Well, i enjoy music therapy as well.
I do soaking where there's justinstrumental music, to where
I'm not trying to sing a song,no words, and it could be some
Beethoven, mozart, it could bejust listening to the water or
the rain, the elements.
(33:12):
It could be just me steppingout into the hallway because
this is the first time I havenot had a window in my classroom
and it's been so hard for meBecause I like seeing the light,
i draw light because I am light, and I have to step out
(33:34):
sometimes into the hallway andthey're right there.
I'm not going runningdownstairs or something without
them, but just being able tostep away.
We don't know how to do that.
Sometimes you need to take alunch in your car, if you can or
take a lunch somewhere else ina hallway at a table.
I even sit with the studentssometimes at lunch because it
(33:55):
changes up, just doing somethingdifferent.
It's doing the different,something that people wouldn't
expect you in.
I do.
I dance with them.
I mean I just change it.
It just depends on whatever Ifeel.
They teach me things, i teachthem things.
Just I think again, it's theroutine of people just wanting
(34:18):
that analytical, the plan, thechecklist, and it drives you
insane sometimes because you'reoverwhelmed by all the things on
the paper but you're not intune to the person.
You got all the things on thepaper, but what about the person
?
The person is nowhere on thatpaper.
(34:39):
And so just being able toredirect your spirit flow to
something different, smiling,even smiling, a laughter to
where, hey, does anyone have ajoke today?
they want to share.
They don't know what to expect,dr PBJ, when they come to my
class room, i mean I'm thatteacher that.
(35:00):
And like I tell them, you'renot going to find a nurse and a
teacher in this building.
You have two for one.
So I'm the only nurse andteacher.
So don't expect me to be likeanyone else, even as a leader,
when I walk into my next role asan administrator.
They're not gonna have aprincipal, an assistant
(35:21):
principal.
There's also a registered nurse, because I will always keep my
nursing license.
So it's just knowing who youare and what it feeds your
spirit, your soul, your person.
And when we take the time tothink about who we are, why we
hear, what things do wecontribute into the areas and
(35:43):
arenas that we've been calledand assigned to, then it'll flow
easier.
I think that we're sometimessuffocated and constipated with
stuff to where we can't breathe.
It hurts us to take a deepbreath because we haven't done
it in so long.
So just do something.
Laugh out loud.
Who cares if somebody lookingat you?
(36:04):
We're so concerned about thepeople that are not concerned
about us.
I don't care what I look likeor sound like.
This is me, and I'm so in lovewith who I have become over the
years from the struggles of notknowing how I would end up.
So now that I'm here and forwhatever journey ahead that God
(36:28):
has me on, i say yes, it is so,and it starts now with saying it
before it is.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'm trying not to scream.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Scream.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Because I want the people to hear what you're
saying.
But, oh my gosh, y'all need tohear what I'm saying.
I hope you hear this.
As you're telling this, i hearsecret sauce, secret sauce.
This is your brilliance.
It's your brilliance.
You're not trying to show up asyour mentor.
You're not trying to show up asyour principal or your AP.
(37:04):
You're not trying to show up asany of it.
Nothing wrong with beinginspired by somebody else, but
inspiration and imitation aretwo different things.
They are two different things,and the freedom to show up as
you and who you are and how youpresent and how you teach is so
(37:24):
powerful, because that's whatyour students need from you.
They don't need you to be theteacher down the hall.
They don't need you to act likewhoever the teacher of the year
was, even though you were theteacher of the year.
They don't need you to act.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
And then, even with that, dr PBJ, how does a teacher
of the year suppose to act orsupposed to be?
You will never be like me.
So it's like don't try.
Because when we compete andwhen we compare, we contaminate.
Why do I want to becontaminated with what God gave
(38:02):
me?
So we got a lot ofdecontamination that needs to be
occurring right now.
So we have to teach and modelthat for the students as
educators, as leaders, teachers,staff members, because we're
all role models to thosestudents.
It doesn't matter what you do,you're not going to be the
(38:25):
teacher, those students.
It doesn't matter where youwork in that building.
You still are a role model.
So don't compare to whatthey're cooking over there or
how they do it over there, howthey clean the school over there
, how they lead over there,because when we compare and when
we compete, we are all winners,we are all our victorious in
(38:49):
what we have been called,anointed and appointed to do.
So we got to show up as if weknow that.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Ma'am, ma'am, when we compete and when we compare, we
can, we contaminate.
I cannot with you today.
That's the truth.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yes, you can, yes, you can, yes you can.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Listen, that's the truth.
That's the truth And it's sopowerful and it's easy.
It's easy to slip into it,right?
Because you might be watchingsomebody to learn, you might be
watching somebody right, orpaying attention to see how you
can tweak or do something, andbefore you know it, before you
(39:32):
know it, you compare yourself tothat person and competing with
that person And you have lostwhat you were created to bring
Exactly.
It's not the same without you.
It's not.
They could hire another personand they would never get the
same bridge And they will.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
When I'm no longer there.
You have to know, and that's ano, dr PBJ, don't get me started
with the leaders who's comingafter you, who you are equipping
to come in?
They cannot take your place,you know, because we'll say, oh,
so, and so is here to takeRoberta's place.
No, they cannot take my place.
They take the position but notthe placement.
(40:09):
They're not me.
So.
But sometimes as leaders, aseducators, we're threatened by
the ones that will come.
Who will we pass the torch to?
We got to pass the torch.
We're not going to always be inthat same place, so we have to
be willing to submit to the next.
(40:30):
Yes, so if we submit to thenext in us, then we're able to
submit to the next person andwhat it is that they must do.
I love my mentor.
I have two mentors.
One of my mentors who was ahealthcare science teacher,
retired.
She said these words to me 19years ago when I first started
(40:51):
teaching.
She said I want you to takethis program and I want you to
make it better than what I did.
I will never forget her And Iwas shocked that someone would
say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
You know we'll say, i know she's going to be better
than what I did.
I know, but she spoke it to meand it activated me, dr PBJ, to
where I knew, now, movingforward, how to tell somebody.
I want you to make this betterthan what I did Because guess
what, at the end of the day, andall day, is for the children.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
All day.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Is it really for you or about you, or is it really
about our children?
in my books, in every book,it's going to always be about
the children, because I was thatchild that was looked over in
that classroom at times.
So it's going to always beabout the children, and not
always the gifted ones and theones that have the 4.0.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Right, right, and let me say this not always the ones
that are aware of their gift,exactly Because there are gifts
that are hidden in yourclassroom.
Those babies don't even knowthe gift inside of them because
they haven't had anybody toshine a light and to call out
brilliant.
So don't think just becausethey can't see it, or because
(42:15):
you can't see it yet, don'tthink that there's not a gift
and there's not brilliance.
If there's breath in their body, there is brilliance in that
child.
Yes, so we need our educatorsto look beyond the curriculum
and look beyond the GPA and seethe person, see the people that
(42:35):
you're showing up for every day.
When you can see the personthat you're showing up every day
, you don't get caught up in allthe mandates and all the
changes and all the stuff.
Yes, that happens and it can bethere.
That's not going to leave.
That's not going to change.
We approach it.
That's not going to change.
That's not going to change.
But that doesn't have to beyour focus.
(42:56):
It doesn't have to be yourfocus.
Why did you do this in thefirst place?
Why did you choose this or whydid it choose you?
If you didn't choose teaching,why did teaching choose you in
the first place?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Go back to the think chair.
Go back to the think chair.
Think about it.
There it is.
We have to go back.
That.
why That?
why?
Why am I here?
Yes, ma'am, why was I chosenfor this?
Why did I choose this?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
My goodness.
Okay, roberta, we got to letthese folks go, but before we do
, you have something specialcoming up in August and I need
you to let folks know what isgoing on with Team Moms 2 Beyond
in August.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yes, It is that time now that we would gather former
Team Moms, single Moms, womenborn to Team Moms or supporters.
If you are called into thisroom, we want you to be there
for the Beyond the birthingexperience, Who It is going to
be?
an event that is going toinspire and ignite you beyond.
(44:07):
Your beyond is waiting, Andsometimes we get called up in
our past, but this is not aboutour past.
It's beyond the past.
It's beyond the choices thatwe've made that did not agree
with our destiny and our purpose.
Yeah, So we are so excited.
It's August 26, 2023, and it'sgoing to be held on the south
(44:32):
side of Atlanta.
If you want more informationfor purchasing tickets, you need
to go to Team Moms, the numbertwo Beyondnet.
Again, that is Team Moms, thenumber two Beyondnet, and we are
hoping to see you.
In fact, we will see you.
I'm going to go ahead and justmake that claim that we will see
(44:55):
you And if there's some reasonthat you can't be there, support
someone that you know thatneeds to be in the room, because
on the website I do have aplace where, if you would like
to sponsor someone, please bethat person that will be willing
to soul into another younglady's life so that her family
will feel the impact of thisevent beyond the birthing
(45:20):
experience.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Oh, my goodness, Listen, even from this
conversation, i know y'all canfeel the power that's going to
be in that room.
So go get signed up.
All the links will be in theshow notes.
How to be a part of Roberta'scommunity will be in the show
notes.
Because you know you heard thecall, your heart hears the call.
(45:42):
You know you need to be in thiscommunity, you know you need to
be connected to what God isdoing through Roberta Axe.
So I will make sure that youhave all of these notes and
everything in the show notes.
Make sure you sign up for thebeyond the birthing experience.
My goodness, i'll guess y'allis.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
And, dr PBJ, i just want to take this time to honor
you because, even as I am ableto pour, i understand the need
for me to be poured in.
So you are my professionaldevelopment coach.
You are my profession I want tosay personal and professional,
because you dip on both sides,but it's that finishing for me
and I'm so honored that God didit.
(46:25):
God did it.
You are my professionaldevelopment coach.
I have a coach for each one ofmy pillars And I just want to
take this time to honor youpublicly for your continuous
pour into me, so that I'm ableto strip all the things that
need to be removed, so that Ican continue to show up As the
(46:45):
person that I was born to be inthis season of my time, and so
that I can continue to pour intothe ones that are called to me.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
My gosh Roberta.
I want you to know that it isan honor.
It is an honor for me to walkwith you in life, to be a part
of your community, to beconnected to you as sister and
to share any and everything thatHoly Spirit would give to me,
to you, that would help youalong your way.
It's an honor.
So, thank you, sister, whoy'all you need to share this
(47:16):
episode with somebody.
You know an educator, you knowa team mom or former team mom
who needs to hear thisconversation.
Don't keep this to yourself.
Share it with somebody so thattheir heart will get what it
needs today.
All right, do that for us And,as always y'all you know you are
powerful, you are significantand you are loved.
(47:41):
Love always, pbj.
Bye everybody.
Hey, hey, hey, friends, I am Dr Patrice Butler
Jackson, but you can call me PBJ.
Welcome to another episode ofDisrupting Burnout.
Friends, listen, july is backto school with PBJ And this
month we are dedicated to oureducators.
Whether you are a teacher inthe classroom or an
(00:30):
administrator, a principal, anAP, if you work at colleges or
universities, if you are atrainer at your job, if you are
an educator, this month isdedicated to you.
I don't know if you've listenedto my story, but this work
started so that I could serve mypeople.
I could serve educators andgive you what.
(00:52):
I know that we need to keepserving and doing the deep work
that we do.
So, friends, listen, i knowthat we're still in summer and
we are, And for some of you,that means you have some off
time.
For some of you, that meansyou're still working.
I know we're still in summer,but I think it's very important
that we think about a few thingsabout August before we get
(01:14):
there.
Sometimes August comes in likea Mack truck and it's almost
like you weren't ready for it.
You will be ready for it thisyear.
I want to make sure that wegive you what you need so that
you are preparing your heart,your mind, your body, your
family, your home.
You're preparing all the thingsso that you can have the best
school opening you have ever had.
(01:36):
And I could not have a betterguest to kick off this back to
schools series than the woman Iam about to introduce you to.
I met Roberta Akson in acoaching program that we both
joined And from the first day,from the first day of this
(01:59):
coaching program, you can't bein a space with Roberta and not
be impacted by the love of GodLike you can't.
You can't be around her, youcan't be close to her without
feeling the impact of love.
That is who she is, and thiswoman is an educator, she's a
mentor, she's a transformationalleader, she's a speaker, she's
(02:21):
the founder of Teen Moms 2Beyond.
She will tell you more aboutthat.
There's so much that she bringsto the table, but I want you to
know that the love that youexperienced through engaging
with Roberta Akson.
We met online, we connectedonline, but this woman got in
her car and drove to Augusta,georgia, to give me a hug.
(02:45):
This is, this is who she is.
So listen, without further ado,without further ado, i need to
introduce you all to my friend,my sister, fellow educator,
roberta Akson.
Roberta, thank you and welcometo Disrupting Burnout sister.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I feel welcomed.
Thank you so much, dr PBJ.
You said a lot You said, and Ifelt that.
I felt that, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You are a lot and I love it.
I love it all.
I love it all.
So, roberta, let's get started,because I know by now they're
wondering who is this woman.
So tell the people who you are.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, yes, ma'am, my name is Roberta Akson and I get
to serve in a capacity as amentor, as an educator, as an
empowerment leader Yes, anempowerment leader and the
founder of Teen Moms 2 BeyondAnd basically the Teen Moms the
(03:51):
number two beyond is because Iam a second generation of being
a Teen Mom.
My mother had me at the age of16 and I had a child at the age
of 15, but it stopped there.
It stopped there.
So the community where I amserving as the founder and Teen
Moms 2 Beyond is basically toprovide resources and support so
(04:16):
that we can maintain andsustain families, restructure,
rebuild, whatever we need to doto be that resource and support
one family at a time so thatthey can build and sustain their
legacies to be better, to bebeyond where they are, to get
what they need.
So I am honored that God wouldgive me such a vision in this
(04:39):
earth for such a time as this.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Listen, i felt that all over my body.
I felt that all over my bodywhat you are bringing to the
Teen Moms 2 Beyond community,but also think about every
community that those womenimpact, every community that
those women impact and therestructuring of the family.
As an educator, i know you haveseen the outcomes and the
(05:06):
consequences in your students ofhaving a Teen Mom or even being
a Teen Mom, but I know youdidn't just pull this out the
air.
So tell us your story, becauseyou are a nurse, you are an
educator moving into leadership.
But it didn't start there.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
You know, dr PBJ, when I think about that
conversation in that doctor'soffice close to 40 years ago now
, because my son will actuallybe 37 in August, he will
actually be 37 and going to thedoctor and not receiving
pre-natal care for over half ofthe pregnancy, because I just
(05:49):
did not know.
I did not know that I had lifegrowing inside of me.
But who would have thought thatGod would use that life to
propel me into such areas towhere I truly can make a
difference?
I truly was able to dosomething different.
And so when we talk about theclassroom, we talk about the
(06:13):
doctor's office.
You know, from being a nurse,from that nurse visiting me that
night saying you still have achance.
This child is going to bedependent on you.
What will you do with your life?
And then the door is opening towhere I can begin a career as
an LPN and then on to becoming aregistered nurse and on to
becoming a healthcare scienceeducator, so where I'm now
(06:36):
educating those students to gointo the field of healthcare.
But it started in that doctor'soffice with that conversation
from my doctor saying It'ssomething that you did a long
time ago because I didn't evenknow.
Again, i didn't even know I waspregnant And so removing myself
from that month of gettingpregnant, having consensual sex,
(07:00):
saying yes to something that Ididn't even realize, what I was
saying yes to, and fast forwardto, sitting there numb and
shamed and disappointed,depressed I mean.
It was just so many emotionsattacking me at once.
And my mother, just to think ofher thinking about.
(07:21):
She had recently lost her mom,five years prior to her getting
pregnant at the age of 16,losing a mother at the age of 11
, and five years later you'repregnant with your first child,
and now that child is having achild.
So what can we do differently?
hearing the voice, but thenit's like the muffled sound of
(07:44):
your pregnant, like what doesthat really even mean?
I didn't know what am I goingto do with this?
Can I give it back?
like all of that coming forthwith a force that I could not
control, i could not redirect itin any area.
This is in me.
(08:05):
You mean to tell me somethingthat I did is now in me still
the ignorance of sometimesmaking those decisions and you
don't know what you did.
So I get it to when I thinkabout the restructuring of the
family, and God really has asense of humor, because I never
(08:26):
wanted to teach.
I never, ever wanted to teach,but this is something that he
gave me as an assignment tobuild me.
I feel for this capacitybecause it's about the family.
And when you have those childrenthat come into your classroom,
into your offices, into yourbuilding faces, and they're not
(08:46):
equipped because they have ateen mom or a single mom or just
parents, that's trying tofigure it out, you know, because
sometimes it is, they have amother and a father at home, but
then they're still that gap,and so the restructuring, the
assignment, the call, the burden, the weight of it, it is so big
(09:10):
.
That's why the beyond is thefocal point.
It's not that we're going tofocus on a teen mom always,
because the heart that I have is, when there's a young girl
that's pregnant, we hover overthat young girl, we make sure
the baby has pamphlets, we makesure the baby has formula, but
(09:33):
then, as that child is growingup, that child becomes one and
two and three and four, and thatteen mom is continuing to grow.
Where's the support?
I had to figure it out.
I was in high school with athree year old.
Come on, i had a three year old, but nobody thought about that,
(09:54):
maybe that I still needed help,i still needed guidance, i
needed support And I had peoplesaying well, you just need to
just get a job and just you know, you don't need to go to school
because, of course, theenvironment that you're in, your
classmates are getting acceptedto colleges.
You know that's really not yourpath.
(10:14):
At that time I say that itcouldn't be.
But at that time, so what do Ido?
I didn't know.
But sometimes, as a youngmother, we don't know the
questions to ask.
Yeah, and so for me to be ableto go back and reach for the
ones that are assigned to me,because I know I'm not here to
save the world, that is not myassignment.
(10:36):
But, oh, do I remember how Iwish I could have, would have?
I had support, but there werethings that people could not
understand, they could notrelate unless unless it was
their story.
Yeah, so that is how team momsto beyond came about.
(10:57):
It was birth throughunderstanding that I can move
beyond my choice, beyondstatistics, beyond your judgment
of me.
Hmm, yes, it's a beyond thing.
You may not understand it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Oh, roberta.
So first of all, this is whyI'm a member of your community
And I'm so grateful that you are.
This is why.
So I was not a team mom, but mymama was.
My mama was 16 years old 16,she was a baby.
(11:37):
You were a baby 16 years oldAnd at 16, she started making
decisions, not just for her lifebut for mine.
And then my brother, who camealong later, and my sister, who
came along later.
My mother had a baby at 16years old, went to work
(11:57):
immediately.
She was an athlete.
She had to give up.
My mom was a championshipbasketball player.
She was an athlete.
She let that go when I camealong, but she never stopped
winning.
Let me tell you something Mymama went to work at our local
hospital when those hours didn'talign with what she needed to
(12:19):
take care of her baby.
She went to a hair school, shegot her license, she opened her
own salon and she has had hersalon 30 years.
How many small business ownerscan say they've been open and
thriving for 30 years?
So that's why I will alwayslive to bring her honor, always.
(12:39):
I will always live to bring herhonor because, even as such a
young age, she started makingdecisions for my now.
I would not be where I am todayif it wasn't for 16 year old
Patricia Jones.
So I just wanted to pause andhonor my mama, but also honor
(13:03):
you, because not only did youmake decisions to support your
son and then the son that camelater, but also look at what God
has created.
Look at what he's doing.
From your story, roberta, talkto us about how in the world did
you go from teen mom to I'mgoing to nursing school?
(13:24):
Like what does that look like?
How did you do that with babies?
Like how did that happen?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
It's like what you just mentioned.
There were no delays indecision making.
You have to do something now.
You have to do something forthat moment because I'm not sure
about you.
But I felt the guilt, even frommy mom, of not being able to do
things, and I love my mom andI'm so grateful that she made
(13:53):
the choice to have me.
Number one I'm here, but at thesame time, the things that have
to be pushed back and delayedbecause of the decision of now.
There was a now decision.
And so when I realized I was ina health occupations course in
high school and it was justsomething where I just enjoyed
(14:15):
serving, i enjoyed seeing peopledo better, get better.
So the nursing aspect, beingable to be at that bedside with
that physician, with the teen,and seeing where we actually
start with the dischargeplanning on the very first day,
it is that you know we work frombackwards to forward And I just
(14:36):
I love everything about it.
It was just the fulfillment Ifelt at that time to where I
needed to pause.
I needed to give myself time tocomplete this so that I would
have more, because the $3.85 anhour was not enough for 1990.
(14:56):
For a woman with a child,minimum wage was not gonna keep
me stuck and stagnant.
I just couldn't allow that.
So it was no delaying in thatdecision.
I needed to do something atthat moment, and so nursing was
it.
And I would start with thefoundation, with you know which
the licensed practical nurse wasfor me a foundation.
(15:19):
Now, you don't have to alwaysstart there, but I knew that if
I worked as an LPN, i could goback to school for my RN while
working as an LPN, and it willgive me the experience.
It will give me more than a$3.85 an hour.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Opportunities, and so that's how the door just opened
for me to do that.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I love and I appreciate the nurse and the
doctor who told you your life isnot over And that you can make
decisions now, and I soappreciate that you are sharing
that message forward, because Ihave encountered so many folks
who feel condemned, who feelthrown away, who feel like their
life is over, like they cannotmove forward.
(16:06):
They don't know what theiroptions are.
They don't know how in theworld they're gonna do it.
So I'm so grateful for theministry that you have now to
encourage teen moms, whetherthey have the newborn right now,
or if their kid is grown nowand they still feel stuck.
As that teen mom, i appreciatethat you are helping them move
(16:31):
beyond.
So talk practically.
Maybe there's a teen mom who'slistening to us right now, or
maybe she's in her early 20s andit's just her.
Maybe she's a single mom andshe's got this little one.
What are some practical thingsthat you did or you had to do in
order to accomplish this goalof getting this education but
(16:53):
also taking care of this baby?
Hey friend, listen, i haveexciting news for you.
So if you've been following,you know I've been writing this
book and I am so excited aboutgetting it into your hands.
And guess what?
Today I'm offering you thefirst sample of my new book.
(17:14):
This is my new book DisruptingBurnout.
Friends, listen, we have morework to do.
Okay, it's still going toprofessional editing, we still
need to design the book, but Ican't wait to all that's done
for you to start digging in.
So there's a sample copy that Iread myself for you that's
available to you today.
(17:34):
All you have to do is go towwwpatricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash
book againpatricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash
book.
Grab your sample, listen to thesample chapter and listen.
Let me know what you think.
I cannot wait for you to hearthis book, friend, go grab it
(17:58):
today.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well, it actually is the root of my pillars.
I have five pillars in thecommunity that I serve to be on,
and that is, first and foremost, self-care.
I did not know how to self-care, care for self, i did not.
And so the foundation of beingable to take that sea law, that
(18:25):
pause, to where I need to justtake a breath, i need to just be
in the moment, because we'realways rushing And as a team mom
former team mom you're alwaysfeeling like you're behind.
You had a child, now you gottaplay catch up.
You have to catch up, but it'sa lifestyle And I think
sometimes we think that, oh,this is where I am and I've
(18:50):
arrived.
But no, no, this is where I am,but where am I going?
I have to move beyond this part, the next phase and seeing it
in cycles and phases.
So, self-care, number one I hadto learn, and I am still
learning, how to care for selfin different phases of my life.
So I would definitely speak tothat team mom, that former team
(19:11):
mom you have to take time foryou, you have to take that time
for you, whatever that lookslike.
And sometimes we say, oh, ican't afford to go on a vacation
.
Well, you can afford to go tothe park, you can afford to do
whatever it is where your budgetis speaking.
So, number two, the timemanagement making time for you,
making time for the things thatare priorities for you, to you.
(19:32):
So as you invest now, you willbenefit later, and that's the
number one.
Resource is time.
So self-care, time management.
And then there's moneymanagement.
You cannot manage money untilyou're able, till we are able to
manage the time that we've beengiven.
We all have 24 hours, sevendays a week.
(19:53):
The year passes.
Each and every day, each andevery second, each and every
minute is gonna accumulate andaccrue the same time value.
But what are we doing todevelop our sales with the time
and manage our sales with thetime and the money, the
resources that we've beeninterested with?
(20:14):
Like I stated earlier, $3.85 wasnot a lot, but I made it
stretch, i made it work, i knewI wanted more, i knew I needed
more, but what was I willing?
What time was I willing toinvest in the more then that I
needed?
And so the self-care, timemanagement, money management.
And then the last two pillarsthat I have in the group are
(20:37):
personal development andprofessional development, and,
in my opinion, you cannotdevelop as a professional person
until you dig deep and know whoyou are, your identity, and
sometimes, as children are bornto a young mother, that identity
is a tag.
There's an identity crisis evenfor the teen mom.
(20:58):
Who am I, what purpose am Ihere for?
And so being able to developpersonally, spiritually,
mentally, emotionally,spiritually all of the things
physically that will help us todevelop into the professional
person that we need to be, thatcapstone of my purpose in the
professional development, andthen that's what we're able to
(21:21):
go out and serve as a wholeperson to the ones that are
still trying to find their way.
And being that guide, beingthat facilitator, because we
understand self-care, because weunderstand time and money
management, because weunderstand personal and
professional development.
It's key, it's critical.
(21:41):
And so the former teen mom orthe teen mom now, that's part in
any of those pillars.
They're able to connect,they're able to find their way,
their path and build from there.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
The fact that you didn't start with the
professional development is soimportant, because often we
start with the what am I gonnado?
What am I gonna do?
Who am I gonna be?
What am I gonna do?
But you started with self-careand it's often the last thing
that a mom is thinking about ateen mom, or any mom The
self-care is the last thing thatshe's thinking about.
(22:17):
But we know the truth is, if wedon't start there, then we
can't sustain what we're doingfor anybody else.
Exactly, it is so critical tostart there And then to go with
the time management.
You can't manage your moneyunless you manage your time.
Roberta, you are preachingtoday because people are
(22:38):
figuring out ways to make moremoney every day, but let me know
who can make more time.
Please tell me how you can makemore time.
We all get the same amount oftime just by waking up and
breathing as long as we're alive.
We're getting the same amountof time every day, but it's
limited.
It's limited And we have to bea good steward over our limited
(23:02):
resource.
Oh, that's so good.
That's so good.
So okay, because we got to talkto these educators, because
those five pillars that you justmentioned are important for
educators, whether they are teenmoms or not.
So talk to me about.
Let's go back to your story.
How did you move from nursingto teaching and teaching the
(23:26):
course that had such an impacton you in high school?
Now listen, tell us about it?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Nobody but God.
Like I mentioned, i would neverand I even said that to someone
that spoke that I would beteaching.
I said, oh, i would never dothat.
They don't make enough money.
That is what I had the nerve tosay And God said, okay, i'll
show you.
And really he showed me.
(23:54):
But when I tell you the mostrewarding and I thought, nursing
was my everything.
I was so grateful to be chosento completion of a program that
could make a difference not justfor my life, my child's life,
but for others.
But when I tell you, being aneducator, my heart just, it just
(24:17):
throbs for being that voice,being present with my presence,
the gifts that he trusts me withthose students, they mean
everything to me.
They mean everything.
And so when I get theopportunity to serve them in the
(24:39):
capacity that he entrusts me toserve them, it's major.
It's major And I try to run, itry to hide, but that's where
the leadership is rising up inme now.
But, being an educator for thepast 18 years, i can't think of
anything else.
That it's that, god, really.
(25:02):
And the fact that the way heeven got me to this point I had
he even brought witnesses, drPBJ to where, when he spoke it
to me, he brought she's mymentor now, but he brought
another educator and theprincipal that hired me to make
sure I knew.
Yes, i said you're gettingready to teach my children And
(25:25):
so it's so much bigger than aclassroom.
That's the thing, and I'm sograteful that I get to serve
them the way he allows me toserve them, not the standards
for the Department of Educationof Georgia, but the way God
desired that I serve them andteach them and groom them for
(25:45):
more.
They're beyond as well.
They're beyond the classroom,they're beyond high school and
middle school.
I've never taught elementary,but I taught middle and high
school.
They're beyond and that theycan make a difference.
So just to be, i'm just honoredAnd just to be chosen from my
(26:06):
background of being a formerteen mom to now being able to
teach and lead in such a way,that is really it's mind blowing
to me sometimes, because Ican't even believe that the
things that he shows me, thatare coming And I'm like, okay, i
have to trust you because Itrust you back then, how you
(26:28):
equip me, because Dr PBJ, when Ifirst started teaching in, this
goes to show you God does not.
He doesn't call the qualified,he qualifies the call.
I had an associate degree I onlyhad an associate's degree in
nursing And I had a colleague ofmine to say that an associate
(26:49):
degree is not a degree And I wasoffended by that because I'm
just like I worked very hard forthat nursing degree and passing
the state board for my nursinglicense And the fact that
sometimes people just don't seean associate's or licensed, a
practical nursing program asequal or adequate enough.
(27:11):
But this is why we have to be inthese classroom, in these
buildings, office and space totell the students it doesn't
matter where you start, juststart.
Yeah, you start with one stepAnd so, being in place, i truly
have to cooperate and co-laborwith God, because I look at
sometimes the ones that are leftbehind because they're not the
(27:35):
gifted or the chosen.
I know how that feels.
And for him to choose me forsuch a time as this to educate,
to not just teach and touch witha heart for them, but to also
love them and lead them to wherethey need to be.
So I'm just honored to wearthis door open for me to pursue
(27:58):
this career, because when Ithink back from nursing to
education to whatever else is onhis agenda.
I just wanna align myself andagree with whatever else he has
for me.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
That's the amen.
It is so.
We say amen because we agree,and that's the key.
just agree, obesity is thesuccess.
Whatever the outcome is, it'sup to him, but the obedience is
the success.
But at this point, roberta, youhave had students 18 years of
(28:35):
students that you have impactedtheir lives, and I know they
come back and see you and theycheck in with you because I know
what kind of impact you have.
I know how you show up in aroom, so I can only imagine
being your student and havingyou pour into me, but I also
know that when you are theperson that pours, it cost you
(28:56):
something.
So talk a little bit to yourfellow educators.
So to the teachers, theadministrators, folks who are
listening to this episode.
What would you encourage themto do to prepare themselves to
start a new academic year?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
It goes back to the pillar self-care.
What does that look like?
You may need to define it,because sometimes the academia
in us we want to analyze, but weneed to normalize and not
analyze so much.
as an educator.
We have to take time for self.
(29:40):
We have to take time to takethose deep breaths to where our
lungs can really feel thecapacity of oxygen.
We need the oxygen, we needthat breath.
We need life in us because wegive so much to other lives.
So we need that return.
So being able to sit, justhaving time to think.
(30:03):
Bring a journal I travel with ajournal.
I have a journal in my prayerroom that doesn't leave.
I mean a journal in my car thatstays in the car, a journal
always on me, like with mybackpack or purse.
You sometimes you just need tosit with the thought.
We have to take time to sitwith a thought, not the thoughts
, but a thought.
(30:24):
What is a thought for today?
And it could be refresh a wordfor today.
It could be steal, stealyourself.
Whatever it is.
We have to normalize, notanalyze so much the word self
care and what it looks like, andnot that it has to look the
(30:46):
same, because what my self careregiment may look like at the
beginning of the school year.
It may not look the same afterone month or two months or three
months.
Go back, just like we go to thedoctor and we need to check up,
whether it be annual or howeverquarterly we go back.
So why not go back for thatself care check up or check in,
(31:10):
maybe?
Speaker 1 (31:12):
That's so good.
That is so good Oh my gosh,that's so good.
So the self care and to thinkabout it now, like don't wait
until you get into the throes ofAugust.
Your students are in yourclassroom, the demands are
happening and you are trying tofigure out how to chase your
(31:33):
tail.
You're trying to figure out howto.
no, you can make a plan, likebe intentional.
I love the way you have plantedjournals in every space of your
life so that you can have thinktime.
I think one of the biggestlosses that we had since the
pandemic is, i think time,because we're going from one
screen to another screen, toanother screen, to in person,
(31:56):
now to another screen that wedon't ever stop.
And just a little.
yes, it's overwhelming.
Our brain was not created toprocess information, not this
amount of information, and ithas nothing to do with your
intelligence.
It's because you're human.
We were not created to processin this way And we're not even
(32:17):
allowing the process to happen.
So, just setting yourself upfor success to make sure you
incorporate some think time.
What are some things, roberta?
and we're gonna bring it to aclose, but what are some things
like throughout your days withyour students?
So you were in the classroomand I know you got professional
(32:40):
learning and conferences andthis and that and all those
things.
What are some things that youdo throughout your days to kind
of get that say lie as you say,that moment of rest.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Well, i enjoy music therapy as well.
I do soaking where there's justinstrumental music, to where
I'm not trying to sing a song,no words, and it could be some
Beethoven, mozart, it could bejust listening to the water or
the rain, the elements.
(33:12):
It could be just me steppingout into the hallway because
this is the first time I havenot had a window in my classroom
and it's been so hard for meBecause I like seeing the light,
i draw light because I am light, and I have to step out
(33:34):
sometimes into the hallway andthey're right there.
I'm not going runningdownstairs or something without
them, but just being able tostep away.
We don't know how to do that.
Sometimes you need to take alunch in your car, if you can or
take a lunch somewhere else ina hallway at a table.
I even sit with the studentssometimes at lunch because it
(33:55):
changes up, just doing somethingdifferent.
It's doing the different,something that people wouldn't
expect you in.
I do.
I dance with them.
I mean I just change it.
It just depends on whatever Ifeel.
They teach me things, i teachthem things.
Just I think again, it's theroutine of people just wanting
(34:18):
that analytical, the plan, thechecklist, and it drives you
insane sometimes because you'reoverwhelmed by all the things on
the paper but you're not intune to the person.
You got all the things on thepaper, but what about the person
?
The person is nowhere on thatpaper.
(34:39):
And so just being able toredirect your spirit flow to
something different, smiling,even smiling, a laughter to
where, hey, does anyone have ajoke today?
they want to share.
They don't know what to expect,dr PBJ, when they come to my
class room, i mean I'm thatteacher that.
(35:00):
And like I tell them, you'renot going to find a nurse and a
teacher in this building.
You have two for one.
So I'm the only nurse andteacher.
So don't expect me to be likeanyone else, even as a leader,
when I walk into my next role asan administrator.
They're not gonna have aprincipal, an assistant
(35:21):
principal.
There's also a registered nurse, because I will always keep my
nursing license.
So it's just knowing who youare and what it feeds your
spirit, your soul, your person.
And when we take the time tothink about who we are, why we
hear, what things do wecontribute into the areas and
(35:43):
arenas that we've been calledand assigned to, then it'll flow
easier.
I think that we're sometimessuffocated and constipated with
stuff to where we can't breathe.
It hurts us to take a deepbreath because we haven't done
it in so long.
So just do something.
Laugh out loud.
Who cares if somebody lookingat you?
(36:04):
We're so concerned about thepeople that are not concerned
about us.
I don't care what I look likeor sound like.
This is me, and I'm so in lovewith who I have become over the
years from the struggles of notknowing how I would end up.
So now that I'm here and forwhatever journey ahead that God
(36:28):
has me on, i say yes, it is so,and it starts now with saying it
before it is.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
I'm trying not to scream.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Scream.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Because I want the people to hear what you're
saying.
But, oh my gosh, y'all need tohear what I'm saying.
I hope you hear this.
As you're telling this, i hearsecret sauce, secret sauce.
This is your brilliance.
It's your brilliance.
You're not trying to show up asyour mentor.
You're not trying to show up asyour principal or your AP.
(37:04):
You're not trying to show up asany of it.
Nothing wrong with beinginspired by somebody else, but
inspiration and imitation aretwo different things.
They are two different things,and the freedom to show up as
you and who you are and how youpresent and how you teach is so
(37:24):
powerful, because that's whatyour students need from you.
They don't need you to be theteacher down the hall.
They don't need you to act likewhoever the teacher of the year
was, even though you were theteacher of the year.
They don't need you to act.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
And then, even with that, dr PBJ, how does a teacher
of the year suppose to act orsupposed to be?
You will never be like me.
So it's like don't try.
Because when we compete andwhen we compare, we contaminate.
Why do I want to becontaminated with what God gave
(38:02):
me?
So we got a lot ofdecontamination that needs to be
occurring right now.
So we have to teach and modelthat for the students as
educators, as leaders, teachers,staff members, because we're
all role models to thosestudents.
It doesn't matter what you do,you're not going to be the
(38:25):
teacher, those students.
It doesn't matter where youwork in that building.
You still are a role model.
So don't compare to whatthey're cooking over there or
how they do it over there, howthey clean the school over there
, how they lead over there,because when we compare and when
we compete, we are all winners,we are all our victorious in
(38:49):
what we have been called,anointed and appointed to do.
So we got to show up as if weknow that.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Ma'am, ma'am, when we compete and when we compare, we
can, we contaminate.
I cannot with you today.
That's the truth.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Yes, you can, yes, you can, yes you can.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Listen, that's the truth.
That's the truth And it's sopowerful and it's easy.
It's easy to slip into it,right?
Because you might be watchingsomebody to learn, you might be
watching somebody right, orpaying attention to see how you
can tweak or do something, andbefore you know it, before you
(39:32):
know it, you compare yourself tothat person and competing with
that person And you have lostwhat you were created to bring
Exactly.
It's not the same without you.
It's not.
They could hire another personand they would never get the
same bridge And they will.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
When I'm no longer there.
You have to know, and that's ano, dr PBJ, don't get me started
with the leaders who's comingafter you, who you are equipping
to come in?
They cannot take your place,you know, because we'll say, oh,
so, and so is here to takeRoberta's place.
No, they cannot take my place.
They take the position but notthe placement.
(40:09):
They're not me.
So.
But sometimes as leaders, aseducators, we're threatened by
the ones that will come.
Who will we pass the torch to?
We got to pass the torch.
We're not going to always be inthat same place, so we have to
be willing to submit to the next.
(40:30):
Yes, so if we submit to thenext in us, then we're able to
submit to the next person andwhat it is that they must do.
I love my mentor.
I have two mentors.
One of my mentors who was ahealthcare science teacher,
retired.
She said these words to me 19years ago when I first started
(40:51):
teaching.
She said I want you to takethis program and I want you to
make it better than what I did.
I will never forget her And Iwas shocked that someone would
say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
You know we'll say, i know she's going to be better
than what I did.
I know, but she spoke it to meand it activated me, dr PBJ, to
where I knew, now, movingforward, how to tell somebody.
I want you to make this betterthan what I did Because guess
what, at the end of the day, andall day, is for the children.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
All day.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Is it really for you or about you, or is it really
about our children?
in my books, in every book,it's going to always be about
the children, because I was thatchild that was looked over in
that classroom at times.
So it's going to always beabout the children, and not
always the gifted ones and theones that have the 4.0.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Right, right, and let me say this not always the ones
that are aware of their gift,exactly Because there are gifts
that are hidden in yourclassroom.
Those babies don't even knowthe gift inside of them because
they haven't had anybody toshine a light and to call out
brilliant.
So don't think just becausethey can't see it, or because
(42:15):
you can't see it yet, don'tthink that there's not a gift
and there's not brilliance.
If there's breath in their body, there is brilliance in that
child.
Yes, so we need our educatorsto look beyond the curriculum
and look beyond the GPA and seethe person, see the people that
(42:35):
you're showing up for every day.
When you can see the personthat you're showing up every day
, you don't get caught up in allthe mandates and all the
changes and all the stuff.
Yes, that happens and it can bethere.
That's not going to leave.
That's not going to change.
We approach it.
That's not going to change.
That's not going to change.
But that doesn't have to beyour focus.
(42:56):
It doesn't have to be yourfocus.
Why did you do this in thefirst place?
Why did you choose this or whydid it choose you?
If you didn't choose teaching,why did teaching choose you in
the first place?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Go back to the think chair.
Go back to the think chair.
Think about it.
There it is.
We have to go back.
That.
why That?
why?
Why am I here?
Yes, ma'am, why was I chosenfor this?
Why did I choose this?
Speaker 1 (43:24):
My goodness.
Okay, roberta, we got to letthese folks go, but before we do
, you have something specialcoming up in August and I need
you to let folks know what isgoing on with Team Moms 2 Beyond
in August.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yes, It is that time now that we would gather former
Team Moms, single Moms, womenborn to Team Moms or supporters.
If you are called into thisroom, we want you to be there
for the Beyond the birthingexperience, Who It is going to
be?
an event that is going toinspire and ignite you beyond.
(44:07):
Your beyond is waiting, Andsometimes we get called up in
our past, but this is not aboutour past.
It's beyond the past.
It's beyond the choices thatwe've made that did not agree
with our destiny and our purpose.
Yeah, So we are so excited.
It's August 26, 2023, and it'sgoing to be held on the south
(44:32):
side of Atlanta.
If you want more informationfor purchasing tickets, you need
to go to Team Moms, the numbertwo Beyondnet.
Again, that is Team Moms, thenumber two Beyondnet, and we are
hoping to see you.
In fact, we will see you.
I'm going to go ahead and justmake that claim that we will see
(44:55):
you And if there's some reasonthat you can't be there, support
someone that you know thatneeds to be in the room, because
on the website I do have aplace where, if you would like
to sponsor someone, please bethat person that will be willing
to soul into another younglady's life so that her family
will feel the impact of thisevent beyond the birthing
(45:20):
experience.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
Oh, my goodness, Listen, even from this
conversation, i know y'all canfeel the power that's going to
be in that room.
So go get signed up.
All the links will be in theshow notes.
How to be a part of Roberta'scommunity will be in the show
notes.
Because you know you heard thecall, your heart hears the call.
(45:42):
You know you need to be in thiscommunity, you know you need to
be connected to what God isdoing through Roberta Axe.
So I will make sure that youhave all of these notes and
everything in the show notes.
Make sure you sign up for thebeyond the birthing experience.
My goodness, i'll guess y'allis.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
And, dr PBJ, i just want to take this time to honor
you because, even as I am ableto pour, i understand the need
for me to be poured in.
So you are my professionaldevelopment coach.
You are my profession I want tosay personal and professional,
because you dip on both sides,but it's that finishing for me
and I'm so honored that God didit.
(46:25):
God did it.
You are my professionaldevelopment coach.
I have a coach for each one ofmy pillars And I just want to
take this time to honor youpublicly for your continuous
pour into me, so that I'm ableto strip all the things that
need to be removed, so that Ican continue to show up As the
(46:45):
person that I was born to be inthis season of my time, and so
that I can continue to pour intothe ones that are called to me.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
My gosh Roberta.
I want you to know that it isan honor.
It is an honor for me to walkwith you in life, to be a part
of your community, to beconnected to you as sister and
to share any and everything thatHoly Spirit would give to me,
to you, that would help youalong your way.
It's an honor.
So, thank you, sister, whoy'all you need to share this
(47:16):
episode with somebody.
You know an educator, you knowa team mom or former team mom
who needs to hear thisconversation.
Don't keep this to yourself.
Share it with somebody so thattheir heart will get what it
needs today.
All right, do that for us And,as always y'all you know you are
powerful, you are significantand you are loved.
(47:41):
Love always, pbj.
Bye everybody.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!