September 6, 2023 • 58 mins
Know what you have a right to be wrong about. Recalibrate your moral compass for tough times. Learn things you didn't know about people who don't, in the conventional sense, exist. All that and more on Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes, LA's #1 avant-garde personal development program.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
We are LA's number oneavant-garde personal development
program.
I am Emerson Dameron.
I am the producer, host, writer, talent and LA's number one
(00:25):
avant-garde motivational speaker.
You are almost definitely wrongabout everything, and so am I.
As soon as we start believinganything, we become wrong.
Some are more wrong, some areless wrong.
People are wrong in differentdirections.
The philosopher Ken Wilber saysthat no one is smart enough to
(00:49):
be wrong 100% of the time, butit's safe to assume that we are
wrong to degrees about almosteverything we believe.
That's why science is confusingto people who think that
reality is fixed because theirjob is to prove themselves wrong
(01:10):
and find out new things.
The philosophy of this showincludes encouraging you to
think sort of like a scientist,sort of like a detective and
sort of like the trickstercoyote who's rooting for chaos.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And as long as you're going to be wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You may as well be wrong about the right things,
and I've thought about this andI've come up with a few things
that I think it is okay to bewrong about.
So if you are self-consciousabout being wrong, here's some
stuff that you can feel goodabout having bad opinions on.
(01:52):
If it turns out that you arewrong and in most cases these
are not falsifiable, so youdon't have to sweat it anytime
soon and away we go the rightthings to be wrong about.
I would say that in a lot ofscenarios, it makes more sense
to be high on yourself and wrongthan down on yourself and right
(02:16):
, and I say this as someone who,for years and years, has had a
brutal internal monologue.
Years and years has had abrutal internal monologue
Basically a bully with anightstick in my head that talks
all kind of crap all day long.
If I could, I would physicallyget it cut out of my brain, but
(02:37):
it's also in my nervous systemand my DNA.
It's part of me, and much of mylife has been spent finding
ways to make peace with it orfigure out how to deal with it.
The thing that I've had themost fun with has been just
going all the way to theopposite extreme and acting as
(02:58):
if the inner bully is absolutelywrong about everything, and the
more disparaging he gets, themore amazing I get.
I think it pays to be self-awareand realistic about where you
are in the food chain and inyour own life.
(03:19):
You can't will yourself out ofa spiral of debt or addiction or
a toxic relationship oranything like that.
That requires action.
Action is part of this.
One of the things you want todo is get high on your own
(03:49):
supply, which includes someaction powder that makes you
take action.
So you're getting high onyourself and you're getting out
and hitting the city and you'redoing the things that you need
to do to become the person thatyou are when you are high on
yourself, and I think that's alot better than getting down on
yourself, even if you're right,even if you are a loser who
nobody likes.
(04:09):
That is more likely to changeif you can get high on yourself
and rail some action powder andhave fun with that.
I also think that change ispossible.
It's rare.
Change is possible.
It's rare, and a lot of thetimes that it happens, it's not
(04:29):
the people that we would mostlike to see change.
I choose to believe that thatis true because, even if I'm
wrong, I think it's a moreuseful belief than to think that
people are fixed entities andnobody ever really changes, even
though in some cases it canseem that way.
I also think that reciprocityis a real force in the universe.
(04:52):
Some people talk about karma.
Karma is an unbelievablycomplex concept and I would
guess that almost no one whotalks about it has any idea what
they're talking about when theysay, oh, he's going to get his.
Because I was an English majorand I see things in terms of
(05:16):
story and narrative.
I think reciprocity can beapplied there.
I sense some give and take.
I think actions createreactions.
I don't think anyone gets awaywith anything.
I think at best.
If you do stuff that you know iswrong, you are creating a world
(05:37):
that you're not going to wantto live in, which is going to be
its own punishment.
So I think reciprocity if it'swrong.
If there's no such thing, it isstill a fine thing to be its
own punishment.
So I think reciprocity if it'swrong.
If there's no such thing, it isstill a fine thing to be wrong
about.
Also, on my better days, Ichoose to believe that all is
full of love, as I believeFlorence Foster Jenkins, the
(05:59):
great singer, put it, and that Iam a sexy MF, and I also think
that I'm a sexy MF and you aretoo.
In my case, I think thatthere's somebody out there for
everyone, and that person is me.
I believe that everyone wantsme, and the last thing that is a
(06:22):
right thing to be wrong aboutis that you are probably wrong.
Even if that's not true, I thinkit helps to assume that it may
smack a pessimism.
I think pessimism is actuallyhealthy.
It's good to prepare formishaps and to assume that you
need to go over the details onemore time because you probably
(06:46):
forgot something or leftsomething out or botched some
minor detail.
Assume that it needs anotherpass.
You'll be glad that you madethat assumption most of the time
, especially if you've had thefeeling of putting stuff out
there into the world that hasthings that are egregiously
(07:06):
wrong with it.
That went out there with yourname on it because you got too
high on your own supply, withoutassuming that you were probably
wrong.
And I also think that we may aswell assume that we have free
will in lieu of years and yearsof meditative practice where you
(07:28):
learn to make peace with thefact that most of your actions
are the results of nearlyendless change of causality that
you will never have any hope ofreally understanding and that
most of what you consider freechoice is backwards
rationalization.
After the fact, you may as wellbelieve that you have free will
(07:49):
and free choice.
Free will can be a usefulillusion until you get fully
enlightened, which is our goal.
On Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I love you personally.
Enjoy what you will.
Levity saves lives.
On with the show.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Cynicism.
It's something to do besidessmoking.
Last time I checked, thatmissing piece was between two
gross couch cushions in Nevada,where it belongs.
Yes, I have feelings.
Music makes me sentimental,unless it's trying too hard.
There's nothing less funny thana comedian, nothing less hot
(08:49):
than pornography, and I've nevercried to something to believe
in or silent lucidity.
But I always cry to rock youlike a hurricane.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Times are tough and I love it.
I love bad, bad times.
I hope that these times getworse.
They're pretty bad.
They're not quite where I wantthem to be in terms of badness.
Good times are for losers.
Good times create weakness.
Weak people screw up good times.
That's the only thing that goodtimes are good for.
And then times get bad and Icome in and just dominate and
(09:28):
take over and take everythingfrom everybody.
And it's easy because peopleare weak, they weren't prepared,
they're in shock.
All of their stuff is there forthe taking and I take all of it
and you can get some of it too.
You're here, you're on my side,you're on the winning team.
I probably shouldn't have saidthat I'll cut you in.
(09:49):
Okay, people think theyshouldn't have problems.
That's the biggest problem mostpeople have is they don't want
problems.
You will always have problems.
It's about having the rightkind of problems.
By the time the problems thatyou have now are solved or go
away, you'll have a whole newset of problems and, if you're
lucky, they'll be a whole lotharder to solve and so much
(10:13):
worse, because you will build upso much character and strength
and fortitude dealing with theworst possible problems that you
can get your hands on.
That's why I challenge you,after you master your emotions,
which we're going to get into ina minute challenge you to find
hard problems when you go to bedat night.
Go to bed exhausted for dealingwith problems all day long.
(10:37):
Before you go into sleep, prayfor hard problems Approaching
impossible.
Give yourself an impossibleproblem.
Become godlike.
You will transition into yourfinal godlike form, which is
where you belong.
In the meantime, one way to beselective about what problems
you have is to be on yourmission.
(10:58):
Find your fulfillment, yourpurpose, which is not ordained.
You have some power to selectthat, and there is so much work
to be done, so many problems tobe solved, so many weaklings
that need saving.
And if you're here, I know thatsomewhere what you're good at
intersects with what people need.
(11:18):
I think it happens in multipleplaces all over the world.
So find where the need is whatyou love to do, where they
intersect, and go.
There's so much work to do.
Some of it you'll love.
Don't even worry about moneyjust yet.
Take care of your skincareroutine.
If your skincare is on pointand you're using collagen powder
(11:41):
in your smoothies and you havethat glow, people will just give
you stuff and money everythingyou need.
You won't have to worry aboutit.
You can live on zero dollars aday anywhere in the world.
People will look out for you.
If you have beautiful skin, findsomething that you love to
screw up at, because you'regoing to be bad at first.
You're going to have to make alot of mistakes to learn, and
(12:04):
it's going to be something thatyou need to have a passion for,
including being terrible at itand screwing up and analyzing
your mistakes fearlessly,looking directly at what you did
wrong, figuring out how to fixit, completely humiliating
yourself, making an absolutefool and a clown out of yourself
with how badly you screw up.
(12:25):
Do me a favor and get it onvideo and don't even think about
what you're going to.
Don't even think about beingprepared.
You are prepared.
You were born prepared.
You love going in and screwingup and finding where your weak
spots are and getting better andworking out the kinks,
hammering out the dents, workingout the details, hashing it out
(12:46):
, getting better, better, better, incrementally, a little bit at
a time the preparation that youneed when you encounter your
opportunities.
But don't even think about itthat way.
Think about it as giving it allaway to your customers, your
public, your audience.
In my business, which is showbusiness entertainment, there's
a difference between gettinglaughs, which is what hack
(13:09):
comedians try to do, and what Ido, which is giving laughs.
I give it all away to theaudience.
I trust myself to know what I'mdoing.
I know that my instincts aregood.
I know that if I kill someonewhich is one of my instincts I
can talk my way out of itbecause I'm also intelligent and
blessed with the gift of gab,which you should work on.
(13:31):
But first, master your body.
Take care of your physicalhealth.
That is the primary thing youwant to be focused on.
If you are low energy, none ofthis is going to help you.
Nothing else matters.
If you're depressed and youlook emaciated, it's not nice to
say things about you thataren't nice, but it's disgusting
(13:54):
.
People are repulsed by yourdepression and your low energy
and your low mood and yourconstant complaining and always
needing something, never beingable to take care of it yourself
.
Get it together.
Don't be afraid to make asmoothie with green juice in it.
(14:15):
Eat meat, hit a punching bag,go for a run.
I do all of those things.
I hit a punching bag every day.
I do it as my exercise routineand also when I get angry, and
I'm well prepared for anythingthat happens, including the
worst possible times.
I will be able to defend myselfif my goons turn against me,
(14:38):
which I don't think they will.
They need me more than I needthem.
Master your emotions as well.
Part of that comes from yourbody.
That's where your energy comesfrom.
That's the source.
I don't lead with vulnerability.
I think that's not a good idea.
I think people will takeadvantage of you and manipulate
you and you're just allowingthem to do that if you lead with
(15:00):
vulnerability and neediness andweakness.
But I could, if I wanted to,because I am in full control of
my emotions.
I've achieved emotional mastery.
It's like I have a big remotecontrol and I can turn it up,
turn it down, mix it together.
I'm like a DJ, scratching andworking those knobs and levels
(15:24):
and getting just the right mixthat I want, as well as my
myriad hot sexy lovers.
We all enjoy this and I enjoyanything I want because I can
just turn up the enjoyment.
If it's not getting me stokedon its own, I don't have to put
up with that.
I can feel good right now orwhenever I want, and sometimes I
(15:46):
can just shut it off entirely,and that's one of the things
that has taken me many years tolearn.
I can learn it much morequickly in my masterclass.
I can learn from all of themistakes that I made, so you
don't have to make them yourself.
It's reasonably priced.
It'll be in one of the mostbeautiful locations in the world
, an intensive weekend with meor one of my hired goons.
(16:09):
If I'm busy that weekend, thatmight be my jiu-jitsu class.
So don't get your heart set onme showing up.
If you do and you'redisappointed, we will teach you
to shut that down, so you don'thave to worry about those kinds
of feelings.
Life is about recognizingpatterns.
That's the first thing you needto know, and you're already
(16:29):
very good at that.
It's just.
I mean, you see patternseverywhere.
You see them.
Where they're not, you getrejected and you see it as an
infinite ongoing state where, oh, I will always be rejected.
This is a referendum on me as aperson.
No, and just no.
Use your pattern recognitionfaculties for what you need them
(16:53):
for.
While you are sitting therefeeling sorry for yourself, you
don't even notice the phases ofthe moon, the season's changing.
You don't know where North is.
Get it together.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I'm here because I live here.
The fact that you think Ieshudu be at work doesn't mean
anything.
The most limp, impotent word inthe English language is a
should.
We had a client presentationfor Plummer and Doblin.
Amanda Doblin is a Slayer fan.
A Slayer shirt can't look likeyou just bought it.
(17:40):
It has to be authentic.
Hence the blood.
Yes, the blood is real.
Yes, it's real vomit.
What do you think goes on inour client presentations?
Why do you think I was eatingapples all day?
One of my seven goals is tobecome the kind of person who
(18:01):
pays rent on time every month.
I don't call it cocaine, I callit take action powder.
I can't pay rent if I can'ttake action and handle my
anxiety and depression.
You know how hard that can befor me.
You can trust me.
You can trust me to tell youexactly what I'm thinking, to
(18:25):
assess the situation and dowhat's right for me, to face
reality head on and take action.
I bought the Foot Lockersbecause they were on sale.
If I was going to sneak out, Iwouldn't tell you.
If I did, you'd be okay.
You don't need me.
If you work on yourself, youcan be your own best friend.
(18:48):
Life is chaos.
Baby, you love me, thank you,hey.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
thanks for coming out to drink with me on a weeknight
.
I know your social calendar isquite robust.
I'm glad you could get away.
Yeah, I know Everything'sdifferent.
We've come a long way sinceColor Guard, that's for sure.
If they could see us now, Iknew you'd win.
(20:01):
Yeah, I'll drink to that aswell.
Yeah, if you want to leaveafter the first drink, that's
cool.
Yeah is finals week.
Yeah, um, I do need to talk toyou about something.
(20:31):
It is about the band, and Iwanted you to hear this from
somebody you can trust, and I'veknown you for a minute longer
than the rest of these people,all of these, many people on the
scene.
Yeah, I know the band soundsbetter than ever.
I've been in it for four years.
(20:53):
This is the classic line-up.
These are the days.
Here's the thing Matt's going tofire you.
Yeah, I heard him talking aboutit.
(21:13):
He's been talking about it formonths.
He says there's like a 90%chance that you're getting the
boot.
His words yeah, it sucks.
(21:35):
I'm really sorry.
You're a magnificent xylophoneplayer.
Nobody questions that at all.
We've had three differentxylophonists and you're the best
head and shoulders.
It's just that Matt is thinkingabout going in a different
direction with the band,something more minimalist.
Yeah, look, he's a narcissist.
(21:56):
He wants to be front and centerwhen we have this symphonic,
polyphonic spree kind of thinggoing.
He thinks it takes attentionaway from him.
Yeah, ever since the solorecord did well, matt's a
slightly different person.
He was always full of himself.
(22:18):
That's probably why he's theleader.
Yeah, I know he's such a prick.
Right, I did tell you it was abad idea to sleep with him, okay
, no, I'm not trying to make youfeel bad, I'm not trying to
lord it over you, but this is apattern he presents people that
(22:45):
he has sex with.
It's some childhood thing,attachment wound I don't care, I
don't.
I'm not going to spend the restof my life psychoanalyzing that
guy.
I need $500 an hour for that,which he has.
Yeah, we get paid a lot less.
(23:08):
No, your music is so beautiful,it just comes straight from
your heart.
It's a pure expression of theperson I know and love.
Yeah, he's saying it justdoesn't fit with the new sound
that he's trying to do.
(23:29):
Yeah, just vent, go for it.
You can scream, you can screamat me.
You can pretend I'm Matt.
Who are you calling?
Who are you calling?
Yeah, I mean just so you know.
(23:54):
Ben does know about this.
Yeah, he has for a while.
You said he was avoiding sexwith you.
Maybe this had something to dowith it.
Ben's not my favorite person.
I think he's a creep.
He's not quite Matt.
He experiences guilt and I knowfor a fact that he's torn in
(24:23):
half about this.
No, he's fully in the tank.
For Matt, this has happenedbefore.
When the rubber hits the road,he goes with Matt.
The band is his whole life.
This band is not your wholelife.
I don't want to hear you saythat.
Jonathan would just behorrified to hear you say
(24:46):
something like that.
This band is not your life.
Yeah, everything we do changesour lives.
Joining the band changed yourlife in some ways for the better
, and leaving the band, I think,will open a lot of
opportunities.
You just have to give it alittle bit of time to grieve.
(25:07):
Do whatever it takes.
Yeah, like I said, there's achance 10%.
He said 90% chance you're fired, which I would assume 10%.
Maybe he wants you to leavevoluntarily.
I think he would have.
(25:27):
No, he probably wouldn't havementioned that himself.
Here's what I'm guessing.
Oh, yeah, you have to play theshow at Zazigi's this weekend.
That's not negotiable.
No, you won't be able to showyour face in this town if you
(25:47):
don't play that show.
Seriously, don't even thinkabout skipping that and don't
tell him.
I told you I'm doing this as afavor, as a friend.
I want you to get the heads up.
Please don't tell them.
Yes, I want to stay in the band.
I'm a founding member.
What are you talking about?
(26:08):
Okay, here's.
Yeah.
Like I said, some very similarscenarios to this have happened
before.
Here's how it usually goes down.
There's some dread game whereMatt talks about firing somebody
(26:28):
and sets it up so it's gonnaget back to them.
So it's not straight from him,but they do get wind of it.
Like if he thinks maybe theyneed to torque it up a little
bit.
Like, yeah, you're a greatxylophone player in a formal
sense, but maybe I think hewants you to bring a little more
energy.
(26:49):
We're trying to be glam.
This is a glam rock band.
It's not Berklee School ofMusic.
No, I'm not insulting you.
If anything, you're tootalented to be in this band.
You work too hard.
This is a fun band we play.
So if you do the Ziggy's andyou bring the noise and he sees
(27:15):
you having fun, don't be the MVP, but be a key player.
Like don't, yeah, do not everoutshine Matt, believe me and
this is a big show becausethere's going to be industry
there.
It's serious.
We've been burned before, butthis time is slightly different.
(27:38):
I don't want to jinx it, so I'mnot going to say no, I have not
heard Rick Rubin's name floatedthis time.
Yeah, that would have been cool.
It was worth the trip to NewYork just for that dream, okay.
So, yeah, show up at Zazigi's.
(27:59):
Give it everything you got.
Have fun seriously.
Give it everything you got.
Have fun seriously.
You need to have fun with this.
It needs yeah, I know thatyou're having fun.
I know what it looks like whenyou're having fun.
You need to look like you'rehaving fun to people who don't
(28:19):
know you like I do.
I know it's going to be hard.
I know this is tough.
Yeah, here's the thing.
There's also a chance, ifhistory is any guide, that Matt
is going to fire you on stage asa ZZ.
Yeah, he's done that before.
(28:44):
He did that while you were inthe band.
That's what happened toJonathan and yeah, in that case,
you should probably cry Likeyeah, don't let him know.
You saw it coming.
Like don't burn me, I'm tryingto help you, don't blow up my
(29:07):
spot.
It's got to look like asurprise and it's part of the
show Like this is one of thethings he's famous for doing and
he wants the industry people tosee that.
Yeah, I'd have to say this isprobably it.
(29:28):
If I were you, I would show upand bring it and have a blast,
just so you can.
That's a great way to go outand that will be remembered and
recognized.
No, matt and Ben don't care,but people with hearts and
(29:49):
feelings around town willrecognize and respect that.
And oh, here's another thingManny and Richard are starting a
new band.
Yeah, they both got kicked out.
Richard got kicked out beforeyour time.
I think you and Manny werebandmates for like two weeks and
(30:12):
he got kicked out also on stageat a show.
No, the band is shockingly good.
I was just as surprised as youare.
Yeah, they asked me if I wantedto manage.
I can't really do that.
That would cause real problemswith Matt.
(30:34):
I could be like a silentpartner in management.
You know Megadeth started thatway.
Dave Mustaine was drummed outof Metallica and started a band
that was very successful in itsown right, not like Metallica.
(30:56):
But yeah, listen, this is tough.
I know things have changed alot since you joined the band.
Yeah, cynthia and Roger andthem.
They're going to stick withMatt.
(31:17):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Look, I know you.
I know who you are.
I know you.
I know who you are.
I know your characters.
I know your values.
I know what you believe in.
Look, you're better off doingyour own thing.
Seriously, this was going toend in tears and you had a good
(31:38):
ride.
You accomplished a lot.
Yeah, you're going to be on.
I think you're going to be on.
I think you're going to be onthe next record.
Yeah, make sure you get paidfor that.
That's not something that youcan assume is going to happen.
Yeah, I have to stick around.
(32:03):
I'm a founding member.
I'm indispensable.
Yeah, these things are tough.
Change is hard, but it'sinevitable and it's the only way
we go into new things thatcould be better, into new things
(32:28):
that could be better.
Yeah, I defended you, of course.
Yeah, I told Matt.
I thought he was making a bigmistake.
I'm not afraid of him.
I can say what I want, but hecan do what he wants.
There's not much I can do aboutthat.
It's his band.
I mean, it's kind of my band,it's partly my band, but he's
(32:50):
the majority shareholder andit's his vision, and what he
says goes.
Yeah, I know these people inthis town are such garbage.
Yeah, these people, for all oftheir flaws, the people in this
(33:14):
world that we're in, they'rereally the best you could do in
this town.
Yeah, you can't come to.
I don't think it's a good ideafor you to come to the parties
anymore if you leave the band onbad terms, just kind of how
it's being set up.
(33:34):
Yeah, it's kayfabe, it'swrestling, it's so stupid.
Matt is such a child.
But, yeah, you won't be invitedto that anymore.
You can do your own thing.
Yeah, fun is not the first wordI think of when I think of you,
(33:56):
but I'm fun.
Yeah, I could have parties andwould not invite Matt.
I'd party with Manny all thetime.
Oh no, his coke is not.
You don't even get anywherenear that stuff.
Yeah, I know you could alwayssleep with me.
(34:26):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, that's a joke.
Yeah, you told me it was nevergoing to happen.
I respect that.
I'm just saying, if it comesdown to that, yeah, of course
that hurts my feelings, I'mgoing to let it go.
You're having a hard time orit's a rough night?
(34:51):
Yeah, I'm getting drunk.
Hang out, let's make it a night, let's celebrate or whatever
the opposite of celebrating is.
All I'm saying is you could doa lot worse.
(35:14):
You have Recently.
No, I'm not trying to twist theknife, I'm sorry.
I'm trying to lighten the mood,okay, yeah, I know.
Yeah, it's Nothing really helpsexcept time.
Don't write off this new band,though.
That xylophone is just whatthey need and you're damn good
(35:39):
at xylophone.
Siofm Suzanne is a sleeper.
(36:09):
She's not who you think she isat first.
Yeah, she doesn't advertise.
She's not out there trying tobe funny or interesting, but the
more you get to know her, shehas had a fascinating life,
multiple lives, really.
Did you know?
She's been married three times.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't think.
(36:32):
Yeah, the first one was in herhometown where she spent the
first 22 years of her life.
It's old school, verytraditional.
Yeah, pretty much everybodygets married in their early 20s.
A lot of it's uh, kind ofarranged from with their
(36:56):
children.
But, like, everyone's cool withit because Because, yeah, it's
a good quality of life, it'sself-contained, it's not really
affected too much by the outsideworld, because they're like a
family Everybody knows everybodyand pretty much everybody loves
everybody.
You have to screw up hard tonot be loved there.
(37:19):
It is also very backward insome ways, like Suzanne, of
course was adored.
Yeah, that kind of hometownsweetness, that's not an
affectation.
I think that might be who sheis on a deep level.
(37:42):
And yeah, she was absolutelyloved Beautiful, kind,
thoughtful, approachable,intelligent, funny in an
interesting way.
Yeah, she loved everybody.
(38:02):
Everybody loved her.
There were a couple of guys thatvery much wanted to marry her
Ryan and Steve.
Yeah, ryan was kind of theathlete, slash, intellectual.
Yeah, he read Nietzsche andthere's classic literature too.
(38:26):
Yeah, I don't know how he hadthe time.
I guess they did haveaudiobooks.
Yeah, it wasn't that long ago.
But yeah, super smart, superathletic, a little avoidant.
We all have our flaws.
They make us more lovable.
And Steve was not.
(38:48):
No, he was different.
He was definitely in his ownworld.
Yeah, he had a group of friendsthat were like the people that
didn't really have anywhere elseto sit in the cafeteria.
So they sat together and theystarted a friend group, kind of
(39:12):
as a defense mechanism, bydefault, although they didn't
really like each other.
No, he was cool.
It's not like what I'm making itsound like.
Even the untouchables in thistown, where they were part of
the family, and Suzanne Itotally believe this says that
(39:34):
she would have been equallyhappy with either.
She loved them both likebrothers that she could see
herself having sex with, so likehot stepbrothers I guess, yeah,
ryan seemed like a more aptchoice.
No, she loves Steve.
(39:54):
She sees the good in everybody.
Sometimes, the deeper it'shidden, the more it means to her
.
And yeah, I mentioned that itwas backward.
I didn't mention that.
If there's a situation like this, where two suitors are
basically evenly matched and thewould-be bride doesn't make a
(40:21):
choice, they fight to the death.
I know it's weird, I don't know.
I guess the feds don't knowabout this or you know, the
G-men don't show up untilthey've got you dead to rights.
They'll circle for yearsgetting enough information to
(40:43):
get a warrant.
Yes, and I don't know if honorcultures are what they're
investigating a lot right now.
Oh, it's totally illegal.
Actually, the laws of this townspecifically allow it.
Actually, the laws of this townspecifically allow it.
But that's in contradiction toevery state and federal law or
(41:07):
guideline.
But, yeah, they do it.
It's a fistfight, so you haveto kill the other person in
bare-knuckles combat and that'sexactly the kind of thing that
Ryan had been preparing himselffor.
And, yeah, steve got knockedout and, yeah, he did die in the
(41:27):
hospital three days later andRyan was declared the victor and
Suzanne and Ryan started toplan their wedding.
But then it got out.
They were into some weird sexstuff while suzanne was yeah,
like I said, she's way moreinteresting than she gets credit
for.
(41:47):
But she doesn't.
This is, she doesn't talk aboutherself like this.
Yeah, it was, um, it was notlike any.
You know, it was consentingadults.
It's not anything I would thinktwice about living in LA.
But in this community you hadto be discreet about it and
(42:09):
Ryan's whole thing was beingwatched.
So eventually, yeah, they gotcaught and they had to flee
Because that's, yeah, the honorculture kind of pervades and
(42:30):
saturates the whole society ofthat place.
So they had to get out thatnight with just whatever they
could pack and they skipped townand they landed in a place they
could pack and they skippedtown and they landed in a place
that she calls it Lawyerville.
I don't think that's the realname, but it would be
(42:52):
appropriate because there's thisaggressive elite class that
kind of runs everything.
And they did not like Ryan.
They hated him.
On sight, I think they couldsee that they'd met their match.
But he hadn't done anything yetso they couldn't kick them out.
(43:12):
They just kind of isolated them.
The neighbors wouldn't talk tothem, wouldn't talk to them.
Yeah, they were kind of alonein this not-so-nice house in a
not-so-nice part of town, whichwas good because they didn't
have to deal with the warriorclass on the other side of town
(43:33):
by the water.
But yeah, eventually they werejust like what are we gonna do
to eke out a living here?
They thought about going backon the road, but there's already
.
They were just like what are wegoing to do to eke out a living
here?
They thought about going backon the road, but they knew that
the people from Suzanne'shometown were after them and
they needed to lay low.
So Ryan was like I'm going tolay super low, I'm going to
(43:57):
become the king of the criminalunderworld in this town.
And it was not hard for him todo that.
He happened to stumble into apower vacuum.
It was an unusually poorlyorganized criminal underworld
which is really saying something, and it was pretty easy for him
(44:22):
to get that going.
Meanwhile Suzanne was at home, alot changing channels on the TV
.
There were only three channels.
That got old really fast.
For a while, yeah, she was daydrinking but she said she was
drinking wine at noon.
For a while.
Yeah, she was day drinking butshe said she was drinking wine
(44:44):
at noon for a week but then cutthat out because she didn't want
to go down that road after hermom's situation.
But yeah, now she had nothing todo with the boredom and yeah,
she hooked up with this warriorclass dude named Lucius.
She had nothing to do with theboredom and yeah, she, um, she
(45:05):
hooked up with this warriorclass dude named Lucius.
I just jacked up, roided outbig guy yeah, ryan knew about it
and he, um, he had some of hisown things going on in the
underworld.
If you're, um, if you're on inthe underworld, if you're king
of the underworld, you havepretty much irresistible
(45:27):
opportunities for sex.
So they had a deal.
Oh, yeah, suzanne isopen-minded, doesn't begin to
describe it.
Yeah, she's wild, she's seensome stuff.
But anyway, she got involvedwith this guy named Lucius and
the sex was good.
He was a little selfish, whichwas kind of hot at first, but
(45:51):
then she did get tired of thatafter a while Of just feeling
ignored, of just feeling ignored.
And, yeah, and Lucius caughtfeelings.
Yeah, you never know whenthat's going to happen.
Lucius left his wife with theintention of being with Suzanne
(46:17):
and they didn't talk about itbeforehand.
Suzanne would not in a millionyears want to be with Lucius.
And yeah, they found outquickly that it wasn't a public
thing.
But if you tangled withsomebody from the warrior class
(46:40):
it was going to result in a duel.
And, yeah, lucius won thateasily.
It was a laugher, it was a rout.
Yeah, they didn't even letpeople look at Ryan's body.
That's how bad it was.
(47:01):
And Suzanne was heartbroken andshe hated Lucius at this point.
It was always kind of hate sexfrom the beginning, which can be
a wonderful kind of sex, butshe didn't want to marry him and
she didn't know what the hellto do now that she was stuck in
this life.
(47:22):
She didn't want, like she gotto hang out on the shore with
the warrior class in the castlesand go to nice restaurants
every weekend and she justloathed every second of it like
this is not for me.
This is not who I am.
I don't love this guy.
(47:42):
I don't know how I feel aboutmyself anymore.
Yeah, she says to this day thatthis is the worst time of her
life and she's just aching forRyan, like his absence is just
such a void.
Yeah, she really got to knowhim, which was, by all accounts,
(48:03):
not easily done.
They really clicked, yeah.
So what happened was she kind ofvaguely knew some of Ryan's old
underworld connections and oneof them was this guy named Spike
(48:24):
and it's pretty much what youwould picture.
Just, you know, tattoos,motorcycle, yeah, like central
casting all the way, big muttonchop sideburns, central casting,
all the way, big muttonchopsideburns Kind of a nemesis of
the warrior class, because hewas the one underworld guy that
(48:47):
they just wouldn't you know,anybody that messed around with
him was probably in trouble.
So they just tried to stay outof his way and he and Suzanne
kind of started a thing, suzannekind of started a thing, and
they both tangled with Lucius inthe past and they ended up
(49:17):
setting him up Like Suzanne toldLucius that she was going to
put one over on Spike and askedhim if he wanted to get involved
.
And of course at first he waslike no, because he had too much
to lose being in the warriorclass.
But then he started thinkingand feeling how much he hated
(49:37):
Lucius and was like maybe thisisn't such a bad idea.
He hated Lucius and was likemaybe this isn't such a bad idea
.
And so they got a schemetogether where Lucius was going
to get the drop on Spike.
That was the idea.
And of course Spike knewexactly what was coming.
(49:58):
And Lucius was not good at this.
No, he was not slick, becausehe had been part of this warrior
group his whole life.
He never had to do anything forhimself.
Really, yeah, they.
No, he survived.
He got beaten pretty badly.
I would not wish that beating.
(50:19):
I would wish it on maybe mythree worst enemies, not the
fourth.
It was bad, but you know,suzanne wasn't really mad about
it because she'd had enough ofLucius at that point.
And they decamped for anotherplace which seemed to have a
(50:45):
warrior class of its own.
But that was an illusion,because this was a city run by
tricksters.
And Spike immediately fell inwith the Potemkin warrior class
Because that's kind of alwayswhat he wanted.
The whole rebel outlaw schtickwas always out of spite.
(51:11):
Yeah, he always wanted to be awarrior.
And now he had his chance.
And what he discovered was thatevery now and then the warrior
class would be sent off on somekind of mission.
And yeah, they would just getlost.
Now they wouldn't like itwasn't like alive, they wouldn't
(51:34):
put them out somewhere.
No, they just.
There were so many side questsand like it was such a weird
puzzle.
It was like an alternativereality game disguised as a
military mission.
No, I mean, they never cameback.
That was the whole point.
And yeah, there were twowarriors who, yeah, because she
(51:57):
was single and she didn't knowthe tricksters, because the
tricksters would lose a lot oftheir leverage if people knew
what was up.
So they kind of kept tothemselves.
But they saw everything.
They knew everything that wasgoing on.
Nothing got past them and theyloved Suzanne, because how could
you not?
(52:17):
Because how could you not?
And so they saw, when two ofthe quote-unquote warriors
decided to stage a duel forSuzanne's hand in marriage, one
of the tricksters came down inthe form of a coyote.
(52:40):
Like they do Not very subtle.
The tricksters were kind ofcocky.
Yeah, they wasn't Coming downas a bedbug would have been more
subtle and creative, but it wasa quick, fly-by-night thing.
(53:01):
They came down.
One of them came down and toldSuzanne, like look, just let the
duel happen, encourage it or,you know, act like you're.
I say like why are you fightingover me?
Why can't you be friends?
And that's just going toencourage them more because
they're going to see you're awonderful person and that's
(53:21):
going to make them hate eachother even more, because that's
what they do.
The duel came to pass and, as itwas happening, ryan showed up.
Yeah, he had survived barelysurvived his injuries, and he
went into the woods and he livedoff of berries and wood chips
(53:48):
and dirt and creek water formonths, like the whole time
through the whole Lucius episode, and Suzanne decamped
post-haste with Ryan.
They got out of there and, yeah, it didn't work out in the end.
(54:12):
It's they just their livesbifurcated.
They realized that they willalways love each other and
that's not always enough.
Just because you love somebody,it doesn't mean you can live
with them and it definitelydoesn't mean you can live with
them for the rest of your life,especially if you're the kind of
people that realize that changeis to be embraced.
(54:36):
Yeah, like that's onehyper-intellectual, kinda
high-strung weirdo, and Suzannewho's?
Speaker 2 (54:47):
in her own category.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Yeah, so they had an amicable they didn't even need
to go to court or anythingbecause she's still technically
married to Lucius.
Yeah, I don't know whathappened there.
Yeah, he's still alive.
Nobody knows where he is.
He's lost on some interminableside quest, one can assume.
Oh yeah, if you ever get achance to just hang out with
(55:11):
Suzanne.
No, you can't.
If you ask her.
She doesn't take requests.
Just talk about things thatyou're interested in and she
will have a story that's relatedand it's going to be buck wild.
Yeah, suzanne is a sleeper,she's seen some stuff and a
(55:35):
wonderful person.
You could not ask for a biggersweetheart, warm and fuzzy,
center of the universe.
That's what I didn't come upwith, that Somebody else did,
but that's like the best review.
Yeah, suzanne is the bomb.
(55:55):
I'd marry her too.
(56:16):
Dot com on K-Chung, los Angeles,1630 AM.
K-chung Radio.
Dot O-R-G.
I am Emerson Dameron, theproducer and host of the show.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives.
Take a beat, breathe into theexperience of being here and ask
(57:07):
yourself what am I so afraid of?
Maybe you're afraid of missingsome essential life experience.
You're afraid you already have,or that it doesn't matter
because nothing does.
Maybe it's nothing, maybeyou're just a regular nerves
McGee, or maybe you're afraid ofyour own glorious cataclysmic
(57:28):
power, the riotous multitudesyou contain.
You are smart enough to knowhow nearly infinitely ignorant
you are, but you're not toosmart to be hot and you may
already be a satanic Buddhist.
Nothing is good or bad inisolation, only in context.
The Buddha and the Beastmasterare a good team.
(57:49):
This, right here, is all youget.
Life is for living up downacross, diagonally, sideways,
because nothing matters.
You may already be a satanicBuddhist.
K-Chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
We are LA's number oneavant-garde personal development
program.
I am Emerson Dameron.
I am the producer, host, writer, talent and LA's number one
(00:25):
avant-garde motivational speaker.
You are almost definitely wrongabout everything, and so am I.
As soon as we start believinganything, we become wrong.
Some are more wrong, some areless wrong.
People are wrong in differentdirections.
The philosopher Ken Wilber saysthat no one is smart enough to
(00:49):
be wrong 100% of the time, butit's safe to assume that we are
wrong to degrees about almosteverything we believe.
That's why science is confusingto people who think that
reality is fixed because theirjob is to prove themselves wrong
(01:10):
and find out new things.
The philosophy of this showincludes encouraging you to
think sort of like a scientist,sort of like a detective and
sort of like the trickstercoyote who's rooting for chaos.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And as long as you're going to be wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
You may as well be wrong about the right things,
and I've thought about this andI've come up with a few things
that I think it is okay to bewrong about.
So if you are self-consciousabout being wrong, here's some
stuff that you can feel goodabout having bad opinions on.
(01:52):
If it turns out that you arewrong and in most cases these
are not falsifiable, so youdon't have to sweat it anytime
soon and away we go the rightthings to be wrong about.
I would say that in a lot ofscenarios, it makes more sense
to be high on yourself and wrongthan down on yourself and right
(02:16):
, and I say this as someone who,for years and years, has had a
brutal internal monologue.
Years and years has had abrutal internal monologue
Basically a bully with anightstick in my head that talks
all kind of crap all day long.
If I could, I would physicallyget it cut out of my brain, but
(02:37):
it's also in my nervous systemand my DNA.
It's part of me, and much of mylife has been spent finding
ways to make peace with it orfigure out how to deal with it.
The thing that I've had themost fun with has been just
going all the way to theopposite extreme and acting as
(02:58):
if the inner bully is absolutelywrong about everything, and the
more disparaging he gets, themore amazing I get.
I think it pays to be self-awareand realistic about where you
are in the food chain and inyour own life.
(03:19):
You can't will yourself out ofa spiral of debt or addiction or
a toxic relationship oranything like that.
That requires action.
Action is part of this.
One of the things you want todo is get high on your own
(03:49):
supply, which includes someaction powder that makes you
take action.
So you're getting high onyourself and you're getting out
and hitting the city and you'redoing the things that you need
to do to become the person thatyou are when you are high on
yourself, and I think that's alot better than getting down on
yourself, even if you're right,even if you are a loser who
nobody likes.
(04:09):
That is more likely to changeif you can get high on yourself
and rail some action powder andhave fun with that.
I also think that change ispossible.
It's rare.
Change is possible.
It's rare, and a lot of thetimes that it happens, it's not
(04:29):
the people that we would mostlike to see change.
I choose to believe that thatis true because, even if I'm
wrong, I think it's a moreuseful belief than to think that
people are fixed entities andnobody ever really changes, even
though in some cases it canseem that way.
I also think that reciprocityis a real force in the universe.
(04:52):
Some people talk about karma.
Karma is an unbelievablycomplex concept and I would
guess that almost no one whotalks about it has any idea what
they're talking about when theysay, oh, he's going to get his.
Because I was an English majorand I see things in terms of
(05:16):
story and narrative.
I think reciprocity can beapplied there.
I sense some give and take.
I think actions createreactions.
I don't think anyone gets awaywith anything.
I think at best.
If you do stuff that you know iswrong, you are creating a world
(05:37):
that you're not going to wantto live in, which is going to be
its own punishment.
So I think reciprocity if it'swrong.
If there's no such thing, it isstill a fine thing to be its
own punishment.
So I think reciprocity if it'swrong.
If there's no such thing, it isstill a fine thing to be wrong
about.
Also, on my better days, Ichoose to believe that all is
full of love, as I believeFlorence Foster Jenkins, the
(05:59):
great singer, put it, and that Iam a sexy MF, and I also think
that I'm a sexy MF and you aretoo.
In my case, I think thatthere's somebody out there for
everyone, and that person is me.
I believe that everyone wantsme, and the last thing that is a
(06:22):
right thing to be wrong aboutis that you are probably wrong.
Even if that's not true, I thinkit helps to assume that it may
smack a pessimism.
I think pessimism is actuallyhealthy.
It's good to prepare formishaps and to assume that you
need to go over the details onemore time because you probably
(06:46):
forgot something or leftsomething out or botched some
minor detail.
Assume that it needs anotherpass.
You'll be glad that you madethat assumption most of the time
, especially if you've had thefeeling of putting stuff out
there into the world that hasthings that are egregiously
(07:06):
wrong with it.
That went out there with yourname on it because you got too
high on your own supply, withoutassuming that you were probably
wrong.
And I also think that we may aswell assume that we have free
will in lieu of years and yearsof meditative practice where you
(07:28):
learn to make peace with thefact that most of your actions
are the results of nearlyendless change of causality that
you will never have any hope ofreally understanding and that
most of what you consider freechoice is backwards
rationalization.
After the fact, you may as wellbelieve that you have free will
(07:49):
and free choice.
Free will can be a usefulillusion until you get fully
enlightened, which is our goal.
On Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I love you personally.
Enjoy what you will.
Levity saves lives.
On with the show.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Cynicism.
It's something to do besidessmoking.
Last time I checked, thatmissing piece was between two
gross couch cushions in Nevada,where it belongs.
Yes, I have feelings.
Music makes me sentimental,unless it's trying too hard.
There's nothing less funny thana comedian, nothing less hot
(08:49):
than pornography, and I've nevercried to something to believe
in or silent lucidity.
But I always cry to rock youlike a hurricane.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Times are tough and I love it.
I love bad, bad times.
I hope that these times getworse.
They're pretty bad.
They're not quite where I wantthem to be in terms of badness.
Good times are for losers.
Good times create weakness.
Weak people screw up good times.
That's the only thing that goodtimes are good for.
And then times get bad and Icome in and just dominate and
(09:28):
take over and take everythingfrom everybody.
And it's easy because peopleare weak, they weren't prepared,
they're in shock.
All of their stuff is there forthe taking and I take all of it
and you can get some of it too.
You're here, you're on my side,you're on the winning team.
I probably shouldn't have saidthat I'll cut you in.
(09:49):
Okay, people think theyshouldn't have problems.
That's the biggest problem mostpeople have is they don't want
problems.
You will always have problems.
It's about having the rightkind of problems.
By the time the problems thatyou have now are solved or go
away, you'll have a whole newset of problems and, if you're
lucky, they'll be a whole lotharder to solve and so much
(10:13):
worse, because you will build upso much character and strength
and fortitude dealing with theworst possible problems that you
can get your hands on.
That's why I challenge you,after you master your emotions,
which we're going to get into ina minute challenge you to find
hard problems when you go to bedat night.
Go to bed exhausted for dealingwith problems all day long.
(10:37):
Before you go into sleep, prayfor hard problems Approaching
impossible.
Give yourself an impossibleproblem.
Become godlike.
You will transition into yourfinal godlike form, which is
where you belong.
In the meantime, one way to beselective about what problems
you have is to be on yourmission.
(10:58):
Find your fulfillment, yourpurpose, which is not ordained.
You have some power to selectthat, and there is so much work
to be done, so many problems tobe solved, so many weaklings
that need saving.
And if you're here, I know thatsomewhere what you're good at
intersects with what people need.
(11:18):
I think it happens in multipleplaces all over the world.
So find where the need is whatyou love to do, where they
intersect, and go.
There's so much work to do.
Some of it you'll love.
Don't even worry about moneyjust yet.
Take care of your skincareroutine.
If your skincare is on pointand you're using collagen powder
(11:41):
in your smoothies and you havethat glow, people will just give
you stuff and money everythingyou need.
You won't have to worry aboutit.
You can live on zero dollars aday anywhere in the world.
People will look out for you.
If you have beautiful skin, findsomething that you love to
screw up at, because you'regoing to be bad at first.
You're going to have to make alot of mistakes to learn, and
(12:04):
it's going to be something thatyou need to have a passion for,
including being terrible at itand screwing up and analyzing
your mistakes fearlessly,looking directly at what you did
wrong, figuring out how to fixit, completely humiliating
yourself, making an absolutefool and a clown out of yourself
with how badly you screw up.
(12:25):
Do me a favor and get it onvideo and don't even think about
what you're going to.
Don't even think about beingprepared.
You are prepared.
You were born prepared.
You love going in and screwingup and finding where your weak
spots are and getting better andworking out the kinks,
hammering out the dents, workingout the details, hashing it out
(12:46):
, getting better, better, better, incrementally, a little bit at
a time the preparation that youneed when you encounter your
opportunities.
But don't even think about itthat way.
Think about it as giving it allaway to your customers, your
public, your audience.
In my business, which is showbusiness entertainment, there's
a difference between gettinglaughs, which is what hack
(13:09):
comedians try to do, and what Ido, which is giving laughs.
I give it all away to theaudience.
I trust myself to know what I'mdoing.
I know that my instincts aregood.
I know that if I kill someonewhich is one of my instincts I
can talk my way out of itbecause I'm also intelligent and
blessed with the gift of gab,which you should work on.
(13:31):
But first, master your body.
Take care of your physicalhealth.
That is the primary thing youwant to be focused on.
If you are low energy, none ofthis is going to help you.
Nothing else matters.
If you're depressed and youlook emaciated, it's not nice to
say things about you thataren't nice, but it's disgusting
(13:54):
.
People are repulsed by yourdepression and your low energy
and your low mood and yourconstant complaining and always
needing something, never beingable to take care of it yourself
.
Get it together.
Don't be afraid to make asmoothie with green juice in it.
(14:15):
Eat meat, hit a punching bag,go for a run.
I do all of those things.
I hit a punching bag every day.
I do it as my exercise routineand also when I get angry, and
I'm well prepared for anythingthat happens, including the
worst possible times.
I will be able to defend myselfif my goons turn against me,
(14:38):
which I don't think they will.
They need me more than I needthem.
Master your emotions as well.
Part of that comes from yourbody.
That's where your energy comesfrom.
That's the source.
I don't lead with vulnerability.
I think that's not a good idea.
I think people will takeadvantage of you and manipulate
you and you're just allowingthem to do that if you lead with
(15:00):
vulnerability and neediness andweakness.
But I could, if I wanted to,because I am in full control of
my emotions.
I've achieved emotional mastery.
It's like I have a big remotecontrol and I can turn it up,
turn it down, mix it together.
I'm like a DJ, scratching andworking those knobs and levels
(15:24):
and getting just the right mixthat I want, as well as my
myriad hot sexy lovers.
We all enjoy this and I enjoyanything I want because I can
just turn up the enjoyment.
If it's not getting me stokedon its own, I don't have to put
up with that.
I can feel good right now orwhenever I want, and sometimes I
(15:46):
can just shut it off entirely,and that's one of the things
that has taken me many years tolearn.
I can learn it much morequickly in my masterclass.
I can learn from all of themistakes that I made, so you
don't have to make them yourself.
It's reasonably priced.
It'll be in one of the mostbeautiful locations in the world
, an intensive weekend with meor one of my hired goons.
(16:09):
If I'm busy that weekend, thatmight be my jiu-jitsu class.
So don't get your heart set onme showing up.
If you do and you'redisappointed, we will teach you
to shut that down, so you don'thave to worry about those kinds
of feelings.
Life is about recognizingpatterns.
That's the first thing you needto know, and you're already
(16:29):
very good at that.
It's just.
I mean, you see patternseverywhere.
You see them.
Where they're not, you getrejected and you see it as an
infinite ongoing state where, oh, I will always be rejected.
This is a referendum on me as aperson.
No, and just no.
Use your pattern recognitionfaculties for what you need them
(16:53):
for.
While you are sitting therefeeling sorry for yourself, you
don't even notice the phases ofthe moon, the season's changing.
You don't know where North is.
Get it together.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I'm here because I live here.
The fact that you think Ieshudu be at work doesn't mean
anything.
The most limp, impotent word inthe English language is a
should.
We had a client presentationfor Plummer and Doblin.
Amanda Doblin is a Slayer fan.
A Slayer shirt can't look likeyou just bought it.
(17:40):
It has to be authentic.
Hence the blood.
Yes, the blood is real.
Yes, it's real vomit.
What do you think goes on inour client presentations?
Why do you think I was eatingapples all day?
One of my seven goals is tobecome the kind of person who
(18:01):
pays rent on time every month.
I don't call it cocaine, I callit take action powder.
I can't pay rent if I can'ttake action and handle my
anxiety and depression.
You know how hard that can befor me.
You can trust me.
You can trust me to tell youexactly what I'm thinking, to
(18:25):
assess the situation and dowhat's right for me, to face
reality head on and take action.
I bought the Foot Lockersbecause they were on sale.
If I was going to sneak out, Iwouldn't tell you.
If I did, you'd be okay.
You don't need me.
If you work on yourself, youcan be your own best friend.
(18:48):
Life is chaos.
Baby, you love me, thank you,hey.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
thanks for coming out to drink with me on a weeknight
.
I know your social calendar isquite robust.
I'm glad you could get away.
Yeah, I know Everything'sdifferent.
We've come a long way sinceColor Guard, that's for sure.
If they could see us now, Iknew you'd win.
(20:01):
Yeah, I'll drink to that aswell.
Yeah, if you want to leaveafter the first drink, that's
cool.
Yeah is finals week.
Yeah, um, I do need to talk toyou about something.
(20:31):
It is about the band, and Iwanted you to hear this from
somebody you can trust, and I'veknown you for a minute longer
than the rest of these people,all of these, many people on the
scene.
Yeah, I know the band soundsbetter than ever.
I've been in it for four years.
(20:53):
This is the classic line-up.
These are the days.
Here's the thing Matt's going tofire you.
Yeah, I heard him talking aboutit.
(21:13):
He's been talking about it formonths.
He says there's like a 90%chance that you're getting the
boot.
His words yeah, it sucks.
(21:35):
I'm really sorry.
You're a magnificent xylophoneplayer.
Nobody questions that at all.
We've had three differentxylophonists and you're the best
head and shoulders.
It's just that Matt is thinkingabout going in a different
direction with the band,something more minimalist.
Yeah, look, he's a narcissist.
(21:56):
He wants to be front and centerwhen we have this symphonic,
polyphonic spree kind of thinggoing.
He thinks it takes attentionaway from him.
Yeah, ever since the solorecord did well, matt's a
slightly different person.
He was always full of himself.
(22:18):
That's probably why he's theleader.
Yeah, I know he's such a prick.
Right, I did tell you it was abad idea to sleep with him, okay
, no, I'm not trying to make youfeel bad, I'm not trying to
lord it over you, but this is apattern he presents people that
(22:45):
he has sex with.
It's some childhood thing,attachment wound I don't care, I
don't.
I'm not going to spend the restof my life psychoanalyzing that
guy.
I need $500 an hour for that,which he has.
Yeah, we get paid a lot less.
(23:08):
No, your music is so beautiful,it just comes straight from
your heart.
It's a pure expression of theperson I know and love.
Yeah, he's saying it justdoesn't fit with the new sound
that he's trying to do.
(23:29):
Yeah, just vent, go for it.
You can scream, you can screamat me.
You can pretend I'm Matt.
Who are you calling?
Who are you calling?
Yeah, I mean just so you know.
(23:54):
Ben does know about this.
Yeah, he has for a while.
You said he was avoiding sexwith you.
Maybe this had something to dowith it.
Ben's not my favorite person.
I think he's a creep.
He's not quite Matt.
He experiences guilt and I knowfor a fact that he's torn in
(24:23):
half about this.
No, he's fully in the tank.
For Matt, this has happenedbefore.
When the rubber hits the road,he goes with Matt.
The band is his whole life.
This band is not your wholelife.
I don't want to hear you saythat.
Jonathan would just behorrified to hear you say
(24:46):
something like that.
This band is not your life.
Yeah, everything we do changesour lives.
Joining the band changed yourlife in some ways for the better
, and leaving the band, I think,will open a lot of
opportunities.
You just have to give it alittle bit of time to grieve.
(25:07):
Do whatever it takes.
Yeah, like I said, there's achance 10%.
He said 90% chance you're fired, which I would assume 10%.
Maybe he wants you to leavevoluntarily.
I think he would have.
(25:27):
No, he probably wouldn't havementioned that himself.
Here's what I'm guessing.
Oh, yeah, you have to play theshow at Zazigi's this weekend.
That's not negotiable.
No, you won't be able to showyour face in this town if you
(25:47):
don't play that show.
Seriously, don't even thinkabout skipping that and don't
tell him.
I told you I'm doing this as afavor, as a friend.
I want you to get the heads up.
Please don't tell them.
Yes, I want to stay in the band.
I'm a founding member.
What are you talking about?
(26:08):
Okay, here's.
Yeah.
Like I said, some very similarscenarios to this have happened
before.
Here's how it usually goes down.
There's some dread game whereMatt talks about firing somebody
(26:28):
and sets it up so it's gonnaget back to them.
So it's not straight from him,but they do get wind of it.
Like if he thinks maybe theyneed to torque it up a little
bit.
Like, yeah, you're a greatxylophone player in a formal
sense, but maybe I think hewants you to bring a little more
energy.
(26:49):
We're trying to be glam.
This is a glam rock band.
It's not Berklee School ofMusic.
No, I'm not insulting you.
If anything, you're tootalented to be in this band.
You work too hard.
This is a fun band we play.
So if you do the Ziggy's andyou bring the noise and he sees
(27:15):
you having fun, don't be the MVP, but be a key player.
Like don't, yeah, do not everoutshine Matt, believe me and
this is a big show becausethere's going to be industry
there.
It's serious.
We've been burned before, butthis time is slightly different.
(27:38):
I don't want to jinx it, so I'mnot going to say no, I have not
heard Rick Rubin's name floatedthis time.
Yeah, that would have been cool.
It was worth the trip to NewYork just for that dream, okay.
So, yeah, show up at Zazigi's.
(27:59):
Give it everything you got.
Have fun seriously.
Give it everything you got.
Have fun seriously.
You need to have fun with this.
It needs yeah, I know thatyou're having fun.
I know what it looks like whenyou're having fun.
You need to look like you'rehaving fun to people who don't
(28:19):
know you like I do.
I know it's going to be hard.
I know this is tough.
Yeah, here's the thing.
There's also a chance, ifhistory is any guide, that Matt
is going to fire you on stage asa ZZ.
Yeah, he's done that before.
(28:44):
He did that while you were inthe band.
That's what happened toJonathan and yeah, in that case,
you should probably cry Likeyeah, don't let him know.
You saw it coming.
Like don't burn me, I'm tryingto help you, don't blow up my
(29:07):
spot.
It's got to look like asurprise and it's part of the
show Like this is one of thethings he's famous for doing and
he wants the industry people tosee that.
Yeah, I'd have to say this isprobably it.
(29:28):
If I were you, I would show upand bring it and have a blast,
just so you can.
That's a great way to go outand that will be remembered and
recognized.
No, matt and Ben don't care,but people with hearts and
(29:49):
feelings around town willrecognize and respect that.
And oh, here's another thingManny and Richard are starting a
new band.
Yeah, they both got kicked out.
Richard got kicked out beforeyour time.
I think you and Manny werebandmates for like two weeks and
(30:12):
he got kicked out also on stageat a show.
No, the band is shockingly good.
I was just as surprised as youare.
Yeah, they asked me if I wantedto manage.
I can't really do that.
That would cause real problemswith Matt.
(30:34):
I could be like a silentpartner in management.
You know Megadeth started thatway.
Dave Mustaine was drummed outof Metallica and started a band
that was very successful in itsown right, not like Metallica.
(30:56):
But yeah, listen, this is tough.
I know things have changed alot since you joined the band.
Yeah, cynthia and Roger andthem.
They're going to stick withMatt.
(31:17):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Look, I know you.
I know who you are.
I know you.
I know who you are.
I know your characters.
I know your values.
I know what you believe in.
Look, you're better off doingyour own thing.
Seriously, this was going toend in tears and you had a good
(31:38):
ride.
You accomplished a lot.
Yeah, you're going to be on.
I think you're going to be on.
I think you're going to be onthe next record.
Yeah, make sure you get paidfor that.
That's not something that youcan assume is going to happen.
Yeah, I have to stick around.
(32:03):
I'm a founding member.
I'm indispensable.
Yeah, these things are tough.
Change is hard, but it'sinevitable and it's the only way
we go into new things thatcould be better, into new things
(32:28):
that could be better.
Yeah, I defended you, of course.
Yeah, I told Matt.
I thought he was making a bigmistake.
I'm not afraid of him.
I can say what I want, but hecan do what he wants.
There's not much I can do aboutthat.
It's his band.
I mean, it's kind of my band,it's partly my band, but he's
(32:50):
the majority shareholder andit's his vision, and what he
says goes.
Yeah, I know these people inthis town are such garbage.
Yeah, these people, for all oftheir flaws, the people in this
(33:14):
world that we're in, they'rereally the best you could do in
this town.
Yeah, you can't come to.
I don't think it's a good ideafor you to come to the parties
anymore if you leave the band onbad terms, just kind of how
it's being set up.
(33:34):
Yeah, it's kayfabe, it'swrestling, it's so stupid.
Matt is such a child.
But, yeah, you won't be invitedto that anymore.
You can do your own thing.
Yeah, fun is not the first wordI think of when I think of you,
(33:56):
but I'm fun.
Yeah, I could have parties andwould not invite Matt.
I'd party with Manny all thetime.
Oh no, his coke is not.
You don't even get anywherenear that stuff.
Yeah, I know you could alwayssleep with me.
(34:26):
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, that's a joke.
Yeah, you told me it was nevergoing to happen.
I respect that.
I'm just saying, if it comesdown to that, yeah, of course
that hurts my feelings, I'mgoing to let it go.
You're having a hard time orit's a rough night?
(34:51):
Yeah, I'm getting drunk.
Hang out, let's make it a night, let's celebrate or whatever
the opposite of celebrating is.
All I'm saying is you could doa lot worse.
(35:14):
You have Recently.
No, I'm not trying to twist theknife, I'm sorry.
I'm trying to lighten the mood,okay, yeah, I know.
Yeah, it's Nothing really helpsexcept time.
Don't write off this new band,though.
That xylophone is just whatthey need and you're damn good
(35:39):
at xylophone.
Siofm Suzanne is a sleeper.
(36:09):
She's not who you think she isat first.
Yeah, she doesn't advertise.
She's not out there trying tobe funny or interesting, but the
more you get to know her, shehas had a fascinating life,
multiple lives, really.
Did you know?
She's been married three times.
Yeah, I know you wouldn't think.
(36:32):
Yeah, the first one was in herhometown where she spent the
first 22 years of her life.
It's old school, verytraditional.
Yeah, pretty much everybodygets married in their early 20s.
A lot of it's uh, kind ofarranged from with their
(36:56):
children.
But, like, everyone's cool withit because Because, yeah, it's
a good quality of life, it'sself-contained, it's not really
affected too much by the outsideworld, because they're like a
family Everybody knows everybodyand pretty much everybody loves
everybody.
You have to screw up hard tonot be loved there.
(37:19):
It is also very backward insome ways, like Suzanne, of
course was adored.
Yeah, that kind of hometownsweetness, that's not an
affectation.
I think that might be who sheis on a deep level.
(37:42):
And yeah, she was absolutelyloved Beautiful, kind,
thoughtful, approachable,intelligent, funny in an
interesting way.
Yeah, she loved everybody.
(38:02):
Everybody loved her.
There were a couple of guys thatvery much wanted to marry her
Ryan and Steve.
Yeah, ryan was kind of theathlete, slash, intellectual.
Yeah, he read Nietzsche andthere's classic literature too.
(38:26):
Yeah, I don't know how he hadthe time.
I guess they did haveaudiobooks.
Yeah, it wasn't that long ago.
But yeah, super smart, superathletic, a little avoidant.
We all have our flaws.
They make us more lovable.
And Steve was not.
(38:48):
No, he was different.
He was definitely in his ownworld.
Yeah, he had a group of friendsthat were like the people that
didn't really have anywhere elseto sit in the cafeteria.
So they sat together and theystarted a friend group, kind of
(39:12):
as a defense mechanism, bydefault, although they didn't
really like each other.
No, he was cool.
It's not like what I'm making itsound like.
Even the untouchables in thistown, where they were part of
the family, and Suzanne Itotally believe this says that
(39:34):
she would have been equallyhappy with either.
She loved them both likebrothers that she could see
herself having sex with, so likehot stepbrothers I guess, yeah,
ryan seemed like a more aptchoice.
No, she loves Steve.
(39:54):
She sees the good in everybody.
Sometimes, the deeper it'shidden, the more it means to her
.
And yeah, I mentioned that itwas backward.
I didn't mention that.
If there's a situation like this, where two suitors are
basically evenly matched and thewould-be bride doesn't make a
(40:21):
choice, they fight to the death.
I know it's weird, I don't know.
I guess the feds don't knowabout this or you know, the
G-men don't show up untilthey've got you dead to rights.
They'll circle for yearsgetting enough information to
(40:43):
get a warrant.
Yes, and I don't know if honorcultures are what they're
investigating a lot right now.
Oh, it's totally illegal.
Actually, the laws of this townspecifically allow it.
Actually, the laws of this townspecifically allow it.
But that's in contradiction toevery state and federal law or
(41:07):
guideline.
But, yeah, they do it.
It's a fistfight, so you haveto kill the other person in
bare-knuckles combat and that'sexactly the kind of thing that
Ryan had been preparing himselffor.
And, yeah, steve got knockedout and, yeah, he did die in the
(41:27):
hospital three days later andRyan was declared the victor and
Suzanne and Ryan started toplan their wedding.
But then it got out.
They were into some weird sexstuff while suzanne was yeah,
like I said, she's way moreinteresting than she gets credit
for.
(41:47):
But she doesn't.
This is, she doesn't talk aboutherself like this.
Yeah, it was, um, it was notlike any.
You know, it was consentingadults.
It's not anything I would thinktwice about living in LA.
But in this community you hadto be discreet about it and
(42:09):
Ryan's whole thing was beingwatched.
So eventually, yeah, they gotcaught and they had to flee
Because that's, yeah, the honorculture kind of pervades and
(42:30):
saturates the whole society ofthat place.
So they had to get out thatnight with just whatever they
could pack and they skipped townand they landed in a place they
could pack and they skippedtown and they landed in a place
that she calls it Lawyerville.
I don't think that's the realname, but it would be
(42:52):
appropriate because there's thisaggressive elite class that
kind of runs everything.
And they did not like Ryan.
They hated him.
On sight, I think they couldsee that they'd met their match.
But he hadn't done anything yetso they couldn't kick them out.
(43:12):
They just kind of isolated them.
The neighbors wouldn't talk tothem, wouldn't talk to them.
Yeah, they were kind of alonein this not-so-nice house in a
not-so-nice part of town, whichwas good because they didn't
have to deal with the warriorclass on the other side of town
(43:33):
by the water.
But yeah, eventually they werejust like what are we gonna do
to eke out a living here?
They thought about going backon the road, but there's already
.
They were just like what are wegoing to do to eke out a living
here?
They thought about going backon the road, but they knew that
the people from Suzanne'shometown were after them and
they needed to lay low.
So Ryan was like I'm going tolay super low, I'm going to
(43:57):
become the king of the criminalunderworld in this town.
And it was not hard for him todo that.
He happened to stumble into apower vacuum.
It was an unusually poorlyorganized criminal underworld
which is really saying something, and it was pretty easy for him
(44:22):
to get that going.
Meanwhile Suzanne was at home, alot changing channels on the TV
.
There were only three channels.
That got old really fast.
For a while, yeah, she was daydrinking but she said she was
drinking wine at noon.
For a while.
Yeah, she was day drinking butshe said she was drinking wine
(44:44):
at noon for a week but then cutthat out because she didn't want
to go down that road after hermom's situation.
But yeah, now she had nothing todo with the boredom and yeah,
she hooked up with this warriorclass dude named Lucius.
She had nothing to do with theboredom and yeah, she, um, she
(45:05):
hooked up with this warriorclass dude named Lucius.
I just jacked up, roided outbig guy yeah, ryan knew about it
and he, um, he had some of hisown things going on in the
underworld.
If you're, um, if you're on inthe underworld, if you're king
of the underworld, you havepretty much irresistible
(45:27):
opportunities for sex.
So they had a deal.
Oh, yeah, suzanne isopen-minded, doesn't begin to
describe it.
Yeah, she's wild, she's seensome stuff.
But anyway, she got involvedwith this guy named Lucius and
the sex was good.
He was a little selfish, whichwas kind of hot at first, but
(45:51):
then she did get tired of thatafter a while Of just feeling
ignored, of just feeling ignored.
And, yeah, and Lucius caughtfeelings.
Yeah, you never know whenthat's going to happen.
Lucius left his wife with theintention of being with Suzanne
(46:17):
and they didn't talk about itbeforehand.
Suzanne would not in a millionyears want to be with Lucius.
And yeah, they found outquickly that it wasn't a public
thing.
But if you tangled withsomebody from the warrior class
(46:40):
it was going to result in a duel.
And, yeah, lucius won thateasily.
It was a laugher, it was a rout.
Yeah, they didn't even letpeople look at Ryan's body.
That's how bad it was.
(47:01):
And Suzanne was heartbroken andshe hated Lucius at this point.
It was always kind of hate sexfrom the beginning, which can be
a wonderful kind of sex, butshe didn't want to marry him and
she didn't know what the hellto do now that she was stuck in
this life.
(47:22):
She didn't want, like she gotto hang out on the shore with
the warrior class in the castlesand go to nice restaurants
every weekend and she justloathed every second of it like
this is not for me.
This is not who I am.
I don't love this guy.
(47:42):
I don't know how I feel aboutmyself anymore.
Yeah, she says to this day thatthis is the worst time of her
life and she's just aching forRyan, like his absence is just
such a void.
Yeah, she really got to knowhim, which was, by all accounts,
(48:03):
not easily done.
They really clicked, yeah.
So what happened was she kind ofvaguely knew some of Ryan's old
underworld connections and oneof them was this guy named Spike
(48:24):
and it's pretty much what youwould picture.
Just, you know, tattoos,motorcycle, yeah, like central
casting all the way, big muttonchop sideburns, central casting,
all the way, big muttonchopsideburns Kind of a nemesis of
the warrior class, because hewas the one underworld guy that
(48:47):
they just wouldn't you know,anybody that messed around with
him was probably in trouble.
So they just tried to stay outof his way and he and Suzanne
kind of started a thing, suzannekind of started a thing, and
they both tangled with Lucius inthe past and they ended up
(49:17):
setting him up Like Suzanne toldLucius that she was going to
put one over on Spike and askedhim if he wanted to get involved
.
And of course at first he waslike no, because he had too much
to lose being in the warriorclass.
But then he started thinkingand feeling how much he hated
(49:37):
Lucius and was like maybe thisisn't such a bad idea.
He hated Lucius and was likemaybe this isn't such a bad idea
.
And so they got a schemetogether where Lucius was going
to get the drop on Spike.
That was the idea.
And of course Spike knewexactly what was coming.
(49:58):
And Lucius was not good at this.
No, he was not slick, becausehe had been part of this warrior
group his whole life.
He never had to do anything forhimself.
Really, yeah, they.
No, he survived.
He got beaten pretty badly.
I would not wish that beating.
(50:19):
I would wish it on maybe mythree worst enemies, not the
fourth.
It was bad, but you know,suzanne wasn't really mad about
it because she'd had enough ofLucius at that point.
And they decamped for anotherplace which seemed to have a
(50:45):
warrior class of its own.
But that was an illusion,because this was a city run by
tricksters.
And Spike immediately fell inwith the Potemkin warrior class
Because that's kind of alwayswhat he wanted.
The whole rebel outlaw schtickwas always out of spite.
(51:11):
Yeah, he always wanted to be awarrior.
And now he had his chance.
And what he discovered was thatevery now and then the warrior
class would be sent off on somekind of mission.
And yeah, they would just getlost.
Now they wouldn't like itwasn't like alive, they wouldn't
(51:34):
put them out somewhere.
No, they just.
There were so many side questsand like it was such a weird
puzzle.
It was like an alternativereality game disguised as a
military mission.
No, I mean, they never cameback.
That was the whole point.
And yeah, there were twowarriors who, yeah, because she
(51:57):
was single and she didn't knowthe tricksters, because the
tricksters would lose a lot oftheir leverage if people knew
what was up.
So they kind of kept tothemselves.
But they saw everything.
They knew everything that wasgoing on.
Nothing got past them and theyloved Suzanne, because how could
you not?
(52:17):
Because how could you not?
And so they saw, when two ofthe quote-unquote warriors
decided to stage a duel forSuzanne's hand in marriage, one
of the tricksters came down inthe form of a coyote.
(52:40):
Like they do Not very subtle.
The tricksters were kind ofcocky.
Yeah, they wasn't Coming downas a bedbug would have been more
subtle and creative, but it wasa quick, fly-by-night thing.
(53:01):
They came down.
One of them came down and toldSuzanne, like look, just let the
duel happen, encourage it or,you know, act like you're.
I say like why are you fightingover me?
Why can't you be friends?
And that's just going toencourage them more because
they're going to see you're awonderful person and that's
(53:21):
going to make them hate eachother even more, because that's
what they do.
The duel came to pass and, as itwas happening, ryan showed up.
Yeah, he had survived barelysurvived his injuries, and he
went into the woods and he livedoff of berries and wood chips
(53:48):
and dirt and creek water formonths, like the whole time
through the whole Lucius episode, and Suzanne decamped
post-haste with Ryan.
They got out of there and, yeah, it didn't work out in the end.
(54:12):
It's they just their livesbifurcated.
They realized that they willalways love each other and
that's not always enough.
Just because you love somebody,it doesn't mean you can live
with them and it definitelydoesn't mean you can live with
them for the rest of your life,especially if you're the kind of
people that realize that changeis to be embraced.
(54:36):
Yeah, like that's onehyper-intellectual, kinda
high-strung weirdo, and Suzannewho's?
Speaker 2 (54:47):
in her own category.
Speaker 1 (54:49):
Yeah, so they had an amicable they didn't even need
to go to court or anythingbecause she's still technically
married to Lucius.
Yeah, I don't know whathappened there.
Yeah, he's still alive.
Nobody knows where he is.
He's lost on some interminableside quest, one can assume.
Oh yeah, if you ever get achance to just hang out with
(55:11):
Suzanne.
No, you can't.
If you ask her.
She doesn't take requests.
Just talk about things thatyou're interested in and she
will have a story that's relatedand it's going to be buck wild.
Yeah, suzanne is a sleeper,she's seen some stuff and a
(55:35):
wonderful person.
You could not ask for a biggersweetheart, warm and fuzzy,
center of the universe.
That's what I didn't come upwith, that Somebody else did,
but that's like the best review.
Yeah, suzanne is the bomb.
(55:55):
I'd marry her too.
(56:16):
Dot com on K-Chung, los Angeles,1630 AM.
K-chung Radio.
Dot O-R-G.
I am Emerson Dameron, theproducer and host of the show.
I love you personally.
Levity saves lives.
Take a beat, breathe into theexperience of being here and ask
(57:07):
yourself what am I so afraid of?
Maybe you're afraid of missingsome essential life experience.
You're afraid you already have,or that it doesn't matter
because nothing does.
Maybe it's nothing, maybeyou're just a regular nerves
McGee, or maybe you're afraid ofyour own glorious cataclysmic
(57:28):
power, the riotous multitudesyou contain.
You are smart enough to knowhow nearly infinitely ignorant
you are, but you're not toosmart to be hot and you may
already be a satanic Buddhist.
Nothing is good or bad inisolation, only in context.
The Buddha and the Beastmasterare a good team.
(57:49):
This, right here, is all youget.
Life is for living up downacross, diagonally, sideways,
because nothing matters.
You may already be a satanicBuddhist.
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