Discovering Core Values and Life's Purpose with Demetria Nickens

How Do Values Impact Your Purpose?

What if you could pinpoint the core values that truly define your life's purpose? On the Dove's Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. Podcast, that's exactly what Demetria Nickens, a seasoned mental health first aid instructor and trauma recovery coach, guides us to discover. Joined by our co-host and producer Garfield Bowen, Demetria unravels the intricate relationship between values and purpose, urging listeners to identify their top five values from a comprehensive list. By doing so, she explains, we can steer our life's journey with greater clarity and intention, ensuring every step aligns with our true selves and serves a purpose greater than ourselves.

Throughout the episode, Demetria shares transformative insights from her own mentor, Bill Johnson, known as the dream dean, who inspired her to view purpose as a path to becoming the best version of oneself in service to something bigger. This enlightening discussion challenges us to introspect and assess whether our current life choices truly resonate with our core values, especially for those navigating life's later chapters. With a focus on self-awareness and personal growth, Demetria inspires us to take ownership of our purpose and align our actions with our deepest values, offering a roadmap to a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Dove's Inner Beauty Podcast, where we
foster emotional awareness, oneindividual at a time.
Leading the way is DemetriaNickens, a certified mental
health first aid instructor andtrauma recovery coach with over
two decades of experience infostering emotional awareness in
others by engaging their mentalhealth.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Values are like the GPS for our life's journey.
Without them, you might end upin the middle of nowhere.
Let's explore how these guidingprinciples shape your purpose.
This is Garfield Bowen, co-hostslash producer, back in the
studio with Demetria Nickens.
Demetria, how are you doingtoday?

Speaker 3 (00:56):
I'm doing well.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
So, demetria, how does values impact your purpose?

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Such a good question, right?
So when we think about thisidea of purpose, right?
What is it that I want to dowith my life?
What am I quote unquote meantto do with my life?
So many people ask thisquestion and they have
absolutely no idea where to gowith it and it stops them
because they feel like somethingelse is supposed to tell them
what their purpose is.
They're supposed to define it.

(01:25):
Something else is supposed todefine what that purpose is for
them, instead of them takingownership.
And what that is I like tothink about.
Purpose is how do you become thebest you, and then in service
to something else?
Right, and something biggerthan you, right?
So I'm becoming the best me, sothat I could be in service to
something bigger than me.

(01:45):
So if I think about purpose, Ithink about it that way.
And I got this whole conceptfrom an old instructor.
He's retired now, his name isBill Johnson and they call him
the dream dean because he worksin higher ed and this idea of
purpose was everything.
So he's done a lot of work inpurpose.
After studying under him.
This idea made sense to me.

(02:05):
It clicked right, this ideathat how do you become the best
you so that you can be inservice to something better.
So when you think about valuesand you attaching values to that
, think about what you value.
If you had to pick out of alist of I don't know, 50, 100
different values, could youdefine five values that matter

(02:25):
to your life?
Is that family, friends,religion, fun, harmony, exercise
, health?
What would those five things be?
And if you can narrow it downfrom all the things that you
could consider values in thislife, you can narrow it down to
the top five in your life.
Then you can determine how theyalign with what you're doing.

(02:47):
Now.
Most people are working, mostpeople have a job.
They're doing something withtheir life.
This idea of do those valuesthat you define align with this
idea of purpose for your life?
Am I doing something thataligns with my value system?
Am I doing something thataligns with who, the best person
that I want to be?

(03:07):
When you think about this ideaof values and then putting it to
this idea of purpose, then youreally get a streamline into
this idea of purpose.
Not that it's coming from someother source, it's coming from
you, from exactly what you havedefined, because you know what
your values are.
You know what you care about.
You know what's going to stopyou from doing something versus

(03:30):
let you do something.
You know what things matter toyou on the scale of priorities,
right, if something isconflicting, what kind of
decision are you going to make?
That's based on your valuesystem.
That we often don't stop andtake the time to think about,
but it's so important that wewant to do that so that we can
really think about well, what isthe purpose that we can get to

(03:52):
that we really, really, reallywant to do and be in service to
others at some point in our life.
So it's really how they connectto each other, because it helps
us align our purpose.
If you figure out your valuesand then you determine what
you're doing and your workdoesn't really align with your
values, you may want to startthinking about is this work what

(04:13):
you really want to do?
Because it's not aligning withyour value system?
So that's how I like to thinkabout it.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
I know a lot of people, including myself,
struggle because when you gothrough life and you can be in
your 40s, 50s, 60s, you knowwhat do I want to do?
I'm like you should havefigured it out by now.
You know what?

Speaker 3 (04:33):
It's okay.
There are people any age canreally start to sit down and
think about this.
It doesn't matter what your ageis, it doesn't matter what you
do in this life, but you can sitand think about your values.
I have a whole list of likevalues, things that you can
consider values, maybe sittingdown and really going through
this list of values and decidingwhat your top five are going to
be.
Don't take a ton of time to dothis, like maybe 10 minutes or

(04:54):
15 minutes, because if you taketoo long you'll second guess
yourself.
But go through the list andthen just start picking them out
Like what do you think, narrowit down and then narrow it down
until you get to your top five.
And then those top five things,think about them right and does
it align with what you do now?
It provides so much clarity foryour purpose and what you
really want to do.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
So if my values change over time, does that mean
that my purpose is getting amakeover too?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
People don't think about it like that.
We change as individuals overtime.
Right, that's just life, and sosometimes our values will
change based on the things thathappen to us, and so our purpose
could possibly change dependingon events of life that happen.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
So, yeah, it could, and I guess the extremes will be
someone's life full of purposeand values that are, let's say,
bench watching TV shows oravoiding vegetables.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Purposes isn't there in your life, you feel like
there isn't a service you wantto do for others.
Maybe that's something thatneeds to be looked at a little
more, and that's how we get intothe next conversation of how
does this impact our mentalhealth.
When we're not thinking aboutour purpose, we're not thinking

(06:16):
about service to other folks,we're not thinking about
becoming our best selves, howdoes that impact your mental
health overall?
So, thinking about mentalhealth in other ways, people
always shy away from mentalhealth.
Okay, let's talk about it adifferent way.
So sometimes getting to itthrough purpose is just another
way to think about it.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yes, I guess value and purpose creates order, and
order brings peace, whichultimately leads to prosperity.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Hey, I like it.
It makes sense I might have touse that one.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Listen, love it.
You have a wonderful rest ofthe day.
We'll see you in the nextepisode.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Sounds good, thanks.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Thank you for tuning into the Doves Inner Beauty
podcast, where we fosteremotional awareness.
One individual at a time For acomplimentary consultation.
Individual at a time For acomplimentary consultation visit
DovesInnerBeautycom or call336-298-6599.

(07:16):
That's 336-298-6599.