January 8, 2025 • 19 mins
SHOW #73! Season 3, Episode 4: Welcome to the disSOLViNG fear podcast! Find coaching, free resources, our monthly newsletter community and more at missalissa.com
IN THIS EPISODE: We're talking about boundaries, standards, and cutting the cord to past resentments, old hurts, or people and experiences that you've already moved on from in life, but you keep thinking about or fixating on in your mind.
If you've been preoccupied or distracted by the past, tune in! Cut ties to anything that's still draining your energy in the new year. The cord cutting meditation starts 11 minutes into the episode, toward the end. You can do the practice anytime. The new year is a great time to cut any cords to things that no longer serve you: anything that weighs you down or feels like a ball and chain.
Cut the cord. Free yourself. Shift your focus in the new year!
Today, we're talking about what standards and boundaries are. I mention the book, "Boundaries," in this episode, so go ahead and click here to check out the book! It's been around for a long time and it's quite popular.
I also mention author and researcher Brene Brown. She gives some great advice about boundaries! Here is some of her advice:
1. Make a mantra like "It's better to set a boundary and feel awkward about it, then to have no boundaries and feel resentment about it." Say the mantra to yourself, or write it down.
2. Rehearse setting your boundaries out loud! Just say to yourself "my plate is full" or "I need alone time" or "I've already got enough going on" and rehearse those statements out loud while you vacuum your floor, drive to work, or wash your dishes.
Basically, YOU decide what's ok with you, and what's not ok, when it comes to what you need and what other people (your kids, co-workers, friends, etc) want from you. Prioritize your own needs.
Boundaries are great because YOU decide what to say "yes" to and "no" to. YOU decide when to accept or decline an invitation to go somewhere. YOU decide how to spend your free time, what to focus on, who to talk to, and how often.
If you liked this episode, you'll love my interview with Ashlie right here on the disSOLViNG fear podcast back in March, 2024! You can find the interview on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any platform by scrolling back to the March, 2024 episodes. Ashlie is a fitness expert and an entrepreneur who left a relationship with a narcissist AND found her tribe, all in one day. You'll love our conversation.
Thank you for being HERE at disSOLViNG fear.
Fear doesn't run the show, YOU do!
Much Love, Alissa
Visit missalissa.com to join the free newsletter community, book a 1:1 coaching call, and explore awesome ways to create your best life!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Welcome to the Dissolving Fear podcast if you have big dreams
and plans but you get distractedby fear and doubt.
TuneIn because we can all live amore fearless and free life
starting today. Fear doesn't run the show you
do. And fear doesn't run this show.
(00:29):
I'm your host, Alyssa, and the mission here is a world where
fear doesn't control us. I'm here to share stories,
proven tools, and inspiring guest interviews so that you can
keep up your forward momentum inlife without getting dragged
down by anxiety or adversity. Follow this podcast.
You'll love the results. Loving life is what we're all
(00:51):
about here on the podcast and atmissalyssa.com.
Enjoy the show. So today I'm just going to talk
a little bit about boundaries, standards and cutting the cord,
which is kind of the ultimate boundary.
Cord cutting is basically like cutting yourself off from
somebody after you've been involved.
(01:13):
And it's easy. It can happen to anybody, right?
Like, we have high standards andwe have boundaries, but then
something still happens and we get attached to somebody
emotionally and it's hard to letgo.
So we'll wrap up the episode with a guided visualization for
actually cutting the cord to anything that's not serving you.
(01:34):
Maybe you're preoccupied with comparing yourself to others and
it's a habit and you need to cutit off.
Maybe you're still attached to an ex lover or a friend you've
outgrown. Or maybe you still feel
obligated to go to your mother in law's every Sunday night for
a dinner that's super uncomfortable or judgmental.
Well, I have a feeling that you might be taking a break from any
(01:57):
lame Sunday dinners when you're done with this episode.
Anybody you still feel attached to, you can cut the cord.
I'm fine with that if you want to blame it on the podcast for
skipping Sunday dinner for a while.
So you guys, standards are so important because if we have
good standards, high standards, then we don't need as many
(02:19):
boundaries and we don't need to explain to people, OK, this,
these are my expectations. This is what I accept.
This is what I don't tolerate. If you can initially have high
standards with the people that you let into your life, they're
going to match your energy. You're going to align with the
people and the rest, you're going to just release them and
(02:39):
let them go before they even gettoo involved.
It's kind of like fishing, catchand release.
Tons of fish are going to come your way, especially with
dating. There's lots of fish in the sea.
And I always say when it comes to finding somebody, sometimes
the odds are good, but the goodsare odd, right?
You have all these fish in the sea and you're not going to just
(03:01):
take whatever fish life throws your way.
You're going to let the smelly ones go immediately, right?
I'm picturing you down at Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, WA
and somebody keeps tossing you afish every minute or so and you
get to decide if the fish gets aspecial spot in your cooler of
(03:21):
ice and it gets to go home with you.
OK, you might get into a job that you thought was going to
last a long time and it turns out it's lame, it's toxic.
This is a good time for catch and release.
OK, I caught a job, I thought itwas going to be awesome.
It's not and it's time to let itgo before it stresses you out or
(03:42):
crushes your spirit or affects your self esteem.
Same with guys, they're going tocome into your life or girls
lovers. You catch some and you let some
go immediately. This is where your standards
help you out. Your standards help out with the
catch and release. Sometimes we're not ready for
(04:03):
change because we just got the job right?
But then it's time to brush up your resume and look for another
one. Catch and release.
The more you make letting go a part of your focus, a part of
your life, the less scary it will seem.
Even if you meet somebody who seems like the love of your life
and months go by before you start noticing red flags and
(04:27):
you're a little invested emotionally in the relationship
at this point. Catch and release.
It is still better to cut ties when you realize someone needs
to go rather than waiting. So high standards OK and the
moment something doesn't feel right and doesn't seem up to par
(04:49):
up to your standards, let it go.We can't control who we cross
paths with and all the fish thatget thrown at us, but we can
control how long we spend with the people we cross paths with
and how much time we spend on certain people, certain jobs,
and even the habits that we have.
(05:12):
Having these high standards whenit comes to everything about
you, your thoughts, your words, your actions, your high
standards will protect you. So those are the high standards.
Catch and release. Release what's not working now
with boundaries, I think of my kids, OK, no matter what my
standards are, I get the kids that I get and then I have to
(05:36):
teach them boundaries. So family members, sometimes our
children, definitely they require boundaries because we
can't just kick them out of our lives and a lot of us wouldn't
want to. My kids are 9 and 13 and I'm a
full time high school special Edteacher, so I know a lot about
boundaries with students and my own children.
(05:59):
There are actually a ton of great books about boundaries by
Doctor Henry Cloud and Doctor John Townsend, and their most
popular book is called Boundaries.
And they also have a good book called Boundaries with Kids.
They have a book about boundaries in dating, boundaries
in marriage, and even with teens.
So they have a lot of books for sale.
(06:21):
And we don't just need our standards in place, but we also
need to have a sense of what boundaries are, especially with
kids. We can't just let them stay up
all night or stop showering for a week.
Kids need limits and boundaries on their screen time, on their
spending, and we need to teach them that their decisions have
(06:42):
consequences. So healthy boundaries help
children grow. And in my opinion, healthy
boundaries help healthy relationships grow.
It's not about telling somebody else what to do, because I'd
never expect people to change according to my preferences, but
it's just about letting somebodyknow these are my preferences.
(07:02):
This is how I live my life. Brené Brown, if you've heard of
her, she is a great author. She wrote the book Atlas of the
Heart, and it's all about emotions, but she also talks
about boundaries. So if you wanted to look up
Brené Brown and boundaries, you probably already know her.
I think her haircuts are super cute.
She always looks so cute. And she's a professor, I think,
(07:25):
at Stanford University. She's a researcher.
She's probably a millionaire author by now.
And her take on boundaries is simple.
Boundaries is like where you endand another person's life
begins. So this is what I'm allowing in
my life. And if you want to be a part of
it, great. If it's if it's a good match,
(07:46):
great. So you're not telling somebody
else what to do. You're just telling somebody
else what your expectations are.So I tell my kids, when you're
at my house, I expect you to keep your room clean or I expect
you to go to bed on time. Giving kids limits and
boundaries and telling them what's okay and what's not okay,
(08:08):
it actually helps them feel super safe.
I used to teach at an elementaryschool and kids are always
testing the limits, right? But they want to know that you
care enough to set a boundary and especially with like
romantic relationships, care enough about yourself to set a
boundary, right? Personally, I've never cheated
on anyone or been cheated on that I know of.
(08:31):
But personally, if I like somebody, that's the
conversation that I bring up early on in a relationship
because my personal boundary is one and done.
Like if I would ever get cheatedon, they would not be getting a
second chance. And the last thing I'll say is
with boundaries, it really helpsto keep your boundaries and
(08:52):
limits in place because your kids will test your limits.
Lots of people, even lovers, will test your limits and see if
you really mean what you say andsay what you mean.
And so I think once you give in one time, it's really hard to
set those boundaries back up in place.
(09:14):
So finally, let's move into the cord cutting, visualization
meditation. I love cord cutting because it's
a tool for healing and moving forward past a relationship
that's draining you or past a situation that's draining you.
Even if it's over and done with the relationship, the situation,
(09:34):
if it's still impacting you in some way and you're thinking
about it and you're feeling emotionally tied to a person, it
helps to do a cord cutting meditation.
Also with Co parenting relationships, sometimes you're
still seeing your acts on a regular basis.
So whenever a relationship ends and you're still preoccupied
(09:57):
with it or you're still seeing the person or even allowing them
to message you, if it's drainingyou, if it's on your mind, it's
probably impacting how you look at yourself, how you feel about
yourself, how you think about your future, and it's probably
even affecting your behavior with other people.
(10:19):
So if you can think of a person who's affecting you or a
situation or even a habit it's been hard to let go of, then you
know it's time for a cord cutting.
And if you don't feel any different after this cord
cutting meditation, don't worry.Sometimes you want to do it a
few times so you can save this episode and of course follow the
(10:40):
podcast and come back to the meditation any time.
I'm also going to make a separate episode with just the
cord cutting meditation so that it's the go to and it's a
shorter helpful episode for you.So let's cut the cord and let go
and free yourself of an old influence from the past.
(11:02):
If you've had a breakup or you're still replaying a
situation in your head, a loss that you've had, if you're still
thinking about it and it's affecting your feelings or if
you're holding on to resentment,let's release it right now.
Let's dive into a cord cutting meditation.
(11:26):
If you're doing this practice with me right now, I highly
recommend a nice cleansing Epsomsalt bath before bed tonight
after the practice. Cord cutting is all about you
and grounding into your energy and letting go of attachments in
a peaceful way. So we're not waging war against
(11:50):
your ex or anything. If you want to cut the cord that
you have with your ex and cut the connection, it's not about
them being a bad person. It's just about you and having
closure so that you feel more grounded in your energy and more
connected to yourself and less stuck on somebody else and
(12:10):
connected to them. So sit or lie down, breathing
down into your belly, expanding your breath into your belly.
Every inhalation you're inhalinginto your belly, letting your
body expand, letting your body take up space and claim your
(12:33):
power. Inhaling, feeling bigger and
more powerful with every inhalation.
Now think of someone or something, an issue that you
feel distracted by, chained to, stuck to, hooked into.
(12:57):
Like you're a fish on a hook andyou can't quite wiggle free of
this unhealthy connection or obsession or distraction.
Maybe you feel hooked to a person or a substance.
Maybe you feel hooked on a fear about money, hooked on comparing
(13:19):
yourself to others. Whatever it is, imagine you're
swimming through a huge, vast ocean, a sea of possibility and
potential, and you're ready to let go of that hook in your
mouth. You're ready to cut that cord
that you're attached to and swimforward with more forward
(13:42):
momentum. So the first thing you need to
cut this cord, this fishing lineconnecting you to your past, is
a beautiful shiny golden sword. Feel your hand closing around
(14:07):
the sword. Grab the sword, and as soon as
you do, lift it up and slice through that cord.
Slice through that connection towhatever you're done with.
As soon as you slice that cord, that fishing line, the hook
(14:30):
dissolves into the water like the hook was never in your mouth
in the 1st place. You can smile.
You can breathe, you can do whatever you want.
You are free, and you swim off into that vast sea of potential.
(14:54):
Nothing holding you back. Whatever was distracting you or
weighing you down is gone. It's floating out to sea and you
don't really need to know where it's headed.
Let it go, because now you feel lighter and happier and ready
(15:21):
for the new year ahead. Take a deep breath.
Come up to the surface of the ocean.
Look at the sun. Feel the fresh air on your face.
Know that you are free and untethered as you move into the
year ahead. It is perfectly normal.
(15:41):
If you feel like you need to do this practice again sometime,
especially if something new comes up and you want to repeat
this visualization and meditation and cut the cord to
something else, revisit this practice anytime.
(16:01):
I recommend cutting the cords one at a time and so cutting the
cord to one person and then maybe later in the day visit
this practice and cut the cord to the next thing and the next
thing. And the last thing I'll say is
listen, you have come too far togo back to whatever was tying
(16:26):
you down. If you start thinking about
going back to that person, that X, that hook in your mouth, it
is not what you truly want. So whatever it takes for you,
promise me that when you think about going back, you pause and
take a few deep breaths. Just give yourself a little
(16:48):
pause before taking action or making decisions.
Because sometimes we're thinkingabout, you know, that beer and
before we're done thinking aboutit, we're out the door to the
bar, right? Or we're thinking about that X
and before we take a breath and pause, we're texting the X,
right? You just cut the cord to a very
(17:10):
stuck situation and now you are unstuck.
So practice the pause because you don't want to jump back into
the same sticky glue. So give yourself some grace and
a little space to stop and thinkbefore you head back to
something that you already just let go of.
(17:32):
You don't need to go back. You don't need to hold on.
The only thing that you should hold on to in 2025 are your
boundaries and standards. And if you need to work on
developing epic boundaries and standards, I support you.
For more information about boundaries, I've linked to those
books that I mentioned right here in the episode description
(17:52):
for you. And the standards are up to you.
You get to decide your standardsin life, high standards, low
standards, it's literally up to you.
And a lot of times it has to do with how we feel about
ourselves. And so hopefully you're feeling
amazing right now and you're going to up those standards.
(18:13):
The one thing more powerful thana cord cutting ritual like the
one we just did is your personalpower when it comes to deciding
what are your standards, who areyou spending time with?
Who are you going to let into your life?
So high standards? Choose wisely, protect your
energy, and know that when it comes to a relationship, you can
(18:36):
always cut somebody off. No matter how in deep you get
with somebody, you can cut it off, whether it's blocking them
on your phone, getting a divorce, or cutting the cord in
a meditation like this one. And I say that as someone who
has gone through a divorce. We'll talk more about that maybe
in another episode That completes our episode.
(18:59):
If the content today felt true for you, please leave a rating
and review on Apple Podcasts. It really helps people find the
podcast. And so follow the podcast today
and keep exploring your favoriteways to dissolve fear and make
room for your best life to unfold in fun and miraculous
ways. Believe in yourself, take care
(19:21):
of yourself, and thank you for being here.
Welcome to the Dissolving Fear podcast if you have big dreams
and plans but you get distractedby fear and doubt.
TuneIn because we can all live amore fearless and free life
starting today. Fear doesn't run the show you
do. And fear doesn't run this show.
(00:29):
I'm your host, Alyssa, and the mission here is a world where
fear doesn't control us. I'm here to share stories,
proven tools, and inspiring guest interviews so that you can
keep up your forward momentum inlife without getting dragged
down by anxiety or adversity. Follow this podcast.
You'll love the results. Loving life is what we're all
(00:51):
about here on the podcast and atmissalyssa.com.
Enjoy the show. So today I'm just going to talk
a little bit about boundaries, standards and cutting the cord,
which is kind of the ultimate boundary.
Cord cutting is basically like cutting yourself off from
somebody after you've been involved.
(01:13):
And it's easy. It can happen to anybody, right?
Like, we have high standards andwe have boundaries, but then
something still happens and we get attached to somebody
emotionally and it's hard to letgo.
So we'll wrap up the episode with a guided visualization for
actually cutting the cord to anything that's not serving you.
(01:34):
Maybe you're preoccupied with comparing yourself to others and
it's a habit and you need to cutit off.
Maybe you're still attached to an ex lover or a friend you've
outgrown. Or maybe you still feel
obligated to go to your mother in law's every Sunday night for
a dinner that's super uncomfortable or judgmental.
Well, I have a feeling that you might be taking a break from any
(01:57):
lame Sunday dinners when you're done with this episode.
Anybody you still feel attached to, you can cut the cord.
I'm fine with that if you want to blame it on the podcast for
skipping Sunday dinner for a while.
So you guys, standards are so important because if we have
good standards, high standards, then we don't need as many
(02:19):
boundaries and we don't need to explain to people, OK, this,
these are my expectations. This is what I accept.
This is what I don't tolerate. If you can initially have high
standards with the people that you let into your life, they're
going to match your energy. You're going to align with the
people and the rest, you're going to just release them and
(02:39):
let them go before they even gettoo involved.
It's kind of like fishing, catchand release.
Tons of fish are going to come your way, especially with
dating. There's lots of fish in the sea.
And I always say when it comes to finding somebody, sometimes
the odds are good, but the goodsare odd, right?
You have all these fish in the sea and you're not going to just
(03:01):
take whatever fish life throws your way.
You're going to let the smelly ones go immediately, right?
I'm picturing you down at Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, WA
and somebody keeps tossing you afish every minute or so and you
get to decide if the fish gets aspecial spot in your cooler of
(03:21):
ice and it gets to go home with you.
OK, you might get into a job that you thought was going to
last a long time and it turns out it's lame, it's toxic.
This is a good time for catch and release.
OK, I caught a job, I thought itwas going to be awesome.
It's not and it's time to let itgo before it stresses you out or
(03:42):
crushes your spirit or affects your self esteem.
Same with guys, they're going tocome into your life or girls
lovers. You catch some and you let some
go immediately. This is where your standards
help you out. Your standards help out with the
catch and release. Sometimes we're not ready for
(04:03):
change because we just got the job right?
But then it's time to brush up your resume and look for another
one. Catch and release.
The more you make letting go a part of your focus, a part of
your life, the less scary it will seem.
Even if you meet somebody who seems like the love of your life
and months go by before you start noticing red flags and
(04:27):
you're a little invested emotionally in the relationship
at this point. Catch and release.
It is still better to cut ties when you realize someone needs
to go rather than waiting. So high standards OK and the
moment something doesn't feel right and doesn't seem up to par
(04:49):
up to your standards, let it go.We can't control who we cross
paths with and all the fish thatget thrown at us, but we can
control how long we spend with the people we cross paths with
and how much time we spend on certain people, certain jobs,
and even the habits that we have.
(05:12):
Having these high standards whenit comes to everything about
you, your thoughts, your words, your actions, your high
standards will protect you. So those are the high standards.
Catch and release. Release what's not working now
with boundaries, I think of my kids, OK, no matter what my
standards are, I get the kids that I get and then I have to
(05:36):
teach them boundaries. So family members, sometimes our
children, definitely they require boundaries because we
can't just kick them out of our lives and a lot of us wouldn't
want to. My kids are 9 and 13 and I'm a
full time high school special Edteacher, so I know a lot about
boundaries with students and my own children.
(05:59):
There are actually a ton of great books about boundaries by
Doctor Henry Cloud and Doctor John Townsend, and their most
popular book is called Boundaries.
And they also have a good book called Boundaries with Kids.
They have a book about boundaries in dating, boundaries
in marriage, and even with teens.
So they have a lot of books for sale.
(06:21):
And we don't just need our standards in place, but we also
need to have a sense of what boundaries are, especially with
kids. We can't just let them stay up
all night or stop showering for a week.
Kids need limits and boundaries on their screen time, on their
spending, and we need to teach them that their decisions have
(06:42):
consequences. So healthy boundaries help
children grow. And in my opinion, healthy
boundaries help healthy relationships grow.
It's not about telling somebody else what to do, because I'd
never expect people to change according to my preferences, but
it's just about letting somebodyknow these are my preferences.
(07:02):
This is how I live my life. Brené Brown, if you've heard of
her, she is a great author. She wrote the book Atlas of the
Heart, and it's all about emotions, but she also talks
about boundaries. So if you wanted to look up
Brené Brown and boundaries, you probably already know her.
I think her haircuts are super cute.
She always looks so cute. And she's a professor, I think,
(07:25):
at Stanford University. She's a researcher.
She's probably a millionaire author by now.
And her take on boundaries is simple.
Boundaries is like where you endand another person's life
begins. So this is what I'm allowing in
my life. And if you want to be a part of
it, great. If it's if it's a good match,
(07:46):
great. So you're not telling somebody
else what to do. You're just telling somebody
else what your expectations are.So I tell my kids, when you're
at my house, I expect you to keep your room clean or I expect
you to go to bed on time. Giving kids limits and
boundaries and telling them what's okay and what's not okay,
(08:08):
it actually helps them feel super safe.
I used to teach at an elementaryschool and kids are always
testing the limits, right? But they want to know that you
care enough to set a boundary and especially with like
romantic relationships, care enough about yourself to set a
boundary, right? Personally, I've never cheated
on anyone or been cheated on that I know of.
(08:31):
But personally, if I like somebody, that's the
conversation that I bring up early on in a relationship
because my personal boundary is one and done.
Like if I would ever get cheatedon, they would not be getting a
second chance. And the last thing I'll say is
with boundaries, it really helpsto keep your boundaries and
(08:52):
limits in place because your kids will test your limits.
Lots of people, even lovers, will test your limits and see if
you really mean what you say andsay what you mean.
And so I think once you give in one time, it's really hard to
set those boundaries back up in place.
(09:14):
So finally, let's move into the cord cutting, visualization
meditation. I love cord cutting because it's
a tool for healing and moving forward past a relationship
that's draining you or past a situation that's draining you.
Even if it's over and done with the relationship, the situation,
(09:34):
if it's still impacting you in some way and you're thinking
about it and you're feeling emotionally tied to a person, it
helps to do a cord cutting meditation.
Also with Co parenting relationships, sometimes you're
still seeing your acts on a regular basis.
So whenever a relationship ends and you're still preoccupied
(09:57):
with it or you're still seeing the person or even allowing them
to message you, if it's drainingyou, if it's on your mind, it's
probably impacting how you look at yourself, how you feel about
yourself, how you think about your future, and it's probably
even affecting your behavior with other people.
(10:19):
So if you can think of a person who's affecting you or a
situation or even a habit it's been hard to let go of, then you
know it's time for a cord cutting.
And if you don't feel any different after this cord
cutting meditation, don't worry.Sometimes you want to do it a
few times so you can save this episode and of course follow the
(10:40):
podcast and come back to the meditation any time.
I'm also going to make a separate episode with just the
cord cutting meditation so that it's the go to and it's a
shorter helpful episode for you.So let's cut the cord and let go
and free yourself of an old influence from the past.
(11:02):
If you've had a breakup or you're still replaying a
situation in your head, a loss that you've had, if you're still
thinking about it and it's affecting your feelings or if
you're holding on to resentment,let's release it right now.
Let's dive into a cord cutting meditation.
(11:26):
If you're doing this practice with me right now, I highly
recommend a nice cleansing Epsomsalt bath before bed tonight
after the practice. Cord cutting is all about you
and grounding into your energy and letting go of attachments in
a peaceful way. So we're not waging war against
(11:50):
your ex or anything. If you want to cut the cord that
you have with your ex and cut the connection, it's not about
them being a bad person. It's just about you and having
closure so that you feel more grounded in your energy and more
connected to yourself and less stuck on somebody else and
(12:10):
connected to them. So sit or lie down, breathing
down into your belly, expanding your breath into your belly.
Every inhalation you're inhalinginto your belly, letting your
body expand, letting your body take up space and claim your
(12:33):
power. Inhaling, feeling bigger and
more powerful with every inhalation.
Now think of someone or something, an issue that you
feel distracted by, chained to, stuck to, hooked into.
(12:57):
Like you're a fish on a hook andyou can't quite wiggle free of
this unhealthy connection or obsession or distraction.
Maybe you feel hooked to a person or a substance.
Maybe you feel hooked on a fear about money, hooked on comparing
(13:19):
yourself to others. Whatever it is, imagine you're
swimming through a huge, vast ocean, a sea of possibility and
potential, and you're ready to let go of that hook in your
mouth. You're ready to cut that cord
that you're attached to and swimforward with more forward
(13:42):
momentum. So the first thing you need to
cut this cord, this fishing lineconnecting you to your past, is
a beautiful shiny golden sword. Feel your hand closing around
(14:07):
the sword. Grab the sword, and as soon as
you do, lift it up and slice through that cord.
Slice through that connection towhatever you're done with.
As soon as you slice that cord, that fishing line, the hook
(14:30):
dissolves into the water like the hook was never in your mouth
in the 1st place. You can smile.
You can breathe, you can do whatever you want.
You are free, and you swim off into that vast sea of potential.
(14:54):
Nothing holding you back. Whatever was distracting you or
weighing you down is gone. It's floating out to sea and you
don't really need to know where it's headed.
Let it go, because now you feel lighter and happier and ready
(15:21):
for the new year ahead. Take a deep breath.
Come up to the surface of the ocean.
Look at the sun. Feel the fresh air on your face.
Know that you are free and untethered as you move into the
year ahead. It is perfectly normal.
(15:41):
If you feel like you need to do this practice again sometime,
especially if something new comes up and you want to repeat
this visualization and meditation and cut the cord to
something else, revisit this practice anytime.
(16:01):
I recommend cutting the cords one at a time and so cutting the
cord to one person and then maybe later in the day visit
this practice and cut the cord to the next thing and the next
thing. And the last thing I'll say is
listen, you have come too far togo back to whatever was tying
(16:26):
you down. If you start thinking about
going back to that person, that X, that hook in your mouth, it
is not what you truly want. So whatever it takes for you,
promise me that when you think about going back, you pause and
take a few deep breaths. Just give yourself a little
(16:48):
pause before taking action or making decisions.
Because sometimes we're thinkingabout, you know, that beer and
before we're done thinking aboutit, we're out the door to the
bar, right? Or we're thinking about that X
and before we take a breath and pause, we're texting the X,
right? You just cut the cord to a very
(17:10):
stuck situation and now you are unstuck.
So practice the pause because you don't want to jump back into
the same sticky glue. So give yourself some grace and
a little space to stop and thinkbefore you head back to
something that you already just let go of.
(17:32):
You don't need to go back. You don't need to hold on.
The only thing that you should hold on to in 2025 are your
boundaries and standards. And if you need to work on
developing epic boundaries and standards, I support you.
For more information about boundaries, I've linked to those
books that I mentioned right here in the episode description
(17:52):
for you. And the standards are up to you.
You get to decide your standardsin life, high standards, low
standards, it's literally up to you.
And a lot of times it has to do with how we feel about
ourselves. And so hopefully you're feeling
amazing right now and you're going to up those standards.
(18:13):
The one thing more powerful thana cord cutting ritual like the
one we just did is your personalpower when it comes to deciding
what are your standards, who areyou spending time with?
Who are you going to let into your life?
So high standards? Choose wisely, protect your
energy, and know that when it comes to a relationship, you can
(18:36):
always cut somebody off. No matter how in deep you get
with somebody, you can cut it off, whether it's blocking them
on your phone, getting a divorce, or cutting the cord in
a meditation like this one. And I say that as someone who
has gone through a divorce. We'll talk more about that maybe
in another episode That completes our episode.
(18:59):
If the content today felt true for you, please leave a rating
and review on Apple Podcasts. It really helps people find the
podcast. And so follow the podcast today
and keep exploring your favoriteways to dissolve fear and make
room for your best life to unfold in fun and miraculous
ways. Believe in yourself, take care
(19:21):
of yourself, and thank you for being here.
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