October 31, 2024 • 30 mins
In today's episode, we revisit an insightful webinar on the college application process and the crucial importance of early preparation. Plus, I introduce my “match pyramid” framework to help students align their academics, values, and unique qualities with college priorities. Tune in for practical resources and tools to empower both parents and students on this exciting journey!
Discover the Secret Formula to Your Child's College Admissions Success: Visit Signet’s What Really Matters in College Admissions Course Today: https://course.signeteducation.com/form/
Access the Recording of the “Get Your Ducks in a Row” Webinar Here: https://signeteducation.com/events
Sign up to join our live coaching session and receive personalized insights!
- Students: https://forms.gle/cRyBSFP9tSEJnsVN6
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Access free resources and learn more about Sheila and her team at Signet Education at signeteducation.com or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheilaakbar/.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sheila Akbar (00:00):
And the college application is really not that
(00:01):
different, right? It's abouthelping your child figure out
who they are, doing that at thebest level that they can, and
finding colleges that reallywill resonate with what they
already have to offer.
(00:26):
Hey folks, welcome back to thepodcast. It is Halloween,
October 31 and I like to makethe very lame joke that tonight
is not just scary because it'sHalloween, it's because it's the
night before early applicationdeadlines. I know a lot of kids
are really stressed. Theirparents are also really
(00:50):
stressed, and that stress is, ofcourse, legitimate and real and
valid, and no matter when thesefolks started working on college
applications, whether theystarted in, you know, the
beginning of ninth grade or theyjust started two weeks ago,
regardless of when they started,there would still be stress
(01:11):
around this deadline, because itfeels like so much is riding on
these applications. So I don'twant to minimize that stress,
and I don't want to place anyblame on people who may be
feeling like, oh, I started toolate, or, you know, any of those
shame that starts to spiralright that doesn't actually help
us get the thing done, it justmakes us feel bad about
(01:32):
ourselves. So with that said,Today, I do want to talk about
getting an earlier start andgetting yourself organized so
that hopefully it's not sostressful the night before
deadlines, because you've got aplan. Things are done well in
advance. You know who to rely onwhen you need help, and all of
that. So today, I'm sharing withyou bits and pieces of a talk
(01:56):
that I gave last month ongetting your ducks in a row for
the college process. I'll letyou tune in now. Today we're
going to talk about what tothink about with your younger
children as they start toapproach the end of high school
and really starting to get intothe nuts and bolts of the
college process. There's a lotthat you can do ahead of time to
(02:17):
make that process lessstressful, a little simpler, and
to just feel more confidentmoving through it. I know that
there are just a ton ofquestions about this, and you're
hearing a lot of, you know,rumors, and there's
misinformation, and then thereare sensational headlines, and
it can get really easy to getcaught up in that and not be
(02:37):
able to see where your child isgoing to fit in in that
narrative, right? If they'renot, you know, some genius that
is destined for Harvard orStanford, well, what are our
other choices? What does thatprocess look like? Or maybe
they're just not interested, oryou're not interested in having
them go to a super competitive,rigorous like burnout trap of,
(03:00):
you know, the the superselective colleges, and that's
great, but what does that meanyou should focus on? And how do
you stay focused on the rightthings for your child based on
their goals, and not just doeverything that everybody else
is doing when they may havetotally different goals from
you? The main thing that I wantto be able to give you today is
a framework for understandingwhat really matters and what you
(03:22):
should be focused on. Like, howis, how are these decisions
being made of who gets in andwhy, so that you can sort of
rely on that at those momentswhere you're feeling like, oh
gosh, the Rumors are swirling. Idon't know who to believe, come
back to this framework, andit'll help you stay grounded on
what is actually going to makethe difference for your child.
So we call this, get your ducksin a row for college. There are
(03:44):
a lot of ducks, and they'regoing in all different ways, and
we don't really know which waywe should be going. But part of
this metaphor that I reallyliked is, you know, Mama, ducks,
gotta lead with some confidence.
And if you are feeling like, Idon't know what matters, I don't
think I can help you. I didn'tgo to college, or I didn't go to
that kind of college, or theprocess has changed so much
since any of us applied. It ishard to lead with confidence.
(04:07):
And you know, your children,they don't always want to listen
to parents, and they definitelydon't want to listen to a parent
that doesn't sound like theyknow what's going on, right? So
I want to give you some of thatconfidence today so that you can
lead your ducks in the rightdirection. You know, I talk to
parents all day long, andusually they fall into one of
these categories, or or multipleof them. When we're talking
(04:29):
about the college process,either they feel like they're
sure that they miss something,there's something everybody else
is doing and they never got thememo, or they're behind. They're
starting too late, and thatmeans that their kid is not
going to have all theopportunities that they could
have. A lot of people are like,I don't even know what to do.
Like, what is the collegeprocess these days? And then,
(04:50):
how do we focus our attention?
You know, on the right things atthe right level. Like, are we
doing too much athletics? Isthat the. Right thing to
emphasize, or are there too manyextracurriculars or not enough?
I have a lot of parents who arelike, I don't know what matters.
So we're gonna head to our betsand do everything, and the kids
(05:11):
are totally over scheduled.
We're going to 15 differentextracurriculars. They're taking
the hardest classes. They've gotall the tutors. Everything is
happening at a very high level,and we're really at risk for
burning out, and there's a lotof stress in the relationship.
And a lot of these parents arelike, Why does it start to be so
hard? Why are we doing this toour teenagers? I don't remember
it being like this when Iapplied to college 20 years ago
(05:34):
or however long ago. It wasanother reason I do this is to
let you all know, like you'renot alone. Everybody in this
room feels one of these things,or one or more of these things,
and the college process can beone of those places where we
isolate ourselves because we'reworried that everybody's our
competition, where we feel somesort of shame that maybe we
(05:57):
don't know, and we're worriedabout our ability to parent
through this process, and wedon't want other people to know
that, but I promise you, yourfriends, your peers, your
colleagues, are all feeling thisway, and I think the more open
we can be about that, the bettersupported we can all be, right?
So I really want to have thatsense of community about this.
(06:18):
It's part of our mission atSignet, is to make this a less
isolating process. Because ifyou're feeling isolated, just
imagine how your kids arefeeling. A lot of them feel like
their best friend might be theirbiggest competition, and that
creates a really difficultfriendship dynamic, and you can
model for them that this doesn'thave to be a zero sum game, and
(06:39):
we're not all fighting for, youknow, the same thing. And one
person's success doesn't meanyour failure or vice versa,
right? And this is a reallygreat opportunity to teach them
that lesson. I'll get off mysoapbox. Okay, so let's get down
to brass tacks. Here is anoverview of what goes in to a US
college application. You need tohave a college list and know
(07:03):
where you're applying. You willhave to fill out application
forms that include informationabout your demographics, some
financial aid forms, youractivity list or your work
experience. Sometimes, this isin our resume form. You'll have
essays, you'll have a personalessay, you may also have
supplemental essays. Not everycollege requires them, but many
(07:25):
selected colleges do, and theseare more specific to each
school. Many schools ask forrecommendations. These would be
letters from your teacherstalking about what kind of a
student you are. And then someschools, very few schools
require test scores. Most ofthem are test optional, but test
scores may play a role in yourcollege application, your
(07:45):
transcript, which is the classesyou chose to take, and the
grades you earned in thoseclasses. And then some colleges,
fewer and fewer nowadays, haveinterview processes as well.
Some are moving more towardsrecord us a video and submit it
with your application, so we geta sense of the of the person
here. So the seniors who arefiling their applications
(08:07):
tomorrow, or maybe this week,have put all of this information
together in a nice, neatpackage, and they're sending it
off. But the challenge of thecollege application is not just
the documentation, it's buildingthis entire portfolio. So some
of these things you'll need tothink about before you get to
senior year, namely the collegelist, the classes that you're
(08:28):
taking, the grades that you'reearning, what you do outside of
school as extracurriculars orwork or family responsibilities.
Those recommendations come fromhaving a relationship with
teachers, and if you'resubmitting test scores, you know
that's going to come through aprocess of prepping and taking a
test as well. So it's not likeall of this is stuff that just
(08:50):
gets done in senior year, but itis also true that not all of
this stuff is relevant for afreshman or a sophomore or even
a junior to be thinking aboutsome of this needs to be left
for senior year. So that's whatwe're going to talk about today.
When do you do what? And how canyou approach this with less
stress and more success? Thething that I really want you to
(09:11):
understand here is that collegeadmissions is selective, not
competitive. Our instinct is tomaximize every item that we're
going to submit, we're going tosubmit the highest test scores
and the best grades, and we'regoing to take the hardest
curriculum. We're going to thebest recommendations. But every
year, you hear about studentswho have all that
(09:31):
and they still didn't get in towhatever college, right? And I
know that that's a verydestabilizing thing to hear.
It's very confusing, like, well,what could they possibly want?
If this isn't enough, how muchmore could any student do right?
And our teenagers are hearingthat, and they're thinking,
well, college may not be for me,if they want more than that kid
(09:54):
had right, and this may be a kidin their high school. It may be
in the headlines that happens.
Every single March, we get theseheadlines of so and so had a
1550 and started his own companyand still didn't get in to this
college. And I am very mad atthe media for that, but they
need a sensational headline, butit has a very real impact on
parents and their students whoare approaching this process.
(10:16):
But the thing we want toremember is that these colleges
can fill their classes severaltimes over with valedictorians,
with, you know, those kinds ofstudents. This difference
between selective andcompetitive means that when
someone like, you know, theseamazing students didn't get in,
it's not that it wasn't enough.
(10:36):
It's just that it wasn't amatch. I'm gonna say that again,
because that bears somerepeating. It's not about being
enough, right? Getting intocollege is not about being good
enough or smart enough or hardworking enough. It's not about
any of those things. There arestudents who have amazing things
to offer that still don't getin, and other people who may
(10:57):
have less impressive grades, butmay be a very impressive
artistic portfolio, or they didsomething really meaningful in
their community, and they'rejust such a community builder.
That's the thing that theCollege wants, right? They're
selecting based on what is amatch for their priorities and
their institution. This is whatI call the match pyramid. This
(11:19):
is our framework at Signet,academics are the bottom layer
of this pyramid. I don't mean toindicate that they're not
important in countless surveysfrom very many different
institutions, academics are thenumber one factor that colleges
rely on to make their decisions.
And when I say academics, I meanthe overall GPA, the rigor of
the curriculum, the test scores,if a college is going to look at
(11:43):
that, that's an academicmeasure, and executive function
skills. And I want to spend aminute on executive function,
because I think as a society,we're becoming more aware of
what that is. And so youprobably hear that all the time
when you're talking about yourteenager, but also, after COVID,
there's a real, sort ofmeasurable setback that we've
(12:03):
seen in students being able todevelop their executive function
skills. So that's something thatI encourage every parent to take
stock of and understand, thatthere are ways to help a student
strengthen their executivefunctions through practice and
skill building. So that's allpart of the academic layer, and
it's basically table stakes.
(12:25):
When we're looking at veryselective colleges, that's just,
you know, the price of entryhere. You need to have strong
academics. This doesn't meanpush your kid who is really a B
student to try to be an Astudent, right? You want them
working hard and challengingthemselves, but not every
student is going to be thestraight A student, and that's
(12:45):
fine. There are plenty ofcolleges that will be very happy
about that. You want tocalibrate the level of academics
to what their goals are in lifeand also in, you know, the
colleges that they're lookingat, but the academics is table
stakes. Once we've sort ofestablished they can handle the
academic rigor at this college,they will be successful at this
college as a student. Collegesare really looking for their
(13:07):
values as a match for thecollege, right? And some
colleges will use the languageof character. I mentioned these
surveys that different industryorganizations do, character is
quickly becoming the second mostimportant factor, after all, the
academic factors, they'relooking for positive character
attributes. And so these arethings like, you know, the pro
social values of community,building, communication,
(13:31):
kindness, caring, collaboration,a lot of those sorts of things.
But values can be anywhere fromlike a very high work ethic and
discipline habits to a sense ofintegrity to a sense of loyalty,
right? Every student hasdifferent values, and it is
absolutely crucial for them tofigure out what they are in
(13:54):
order to know well what collegesare a match for me. What stories
should I be telling thosecolleges in my essay, and then
beyond the college admissionsprocess, I really believe this
is the thing that can act as aninternal compass for your
student as they move throughhigh school, as they move
through college and startthinking about careers or
thinking about relationships.
Knowing your own values is superimportant, right? But colleges
(14:16):
are looking for that valuesmatch. And then there's
something that I call theremarkable factor, which is sort
of sometimes like overlaps withthe value. But this is the thing
that is just so special aboutyour kid. And of course, we all
think our kids are very special,but oftentimes there's like,
this one thing that they reallylove or that just totally lights
(14:37):
them up, or this is the rolethey play in their friend group
or in their school community.
They're just so internallymotivated around this thing,
because it is so integral to whothey are. I had a I had a mom
that I was talking to aboutthis, and she was like, you
know, I always got written up onmy report cards for talking too
(14:57):
much, but it was because I washelping other people and. With
their schoolwork or whatever,and she was like, that's how I
knew I should become aneducator. And it was, you know,
the thing that was reallyremarkable about her, and it
wasn't something that she wentout and had to develop. It was
something that was just so coreto her being that it really
stood out. And the challengewith the remarkable factor is
(15:21):
our teenagers, number one,compare themselves to other
people a lot. I mean, we all doright? But especially in the age
of social media, they think likesuper extraordinary things are
what make people remarkable whenthere are normal, everyday
things that they're alreadydoing, that they already care
about, you know, ways they showup in the world that are really
(15:41):
remarkable. And it is hard whenthey are that close to their own
life to step back and see whatthat is. It is hard for a parent
to know What is remarkable abouttheir kid. I get a lot of
parents who are like, Oh, theyplayed at Carnegie Hall once.
And I'm like, I mean, that's anamazing accomplishment, but I
don't think that that is yourkid's remarkable factor, right?
Remarkable is not anachievement. So this is where
(16:05):
having relationships with otheradult mentors, sports coaches,
teachers in your school, acollege coach you know like me
or the people on my team can bevery helpful. Even older sibling
or relative might see this inyour kid before you do or before
they do. But it's reallyimportant to identify because if
you can identify it, you canmake sure the colleges see it,
(16:29):
and then we can, you know, workout this match. Now, the other
thing to remember here is thatthis is not something that you
create out of whole cloth,right? Of course, they're
teenagers. They're going to needencouragement. They might need a
little bit of pushing, butyou're not trying to make them
into something they're not. Thisis really about helping them
tune in to who they already areand lean into that further
(16:53):
right? It's not. Let's find anew interest that you actually
are not interested in. Let'stake a nugget of interest and
see how far you can push that.
That's the kind of mode you wantto be in. Your teenagers are
going to appreciate it more.
They're not going to feel sopuppeted around. And it's going
to help them grow as people,because at the end of this
(17:13):
process, you are sending themaway to maybe a far off city to
live an independent life andstart their own kind of journey
into adulthood, and so youreally do want to make sure
they're prepared with a sense ofself and ability to talk about
what matters to them, to youknow, other people and adults,
and ability to createrelationships based on shared
(17:34):
values. So these things that areso integral to the way we
approach the college process, Ibelieve, are really integral to
helping our kids grow into thewonderful people that they're
going to be. And I see so manypeople who, you know, stress
out. They're doing everything,they're taking all the hard
classes. They're really, reallyinvolved extra curricularly, and
(17:55):
their kids are either burnt outor on the edge of burnout,
right? And studies show thatburnout is happening at younger
and younger ages than everbefore, and I believe this is
part of why the hoops that wemake people jump through, the
ways we make them disconnectfrom their true values and who
(18:16):
they are, the ways we makepeople live out of alignment to
quote, unquote, succeed in oursociety is planting the seeds of
burnout, and it often starts inhigh school with thinking about
college. So instead of goingdown that route of you have to
fit this box, let's figure outwhat actually matters to this
(18:37):
kid. Help them develop a senseof themselves so that they can
do that. I got back on mysoapbox. I told you I was going
to get off, but I got gone. I'msorry. And if you want to know,
you know more of the sort ofdata behind why this works and
the evidence that colleges areselecting for these things, and
(18:57):
more about how these things aremeasured and what you can do to
help your kids start to developa sense of these things. I've
put together a course. It'scalled what really matters in
college admissions. I'll takeyou through the application
forms and a lot of data, soyou'll really understand how to
assess whether a college is amatch on the values, is a match
(19:18):
on the remarkable factor, andhow to really position your
student for any of thosecolleges that they're aiming
for.
Okay, let's now talk a littlebit about timeline. There's a
lot to do here, and I knowyou're hearing a lot about it,
but I want you to think abouttaking it in phases. I don't
recommend you show this wholething to your kid and explain
(19:39):
you gotta do this. You gotta dothat. It's gonna overwhelm them.
They might shut down. They'regonna resent it. So piecemeal it
out to them. You know, we do alittle bread crumbing this
semester. We're focusing onthis, or this year, this should
be our overall priority. And youcan kind of hold this timeline
elsewhere. So the first phase, Ithink of as Canada. Development,
(20:00):
and a lot of this is happeningin ninth and 10th grade, but it
absolutely continues into 11thand even 12th, when they're
starting to write some of theiressays. That's when they're
really like learning thelanguage to describe their
values. But it starts with a lotof internal exploration, self
reflection, that sort of thing.
We really want to get a sense ofvalues and strengths, their
learning preferences. So whenthey tell you gotta hate this
(20:23):
teacher, don't just be like,don't hate your teacher, you
know, dig in a little bit andreally try to understand, like,
what is it that you don't likeabout this person? Is it that
they don't take you seriously?
They are not invested in you?
The way they teach is somehowconfusing to you, or they use,
you know, they make you read atextbook and then come into
class, or is it all like aPowerPoint slide that they're
(20:45):
reading off of and it's superboring. Really try to understand
what they like and what theydon't like about their teachers,
because that's going to help youeventually choose classes for
next year, but also choosecolleges right there. There are
things we know about theacademic philosophy of different
colleges, and you can line thatup for your kids, so you know,
you're putting them in a greatlearning environment for them.
(21:06):
Interests, you know, exploringthrough extracurriculars, their
skills. So this includes theexecutive functioning skills,
but also academic skills, likelearning how to manage a reading
load, or how do you prepare fora chemistry test. How do you
study? How do you keep yourmaterials organized? You know,
all of those sorts of things Ithink of as academic skills.
(21:27):
Relationship Building is superimportant. The earlier you can
get mentors that you trust inplace with your child, the
better off that they're going tobe. I mentioned reflection and
then and those sort of goals.
You know, a lot of kids don'trespond well to when you say,
What? What are your goals?
They're like, I don't I don'tknow what that means. Why do I
have to have goals? Butsometimes we use the language of
(21:48):
vision. You know, if you couldwave a magic wand, what would
you be doing after school? Howlong would homework take you?
What would your room look like?
How much time would you have forhanging out with your friends or
just being on your phone and getthem to sort of vision what they
want their life to look like?
And you can pull some goals outof that. And it does take time,
(22:09):
and this is where a mentor canbe really helpful. The next
phase is planning anorganization. For me, most of
this happens between the end ofsophomore year and the end of
junior year. Junior year is areally tough year that's like
their hardest year academically.
That is the year their GPAmatters a lot in college
(22:29):
admissions. They may be takingthe SAT or the ACT, and this is
where you gotta really get yourducks in a row. You're starting
to build your college listthrough a research process. You
may be visiting colleges, and bythe end of that process of
researching your colleges, youshould be thinking about, okay,
these are the colleges we'reapplying to. What stories can my
(22:50):
student tell to help thiscollege see what a great fit
they are, right? So we'rethinking about application
strategy, narrative strategy.
This would include, are weapplying early or are we
applying regular decision? Andthey're like a whole bunch of
nuances within there, but all ofthat should be happening before
the end of junior year. And thenwe move into application
writing, which I really startwith my students, June of junior
(23:13):
year. And we're continuing.
We're in the busy season rightnow. We've got some early
deadlines coming up November 1.
So all my kids are scrambling toget, you know, the final polish
done, but that's really whenyou're going to start filling
out the application forms,writing the essays, compiling
your extracurriculars ontoeither a resume or an activity
list, depending on what theapplication form requires, and
(23:35):
then that positioning for thoseparticular colleges, and then
all of the Polish andproofreading that that needs to
go into it. So you can totallyseparate these things out. You
can't do them out of order. Theplanning and organization really
depends on candidacydevelopment. The application
writing depends on theorganization and the candidacy
development, right? So theybuild upon each other. So you do
(23:57):
want to take this in phases, andI'm going to give you a tool
that has when I recommend you dowhat, with some more resources
in just a second, if any of youhave climbed a mountain, you
probably know this, or run amarathon, it's not like you just
start you you have to preparefor months ahead of time. The
the training, the physicaltraining, the getting the right
(24:20):
equipment, you know, plottingyour course, all of that is
really important to having asuccessful marathon or climb or
whatever it is. And it's nodifferent in the college
process, it would be a loteasier and a lot less stressful
if you started some of thisninth, 10th, even 11th grade is
valuable to put some of thatwork in and get your ducks in a
(24:41):
row so that you can move throughthis with with less stress and
more success. Some guidingprinciples here just keep your
priorities straight. Right? Yourpriority should be your child's
well being over what collegethey go to or what grades they
get. I need to remind people of.
Sometimes. So keep yourpriorities straight. Your
(25:03):
child's well being is numberone. After that, you may have
different priorities fordifferent years. You will have
different priorities fordifferent kids, and that's all
fine. Just know what yourpriorities are before you let
your fear, your anxiety, therumors, guide your decision
making, right? We know you can'tmake a smart decision if you're
(25:26):
operating from a place of fearor defensiveness or anxiety,
right? You really need to staygrounded and see the bigger
picture before you make yourdecision. And we want to impart
some of that calm decisionmaking to our children, and this
is a place where you can modelthat we want to inform them of
what they need to know. You knowright now, maybe within the next
(25:48):
six weeks, maybe within the nextthree months, but they don't
need to understand all theintricacies of this process,
because they're going to getoverwhelmed by that. Now, the
exception to this is if they'rein an environment where
everybody is talking about allof the intricacies of this
process. Sometimes it can behelpful to show them something
like this match pyramid, or takethem through that course where
(26:09):
they can see the data and hearfrom an expert, because even if
you're saying the same thing, Iknow they just listen to me
differently than they're goingto listen to you. You control
what you can control today, andso that means you should be
selective about what you'retalking to them about and when
you're talking to them. And Iencourage you to free up space
in your brain, right? You don'tneed to hold on to all of this
(26:30):
information on a scrap of paperor just in your memory. Even
better, bring in an expert likeyou have a resource in your high
school that is supposed to bedoing this with you, depending
on how big your high school isor how well resourced it is,
they may be able to do only somuch. You know, some schools get
some students get more supportfrom their counselors than
others. But there are alsocommunity based organizations.
(26:52):
There are resources online.
There are very reasonably pricedservices that you can sign up
for that you know, have a videolibrary of information that you
can access when you need it,when you have questions. Or
there are people like me and myteam where former admissions
officers, and the way I usuallylike to work with students is we
scope out a project, and I say,Alright, I'm going to tell you
(27:16):
when we need to meet and what weneed to be talking about, and
I'm going to be working onstrategy in the background. And
what I want from you today is,you know, tell me about this
extracurricular and why you loveit. And we keep it really simple
for kids, and we're always therefor the parents to to help them,
you know, manage their ownoverwhelm and all of their
questions and, you know, all ofthe nuances of the strategy. So
bringing in an expert issomething that you can
(27:39):
absolutely do. And because thecollege application is really a
portfolio, I want to leave youwith some thoughts about this.
The application is a very twodimensional representation of
who your student is, right? Butif you've ever prepared a
portfolio of marketing assetsthat you worked on, or, you
know, even your resume is sortof a portfolio of like, your
biggest accomplishments atprevious companies. When you are
(28:02):
putting that together, you'renot thinking, Oh, this company
does these things. I'm gonna tryto be all of the things for
them. You instead, really focuson what you have actually done,
what is actually meaningful toyou, and then you position it
for that company, right? If youknow they've got this challenge,
(28:25):
and you've actually solved thatchallenge two jobs ago, that's
probably going to have like, areally beefy bullet point on
your resume, or you're going tocall it out in your cover
letter, you're going to makesure you talk about it in the
interview, right? And thecollege application is really
not that different, right? It'sabout helping your child figure
out who they are, doing that atthe best level that they can,
(28:45):
and finding colleges that reallywill resonate with what they
already have to offer.
So I'm ending the recordingright there, because not only is
that where we pivoted andstarted going into the questions
from the audience, but that isalso really the main point of
everything I'm always saying.
This is about helping your childfigure out who they are, and
(29:10):
letting that decide whatcolleges are you applying to and
what stories are you tellingthem. And I just cannot stress
that enough that if you do itthat way, you are going to be
able to achieve two reallyimportant goals at this time in
your child's life. One is you'regoing to help them have a
(29:31):
clearer sense of self and aclearer understanding of how
they want to move through theworld, and the other is you're
going to help them get into theright college for them who could
ask for more. So I hope thatthis was helpful. I hope that
you are in a good position toget your ducks in a row, and
that this process goes so easilyfor you, and if you want more
(29:56):
help around this, I mentioned. Ihave a course, and we'll link
that in the show notes. But theother thing that might be
helpful for you is the actualrecording of this session, where
you can look at the slides aswell, as you know, get some of
the tools that I gave to thefolks who came to that talk. So
to find that, you want to go toSignet education.com/events, and
that will also be in the shownotes. So please check it out,
(30:19):
and I hope that this is allhelpful for you, and we'll see
you next time. Thanks,everybody.
And the college application is really not that
(00:01):
different, right? It's abouthelping your child figure out
who they are, doing that at thebest level that they can, and
finding colleges that reallywill resonate with what they
already have to offer.
(00:26):
Hey folks, welcome back to thepodcast. It is Halloween,
October 31 and I like to makethe very lame joke that tonight
is not just scary because it'sHalloween, it's because it's the
night before early applicationdeadlines. I know a lot of kids
are really stressed. Theirparents are also really
(00:50):
stressed, and that stress is, ofcourse, legitimate and real and
valid, and no matter when thesefolks started working on college
applications, whether theystarted in, you know, the
beginning of ninth grade or theyjust started two weeks ago,
regardless of when they started,there would still be stress
(01:11):
around this deadline, because itfeels like so much is riding on
these applications. So I don'twant to minimize that stress,
and I don't want to place anyblame on people who may be
feeling like, oh, I started toolate, or, you know, any of those
shame that starts to spiralright that doesn't actually help
us get the thing done, it justmakes us feel bad about
(01:32):
ourselves. So with that said,Today, I do want to talk about
getting an earlier start andgetting yourself organized so
that hopefully it's not sostressful the night before
deadlines, because you've got aplan. Things are done well in
advance. You know who to rely onwhen you need help, and all of
that. So today, I'm sharing withyou bits and pieces of a talk
(01:56):
that I gave last month ongetting your ducks in a row for
the college process. I'll letyou tune in now. Today we're
going to talk about what tothink about with your younger
children as they start toapproach the end of high school
and really starting to get intothe nuts and bolts of the
college process. There's a lotthat you can do ahead of time to
(02:17):
make that process lessstressful, a little simpler, and
to just feel more confidentmoving through it. I know that
there are just a ton ofquestions about this, and you're
hearing a lot of, you know,rumors, and there's
misinformation, and then thereare sensational headlines, and
it can get really easy to getcaught up in that and not be
(02:37):
able to see where your child isgoing to fit in in that
narrative, right? If they'renot, you know, some genius that
is destined for Harvard orStanford, well, what are our
other choices? What does thatprocess look like? Or maybe
they're just not interested, oryou're not interested in having
them go to a super competitive,rigorous like burnout trap of,
(03:00):
you know, the the superselective colleges, and that's
great, but what does that meanyou should focus on? And how do
you stay focused on the rightthings for your child based on
their goals, and not just doeverything that everybody else
is doing when they may havetotally different goals from
you? The main thing that I wantto be able to give you today is
a framework for understandingwhat really matters and what you
(03:22):
should be focused on. Like, howis, how are these decisions
being made of who gets in andwhy, so that you can sort of
rely on that at those momentswhere you're feeling like, oh
gosh, the Rumors are swirling. Idon't know who to believe, come
back to this framework, andit'll help you stay grounded on
what is actually going to makethe difference for your child.
So we call this, get your ducksin a row for college. There are
(03:44):
a lot of ducks, and they'regoing in all different ways, and
we don't really know which waywe should be going. But part of
this metaphor that I reallyliked is, you know, Mama, ducks,
gotta lead with some confidence.
And if you are feeling like, Idon't know what matters, I don't
think I can help you. I didn'tgo to college, or I didn't go to
that kind of college, or theprocess has changed so much
since any of us applied. It ishard to lead with confidence.
(04:07):
And you know, your children,they don't always want to listen
to parents, and they definitelydon't want to listen to a parent
that doesn't sound like theyknow what's going on, right? So
I want to give you some of thatconfidence today so that you can
lead your ducks in the rightdirection. You know, I talk to
parents all day long, andusually they fall into one of
these categories, or or multipleof them. When we're talking
(04:29):
about the college process,either they feel like they're
sure that they miss something,there's something everybody else
is doing and they never got thememo, or they're behind. They're
starting too late, and thatmeans that their kid is not
going to have all theopportunities that they could
have. A lot of people are like,I don't even know what to do.
Like, what is the collegeprocess these days? And then,
(04:50):
how do we focus our attention?
You know, on the right things atthe right level. Like, are we
doing too much athletics? Isthat the. Right thing to
emphasize, or are there too manyextracurriculars or not enough?
I have a lot of parents who arelike, I don't know what matters.
So we're gonna head to our betsand do everything, and the kids
(05:11):
are totally over scheduled.
We're going to 15 differentextracurriculars. They're taking
the hardest classes. They've gotall the tutors. Everything is
happening at a very high level,and we're really at risk for
burning out, and there's a lotof stress in the relationship.
And a lot of these parents arelike, Why does it start to be so
hard? Why are we doing this toour teenagers? I don't remember
it being like this when Iapplied to college 20 years ago
(05:34):
or however long ago. It wasanother reason I do this is to
let you all know, like you'renot alone. Everybody in this
room feels one of these things,or one or more of these things,
and the college process can beone of those places where we
isolate ourselves because we'reworried that everybody's our
competition, where we feel somesort of shame that maybe we
(05:57):
don't know, and we're worriedabout our ability to parent
through this process, and wedon't want other people to know
that, but I promise you, yourfriends, your peers, your
colleagues, are all feeling thisway, and I think the more open
we can be about that, the bettersupported we can all be, right?
So I really want to have thatsense of community about this.
(06:18):
It's part of our mission atSignet, is to make this a less
isolating process. Because ifyou're feeling isolated, just
imagine how your kids arefeeling. A lot of them feel like
their best friend might be theirbiggest competition, and that
creates a really difficultfriendship dynamic, and you can
model for them that this doesn'thave to be a zero sum game, and
(06:39):
we're not all fighting for, youknow, the same thing. And one
person's success doesn't meanyour failure or vice versa,
right? And this is a reallygreat opportunity to teach them
that lesson. I'll get off mysoapbox. Okay, so let's get down
to brass tacks. Here is anoverview of what goes in to a US
college application. You need tohave a college list and know
(07:03):
where you're applying. You willhave to fill out application
forms that include informationabout your demographics, some
financial aid forms, youractivity list or your work
experience. Sometimes, this isin our resume form. You'll have
essays, you'll have a personalessay, you may also have
supplemental essays. Not everycollege requires them, but many
(07:25):
selected colleges do, and theseare more specific to each
school. Many schools ask forrecommendations. These would be
letters from your teacherstalking about what kind of a
student you are. And then someschools, very few schools
require test scores. Most ofthem are test optional, but test
scores may play a role in yourcollege application, your
(07:45):
transcript, which is the classesyou chose to take, and the
grades you earned in thoseclasses. And then some colleges,
fewer and fewer nowadays, haveinterview processes as well.
Some are moving more towardsrecord us a video and submit it
with your application, so we geta sense of the of the person
here. So the seniors who arefiling their applications
(08:07):
tomorrow, or maybe this week,have put all of this information
together in a nice, neatpackage, and they're sending it
off. But the challenge of thecollege application is not just
the documentation, it's buildingthis entire portfolio. So some
of these things you'll need tothink about before you get to
senior year, namely the collegelist, the classes that you're
(08:28):
taking, the grades that you'reearning, what you do outside of
school as extracurriculars orwork or family responsibilities.
Those recommendations come fromhaving a relationship with
teachers, and if you'resubmitting test scores, you know
that's going to come through aprocess of prepping and taking a
test as well. So it's not likeall of this is stuff that just
(08:50):
gets done in senior year, but itis also true that not all of
this stuff is relevant for afreshman or a sophomore or even
a junior to be thinking aboutsome of this needs to be left
for senior year. So that's whatwe're going to talk about today.
When do you do what? And how canyou approach this with less
stress and more success? Thething that I really want you to
(09:11):
understand here is that collegeadmissions is selective, not
competitive. Our instinct is tomaximize every item that we're
going to submit, we're going tosubmit the highest test scores
and the best grades, and we'regoing to take the hardest
curriculum. We're going to thebest recommendations. But every
year, you hear about studentswho have all that
(09:31):
and they still didn't get in towhatever college, right? And I
know that that's a verydestabilizing thing to hear.
It's very confusing, like, well,what could they possibly want?
If this isn't enough, how muchmore could any student do right?
And our teenagers are hearingthat, and they're thinking,
well, college may not be for me,if they want more than that kid
(09:54):
had right, and this may be a kidin their high school. It may be
in the headlines that happens.
Every single March, we get theseheadlines of so and so had a
1550 and started his own companyand still didn't get in to this
college. And I am very mad atthe media for that, but they
need a sensational headline, butit has a very real impact on
parents and their students whoare approaching this process.
(10:16):
But the thing we want toremember is that these colleges
can fill their classes severaltimes over with valedictorians,
with, you know, those kinds ofstudents. This difference
between selective andcompetitive means that when
someone like, you know, theseamazing students didn't get in,
it's not that it wasn't enough.
(10:36):
It's just that it wasn't amatch. I'm gonna say that again,
because that bears somerepeating. It's not about being
enough, right? Getting intocollege is not about being good
enough or smart enough or hardworking enough. It's not about
any of those things. There arestudents who have amazing things
to offer that still don't getin, and other people who may
(10:57):
have less impressive grades, butmay be a very impressive
artistic portfolio, or they didsomething really meaningful in
their community, and they'rejust such a community builder.
That's the thing that theCollege wants, right? They're
selecting based on what is amatch for their priorities and
their institution. This is whatI call the match pyramid. This
(11:19):
is our framework at Signet,academics are the bottom layer
of this pyramid. I don't mean toindicate that they're not
important in countless surveysfrom very many different
institutions, academics are thenumber one factor that colleges
rely on to make their decisions.
And when I say academics, I meanthe overall GPA, the rigor of
the curriculum, the test scores,if a college is going to look at
(11:43):
that, that's an academicmeasure, and executive function
skills. And I want to spend aminute on executive function,
because I think as a society,we're becoming more aware of
what that is. And so youprobably hear that all the time
when you're talking about yourteenager, but also, after COVID,
there's a real, sort ofmeasurable setback that we've
(12:03):
seen in students being able todevelop their executive function
skills. So that's something thatI encourage every parent to take
stock of and understand, thatthere are ways to help a student
strengthen their executivefunctions through practice and
skill building. So that's allpart of the academic layer, and
it's basically table stakes.
(12:25):
When we're looking at veryselective colleges, that's just,
you know, the price of entryhere. You need to have strong
academics. This doesn't meanpush your kid who is really a B
student to try to be an Astudent, right? You want them
working hard and challengingthemselves, but not every
student is going to be thestraight A student, and that's
(12:45):
fine. There are plenty ofcolleges that will be very happy
about that. You want tocalibrate the level of academics
to what their goals are in lifeand also in, you know, the
colleges that they're lookingat, but the academics is table
stakes. Once we've sort ofestablished they can handle the
academic rigor at this college,they will be successful at this
college as a student. Collegesare really looking for their
(13:07):
values as a match for thecollege, right? And some
colleges will use the languageof character. I mentioned these
surveys that different industryorganizations do, character is
quickly becoming the second mostimportant factor, after all, the
academic factors, they'relooking for positive character
attributes. And so these arethings like, you know, the pro
social values of community,building, communication,
(13:31):
kindness, caring, collaboration,a lot of those sorts of things.
But values can be anywhere fromlike a very high work ethic and
discipline habits to a sense ofintegrity to a sense of loyalty,
right? Every student hasdifferent values, and it is
absolutely crucial for them tofigure out what they are in
(13:54):
order to know well what collegesare a match for me. What stories
should I be telling thosecolleges in my essay, and then
beyond the college admissionsprocess, I really believe this
is the thing that can act as aninternal compass for your
student as they move throughhigh school, as they move
through college and startthinking about careers or
thinking about relationships.
Knowing your own values is superimportant, right? But colleges
(14:16):
are looking for that valuesmatch. And then there's
something that I call theremarkable factor, which is sort
of sometimes like overlaps withthe value. But this is the thing
that is just so special aboutyour kid. And of course, we all
think our kids are very special,but oftentimes there's like,
this one thing that they reallylove or that just totally lights
(14:37):
them up, or this is the rolethey play in their friend group
or in their school community.
They're just so internallymotivated around this thing,
because it is so integral to whothey are. I had a I had a mom
that I was talking to aboutthis, and she was like, you
know, I always got written up onmy report cards for talking too
(14:57):
much, but it was because I washelping other people and. With
their schoolwork or whatever,and she was like, that's how I
knew I should become aneducator. And it was, you know,
the thing that was reallyremarkable about her, and it
wasn't something that she wentout and had to develop. It was
something that was just so coreto her being that it really
stood out. And the challengewith the remarkable factor is
(15:21):
our teenagers, number one,compare themselves to other
people a lot. I mean, we all doright? But especially in the age
of social media, they think likesuper extraordinary things are
what make people remarkable whenthere are normal, everyday
things that they're alreadydoing, that they already care
about, you know, ways they showup in the world that are really
(15:41):
remarkable. And it is hard whenthey are that close to their own
life to step back and see whatthat is. It is hard for a parent
to know What is remarkable abouttheir kid. I get a lot of
parents who are like, Oh, theyplayed at Carnegie Hall once.
And I'm like, I mean, that's anamazing accomplishment, but I
don't think that that is yourkid's remarkable factor, right?
Remarkable is not anachievement. So this is where
(16:05):
having relationships with otheradult mentors, sports coaches,
teachers in your school, acollege coach you know like me
or the people on my team can bevery helpful. Even older sibling
or relative might see this inyour kid before you do or before
they do. But it's reallyimportant to identify because if
you can identify it, you canmake sure the colleges see it,
(16:29):
and then we can, you know, workout this match. Now, the other
thing to remember here is thatthis is not something that you
create out of whole cloth,right? Of course, they're
teenagers. They're going to needencouragement. They might need a
little bit of pushing, butyou're not trying to make them
into something they're not. Thisis really about helping them
tune in to who they already areand lean into that further
(16:53):
right? It's not. Let's find anew interest that you actually
are not interested in. Let'stake a nugget of interest and
see how far you can push that.
That's the kind of mode you wantto be in. Your teenagers are
going to appreciate it more.
They're not going to feel sopuppeted around. And it's going
to help them grow as people,because at the end of this
(17:13):
process, you are sending themaway to maybe a far off city to
live an independent life andstart their own kind of journey
into adulthood, and so youreally do want to make sure
they're prepared with a sense ofself and ability to talk about
what matters to them, to youknow, other people and adults,
and ability to createrelationships based on shared
(17:34):
values. So these things that areso integral to the way we
approach the college process, Ibelieve, are really integral to
helping our kids grow into thewonderful people that they're
going to be. And I see so manypeople who, you know, stress
out. They're doing everything,they're taking all the hard
classes. They're really, reallyinvolved extra curricularly, and
(17:55):
their kids are either burnt outor on the edge of burnout,
right? And studies show thatburnout is happening at younger
and younger ages than everbefore, and I believe this is
part of why the hoops that wemake people jump through, the
ways we make them disconnectfrom their true values and who
(18:16):
they are, the ways we makepeople live out of alignment to
quote, unquote, succeed in oursociety is planting the seeds of
burnout, and it often starts inhigh school with thinking about
college. So instead of goingdown that route of you have to
fit this box, let's figure outwhat actually matters to this
(18:37):
kid. Help them develop a senseof themselves so that they can
do that. I got back on mysoapbox. I told you I was going
to get off, but I got gone. I'msorry. And if you want to know,
you know more of the sort ofdata behind why this works and
the evidence that colleges areselecting for these things, and
(18:57):
more about how these things aremeasured and what you can do to
help your kids start to developa sense of these things. I've
put together a course. It'scalled what really matters in
college admissions. I'll takeyou through the application
forms and a lot of data, soyou'll really understand how to
assess whether a college is amatch on the values, is a match
(19:18):
on the remarkable factor, andhow to really position your
student for any of thosecolleges that they're aiming
for.
Okay, let's now talk a littlebit about timeline. There's a
lot to do here, and I knowyou're hearing a lot about it,
but I want you to think abouttaking it in phases. I don't
recommend you show this wholething to your kid and explain
(19:39):
you gotta do this. You gotta dothat. It's gonna overwhelm them.
They might shut down. They'regonna resent it. So piecemeal it
out to them. You know, we do alittle bread crumbing this
semester. We're focusing onthis, or this year, this should
be our overall priority. And youcan kind of hold this timeline
elsewhere. So the first phase, Ithink of as Canada. Development,
(20:00):
and a lot of this is happeningin ninth and 10th grade, but it
absolutely continues into 11thand even 12th, when they're
starting to write some of theiressays. That's when they're
really like learning thelanguage to describe their
values. But it starts with a lotof internal exploration, self
reflection, that sort of thing.
We really want to get a sense ofvalues and strengths, their
learning preferences. So whenthey tell you gotta hate this
(20:23):
teacher, don't just be like,don't hate your teacher, you
know, dig in a little bit andreally try to understand, like,
what is it that you don't likeabout this person? Is it that
they don't take you seriously?
They are not invested in you?
The way they teach is somehowconfusing to you, or they use,
you know, they make you read atextbook and then come into
class, or is it all like aPowerPoint slide that they're
(20:45):
reading off of and it's superboring. Really try to understand
what they like and what theydon't like about their teachers,
because that's going to help youeventually choose classes for
next year, but also choosecolleges right there. There are
things we know about theacademic philosophy of different
colleges, and you can line thatup for your kids, so you know,
you're putting them in a greatlearning environment for them.
(21:06):
Interests, you know, exploringthrough extracurriculars, their
skills. So this includes theexecutive functioning skills,
but also academic skills, likelearning how to manage a reading
load, or how do you prepare fora chemistry test. How do you
study? How do you keep yourmaterials organized? You know,
all of those sorts of things Ithink of as academic skills.
(21:27):
Relationship Building is superimportant. The earlier you can
get mentors that you trust inplace with your child, the
better off that they're going tobe. I mentioned reflection and
then and those sort of goals.
You know, a lot of kids don'trespond well to when you say,
What? What are your goals?
They're like, I don't I don'tknow what that means. Why do I
have to have goals? Butsometimes we use the language of
(21:48):
vision. You know, if you couldwave a magic wand, what would
you be doing after school? Howlong would homework take you?
What would your room look like?
How much time would you have forhanging out with your friends or
just being on your phone and getthem to sort of vision what they
want their life to look like?
And you can pull some goals outof that. And it does take time,
(22:09):
and this is where a mentor canbe really helpful. The next
phase is planning anorganization. For me, most of
this happens between the end ofsophomore year and the end of
junior year. Junior year is areally tough year that's like
their hardest year academically.
That is the year their GPAmatters a lot in college
(22:29):
admissions. They may be takingthe SAT or the ACT, and this is
where you gotta really get yourducks in a row. You're starting
to build your college listthrough a research process. You
may be visiting colleges, and bythe end of that process of
researching your colleges, youshould be thinking about, okay,
these are the colleges we'reapplying to. What stories can my
(22:50):
student tell to help thiscollege see what a great fit
they are, right? So we'rethinking about application
strategy, narrative strategy.
This would include, are weapplying early or are we
applying regular decision? Andthey're like a whole bunch of
nuances within there, but all ofthat should be happening before
the end of junior year. And thenwe move into application
writing, which I really startwith my students, June of junior
(23:13):
year. And we're continuing.
We're in the busy season rightnow. We've got some early
deadlines coming up November 1.
So all my kids are scrambling toget, you know, the final polish
done, but that's really whenyou're going to start filling
out the application forms,writing the essays, compiling
your extracurriculars ontoeither a resume or an activity
list, depending on what theapplication form requires, and
(23:35):
then that positioning for thoseparticular colleges, and then
all of the Polish andproofreading that that needs to
go into it. So you can totallyseparate these things out. You
can't do them out of order. Theplanning and organization really
depends on candidacydevelopment. The application
writing depends on theorganization and the candidacy
development, right? So theybuild upon each other. So you do
(23:57):
want to take this in phases, andI'm going to give you a tool
that has when I recommend you dowhat, with some more resources
in just a second, if any of youhave climbed a mountain, you
probably know this, or run amarathon, it's not like you just
start you you have to preparefor months ahead of time. The
the training, the physicaltraining, the getting the right
(24:20):
equipment, you know, plottingyour course, all of that is
really important to having asuccessful marathon or climb or
whatever it is. And it's nodifferent in the college
process, it would be a loteasier and a lot less stressful
if you started some of thisninth, 10th, even 11th grade is
valuable to put some of thatwork in and get your ducks in a
(24:41):
row so that you can move throughthis with with less stress and
more success. Some guidingprinciples here just keep your
priorities straight. Right? Yourpriority should be your child's
well being over what collegethey go to or what grades they
get. I need to remind people of.
Sometimes. So keep yourpriorities straight. Your
(25:03):
child's well being is numberone. After that, you may have
different priorities fordifferent years. You will have
different priorities fordifferent kids, and that's all
fine. Just know what yourpriorities are before you let
your fear, your anxiety, therumors, guide your decision
making, right? We know you can'tmake a smart decision if you're
(25:26):
operating from a place of fearor defensiveness or anxiety,
right? You really need to staygrounded and see the bigger
picture before you make yourdecision. And we want to impart
some of that calm decisionmaking to our children, and this
is a place where you can modelthat we want to inform them of
what they need to know. You knowright now, maybe within the next
(25:48):
six weeks, maybe within the nextthree months, but they don't
need to understand all theintricacies of this process,
because they're going to getoverwhelmed by that. Now, the
exception to this is if they'rein an environment where
everybody is talking about allof the intricacies of this
process. Sometimes it can behelpful to show them something
like this match pyramid, or takethem through that course where
(26:09):
they can see the data and hearfrom an expert, because even if
you're saying the same thing, Iknow they just listen to me
differently than they're goingto listen to you. You control
what you can control today, andso that means you should be
selective about what you'retalking to them about and when
you're talking to them. And Iencourage you to free up space
in your brain, right? You don'tneed to hold on to all of this
(26:30):
information on a scrap of paperor just in your memory. Even
better, bring in an expert likeyou have a resource in your high
school that is supposed to bedoing this with you, depending
on how big your high school isor how well resourced it is,
they may be able to do only somuch. You know, some schools get
some students get more supportfrom their counselors than
others. But there are alsocommunity based organizations.
(26:52):
There are resources online.
There are very reasonably pricedservices that you can sign up
for that you know, have a videolibrary of information that you
can access when you need it,when you have questions. Or
there are people like me and myteam where former admissions
officers, and the way I usuallylike to work with students is we
scope out a project, and I say,Alright, I'm going to tell you
(27:16):
when we need to meet and what weneed to be talking about, and
I'm going to be working onstrategy in the background. And
what I want from you today is,you know, tell me about this
extracurricular and why you loveit. And we keep it really simple
for kids, and we're always therefor the parents to to help them,
you know, manage their ownoverwhelm and all of their
questions and, you know, all ofthe nuances of the strategy. So
bringing in an expert issomething that you can
(27:39):
absolutely do. And because thecollege application is really a
portfolio, I want to leave youwith some thoughts about this.
The application is a very twodimensional representation of
who your student is, right? Butif you've ever prepared a
portfolio of marketing assetsthat you worked on, or, you
know, even your resume is sortof a portfolio of like, your
biggest accomplishments atprevious companies. When you are
(28:02):
putting that together, you'renot thinking, Oh, this company
does these things. I'm gonna tryto be all of the things for
them. You instead, really focuson what you have actually done,
what is actually meaningful toyou, and then you position it
for that company, right? If youknow they've got this challenge,
(28:25):
and you've actually solved thatchallenge two jobs ago, that's
probably going to have like, areally beefy bullet point on
your resume, or you're going tocall it out in your cover
letter, you're going to makesure you talk about it in the
interview, right? And thecollege application is really
not that different, right? It'sabout helping your child figure
out who they are, doing that atthe best level that they can,
(28:45):
and finding colleges that reallywill resonate with what they
already have to offer.
So I'm ending the recordingright there, because not only is
that where we pivoted andstarted going into the questions
from the audience, but that isalso really the main point of
everything I'm always saying.
This is about helping your childfigure out who they are, and
(29:10):
letting that decide whatcolleges are you applying to and
what stories are you tellingthem. And I just cannot stress
that enough that if you do itthat way, you are going to be
able to achieve two reallyimportant goals at this time in
your child's life. One is you'regoing to help them have a
(29:31):
clearer sense of self and aclearer understanding of how
they want to move through theworld, and the other is you're
going to help them get into theright college for them who could
ask for more. So I hope thatthis was helpful. I hope that
you are in a good position toget your ducks in a row, and
that this process goes so easilyfor you, and if you want more
(29:56):
help around this, I mentioned. Ihave a course, and we'll link
that in the show notes. But theother thing that might be
helpful for you is the actualrecording of this session, where
you can look at the slides aswell, as you know, get some of
the tools that I gave to thefolks who came to that talk. So
to find that, you want to go toSignet education.com/events, and
that will also be in the shownotes. So please check it out,
(30:19):
and I hope that this is allhelpful for you, and we'll see
you next time. Thanks,everybody.
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