Perfectionism Isn’t High Standards — It’s Self-Protection in Disguise

Perfectionism nearly destroyed me. Not the cute, Pinterest-worthy kind where you like your desk organized just so, but the exhausting, life-limiting shield that convinced me my worth depended on flawlessness.

Sobbing uncontrollably over a B grade that still tied me for first place? Or staying up until 3 AM on Christmas Eve ensuring every gift was wrapped with military precision? That was me. When I launched my business, perfectionism morphed into endless website tweaks, pixel adjustments, and offer revisions—all clever disguises for what was really happening: I was terrified to launch because launching meant the possibility of disappointing someone.

As Brené Brown wisely notes, perfectionism isn't about high standards—it's about avoiding blame, judgment, and shame. It's a shield we carry, believing it protects us when actually it prevents our flight. The breakthrough came when I finally understood that perfectionism is about self-protection while excellence is about service to others. Perfectionism demands flawlessness before showing up; excellence encourages showing up fully while continuing to grow.

Breaking free required intentionally doing things imperfectly, widening my tolerance for being seen when not polished, and building a business that could function despite my perfectionistic tendencies. This journey inspired the System Seer playbook—combining nervous system regulation with strategic business systems so you can create from a place of ease, flow, and self-trust.

Ready to stop letting perfectionism keep you safe but small? Visit my website

https://thesystemseer.com/ssplaybook

 or DM me "playbook" on Instagram @thesystemseer. The real magic happens when you show up before you feel ready—not perfect, not polished, just present.

The System Seer Playbook is your guide to growing your business with out the burnout! The playbook is now in pre-sale, for a special limited-time rate!

Reserve your copy today, at https://thesystemseer.com/ssplaybook

Episode Transcript

Speaker 0 (00:00):
Hey friend, welcome back.
Today I want to talk aboutperfectionism, not the cute
Pinterest-y kind where you likethings a certain way.
I'm talking about the deep,exhausting, self-protective
perfectionism that quietly runsyour life until you don't even

(00:20):
remember who you are without it.
And I want to tell you my story.
Senior year of high school Iwas that kid Straight A's always
first in my class.
Valedictorian was basicallyalready printed on my forehead.
And then I got my first B.
I remember sitting in theguidance counselor's office and

(00:43):
just breaking.
I sobbed uncontrollably for anhour, couldn't breathe, couldn't
talk, couldn't even bringmyself back.
That B didn't just feel like agrade, it felt like my entire
worth had been ripped out fromunder me.
And here's the thing that Bdidn't make me second in my

(01:04):
class.
It tied me for first, but in mymind I had failed.
Fast forward a few years.
It's Christmas Eve and I'm upuntil three in the morning
wrapping gifts.
Why?
Because every crease in thepaper had to be perfectly folded
in.

(01:27):
The paper had to be perfectlyfolded, every bow perfectly tied
.
If the wrapping paper lookedperfect, maybe no one would
notice how much of a mess I feltlike inside.
And then came business.
Oh boy, the first few years Iwould spend hours tweaking my
website, adjusting fonts,shifting images by a single
pixel, changing my offers againand again.

(01:48):
And here's the truth I didn'twant to admit.
If I kept tweaking, it meant Ididn't have to actually launch.
And if I didn't launch, Icouldn't get clients.
And if I didn't get clients, Icouldn't let anyone down.
That wasn't high standards,that was fear.
It took me a long time tounderstand the difference

(02:10):
between perfectionism andexcellence.
Perfectionism is aboutprotecting yourself.
As Brene Brown says, and Iquote perfectionism is not the
same thing as striving to beyour best.
Perfectionism is the beliefthat if we live perfect, look

(02:33):
perfect and act perfect, we canminimize or avoid the pain of
blame, judgment and shame.
It's a shield.
It's a 20-ton shield that welug around thinking it will
protect us, when in fact it'sthe thing that's really
preventing us from flight.
Excellence is about servingothers.
Perfectionism says don't showup until it's flawless.

(02:54):
Excellence says show up fully,knowing you'll keep growing.
Perfectionism keeps your giftslocked away.
Excellence lets you share them,messy and alive, so they can
make an impact now.
So I had to start intentionallydoing things not perfect on

(03:14):
purpose.
I had to widen my window oftolerance for being seen when it
wasn't all polished.
I had to stop outsourcing myworth to gold stars, applause or
client feedback.
And I did a lot of inner workto get there Daily rituals,
nervous system regulation,spiritual practices, reminders

(03:36):
to myself over and over that Iam enough Messy, imperfect, that
I am enough Messy, imperfect,flawed, beautiful enough.
Here's the truth.
Perfectionism will keep yousafe, but it will also keep you
small.
The irony, the real magichappens when you let people see

(03:58):
you before you feel ready.
And this is exactly why theSystem Seer playbook is filled
with both nervous system ritualsand business systems.
Because you can'tout-strategize perfectionism.
You have to regulate your bodyso it feels safe to show up.
You have to have systems inplace so your business runs,

(04:21):
even when your brain says, wait,it's not ready yet.
The playbook is the roadmap Iwish I'd had back in those
B-grade, bow-perfect,tweak-till-you-drop days.
It's the exact process thattook me from terrified of
getting it wrong to creatingfrom a place of ease, flow and

(04:41):
self-trust.
You can find all the details onmy website Link is in the show
notes or find me on Instagram.
I'm the system seer.
Just DM me the word playbookand I'll send you the link.
So if perfectionism has beenrunning your show, maybe it's
time to try something different.

(05:02):
Not perfect, not polished, justpresent.
That's where the magic is.
Have a beautiful day and I'llcatch you on the next episode of
Effortlessly Productive.