The home you shared is often the most emotionally and financially complex asset to handle during divorce. With today's rising interest rates, many couples face agonizing decisions about what to do with property they purchased at historically low rates.
Bridget McGee, known as the Maryland Mortgage Mama, brings 24 years of mortgage expertise and specialized divorce lending certification to help you navigate these challenging waters. She reveals why consulting with a mortgage professional at the very beginning of your divorce process can save you thousands and prevent years of frustration.
Whether you're considering divorce, currently navigating one, or helping someone who is, this episode provides essential knowledge to protect your housing stability during this vulnerable transition. Don't make decisions about your home without understanding the mortgage implications that could affect you for years to come.
Contact The Maryland Mortgage Mama: www.swbcmortgage.com/bridget-mcgee
Visit jacobsonfamilylaw.com to learn more.
Visit jacobsonworkshop.com to learn more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Bridget McGee, (00:00):
so there were people that were going through,
you know, this kind of trainwreck that that so many are
dealing with, no matter whosedecision it is, and then now
they have to go from, maybe youknow, the home that they've been
in with their, with their kidsand their family, and the life
that they expected, and now, allof a sudden they have to rent a
(00:22):
you know a room in somebody'sbasement because they can't move
forward.
So you know, my goal is reallyto help people to run the
numbers, to figure out what'sgoing to make sense.
Intro/Close (00:35):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where Cary Jacobson
brings you real stories, hardtruths and practical advice on
navigating divorce and familylaw.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Cary Jacobson (00:57):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches, the podcast thatbrings real stories, expert
advice and practical tips fornavigating divorce with clarity,
strength and as little drama aspossible.
I'm your host, Cary Jacobson,and today we're talking about
something that can feeloverwhelming, especially for
those going through a divorcemortgages and home ownership.
(01:21):
Whether you're looking to buy anew home, refinance your
existing mortgage or justfiguring out what your options
are post-divorce, today's guestis going to clear those things
up.
Joining me today is BridgetMcGee, also known as the
Maryland Mortgage Mama.
Bridget brings more than 24years of experience in the
(01:42):
mortgage industry and she'shelped countless families
navigate the world of home loans.
She's not only an expert infirst-time home buying and
refinancing, but alsospecializes in divorce lending,
making sure you find the rightloan for your unique needs
during what can be such achallenging time.
Bridget is also a dedicatededucator, teaching homeowner
(02:05):
workshops and stress relieftools.
She's deeply involved in localand international communities.
Bridget, thank you so much forjoining me today.
Bridget McGee, (02:14):
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited.
Cary Jacobson (02:17):
So can you tell our listeners a little bit about
how your story started and whatled you to how your story
started and what led you tojoining the mortgage industry?
Bridget McGee, (02:26):
So actually, kind of it's a bit of a family
business.
It wasn't meant to be my wayback in 2000,.
Well, I did outside sales formany, many years and the three
(02:46):
of my siblings were all in themortgage business.
My brother had a company and mysister worked as his processor.
My other brother worked for himwhen he came home from Florida,
so we had you know, but I kindof kept doing my own thing.
Kind of kept doing my own thing.
(03:09):
And then 9-11 happened and Iwas selling industrial equipment
at the time, you know, streetsweepers and such, you know,
because that's what you do.
And I, you know, a lot of thecapital expenditures started to
go away and that kind of thing.
And my sister was working atthat time as a mortgage
processor, with her as with herown company, and she said, well,
I really need some help,because that time there was a
(03:30):
big refi boom happening and shetaught me line by line and
disclosure by disclosure how towork as a mortgage processor.
And then I had a baby and waslucky enough, blessed enough, to
be able to bring her to workwith me.
And as she got bigger, thebusiness partner said that a lot
(03:53):
, of, a lot of paperwork in herefor a nine month old to get
into.
And my brother, who had his owncompany at the time, said come
work with me.
So I was able to take her towork with him and we've been
working together.
Now my daughter is almost 20.
So for a long, long time we'vebeen working together and it's
been really good.
(04:15):
We both have differentstrengths he's an engineer by
education, I'm human resourcesby education and consumer
economics.
So it really fit.
Cary Jacobson (04:25):
Right, well, that's.
I always love to hear thosestories where it's not
intentional but it just works.
Bridget McGee, (04:32):
Yeah, I didn't grow up saying, hey, I want to
do mortgages.
I was going to be a teacher ora nurse and you know the you
know kind of the typical littlegirl thing in my era anyway,
typical little girl thing in myera anyway.
And you know, just to be ableto, to be able to do those
things and help people throughwhat can be a really challenging
time like divorce, and also beable to act as an educator, I
(04:56):
kind of ended up combining bothmy loves, so it worked out.
Cary Jacobson (04:59):
Absolutely Just, and I think I've talked with you
about this, but I also had asmall stint of being a mortgage
processor during the refinanceboom.
Um and yes, it was at theheight, you know, 20, 2004 or
what have you, and it was awhole different world.
(05:19):
Um, and then I got into somecommercial real estate for a
little bit and then decided,yeah, it's time to go back to
law school.
So I understand.
Bridget McGee, (05:30):
Yep absolutely.
Cary Jacobson (05:32):
Okay, so I alluded to it in the opening,
but you're known as the Marylandmortgage model.
What makes your approachdifferent from others in the
industry?
Bridget McGee, (05:44):
So I think that most of it is really just how I
approach things.
My goal is not to just churnthrough mortgages, just do the
paperwork and move on.
My goal is really to helppeople through and to make the
best decisions.
One of my realtors, years ago,had gone to a convention and
came back with something thatsaid realtor goddess or
(06:07):
something, a pin, and, and youknow it was.
So I went on the same websiteand I looked and I found loan
goddess, which I never reallyidentified with, and there was a
mortgage mama pin and this wasgosh, probably 2006.
This was gosh, probably 2006.
And I would meet with a realtorand or with a group of realtors
(06:28):
and one of them would say, hey,have you met the mortgage mama?
Have you met the mortgage mama?
I'm like there is something tothis and I just really adopted
it and kind of embraced it andit's memorable.
It's easy to find me online andyou know it's just it's it's
really about, you know,mortgages are not just about
sticks and bricks, it's not justabout the cash, it's.
(06:51):
You know these are real familiesthat are going through amazing
things and challenging thingsand if you don't come at it with
a sense of compassion, with asense of caring, then you know
it all comes down to just youknow who's got the lowest rate.
So I just really try to makesure that I am taking the best
(07:12):
care of my clients.
I'm working right now with thefourth family member of clients
that I worked with about 10years ago.
So you know it has worked tojust be who I am at heart and
and do the job that most of thetime I love.
Cary Jacobson (07:36):
So when we've got those clients who are going
through a divorce and constantlythe house is the one of the
biggest concerns, right, andobviously in this environment
where interest rates are stillhigh, it's challenging because
you know most of our clients arelocked into those really low
(07:57):
rates.
What are you doing with yourclients and helping them through
that process?
Bridget McGee, (08:04):
So I I became a certified divorce lending
professional, um, a couple ofyears ago because we were seeing
so many people that couldn'tget through the mortgage process
because of the way that theirtheir divorce decrees were
written.
Um, their separation agreementswere just, they just didn't
have the information that theyneeded to be able to allow us to
(08:28):
get through underwriting and beable to help people to move
forward and buy the home trainwreck that so many are dealing
with, no matter whose decisionit is.
(08:49):
And then now they have to gofrom, maybe you know, the home
that they've been in with theirkids and their family and the
life that they expected, and now, all of a sudden, they have to
rent, you know, a room insomebody's basement because they
can't move forward.
So you know, my goal is reallyto help people to to run the
numbers, to figure out what'sgoing to make sense.
You know when it when it's it'shard to let go of that.
(09:13):
Those 3% rates, you know.
But I think you know mostpeople you know when, when
they're working through this,they they need to make that
clean break and even thoughsometimes those decisions are
hard, sometimes you've got tolet go and kind of look at those
(09:34):
3% rates, almost as a gift anda time that they had at that
point, and then maybe also helpthem to work that into their
negotiation with their spouse,especially if the spouse was the
one who chose to leave that.
They now have another talkingpoint to say hey look, my
(09:54):
mortgage is going to go upbecause you made this decision
and I may or may not be able tohandle that payment based on the
way we've set up our life.
So how do we get through that?
Cary Jacobson (10:09):
Yeah, Are there specific steps people should
take when they're having thisconversation?
Like when would you recommendsomeone who is facing divorce
come talk to you about thepossibility of being qualified
for either a refinance orpurchasing something else?
Bridget McGee, (10:32):
So I think it really needs to be at the
beginning of the process andbecause a lot of times we have
to determine how they're settingup their spousal payments, how
they're going to set up theirmortgage payments, how they're
going to what child support isgoing to look like, that kind of
(10:52):
thing, and we need to know areyou going to be able to afford
to keep this house?
Because if you fight to keep thehouse because it's important to
you whether it's the status,whether it's the memories,
whether it's the memories,whether it's the, you know,
whatever, whatever the reason isthat you want to keep that
house, whether it's for a shortperiod of time or for forever,
(11:13):
you've got to know can you, canyou afford it?
Because you're not only payingthe principal, the interest, the
taxes, the insurance, the condodues or HOA dues.
There's also upkeep, there'salso maintenance, there's also,
you know, other things that youhave to consider that you really
want to take a look at, todetermine what are my next steps
(11:34):
and is this even realistic?
Do I, do I, should I fight forthe house?
Because if I fight for it andthen I can't afford it, I've now
wasted not only all of thattime but potentially all that
money.
You know, kind of fighting oversomething that is not going to
work in your best interest inthe future.
Cary Jacobson (11:53):
Yeah, absolutely so sooner the better, so you
know whether or not it's evensomething that's feasible.
Bridget McGee, (12:00):
Right.
Cary Jacobson (12:00):
Okay.
Bridget McGee, (12:02):
Yeah, and, and really I mean, if possible, if
both parties can can getpre-qualified.
You know you're not tied in bygetting pre-qualified, but at
least you know what you don'tknow through divorce is there's
(12:26):
so many unknowns and there's somany people in their ears
talking about oh well, I hadthis happen and this worked for
me.
And, um, and you know myattorney is a bulldog and
they're really going to makethis him pay or her pay or
whatever it is.
And you know they just need theinformation a lot of times and
it, you know it's, it's tryingto figure out where's the money,
where's the you know what are,what are the real costs
(12:50):
associated, and how do we, howdo we figure that out?
So you know that's.
I think the sooner the better,definitely makes sense and
really just trying to to to beable to help people through that
part, because you know itcaught, if you, if you're
working with an attorney, um,who is not necessarily a
collaborative like you, or youknow they they've gone to that
(13:12):
bulldog.
Well, that bulldog is notsomebody who you want to take
the time to cry over the losingthe house or or losing what you
thought your life was going tobe, because they're charging you
for every tear.
So you know, just having thatadditional information, having
(13:32):
those numbers in front of you soyou can really kind of have
something concrete, makes sense.
Cary Jacobson (13:39):
Yeah, so you mentioned earlier, when you were
kind of talking about yourjourney, about some of the
horror stories you've seen withthese agreements that prevent
people from being able topurchase a new home or refinance
.
Can you share a little bit moreabout those scenarios and how
(14:01):
those could potentially beaddressed or overcome?
Bridget McGee, (14:04):
Yeah, so I've seen many, many poorly written
divorce decrees and they're notpoorly written in the big
picture but when we're trying todo things like refinance or
cash out or, you know, do anequity buyout, some of those the
(14:26):
wording that is in thosedecrees really can cause way
more problems and have folkshave to go back into court or go
back to negotiations when theythought they were done that part
of it because there's so manyunknowns and again, people don't
know what they don't know.
(14:47):
Yeah, working withprofessionals is so important
Folks that really do care, thatreally want to not just stick it
to the other party and chargeyou as much as they can for as
long as they can, but people whoare really trying to help you
to work through things, so thatyou know it's never a win-win
(15:09):
Right, because everybody kind ofloses in the midst of divorce.
I'm married to a divorced manand have been for almost 34
years and 34 years later there'sstill challenges that come up
because of what he went throughwhen his.
Well, it doesn't matter, I'mnot going to tell his
information, but things that hewent through can still affect
(15:32):
you, even many, many, many yearslater.
So just really going throughagain.
Going through those numbers andmaking sure that things are
spelled out in the decree isreally, really important.
I just had one recently that itsaid that the husband was to buy
out the wife Right, that waspretty much the whole sentence.
(15:57):
They went to a mediator.
The mediator's job is to makesure all parties agree and signs
it off.
I'm sure you have way moreinformation on mediators than I
do, but unfortunately themediator that they went to
didn't say hey, you might wantto get an end date on this.
So you know he went and gaveher the money.
(16:20):
That was what she was owed, andnow she's still waiting for him
to do something with the house.
And we're now at a year and ahalf later.
She wants to be off thatmortgage, she wants to be off
that house, she and, and sothose things that those things
that become challenges as youmove forward are real can really
(16:46):
cause challenges inunderwriting, can really cause
challenges moving forward.
Another one that that we hadwas the way that the equity
buyout was calculated.
The appraisal came insignificantly lower than the
number that they had used fromZillow or Redfin or one of the
(17:07):
aggregators who, in theirdisclaimers, say that they can
be off 20% either way andunfortunately for them, their
house was worth a lot less.
But the way the decree waswritten, he was getting the
split of, you know, of thathigher number Right and she
didn't have the split of thehigher number because she
(17:28):
couldn't mortgage based on thatamount, because it wasn't the,
it wasn't the amount of the, ofthe actual appraised value of
that property that a lender canuse, right.
So that can be a challenge.
The child support is anotherthing that comes up and
sometimes folks will pay themortgage in lieu of child
(17:50):
support.
Well, it's about the same, soI'll just go ahead and pay the
mortgage.
Well, when you pay childsupport as a lender, I can count
that as income, as long as it'sconsistent and it's received
consistently.
When you pay the mortgage,that's no longer child support,
(18:10):
even if it's the exact samenumber.
So now I can't count that aschild support because that
spouse did not receive thatmoney.
So there's a lot of those kindsof things.
What happens after if you've gotseveral kids?
And let's say you've got twokids and one of them ages out?
The other one maybe, is muchyounger.
(18:32):
So maybe you've got a 10 yearold and a 17 year old.
Well, we can't count the childsupport unless it's continuing
for at least three years.
So if that's not written outspecifically once as to what
happens when that 17 year oldages out of child support, the
underwriter is going to assumethat that amount gets cut in
(18:53):
half.
The likelihood that it'sgetting cut in half is probably
slim, but it's the only thingthat they can go by.
Cary Jacobson (19:02):
Interesting because we normally wouldn't
calculate child support untilthe time that that next child
ages or that 17-year-old agesout Right.
Bridget McGee, (19:12):
So it may make sense to you know, get an
estimate that says you know,once this child, then the
minimum that this parent wouldget would be this amount of
money.
So that it's more specific, outof the divorce decree.
And unfortunately, the way thatthey calculated the equity in
(19:39):
the home said that they were tothat.
One paragraph said to that theywere to get an appraisal to get
the value of the home.
The next paragraph said thefinal value of the home would be
the amount of the mortgagedivided by two.
Right?
So he paid the mortgage down to$5,000 and tried to hand her a
(20:02):
check for $2,500 on a home thatwas worth significantly more
than that.
So not only did they have to goback to court, but they also
are working through malpracticeinsurance for the attorney who
missed that, those couple ofwords that would have made a
huge difference and that's youknow.
And it wasn't.
It wasn't done on purpose, itwasn't done out of malice.
(20:24):
It was maybe by the husband,but it certainly wasn't done on
purpose by the attorney.
They, you know, they wentthrough the decree but and were
very upset about the fact thatthat had gotten past them.
But you know, unfortunately theattorney and the attorney is no
(20:45):
, the husband's attorney is nolonger working with him.
So now they're going backthrough and everything else gets
delayed again.
So yeah, I mean there'sdefinitely things that can
challenge underwriting.
You know, as another example, Ihad clients that very amicable
(21:06):
split.
They were still very goodfriends.
They, you know, still had, theyhave kids together and they
have all of their in-laws thatthey had kind of grown up with.
So everybody is still veryfriendly.
Well, it got to a point wherethe money that was to be paid
out to them, to the spouse tobuy out the house, the equity
(21:29):
for the house they it was beingtransferred from retirement
funds, so it was from hisretirement to her retirement to
be able to equalize the, thepayment of what needed to be
done.
Well, all of a sudden, right aswe're getting ready to go to
(21:49):
closing, he's very upset andnon-communicative and just very
frustrated with the fact that ifhe has to take money out of his
retirement then he's going topay an early withdrawal penalty.
Cary Jacobson (22:03):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (22:04):
So we were able to renegotiate so that some of
the money came as an equitybuyout, some of it came as a as
a quadro or qualified domesticorder.
Thank you, I always get, Ialways like mix up the letters
and it doesn't work.
So, qualified domesticrelations order, so.
So when they're transferring it, there's no tax consequence
(22:28):
because it's retirement toretirement.
But you know so.
So, and it turned out that, youknow, when she called me and she
was so upset I don't know whyhe's being such a jerk I said,
well, did you ask him?
Silly question, right?
It sounds like that would makesense.
Well, she just got veryfrustrated and she said well, no
(22:48):
, I don't know why he's doingthis.
And I said, ok, well, maybe youcould just check with him and
find out.
This has been amicable all theway through.
Maybe there's a reason.
And he had he needed to payback a relative who had, who he
had borrowed money from, and sohe needed the cash to be able to
do that, and the quadro wasn'tgoing to work in that situation.
(23:09):
So we were able to readjust itand he went and find the quick
claim immediately.
So, you know, it's sometimesit's sometimes it's really
helping, kind of to be the I'mnot an official mediator, so you
know but working on both sidesto try to help folks through
this challenging time and, youknow, kind of facilitating that
(23:32):
communication.
Cary Jacobson (23:34):
And there is such a need for that, because we
don't necessarily know what'shappening, and if it is amicable
, then let's try to keep it thatway, right, which is?
Bridget McGee, (23:43):
why I appreciate what you guys do so
much by really trying.
You know, as your entirebusiness is built on doing that
and you know I mean it it reallycause it's hard, as as just a
human being, to hear the horrorstories, the fights that are
(24:05):
that are taking place with folkswho at one time loved each
other.
Cary Jacobson (24:09):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (24:10):
It's yeah so.
So thank you for for what youdo as a company.
Cary Jacobson (24:14):
Well, thank you very much.
But it does kind of go back toyour point that even though when
we're working with a couplethat may be amicable at the time
of the agreement, we do want toput in those safety blocks in
the agreement so that it doesn'tbecome an issue later.
Or that if communication breaksdown with them for some reason
(24:35):
in the future, that they do havesomething that they can enforce
or go back to you know toaddress if they need to.
We hope it never comes to that.
Bridget McGee, (24:47):
Right, they need to.
Cary Jacobson (24:47):
we hope it never comes to that right, but we want
that in there so that itprevents them from having those
issues in the future, becauseit's going to be more expensive
if it's vague you know, justsaying that someone's going to
buy out the other person withoutputting any sort of guard rails
on.
That just leaves it soopen-ended and makes it really
(25:07):
challenging because there's nolike recourse for that Right.
Bridget McGee, (25:11):
And you know, and I mean it, can it?
I?
I am not an attorney, I don'tplay one on TV, I don't want to
be an attorney.
I did not go into the mortgagebusiness so I could go back to
law school.
So you know my advice to folks.
The information that I provideis please take this information
back to your divorce party.
(25:33):
You know, you're the, the folksthat you are, um, that you are
working with, because they arethe tax professional, they're
the attorney, they're the youknow whatever what the financial
advisor a lot of times, um, who, whatever what the financial
advisor a lot of times, who?
Who.
Take it back to them so thatthey can then help you to
(25:54):
mitigate what could potentiallybe an issue.
And that's that's always.
Our goal is really to make itas smooth as possible.
Give the folks the informationthat they need so that they can
make the best decision and getthe best advice from the people
that they're working with.
Cary Jacobson (26:08):
Right, and I know that you mentioned earlier that
coming to you to begin with isideal to get the information,
but I know that we've workedtogether in the past that
sometimes what can be reallyhelpful for all of those
professionals that may belistening out there is putting
in the draft language and thenrunning it by you and making
(26:29):
sure that this is going to passmuster for the lending
professional for underwriting,before it gets so far that it
can't be undone.
Bridget McGee, (26:38):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I, you know I mean we asa certified divorce lending
professional, you know I gothrough.
I went through training.
There is training available allthe time.
There's lots of differentongoing training and then every
year I have to, I have to gothrough continuing education to
keep that CDLP active and alive.
(27:01):
And you know I mean this isit's not an inexpensive
certification to get, it's notan it's not an inexpensive
certification to keep, but it'sso important and has helped so
many clients to avoid thosechallenges.
Cary Jacobson (27:18):
Yeah, all right.
So we know that you work withmany first-time homebuyers.
For someone who may be startingfresh after divorce, you know,
maybe they never owned a home orthey're buying something on
their own for the first time,what advice would you give them
for qualifying for a mortgage ontheir own?
Bridget McGee, (27:41):
Well, I mean, one of the biggest challenges
that we see is credit.
So really monitoring yourcredit, making sure that if
there are joint accounts, thatyou're not just closing them
willy nilly, because that canaffect not only your the the
amount of credit that you have,but the mix of credit that you
(28:03):
have.
So so, really talking throughyour particular situation with
the lender and you know, give usall the dirt.
You know we don't need to hearyour whole story, we don't need
to hear what he said or she saidor whatever, but we do need to
know what are some of thechallenges that you're facing,
(28:24):
you know, if there is so,because we can a lot of times
take that information and beable to tell the story to the
underwriter, Right.
But you know, we've seen whereyou know, folks go through a
divorce.
Well, you know, maybe the onespouse has just become
self-employed and that nowchanges anything that they can
(28:46):
qualify for for a couple ofyears.
Yeah, so that may mean you haveto have a co-signer.
So do you have somebody in yourlife who would be willing to
take over that mortgage?
We actually had a father-in-lawco-sign with the
daughter-in-law because, youknow, she was newly licensed in
a helping profession that wasnot going to make her a ton of
(29:09):
money, and she had all of hisgrandkids Right, so you know,
and they loved this girl.
Cary Jacobson (29:15):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (29:16):
There was, and it was heartbreaking for them
when, when it didn't work, yeah,so he, he actually stepped in,
um, which is is just such abeautiful thing, um, you know,
because they didn't have illwill towards her and they wanted
to protect their grandchildrenin the midst of all of this and
(29:36):
do what was right by them, andso there's so many ways that we
can get through things.
So credit is definitely onemaking sure that the income that
you have is paid properly,things like the spousal support
and child support.
Again, one of the issues thatwe've seen is spouse A takes
(30:01):
money from their account andputs it in a joint account.
Spouse B takes the money out ofthe joint account and and does
and does whatever they do withit.
Well, now, all of a sudden,that money is not considered
income because you can't payyourself.
So the money has to go from anaccount that they have full
control over to an account thatthe other one has full control
(30:21):
over.
So you know it's making.
Again, it's making sure thatwe're able to meet the
guidelines, to figure out whatthe best way for you to be able
to move forward is going to beand how quickly you're going to
be able to move forward.
You know, because sometimesthere is.
You know we've got to be ableto see spousal support or child
(30:42):
support for a certain period oftime, depending on what type of
loan that you're getting Ifyou're at retirement age.
We're seeing a lot more.
I think you had done a podcaston gray divorce and you know,
just having you know, you've gotfolks that are at retirement
age.
Well, now you know, if they're,they're getting a big lump sum
of money out of the house.
What do you do with that?
(31:03):
Because now I'm not showingincome, I just have this big pot
of money, right?
So how do we, how do we writethat in the decree so it
actually is usable income?
How do we, how do we work withthe financial advisor to create
income out of assets that theyhave?
You know so.
So there's.
It's really again, it's justhaving that initial conversation
(31:26):
with a somebody, especially whois a divorce professional,
because that you know there are,there are things that that
lenders will do, not again, notout of malice, but because they
don't know what the rules areand they assume that it that an
equity buyout is the same as astraight refinance or it's the
(31:47):
same as a cash out refi?
It's not.
It's treated differently and wewant to make sure that if it
can be treated in a way that ismost beneficial to the client,
we want to be able to do that.
Cary Jacobson (32:00):
Absolutely, and I think those little nuances are
so important because it's notnecessarily even something that
would be in the decree right orin the agreement, that how
someone's going to pay alimonyor how they're going to pay
child support.
Bridget McGee, (32:15):
Right.
Cary Jacobson (32:15):
Talking to someone like you to understand
what the logistics need to be sothat it passes underwriting
Right.
Bridget McGee, (32:24):
Absolutely, it's really important.
Yep Right.
Cary Jacobson (32:25):
Absolutely, it's really important.
Yep, can you share one successstory that stands out to you
where you were able to helpsomeone really turn things
around?
You just kind of shared onewith regards to the
father-in-law, but is thereanything else that kind of
stands out to you as a successstory that you would like to
(32:45):
share?
Bridget McGee, (32:46):
Yeah, I think you know.
I mean I've mentioned a coupleof them with you know, being
able to read the decrees andavoid some things or being able
to help to facilitatecommunication when it's broken
down, you know those areimportant.
What I love is when I can.
You know, a lot of times,unfortunately, you know, I have
(33:08):
past clients that I helped thembuy a home together and now
they're divorcing.
So you know, but because theyknow me, like me and trust me,
I'm still able to work with bothspouses to be able to help them
to their best path.
And you know I'm not, I'm nottaking sides, um, you know we've
(33:31):
we've definitely had a couplethat I'm like, ooh, didn't
expect that one.
Um, you know, definitely, withsome challenges and things that
you didn't expect, um, and youknow, sometimes it can be hard
when you, when you hear thestory of what he or she did and
what caused the breakdown intheir marriage.
(33:52):
You know I try to keep asneutral as possible but again,
I'm a human being and you knowsome sometimes those things are
like, oh, I don't know that Ireally want to work with that
person from certain loansbecause of that.
But it really is just aboutworking with the spouses to the
(34:14):
best outcome for both of them,you know, and again, being able
to talk somebody through youknow, the one that I talked
about that the spouse had.
The wording was incorrect in the, in the um, in the decree, um,
she had called me and said youknow, something's weird this is.
(34:37):
You know, use your intuition.
If something feels weird, getin, get advice, get information
from the divorce professionalsso important.
Because he said, oh, we're justgoing to meet at a UPS and I'm
going to give you the money.
And I was like Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, that's not how this
works and you please don't signanything.
(34:58):
So even she actually didn't endup using me, um, she ended up
paying cash for the next houseand didn't even use me for the
mortgage Because, you know,obviously, she, you know cash is
king.
That's a good thing.
But I know she's actuallyalready referred me several
people because they are, becauseshe knows that I'm looking out
(35:22):
for their best interest and youknow, so I was able to.
I mean, she could have justtaken that money and just was
like, oh, I guess I screwed up,right, but because she had
called me to to ask thisquestion about how, what?
How's this normally work?
I was able to.
I was able to help to to makesure that she didn't make what
could have been a huge mistake.
Cary Jacobson (35:43):
Yeah, you sounds like you saved her a lot of
money in the long run.
Sounds like you saved her a lotof money in the long run.
Yeah absolutely Well.
Thank you so much, bridget, forbeing here and sharing your
wisdom and all of the practicaladvice you have given us today.
I know so many of our listenersfeel empowered after hearing
you and know at least that theyshould reach out to a lending
(36:06):
professional when it comes timefor them to refinance or buy out
their spouse or even purchase anew home.
Bridget McGee, (36:13):
Yep, and you don't have to be divorcing to
work with me.
We do it all.
Cary Jacobson (36:19):
For those who want to connect with Bridget or
learn more about the work thatshe does as the Maryland
Mortgage Mama, check out ourshow notes for details for her
contact information and, asalways, thank you for tuning in
to divorce diaries lessons fromthe trenches.
Don't forget to subscribe andleave us a review, and share
this episode with anyone whomight need a little extra help.
Bridget McGee, (36:40):
Thanks.
Intro/Close (36:41):
Cary, thanks for joining us today on this episode
of divorce diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
so there were people that were going through,
you know, this kind of trainwreck that that so many are
dealing with, no matter whosedecision it is, and then now
they have to go from, maybe youknow, the home that they've been
in with their, with their kidsand their family, and the life
that they expected, and now, allof a sudden they have to rent a
(00:22):
you know a room in somebody'sbasement because they can't move
forward.
So you know, my goal is reallyto help people to run the
numbers, to figure out what'sgoing to make sense.
Intro/Close (00:35):
Welcome to Divorce Diaries, where Cary Jacobson
brings you real stories, hardtruths and practical advice on
navigating divorce and familylaw.
Whether you're going through it, considering it or just curious
, this is your place for clarity, confidence and resilience.
Cary Jacobson (00:57):
Welcome back to Divorce Diaries Lessons from the
Trenches, the podcast thatbrings real stories, expert
advice and practical tips fornavigating divorce with clarity,
strength and as little drama aspossible.
I'm your host, Cary Jacobson,and today we're talking about
something that can feeloverwhelming, especially for
those going through a divorcemortgages and home ownership.
(01:21):
Whether you're looking to buy anew home, refinance your
existing mortgage or justfiguring out what your options
are post-divorce, today's guestis going to clear those things
up.
Joining me today is BridgetMcGee, also known as the
Maryland Mortgage Mama.
Bridget brings more than 24years of experience in the
(01:42):
mortgage industry and she'shelped countless families
navigate the world of home loans.
She's not only an expert infirst-time home buying and
refinancing, but alsospecializes in divorce lending,
making sure you find the rightloan for your unique needs
during what can be such achallenging time.
Bridget is also a dedicatededucator, teaching homeowner
(02:05):
workshops and stress relieftools.
She's deeply involved in localand international communities.
Bridget, thank you so much forjoining me today.
Bridget McGee, (02:14):
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited.
Cary Jacobson (02:17):
So can you tell our listeners a little bit about
how your story started and whatled you to how your story
started and what led you tojoining the mortgage industry?
Bridget McGee, (02:26):
So actually, kind of it's a bit of a family
business.
It wasn't meant to be my wayback in 2000,.
Well, I did outside sales formany, many years and the three
(02:46):
of my siblings were all in themortgage business.
My brother had a company and mysister worked as his processor.
My other brother worked for himwhen he came home from Florida,
so we had you know, but I kindof kept doing my own thing.
Kind of kept doing my own thing.
(03:09):
And then 9-11 happened and Iwas selling industrial equipment
at the time, you know, streetsweepers and such, you know,
because that's what you do.
And I, you know, a lot of thecapital expenditures started to
go away and that kind of thing.
And my sister was working atthat time as a mortgage
processor, with her as with herown company, and she said, well,
I really need some help,because that time there was a
(03:30):
big refi boom happening and shetaught me line by line and
disclosure by disclosure how towork as a mortgage processor.
And then I had a baby and waslucky enough, blessed enough, to
be able to bring her to workwith me.
And as she got bigger, thebusiness partner said that a lot
(03:53):
, of, a lot of paperwork in herefor a nine month old to get
into.
And my brother, who had his owncompany at the time, said come
work with me.
So I was able to take her towork with him and we've been
working together.
Now my daughter is almost 20.
So for a long, long time we'vebeen working together and it's
been really good.
(04:15):
We both have differentstrengths he's an engineer by
education, I'm human resourcesby education and consumer
economics.
So it really fit.
Cary Jacobson (04:25):
Right, well, that's.
I always love to hear thosestories where it's not
intentional but it just works.
Bridget McGee, (04:32):
Yeah, I didn't grow up saying, hey, I want to
do mortgages.
I was going to be a teacher ora nurse and you know the you
know kind of the typical littlegirl thing in my era anyway,
typical little girl thing in myera anyway.
And you know, just to be ableto, to be able to do those
things and help people throughwhat can be a really challenging
time like divorce, and also beable to act as an educator, I
(04:56):
kind of ended up combining bothmy loves, so it worked out.
Cary Jacobson (04:59):
Absolutely Just, and I think I've talked with you
about this, but I also had asmall stint of being a mortgage
processor during the refinanceboom.
Um and yes, it was at theheight, you know, 20, 2004 or
what have you, and it was awhole different world.
(05:19):
Um, and then I got into somecommercial real estate for a
little bit and then decided,yeah, it's time to go back to
law school.
So I understand.
Bridget McGee, (05:30):
Yep absolutely.
Cary Jacobson (05:32):
Okay, so I alluded to it in the opening,
but you're known as the Marylandmortgage model.
What makes your approachdifferent from others in the
industry?
Bridget McGee, (05:44):
So I think that most of it is really just how I
approach things.
My goal is not to just churnthrough mortgages, just do the
paperwork and move on.
My goal is really to helppeople through and to make the
best decisions.
One of my realtors, years ago,had gone to a convention and
came back with something thatsaid realtor goddess or
(06:07):
something, a pin, and, and youknow it was.
So I went on the same websiteand I looked and I found loan
goddess, which I never reallyidentified with, and there was a
mortgage mama pin and this wasgosh, probably 2006.
This was gosh, probably 2006.
And I would meet with a realtorand or with a group of realtors
(06:28):
and one of them would say, hey,have you met the mortgage mama?
Have you met the mortgage mama?
I'm like there is something tothis and I just really adopted
it and kind of embraced it andit's memorable.
It's easy to find me online andyou know it's just it's it's
really about, you know,mortgages are not just about
sticks and bricks, it's not justabout the cash, it's.
(06:51):
You know these are real familiesthat are going through amazing
things and challenging thingsand if you don't come at it with
a sense of compassion, with asense of caring, then you know
it all comes down to just youknow who's got the lowest rate.
So I just really try to makesure that I am taking the best
(07:12):
care of my clients.
I'm working right now with thefourth family member of clients
that I worked with about 10years ago.
So you know it has worked tojust be who I am at heart and
and do the job that most of thetime I love.
Cary Jacobson (07:36):
So when we've got those clients who are going
through a divorce and constantlythe house is the one of the
biggest concerns, right, andobviously in this environment
where interest rates are stillhigh, it's challenging because
you know most of our clients arelocked into those really low
(07:57):
rates.
What are you doing with yourclients and helping them through
that process?
Bridget McGee, (08:04):
So I I became a certified divorce lending
professional, um, a couple ofyears ago because we were seeing
so many people that couldn'tget through the mortgage process
because of the way that theirtheir divorce decrees were
written.
Um, their separation agreementswere just, they just didn't
have the information that theyneeded to be able to allow us to
(08:28):
get through underwriting and beable to help people to move
forward and buy the home trainwreck that so many are dealing
with, no matter whose decisionit is.
(08:49):
And then now they have to gofrom, maybe you know, the home
that they've been in with theirkids and their family and the
life that they expected, and now, all of a sudden, they have to
rent, you know, a room insomebody's basement because they
can't move forward.
So you know, my goal is reallyto help people to to run the
numbers, to figure out what'sgoing to make sense.
You know when it when it's it'shard to let go of that.
(09:13):
Those 3% rates, you know.
But I think you know mostpeople you know when, when
they're working through this,they they need to make that
clean break and even thoughsometimes those decisions are
hard, sometimes you've got tolet go and kind of look at those
(09:34):
3% rates, almost as a gift anda time that they had at that
point, and then maybe also helpthem to work that into their
negotiation with their spouse,especially if the spouse was the
one who chose to leave that.
They now have another talkingpoint to say hey look, my
(09:54):
mortgage is going to go upbecause you made this decision
and I may or may not be able tohandle that payment based on the
way we've set up our life.
So how do we get through that?
Cary Jacobson (10:09):
Yeah, Are there specific steps people should
take when they're having thisconversation?
Like when would you recommendsomeone who is facing divorce
come talk to you about thepossibility of being qualified
for either a refinance orpurchasing something else?
Bridget McGee, (10:32):
So I think it really needs to be at the
beginning of the process andbecause a lot of times we have
to determine how they're settingup their spousal payments, how
they're going to set up theirmortgage payments, how they're
going to what child support isgoing to look like, that kind of
(10:52):
thing, and we need to know areyou going to be able to afford
to keep this house?
Because if you fight to keep thehouse because it's important to
you whether it's the status,whether it's the memories,
whether it's the memories,whether it's the, you know,
whatever, whatever the reason isthat you want to keep that
house, whether it's for a shortperiod of time or for forever,
(11:13):
you've got to know can you, canyou afford it?
Because you're not only payingthe principal, the interest, the
taxes, the insurance, the condodues or HOA dues.
There's also upkeep, there'salso maintenance, there's also,
you know, other things that youhave to consider that you really
want to take a look at, todetermine what are my next steps
(11:34):
and is this even realistic?
Do I, do I, should I fight forthe house?
Because if I fight for it andthen I can't afford it, I've now
wasted not only all of thattime but potentially all that
money.
You know, kind of fighting oversomething that is not going to
work in your best interest inthe future.
Cary Jacobson (11:53):
Yeah, absolutely so sooner the better, so you
know whether or not it's evensomething that's feasible.
Bridget McGee, (12:00):
Right.
Cary Jacobson (12:00):
Okay.
Bridget McGee, (12:02):
Yeah, and, and really I mean, if possible, if
both parties can can getpre-qualified.
You know you're not tied in bygetting pre-qualified, but at
least you know what you don'tknow through divorce is there's
(12:26):
so many unknowns and there's somany people in their ears
talking about oh well, I hadthis happen and this worked for
me.
And, um, and you know myattorney is a bulldog and
they're really going to makethis him pay or her pay or
whatever it is.
And you know they just need theinformation a lot of times and
it, you know it's, it's tryingto figure out where's the money,
where's the you know what are,what are the real costs
(12:50):
associated, and how do we, howdo we figure that out?
So you know that's.
I think the sooner the better,definitely makes sense and
really just trying to to to beable to help people through that
part, because you know itcaught, if you, if you're
working with an attorney, um,who is not necessarily a
collaborative like you, or youknow they they've gone to that
(13:12):
bulldog.
Well, that bulldog is notsomebody who you want to take
the time to cry over the losingthe house or or losing what you
thought your life was going tobe, because they're charging you
for every tear.
So you know, just having thatadditional information, having
(13:32):
those numbers in front of you soyou can really kind of have
something concrete, makes sense.
Cary Jacobson (13:39):
Yeah, so you mentioned earlier, when you were
kind of talking about yourjourney, about some of the
horror stories you've seen withthese agreements that prevent
people from being able topurchase a new home or refinance
.
Can you share a little bit moreabout those scenarios and how
(14:01):
those could potentially beaddressed or overcome?
Bridget McGee, (14:04):
Yeah, so I've seen many, many poorly written
divorce decrees and they're notpoorly written in the big
picture but when we're trying todo things like refinance or
cash out or, you know, do anequity buyout, some of those the
(14:26):
wording that is in thosedecrees really can cause way
more problems and have folkshave to go back into court or go
back to negotiations when theythought they were done that part
of it because there's so manyunknowns and again, people don't
know what they don't know.
(14:47):
Yeah, working withprofessionals is so important
Folks that really do care, thatreally want to not just stick it
to the other party and chargeyou as much as they can for as
long as they can, but people whoare really trying to help you
to work through things, so thatyou know it's never a win-win
(15:09):
Right, because everybody kind ofloses in the midst of divorce.
I'm married to a divorced manand have been for almost 34
years and 34 years later there'sstill challenges that come up
because of what he went throughwhen his.
Well, it doesn't matter, I'mnot going to tell his
information, but things that hewent through can still affect
(15:32):
you, even many, many, many yearslater.
So just really going throughagain.
Going through those numbers andmaking sure that things are
spelled out in the decree isreally, really important.
I just had one recently that itsaid that the husband was to buy
out the wife Right, that waspretty much the whole sentence.
(15:57):
They went to a mediator.
The mediator's job is to makesure all parties agree and signs
it off.
I'm sure you have way moreinformation on mediators than I
do, but unfortunately themediator that they went to
didn't say hey, you might wantto get an end date on this.
So you know he went and gaveher the money.
(16:20):
That was what she was owed, andnow she's still waiting for him
to do something with the house.
And we're now at a year and ahalf later.
She wants to be off thatmortgage, she wants to be off
that house, she and, and sothose things that those things
that become challenges as youmove forward are real can really
(16:46):
cause challenges inunderwriting, can really cause
challenges moving forward.
Another one that that we hadwas the way that the equity
buyout was calculated.
The appraisal came insignificantly lower than the
number that they had used fromZillow or Redfin or one of the
(17:07):
aggregators who, in theirdisclaimers, say that they can
be off 20% either way andunfortunately for them, their
house was worth a lot less.
But the way the decree waswritten, he was getting the
split of, you know, of thathigher number Right and she
didn't have the split of thehigher number because she
(17:28):
couldn't mortgage based on thatamount, because it wasn't the,
it wasn't the amount of the, ofthe actual appraised value of
that property that a lender canuse, right.
So that can be a challenge.
The child support is anotherthing that comes up and
sometimes folks will pay themortgage in lieu of child
(17:50):
support.
Well, it's about the same, soI'll just go ahead and pay the
mortgage.
Well, when you pay childsupport as a lender, I can count
that as income, as long as it'sconsistent and it's received
consistently.
When you pay the mortgage,that's no longer child support,
(18:10):
even if it's the exact samenumber.
So now I can't count that aschild support because that
spouse did not receive thatmoney.
So there's a lot of those kindsof things.
What happens after if you've gotseveral kids?
And let's say you've got twokids and one of them ages out?
The other one maybe, is muchyounger.
(18:32):
So maybe you've got a 10 yearold and a 17 year old.
Well, we can't count the childsupport unless it's continuing
for at least three years.
So if that's not written outspecifically once as to what
happens when that 17 year oldages out of child support, the
underwriter is going to assumethat that amount gets cut in
(18:53):
half.
The likelihood that it'sgetting cut in half is probably
slim, but it's the only thingthat they can go by.
Cary Jacobson (19:02):
Interesting because we normally wouldn't
calculate child support untilthe time that that next child
ages or that 17-year-old agesout Right.
Bridget McGee, (19:12):
So it may make sense to you know, get an
estimate that says you know,once this child, then the
minimum that this parent wouldget would be this amount of
money.
So that it's more specific, outof the divorce decree.
And unfortunately, the way thatthey calculated the equity in
(19:39):
the home said that they were tothat.
One paragraph said to that theywere to get an appraisal to get
the value of the home.
The next paragraph said thefinal value of the home would be
the amount of the mortgagedivided by two.
Right?
So he paid the mortgage down to$5,000 and tried to hand her a
(20:02):
check for $2,500 on a home thatwas worth significantly more
than that.
So not only did they have to goback to court, but they also
are working through malpracticeinsurance for the attorney who
missed that, those couple ofwords that would have made a
huge difference and that's youknow.
And it wasn't.
It wasn't done on purpose, itwasn't done out of malice.
(20:24):
It was maybe by the husband,but it certainly wasn't done on
purpose by the attorney.
They, you know, they wentthrough the decree but and were
very upset about the fact thatthat had gotten past them.
But you know, unfortunately theattorney and the attorney is no
(20:45):
, the husband's attorney is nolonger working with him.
So now they're going backthrough and everything else gets
delayed again.
So yeah, I mean there'sdefinitely things that can
challenge underwriting.
You know, as another example, Ihad clients that very amicable
(21:06):
split.
They were still very goodfriends.
They, you know, still had, theyhave kids together and they
have all of their in-laws thatthey had kind of grown up with.
So everybody is still veryfriendly.
Well, it got to a point wherethe money that was to be paid
out to them, to the spouse tobuy out the house, the equity
(21:29):
for the house they it was beingtransferred from retirement
funds, so it was from hisretirement to her retirement to
be able to equalize the, thepayment of what needed to be
done.
Well, all of a sudden, right aswe're getting ready to go to
(21:49):
closing, he's very upset andnon-communicative and just very
frustrated with the fact that ifhe has to take money out of his
retirement then he's going topay an early withdrawal penalty.
Cary Jacobson (22:03):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (22:04):
So we were able to renegotiate so that some of
the money came as an equitybuyout, some of it came as a as
a quadro or qualified domesticorder.
Thank you, I always get, Ialways like mix up the letters
and it doesn't work.
So, qualified domesticrelations order, so.
So when they're transferring it, there's no tax consequence
(22:28):
because it's retirement toretirement.
But you know so.
So, and it turned out that, youknow, when she called me and she
was so upset I don't know whyhe's being such a jerk I said,
well, did you ask him?
Silly question, right?
It sounds like that would makesense.
Well, she just got veryfrustrated and she said well, no
(22:48):
, I don't know why he's doingthis.
And I said, ok, well, maybe youcould just check with him and
find out.
This has been amicable all theway through.
Maybe there's a reason.
And he had he needed to payback a relative who had, who he
had borrowed money from, and sohe needed the cash to be able to
do that, and the quadro wasn'tgoing to work in that situation.
(23:09):
So we were able to readjust itand he went and find the quick
claim immediately.
So, you know, it's sometimesit's sometimes it's really
helping, kind of to be the I'mnot an official mediator, so you
know but working on both sidesto try to help folks through
this challenging time and, youknow, kind of facilitating that
(23:32):
communication.
Cary Jacobson (23:34):
And there is such a need for that, because we
don't necessarily know what'shappening, and if it is amicable
, then let's try to keep it thatway, right, which is?
Bridget McGee, (23:43):
why I appreciate what you guys do so
much by really trying.
You know, as your entirebusiness is built on doing that
and you know I mean it it reallycause it's hard, as as just a
human being, to hear the horrorstories, the fights that are
(24:05):
that are taking place with folkswho at one time loved each
other.
Cary Jacobson (24:09):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (24:10):
It's yeah so.
So thank you for for what youdo as a company.
Cary Jacobson (24:14):
Well, thank you very much.
But it does kind of go back toyour point that even though when
we're working with a couplethat may be amicable at the time
of the agreement, we do want toput in those safety blocks in
the agreement so that it doesn'tbecome an issue later.
Or that if communication breaksdown with them for some reason
(24:35):
in the future, that they do havesomething that they can enforce
or go back to you know toaddress if they need to.
We hope it never comes to that.
Bridget McGee, (24:47):
Right, they need to.
Cary Jacobson (24:47):
we hope it never comes to that right, but we want
that in there so that itprevents them from having those
issues in the future, becauseit's going to be more expensive
if it's vague you know, justsaying that someone's going to
buy out the other person withoutputting any sort of guard rails
on.
That just leaves it soopen-ended and makes it really
(25:07):
challenging because there's nolike recourse for that Right.
Bridget McGee, (25:11):
And you know, and I mean it, can it?
I?
I am not an attorney, I don'tplay one on TV, I don't want to
be an attorney.
I did not go into the mortgagebusiness so I could go back to
law school.
So you know my advice to folks.
The information that I provideis please take this information
back to your divorce party.
(25:33):
You know, you're the, the folksthat you are, um, that you are
working with, because they arethe tax professional, they're
the attorney, they're the youknow whatever what the financial
advisor a lot of times, um, who, whatever what the financial
advisor a lot of times, who?
Who.
Take it back to them so thatthey can then help you to
(25:54):
mitigate what could potentiallybe an issue.
And that's that's always.
Our goal is really to make itas smooth as possible.
Give the folks the informationthat they need so that they can
make the best decision and getthe best advice from the people
that they're working with.
Cary Jacobson (26:08):
Right, and I know that you mentioned earlier that
coming to you to begin with isideal to get the information,
but I know that we've workedtogether in the past that
sometimes what can be reallyhelpful for all of those
professionals that may belistening out there is putting
in the draft language and thenrunning it by you and making
(26:29):
sure that this is going to passmuster for the lending
professional for underwriting,before it gets so far that it
can't be undone.
Bridget McGee, (26:38):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I, you know I mean we asa certified divorce lending
professional, you know I gothrough.
I went through training.
There is training available allthe time.
There's lots of differentongoing training and then every
year I have to, I have to gothrough continuing education to
keep that CDLP active and alive.
(27:01):
And you know I mean this isit's not an inexpensive
certification to get, it's notan it's not an inexpensive
certification to keep, but it'sso important and has helped so
many clients to avoid thosechallenges.
Cary Jacobson (27:18):
Yeah, all right.
So we know that you work withmany first-time homebuyers.
For someone who may be startingfresh after divorce, you know,
maybe they never owned a home orthey're buying something on
their own for the first time,what advice would you give them
for qualifying for a mortgage ontheir own?
Bridget McGee, (27:41):
Well, I mean, one of the biggest challenges
that we see is credit.
So really monitoring yourcredit, making sure that if
there are joint accounts, thatyou're not just closing them
willy nilly, because that canaffect not only your the the
amount of credit that you have,but the mix of credit that you
(28:03):
have.
So so, really talking throughyour particular situation with
the lender and you know, give usall the dirt.
You know we don't need to hearyour whole story, we don't need
to hear what he said or she saidor whatever, but we do need to
know what are some of thechallenges that you're facing,
(28:24):
you know, if there is so,because we can a lot of times
take that information and beable to tell the story to the
underwriter, Right.
But you know, we've seen whereyou know, folks go through a
divorce.
Well, you know, maybe the onespouse has just become
self-employed and that nowchanges anything that they can
(28:46):
qualify for for a couple ofyears.
Yeah, so that may mean you haveto have a co-signer.
So do you have somebody in yourlife who would be willing to
take over that mortgage?
We actually had a father-in-lawco-sign with the
daughter-in-law because, youknow, she was newly licensed in
a helping profession that wasnot going to make her a ton of
(29:09):
money, and she had all of hisgrandkids Right, so you know,
and they loved this girl.
Cary Jacobson (29:15):
Yeah.
Bridget McGee, (29:16):
There was, and it was heartbreaking for them
when, when it didn't work, yeah,so he, he actually stepped in,
um, which is is just such abeautiful thing, um, you know,
because they didn't have illwill towards her and they wanted
to protect their grandchildrenin the midst of all of this and
(29:36):
do what was right by them, andso there's so many ways that we
can get through things.
So credit is definitely onemaking sure that the income that
you have is paid properly,things like the spousal support
and child support.
Again, one of the issues thatwe've seen is spouse A takes
(30:01):
money from their account andputs it in a joint account.
Spouse B takes the money out ofthe joint account and and does
and does whatever they do withit.
Well, now, all of a sudden,that money is not considered
income because you can't payyourself.
So the money has to go from anaccount that they have full
control over to an account thatthe other one has full control
(30:21):
over.
So you know it's making.
Again, it's making sure thatwe're able to meet the
guidelines, to figure out whatthe best way for you to be able
to move forward is going to beand how quickly you're going to
be able to move forward.
You know, because sometimesthere is.
You know we've got to be ableto see spousal support or child
(30:42):
support for a certain period oftime, depending on what type of
loan that you're getting Ifyou're at retirement age.
We're seeing a lot more.
I think you had done a podcaston gray divorce and you know,
just having you know, you've gotfolks that are at retirement
age.
Well, now you know, if they're,they're getting a big lump sum
of money out of the house.
What do you do with that?
(31:03):
Because now I'm not showingincome, I just have this big pot
of money, right?
So how do we, how do we writethat in the decree so it
actually is usable income?
How do we, how do we work withthe financial advisor to create
income out of assets that theyhave?
You know so.
So there's.
It's really again, it's justhaving that initial conversation
(31:26):
with a somebody, especially whois a divorce professional,
because that you know there are,there are things that that
lenders will do, not again, notout of malice, but because they
don't know what the rules areand they assume that it that an
equity buyout is the same as astraight refinance or it's the
(31:47):
same as a cash out refi?
It's not.
It's treated differently and wewant to make sure that if it
can be treated in a way that ismost beneficial to the client,
we want to be able to do that.
Cary Jacobson (32:00):
Absolutely, and I think those little nuances are
so important because it's notnecessarily even something that
would be in the decree right orin the agreement, that how
someone's going to pay alimonyor how they're going to pay
child support.
Bridget McGee, (32:15):
Right.
Cary Jacobson (32:15):
Talking to someone like you to understand
what the logistics need to be sothat it passes underwriting
Right.
Bridget McGee, (32:24):
Absolutely, it's really important.
Yep Right.
Cary Jacobson (32:25):
Absolutely, it's really important.
Yep, can you share one successstory that stands out to you
where you were able to helpsomeone really turn things
around?
You just kind of shared onewith regards to the
father-in-law, but is thereanything else that kind of
stands out to you as a successstory that you would like to
(32:45):
share?
Bridget McGee, (32:46):
Yeah, I think you know.
I mean I've mentioned a coupleof them with you know, being
able to read the decrees andavoid some things or being able
to help to facilitatecommunication when it's broken
down, you know those areimportant.
What I love is when I can.
You know, a lot of times,unfortunately, you know, I have
(33:08):
past clients that I helped thembuy a home together and now
they're divorcing.
So you know, but because theyknow me, like me and trust me,
I'm still able to work with bothspouses to be able to help them
to their best path.
And you know I'm not, I'm nottaking sides, um, you know we've
(33:31):
we've definitely had a couplethat I'm like, ooh, didn't
expect that one.
Um, you know, definitely, withsome challenges and things that
you didn't expect, um, and youknow, sometimes it can be hard
when you, when you hear thestory of what he or she did and
what caused the breakdown intheir marriage.
(33:52):
You know I try to keep asneutral as possible but again,
I'm a human being and you knowsome sometimes those things are
like, oh, I don't know that Ireally want to work with that
person from certain loansbecause of that.
But it really is just aboutworking with the spouses to the
(34:14):
best outcome for both of them,you know, and again, being able
to talk somebody through youknow, the one that I talked
about that the spouse had.
The wording was incorrect in the, in the um, in the decree, um,
she had called me and said youknow, something's weird this is.
(34:37):
You know, use your intuition.
If something feels weird, getin, get advice, get information
from the divorce professionalsso important.
Because he said, oh, we're justgoing to meet at a UPS and I'm
going to give you the money.
And I was like Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, that's not how this
works and you please don't signanything.
(34:58):
So even she actually didn't endup using me, um, she ended up
paying cash for the next houseand didn't even use me for the
mortgage Because, you know,obviously, she, you know cash is
king.
That's a good thing.
But I know she's actuallyalready referred me several
people because they are, becauseshe knows that I'm looking out
(35:22):
for their best interest and youknow, so I was able to.
I mean, she could have justtaken that money and just was
like, oh, I guess I screwed up,right, but because she had
called me to to ask thisquestion about how, what?
How's this normally work?
I was able to.
I was able to help to to makesure that she didn't make what
could have been a huge mistake.
Cary Jacobson (35:43):
Yeah, you sounds like you saved her a lot of
money in the long run.
Sounds like you saved her a lotof money in the long run.
Yeah absolutely Well.
Thank you so much, bridget, forbeing here and sharing your
wisdom and all of the practicaladvice you have given us today.
I know so many of our listenersfeel empowered after hearing
you and know at least that theyshould reach out to a lending
(36:06):
professional when it comes timefor them to refinance or buy out
their spouse or even purchase anew home.
Bridget McGee, (36:13):
Yep, and you don't have to be divorcing to
work with me.
We do it all.
Cary Jacobson (36:19):
For those who want to connect with Bridget or
learn more about the work thatshe does as the Maryland
Mortgage Mama, check out ourshow notes for details for her
contact information and, asalways, thank you for tuning in
to divorce diaries lessons fromthe trenches.
Don't forget to subscribe andleave us a review, and share
this episode with anyone whomight need a little extra help.
Bridget McGee, (36:40):
Thanks.
Intro/Close (36:41):
Cary, thanks for joining us today on this episode
of divorce diaries.
Remember every journey isunique, but you don't have to
navigate it alone.
Visit jacobsonfamilylawcom orcall 443-726-4912 for support
and guidance.
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