February 16, 2022 • 25 mins
We are back and excited for the season ahead.
Each fortnight we are dishing up bite sized, curated content and actionable tips to help focus you on achieving success on your own terms.
This episode we check in on our word for the year and then dive into a very topical issue of facing into the changes that are occurring in our post pandemic workplaces and homes as we all seek to solve how we learn from this experience and perhaps adapt to a new way of working.
We encourage you to think about what you need to achieve your goals and start to define what is working for you, how you want to show up, and what changes you are seeking. In this episode we share some compelling figures to take into your next chat and some thought leadership to help see all of your options.
Action challenge: Let's get curious and courageous about identifying someone in your life, whether that's your partner, your boss, anyone, identifying someone in your life that you need to have some brave conversations with, that would result in you taking a step forward to living life on your terms.
Exciting news we are featured on Feedspots top Australian women podcasts:
https://blog.feedspot.com/australian_women_podcasts/
Links:
https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/the-state-of-burnout-for-women-in-the-workplace
https://www2.deloitte.com/global/en/pages/about-deloitte/articles/women-at-work-global-outlook.html
https://hbr.org/2014/12/rethink-what-you-know-about-high-achieving-women
Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott
Simon Sinek, Infinite Game
http://www.elevatewithgrace.com.au
Music created by Claire's daughter Hannah
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Miranda (00:00):
Welcome to season two of the elevate with grace
podcast, for people who areshort on time and long to take
steps, to create success ontheir own terms.
This podcast is here for womenwho feel overworked,
underappreciated, and stuckspinning plates with aspirations
for more.
We take the plethora of Intelout there and curate it down to
(00:20):
the highest value Intel
Miranda (2) (00:22):
combined
Miranda (00:23):
with our lived experiences offering bite-sized
actionable tips so you can lookback at the end of the quarter,
end of the year, knowing you areworking towards achieving
success on your own terms.
Claire (00:33):
Hello to everyone out there and hello to my beautiful
co-host Miranda.
I am Claire Cornfield, and thisis episode one, season two of
our elevate with grace podcast.
When we kick off into a newyear, it often comes with
reflection and looking inwardsand what has changed with both
ourselves and also within ourworlds with our family, with our
(00:55):
friends, our work colleagues,their bosses.
We start to think about how wewant to do things differently.
So what we want to explore overthe next couple of podcasts is
how to have brave conversations,why they're important, what
they're about and what they'renot about.
Then in the next episode, we'lltalk about how to have brave
conversations.
It's such an important time tobe talking about this right now.
(01:18):
For those of you who listened ininto our first season.
One of our key things for eachof our podcasts is we like to
set an action challenge and forthe podcast this week, it's all
around.
Getting curious and courageousabout identifying someone in
your life, whether that's yourpartner, your boss, anyone,
identifying someone in yourlife, get curious about who that
would be, that you need to havesome brave conversations with,
(01:40):
that would result in you takinga step forward to living life on
your terms.
Miranda (01:45):
If you've just joined us a huge welcome.
to season two.
If you love this episode, pleasesubscribe and share of course,
but also know that there's aready library from Season one
with clear topics for you toutilize what you need.
Here you will find our mostpopular episodes so far episode
two, what is holding you backalong with episodes, identifying
your big picture, a book reviewon the one thing, taking smart
(02:07):
risks, how to make qualitydecisions, a review of Emma
Isaacs book, Winging Itcultivating your career success
and a great financial chat withClaire.
There is so much to share.
I hope you enjoy.
I am so excited to be kickingoff season two.
I am super grateful for thebreak over summer.
I feel a collective refocusedand calming from all of those
around me that've been luckyenough to pause, and I really
(02:29):
hope that everyone gets a breaksoon.
Restored and excited to be backexcited for future episodes,
future action, challenges andarticles that we have coming up.
And I'm conservativelyoptimistic for the year ahead.
How about you Claire?
Claire (02:43):
I like that conservatively optimistic.
The COVID pandemic is the giftthat keeps on giving even into
2022.
But like you, I am feelingpretty hopeful about the year
ahead.
Everything's a baseline from thetwo years that we've just been
on.
So it can only be upwards fromhere if still a bit
conservatively and cautiously.
I am really pumped andpassionate about kicking off our
(03:03):
second season of elevate withgrace pods, where we explore the
whys, whats and hows of takingactions day by day, week by week
towards living a life ofsuccess, defined by ourselves
and not by those expectationsaround us.
For me, I started the yearfocused on taking ownership and
getting back into my whole oflife balance and owning that.
(03:25):
With my health and wellbeing,I've been resetting boundaries
and all in the help of findingmy energy and spark again, after
what's been a pretty hecticcouple of years.
I'm being perfectly honest, I'vestill got a little bit to do in
terms of planning.
But I have started thinkingabout what's my word, what's on
my vision board and as alwaysneeds a bit of continuous work.
(03:45):
But as I keep reminding myself,done is better than perfect so
they're kicking off to a goodstart.
What about you?
Have you got your word for 2022?
Miranda (03:54):
I absolutely have.
I think the two weeks break justgave me headspace.
I found towards the end of lastyear, I said no mental load to
think of anything exceptsurvival.
My word of the year is createand I'm looking to create time,
create space, create love,create community, create the
environment in the world that Iwant to live in and also to
spend more time creating,
Claire (04:15):
Create podcasts content!
Miranda (04:17):
Absolutely.
I first started cultivating aword in 2017 and I've really
found so much success in thismore so than resolutions.
I spoke about this in episodeone last year.
I think you've got your word andthen you can see how that's
going to roll out for you intothe goals and plans, which of
course we've been talking a lotabout on Instagram lately.
And I really enjoyed planningout the next three to six
(04:37):
months.
I don't usually try and tackle awhole year but nice to start
cultivating the word create.
I know you love this practice.
So what are you vibing for thisyear?
Claire (04:45):
Last year I had three words, but after our podcast
conversations this year, I havecome up with one word it's a
little bit left of field andcreative, so my word for 2022 is
Thunderbird.
The reason I chose Thunderbirdit's because it is a creative
mythical spirit animal, and apowerful one that helps you find
(05:06):
your way when you're faced withdramatic changes and you need to
make important decisions duringtimes of profound crisis, AKA
COVID pandemics, it's believedthat Thunderbirds coming to the
rescue, helping you findstability as a leader and
helping humanity create a muchneeded reset.
So that all felt very weirdlyaligned with what's going on in
(05:27):
the world right now.
It's all about being in thedriver's seat and enhancing my
power center It's about,anchoring myself to that inner
power and using it to change mylife circumstances and help
others around me change theirlife circumstances, create the
energy and freedom to help melive more of what I want to do
and success on my own terms.
Like you I've got a good threemonth plan and then a reasonably
(05:50):
good six month plan.
But at this point in time withthe two years, it's been six
months feels like a lot.
So I'm good with that.
Miranda (05:58):
Such a fantastic word.
Well done on this finding,that's incredible.
Like it's really does speak tothis future and I think hopeful.
Claire (06:06):
And interestingly, if we think about the reset and the
Thunderbird coming, when we needto do big changes and all that
sort of stuff, it reminds me ofwhy we're talking about having
brave conversations and theimportance of brave
conversations, because there's alot of buzz going around right
now.
We spoke about it in one of ourlate podcasts in 2021.
In terms of the greatresignation.
(06:27):
Driven by the great reflection.
A great reset all of that sortof stuff.
I do think it's a big deal interms of the change and where
people's head space are at.
Living life in a pandemic, It'sthe hottest thing that a lot of
us have been through.
Let's be honest.
And so with that comes a lot of,views and changes about how we
want to do things and change ourlife.
Miranda (06:46):
It's exciting and it's opportunity to redefine how we
work, redefine how we show upis, definitely what we want to
talk about today.
In these brave conversations,it's going to think about what
you want and the why now is, asmuch as it's out there in the
media, and it's a little bit ofwhat collectively the
community's doing, there's anopportunity for you to
individually think about whatdoes this mean for you?
(07:07):
How do you want to redefine howyou do things?
And it doesn't mean a hugeamount of change.
It can mean having some braveconversations to tweak.
What was 20 nineteens way ofworking or way of showing up and
redefining what that looks foryou today.
Claire (07:22):
That's one of the things that I really wanted to talk
about is the first braveconversation you need to have is
with yourself and really.
What has the last two years beenfor me as an individual?
And what does that make me feelabout certain things and how do
I need to tweak and adjustthings?
Maybe it's not massive.
Maybe it is massive.
We're all in differentheadspaces.
(07:42):
And so this could be reallymassive.
Life-changing braveconversations.
But also there could be tweaksand resetting some boundaries on
the home front or the Workfront.
Massive, hot topic at the momentthat a lot of people talking
about return to the office and,what conversations are you
having around that?
So I think everyone's indifferent spaces, but the other
thing that's important too, weare pretty fatigued.
(08:03):
We are pretty tired.
And so we need to reignite someof that.
Guts and courageousness aroundhaving some tough conversations.
I think we tend to sit behindzoom meetings.
Sometimes it's a bit easier tojust go, whatever.
I just go with the flow and Ican't be bothered and it's all
too hard and I'm prettyexhausted.
But we are here to have a prettypassionate discussion on why we
(08:26):
can't keep doing that.
And I think the last thing isOne of the major reasons we
can't do that and suppress ourvoice is because of the negative
health and wellbeing aspects.
A lot of people are experiencinga lot of conversations about
burnout and the thing is holdingyour voice and suppressing your
voice and suppressing thosefeelings.
Not having those conversationsis really not good for your
(08:48):
health and wellbeing either.
Nevermind your success on yourown terms.
Miranda (08:52):
On the topic of burnout, a great podcast that I
stumbled across in the lastcouple of weeks was this
McKinsey podcast, it was thelast one.
December, 2021.
They were talking about thisstudy of women in the workforce
and how many women were burningout and reaching just an
absolute tether.
And while it is from a USperspective, it really couldn't
(09:13):
be true for the Australianexperience.
I've heard a couple of nicestories of global companies
recognizing the Australianexperience and encouraging teams
to take it easy.
Cause we know particularlySydney and Melbourne, it has
been absolutely tough.
Yeah, to deal with this.
And I think we dragged ourselvesacross the finish line.
Huge amount of women looking tomake change.
Claire (09:32):
Yeah, I know.
I had to keep, stop walking, toget some of the stats on a name,
I have these 100% correct butthe women in the workplace
report, they do it every yearbetween this report and the
previous year's report,something like almost 50% more
women are reporting burnoutcompared to men as relative to
the gap, that was betweengenders from the previous year.
(09:52):
So 50% more women have reportingburnout compared to their male
counterparts and that women,senior leaders do 26% more to
help their employees than theirmale counterparts in navigating
work life challenges of theiremployees and helping those
employees manage their workloadand spend 60% more of their time
(10:12):
providing emotional support totheir staff.
They're taking that all on oftheir employees.
Talk about burnout on top ofburnout, but the stats were
pretty full and actually I waspretty confronted by them.
I must admit.
Miranda (10:23):
It was, but I also felt like I was in good company.
Yeah, it's ah, that, wasn't justmy experience.
That was just the livedexperience.
Not just in Australia, but inthe U S as well.
A Deloitte study conducted lastMay.
So/about seven months ago nowfound that nearly 80% of women
reported an increase in theirworkload, which we're not
(10:43):
surprised by lost their jobs,just stripped down workplaces,
you're stretching, but then thework came back the people didn't
come back, so we're working inthis workforce where we're
really struggling to keep upthose normal levels of work.
Claire (10:55):
Not to mention all of the additional work that we're
doing on the home front forthose homeschooling.
And it just generally.
Miranda (11:02):
So back to the WHY now this report identified in may
last year, 25% of women werealready ready to just leave the
workforce and we certainly sawin 20, 20, 90,000 women already
had left the workforce.
So if we consider another 25%,that is absolutely massive.
If 51% were planning to leavetheir employer in the next two
(11:24):
years.
So seven months in, it's notsurprising.
And the reason that we want totalk about brave conversations
is that, there is other optionsmaybe you don't always have to
leave to make change.
Claire (11:35):
Yeah, definitely.
Fascinatingly, I was readinganother article this time.
A HBR article back in 2014.
I don't think it would be muchdifferent now to be perfectly
honest, but the insight was.
Only 25% of women relative totheir male counterparts at
certain levels of management whobasically lean in and do more.
(11:58):
Only 25% of them rewarded bypromotions, recognition, and
extra money for all of thateffort they put in.
The article is called rethinkwhat you know about
high-achieving women and what ittalks to is the fact that women
don't actually check out fromtheir career out of choice to
care from the family.
It is a massive unconsciousbias, according to this article.
(12:20):
The reason that women check outof their career is because they
can see that they'resignificantly leaning in.
We're all leaning in.
We're doing all this extra work.
We are taking all this extraresponsibility on, and yet we
are only getting recognized andrewarded for that and paid for
that 25% of the time relative toour male colleagues and peers.
That's pretty frustrating.
(12:41):
Like it's no wonder that we'regetting a bit Jack of this
stuff.
Miranda (2) (12:44):
I can see that, if women are taking 80% more work
and they're running at this,they do it working up and down.
Then also, if we think back tothat season one, episode two,
where we're looking at theintrinsic behaviors and what's
holding you back.
Potentially their needs aren'tbeing met.
So yes, the recognition isn'tthere, but also they're not
being able to output theirperfect work then making
(13:05):
mistakes they're tired.
They're compromising their ownwork values in terms of maybe
timeliness or meetingexpectations or being there to
support their staff.
And so they're going, you knowwhat?
I can't keep letting people downthis doesn't feel comfortable.
I'm constantly in a state ofdiscomfort and feeling like I'm
not achieving.
(13:25):
Why am I here And I thinkleaving the financial review had
an article this week, but I wastalking this few staff to do
more work the result of theirsystem, those staff leave.
So the kind of compoundingeffort, very few people left
spending a lot of plates.
And I think we really need tothink about changing how we go
about this.
Personally I think the way wecan change it is to have brave
(13:45):
conversations to really affectchange.
Leadership, certainly readingthe room, talking to your team
and making sure that youropening up to those brave
conversations.
Claire (13:54):
I certainly think that in a 24 hour, seven days a week
world where we always switchedon, very hard to discern between
what's busy work.
What should I be spending mytime on?
What is the one thing that Ineeded to get done?
There's so many pressures.
And I think the braveconversations, and I think later
on in the season, we're talkingabout time and bounds.
(14:14):
It's all very linked in fromthat perspective.
I haven't seen the financialreview stuff this week, so I'll
need to check that=out.
Miranda (14:21):
Yeah, that's very good.
I think Simon Sinek also put outthis week a bit of a view on
this period of time and sees itis an opportunity to correct the
power and balances and somefairly ordinary work practices
that have been leading up to2020.
Asking businesses to really stepup and create an environment
where people feel the passionfeel empowered to work.
(14:44):
Of course it goes back to thework around why, making sure
that employees are empowered asa leader.
Your job is to identify a greatskillset within somebody, give
them all of the passion, the whythey've got the tools, allow
them to go and do that job andempower them.
And his barista example wasquite powerful where it's the
same barista was working in twohotels.
(15:05):
In one, really engaged, had agreat conversation with this
barista and asked him about hisjob And he was so impressed with
his work.
But that very same barista inanother hotel, he said he didn't
even feel like he was safe tohave his voice.
He just came in, did his shiftsand left and the same person,
but in a workplace thatcultivates and looks, the
(15:26):
infinite game and supports youas opposed to one that is just
very managerial.
You've got your manager watchingover your shoulder every minute
and not encouraging.
Be a human being and have thosegreat conversations with people
at the coffee machine orwherever that is.
Miranda (2) (15:40):
I think the way we can change it is to have those
brave conversations
Claire (15:43):
That is a really good story to demonstrate the
employer impact on whethersomeone is thriving or not in,
in a particular role, same job,same role, and then same person
just completely differentworkplaces.
Miranda (15:58):
Yeah.
It's suggest that people whoweren't leaving their job prior
to COVID because the job isokay.
They didn't want to resetsecurity unless it got really
painful.
And we certainly see that withpeople that don't tend to make a
change, unless it's so painfulwhereas I think what the COVID
has allowed us to do is realizethat, the workplace now has to
step up before that Aristaneeded to work in both of those
(16:18):
organizations.
Now it's such a labor shortageis only going to work in the
places that are good and thatare going to cultivate his
empowerment
Claire (16:24):
I think that's a good segue to get from talking about
the reasons why we think talkingabout brave conversations in
terms of more around what abrave conversation is, because I
think that one of the key thingsyou mentioned about Simon Sinek
about workplaces have to come tothe party on this.
And with brave conversations, aconversation is between two
(16:46):
people so both parties have tocome in ready to have that brave
conversation.
There's a great book that I readyears ago called fierce
conversations by Susan Scott,and it gives a lot of great
tools on what a braveconversation is and how to have
one.
One of the key critical thingsis that in order to have a
bright conversation, it must befilled with the Goodwill and
(17:08):
compassion.
It's not brutal honesty.
That is not what we're talkingabout.
When we're talking about veryconversations, brave
conversations involve activelistening.
It's boots on the ground interms of being present.
It's walking alongside eachother in terms of empathy.
It's not about, here are mydemands.
What I want you now to need todo this, that and the other for
(17:28):
me.
That's not a brave conversation.
A brave conversation is alsolistening to the point of view,
whether it's your employer,whether it's your partner, it's
about being curious andopen-hearted about their
perspective as well.
It's a two way conversation.
And there's some really goodtechniques in that book on, on
how to approach them.
And we'll talk more about thatnext week It's this is the
(17:50):
challenge that we're in at themoment and possibly a bit of
tension that we're all havingis.
How do you set up theseconversations because they need
to be really curious.
Both people need to be reallyopen-hearted about that to, to
work it out and get progress.
Miranda (18:05):
I think the other thing is to remember that people want
to hear this.
So I think a lot of people gointo a brave conversation or a
negotiation thinking that it'svery one-sided that they need to
get their opinion across, orthey need to be heard.
In many cases, your managerwants to hear what you've got to
say, your CEO wants to knowwhat's maybe not working cause
(18:25):
very high chances that its notjust you.
A great example is the remoteworkplace.
The female lead published a pollon LinkedIn around remote
working.
Miranda (2) (18:35):
And what they're asking is would you even
consider a job if the workplacewasn't offering fit flexible
remote hybrid working and theresult was 70% would not even
apply for the job.
So if you're having aconversation with your workplace
about I only want to be in theoffice for a couple of days a
week, and from home.
You can bring some of thoseconversations to the front.
(18:56):
And so you're not just talkingabout what you personally need
or that's really important.
You're thinking about what theemployer needs to hear from you,
and also potentially giving thema little bit of context.
most people have said that theywon't apply for a role if it
doesn't even include this.
So I really need to bring thisinto my world because this is
something that is important tome.
Claire (19:16):
It's getting behind.
Why is that your perspective?
What is it that you're trying toachieve from that?
What do you feel like you'remissing?
There's got to be someunderstanding and curiosity
around why they're taking thatposition and how else could
those challenges be solved?
So that it's a win-win situationfor everyone.
How do we capitalize on this Sowe have these bright
(19:39):
conversations?
Miranda (19:39):
Hopefully you've got great leaders.
And I think you'll point, isthat getting curious on both
sides?
So what do you need out of this?
Asking the right questions and,remote work is probably a quite
tropical one at the moment, butthis can absolutely span for a
whole lot of things.
Back to your point about activelistening, there's a really
great piece in here where youbuild your case you've
(20:03):
presented, but you haven't comein with a zero sum game where
it's if I don't get what I wantright now, I'm out, you come in
with this, like this is reallyimportant and I'm really
concerned for you as anorganization, that this is a
topic that went up toaddressing, or we're not dealing
with in a way that I think isgonna work.
There's no threats.
It's like negotiation whereyou're both looking to get to a
(20:25):
point that's comfortable, andthe idea of negotiation outcome
is win-win and it's a lot kinderto be clear and to communicate
what's going on in your worldrather than.
Just expect that people can readyour mind and that, what's going
on.
Claire (20:38):
I wonder to whether having to do everything in a
zoom world, in a virtual world,we can tend to think I don't
want to have these conversationssessions now I'll wait till I
get back into the office.
But.
In terms of that book that Imentioned fierce conversations
by Susan Scott.
I was trying to do a bit of arefresh on that book without
having to reread, read the book.
Episode 100 of the one thingpodcast.
(20:59):
So we talked about the one thingpodcasts before, he has a
conversation with Susan Scott,who is the author of the fierce
conversations, and they have afierce conversation in the
podcast.
Through the first conversation,he gets really upset.
It's a really foreignconversation.
It's very interesting, they'reactually having their
conversation via a virtualmeeting tool.
(21:20):
And so I was like that blowsthat kind of argument out of the
water that you can't have.
So it's about again, it's aboutthe techniques.
It's about the planning.
It's about both parties.
Putting boots on the ground tobe present in the moment to have
a very curious, 360 situationgoing on.
Otherwise you are going to driveyourself crazy, having
conversations with people thatare, that have got barriers up
(21:43):
and don't want to listen.
And so I think that's where,when we talk about our action
challenge for this week respectabout it at the beginning about
getting curious and courageousabout identifying someone with
your wife.
If you may need to have somebrief conversations with that is
really important when you'rethinking about who this person
is, that you're going to havethat conversation with.
It's okay because they, and howyou're going to approach that
(22:03):
and planning.
And we'll talk about the, how inthe next episode, but the who,
it has, you have to, in my mind,you have to feel that it someone
one that it's going to beimpactful in terms of success on
your own terms that we've talkedabout.
That's obviously important, butthe, who has to be very
important because it has to besomeone that's also able.
To step out of their armour, inBrene Brown's terms and also be
(22:24):
curious and wanting to learn.
I think that's an importantaspect of what we're talking
about here.
Miranda (22:30):
And do you find that many people I've certainly found
these people have come to youand they've shared this this
maybe they've worked up to abrief conversation and they're
sharing it.
You like a shotgun, like bam.
I ha hold on just one second.
Let me just understand.
I'm somebody you want to beheard and I can totally hear
what you're putting down here,but is this, where is this
(22:52):
coming from?
So setting up that raincoatconversation in advance to
really make sure that you have.
You're not yeah.
You're not just doing a managerand one-on-one meeting and all
of a sudden you're going, here'sall my challenges actually
going.
I'd like to have a conversationwith you.
This is a concern of mine andthis is something I'd really
like to have a curious two wayconversation about let's
schedule some time for that.
(23:13):
So setting it up, making surethat when you both go into that
meeting, you know where you'recoming from.
That's definitely totallythrough
Claire (23:19):
that.
That's where you have todefinitely.
Yeah exactly.
We're going into the house as wealways do.
We love the house, we're notthere yet.
We're so we'll cover that inthat next episode in a
fortnight's time.
So as we mentioned, a couple oftimes, the action challenge is
just to get curious about allthis as always, there'll be the
content.
If you want to go into deeperinto some of the content we
(23:39):
mentioned, that will be in theepisode.
Also please check out ourwebsite, www.
elevatewithgrace.com.au or hoponto our Instagram account for
more curated content andthoughts about actionable steps
and things that you might wantto put in place for success on
your own terms.
We would love, love, love tohear from you and have brave
conversations with you about howyou're going.
(24:01):
So please drop us an email atelevatewithgrace@gmail.com and
please and subscribe and sharethis podcast with people.
If you think that they wouldalso enjoy it.
did you have any final commentsto say
Miranda (24:17):
best of luck, preparing these brave conversations, make
sure you write it down, makesure you sleep on it and really
have a great couple of
Claire (24:26):
weeks.
Yes.
Have a great couple of weeks.
You too Miranda.
And I can't wait to chat to youall again in a couple of weeks
time.
Thanks so much for listening.
Thank
Miranda (24:35):
you.
Thanks Claire.
Welcome to season two of the elevate with grace
podcast, for people who areshort on time and long to take
steps, to create success ontheir own terms.
This podcast is here for womenwho feel overworked,
underappreciated, and stuckspinning plates with aspirations
for more.
We take the plethora of Intelout there and curate it down to
(00:20):
the highest value Intel
Miranda (2) (00:22):
combined
Miranda (00:23):
with our lived experiences offering bite-sized
actionable tips so you can lookback at the end of the quarter,
end of the year, knowing you areworking towards achieving
success on your own terms.
Claire (00:33):
Hello to everyone out there and hello to my beautiful
co-host Miranda.
I am Claire Cornfield, and thisis episode one, season two of
our elevate with grace podcast.
When we kick off into a newyear, it often comes with
reflection and looking inwardsand what has changed with both
ourselves and also within ourworlds with our family, with our
(00:55):
friends, our work colleagues,their bosses.
We start to think about how wewant to do things differently.
So what we want to explore overthe next couple of podcasts is
how to have brave conversations,why they're important, what
they're about and what they'renot about.
Then in the next episode, we'lltalk about how to have brave
conversations.
It's such an important time tobe talking about this right now.
(01:18):
For those of you who listened ininto our first season.
One of our key things for eachof our podcasts is we like to
set an action challenge and forthe podcast this week, it's all
around.
Getting curious and courageousabout identifying someone in
your life, whether that's yourpartner, your boss, anyone,
identifying someone in yourlife, get curious about who that
would be, that you need to havesome brave conversations with,
(01:40):
that would result in you takinga step forward to living life on
your terms.
Miranda (01:45):
If you've just joined us a huge welcome.
to season two.
If you love this episode, pleasesubscribe and share of course,
but also know that there's aready library from Season one
with clear topics for you toutilize what you need.
Here you will find our mostpopular episodes so far episode
two, what is holding you backalong with episodes, identifying
your big picture, a book reviewon the one thing, taking smart
(02:07):
risks, how to make qualitydecisions, a review of Emma
Isaacs book, Winging Itcultivating your career success
and a great financial chat withClaire.
There is so much to share.
I hope you enjoy.
I am so excited to be kickingoff season two.
I am super grateful for thebreak over summer.
I feel a collective refocusedand calming from all of those
around me that've been luckyenough to pause, and I really
(02:29):
hope that everyone gets a breaksoon.
Restored and excited to be backexcited for future episodes,
future action, challenges andarticles that we have coming up.
And I'm conservativelyoptimistic for the year ahead.
How about you Claire?
Claire (02:43):
I like that conservatively optimistic.
The COVID pandemic is the giftthat keeps on giving even into
2022.
But like you, I am feelingpretty hopeful about the year
ahead.
Everything's a baseline from thetwo years that we've just been
on.
So it can only be upwards fromhere if still a bit
conservatively and cautiously.
I am really pumped andpassionate about kicking off our
(03:03):
second season of elevate withgrace pods, where we explore the
whys, whats and hows of takingactions day by day, week by week
towards living a life ofsuccess, defined by ourselves
and not by those expectationsaround us.
For me, I started the yearfocused on taking ownership and
getting back into my whole oflife balance and owning that.
(03:25):
With my health and wellbeing,I've been resetting boundaries
and all in the help of findingmy energy and spark again, after
what's been a pretty hecticcouple of years.
I'm being perfectly honest, I'vestill got a little bit to do in
terms of planning.
But I have started thinkingabout what's my word, what's on
my vision board and as alwaysneeds a bit of continuous work.
(03:45):
But as I keep reminding myself,done is better than perfect so
they're kicking off to a goodstart.
What about you?
Have you got your word for 2022?
Miranda (03:54):
I absolutely have.
I think the two weeks break justgave me headspace.
I found towards the end of lastyear, I said no mental load to
think of anything exceptsurvival.
My word of the year is createand I'm looking to create time,
create space, create love,create community, create the
environment in the world that Iwant to live in and also to
spend more time creating,
Claire (04:15):
Create podcasts content!
Miranda (04:17):
Absolutely.
I first started cultivating aword in 2017 and I've really
found so much success in thismore so than resolutions.
I spoke about this in episodeone last year.
I think you've got your word andthen you can see how that's
going to roll out for you intothe goals and plans, which of
course we've been talking a lotabout on Instagram lately.
And I really enjoyed planningout the next three to six
(04:37):
months.
I don't usually try and tackle awhole year but nice to start
cultivating the word create.
I know you love this practice.
So what are you vibing for thisyear?
Claire (04:45):
Last year I had three words, but after our podcast
conversations this year, I havecome up with one word it's a
little bit left of field andcreative, so my word for 2022 is
Thunderbird.
The reason I chose Thunderbirdit's because it is a creative
mythical spirit animal, and apowerful one that helps you find
(05:06):
your way when you're faced withdramatic changes and you need to
make important decisions duringtimes of profound crisis, AKA
COVID pandemics, it's believedthat Thunderbirds coming to the
rescue, helping you findstability as a leader and
helping humanity create a muchneeded reset.
So that all felt very weirdlyaligned with what's going on in
(05:27):
the world right now.
It's all about being in thedriver's seat and enhancing my
power center It's about,anchoring myself to that inner
power and using it to change mylife circumstances and help
others around me change theirlife circumstances, create the
energy and freedom to help melive more of what I want to do
and success on my own terms.
Like you I've got a good threemonth plan and then a reasonably
(05:50):
good six month plan.
But at this point in time withthe two years, it's been six
months feels like a lot.
So I'm good with that.
Miranda (05:58):
Such a fantastic word.
Well done on this finding,that's incredible.
Like it's really does speak tothis future and I think hopeful.
Claire (06:06):
And interestingly, if we think about the reset and the
Thunderbird coming, when we needto do big changes and all that
sort of stuff, it reminds me ofwhy we're talking about having
brave conversations and theimportance of brave
conversations, because there's alot of buzz going around right
now.
We spoke about it in one of ourlate podcasts in 2021.
In terms of the greatresignation.
(06:27):
Driven by the great reflection.
A great reset all of that sortof stuff.
I do think it's a big deal interms of the change and where
people's head space are at.
Living life in a pandemic, It'sthe hottest thing that a lot of
us have been through.
Let's be honest.
And so with that comes a lot of,views and changes about how we
want to do things and change ourlife.
Miranda (06:46):
It's exciting and it's opportunity to redefine how we
work, redefine how we show upis, definitely what we want to
talk about today.
In these brave conversations,it's going to think about what
you want and the why now is, asmuch as it's out there in the
media, and it's a little bit ofwhat collectively the
community's doing, there's anopportunity for you to
individually think about whatdoes this mean for you?
(07:07):
How do you want to redefine howyou do things?
And it doesn't mean a hugeamount of change.
It can mean having some braveconversations to tweak.
What was 20 nineteens way ofworking or way of showing up and
redefining what that looks foryou today.
Claire (07:22):
That's one of the things that I really wanted to talk
about is the first braveconversation you need to have is
with yourself and really.
What has the last two years beenfor me as an individual?
And what does that make me feelabout certain things and how do
I need to tweak and adjustthings?
Maybe it's not massive.
Maybe it is massive.
We're all in differentheadspaces.
(07:42):
And so this could be reallymassive.
Life-changing braveconversations.
But also there could be tweaksand resetting some boundaries on
the home front or the Workfront.
Massive, hot topic at the momentthat a lot of people talking
about return to the office and,what conversations are you
having around that?
So I think everyone's indifferent spaces, but the other
thing that's important too, weare pretty fatigued.
(08:03):
We are pretty tired.
And so we need to reignite someof that.
Guts and courageousness aroundhaving some tough conversations.
I think we tend to sit behindzoom meetings.
Sometimes it's a bit easier tojust go, whatever.
I just go with the flow and Ican't be bothered and it's all
too hard and I'm prettyexhausted.
But we are here to have a prettypassionate discussion on why we
(08:26):
can't keep doing that.
And I think the last thing isOne of the major reasons we
can't do that and suppress ourvoice is because of the negative
health and wellbeing aspects.
A lot of people are experiencinga lot of conversations about
burnout and the thing is holdingyour voice and suppressing your
voice and suppressing thosefeelings.
Not having those conversationsis really not good for your
(08:48):
health and wellbeing either.
Nevermind your success on yourown terms.
Miranda (08:52):
On the topic of burnout, a great podcast that I
stumbled across in the lastcouple of weeks was this
McKinsey podcast, it was thelast one.
December, 2021.
They were talking about thisstudy of women in the workforce
and how many women were burningout and reaching just an
absolute tether.
And while it is from a USperspective, it really couldn't
(09:13):
be true for the Australianexperience.
I've heard a couple of nicestories of global companies
recognizing the Australianexperience and encouraging teams
to take it easy.
Cause we know particularlySydney and Melbourne, it has
been absolutely tough.
Yeah, to deal with this.
And I think we dragged ourselvesacross the finish line.
Huge amount of women looking tomake change.
Claire (09:32):
Yeah, I know.
I had to keep, stop walking, toget some of the stats on a name,
I have these 100% correct butthe women in the workplace
report, they do it every yearbetween this report and the
previous year's report,something like almost 50% more
women are reporting burnoutcompared to men as relative to
the gap, that was betweengenders from the previous year.
(09:52):
So 50% more women have reportingburnout compared to their male
counterparts and that women,senior leaders do 26% more to
help their employees than theirmale counterparts in navigating
work life challenges of theiremployees and helping those
employees manage their workloadand spend 60% more of their time
(10:12):
providing emotional support totheir staff.
They're taking that all on oftheir employees.
Talk about burnout on top ofburnout, but the stats were
pretty full and actually I waspretty confronted by them.
I must admit.
Miranda (10:23):
It was, but I also felt like I was in good company.
Yeah, it's ah, that, wasn't justmy experience.
That was just the livedexperience.
Not just in Australia, but inthe U S as well.
A Deloitte study conducted lastMay.
So/about seven months ago nowfound that nearly 80% of women
reported an increase in theirworkload, which we're not
(10:43):
surprised by lost their jobs,just stripped down workplaces,
you're stretching, but then thework came back the people didn't
come back, so we're working inthis workforce where we're
really struggling to keep upthose normal levels of work.
Claire (10:55):
Not to mention all of the additional work that we're
doing on the home front forthose homeschooling.
And it just generally.
Miranda (11:02):
So back to the WHY now this report identified in may
last year, 25% of women werealready ready to just leave the
workforce and we certainly sawin 20, 20, 90,000 women already
had left the workforce.
So if we consider another 25%,that is absolutely massive.
If 51% were planning to leavetheir employer in the next two
(11:24):
years.
So seven months in, it's notsurprising.
And the reason that we want totalk about brave conversations
is that, there is other optionsmaybe you don't always have to
leave to make change.
Claire (11:35):
Yeah, definitely.
Fascinatingly, I was readinganother article this time.
A HBR article back in 2014.
I don't think it would be muchdifferent now to be perfectly
honest, but the insight was.
Only 25% of women relative totheir male counterparts at
certain levels of management whobasically lean in and do more.
(11:58):
Only 25% of them rewarded bypromotions, recognition, and
extra money for all of thateffort they put in.
The article is called rethinkwhat you know about
high-achieving women and what ittalks to is the fact that women
don't actually check out fromtheir career out of choice to
care from the family.
It is a massive unconsciousbias, according to this article.
(12:20):
The reason that women check outof their career is because they
can see that they'resignificantly leaning in.
We're all leaning in.
We're doing all this extra work.
We are taking all this extraresponsibility on, and yet we
are only getting recognized andrewarded for that and paid for
that 25% of the time relative toour male colleagues and peers.
That's pretty frustrating.
(12:41):
Like it's no wonder that we'regetting a bit Jack of this
stuff.
Miranda (2) (12:44):
I can see that, if women are taking 80% more work
and they're running at this,they do it working up and down.
Then also, if we think back tothat season one, episode two,
where we're looking at theintrinsic behaviors and what's
holding you back.
Potentially their needs aren'tbeing met.
So yes, the recognition isn'tthere, but also they're not
being able to output theirperfect work then making
(13:05):
mistakes they're tired.
They're compromising their ownwork values in terms of maybe
timeliness or meetingexpectations or being there to
support their staff.
And so they're going, you knowwhat?
I can't keep letting people downthis doesn't feel comfortable.
I'm constantly in a state ofdiscomfort and feeling like I'm
not achieving.
(13:25):
Why am I here And I thinkleaving the financial review had
an article this week, but I wastalking this few staff to do
more work the result of theirsystem, those staff leave.
So the kind of compoundingeffort, very few people left
spending a lot of plates.
And I think we really need tothink about changing how we go
about this.
Personally I think the way wecan change it is to have brave
(13:45):
conversations to really affectchange.
Leadership, certainly readingthe room, talking to your team
and making sure that youropening up to those brave
conversations.
Claire (13:54):
I certainly think that in a 24 hour, seven days a week
world where we always switchedon, very hard to discern between
what's busy work.
What should I be spending mytime on?
What is the one thing that Ineeded to get done?
There's so many pressures.
And I think the braveconversations, and I think later
on in the season, we're talkingabout time and bounds.
(14:14):
It's all very linked in fromthat perspective.
I haven't seen the financialreview stuff this week, so I'll
need to check that=out.
Miranda (14:21):
Yeah, that's very good.
I think Simon Sinek also put outthis week a bit of a view on
this period of time and sees itis an opportunity to correct the
power and balances and somefairly ordinary work practices
that have been leading up to2020.
Asking businesses to really stepup and create an environment
where people feel the passionfeel empowered to work.
(14:44):
Of course it goes back to thework around why, making sure
that employees are empowered asa leader.
Your job is to identify a greatskillset within somebody, give
them all of the passion, the whythey've got the tools, allow
them to go and do that job andempower them.
And his barista example wasquite powerful where it's the
same barista was working in twohotels.
(15:05):
In one, really engaged, had agreat conversation with this
barista and asked him about hisjob And he was so impressed with
his work.
But that very same barista inanother hotel, he said he didn't
even feel like he was safe tohave his voice.
He just came in, did his shiftsand left and the same person,
but in a workplace thatcultivates and looks, the
(15:26):
infinite game and supports youas opposed to one that is just
very managerial.
You've got your manager watchingover your shoulder every minute
and not encouraging.
Be a human being and have thosegreat conversations with people
at the coffee machine orwherever that is.
Miranda (2) (15:40):
I think the way we can change it is to have those
brave conversations
Claire (15:43):
That is a really good story to demonstrate the
employer impact on whethersomeone is thriving or not in,
in a particular role, same job,same role, and then same person
just completely differentworkplaces.
Miranda (15:58):
Yeah.
It's suggest that people whoweren't leaving their job prior
to COVID because the job isokay.
They didn't want to resetsecurity unless it got really
painful.
And we certainly see that withpeople that don't tend to make a
change, unless it's so painfulwhereas I think what the COVID
has allowed us to do is realizethat, the workplace now has to
step up before that Aristaneeded to work in both of those
(16:18):
organizations.
Now it's such a labor shortageis only going to work in the
places that are good and thatare going to cultivate his
empowerment
Claire (16:24):
I think that's a good segue to get from talking about
the reasons why we think talkingabout brave conversations in
terms of more around what abrave conversation is, because I
think that one of the key thingsyou mentioned about Simon Sinek
about workplaces have to come tothe party on this.
And with brave conversations, aconversation is between two
(16:46):
people so both parties have tocome in ready to have that brave
conversation.
There's a great book that I readyears ago called fierce
conversations by Susan Scott,and it gives a lot of great
tools on what a braveconversation is and how to have
one.
One of the key critical thingsis that in order to have a
bright conversation, it must befilled with the Goodwill and
(17:08):
compassion.
It's not brutal honesty.
That is not what we're talkingabout.
When we're talking about veryconversations, brave
conversations involve activelistening.
It's boots on the ground interms of being present.
It's walking alongside eachother in terms of empathy.
It's not about, here are mydemands.
What I want you now to need todo this, that and the other for
(17:28):
me.
That's not a brave conversation.
A brave conversation is alsolistening to the point of view,
whether it's your employer,whether it's your partner, it's
about being curious andopen-hearted about their
perspective as well.
It's a two way conversation.
And there's some really goodtechniques in that book on, on
how to approach them.
And we'll talk more about thatnext week It's this is the
(17:50):
challenge that we're in at themoment and possibly a bit of
tension that we're all havingis.
How do you set up theseconversations because they need
to be really curious.
Both people need to be reallyopen-hearted about that to, to
work it out and get progress.
Miranda (18:05):
I think the other thing is to remember that people want
to hear this.
So I think a lot of people gointo a brave conversation or a
negotiation thinking that it'svery one-sided that they need to
get their opinion across, orthey need to be heard.
In many cases, your managerwants to hear what you've got to
say, your CEO wants to knowwhat's maybe not working cause
(18:25):
very high chances that its notjust you.
A great example is the remoteworkplace.
The female lead published a pollon LinkedIn around remote
working.
Miranda (2) (18:35):
And what they're asking is would you even
consider a job if the workplacewasn't offering fit flexible
remote hybrid working and theresult was 70% would not even
apply for the job.
So if you're having aconversation with your workplace
about I only want to be in theoffice for a couple of days a
week, and from home.
You can bring some of thoseconversations to the front.
(18:56):
And so you're not just talkingabout what you personally need
or that's really important.
You're thinking about what theemployer needs to hear from you,
and also potentially giving thema little bit of context.
most people have said that theywon't apply for a role if it
doesn't even include this.
So I really need to bring thisinto my world because this is
something that is important tome.
Claire (19:16):
It's getting behind.
Why is that your perspective?
What is it that you're trying toachieve from that?
What do you feel like you'remissing?
There's got to be someunderstanding and curiosity
around why they're taking thatposition and how else could
those challenges be solved?
So that it's a win-win situationfor everyone.
How do we capitalize on this Sowe have these bright
(19:39):
conversations?
Miranda (19:39):
Hopefully you've got great leaders.
And I think you'll point, isthat getting curious on both
sides?
So what do you need out of this?
Asking the right questions and,remote work is probably a quite
tropical one at the moment, butthis can absolutely span for a
whole lot of things.
Back to your point about activelistening, there's a really
great piece in here where youbuild your case you've
(20:03):
presented, but you haven't comein with a zero sum game where
it's if I don't get what I wantright now, I'm out, you come in
with this, like this is reallyimportant and I'm really
concerned for you as anorganization, that this is a
topic that went up toaddressing, or we're not dealing
with in a way that I think isgonna work.
There's no threats.
It's like negotiation whereyou're both looking to get to a
(20:25):
point that's comfortable, andthe idea of negotiation outcome
is win-win and it's a lot kinderto be clear and to communicate
what's going on in your worldrather than.
Just expect that people can readyour mind and that, what's going
on.
Claire (20:38):
I wonder to whether having to do everything in a
zoom world, in a virtual world,we can tend to think I don't
want to have these conversationssessions now I'll wait till I
get back into the office.
But.
In terms of that book that Imentioned fierce conversations
by Susan Scott.
I was trying to do a bit of arefresh on that book without
having to reread, read the book.
Episode 100 of the one thingpodcast.
(20:59):
So we talked about the one thingpodcasts before, he has a
conversation with Susan Scott,who is the author of the fierce
conversations, and they have afierce conversation in the
podcast.
Through the first conversation,he gets really upset.
It's a really foreignconversation.
It's very interesting, they'reactually having their
conversation via a virtualmeeting tool.
(21:20):
And so I was like that blowsthat kind of argument out of the
water that you can't have.
So it's about again, it's aboutthe techniques.
It's about the planning.
It's about both parties.
Putting boots on the ground tobe present in the moment to have
a very curious, 360 situationgoing on.
Otherwise you are going to driveyourself crazy, having
conversations with people thatare, that have got barriers up
(21:43):
and don't want to listen.
And so I think that's where,when we talk about our action
challenge for this week respectabout it at the beginning about
getting curious and courageousabout identifying someone with
your wife.
If you may need to have somebrief conversations with that is
really important when you'rethinking about who this person
is, that you're going to havethat conversation with.
It's okay because they, and howyou're going to approach that
(22:03):
and planning.
And we'll talk about the, how inthe next episode, but the who,
it has, you have to, in my mind,you have to feel that it someone
one that it's going to beimpactful in terms of success on
your own terms that we've talkedabout.
That's obviously important, butthe, who has to be very
important because it has to besomeone that's also able.
To step out of their armour, inBrene Brown's terms and also be
(22:24):
curious and wanting to learn.
I think that's an importantaspect of what we're talking
about here.
Miranda (22:30):
And do you find that many people I've certainly found
these people have come to youand they've shared this this
maybe they've worked up to abrief conversation and they're
sharing it.
You like a shotgun, like bam.
I ha hold on just one second.
Let me just understand.
I'm somebody you want to beheard and I can totally hear
what you're putting down here,but is this, where is this
(22:52):
coming from?
So setting up that raincoatconversation in advance to
really make sure that you have.
You're not yeah.
You're not just doing a managerand one-on-one meeting and all
of a sudden you're going, here'sall my challenges actually
going.
I'd like to have a conversationwith you.
This is a concern of mine andthis is something I'd really
like to have a curious two wayconversation about let's
schedule some time for that.
(23:13):
So setting it up, making surethat when you both go into that
meeting, you know where you'recoming from.
That's definitely totallythrough
Claire (23:19):
that.
That's where you have todefinitely.
Yeah exactly.
We're going into the house as wealways do.
We love the house, we're notthere yet.
We're so we'll cover that inthat next episode in a
fortnight's time.
So as we mentioned, a couple oftimes, the action challenge is
just to get curious about allthis as always, there'll be the
content.
If you want to go into deeperinto some of the content we
(23:39):
mentioned, that will be in theepisode.
Also please check out ourwebsite, www.
elevatewithgrace.com.au or hoponto our Instagram account for
more curated content andthoughts about actionable steps
and things that you might wantto put in place for success on
your own terms.
We would love, love, love tohear from you and have brave
conversations with you about howyou're going.
(24:01):
So please drop us an email atelevatewithgrace@gmail.com and
please and subscribe and sharethis podcast with people.
If you think that they wouldalso enjoy it.
did you have any final commentsto say
Miranda (24:17):
best of luck, preparing these brave conversations, make
sure you write it down, makesure you sleep on it and really
have a great couple of
Claire (24:26):
weeks.
Yes.
Have a great couple of weeks.
You too Miranda.
And I can't wait to chat to youall again in a couple of weeks
time.
Thanks so much for listening.
Thank
Miranda (24:35):
you.
Thanks Claire.
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