March 26, 2025 • 40 mins
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What To Do When You Overeat–During Weight Loss!
Your nervous system controls more in your everyday life than you’ve probably ever thought about. When you hear things like “reduce your stress” really what that means is to regulate your nervous system.
Leah Davidson is my guest expert today to teach us exactly that. She is a life coach and a speech language pathologist, where her primary work was with traumatic brain injury. She learned so much from that population regarding nervous system regulation that she realized we are ALL dealing with dysregulated nervous systems.
You’ll learn some great questions to ask yourself when you feel your energy rising–a sure sign that your nervous system is becoming activated. All this will help with your choices in the kitchen with your nutrition and with your other health behaviors!
More from Well with Lisa:
- Schedule your free consult session: wellwithlisa.as.me
- Let's be friends! Follow me on instagram: @well_with_lisa
- Your Go-To Meal Guide: grab it HERE
More about Leah Davidson:
- Website: leahdavidsonlifecoaching.com
- Podcast: listen here
- Buy Leah's Resilience Journal!
Leah Davidson is a Nervous System Resilience Coach and Speech Language Pathologist with over 26 years working in the area of traumatic brain injury. She hosts the Building Resilience Podcast, offers an Advanced Nervous System Resilience Training, a monthly membership called Connections with a focus on learning to befriend your personal nervous system, and a fun journaling and doodling community called the Nervous System Journaling Club. Leah is also the founder of Resilient Brilliance, a stationery brand focused on emotional wellbeing and nervous system care. She lives in Toronto with her husband and has a blended family of five grown kids. She loves to spend time with family and friends, travel, learn, read, walk, journal and doodle her nervous system.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is the Eat Well Think WellLive Well podcast.
(00:02):
I'm Lisa Salisbury and this isepisode 140.
Regulating Your Nervous Systemwith Leah Davidson.
I.
Your nervous system is the basisfor how you feel and function
every day.
Leah Davidson is an expert onbuilding resilience in the
nervous system, and we talk allabout what the nervous system is
and why it's important for it tobe regulated in order to make
(00:23):
the choices we want to make withour health and nutrition.
You will walk away from thisepisode knowing way more about
stress and regulation and somegreat questions to ask yourself
when you feel your energyrising.
Welcome to eat well.
Well, the podcast for busy womenwho want to lose weight without
(00:43):
constantly counting, tracking,or stressing over every bite.
I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certifiedhealth weight loss and life
coach, and most importantly, arecovered chronic dieter here.
You'll learn to listen to yourbody and uncover the reasons
you're reaching for food.
When you're not truly hungry,freeing you to focus on a
healthier, more fulfillingapproach to eating.
Lisa (01:06):
Welcome back to the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well
podcast.
I am super excited to bespeaking with Leah Davidson
today.
She is a speech languagepathologist and a certified life
coach and we are going to betalking about her very awesome
specialty, which is the nervoussystem.
So welcome, Leah.
(01:26):
If you could give us a littleintroduction to yourself in your
work, um, maybe how you came tothat, that would be great.
And then we'll get into ourconversation.
Leah Davidson (01:35):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forhaving me on the podcast.
So my name is Leah Davidson.
I am from Toronto, Ontario,Canada.
And I am, like you said, a lifecoach as well as a speech
language pathologist.
And to give that some context,I've been a speech path for over
26 years, working in the areaprimarily of traumatic brain
(01:56):
injury.
And that is kind of where Istarted learning about the brain
and neuroplasticity and brainhealth and eventually the
nervous system.
Um, because I just saw that alot of the work that I was doing
with clients, most of them hadsuffered traumatic brain
injuries through accidents, andI was helping them in the area
(02:17):
of something called cognitivecommunication.
And I started to have thisrealization that a lot of the
challenges I was trying to helpUm, Uh, So, I had to start
backtracking and start doingsome nervous system work, um, in
order for us to move ahead withsome of our other cognitive
(02:39):
strategies.
So eventually I just startedworking with people who didn't
have brain injuries.
And start to see, hey, we allhave the same nervous system,
the same brain, the samechallenges.
And then it just has become moreand more niche.
My passion is really the nervoussystem.
I have an advanced training, Ihave a membership, and I just
(02:59):
put out a guided journal, um,that helps people to learn all
about their nervous systembecause I truly believe it is
foundational to everything,everything that we do, not just
that we do in coaching, buteverything that we do, period.
Well,
Lisa (03:20):
I got it in preparation for having Leah on the podcast.
So I'm really excited to diveinto this topic, learn a little
bit more and then continue onwith that journal.
And obviously I usually saythis.
Kind of thing at the end, butwe'll put the link to that in
the show notes.
It is on Amazon and comes inthree beautiful colors.
So there you go.
(03:41):
So let's, let's talk about,that's not, I mean, this is not
just to be clear.
This isn't a sales pitch for thejournal.
I, that was kind of a side note.
I was like, Oh, let's have Leahon.
And by the way, she also justfinished publishing this.
Leah Davidson (03:55):
I think the reason I created the journal is
because I do have this beliefthat it is foundational for us
and most of us, um, most of ushave heard of the nervous
system.
I'll probably just dive intowhat your question was going to
be of what is the nervous
Lisa (04:10):
What is your, yeah, let's just start.
What, what is the nervoussystem?
What are we even talking about?
Leah Davidson (04:14):
well, that's it because most of us know like
we've heard nervous system.
We probably talked about it inbiology class
Lisa (04:19):
Mm hmm.
Leah Davidson (04:20):
But we don't really understand what it does
and the role that it has in oureveryday life so just to put it
simply it's made up of like theyou know, the brain and the
spinal cord and all theconnections between and So it's
the main communication betweenthe brain and the body and a
large part of the nervous systemis something called the The
(04:40):
cranial nerve that's called thevagus nerve.
So a lot of people have heard ofthat vagus nerve.
It's all over It's very popularin social media and really
essentially what that is is thecollection of nerve fibers It
starts kind of in the brain stemarea the back and then it has
branches that course to the faceand innervates, you know, the,
the larynx and comes down to theheart and then down to all the
(05:03):
organs.
And the interesting thing aboutthis cranial nerve is it's
primarily responsible forgetting us to calm down, to get
to what we call rest and digest.
And it travels bi directionally,meaning signals are sent from
the brain to the body, andsignals are also sent from the
(05:23):
body up to the brain, exceptthere is a little bit of a, I
call it in the journal, the 8020 rule, 20 percent of the
fibers go from the brain to thebody and 80 percent come from
the body to the
Lisa (05:36):
Oh, that's way more than I thought.
Leah Davidson (05:38):
Yeah, it kind of speaks to the importance of how
we can't be doing things inisolation.
We need to be having both thebrain and the body.
So the role of the nervoussystem, communicate, it's
responsible for our survival.
And it is running everythingthat we do from behind the
scenes So it is what is runningyour heartbeat and your breath
(06:02):
and your digestive system and itdoes it automatically Thank
goodness because you wouldn'twant to have to be you know,
worrying about controlling allthose things And it is
Lisa (06:11):
Sorry.
Look, let me interrupt you therefrom, like, from thinking about
biology class.
Isn't there, like, two parts,like, one that's doing all of
that without us knowing and theother part that's more
cognitive?
Leah Davidson (06:22):
yes Well, so exactly so we have like what
we're talking about is theautonomic nervous
Lisa (06:28):
Yes.
I couldn't think of the word.
Leah Davidson (06:30):
Yeah, this is running the show.
The autonomic nervous system'srunning the show.
And the main job is to scan forsafety and danger because it's
trying to keep us alive.
And if it scans and how it sortof scans is it's looking around
for clues of safety and danger.
It's looking externally.
So it's going to look at likeall our senses.
(06:52):
What's going on?
What do you hear?
What do you see?
see what, what can you touch?
It's taking in that information.
It's also taking in what's goingon internally for you.
Is your heart rate changing?
Is your stomach changing?
Are you sweating a little bit?
And then it's looking betweenyou and I.
So you and I, we don't know eachother really well.
Our nervous systems right noware checking each other out.
(07:12):
We're sort of like, are yousafe?
Like, and, and we feed off oftone and facial expressions.
Like right now you're nodding.
So my nervous system is like, Ohyeah, Lisa is safe.
Like, okay, and it gives thatconfirmation.
So it gathers all these cues bysomething called neuroception,
and it's almost like we havethese spidey senses.
It's all unconscious.
(07:33):
And based on all these clues, mynervous system is going to
decide whether I'm safe ordangerous.
It kind of takes in these cluesand it does a comparison to all
my past life experience.
And it's like a predictor.
Okay, well, in the past, thesekind of clues have been safe.
So, she's safe, we're all good,and we just move ahead, and we
(07:56):
have a conversation, and youknow, we're very, um, you know,
it's easy going, and it'sconfident, and we're patient
with each other, and we'recurious, and we have compassion.
So that's if things are safe.
But if we're scanning,constantly scanning, and there's
some cues that are, uh, it's alittle bit, something's off
(08:17):
there, or something'sunfamiliar, or something is I'm
picking up from maybe my pastthat I don't even know is there,
but is triggering.
My nervous system is like, thisis danger.
And because it's responsibilityis survival, my nervous system
(08:37):
is going to get into a state ofprotection.
It's like, okay, Leah's indanger, we've got to protect
her.
And the first line of protectionis we're going to increase the
energy in her body.
We're going to get her moreactivated.
So that's why we start to feel arise.
We start to feel a little bitmore on edge.
And this is where you'veprobably heard of fight or
(08:59):
flight.
This is where it comes in.
We, our system goes into thesystem of protection and it is
going to be flavored usuallywith energy.
Sometimes it's with aggression,but it could be with anxiety.
So it could be, you know, sortof anger, defensiveness.
But it could also be like worryand anxiety and concern.
(09:22):
The state that we're in flavorseverything.
It flavors our thoughts, itflavors our feelings, it flavors
our emotions, and I'll give youan example in just a second.
But the other thing that canhappen is say I sense It's
extreme danger or I've beenactivated for so long my nervous
(09:43):
system is like, okay, we'regoing to crash here.
We need to start conserving someenergy and it will bring me down
to another state of protection,which is where things are more
shut down.
It's more collapsed and this isa state of hypo arousal.
It's still a protective state.
It's trying to protect us, butit is more of.
(10:05):
Yeah.
Well, it's, it's like ashutdown.
Now a combination of both ofthem is a free state.
It's sort of like I'm wired, butI'm shut down and that is
freeze.
So those are protective modesfor the nervous system.
And it's, it's brilliantly doingthat because it's taking care of
us for our survival.
The key thing about these statesand understanding why is it so
(10:27):
important that you understandthese states and understand what
happens to you when you go intoone of these states.
is because they're behind thescenes.
Everything that you think, feel,and do is going to be flavored
by the state that you're in.
So, an example I like to use isif I am in a activated state, I
(10:51):
call it team hyper.
We go into a hyper arousedstate.
If I'm in this team hyper stateand you say to me, Leah, where
did you get your hair done?
I might say to you, why, what'swrong with my hair?
You don't like it?
Like, why would you want to knowwhere I get my hair done?
Like, there's this flavor ofdefensiveness because I'm
(11:12):
activated.
Now, if I'm the opposite and I'min more of a hypo state, I call
it team hypo, then I may belike, Oh my gosh, I know my hair
is so terrible.
It's awful.
I need to find a new hairdresserand really just everything will
be down flavored that way.
If I'm in a safe state, I'm inmy home state, I feel good.
(11:34):
I call it team resilient becauseI have the ability to go with
the ups and downs.
I may be like, Oh, I just got itdown in the corner of Queen
Street.
Her name is Fiona.
Would you like her number?
So you see it taints all myinteractions.
It taints my perspectives.
It taints like what I'm going tosay to you, how I'm going to say
it, my tone of voice.
(11:54):
It even taints.
It's my posture, my bodylanguage.
And so we want to be aware of itbecause sometimes we think, why
did I act that way?
Lisa (12:07):
hmm.
Mm
Leah Davidson (12:08):
it's because our nervous system is there.
And because our nervous systemis in a certain state, it is
fueling the way we think, feeland act.
Lisa (12:18):
Okay, whoo.
That's like a lot ofinformation.
That's so good.
So good.
Leah Davidson (12:23):
Put you into a state of dysregulation just
listening to
Lisa (12:26):
Yeah, totally.
I'm like, there's so much tolearn.
Um, so there's more to ask onthat.
But before we get into morelearning there, I want to, tie
this into the theme of ourpodcast.
My listeners are generally on ahealth and or weight loss
trajectory.
They're looking to improvetheir, their nutrition to, I
(12:49):
mean, I had a guest on a coupleof weeks ago, we were talking
about improving our nutritionbased on wanting to have our
health span match our lifespanas far as warding off dementia,
you know, so there's lots ofreasons to be changing your
diet, not just weight loss, butwe do have a weight loss
component here.
So, um, What does the nervoussystem and all of that have to
do with weight loss?
(13:11):
And how can we access thisinformation about the nervous
system to help us in thoseefforts?
Leah Davidson (13:19):
So when you're assigned to a state based on
your biological response tothings that are happening, often
we get dysregulated.
So we will just naturally becomein a hyper state or a hypo
state.
Have spent a lot of time in ahyper state like you think like
(13:41):
if you're feeling chronicallybusy On edge all the time
stressed out at the time chancesare you spent a lot of time in a
hyper state?
Well our nervous system itactually wants to get to a
regulated place It wants toreturn to homeostasis.
So it tries to do things toregulate itself.
(14:02):
So if I'm stressed out orfeeling overwhelmed and anxious
from a young age.
What did we use?
We used food.
Like when you're a baby.
Oh, you're crying.
You're upset.
What happened?
Bottle in your mouth, you know,something happens and we start
using food.
So often what happens for peopleis they don't want to feel their
(14:26):
emotions or they they've neverexperienced their emotions or
there's discomfort or they're sodysregulated that eating We'll
give this false sense ofregulation because it kind of
feels good, right?
Like, you know, you're stressedout and everything, and I have
that piece of cake.
I feel good for a few secondsuntil I don't anymore.
(14:49):
And then I drop into a differentstate of dysregulation.
And
Lisa (14:52):
is where I.
This is where I always say, foodworks, that's why we do it,
because food works.
And so, when my clients attackthemselves for like, being upset
that they overate again orwhatever, I'm like, because food
works, it's okay, like let'smove on and, and um, although I
(15:13):
don't have the same nervoussystem training that you do, I
am trying to help them get backto realizing that they did that
because of their biological, um,Um, upbringing.
And, yeah.
I mean, I
Leah Davidson (15:28):
that.
Essentially, it's because of thenervous system.
Like what you're teaching themis like, no, you're doing it
because it is regulating.
This is, this is what we, so alot of times people, the beauty
of learning about your nervoussystem is you start to realize
it's not a moral failing.
It's not a weakness.
You're not a bad person.
Again, you literally have beendysregulated and you
(15:51):
brilliantly.
Learned that food is a great wayto regulate, or whatever it is
that you do.
People do different things.
We brilliantly learn how toadapt to this discomfort of
dysregulation, trying to bringourselves down into regulation.
These are all adaptations.
(16:12):
They're not weaknesses.
They're not moral failings.
It's not like you're broken.
It literally is.
Oh, my nervous system is doingthis because it's trying to get
me back to home.
And then the understanding whenyou start to see this is what
the nervous system is doing,this is when we can start making
the transition to, okay, thankyou system for taking care of
(16:35):
me, but I'd like to come up withanother way to regulate that is
much more permanent, that ismuch healthier.
We start moving towards findingthose tools.
Lisa (16:49):
Perfect.
Okay, so what are some of theways that we can do some self
regulation?
And in the, in the face of justkind of chronic stress, maybe
you had, you know, conversationwith your child or you spent
time with your aging parent andyou're kind of feeling on edge
(17:10):
or, and you're wanting to youknow, look to food, how can we
regulate before that happens?
Leah Davidson (17:18):
Yeah.
So I like to describe it topeople like it's kind of like
Once you learn about yournervous system, you're joining
the nervous system sports leagueand you're signing up for a few
things you're signing up one isokay, you're going to join this
team.
There's some fundamental lifethings that you want to be
(17:38):
working on like your sleep andhaving proper nutrition and
getting movement and connectionand things like that.
And then there's things likeyou're going to come to practice
every day.
And so there's things that wewant to be doing.
I'm going to do a daily basis,it doesn't have to be long, but
things like, you know, yourstress keeps building up every
single day, you need an outletfor it every single day.
(18:02):
And it doesn't have to be like,I'm going to do an hour run.
It may be that you're going todo a 10 minute walk, or you are
going to do something, um, um,drawing or you're going to do
some journaling or you're goingto hug somebody or you're going
to have a good cry.
Every day we need to be doingthings that releases our stress
(18:22):
and every day we need to betraining our nervous system to
tell it that it is safe.
So a lot of these thingsactivities that we do.
They sort of work on, on twolevels.
They work on releasing stressand they work on sort of
increasing our capacity to feelthings, increasing our capacity
(18:42):
to be healthy individuals.
So that's great, like doingthings on a daily basis.
It doesn't have to be longthings, just little drops along
the way.
But then you get to the game.
And the game is you're sittingin the waiting room with your
mother at the doctor'sappointment feeling that energy
rise.
It would be great if you couldjust say, Oh, I'm feeling the
(19:04):
energy rise.
I'm going to go for a quick walkaround the block.
And if you can go do that, butnormally that won't happen.
Or you're having a conversationwith your, your child face to
face.
And, you know, you can feel yourenergy rising.
And again, you can't be like,I'm gonna go meditate and then
I'll get back to thisconversation.
You need some tools to do realtime in the moment.
(19:27):
And what it is, is it's selfregulation in the moment.
And there's a couple of thingsthat we need to do in order to
regulate ourselves.
And I call it the safetysequence.
I actually go through it in thejournal.
But the first thing is, we know.
that we're neurocepting all thetime, safety and danger.
So if you start to feelactivated, you can get a sense
(19:50):
that your nervous system isfeeling some danger.
So we've got to check in and saylike, we're not in danger.
Like you may be sitting herestarting to feel activated, but
go through, like look aroundyou.
I'm like sitting on a chair.
I can, you know, my hands aretouching, you know, my legs.
I can look around and see thingsin the room.
(20:11):
I am safe.
And unless we're like in a warzone or we're like in this
violent situation, 99 percent ofthe time we are safe and not.
In the present moment, not like,well, I wasn't safe when I was
doing this and potentially thiscould happen.
No, we're looking at, are yousafe in this moment?
(20:34):
And 99 percent of the time, theanswer is yes.
So you're always askingyourself, you know, and I put my
hand to my heart.
Am I safe?
Yes, Leah, you're safe.
So that kind of sends a messageto the brain.
That you're safe, but the nextpiece is my body doesn't believe
that because my body is like Iknow you're saying you're safe
But I feel like crap right now.
So what
Lisa (20:53):
you're talking about physically safe, not emotionally
safe.
Is that correct?
Okay.
Physically safe.
We're not physically in danger.
Leah Davidson (21:00):
yeah You're not physically in danger Your brain
needs to know that because it isnever going to relax if you are
in physical danger And we don'twant it to If you're in physical
danger, you need to be activatedso you can take action.
The majority of the time, we'renot being chased by a tiger,
like we're not in physical, wemay feel discomfort because
somebody is being rude to us orI've got so many things on my
(21:23):
list to do, but we establish thephysical safety.
The next piece is we go into ourbody and when you go into your
body, that's when you startlike, yeah, I don't feel safe
though.
Like, I don't feel, I feelheaviness in my chest, maybe my
brain is spinning, maybe my gutis upset, maybe I'm sweating, I
feel this energy rising.
And we're just gonna drop intoour body and allow ourselves to
(21:47):
notice what is going on in ourbody.
So I call it, asking yourselfthe question, do I feel safe?
And often the answer is no.
And those questions, am I safe,do I feel safe, they're kind of
interchangeable.
Sometimes we feel things firstand then we want to confirm.
Sometimes we can confirm thingsand then go into our body, so
it's interchangeable.
(22:08):
And then the third step is wewant to acutely relax our body
in some way.
And I recommend just two simpleways.
There's a whole bunch of ways,but the first way I recommend is
what I call the rag doll.
Where you literally just letyour body drop, release the
tension, it's almost like youtense it up a little bit and
(22:30):
then just drop.
And you can do like a full onragdoll if you're like in the
privacy of a room.
If you're in the waiting room,it's likely you're not going to
stand up and do a full onragdoll, but what you can do is
sort of slump down a little bit,relax your butt, relax your
shoulders, relax every, let yourhands.
Hang down, no one will even knowthat you're doing it.
(22:52):
Or you can do something like aslow and low exhale.
So you're just gonna breathe andreally start with that
exhalation.
'cause exhalation is whatactivates the vagus nerve, which
activates our rest and digestsystem.
Helps us completely relax.
So when we do those threethings, what happens is our,
(23:15):
we're sending a message to ourbody.
We're safe, we're relaxing ourbody.
And a relaxed body that is in asafe environment cannot house
stress.
And when I say that to people,I'm like, a relaxed body cannot
house stress.
I want you to think about whenyou're angry at somebody and you
(23:36):
go to yell at them.
Maybe it's like one of yourkids.
Try being in a complete ragdollrelaxed body.
And yell.
You can't do it.
Lisa (23:48):
me laugh because I'm like, I don't know.
I don't think that can happen.
Leah Davidson (23:51):
You can't do it because a relaxed body can't
house stress.
So what we're trying to do is aswe go throughout our day, we are
going to encounter hundreds oftimes a day where our body feels
activated because we're feelingthreats because the nervous
system also doesn't know thedifference between a real threat
and a perceived threat.
(24:12):
Everything is on the same basis.
So, hundreds of times a day,we're like, I perceive threat, I
perceive threat.
We want to encounter it, remindit it's safe, and relax our
body.
And as we keep doing that, westart to get more comfortable in
a relaxed body, and we can startLearning how to manage our
emotions, how to process ouremotions, how to use our mindset
(24:35):
tools to reframe everything thatwe're doing.
And then we're not going to bereacting, we're going to be
living from a place ofintentionality because we have
our thinking skills, we're ableto process our emotions, and
we're in a relaxed body.
Lisa (24:52):
Whenever I talk to someone about chronic stress or
regulating your nervous system,I wonder how to tell the
difference between what you justdescribed, which is many, many
times a day, you're going tobecome activated and like a
chronic state of dysregulation.
Because I just think there'sgotta be a difference there
(25:14):
between.
Going through the cycle multipletimes a day and how do you know,
basically what I kind of want toknow is how do I know if I'm
healthy in my nervous system?
Because so often, and everythingfrom, you know, weight loss to
perimenopause symptoms, it'salways like reduce your stress.
And I'm like, but it can't bezero.
(25:35):
And so how do I know, if I'mregulating it?
Or just because it feels likethere's always work to do.
Leah Davidson (25:43):
Yeah.
Well, and that's the thing.
Yeah.
So a couple of things is acutestress isn't necessarily bad.
We need acute stress is what,what's keeps us going.
The challenge is if we're, we'restuck in that chronic state
where we have that constantstress and we know it because
our body gives us some symptoms.
Our body, if you're strugglingwith chronic pain or chronic
(26:05):
symptoms and illness and anxietyand headaches and gut
challenges, chances are you arechronically stressed.
And when you're chronicallystressed, then it's not like,
yeah, you want to be regulatingall these times throughout the
day, but you've got to go backto your practice and go back to
your foundations as well.
And it ends up being like, it isa lifestyle that we want to
(26:26):
start looking at.
Um, We know when we're notstressed by how our body feels.
If you are feeling like you'reon edge, like most people, if
they are in a state ofdysregulation, they're either
feeling like they're on edge,like they're feeling stressed
out, busy, overwhelmed, anxious,or they're feeling completely
(26:49):
numb and shut down.
When you have those, that is astate of dysregulation.
And it comes out, like the body.
Will produce symptoms.
You're not going to startsleeping.
There's going to be weight gainThere's going to be like strange
relationships Now we have abalance because yeah There's
(27:12):
going to be hormonal things andthere's going to be things that
we want to be taking care of Youknow through maybe there's some
medication that some people willneed to have for Um, but that
daily stress, I always say topeople, don't question whether
you need that stress relief.
every single day.
You do.
(27:33):
Like, you just
Lisa (27:34):
a good point.
Yeah.
Leah Davidson (27:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lisa (27:38):
So how do we start to kind of get to know our own unique
systems and our own cues?
What, what do you notice is likeunique about different people
and the way they react or feelor anything that kind of is
unique with people?
Leah Davidson (27:55):
Yeah.
I always say to people, like,you're special, but you're not
that special.
That there are some common,like, even though there's some
uniqueness, there are somecommonalities that we have.
So, if you, like, in my journal,I have you map out.
So, by asking certain questions,like what are some of the
(28:16):
thoughts that you, when youdescribe yourself, because most
people get an idea of what it'slike when I'm stressed out.
Okay, what do your thoughtssound like when you're stressed
out?
And you're often going to hear,well, they're worry thoughts and
they're anxious thoughts andthey're overthinking and they're
ruminating.
Okay.
So that gives you an indicationof what that looks like.
What are some of the feelingsthat you have or what are some
(28:38):
of the behaviors?
Well, I notice I'm, I'm muchmore sarcastic.
I have an edge to my voice.
I'm snippy.
I'm so you, you start to playaround with observing and
building that awareness.
I always say we're not doing itwith any judgment.
Like it's with so much love andcompassion because we're all the
same on the level that we.
(28:59):
all are going to getdysregulated.
The nervous system needs to goup and down.
You need to get dysregulated,but you want to be able to come
back home.
So, a healthy nervous system isone that moves up and down
flexibly.
So, you just start buildingawareness, like, okay, oh, isn't
that interesting that when I'mwith this person, I start to
(29:21):
feel a little bit activated.
Well, what's going on there?
Oh, I'm, tend to be moredefensive.
When I am feeling more activatedor I tend to really just I, I
worry incessantly or I'm notable to sleep or I feel like I'm
clenching my jaw.
Like there's all these thingsthat we want to start building
(29:44):
that awareness of.
What does it look like when I amin a state of hyper arousal, a
state of hypo arousal and whatdoes it look like when I'm
feeling good?
Like, when I'm feeling, and,and, I think we inherently know,
like when I'm feeling good, likeI feel confident, and I'm like
so much more patient with peopleand I'm kind and you know, I'm,
(30:06):
I'm open to people's opinions.
When I'm tired and fed up, Ireact very differently.
And so you can start mapping itout is the best way to do it.
Lisa (30:19):
Okay, good.
All right, anything else withregards just bringing it back to
like Making choices in thekitchen kind of thing, like, um,
how we can kind of use theknowledge that we're gaining
here today about our nervoussystem to help us in making our
(30:40):
food choices or, you know, inweight loss, that kind of thing.
Leah Davidson (30:44):
Yeah.
Well, as you're mapping out yoursystem, I would be mapping out,
are there certain foods that Igo to when I'm feeling anxious,
angry, uh, overwhelmed?
Are there certain foods that Igo to when I'm sad and lonely
and bored?
And you can just start building,do you have a pattern?
(31:08):
Are there certain times of day?
that you find yourself, youknow, going towards certain
foods or wanting certain things.
Okay, what's going on at thosetimes of day?
And, is it related to adysregulation?
It's, it's not going to beperfect.
Like, we're not trying to aimfor perfection.
We're trying to aim for forawareness, because once we have
(31:31):
that awareness, we can relax,and then we can start using some
of the mindset tools, which I'msure that you, you know, share
with,
Lisa (31:39):
Yeah,
Leah Davidson (31:39):
yeah, like the model.
Yeah, you can start reframingthings.
You can't really use the modelto its full capacity if you're
dysregulated, because whenyou're dysregulated, you're, I
call it your CEO, butessentially it's your thinking
skills, your executive functionskills goes offline.
And that's not a choice.
Great.
That's biological.
That's how it's meant to be.
(32:00):
When we are in survival mode,we're not in thinking mode.
And so that's an important thingfor people to notice that when
you are dysregulated, it's goingto be very hard to change your
thoughts because your, yournervous system is like, Listen,
we're in survival mode here.
I don't really care what you'rethinking and how curious and
compassionate you are.
(32:21):
Like, we need to survive, whichis why you try to calm that
system first.
When you calm that system, yourthinking skills come back.
Now I can start making somebetter choices.
Do I really want to eat this?
Do I really want to have this?
You know, what's it going tofeel like?
What's the discomfort goingthrough and using all those,
those thought tools?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lisa (32:40):
perfect.
Yeah.
I, um, not that thisdisqualifies you from working
with me or anything, but I donotice that with clients that
people that choose to work withme tend to be like ready.
And I ask them like, why are youcontacting me now?
And they're like, I'm ready tomake these changes.
And I feel like that's kind of asign of like, I'm, I'm pretty
(33:02):
regulated.
I, um, I know, and they're, andthey're ready to start working
on their thoughts.
I have had clients where noamount of that work, no amount
of, you know, being aware ismaking a difference.
And I suspect that this is, um,part of the factors.
Leah Davidson (33:19):
Yeah, I mean, the nervous system, like for all of
us, it doesn't matter howregulated you are, there is
going to be more, like, we needto be regulating ourselves
hundreds of times a day.
But as we work on our nervoussystem, it's kind of like what
happens is we build up ourcapacity for regulation.
I call it
Lisa (33:39):
that was actually going to be my next question is, okay,
keep going.
Leah Davidson (33:43):
we build up.
I call it that zone ofresilience.
We build up our capacity.
The more time we spend, it'slike building up our tolerance
for any kind of exercise per se.
You know, initially if I startrunning or, you know, doing some
exercise regime, it's It's goingto be hard.
I maybe will only be able to doit five minutes, but as I
continue doing it, it's 10minutes and then 20 minutes and
(34:06):
30, and all of a sudden it's twohours that I'm able to do it.
The nervous system is like that.
It's like the mental health gym.
The more I do things on aconsistent basis, the more I
build up the capacity fortolerance.
And eventually what happens is Iwill still get dysregulated, but
it's going to take me longer.
(34:28):
to get there.
And then once I am dysregulated,I know how to get myself back
home.
So it's almost like I'll be,I'll be more tolerant longer.
I'll still, I'm going to getdysregulated because I'm human.
We're not, we can't bypass thehuman experience.
We can't regulate away all thathumanness, but it is going to
take me a little bit longer.
(34:49):
And I think back to like havingkids, you know, as you build a
capacity for your nervoussystem, instead of getting
irritated within five minutes.
You know, it starts six minutes,and then seven minutes, and then
ten minutes, and eventually, youknow, maybe it's like half an
hour, where I'm just like, okay,well, now I'm going to walk away
from this, because, you know, wejust see a change.
(35:11):
It changes all ourrelationships, because We have
so much more compassion becausewe see like, okay, this is my
nervous system and that's theirnervous system.
You know, when my child ishaving a freak out on me, it's
not necessarily personally aboutme.
It's, I wonder what's going onwith their nervous system.
And so we, we increase ourcapacity and our tolerance.
Lisa (35:34):
Yeah.
And the more regulated you are,the more you're going to be able
to step into that.
Wonder what's happening forthem.
And, and even adult to adult,you know, when someone acts out,
a stranger acts out in thegrocery store.
I mean, even though it hasn'tbeen strictly nervous system
work, I think that my work as alife coach and getting trained
(35:54):
has just put me in more of aposition to say, I wonder what's
going on for them today, insteadof being critical.
And I think all of that justcontributes to your own
regulation and not getting firedup because someone else is
misbehaving
Leah Davidson (36:10):
That's right.
Lisa (36:11):
and I put misbehaving in air quotes, you know,
Leah Davidson (36:13):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We all misbehave.
Lisa (36:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like the more regulatedyou are in general, the more
you're going to be able to makewhat you consider good choices
with your nutrition though,right?
So the more you're regulating ona regular basis throughout the
day and finding things that arecreating peace and happiness for
(36:38):
you that aren't food.
It's just kind of like, uh, theopposite of a vicious cycle.
It's the, it's the amazingcycle.
Why don't we have a saying forthat?
Like,
Leah Davidson (36:47):
Yeah, it's true.
Lisa (36:49):
what is the opposite of a vicious cycle?
But it, it does, you know, themore regulated, the more you're
making choices that you like in,you know, with your nutrition
and your activity and yourpatients level, and then that's
going to lead into even moreregulation.
Would
Leah Davidson (37:06):
Yeah.
Right.
When you're in a state ofregulation, again, you have
access to your thinking skills.
When you have access to yourthinking skills, you can, um,
start living more intentionally.
And I, I, Often say to peopleyou, you want to figure out what
your values are, what'simportant to you, so that you
have like a map of how you wantto live.
(37:27):
So how do you want to livenutrition wise?
Like you said, you know,longevity to take care of making
sure that, you know, I'm eatingin a brain healthy way.
I know that you talked with,that's one of my passions too,
being a speech languagepathologist is like, what are
the things?
that are important for thebrain.
What are the nutrients for thebrain?
Well, you can start introducingthese nutrients, whether it's
(37:50):
like physical nutrients or likelearning and cognitive
nutrients.
You can start introducing thatwhen you're regulated.
If you're not regulated, yourCEO is checked out.
You don't have, you have likeminimum access.
It's not like you have none, butyou have minimum.
So it's harder to make goodchoices.
It's harder to liveintentionally.
(38:10):
Everything is based on like areaction because you don't have
that same capacity to think.
Lisa (38:18):
Perfect.
Oh, this has been so good.
So informative.
Well, I, I really am so excitedto dive into this resilience
journal.
And like I said, I will put alink to that in all three
beautiful colors in the shownotes and any, anything that we
missed Leah.
Leah Davidson (38:35):
No, I mean, I think I always love leaving the
key message that as you'velearned about your nervous
system, I, I really think yougain such a deep compassion for
yourself and for others aroundyou.
And, you know, sometimes when Isay that, oh, you have
compassion for others, like, oh,they just walk all over you and
everything.
I'm like, no, because you havecompassion for yourself as well,
(38:56):
which means that you'll puthealthy boundaries in.
So it just, it changes all yourrelationships when you can come
from that place of regulation.
I
Lisa (39:05):
Perfect.
I love it.
Thank you so much.
anywhere else that you want todirect people to find you
online.
Leah Davidson (39:11):
a podcast.
It's called Building Resilience.
So we talk all about all sortsof things, stuff like this.
Um, and then I'm on Instagramand Facebook at Leah Davidson
Life Coaching.
Lisa (39:21):
Perfect.
And again, we'll find all ofthat information in the show
notes.
Thanks again, Leah.
I am so glad you tuned in today.
Before I sign off, I wannaremind you of the what to do
when you overeat three partvideo course that I have.
If you are trying to lose weightand find yourself overeating too
many times to see lastingsuccess, be sure to check out
that free course.
(39:42):
It also comes with a reset andrecover guide that will help you
put everything you learn in thevideos in writing, and really
clarify each step so you canfeel confident.
Moving forward, that's free justfor my podcast listeners, so be
sure to grab that in the shownotes.
You can also book a free consultsession to see if my full 12
week one-on-one coaching programis right for you.
You can grab that link also inthe show notes.
(40:03):
Remember, it's not just aboutthe food, it's about empowering
yourself with choices that trulyserve you.
Have a great week and as always,thanks for listening and sharing
the Eat Well Think Well LiveWell podcast.
This is the Eat Well Think WellLive Well podcast.
(00:02):
I'm Lisa Salisbury and this isepisode 140.
Regulating Your Nervous Systemwith Leah Davidson.
I.
Your nervous system is the basisfor how you feel and function
every day.
Leah Davidson is an expert onbuilding resilience in the
nervous system, and we talk allabout what the nervous system is
and why it's important for it tobe regulated in order to make
(00:23):
the choices we want to make withour health and nutrition.
You will walk away from thisepisode knowing way more about
stress and regulation and somegreat questions to ask yourself
when you feel your energyrising.
Welcome to eat well.
Well, the podcast for busy womenwho want to lose weight without
(00:43):
constantly counting, tracking,or stressing over every bite.
I'm Lisa Salsbury, a certifiedhealth weight loss and life
coach, and most importantly, arecovered chronic dieter here.
You'll learn to listen to yourbody and uncover the reasons
you're reaching for food.
When you're not truly hungry,freeing you to focus on a
healthier, more fulfillingapproach to eating.
Lisa (01:06):
Welcome back to the Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well
podcast.
I am super excited to bespeaking with Leah Davidson
today.
She is a speech languagepathologist and a certified life
coach and we are going to betalking about her very awesome
specialty, which is the nervoussystem.
So welcome, Leah.
(01:26):
If you could give us a littleintroduction to yourself in your
work, um, maybe how you came tothat, that would be great.
And then we'll get into ourconversation.
Leah Davidson (01:35):
Awesome.
Well, thank you so much forhaving me on the podcast.
So my name is Leah Davidson.
I am from Toronto, Ontario,Canada.
And I am, like you said, a lifecoach as well as a speech
language pathologist.
And to give that some context,I've been a speech path for over
26 years, working in the areaprimarily of traumatic brain
(01:56):
injury.
And that is kind of where Istarted learning about the brain
and neuroplasticity and brainhealth and eventually the
nervous system.
Um, because I just saw that alot of the work that I was doing
with clients, most of them hadsuffered traumatic brain
injuries through accidents, andI was helping them in the area
(02:17):
of something called cognitivecommunication.
And I started to have thisrealization that a lot of the
challenges I was trying to helpUm, Uh, So, I had to start
backtracking and start doingsome nervous system work, um, in
order for us to move ahead withsome of our other cognitive
(02:39):
strategies.
So eventually I just startedworking with people who didn't
have brain injuries.
And start to see, hey, we allhave the same nervous system,
the same brain, the samechallenges.
And then it just has become moreand more niche.
My passion is really the nervoussystem.
I have an advanced training, Ihave a membership, and I just
(02:59):
put out a guided journal, um,that helps people to learn all
about their nervous systembecause I truly believe it is
foundational to everything,everything that we do, not just
that we do in coaching, buteverything that we do, period.
Well,
Lisa (03:20):
I got it in preparation for having Leah on the podcast.
So I'm really excited to diveinto this topic, learn a little
bit more and then continue onwith that journal.
And obviously I usually saythis.
Kind of thing at the end, butwe'll put the link to that in
the show notes.
It is on Amazon and comes inthree beautiful colors.
So there you go.
(03:41):
So let's, let's talk about,that's not, I mean, this is not
just to be clear.
This isn't a sales pitch for thejournal.
I, that was kind of a side note.
I was like, Oh, let's have Leahon.
And by the way, she also justfinished publishing this.
Leah Davidson (03:55):
I think the reason I created the journal is
because I do have this beliefthat it is foundational for us
and most of us, um, most of ushave heard of the nervous
system.
I'll probably just dive intowhat your question was going to
be of what is the nervous
Lisa (04:10):
What is your, yeah, let's just start.
What, what is the nervoussystem?
What are we even talking about?
Leah Davidson (04:14):
well, that's it because most of us know like
we've heard nervous system.
We probably talked about it inbiology class
Lisa (04:19):
Mm hmm.
Leah Davidson (04:20):
But we don't really understand what it does
and the role that it has in oureveryday life so just to put it
simply it's made up of like theyou know, the brain and the
spinal cord and all theconnections between and So it's
the main communication betweenthe brain and the body and a
large part of the nervous systemis something called the The
(04:40):
cranial nerve that's called thevagus nerve.
So a lot of people have heard ofthat vagus nerve.
It's all over It's very popularin social media and really
essentially what that is is thecollection of nerve fibers It
starts kind of in the brain stemarea the back and then it has
branches that course to the faceand innervates, you know, the,
the larynx and comes down to theheart and then down to all the
(05:03):
organs.
And the interesting thing aboutthis cranial nerve is it's
primarily responsible forgetting us to calm down, to get
to what we call rest and digest.
And it travels bi directionally,meaning signals are sent from
the brain to the body, andsignals are also sent from the
(05:23):
body up to the brain, exceptthere is a little bit of a, I
call it in the journal, the 8020 rule, 20 percent of the
fibers go from the brain to thebody and 80 percent come from
the body to the
Lisa (05:36):
Oh, that's way more than I thought.
Leah Davidson (05:38):
Yeah, it kind of speaks to the importance of how
we can't be doing things inisolation.
We need to be having both thebrain and the body.
So the role of the nervoussystem, communicate, it's
responsible for our survival.
And it is running everythingthat we do from behind the
scenes So it is what is runningyour heartbeat and your breath
(06:02):
and your digestive system and itdoes it automatically Thank
goodness because you wouldn'twant to have to be you know,
worrying about controlling allthose things And it is
Lisa (06:11):
Sorry.
Look, let me interrupt you therefrom, like, from thinking about
biology class.
Isn't there, like, two parts,like, one that's doing all of
that without us knowing and theother part that's more
cognitive?
Leah Davidson (06:22):
yes Well, so exactly so we have like what
we're talking about is theautonomic nervous
Lisa (06:28):
Yes.
I couldn't think of the word.
Leah Davidson (06:30):
Yeah, this is running the show.
The autonomic nervous system'srunning the show.
And the main job is to scan forsafety and danger because it's
trying to keep us alive.
And if it scans and how it sortof scans is it's looking around
for clues of safety and danger.
It's looking externally.
So it's going to look at likeall our senses.
(06:52):
What's going on?
What do you hear?
What do you see?
see what, what can you touch?
It's taking in that information.
It's also taking in what's goingon internally for you.
Is your heart rate changing?
Is your stomach changing?
Are you sweating a little bit?
And then it's looking betweenyou and I.
So you and I, we don't know eachother really well.
Our nervous systems right noware checking each other out.
(07:12):
We're sort of like, are yousafe?
Like, and, and we feed off oftone and facial expressions.
Like right now you're nodding.
So my nervous system is like, Ohyeah, Lisa is safe.
Like, okay, and it gives thatconfirmation.
So it gathers all these cues bysomething called neuroception,
and it's almost like we havethese spidey senses.
It's all unconscious.
(07:33):
And based on all these clues, mynervous system is going to
decide whether I'm safe ordangerous.
It kind of takes in these cluesand it does a comparison to all
my past life experience.
And it's like a predictor.
Okay, well, in the past, thesekind of clues have been safe.
So, she's safe, we're all good,and we just move ahead, and we
(07:56):
have a conversation, and youknow, we're very, um, you know,
it's easy going, and it'sconfident, and we're patient
with each other, and we'recurious, and we have compassion.
So that's if things are safe.
But if we're scanning,constantly scanning, and there's
some cues that are, uh, it's alittle bit, something's off
(08:17):
there, or something'sunfamiliar, or something is I'm
picking up from maybe my pastthat I don't even know is there,
but is triggering.
My nervous system is like, thisis danger.
And because it's responsibilityis survival, my nervous system
(08:37):
is going to get into a state ofprotection.
It's like, okay, Leah's indanger, we've got to protect
her.
And the first line of protectionis we're going to increase the
energy in her body.
We're going to get her moreactivated.
So that's why we start to feel arise.
We start to feel a little bitmore on edge.
And this is where you'veprobably heard of fight or
(08:59):
flight.
This is where it comes in.
We, our system goes into thesystem of protection and it is
going to be flavored usuallywith energy.
Sometimes it's with aggression,but it could be with anxiety.
So it could be, you know, sortof anger, defensiveness.
But it could also be like worryand anxiety and concern.
(09:22):
The state that we're in flavorseverything.
It flavors our thoughts, itflavors our feelings, it flavors
our emotions, and I'll give youan example in just a second.
But the other thing that canhappen is say I sense It's
extreme danger or I've beenactivated for so long my nervous
(09:43):
system is like, okay, we'regoing to crash here.
We need to start conserving someenergy and it will bring me down
to another state of protection,which is where things are more
shut down.
It's more collapsed and this isa state of hypo arousal.
It's still a protective state.
It's trying to protect us, butit is more of.
(10:05):
Yeah.
Well, it's, it's like ashutdown.
Now a combination of both ofthem is a free state.
It's sort of like I'm wired, butI'm shut down and that is
freeze.
So those are protective modesfor the nervous system.
And it's, it's brilliantly doingthat because it's taking care of
us for our survival.
The key thing about these statesand understanding why is it so
(10:27):
important that you understandthese states and understand what
happens to you when you go intoone of these states.
is because they're behind thescenes.
Everything that you think, feel,and do is going to be flavored
by the state that you're in.
So, an example I like to use isif I am in a activated state, I
(10:51):
call it team hyper.
We go into a hyper arousedstate.
If I'm in this team hyper stateand you say to me, Leah, where
did you get your hair done?
I might say to you, why, what'swrong with my hair?
You don't like it?
Like, why would you want to knowwhere I get my hair done?
Like, there's this flavor ofdefensiveness because I'm
(11:12):
activated.
Now, if I'm the opposite and I'min more of a hypo state, I call
it team hypo, then I may belike, Oh my gosh, I know my hair
is so terrible.
It's awful.
I need to find a new hairdresserand really just everything will
be down flavored that way.
If I'm in a safe state, I'm inmy home state, I feel good.
(11:34):
I call it team resilient becauseI have the ability to go with
the ups and downs.
I may be like, Oh, I just got itdown in the corner of Queen
Street.
Her name is Fiona.
Would you like her number?
So you see it taints all myinteractions.
It taints my perspectives.
It taints like what I'm going tosay to you, how I'm going to say
it, my tone of voice.
(11:54):
It even taints.
It's my posture, my bodylanguage.
And so we want to be aware of itbecause sometimes we think, why
did I act that way?
Lisa (12:07):
hmm.
Mm
Leah Davidson (12:08):
it's because our nervous system is there.
And because our nervous systemis in a certain state, it is
fueling the way we think, feeland act.
Lisa (12:18):
Okay, whoo.
That's like a lot ofinformation.
That's so good.
So good.
Leah Davidson (12:23):
Put you into a state of dysregulation just
listening to
Lisa (12:26):
Yeah, totally.
I'm like, there's so much tolearn.
Um, so there's more to ask onthat.
But before we get into morelearning there, I want to, tie
this into the theme of ourpodcast.
My listeners are generally on ahealth and or weight loss
trajectory.
They're looking to improvetheir, their nutrition to, I
(12:49):
mean, I had a guest on a coupleof weeks ago, we were talking
about improving our nutritionbased on wanting to have our
health span match our lifespanas far as warding off dementia,
you know, so there's lots ofreasons to be changing your
diet, not just weight loss, butwe do have a weight loss
component here.
So, um, What does the nervoussystem and all of that have to
do with weight loss?
(13:11):
And how can we access thisinformation about the nervous
system to help us in thoseefforts?
Leah Davidson (13:19):
So when you're assigned to a state based on
your biological response tothings that are happening, often
we get dysregulated.
So we will just naturally becomein a hyper state or a hypo
state.
Have spent a lot of time in ahyper state like you think like
(13:41):
if you're feeling chronicallybusy On edge all the time
stressed out at the time chancesare you spent a lot of time in a
hyper state?
Well our nervous system itactually wants to get to a
regulated place It wants toreturn to homeostasis.
So it tries to do things toregulate itself.
(14:02):
So if I'm stressed out orfeeling overwhelmed and anxious
from a young age.
What did we use?
We used food.
Like when you're a baby.
Oh, you're crying.
You're upset.
What happened?
Bottle in your mouth, you know,something happens and we start
using food.
So often what happens for peopleis they don't want to feel their
(14:26):
emotions or they they've neverexperienced their emotions or
there's discomfort or they're sodysregulated that eating We'll
give this false sense ofregulation because it kind of
feels good, right?
Like, you know, you're stressedout and everything, and I have
that piece of cake.
I feel good for a few secondsuntil I don't anymore.
(14:49):
And then I drop into a differentstate of dysregulation.
And
Lisa (14:52):
is where I.
This is where I always say, foodworks, that's why we do it,
because food works.
And so, when my clients attackthemselves for like, being upset
that they overate again orwhatever, I'm like, because food
works, it's okay, like let'smove on and, and um, although I
(15:13):
don't have the same nervoussystem training that you do, I
am trying to help them get backto realizing that they did that
because of their biological, um,Um, upbringing.
And, yeah.
I mean, I
Leah Davidson (15:28):
that.
Essentially, it's because of thenervous system.
Like what you're teaching themis like, no, you're doing it
because it is regulating.
This is, this is what we, so alot of times people, the beauty
of learning about your nervoussystem is you start to realize
it's not a moral failing.
It's not a weakness.
You're not a bad person.
Again, you literally have beendysregulated and you
(15:51):
brilliantly.
Learned that food is a great wayto regulate, or whatever it is
that you do.
People do different things.
We brilliantly learn how toadapt to this discomfort of
dysregulation, trying to bringourselves down into regulation.
These are all adaptations.
(16:12):
They're not weaknesses.
They're not moral failings.
It's not like you're broken.
It literally is.
Oh, my nervous system is doingthis because it's trying to get
me back to home.
And then the understanding whenyou start to see this is what
the nervous system is doing,this is when we can start making
the transition to, okay, thankyou system for taking care of
(16:35):
me, but I'd like to come up withanother way to regulate that is
much more permanent, that ismuch healthier.
We start moving towards findingthose tools.
Lisa (16:49):
Perfect.
Okay, so what are some of theways that we can do some self
regulation?
And in the, in the face of justkind of chronic stress, maybe
you had, you know, conversationwith your child or you spent
time with your aging parent andyou're kind of feeling on edge
(17:10):
or, and you're wanting to youknow, look to food, how can we
regulate before that happens?
Leah Davidson (17:18):
Yeah.
So I like to describe it topeople like it's kind of like
Once you learn about yournervous system, you're joining
the nervous system sports leagueand you're signing up for a few
things you're signing up one isokay, you're going to join this
team.
There's some fundamental lifethings that you want to be
(17:38):
working on like your sleep andhaving proper nutrition and
getting movement and connectionand things like that.
And then there's things likeyou're going to come to practice
every day.
And so there's things that wewant to be doing.
I'm going to do a daily basis,it doesn't have to be long, but
things like, you know, yourstress keeps building up every
single day, you need an outletfor it every single day.
(18:02):
And it doesn't have to be like,I'm going to do an hour run.
It may be that you're going todo a 10 minute walk, or you are
going to do something, um, um,drawing or you're going to do
some journaling or you're goingto hug somebody or you're going
to have a good cry.
Every day we need to be doingthings that releases our stress
(18:22):
and every day we need to betraining our nervous system to
tell it that it is safe.
So a lot of these thingsactivities that we do.
They sort of work on, on twolevels.
They work on releasing stressand they work on sort of
increasing our capacity to feelthings, increasing our capacity
(18:42):
to be healthy individuals.
So that's great, like doingthings on a daily basis.
It doesn't have to be longthings, just little drops along
the way.
But then you get to the game.
And the game is you're sittingin the waiting room with your
mother at the doctor'sappointment feeling that energy
rise.
It would be great if you couldjust say, Oh, I'm feeling the
(19:04):
energy rise.
I'm going to go for a quick walkaround the block.
And if you can go do that, butnormally that won't happen.
Or you're having a conversationwith your, your child face to
face.
And, you know, you can feel yourenergy rising.
And again, you can't be like,I'm gonna go meditate and then
I'll get back to thisconversation.
You need some tools to do realtime in the moment.
(19:27):
And what it is, is it's selfregulation in the moment.
And there's a couple of thingsthat we need to do in order to
regulate ourselves.
And I call it the safetysequence.
I actually go through it in thejournal.
But the first thing is, we know.
that we're neurocepting all thetime, safety and danger.
So if you start to feelactivated, you can get a sense
(19:50):
that your nervous system isfeeling some danger.
So we've got to check in and saylike, we're not in danger.
Like you may be sitting herestarting to feel activated, but
go through, like look aroundyou.
I'm like sitting on a chair.
I can, you know, my hands aretouching, you know, my legs.
I can look around and see thingsin the room.
(20:11):
I am safe.
And unless we're like in a warzone or we're like in this
violent situation, 99 percent ofthe time we are safe and not.
In the present moment, not like,well, I wasn't safe when I was
doing this and potentially thiscould happen.
No, we're looking at, are yousafe in this moment?
(20:34):
And 99 percent of the time, theanswer is yes.
So you're always askingyourself, you know, and I put my
hand to my heart.
Am I safe?
Yes, Leah, you're safe.
So that kind of sends a messageto the brain.
That you're safe, but the nextpiece is my body doesn't believe
that because my body is like Iknow you're saying you're safe
But I feel like crap right now.
So what
Lisa (20:53):
you're talking about physically safe, not emotionally
safe.
Is that correct?
Okay.
Physically safe.
We're not physically in danger.
Leah Davidson (21:00):
yeah You're not physically in danger Your brain
needs to know that because it isnever going to relax if you are
in physical danger And we don'twant it to If you're in physical
danger, you need to be activatedso you can take action.
The majority of the time, we'renot being chased by a tiger,
like we're not in physical, wemay feel discomfort because
somebody is being rude to us orI've got so many things on my
(21:23):
list to do, but we establish thephysical safety.
The next piece is we go into ourbody and when you go into your
body, that's when you startlike, yeah, I don't feel safe
though.
Like, I don't feel, I feelheaviness in my chest, maybe my
brain is spinning, maybe my gutis upset, maybe I'm sweating, I
feel this energy rising.
And we're just gonna drop intoour body and allow ourselves to
(21:47):
notice what is going on in ourbody.
So I call it, asking yourselfthe question, do I feel safe?
And often the answer is no.
And those questions, am I safe,do I feel safe, they're kind of
interchangeable.
Sometimes we feel things firstand then we want to confirm.
Sometimes we can confirm thingsand then go into our body, so
it's interchangeable.
(22:08):
And then the third step is wewant to acutely relax our body
in some way.
And I recommend just two simpleways.
There's a whole bunch of ways,but the first way I recommend is
what I call the rag doll.
Where you literally just letyour body drop, release the
tension, it's almost like youtense it up a little bit and
(22:30):
then just drop.
And you can do like a full onragdoll if you're like in the
privacy of a room.
If you're in the waiting room,it's likely you're not going to
stand up and do a full onragdoll, but what you can do is
sort of slump down a little bit,relax your butt, relax your
shoulders, relax every, let yourhands.
Hang down, no one will even knowthat you're doing it.
(22:52):
Or you can do something like aslow and low exhale.
So you're just gonna breathe andreally start with that
exhalation.
'cause exhalation is whatactivates the vagus nerve, which
activates our rest and digestsystem.
Helps us completely relax.
So when we do those threethings, what happens is our,
(23:15):
we're sending a message to ourbody.
We're safe, we're relaxing ourbody.
And a relaxed body that is in asafe environment cannot house
stress.
And when I say that to people,I'm like, a relaxed body cannot
house stress.
I want you to think about whenyou're angry at somebody and you
(23:36):
go to yell at them.
Maybe it's like one of yourkids.
Try being in a complete ragdollrelaxed body.
And yell.
You can't do it.
Lisa (23:48):
me laugh because I'm like, I don't know.
I don't think that can happen.
Leah Davidson (23:51):
You can't do it because a relaxed body can't
house stress.
So what we're trying to do is aswe go throughout our day, we are
going to encounter hundreds oftimes a day where our body feels
activated because we're feelingthreats because the nervous
system also doesn't know thedifference between a real threat
and a perceived threat.
(24:12):
Everything is on the same basis.
So, hundreds of times a day,we're like, I perceive threat, I
perceive threat.
We want to encounter it, remindit it's safe, and relax our
body.
And as we keep doing that, westart to get more comfortable in
a relaxed body, and we can startLearning how to manage our
emotions, how to process ouremotions, how to use our mindset
(24:35):
tools to reframe everything thatwe're doing.
And then we're not going to bereacting, we're going to be
living from a place ofintentionality because we have
our thinking skills, we're ableto process our emotions, and
we're in a relaxed body.
Lisa (24:52):
Whenever I talk to someone about chronic stress or
regulating your nervous system,I wonder how to tell the
difference between what you justdescribed, which is many, many
times a day, you're going tobecome activated and like a
chronic state of dysregulation.
Because I just think there'sgotta be a difference there
(25:14):
between.
Going through the cycle multipletimes a day and how do you know,
basically what I kind of want toknow is how do I know if I'm
healthy in my nervous system?
Because so often, and everythingfrom, you know, weight loss to
perimenopause symptoms, it'salways like reduce your stress.
And I'm like, but it can't bezero.
(25:35):
And so how do I know, if I'mregulating it?
Or just because it feels likethere's always work to do.
Leah Davidson (25:43):
Yeah.
Well, and that's the thing.
Yeah.
So a couple of things is acutestress isn't necessarily bad.
We need acute stress is what,what's keeps us going.
The challenge is if we're, we'restuck in that chronic state
where we have that constantstress and we know it because
our body gives us some symptoms.
Our body, if you're strugglingwith chronic pain or chronic
(26:05):
symptoms and illness and anxietyand headaches and gut
challenges, chances are you arechronically stressed.
And when you're chronicallystressed, then it's not like,
yeah, you want to be regulatingall these times throughout the
day, but you've got to go backto your practice and go back to
your foundations as well.
And it ends up being like, it isa lifestyle that we want to
(26:26):
start looking at.
Um, We know when we're notstressed by how our body feels.
If you are feeling like you'reon edge, like most people, if
they are in a state ofdysregulation, they're either
feeling like they're on edge,like they're feeling stressed
out, busy, overwhelmed, anxious,or they're feeling completely
(26:49):
numb and shut down.
When you have those, that is astate of dysregulation.
And it comes out, like the body.
Will produce symptoms.
You're not going to startsleeping.
There's going to be weight gainThere's going to be like strange
relationships Now we have abalance because yeah There's
(27:12):
going to be hormonal things andthere's going to be things that
we want to be taking care of Youknow through maybe there's some
medication that some people willneed to have for Um, but that
daily stress, I always say topeople, don't question whether
you need that stress relief.
every single day.
You do.
(27:33):
Like, you just
Lisa (27:34):
a good point.
Yeah.
Leah Davidson (27:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lisa (27:38):
So how do we start to kind of get to know our own unique
systems and our own cues?
What, what do you notice is likeunique about different people
and the way they react or feelor anything that kind of is
unique with people?
Leah Davidson (27:55):
Yeah.
I always say to people, like,you're special, but you're not
that special.
That there are some common,like, even though there's some
uniqueness, there are somecommonalities that we have.
So, if you, like, in my journal,I have you map out.
So, by asking certain questions,like what are some of the
(28:16):
thoughts that you, when youdescribe yourself, because most
people get an idea of what it'slike when I'm stressed out.
Okay, what do your thoughtssound like when you're stressed
out?
And you're often going to hear,well, they're worry thoughts and
they're anxious thoughts andthey're overthinking and they're
ruminating.
Okay.
So that gives you an indicationof what that looks like.
What are some of the feelingsthat you have or what are some
(28:38):
of the behaviors?
Well, I notice I'm, I'm muchmore sarcastic.
I have an edge to my voice.
I'm snippy.
I'm so you, you start to playaround with observing and
building that awareness.
I always say we're not doing itwith any judgment.
Like it's with so much love andcompassion because we're all the
same on the level that we.
(28:59):
all are going to getdysregulated.
The nervous system needs to goup and down.
You need to get dysregulated,but you want to be able to come
back home.
So, a healthy nervous system isone that moves up and down
flexibly.
So, you just start buildingawareness, like, okay, oh, isn't
that interesting that when I'mwith this person, I start to
(29:21):
feel a little bit activated.
Well, what's going on there?
Oh, I'm, tend to be moredefensive.
When I am feeling more activatedor I tend to really just I, I
worry incessantly or I'm notable to sleep or I feel like I'm
clenching my jaw.
Like there's all these thingsthat we want to start building
(29:44):
that awareness of.
What does it look like when I amin a state of hyper arousal, a
state of hypo arousal and whatdoes it look like when I'm
feeling good?
Like, when I'm feeling, and,and, I think we inherently know,
like when I'm feeling good, likeI feel confident, and I'm like
so much more patient with peopleand I'm kind and you know, I'm,
(30:06):
I'm open to people's opinions.
When I'm tired and fed up, Ireact very differently.
And so you can start mapping itout is the best way to do it.
Lisa (30:19):
Okay, good.
All right, anything else withregards just bringing it back to
like Making choices in thekitchen kind of thing, like, um,
how we can kind of use theknowledge that we're gaining
here today about our nervoussystem to help us in making our
(30:40):
food choices or, you know, inweight loss, that kind of thing.
Leah Davidson (30:44):
Yeah.
Well, as you're mapping out yoursystem, I would be mapping out,
are there certain foods that Igo to when I'm feeling anxious,
angry, uh, overwhelmed?
Are there certain foods that Igo to when I'm sad and lonely
and bored?
And you can just start building,do you have a pattern?
(31:08):
Are there certain times of day?
that you find yourself, youknow, going towards certain
foods or wanting certain things.
Okay, what's going on at thosetimes of day?
And, is it related to adysregulation?
It's, it's not going to beperfect.
Like, we're not trying to aimfor perfection.
We're trying to aim for forawareness, because once we have
(31:31):
that awareness, we can relax,and then we can start using some
of the mindset tools, which I'msure that you, you know, share
with,
Lisa (31:39):
Yeah,
Leah Davidson (31:39):
yeah, like the model.
Yeah, you can start reframingthings.
You can't really use the modelto its full capacity if you're
dysregulated, because whenyou're dysregulated, you're, I
call it your CEO, butessentially it's your thinking
skills, your executive functionskills goes offline.
And that's not a choice.
Great.
That's biological.
That's how it's meant to be.
(32:00):
When we are in survival mode,we're not in thinking mode.
And so that's an important thingfor people to notice that when
you are dysregulated, it's goingto be very hard to change your
thoughts because your, yournervous system is like, Listen,
we're in survival mode here.
I don't really care what you'rethinking and how curious and
compassionate you are.
(32:21):
Like, we need to survive, whichis why you try to calm that
system first.
When you calm that system, yourthinking skills come back.
Now I can start making somebetter choices.
Do I really want to eat this?
Do I really want to have this?
You know, what's it going tofeel like?
What's the discomfort goingthrough and using all those,
those thought tools?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lisa (32:40):
perfect.
Yeah.
I, um, not that thisdisqualifies you from working
with me or anything, but I donotice that with clients that
people that choose to work withme tend to be like ready.
And I ask them like, why are youcontacting me now?
And they're like, I'm ready tomake these changes.
And I feel like that's kind of asign of like, I'm, I'm pretty
(33:02):
regulated.
I, um, I know, and they're, andthey're ready to start working
on their thoughts.
I have had clients where noamount of that work, no amount
of, you know, being aware ismaking a difference.
And I suspect that this is, um,part of the factors.
Leah Davidson (33:19):
Yeah, I mean, the nervous system, like for all of
us, it doesn't matter howregulated you are, there is
going to be more, like, we needto be regulating ourselves
hundreds of times a day.
But as we work on our nervoussystem, it's kind of like what
happens is we build up ourcapacity for regulation.
I call it
Lisa (33:39):
that was actually going to be my next question is, okay,
keep going.
Leah Davidson (33:43):
we build up.
I call it that zone ofresilience.
We build up our capacity.
The more time we spend, it'slike building up our tolerance
for any kind of exercise per se.
You know, initially if I startrunning or, you know, doing some
exercise regime, it's It's goingto be hard.
I maybe will only be able to doit five minutes, but as I
continue doing it, it's 10minutes and then 20 minutes and
(34:06):
30, and all of a sudden it's twohours that I'm able to do it.
The nervous system is like that.
It's like the mental health gym.
The more I do things on aconsistent basis, the more I
build up the capacity fortolerance.
And eventually what happens is Iwill still get dysregulated, but
it's going to take me longer.
(34:28):
to get there.
And then once I am dysregulated,I know how to get myself back
home.
So it's almost like I'll be,I'll be more tolerant longer.
I'll still, I'm going to getdysregulated because I'm human.
We're not, we can't bypass thehuman experience.
We can't regulate away all thathumanness, but it is going to
take me a little bit longer.
(34:49):
And I think back to like havingkids, you know, as you build a
capacity for your nervoussystem, instead of getting
irritated within five minutes.
You know, it starts six minutes,and then seven minutes, and then
ten minutes, and eventually, youknow, maybe it's like half an
hour, where I'm just like, okay,well, now I'm going to walk away
from this, because, you know, wejust see a change.
(35:11):
It changes all ourrelationships, because We have
so much more compassion becausewe see like, okay, this is my
nervous system and that's theirnervous system.
You know, when my child ishaving a freak out on me, it's
not necessarily personally aboutme.
It's, I wonder what's going onwith their nervous system.
And so we, we increase ourcapacity and our tolerance.
Lisa (35:34):
Yeah.
And the more regulated you are,the more you're going to be able
to step into that.
Wonder what's happening forthem.
And, and even adult to adult,you know, when someone acts out,
a stranger acts out in thegrocery store.
I mean, even though it hasn'tbeen strictly nervous system
work, I think that my work as alife coach and getting trained
(35:54):
has just put me in more of aposition to say, I wonder what's
going on for them today, insteadof being critical.
And I think all of that justcontributes to your own
regulation and not getting firedup because someone else is
misbehaving
Leah Davidson (36:10):
That's right.
Lisa (36:11):
and I put misbehaving in air quotes, you know,
Leah Davidson (36:13):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We all misbehave.
Lisa (36:17):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like the more regulatedyou are in general, the more
you're going to be able to makewhat you consider good choices
with your nutrition though,right?
So the more you're regulating ona regular basis throughout the
day and finding things that arecreating peace and happiness for
(36:38):
you that aren't food.
It's just kind of like, uh, theopposite of a vicious cycle.
It's the, it's the amazingcycle.
Why don't we have a saying forthat?
Like,
Leah Davidson (36:47):
Yeah, it's true.
Lisa (36:49):
what is the opposite of a vicious cycle?
But it, it does, you know, themore regulated, the more you're
making choices that you like in,you know, with your nutrition
and your activity and yourpatients level, and then that's
going to lead into even moreregulation.
Would
Leah Davidson (37:06):
Yeah.
Right.
When you're in a state ofregulation, again, you have
access to your thinking skills.
When you have access to yourthinking skills, you can, um,
start living more intentionally.
And I, I, Often say to peopleyou, you want to figure out what
your values are, what'simportant to you, so that you
have like a map of how you wantto live.
(37:27):
So how do you want to livenutrition wise?
Like you said, you know,longevity to take care of making
sure that, you know, I'm eatingin a brain healthy way.
I know that you talked with,that's one of my passions too,
being a speech languagepathologist is like, what are
the things?
that are important for thebrain.
What are the nutrients for thebrain?
Well, you can start introducingthese nutrients, whether it's
(37:50):
like physical nutrients or likelearning and cognitive
nutrients.
You can start introducing thatwhen you're regulated.
If you're not regulated, yourCEO is checked out.
You don't have, you have likeminimum access.
It's not like you have none, butyou have minimum.
So it's harder to make goodchoices.
It's harder to liveintentionally.
(38:10):
Everything is based on like areaction because you don't have
that same capacity to think.
Lisa (38:18):
Perfect.
Oh, this has been so good.
So informative.
Well, I, I really am so excitedto dive into this resilience
journal.
And like I said, I will put alink to that in all three
beautiful colors in the shownotes and any, anything that we
missed Leah.
Leah Davidson (38:35):
No, I mean, I think I always love leaving the
key message that as you'velearned about your nervous
system, I, I really think yougain such a deep compassion for
yourself and for others aroundyou.
And, you know, sometimes when Isay that, oh, you have
compassion for others, like, oh,they just walk all over you and
everything.
I'm like, no, because you havecompassion for yourself as well,
(38:56):
which means that you'll puthealthy boundaries in.
So it just, it changes all yourrelationships when you can come
from that place of regulation.
I
Lisa (39:05):
Perfect.
I love it.
Thank you so much.
anywhere else that you want todirect people to find you
online.
Leah Davidson (39:11):
a podcast.
It's called Building Resilience.
So we talk all about all sortsof things, stuff like this.
Um, and then I'm on Instagramand Facebook at Leah Davidson
Life Coaching.
Lisa (39:21):
Perfect.
And again, we'll find all ofthat information in the show
notes.
Thanks again, Leah.
I am so glad you tuned in today.
Before I sign off, I wannaremind you of the what to do
when you overeat three partvideo course that I have.
If you are trying to lose weightand find yourself overeating too
many times to see lastingsuccess, be sure to check out
that free course.
(39:42):
It also comes with a reset andrecover guide that will help you
put everything you learn in thevideos in writing, and really
clarify each step so you canfeel confident.
Moving forward, that's free justfor my podcast listeners, so be
sure to grab that in the shownotes.
You can also book a free consultsession to see if my full 12
week one-on-one coaching programis right for you.
You can grab that link also inthe show notes.
(40:03):
Remember, it's not just aboutthe food, it's about empowering
yourself with choices that trulyserve you.
Have a great week and as always,thanks for listening and sharing
the Eat Well Think Well LiveWell podcast.
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