February 27, 2025 • 10 mins
SHOW #78! Season 3, Episode 9: Welcome to the disSOLViNG fear podcast! Find coaching, free resources, our monthly newsletter community and more at missalissa.com
IN THIS EPISODE I talk about deciding when something is a "yes" for you, versus a "no" and how to do what's right for you without letting other people influence your decisions.
Let others have their own journey, goals, and opinions. You can have yours, and pursue everything that's true for you in the new year!
Share this episode with anyone in your life who could benefit from shifting their focus from what other people think, say and do… and start focusing on one simple question:
“Who am I becoming and what do I want to do in the days ahead?”
If you like this episode, you'll love my 15 minute episode all about making a vision board and manifesting your desires in the new year. Here are some handy links to that "vision boarding" episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or iHeartRadio for you!
Thank you for being HERE at disSOLViNG fear.
Fear doesn't run the show, YOU do!
Much Love, Alissa
Visit missalissa.com to join the free newsletter community, book a 1:1 coaching call, and explore awesome ways to create your best life!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Dissolving Fear podcast, where anxiety doesn't
run the show you do. I'm your host, Alyssa, and I'm
exploring ways that we can all grow stronger than our fear.
I've been a resilience coach forover a decade and a Kapala yoga
teacher for almost 20 years. And I just love sharing tools
and practices and inspirational interviews so that you can
(00:23):
dissolve your fear and evolve asa person.
So if you're ready to embrace your talents, dreams, and
desires and just live a life that is more fun and less
stressful, TuneIn, nurture yourself and let's maximize our
potential and enjoy life. Loving life is what we're all
about here on the podcast and atmissalyssa.com.
(00:45):
Enjoy the show. So today's title is you do you.
Let them do them. And I feel like this could mean
so many things depending on how you interpret it.
So another title could have beenNot My Circus, Not My Monkeys,
(01:10):
How to focus on your own stuff and successfully navigate life
toward what you want. So like not my circus, not my
monkeys. I also feel something that I
always rely on is the serenity prayer.
And you don't have to be religious to enjoy the serenity
prayer. The serenity prayer is not even
(01:30):
from the Bible. Some guy invented it.
I feel like a a Alcoholics Anonymous uses it a lot.
Maybe the person who invented itwas part of AAI.
Have to do my research on that one.
But the serenity prayer is definitely not from the Bible,
but what it says is God grant methe serenity to accept the
(01:51):
things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I
can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
So we're just going to run through the you do, you, let
them do them episode topic today.
And I'm doing it kind of unscripted improv style.
(02:12):
Usually I write out that podcastepisode, but I thought we would
just touch on it a little bit today.
I put a link in this episode description to my vision
boarding episode, which was a couple of years ago.
I just figured rather than creating a whole new episode
about how to make a vision board, I would just put a link
in this episode so that if you want to focus on your dreams for
(02:34):
2025, what you're manifesting, what you envision, you can click
on the vision board episode and you can get right down to it.
Let you do you focus on your passions, preferences, dreams
and desires. And one way to do it is with the
(02:54):
vision board. I feel like this is like a
vision boarding commercial rightsmack in the middle of the
episode. But anyway, it's part of the
whole you do you and focus on what you want and need and let
other people live their lives. Right.
So I got thinking about you do you because sometimes we say it
(03:15):
like in a mean way. Oh, OK, Whatever you do, you go
do your thing. But really, we have to let
people do what's best for them and we have to do what's best
for us. I recently had like a hip and
back injury where I fell and I tore my hip labrum and I had
(03:35):
like some disc issues in my back.
And so I have like, limitations and I need to do what's best for
me. So one thing I love about
knowing what's best for you and doing what's best for you and
having boundaries and limits andstandards.
One thing I love is that no is acomplete sentence, right?
(03:58):
No, that doesn't work for me. No, that's not going to work for
my health situation, for my backright now.
I was on an epic hike about a month ago and it was so awesome
and but it was muddy and a little bit icy on the hike.
And we were supposed to get to awaterfall, but I could not keep
(04:19):
up And I couldn't make it to thefinal destination waterfall
because my hip was hurting me, my back was hurting.
And so I had to say like, no, I cannot go any further.
It's cold out, it's a little muddy and icy and that uneven
hiking surface was just like irritating my back.
And so I had to say no, I can't do it.
(04:43):
And so no is a complete sentence.
Whatever you don't want to do, you do not have to.
You are in control of your own thoughts, words and actions.
So you do you. What do you want to think about
on the day-to-day basis? What do you want to talk about
(05:05):
and what do you like to do? And so if you're starting a
vision board, that's what the vision board is all about
focusing on. Like, what do you like to think
about in your spare time when you're daydreaming?
What do you like to talk about? What kind of goals do you like
to plan for and run by people and talk about?
And what do you like to do? Put it on your vision board.
(05:26):
Anyway, I don't want to get intovision boarding too much, but
you do you. For 2025, focus on what you
want. Now, this is an interesting
thing when we have to let other people do what they're going to
do, let them do them. It's interesting because when
(05:50):
you start doing what you want todo and exactly what you want to
do and going for your goals and dreams and focusing there, some
people will come in and tell youit's not possible.
You're dreaming too big. Oh, I tried that and it didn't
work. And so oftentimes, let them do
(06:13):
them means let them talk right? Like, let them doubt you.
Let them tell you their opinion,their unsolicited opinion.
Let them give you advice and letthem live their lives, but also
like, let what they say kind of in one ear and out the other.
(06:33):
And some people who give you advice on what your goals are,
what your dreams are, They mean well, like they might be your
best friend. I remember last year my very
best friend at work told me, oh,you don't need to apply for this
student loan forgiveness. You won't get it.
My husband didn't get it. You know, no offense, but I
(06:56):
really don't think it's going tobe worth your time.
And I just let her tell me her advice.
And then I applied because who doesn't want $20,000 of loan
forgiveness? And that's exactly what I got.
And so even though she was telling me like this might not
pan out, my husband didn't get the loan forgiveness.
(07:18):
I just went for it. I let her give me the advice and
then I did what I wanted to anyway.
I did it anyway, right? Like let them tell you the way
to do something, the best way, and then do what you want.
Do it your way. You do you.
(07:43):
Let them do them. If you haven't focused on what
you want to do and B and have anexperience in 2025, I highly
recommend check out the vision boarding episode Make a Vision
Board. I tried to make one in Canva and
I was not very good at it. I just didn't like it.
I prefer to collect magazines and leaf through pictures and do
(08:07):
it like the old fashioned way. But there's many ways to do it
and it's all right there in the episode for you to learn about.
But you do you in 2025, what do you want to focus on?
And when it comes to like interacting with other people,
like, of course it's fun to socialize.
Of course it's great to get input from other people because
(08:29):
people have like amazing ideas and collaboration is key, right?
But ultimately you decide what to say no to and you decide what
is a yes. And as I like to say, if it's
not a hell yes, sometimes it's ahell no.
So my friend at work came up to me and she's like, don't bother
(08:51):
applying for loan forgiveness. You probably won't get it.
And I wasn't feeling like hell Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'll just, I'll just forget about it.
I was feeling like hell no, I amnot listening.
I'm going to give it a shot, seeif I get it, see if I can get
out of debt and feel a little bit richer, right?
Like $20,000 richer. And it worked.
(09:12):
I got the loan forgiveness. So if you're not 100% in
agreement with somebody's adviceor with somebody's invitation to
go do something, if it's not a hell yes, it might be a hell no.
And you can stay focused on whatyou want and don't get too
distracted or derailed with whatother people think, say, and do.
(09:34):
Have an awesome week. You do you, let them do them.
I'm coming back in a couple of weeks with two interviews, 2
amazing interviews, and I'm going to try to make them more
improv, a little bit more unscripted, just like this
episode. So I hope that was fun for you,
and that is something to look forward to coming up.
(09:56):
So that completes our episode for today.
Thank you so much for being here.
If today's content felt true foryou, follow the podcast or leave
a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, especially if you like
the impromptu unscripted style of the podcast, leave a rating
and review. Let me know.
Maybe I'll make some of the interviews a little more casual
(10:18):
and unscripted in the future. And just remember, the mission
here is a world where fear doesn't control us.
We can feel it, heal it, and letgo to grow.
So have an amazing day, Fill it with tons of opportunities to
nurture yourself and maximize your potential.
And thank you for being here.
Welcome to the Dissolving Fear podcast, where anxiety doesn't
run the show you do. I'm your host, Alyssa, and I'm
exploring ways that we can all grow stronger than our fear.
I've been a resilience coach forover a decade and a Kapala yoga
teacher for almost 20 years. And I just love sharing tools
and practices and inspirational interviews so that you can
(00:23):
dissolve your fear and evolve asa person.
So if you're ready to embrace your talents, dreams, and
desires and just live a life that is more fun and less
stressful, TuneIn, nurture yourself and let's maximize our
potential and enjoy life. Loving life is what we're all
about here on the podcast and atmissalyssa.com.
(00:45):
Enjoy the show. So today's title is you do you.
Let them do them. And I feel like this could mean
so many things depending on how you interpret it.
So another title could have beenNot My Circus, Not My Monkeys,
(01:10):
How to focus on your own stuff and successfully navigate life
toward what you want. So like not my circus, not my
monkeys. I also feel something that I
always rely on is the serenity prayer.
And you don't have to be religious to enjoy the serenity
prayer. The serenity prayer is not even
(01:30):
from the Bible. Some guy invented it.
I feel like a a Alcoholics Anonymous uses it a lot.
Maybe the person who invented itwas part of AAI.
Have to do my research on that one.
But the serenity prayer is definitely not from the Bible,
but what it says is God grant methe serenity to accept the
(01:51):
things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I
can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
So we're just going to run through the you do, you, let
them do them episode topic today.
And I'm doing it kind of unscripted improv style.
(02:12):
Usually I write out that podcastepisode, but I thought we would
just touch on it a little bit today.
I put a link in this episode description to my vision
boarding episode, which was a couple of years ago.
I just figured rather than creating a whole new episode
about how to make a vision board, I would just put a link
in this episode so that if you want to focus on your dreams for
(02:34):
2025, what you're manifesting, what you envision, you can click
on the vision board episode and you can get right down to it.
Let you do you focus on your passions, preferences, dreams
and desires. And one way to do it is with the
(02:54):
vision board. I feel like this is like a
vision boarding commercial rightsmack in the middle of the
episode. But anyway, it's part of the
whole you do you and focus on what you want and need and let
other people live their lives. Right.
So I got thinking about you do you because sometimes we say it
(03:15):
like in a mean way. Oh, OK, Whatever you do, you go
do your thing. But really, we have to let
people do what's best for them and we have to do what's best
for us. I recently had like a hip and
back injury where I fell and I tore my hip labrum and I had
(03:35):
like some disc issues in my back.
And so I have like, limitations and I need to do what's best for
me. So one thing I love about
knowing what's best for you and doing what's best for you and
having boundaries and limits andstandards.
One thing I love is that no is acomplete sentence, right?
(03:58):
No, that doesn't work for me. No, that's not going to work for
my health situation, for my backright now.
I was on an epic hike about a month ago and it was so awesome
and but it was muddy and a little bit icy on the hike.
And we were supposed to get to awaterfall, but I could not keep
(04:19):
up And I couldn't make it to thefinal destination waterfall
because my hip was hurting me, my back was hurting.
And so I had to say like, no, I cannot go any further.
It's cold out, it's a little muddy and icy and that uneven
hiking surface was just like irritating my back.
And so I had to say no, I can't do it.
(04:43):
And so no is a complete sentence.
Whatever you don't want to do, you do not have to.
You are in control of your own thoughts, words and actions.
So you do you. What do you want to think about
on the day-to-day basis? What do you want to talk about
(05:05):
and what do you like to do? And so if you're starting a
vision board, that's what the vision board is all about
focusing on. Like, what do you like to think
about in your spare time when you're daydreaming?
What do you like to talk about? What kind of goals do you like
to plan for and run by people and talk about?
And what do you like to do? Put it on your vision board.
(05:26):
Anyway, I don't want to get intovision boarding too much, but
you do you. For 2025, focus on what you
want. Now, this is an interesting
thing when we have to let other people do what they're going to
do, let them do them. It's interesting because when
(05:50):
you start doing what you want todo and exactly what you want to
do and going for your goals and dreams and focusing there, some
people will come in and tell youit's not possible.
You're dreaming too big. Oh, I tried that and it didn't
work. And so oftentimes, let them do
(06:13):
them means let them talk right? Like, let them doubt you.
Let them tell you their opinion,their unsolicited opinion.
Let them give you advice and letthem live their lives, but also
like, let what they say kind of in one ear and out the other.
(06:33):
And some people who give you advice on what your goals are,
what your dreams are, They mean well, like they might be your
best friend. I remember last year my very
best friend at work told me, oh,you don't need to apply for this
student loan forgiveness. You won't get it.
My husband didn't get it. You know, no offense, but I
(06:56):
really don't think it's going tobe worth your time.
And I just let her tell me her advice.
And then I applied because who doesn't want $20,000 of loan
forgiveness? And that's exactly what I got.
And so even though she was telling me like this might not
pan out, my husband didn't get the loan forgiveness.
(07:18):
I just went for it. I let her give me the advice and
then I did what I wanted to anyway.
I did it anyway, right? Like let them tell you the way
to do something, the best way, and then do what you want.
Do it your way. You do you.
(07:43):
Let them do them. If you haven't focused on what
you want to do and B and have anexperience in 2025, I highly
recommend check out the vision boarding episode Make a Vision
Board. I tried to make one in Canva and
I was not very good at it. I just didn't like it.
I prefer to collect magazines and leaf through pictures and do
(08:07):
it like the old fashioned way. But there's many ways to do it
and it's all right there in the episode for you to learn about.
But you do you in 2025, what do you want to focus on?
And when it comes to like interacting with other people,
like, of course it's fun to socialize.
Of course it's great to get input from other people because
(08:29):
people have like amazing ideas and collaboration is key, right?
But ultimately you decide what to say no to and you decide what
is a yes. And as I like to say, if it's
not a hell yes, sometimes it's ahell no.
So my friend at work came up to me and she's like, don't bother
(08:51):
applying for loan forgiveness. You probably won't get it.
And I wasn't feeling like hell Yeah, that's a good idea.
I'll just, I'll just forget about it.
I was feeling like hell no, I amnot listening.
I'm going to give it a shot, seeif I get it, see if I can get
out of debt and feel a little bit richer, right?
Like $20,000 richer. And it worked.
(09:12):
I got the loan forgiveness. So if you're not 100% in
agreement with somebody's adviceor with somebody's invitation to
go do something, if it's not a hell yes, it might be a hell no.
And you can stay focused on whatyou want and don't get too
distracted or derailed with whatother people think, say, and do.
(09:34):
Have an awesome week. You do you, let them do them.
I'm coming back in a couple of weeks with two interviews, 2
amazing interviews, and I'm going to try to make them more
improv, a little bit more unscripted, just like this
episode. So I hope that was fun for you,
and that is something to look forward to coming up.
(09:56):
So that completes our episode for today.
Thank you so much for being here.
If today's content felt true foryou, follow the podcast or leave
a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, especially if you like
the impromptu unscripted style of the podcast, leave a rating
and review. Let me know.
Maybe I'll make some of the interviews a little more casual
(10:18):
and unscripted in the future. And just remember, the mission
here is a world where fear doesn't control us.
We can feel it, heal it, and letgo to grow.
So have an amazing day, Fill it with tons of opportunities to
nurture yourself and maximize your potential.
And thank you for being here.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com