The Journey of Healing: Insights from Trauma Recovery Coach Demetria Nickens

What Are Some Of The Most Common Questions Clients Ask During A Discovery Call, And How Do These Help Set The Tone For Their Mental Health Journey?

Wondering how to navigate the complex landscape of emotional healing? Our latest episode of the Dove's Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y. Podcast promises to guide you through the transformative journey with Demetria Nickens, a seasoned trauma recovery coach and mental health first aid instructor. With over two decades of experience, Demetria unveils the myths around quick fixes in therapy, emphasizing the real essence of healing—a lifelong voyage filled with both triumphs and trials. Joined by co-host and producer Garfield Bowen, the conversation delves into the pivotal moments of a discovery call, where initial client interactions set the stage for a meaningful therapeutic relationship.

Demetria's approach is all about understanding and empowerment, steering away from the notion of fixing someone to fostering a space where personal growth is nurtured. She discusses the significance of recognizing that being an adult means having experiences, not being broken. Whether you’re a therapy veteran or just beginning to explore mental health support, tune in to discover how Demetria helps clients manage expectations, learn self-awareness, and embrace a realistic view of recovery. Get ready to embark on a journey where you’re not just surviving but thriving, equipped with the tools to manage and understand life's challenges.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Doves Inner Beauty Podcast, where we
foster emotional awareness oneindividual at a time.
Leading the way is DemetriaNickens, a certified mental
health first aid instructor andtrauma recovery coach with over
two decades of experience infostering emotional awareness in
others by engaging their mentalhealth.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Clients often have pressing concerns during a
discovery call, ranging fromunderstanding what to expect in
therapy to gauging if the coachis the right fit for them.
These initial queries lay thefoundation for a supportive and
effective mental health journey.
Welcome back everyone.
This is Garfield Bowen, co-hostslash producer, back in the

(00:54):
studio with Demetria Nickens.
Demetria, how are you doing?

Speaker 3 (00:58):
I'm doing great.
How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
I'm good, I'm good.
So, demetria, what are some ofthe most common questions
clients ask during the discoverycall, and how does these help
set the tone for their mentalhealth journey?

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Oftentimes, clients will ask what's wrong with me,
right?
Clients will ask, will ask whatcan I do to heal myself?
Immediately, they'll ask what'sthe quick fix to get over this
issue that I'm dealing with?
Unfortunately, those questionsare not things that are easily

(01:36):
answered.
One there is nothing wrong withyou, right?
You are an adult experiencinglife.
When I think about the discoverycall and I think about how I
approach them and how I want tohelp people, I want people to
not see themselves as somethingthat is wrong, inherently wrong
or inherently bad.

(01:56):
I don't want people to seethemselves like that.
I want people to feel seen,heard, understood Right, feel
seen, heard, understood, right.
I need people to know that I amsomeone that is here to listen
to and I'm here to really walkthrough what you want your goals
to be right Not my goals, notmy goals for you right, because
oftentimes people want thingsfor other people but they're not

(02:17):
ready for them.
So, at the end of the day, it'snot about me and what I want,
it's about you and what you want.
And so, when you're looking forthis idea of healing, I also
want to portray this idea thathealing is not yes, you're going
to do something, and in thenext moment you are a quick fix.
I like to think of healing asmore.
You know it's a journey, right?

(02:38):
You're going to be on thisjourney of healing especially
when it comes to trauma for life, and so at the end of the day,
it will get better, things willget better, and your journey
will have these wonderful highs,but you will have lows as well,
and so I try to provide also arealistic view of healing so
that people don't feel like, ohmy gosh, I went to the therapist

(03:00):
and it was great, and then nextthing I know something was
wrong.
So they didn't really help me,they didn't really fix me, and
that's not how it works.
Whether you're with a therapist,a coach or anybody, it's not
about fixing you right.
It's about you learningyourself, learning how to manage
the things that come your wayin a way that serves you instead

(03:21):
of a way that doesn't serve you.
So when I think about thediscovery call, I want to give
people a realistic expectationof the experience I provide
coaching, not therapies, andthen letting them know it's a
journey and that I'm here towalk with them in that journey
for as long as they need me towalk in this journey and that
they got this right.
Don't feel like this isimpossible.

(03:42):
Recovery is absolutely possible, but recovery doesn't mean that
you're healed instantly or thatyou're healed forever, type of
thing.
So I think about all thosethings when I think about the
discovery call and how I try toapproach it and help people.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Is it like just learning how to cope and what to
do when something happens untilyou feel better?

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Well, some of it right.
Some of it is reallyunderstanding and education too
when you know better, you dobetter, type of thing.
So sometimes it's not just thecoping.
It's about learning some of thestuff and understanding what
some of it means.
Learning kind of the key words.
Really, what is trauma and howis it impacting you genuinely?

(04:28):
Learning about who you are as aperson and how you react to
something.
Managing the expectations ofothers and your expectations of
yourself.
Noticing the things that aregoing on in your body and how
you respond.
What are the feelings, what areall these things that are going
on with me.
So it's not just coping.
Coping is a part of it,Absolutely Right, how you cope

(04:49):
matters, but I would say there'sa lot more to it than just
learning how to cope.
I like to call it, I have aframework that I use, called
NAME.
So can you notice, acknowledge,manage and then expectations,
right?
So how do you go through thatprocess?
And when I think about that,that is how I try to help people

(05:09):
through that process and whatthat looks like.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Is there any preparation or what do you
suggest that they gather beforemaking such a call?

Speaker 3 (05:20):
I would say there's no preparation at all involved,
right, it's up to them.
When you decide that you wantto meet with a coach, that you
really want to start thisjourney, you want to start
somewhere, picking up the phone?
I think it is really just thefirst step, right?
Pick up the phone, call me andsay you know what?
I know I need this, but I'm notsure how to go about it.
I'll take it from there, becauseI come with questions to ask

(05:43):
you, just in case you don't knowwhat direction to go in.
So I will help even in thatprocess of like I'm going to ask
, come with a question to askyou that's going to spark
something within you that's likeoh yeah, you know what?
Yes, that's it, I need helpwith that.
And so that's the idea.
Is that, even if you don't knowwhat to say or what to ask, or

(06:05):
you don't have goals that youwant to come with, that's
totally fine.
Come with nothing other than Iknow I want help, but I don't
know what to do next, and I willhit you with a question that's
going to help you really thinkthrough it and we start this
process together.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
What are some of the most common fears or doubts that
people have on the DiscoveryClub?

Speaker 3 (06:27):
I think really that they're not going to be healed,
that they're not going to behelped.
There's nothing that no one cando to truly help them, right?
That's the fear.
The reality is it just takespatience with yourself, it takes
grace with yourself, it takestime.
People often don't see theprogress until somebody else is

(06:49):
helping them point it out.
So this idea that hey, I knowyou didn't notice this, but when
we started talking, like threeweeks ago or two weeks ago, you
said this and you just said this, and that is such a major
change.
And being able to show peoplewhat those changes are is part
of what I help do, right?
Show people that even the minorthings can be changes in how

(07:11):
they start to think or feel oract when they don't even notice
it.
And giving them that validationis almost just as important as
the process itself.
Right, because a lot of peoplehave never been validated in
their life, right?
They've never gotten validationthat anything they've ever said
or done is correct.
And so even just givingvalidation to someone that, hey,

(07:34):
what you're thinking about isokay to think about, or how
you're feeling is okay to feel,or, oh my gosh, you're so right
in that Even something as smallas that.
It seems small to us but it'shuge.
And when you think about theprocess of coaching, when you
think about the process ofsomeone quote unquote in
recovery or healing, it's hugeto the destination.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
So I guess that discovery call is the journey to
healing Demetria.
You've done it again.
Love it.
Catch you on the next episode.
Have a fantastic rest of theday.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Thank you for tuning in to the Dove's Inner Beauty
podcast, where we fosteremotional awareness, one
individual at a time.
For a complimentaryconsultation, visit
DovesInnerBeautycom or call336-298-6599.
That's 336-298-6599.