August 27, 2025 • 20 mins
In this powerful episode of the Early Accountability Podcast, host Kimi Walker sits down with Zulma Williams, licensed clinical social worker, motivational speaker, and founder of Dragonfly Therapy Services. Affectionately known to her audience as “The Swearing Therapist,” Zulma shares her remarkable journey from Buenos Aires to the United States, where she began her bachelor’s degree in social work at age 42 and earned her master’s at 50, all while battling breast cancer and rebuilding her life with purpose and grit. With candor and authenticity, she recounts how her own battles with trauma, anxiety, depression, and major life changes led her to embrace therapy as a calling and forge a career grounded in resilience, humor, and real talk.
Throughout the conversation, Zulma and Kimi explore the importance of consistency, self-compassion, and showing up for yourself one day or one moment at a time. Zulma introduces her empowering approach to therapy, which includes cognitive-behavioral strategies, boundary-setting, and helping clients identify and challenge negative thought patterns. Using memorable metaphors and a no-nonsense attitude, she encourages listeners to become their own heroes by acknowledging their inner strength, embracing progress over perfection, and using life's toughest moments as catalysts for transformation. Her mantra, “I had cancer, cancer didn’t have me,” is a rallying cry for anyone facing adversity.
Topics Covered
- Pursuing a new career path later in life and overcoming personal adversity
- Using cognitive behavioral therapy to reframe negative thoughts
- Strategies for managing anxiety and depression with real-life tools
- Embracing imperfection and showing up with your best effort each day
- How to know when therapy is working and when it might be time to take a break
- Becoming your own hero by recognizing past resilience and celebrating small wins
About Zulma Williams:
Zulma Williams was born and raised in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and immigrated to the United States at the age of 31. At 42, she began her Bachelor of Social Work program, graduating at 46 in December 2011. Just two months later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a lumpectomy. She returned to Argentina for three years before moving back to the U.S. in 2015.
At age 50, Zulma enrolled in a Master of Social Work program, completed her internship, and became fully licensed in 2018. She is the founder of Dragonfly Therapy Services and specializes in trauma, anxiety, and depression.
Connect with Zulma Williams
- Website: https://www.dragonflytherapyservices.net
- Instagram: @theswearingtherapist
- YouTube: @theswearingtherapist
- Facebook: DragonflyTSLV
- LinkedIn: Zulma Williams
- Email: dragonflytslv@gmail.com
Connect with Kimi Walker:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kimi (00:26):
Kimi Walker here and welcome
back to the next episode of the
Early Accountability Podcast.
Today we are here with Zulma, who
is the swearing therapist, and
she is gonna come here today and
tell us just everything about her.
So Zulma is, like we said,
the swearing therapist.
She's actually a licensed
clinical social worker.
Motivational speaker and founder
(00:48):
of Dragonfly Therapy Services,
where she inspires her audience to
discover their inner warrior through
candid approach and powerful story
of overcoming immense adversity.
First off, thank you so much
for coming here to the show.
Thank you.
Thank
Zulma (01:03):
you for having me, Kimi.
I'm super excited.
Kimi (01:05):
We're excited to have you.
Tell us about you.
So, you have a great story.
So you are, you're from overseas
you live here in America.
You started your bachelor's
degree at 42, your master's at 50.
You've went through cancer.
Tell the audience just.
Just start with your journey,
because I think there's a
lot of power in your story.
(01:25):
If you don't mind just telling a little
bit more about you, how you got into
therapy, clinical, social work, and how
you got into being the swearing therapist.
Zulma (01:35):
Okay, let's do it.
So yes, I was born and raised
in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
I moved to the United States at age of 31.
And, I was working in accounting
and I was 42 at the time.
And I was like thinking about the
future and I was like I'm not sure.
(01:57):
I wanna to continue doing
accounting for another 25 years.
So I enrolled in a school with
my Bachelor's of social work.
I was 42, I graduated at 46, and I was
on track to do my master's which is
what I needed , to be a therapist and.
Six weeks after graduation, I
(02:18):
got diagnosed with breast cancer.
So life, is that what happens
when we have other plans, right?
Spoil alert.
I survived.
I'm here.
All my treatment worked, thank God.
But clearly cancer came to show me
how bad I wanted to be a therapist.
'cause it didn't stop me.
It delayed me but nobody would have,
(02:40):
blame me if I was like, ah, no, I'm
not gonna do my masters or whatever.
So I got diagnosed, I got,
surgery and radiation here.
And I moved back to Argentina to be
close to my family in after three
years of being there, I was like,
I'm ready to go back to America.
This is it.
(03:01):
And I asked God for a sign, right?
I'm like, okay, please.
Let me know that this is the right move.
And I got out of nowhere.
I got an email into my personal email
from the university saying, Hey, we have
the master of, so the advanced program.
Do you want to enroll?
(03:22):
So it's like be careful what you ask for
and, I enrolled, I moved back,
and I started my master's at 50.
It was one year of not social
life at all, 'cause like I was
taking four or five classes.
Semester, but I was so clear with what
I wanted to do that I'm like, I'm the
(03:44):
kind of like the mom in the classroom.
Like my classmates are 25 and
they're keeping me young, showing me
Instagram and social media, and I'm
keeping them grounded with real life,
how to overcome real life trauma.
But, I'm the swearing therapist
because I like to keep it real.
(04:04):
It's my way of keep keeping it real.
I worked so hard to found my private
practice, which is called, she mentioned
drag on flight therapy services.
It's a very.
A special name because dragonflies,
they fly on the surface of
the water and they eat all the
bacteria so the light can come in.
(04:27):
So dragonfly symbolizes change
that comes from the inside.
And when you are in therapy, you
are making the changes, right?
So you are creating a
better life for yourself.
I work so hard to have my own
private practice, so I'm not gonna
be sitting there oh, fudge, I'm
gonna say the other word, right?
(04:48):
I'm keeping it clean because I can, it
is been proven that I can keep it clean,
but I like to, I think that life is
too short and, I like to keep it real.
My clients like, are
you ready to get better?
What are going hit the ground running?
I'm not having, I'm not the type of
therapist that's gonna, oh, okay.
(05:10):
Keep me, let's think.
No, are you ready to get better?
I'm the therapist for you.
Otherwise, I'll give you referrals.
It doesn't have to be with me.
Like you want to get better, but
I feel we are not a good match.
I will provide you with referrals.
The important thing is that you are
in this path and you start turning
(05:30):
your life around whatever that means.
To you.
One of the things I like to reinforce
is that when I started my, because
we have, like this black and
white mentality that, oh , I had
to destroy this in order to build
Kimi (05:46):
Yeah.
Zulma (05:47):
And that's not what I did,
when I started my bachelor's, I
was still working in accounting for
three years until I graduated, right?
So I was doing this.
I continue to work in accounting
because I had to pay bills.
Life goes on.
But at the same time I was
creating a different future.
(06:08):
So my present today with my own private
practice, it started back in 2007 when I
took my first English 101 class, right?
Because I started building a different
future where was still doing what I
needed to do in the present moment.
Kimi (06:27):
Okay.
So I wanna talk about consistency.
I talk a lot on this show about the early
stages of new endeavors being accountable.
But consistently we talk
about consistency a lot too.
So you've overcome
challenges such as cancer.
you've talked to online on your podcast
and in social media about abusive
relationships and overcoming depression,
(06:49):
which requires a lot of resilience.
How do you stay consistent in
your efforts and focus on your
mental and professional growth?
During, especially like
difficult times or, as you say,
honoring your inner warrior.
How do you stay consistent with that?
Zulma (07:04):
One day at a time.
One day days are all different, right?
But that's life.
One day I'm like, oh I got this.
And the next day I, it is so
difficult to get out of bed.
But as far as I. Continue to show
up for myself in the best way
that I can at that time, right?
So sometimes our a hundred percent
(07:24):
is over here and sometimes our
a hundred percent is over here.
But regardless of what is at,
it's still a hundred percent.
So when you are having pains or
physical pain, or PMS in or on your
period or whatever it might be, your
a hundred percent might be down here.
But it is not realistic to
(07:45):
expect that a hundred percent
is always going to be up here.
So it's if I still gave a hundred
percent when I'm not feeling like
myself, it's still a hundred percent.
So to be compassionate
toward ourselves that.
A hundred percent will
look different every day.
So that's how you keep the consistency,
(08:06):
not that it how the a hundred
percent looks like, but that you are
giving a hundred percent every day.
Kimi (08:12):
Of what you have to give that day.
Exactly.
Okay, you specialize a lot
in anxiety and depression.
Can you talk more about that, how you got
into that niche or area when it comes to
like therapy and what kind of strategies
do you give for people or someone who
might feel like, okay, I am, I know this,
or I guess maybe what are some signs
(08:33):
people could look for that I need a little
bit more help or assistance managing this?
Zulma (08:36):
Absolutely.
So yes, I specialize in trauma,
anxiety, and depression.
And I think that there
is so common because.
Those are my specialties because
I can connect with that, right?
So I've seen that 80, 90% of the
success of, the, of the therapy
is a therapeutic relationship.
If you don't click with me, we are
not gonna get anywhere because,
(08:58):
you are not gonna open up.
So the way that I. I use a lot of
cognitive behavioral therapy for
anxiety and depression because our
thoughts influence our feelings and our
feelings influence our behaviors, right?
So if I'm thinking I'm not
enough, I'm gonna feel depressed.
Then I'm gonna isolate, but
(09:19):
if so, I focus on the thought.
Because if I change the thought,
then the feelings and the
behaviors are gonna be different.
So my approach is to question
your thoughts all the time, right?
I'm not good enough, or I'm not
smart enough, or the worst is gonna
happen, or I cannot manage this.
(09:39):
Excuse me.
You've been through a lot of
challenges and here you are.
How do I know?
Because you're here.
So none of those challenges that
you been through could take you out.
Why is this challenge different
than the other challenges that
you confronted in your life?
So it's like I'm showing you that, right?
So what I personally call it is not, a
(10:01):
clinical term, but I use a common sense.
Approach.
Okay, I'm anxious and I cannot, do you
watch the news before going to bed?
Yes.
Kimi (10:14):
Right.
Zulma (10:16):
It's okay, if that is
not good for you, stop doing it.
Helping you set the
boundaries for yourself.
So stop watching the news
at five o'clock, right?
I'm not saying don't watch the news, but
don't give that to your brain right before
you go to bed and then you have insomnia.
I wonder why, right?
(10:36):
So it's like when you told
me like, I'm not good enough.
I'm gonna help you.
I like challenge that thought and I,
and you are the one challenging it.
So it's not me telling you
like, oh no, Kimi, you are fine.
It is no.
I ask the questions.
So you come to the conclusion.
That thought is not true, right?
(10:56):
So we are challenging the thought,
but you challenge it in your own
way so that the so cannot stand
anymore because it's not true.
But it doesn't matter if I tell
you like, oh, you are so smart.
You are so beautiful.
You got everything together.
If you don't believe
that, it doesn't matter.
I, because you are not gonna believe it.
(11:17):
So I give you the tools for you to
discover and to challenge this thought
so that you can use those tools.
And use, you carry those tools and
you use them, when you have to.
So I always give this comparison.
If you want to build a house, you go
to Lowe's or Home Depot and you buy
the materials and you buy the tools and
(11:39):
you start building if you want to build
a better life.
I'll provide you with all the tools and
how to use them, but you have to do it
because if, so I'll show you what a hammer
is and what the nails are and how to
use them if you want to hang a picture.
But if I do it for you next time
that you need to hang a picture.
(12:00):
You are gonna need me.
So I'll show you where they
are and how to use them.
But you are the one hanging the picture.
And simply because you have a
hammer doesn't mean you have
to carry it in your purse.
leave it in the garage, right?
But you know what it is for.
So these tools that I provide
you with are not like, oh, for
(12:21):
the one time no, it is like this
metaphor for life because it's like.
Oh, I don't need, I don't have to
call in order to hang the picture.
I know how to do it
Kimi (12:32):
How do you tell people?
So what are some signs or times
or ways you tell or your clients
tell when it's time to end?
So I know some people may need
therapy more long term, like it
may not necessarily be once a week,
but they need to come once a month.
Or how do you tell when it's time, Hey,
I don't think you need therapy right now.
Or we can just do check-ins.
(12:52):
What are some things you look
for, or especially for people
who are thinking like, okay, am
I gonna have to do this forever?
Or, I think that's something I don't
think we've like necessarily talked
about on the show, but I would love
to hear your perspective on that.
Zulma (13:02):
Absolutely.
So it's like we decide
this treatment together.
So when you are running out of stuff
to bring up to the session when.
You started using the tools consistently.
So it's no, you know what?
I was getting anxious, but I
remember to take a deep breath
and use the grounding techniques.
The real therapy happens
(13:24):
in between the sessions.
So when you go out there and you use
the tools that we talk about, right?
So I use a lot of
self-report in determining.
What is best for you?
If you are doing better, I love you, but
what, girl, go live life, like, you have
my number when you need stuff, call me.
So it is more about coming to the
(13:46):
understanding together that you
had gather the tools and sometimes
I always say, when you are in the
picture, you cannot see the picture.
Sometimes it is my job to tell you,
I think that, it's time for you
to either, go live life or like
we do with check-in, in, whatever.
And a lot of clients are like, what?
(14:08):
I'm like, this is this good
news, what are you talking about.
You'll have to continue coming, but
because you have reached a point in your
healing where now maybe you take, you
need to take some time in order to apply
all the tools and continue your own path
to healing, and then something happens.
(14:28):
So healing is not linear, right?
It is like an spiral.
So you are gonna touch the same
subject later on, but you are going
to realize like how far you came.
So we are not looking for perfection,
we're looking for progress, right?
So if whatever made me angry for
a week now makes me angry for
two days, we, I'm doing better.
(14:50):
So it's not about not getting
angry, it's about how I allow
that anger to take over my life.
So when I'm seeing that instead
of like holding grudges, and
ruining my life for a week.
Oh I'm angry, but it is
only for a couple of days.
(15:10):
Yeah.
So we are seeing that progress
and then the next time it might
be one day or a couple of hours.
So it's like you are
seeing your own progress.
And if you are having difficulty
identifying that, that's where I come
in and I'm showing you your progress.
I remember one time with my own therapist,
(15:31):
she was like, okay, you're doing better.
Like we are, moving forward with this job.
I'm like, you anymore.
And she, so she start, she started
listing all my achievements
in therapy and I was like, oh.
Okay then.
And she said, I'm, you have my number.
If you need anything.
(15:52):
It's not oh, don't call me anymore.
It is that you don't need
therapy at this time.
Which doesn't mean.
You're never gonna need therapy again.
So it's like finding that, that
agreement that you and I decide
together on what your treatment will
be and how long it's going to be.
'cause I'm the therapist, but you
(16:13):
are the expert in your own life.
So that's what we are working together.
Kimi (16:17):
You brought up a good example that
I was gonna lead into, about visibility.
And how your therapist brought
up all these, accomplishments for
you and things of that nature.
And I know, you talk a lot about
people finding their internal hero.
How do you
encourage your audience or
individuals, groups, what have you,
to visibly acknowledge and embrace
their strengths and victories.
(16:39):
Even how you say, like you can
struggle and not notice it.
How do you encourage people to be
visible about these and to embrace these?
And that doesn't necessarily mean bragging
about it, but it's how to take power
and ownership in that, and what does it
really mean to be like your internal hero?
Zulma (16:51):
Absolutely.
So I encourage people to recognize
that they have a hundred percent
track record of being successful
and overcoming challenges.
Again, how do I know?
'cause you are here, because
we all go through challenges.
We all go through trauma and you
reflect back in your own life,
at your own challenges and those
(17:13):
challenges could not take you out.
Why is this one different?
You and at the time that you were going
through those challenges, you didn't know
how you were gonna come out of it, right?
Like you're like, oh my God, I
cannot do this, and somewhat.
You did it.
So I always tell the audience, if
you woke up today, that means that
(17:35):
your mission in life is not complete.
So keep putting one foot
in front of the other.
One day at a time, and if one day is
too long, you keep putting one foot
in front of the other one hour at a
time, and if one hour is too long,
you do it for 15 minutes at a time.
Anything that you are going through,
if I ask you can you push through
whatever it is, I don't need to know
(17:57):
it, but whatever it is that you are
confronting, can you push through
this thing for the next 15 minutes?
Yeah.
Okay.
You do that four times is one hour.
24 of those make one day,
seven of those make one week,
and so on and so forth, right?
It's it's not about, if you told me
like, oh my God, the rest of my life
(18:18):
it's so overwhelming, I get paralyzed.
But the next 15 minutes, oh yeah,
I can put my foot in front of the
other for the next 15 minutes.
Rinse and repeat.
Kimi (18:28):
Yes.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
So Zulma, where can the audience
find out more about you?
Where can they go to hear all the
swear words and the cuss words?
If
Zulma (18:37):
all the swear words
that I'm not saying in here.
Yes.
In my Instagram is at
the swearing therapist.
And, they're gonna find a lot
of , videos about mental health
and, my own personal experiences.
My experience in I use a
lot of swear words in there.
Kimi (18:57):
And so you have your
podcast, I listen to your pod.
You actually don't swear that much.
There's a couple f-bombs in there,
but it's not really it's not like
a sailor or anything like that.
You really don't miss that much.
I was like, okay.
It's oh, she probably said the cuss word.
I thought I was like, she
doesn't swear that much.
But yes, the swearing therapist,
so that's on everywhere.
People listen to podcasts, correct?
Zulma (19:16):
Yes.
My podcast is called Keeping It Real
with Zulma, the Swearing Therapist.
And it's all in all the
Kimi (19:23):
Okay,
Zulma (19:23):
Yes.
Kimi (19:25):
Zulma, thank you so much again.
Why don't you leave us, leave
the audience with, what are
some words that you live by?
Do you have a mantra that you use to
guide yourself day in and day out?
Zulma (19:32):
Yes.
My mantra is I had cancer didn't have me.
And that can be used for any
challenge that anybody is confronting.
So either, as I said, it didn't stop me.
It only delayed me.
It is a part of me.
It was a part of me who
that made me who I am today.
But I didn't allow cancer
(19:53):
to take over my life.
I had it.
It didn't have me.
Kimi (19:57):
Thank you so much
for your word, Zulma.
I wanna thank you again for being
on the podcast and thank you so
much for being a guest on the show.
We are so grateful to have
you here, into the audience.
Until next time.
Kimi Walker here and welcome
back to the next episode of the
Early Accountability Podcast.
Today we are here with Zulma, who
is the swearing therapist, and
she is gonna come here today and
tell us just everything about her.
So Zulma is, like we said,
the swearing therapist.
She's actually a licensed
clinical social worker.
Motivational speaker and founder
(00:48):
of Dragonfly Therapy Services,
where she inspires her audience to
discover their inner warrior through
candid approach and powerful story
of overcoming immense adversity.
First off, thank you so much
for coming here to the show.
Thank you.
Thank
Zulma (01:03):
you for having me, Kimi.
I'm super excited.
Kimi (01:05):
We're excited to have you.
Tell us about you.
So, you have a great story.
So you are, you're from overseas
you live here in America.
You started your bachelor's
degree at 42, your master's at 50.
You've went through cancer.
Tell the audience just.
Just start with your journey,
because I think there's a
lot of power in your story.
(01:25):
If you don't mind just telling a little
bit more about you, how you got into
therapy, clinical, social work, and how
you got into being the swearing therapist.
Zulma (01:35):
Okay, let's do it.
So yes, I was born and raised
in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
I moved to the United States at age of 31.
And, I was working in accounting
and I was 42 at the time.
And I was like thinking about the
future and I was like I'm not sure.
(01:57):
I wanna to continue doing
accounting for another 25 years.
So I enrolled in a school with
my Bachelor's of social work.
I was 42, I graduated at 46, and I was
on track to do my master's which is
what I needed , to be a therapist and.
Six weeks after graduation, I
(02:18):
got diagnosed with breast cancer.
So life, is that what happens
when we have other plans, right?
Spoil alert.
I survived.
I'm here.
All my treatment worked, thank God.
But clearly cancer came to show me
how bad I wanted to be a therapist.
'cause it didn't stop me.
It delayed me but nobody would have,
(02:40):
blame me if I was like, ah, no, I'm
not gonna do my masters or whatever.
So I got diagnosed, I got,
surgery and radiation here.
And I moved back to Argentina to be
close to my family in after three
years of being there, I was like,
I'm ready to go back to America.
This is it.
(03:01):
And I asked God for a sign, right?
I'm like, okay, please.
Let me know that this is the right move.
And I got out of nowhere.
I got an email into my personal email
from the university saying, Hey, we have
the master of, so the advanced program.
Do you want to enroll?
(03:22):
So it's like be careful what you ask for
and, I enrolled, I moved back,
and I started my master's at 50.
It was one year of not social
life at all, 'cause like I was
taking four or five classes.
Semester, but I was so clear with what
I wanted to do that I'm like, I'm the
(03:44):
kind of like the mom in the classroom.
Like my classmates are 25 and
they're keeping me young, showing me
Instagram and social media, and I'm
keeping them grounded with real life,
how to overcome real life trauma.
But, I'm the swearing therapist
because I like to keep it real.
(04:04):
It's my way of keep keeping it real.
I worked so hard to found my private
practice, which is called, she mentioned
drag on flight therapy services.
It's a very.
A special name because dragonflies,
they fly on the surface of
the water and they eat all the
bacteria so the light can come in.
(04:27):
So dragonfly symbolizes change
that comes from the inside.
And when you are in therapy, you
are making the changes, right?
So you are creating a
better life for yourself.
I work so hard to have my own
private practice, so I'm not gonna
be sitting there oh, fudge, I'm
gonna say the other word, right?
(04:48):
I'm keeping it clean because I can, it
is been proven that I can keep it clean,
but I like to, I think that life is
too short and, I like to keep it real.
My clients like, are
you ready to get better?
What are going hit the ground running?
I'm not having, I'm not the type of
therapist that's gonna, oh, okay.
(05:10):
Keep me, let's think.
No, are you ready to get better?
I'm the therapist for you.
Otherwise, I'll give you referrals.
It doesn't have to be with me.
Like you want to get better, but
I feel we are not a good match.
I will provide you with referrals.
The important thing is that you are
in this path and you start turning
(05:30):
your life around whatever that means.
To you.
One of the things I like to reinforce
is that when I started my, because
we have, like this black and
white mentality that, oh , I had
to destroy this in order to build
Kimi (05:46):
Yeah.
Zulma (05:47):
And that's not what I did,
when I started my bachelor's, I
was still working in accounting for
three years until I graduated, right?
So I was doing this.
I continue to work in accounting
because I had to pay bills.
Life goes on.
But at the same time I was
creating a different future.
(06:08):
So my present today with my own private
practice, it started back in 2007 when I
took my first English 101 class, right?
Because I started building a different
future where was still doing what I
needed to do in the present moment.
Kimi (06:27):
Okay.
So I wanna talk about consistency.
I talk a lot on this show about the early
stages of new endeavors being accountable.
But consistently we talk
about consistency a lot too.
So you've overcome
challenges such as cancer.
you've talked to online on your podcast
and in social media about abusive
relationships and overcoming depression,
(06:49):
which requires a lot of resilience.
How do you stay consistent in
your efforts and focus on your
mental and professional growth?
During, especially like
difficult times or, as you say,
honoring your inner warrior.
How do you stay consistent with that?
Zulma (07:04):
One day at a time.
One day days are all different, right?
But that's life.
One day I'm like, oh I got this.
And the next day I, it is so
difficult to get out of bed.
But as far as I. Continue to show
up for myself in the best way
that I can at that time, right?
So sometimes our a hundred percent
(07:24):
is over here and sometimes our
a hundred percent is over here.
But regardless of what is at,
it's still a hundred percent.
So when you are having pains or
physical pain, or PMS in or on your
period or whatever it might be, your
a hundred percent might be down here.
But it is not realistic to
(07:45):
expect that a hundred percent
is always going to be up here.
So it's if I still gave a hundred
percent when I'm not feeling like
myself, it's still a hundred percent.
So to be compassionate
toward ourselves that.
A hundred percent will
look different every day.
So that's how you keep the consistency,
(08:06):
not that it how the a hundred
percent looks like, but that you are
giving a hundred percent every day.
Kimi (08:12):
Of what you have to give that day.
Exactly.
Okay, you specialize a lot
in anxiety and depression.
Can you talk more about that, how you got
into that niche or area when it comes to
like therapy and what kind of strategies
do you give for people or someone who
might feel like, okay, I am, I know this,
or I guess maybe what are some signs
(08:33):
people could look for that I need a little
bit more help or assistance managing this?
Zulma (08:36):
Absolutely.
So yes, I specialize in trauma,
anxiety, and depression.
And I think that there
is so common because.
Those are my specialties because
I can connect with that, right?
So I've seen that 80, 90% of the
success of, the, of the therapy
is a therapeutic relationship.
If you don't click with me, we are
not gonna get anywhere because,
(08:58):
you are not gonna open up.
So the way that I. I use a lot of
cognitive behavioral therapy for
anxiety and depression because our
thoughts influence our feelings and our
feelings influence our behaviors, right?
So if I'm thinking I'm not
enough, I'm gonna feel depressed.
Then I'm gonna isolate, but
(09:19):
if so, I focus on the thought.
Because if I change the thought,
then the feelings and the
behaviors are gonna be different.
So my approach is to question
your thoughts all the time, right?
I'm not good enough, or I'm not
smart enough, or the worst is gonna
happen, or I cannot manage this.
(09:39):
Excuse me.
You've been through a lot of
challenges and here you are.
How do I know?
Because you're here.
So none of those challenges that
you been through could take you out.
Why is this challenge different
than the other challenges that
you confronted in your life?
So it's like I'm showing you that, right?
So what I personally call it is not, a
(10:01):
clinical term, but I use a common sense.
Approach.
Okay, I'm anxious and I cannot, do you
watch the news before going to bed?
Yes.
Kimi (10:14):
Right.
Zulma (10:16):
It's okay, if that is
not good for you, stop doing it.
Helping you set the
boundaries for yourself.
So stop watching the news
at five o'clock, right?
I'm not saying don't watch the news, but
don't give that to your brain right before
you go to bed and then you have insomnia.
I wonder why, right?
(10:36):
So it's like when you told
me like, I'm not good enough.
I'm gonna help you.
I like challenge that thought and I,
and you are the one challenging it.
So it's not me telling you
like, oh no, Kimi, you are fine.
It is no.
I ask the questions.
So you come to the conclusion.
That thought is not true, right?
(10:56):
So we are challenging the thought,
but you challenge it in your own
way so that the so cannot stand
anymore because it's not true.
But it doesn't matter if I tell
you like, oh, you are so smart.
You are so beautiful.
You got everything together.
If you don't believe
that, it doesn't matter.
I, because you are not gonna believe it.
(11:17):
So I give you the tools for you to
discover and to challenge this thought
so that you can use those tools.
And use, you carry those tools and
you use them, when you have to.
So I always give this comparison.
If you want to build a house, you go
to Lowe's or Home Depot and you buy
the materials and you buy the tools and
(11:39):
you start building if you want to build
a better life.
I'll provide you with all the tools and
how to use them, but you have to do it
because if, so I'll show you what a hammer
is and what the nails are and how to
use them if you want to hang a picture.
But if I do it for you next time
that you need to hang a picture.
(12:00):
You are gonna need me.
So I'll show you where they
are and how to use them.
But you are the one hanging the picture.
And simply because you have a
hammer doesn't mean you have
to carry it in your purse.
leave it in the garage, right?
But you know what it is for.
So these tools that I provide
you with are not like, oh, for
(12:21):
the one time no, it is like this
metaphor for life because it's like.
Oh, I don't need, I don't have to
call in order to hang the picture.
I know how to do it
Kimi (12:32):
How do you tell people?
So what are some signs or times
or ways you tell or your clients
tell when it's time to end?
So I know some people may need
therapy more long term, like it
may not necessarily be once a week,
but they need to come once a month.
Or how do you tell when it's time, Hey,
I don't think you need therapy right now.
Or we can just do check-ins.
(12:52):
What are some things you look
for, or especially for people
who are thinking like, okay, am
I gonna have to do this forever?
Or, I think that's something I don't
think we've like necessarily talked
about on the show, but I would love
to hear your perspective on that.
Zulma (13:02):
Absolutely.
So it's like we decide
this treatment together.
So when you are running out of stuff
to bring up to the session when.
You started using the tools consistently.
So it's no, you know what?
I was getting anxious, but I
remember to take a deep breath
and use the grounding techniques.
The real therapy happens
(13:24):
in between the sessions.
So when you go out there and you use
the tools that we talk about, right?
So I use a lot of
self-report in determining.
What is best for you?
If you are doing better, I love you, but
what, girl, go live life, like, you have
my number when you need stuff, call me.
So it is more about coming to the
(13:46):
understanding together that you
had gather the tools and sometimes
I always say, when you are in the
picture, you cannot see the picture.
Sometimes it is my job to tell you,
I think that, it's time for you
to either, go live life or like
we do with check-in, in, whatever.
And a lot of clients are like, what?
(14:08):
I'm like, this is this good
news, what are you talking about.
You'll have to continue coming, but
because you have reached a point in your
healing where now maybe you take, you
need to take some time in order to apply
all the tools and continue your own path
to healing, and then something happens.
(14:28):
So healing is not linear, right?
It is like an spiral.
So you are gonna touch the same
subject later on, but you are going
to realize like how far you came.
So we are not looking for perfection,
we're looking for progress, right?
So if whatever made me angry for
a week now makes me angry for
two days, we, I'm doing better.
(14:50):
So it's not about not getting
angry, it's about how I allow
that anger to take over my life.
So when I'm seeing that instead
of like holding grudges, and
ruining my life for a week.
Oh I'm angry, but it is
only for a couple of days.
(15:10):
Yeah.
So we are seeing that progress
and then the next time it might
be one day or a couple of hours.
So it's like you are
seeing your own progress.
And if you are having difficulty
identifying that, that's where I come
in and I'm showing you your progress.
I remember one time with my own therapist,
(15:31):
she was like, okay, you're doing better.
Like we are, moving forward with this job.
I'm like, you anymore.
And she, so she start, she started
listing all my achievements
in therapy and I was like, oh.
Okay then.
And she said, I'm, you have my number.
If you need anything.
(15:52):
It's not oh, don't call me anymore.
It is that you don't need
therapy at this time.
Which doesn't mean.
You're never gonna need therapy again.
So it's like finding that, that
agreement that you and I decide
together on what your treatment will
be and how long it's going to be.
'cause I'm the therapist, but you
(16:13):
are the expert in your own life.
So that's what we are working together.
Kimi (16:17):
You brought up a good example that
I was gonna lead into, about visibility.
And how your therapist brought
up all these, accomplishments for
you and things of that nature.
And I know, you talk a lot about
people finding their internal hero.
How do you
encourage your audience or
individuals, groups, what have you,
to visibly acknowledge and embrace
their strengths and victories.
(16:39):
Even how you say, like you can
struggle and not notice it.
How do you encourage people to be
visible about these and to embrace these?
And that doesn't necessarily mean bragging
about it, but it's how to take power
and ownership in that, and what does it
really mean to be like your internal hero?
Zulma (16:51):
Absolutely.
So I encourage people to recognize
that they have a hundred percent
track record of being successful
and overcoming challenges.
Again, how do I know?
'cause you are here, because
we all go through challenges.
We all go through trauma and you
reflect back in your own life,
at your own challenges and those
(17:13):
challenges could not take you out.
Why is this one different?
You and at the time that you were going
through those challenges, you didn't know
how you were gonna come out of it, right?
Like you're like, oh my God, I
cannot do this, and somewhat.
You did it.
So I always tell the audience, if
you woke up today, that means that
(17:35):
your mission in life is not complete.
So keep putting one foot
in front of the other.
One day at a time, and if one day is
too long, you keep putting one foot
in front of the other one hour at a
time, and if one hour is too long,
you do it for 15 minutes at a time.
Anything that you are going through,
if I ask you can you push through
whatever it is, I don't need to know
(17:57):
it, but whatever it is that you are
confronting, can you push through
this thing for the next 15 minutes?
Yeah.
Okay.
You do that four times is one hour.
24 of those make one day,
seven of those make one week,
and so on and so forth, right?
It's it's not about, if you told me
like, oh my God, the rest of my life
(18:18):
it's so overwhelming, I get paralyzed.
But the next 15 minutes, oh yeah,
I can put my foot in front of the
other for the next 15 minutes.
Rinse and repeat.
Kimi (18:28):
Yes.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
So Zulma, where can the audience
find out more about you?
Where can they go to hear all the
swear words and the cuss words?
If
Zulma (18:37):
all the swear words
that I'm not saying in here.
Yes.
In my Instagram is at
the swearing therapist.
And, they're gonna find a lot
of , videos about mental health
and, my own personal experiences.
My experience in I use a
lot of swear words in there.
Kimi (18:57):
And so you have your
podcast, I listen to your pod.
You actually don't swear that much.
There's a couple f-bombs in there,
but it's not really it's not like
a sailor or anything like that.
You really don't miss that much.
I was like, okay.
It's oh, she probably said the cuss word.
I thought I was like, she
doesn't swear that much.
But yes, the swearing therapist,
so that's on everywhere.
People listen to podcasts, correct?
Zulma (19:16):
Yes.
My podcast is called Keeping It Real
with Zulma, the Swearing Therapist.
And it's all in all the
Kimi (19:23):
Okay,
Zulma (19:23):
Yes.
Kimi (19:25):
Zulma, thank you so much again.
Why don't you leave us, leave
the audience with, what are
some words that you live by?
Do you have a mantra that you use to
guide yourself day in and day out?
Zulma (19:32):
Yes.
My mantra is I had cancer didn't have me.
And that can be used for any
challenge that anybody is confronting.
So either, as I said, it didn't stop me.
It only delayed me.
It is a part of me.
It was a part of me who
that made me who I am today.
But I didn't allow cancer
(19:53):
to take over my life.
I had it.
It didn't have me.
Kimi (19:57):
Thank you so much
for your word, Zulma.
I wanna thank you again for being
on the podcast and thank you so
much for being a guest on the show.
We are so grateful to have
you here, into the audience.
Until next time.
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