January 4, 2023 • 61 mins
Prepare yourself for the challenges, opportunities, synchronicities, and enigmas of 2023 with fables, pep talks, life lessons, and breakthrough breathing exercises from one of the top five radio programs in the Los Angeles market.*
Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes is a production of KCHUNG.
Music by Visions of the Universe. Produced, performed, written, and created by Emerson Dameron, who is solely responsible for its content. Levity saves lives.
*by certain metrics
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You love tough times because you've got confidence.
You're in love with yourself.
You're the best lover you'veever had and they can't take
that away from you like yourWikipedia page.
By day, you're grounded,comfortable in your stillness.
By night, you jack it likenobody's watching.
You know how to let go and takeout the garbage.
It's bad for the environment,but that's not your problem.
You'd rather connect withothers than compare yourself
(00:22):
with them, so you don't judge,even if they're bad at
masturbation.
You know your potential.
You master your practice.
You conquered a small islandnation during no Nut November.
You hunt and kill your own foodand if you don't catch anything
, you eat your own sweaters likea moth.
You will save us all.
You will get off on doing itbecause you've got unstoppable
confidence.
(00:43):
Off on doing it because you'vegot unstoppable confidence.
K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Worldwide on the World Wide Webat kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes, a production
of K-Chung produced by EmersonDameron Music.
(01:03):
On this episode by Visions ofthe Universe,
medicated-minutecom.
Levity saves lives.
Let's take a moment and breathe.
It's 2023, just getting started.
(01:27):
That's very exciting.
Well, you might be hoping for aboring year.
We haven't had one of those ina while there's the old Chinese
blessing may you live in boringtimes.
Most of us have not had theopportunity to experience that.
Maybe you want to be bored.
Maybe that was the promise ofthe Biden years.
(01:53):
Nevertheless, if things do getexciting or even a little bit
gnarly, be on the lookout forinteresting coincidences,
synchronicities.
There are a lot of oddcoincidences involving the
(02:14):
number 23.
It's the 23 enigma, which isthe subject of a very bad film.
So be ready for that.
Be prepared for theopportunities that will present
themselves, and one way you cando that is to breathe.
(02:35):
Your breath might be the coolestthing that you have.
It's better than a rose goldiPhone.
Your breath is your life force.
It's the first thing you didwhen you were born.
It's the last thing you'regonna do when you die.
(02:55):
You do it all day.
You do it when you're sleeping.
You do it when you're awake.
You do it when you're thinkingabout other things, because
ideally it takes care of itself,much like a cat.
You have to attend to itsometimes, but it mostly is
(03:16):
capable of minding its ownbusiness and it's free.
For now, you can breatheanywhere you want.
It's socially acceptable underalmost any conditions, anywhere,
anytime.
The breath is yours.
They can't take it away fromyou, except under very unusual
(03:41):
and probably unpleasantcircumstances very unusual and
probably unpleasantcircumstances.
You can travel and take yourbreath on board the airplane for
free.
You don't have to check it.
You can keep it with you.
You don't lose it, exceptsometimes you do and that can be
(04:09):
a problem.
But you can always get it back,and you have to because it's
mandatory.
You've got to keep breathing tostay alive and to do most other
things.
It's the thing that all of thesystems in your body rely on,
more than anything else, andthey don't work properly unless
(04:31):
you're breathing, and breathingon a regular basis.
And everything works a lotbetter if you're breathing well.
And you can do that because youcan control your breath.
It is mandatory and it'sreflexive, but you also have a
(04:51):
lot of authority over how youbreathe and choose to breathe,
and you can transform your stateand your experience of the
world and the way that otherpeople experience you by
deepening your breath.
Usually that's the directionthat you want to go.
(05:13):
Most people are shallowbreathers because there's just
way too much going on and it's alot and it's disorienting and
confusing and sometimes weforget to breathe.
And then, when we remember,sometimes we breathe in a
shallow way, which I suppose hassome advantages.
(05:33):
There are some people thathyperventilate for fun, which we
will also get into but ideallyyou want to deepen it, and if
you deepen your breath andbreathe all the way down into
your belly, you can transformyour state.
You can send signals to thestubborn and not too bright
(05:55):
parts of yourself that need alittle bit of extra
encouragement to chill out andget in the game.
You can get into the crevices,you can clear out the dust and
you can thrive rather than justsurviving, unless your
(06:20):
circumstances are highly unusual.
There's the possibility for youto thrive, should you take it,
and your breath is a portal tothat.
Shallow.
Breathing is all about survival.
You're on the run, you'rehypervigilant for threats,
(06:41):
you're nervous.
Maybe you don't feel greatabout yourself.
You're nervous, maybe you don'tfeel great about yourself.
(07:04):
Diaphragmatic breathing deepbreathing is for thriving and
enjoying yourself and bawlingand having sex and making love
and and working out and relaxing, and sometimes some people want
to breathe shallowly.
There's something calledholotropic breath work, which is
basically controlledhyperventilating.
It was devised by thepsychedelic psychologist
Stanislav Grof, who used to giveLSD to groups of people and the
(07:30):
government got involved anddidn't like it and tried to take
the fun out of it.
But Grof was not going out likethat, so he started having
groups of people hyperventilateand that can be, if nothing else
, a good excuse to scream andcry in a large group of people.
(07:54):
Some people say that they havehallucinations and psychedelic
experiences.
You might, if you don't go intoit expecting too much.
As of many things, I thinkbreathing is at least one of the
(08:14):
top five human activities bycertain metrics, and if you get
really good at it, you will putyourself in the top five for
relaxing, working out, havingsex, making love by certain
metrics, and all you have to dois get good at breathing.
(08:37):
Breathing represents all of theinteresting polarities in life,
where we attract things thatare like in some ways, but also
opposite in some crucial ways.
The like brings comfort, whichallows us to allow in the
tension of the opposites.
(08:59):
It's life and death, beginningand end, masculine and feminine,
in and out, and anyone can doit.
It's the first thing you everdid.
It doesn't take much to make ithappen.
It takes a lifetime to master,which is cool.
(09:24):
It gives you something to focuson, something to do, something
to come back to a soft place toland.
So remember to breathe.
Start the day out with somebreathing, deepen the breathing,
slow down.
Almost anything gets nicer whenyou slow it way down and
(09:49):
breathe.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes, one of the
top five shows in the LosAngeles market by certain
metrics.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I'm the producer, director,writer, talent host, the guy.
(10:12):
Music is by Visions of theUniverse.
Everything else is by me.
I'm entirely responsible.
Levity saves lives.
You're on K-Chung 1630 AM,kchungradioorg, and we're
(10:32):
breathing and it feels really,really good to be present here,
the only place to be presenthere, the only place to be.
Men are in trouble, we'relonely, we can't get jobs we
(10:57):
hate and we can't stop killingourselves.
We need new ideas and newleadership, and that's why I'm
here.
First of all, don't try todominate anything if you don't
know what the hell you're doing.
Feel your feelings, even thegnarly ones.
Vulnerability is strength,which sounds paradoxical because
nothing has made sense in along time.
Get with the program.
Don't try to be nice if it'sinauthentic.
(11:20):
That makes you resentful,passive-aggressive and mediocre,
which is worse than being eviland not sexy.
Go with the flow, but don't getwashed away into chaos.
There's no lifeguard.
They cut the budget for that.
Go beyond good and evil,transcend and include Seduce
like a flow boy and dominatelike a hot douchebag.
(11:41):
Be an artist, a scientist and awarrior and take all those tax
deductions, practice the art ofpatience and hurry up.
The apocalypse is coming and youdon't want to miss it.
This is just to let you knowthat you are okay, you're good,
(12:06):
you're perfectly imperfect, justthe way you are, and you can
always be better, because it'salways both.
But your big challenge rightnow is to yourself and accept
things as they are in thismoment, which is the only moment
(12:29):
that matters, because it's theonly moment where anything is
happening.
You're loving, you're loved,you're gonna be okay.
You're freaking the hell outright now and I'm not entirely
sure why, and I'm gonna keepyelling at you until you calm
(12:50):
down and accept yourself andaccept the world and accept your
fate and take control of yourfate to the extent that you can.
But there are things that youcannot change.
But you can give your gifts andbe generous.
(13:17):
By offering all of the goldengreatness that is deep within
your heart and soul, you willbring love and abundance into
your life beyond anything youcan imagine right now.
Everything that you wanted whenyou were younger and thought
(13:38):
that you would never have willcome in torrents.
You'll be surrounded bywell-wishers and people trying
to take advantage of you, and itwill be hard to know the
difference.
You will get filthy, richbeyond your wildest imagination
(14:02):
and your lifestyle will adjustto meet that line, to match up
with that new reality.
You'll start buying a lot ofnice cars and eventually a big
old mansion on Manhattan Beachand you'll have parties there
(14:29):
and you'll invite people, someof them you don't really know.
Eventually you'll invitesomebody that acts like they're
having a good time, when inreality they're casing the joint
.
And a couple of weeks lateryour mansion will be stormed by
(14:53):
gangsters with guns and skimasks and they will take you
hostage.
And when that happens, yourchallenge is to accept it.
In this moment, this is what'shappening.
Stay calm.
(15:13):
That will freak them out.
They will leave.
They'll let you go.
They might grab some cash.
If you have loose bags ofcocaine or other drugs on the
premises, they might leave withthose.
And then you'll have to dealwith being alone again and the
(15:42):
loneliness that comes when theparty's over and everyone leaves
and that loneliness may just bethe biggest problem in the
world right now.
And your challenge is to acceptthat and call up a friend, call
(16:06):
up someone who has been apositive influence in your life
and say thank you, give themsome regard.
And if you don't have anyfriends which is entirely
possible, which is entirelypossible it's hard to maintain
friendships as an adult,especially if you don't know who
(16:33):
you can trust.
Befriend someone, take oneinterpersonal risk per day.
Make a friendly acquaintanceand accept them.
Accept them for who they areand, who knows, you might make a
friend who's just asself-absorbed as you are.
(17:00):
The trick is to connect, butdon't compare.
Comparing yourself to what yousee of other people is the
quickest route toself-recrimination, sadness and
aloneness and barking madness.
(17:20):
And also, most people aren'tgoing to measure up to you.
So what's the point incomparing?
You're one of the top five inthe world at whatever it is you
do.
And I don't mean your job, Idon't mean your hobbies, your
vocation and avocation.
(17:41):
I mean vocation and avocation.
I mean you're one of the topfive in the world at whatever it
is that you're doing at thatgiven time.
People admire you.
Some of them are afraid to letyou know.
They're afraid to let it show.
(18:02):
A lot of people have wanted tobe you or wanted to sleep with
you over the years, but theywere afraid to take their shot.
They were afraid that if theyasked if you wanted to get down
(18:24):
or if they tried to emulate you,that might make it weird, and
they didn't want to lose yourfriendship.
And friendship is what reallymatters.
It's the only true currency inthe world which will end, and
(18:46):
you'll be one of the peoplewho's around to watch the whole
thing go down you and yourfriends, and you will have the
deepest, most moving, mostinsightful things to say about
it, and people will want to bearound to hear what you have to
(19:12):
say.
When you die, you will not bemourned because you will die at
the same moment that everyoneelse dies.
You will be around for the endof the world.
Your family will save money onfuneral expenses.
(19:37):
You'll get to throw down withall of your friends and have a
good time right up until thefiery end or the icy end.
(19:58):
It could go either way.
According to the poet RobertFrost, it's ridiculous that you
would ever not think highly ofyourself.
It's good that you have a senseof humor about yourself.
(20:22):
That has made you strong.
It's thickened your skin.
Self-mockery is indeed thefoundation of an inconquerable
ego, as the writer Jeff Coyensaid, but at the same time,
which is now, which is in thefuture, from all of that you
(20:51):
don't even need a sense of humoranymore.
Self-deprecation does notbecome you.
You're the best and you've gotserious work to do, because
things are happening in thismoment, which is the only place
that things are happening, andthe only thing that's happening
(21:14):
is impermanence.
So it is time.
It is time to put your plan inmotion.
Show us what you got.
We gotta know we love you, youare loved, you are loving, you
(21:44):
are and always were and alwayswill be okay.
So accept that, for all of yourvirtues, you're alarmingly
(22:12):
ignorant about many things.
One of those things is you.
You don't know your ownstrength, and that makes
everyone around you miserable.
You can't always feel good, butyou don't have to feel bad
about feeling bad.
Nevertheless, just as a thoughtexperiment, see what happens
when you take responsibility foryour experience.
There's a fine line betweenanxiety and excitement.
(22:32):
So suffer on purpose Instead ofalienating everyone.
Torture them Intentionally,exquisitely.
Become lucid in the wakingdream of your life.
Enjoy the complimentarycontinental breakfast.
Keep your power, know your ownstrength.
A sex worker falls in love withher client.
(22:53):
This qualifies as a man bitesdog story, because it's
something that very rarelyhappens.
If you hire a sex workerexpecting this or hoping for
this, or thinking that you're socharming that this is going to
(23:13):
happen, it's definitely notgoing to happen for you, but
that's not to say that it neverhappens, and in this case it
happened.
She fell in love deeply andprofoundly, more so than she'd
ever experienced in the past,and we're talking about a
(23:39):
straight woman sex worker and astraight male client, which is
heteronormative.
But keep in mind, someidentifying details have been
changed.
Some identifying details havebeen changed.
(23:59):
He's married, which complicatesthings and creates a lot of
stress, but there's a fine linebetween anxiety and excitement,
especially where taboo subjectmatter is concerned.
And indeed they have wild,passionate, mutually degrading
but at the same time, veryloving, caring sex on the
(24:21):
regular.
He's spending a lot of money onthis and it is not an exclusive
relationship on either sideexclusive relationship on either
side.
He also has a lot of affairsgoing on and he's an MBA and a
(24:41):
manager by trade, so he is adeptat project management but
nevertheless, when feelings getinvolved, all bets are off and
at one point he freaks out.
All bets are off and at onepoint he freaks out, tries to
save his marriage and they don'tsee each other for a while and
she gets on with her life.
After a few months he getsbored and frustrated and comes
(25:20):
back to her and the patternrepeats over the course of a
year and change and his affairsget more expensive and stressful
and he's running up a lot ofdebt that he can't really afford
.
It's starting to encroach ontohis work and the rest of his
life, which is basicallysleeping because most of his
life is work or affairs.
And this keeps going until hebecomes very self-conscious
(25:48):
about his pattern of destruction.
But he also realizes that he isin turn catching feelings.
For the sex worker it startedearly on in the business
arrangement and he didn't wantto accept that, because it's not
(26:09):
something that doesn't end intears most of the time.
But after a while it becameundeniable that the sex was
really good, which means thatthey could let their guard down
enough to give each other a tourof the darkest corners of their
(26:31):
psyches, and they just enjoyedeach other, a tour of the
darkest corners of their psyches, and they just enjoyed each
other's company.
But it was getting reallystressful and didn't seem
sustainable the way it was going.
So they devised a system beforethey have sex, he pays her the
(26:57):
asking price plus a little bit,which is the tip.
Because it's America, they havesex.
It's usually up to him howthings go because that's part of
the deal.
But sometimes what he wants isfor her to take charge, which
(27:22):
he's happy to do, and there's alot of variety.
And then the sex after theyboth come, depending on how good
it was, how brutal, howpassionate, how enjoyable.
She pays him and thus,incentivized, he gets more and
(27:51):
more curious about herexperience.
He does some research, he getsbetter and better and better at
sex.
As they get more and morecomfortable with each other, his
other affairs kind of taper offand he can focus more on this
connection, this relationship,or on this connection, this
(28:14):
relationship, and after a whilehe's in the black.
He's made all his money backand then some he's thinking
about quitting his job andstarting his own business and
(28:36):
probably getting a divorce,although that's easier said than
done, Although it would be theright thing to do, if not the
easy thing, because it's reallyjust eating his soul alive, and
that's really just eating hissoul alive and that's not
sustainable.
(28:58):
For many years you put your headdown, you honed your work ethic
, you made yourself boring, andnow it's time to have fun, which
kind of feels like anotherresponsibility, because you're
not sure how to do it.
You're not sure when was thelast time you had fun.
(29:19):
You're not sure if you've everhad fun, but your friends have
your back.
They've planned you a funbirthday celebration at the
Cheesecake Factory, which isyour favorite restaurant,
because it's the best restaurantto celebrate the success that
you've developed throughself-discipline and the
(29:43):
ass-clenched stoicism thatyou've honed to an art over the
last few years as you've takencontrol of your life, the
control that you did not havefor many years prior to that.
But it's been a new epoch.
It's your birthday.
It's time to celebrate.
(30:03):
You showed up to the CheesecakeFactory a little bit late, just
sailing on San Pedro and LSD,you ordered a thousand bucks
worth of food with the moneythat you'd saved up, which is
(30:25):
about 70 grand.
So you barely noticed it.
And what's the point of havingmoney if you can't enjoy
spending it.
Hoarding money is one of thebiggest problems in the world,
along with loneliness.
So you got a lot of food, alittle bit of everything, from
(30:49):
all over the menu.
You ate some of it enough toget satiated and satisfied and
you let everybody else eat asmuch food as they wanted.
You offered up the remainder ofyour food to the group and most
(31:12):
of them weren't hungry anymore.
So it was time for a good,old-fashioned food fight.
At first, no one else wasreally on board with this.
You used to have some wildfriends, but since you took
control of your life they've allkind of fallen away and most of
(31:34):
your friends now are prettybuttoned down and conservative
and no one was really excitedabout having a food fight.
But it was your birthday, whichcomes but once a year, and if
you're a Satanist it's theholiest day on the calendar, and
(32:00):
some of your friends areSatanists.
So they decided to humor youand things got buck.
Wild Food was flying.
The staff got involved.
They tried to break it up, butone of them got decked with a
(32:21):
key lime pie and it was on,gathered into clans and there
was a war at the CheesecakeFactory.
It was a food war.
The food fight turned into abattle, which turned into a war,
(32:45):
and you showed them how to live.
If you want to thrive or evensurvive in the world, you've got
to learn how to communicate,step one listen to what people
say and repeat it back to them.
Eventually, they'll get boredand leave you alone.
Rather than getting reactive ordefensive or casting aspersions
(33:07):
, simply describe your feelingsabout the events, especially if
those feelings include anger, inwhich case you can throw in
some full-contact interpretivedance.
To get to the truth of anotherperson's experience, use the
magic words what do you needright now?
Find their frightened, woundedinner child and give it a toy
(33:29):
that makes noise.
Ask for what you need.
That's your only hope of evergetting it.
Ask for what you need that'syour only hope of ever getting
it.
Most people aren't mind readers, and the ones who are stay far
away from you.
Just remember you can't alwaysget what you want.
Some people don't like you ordon't pay attention, but you can
avoid dying alone in the desert.
(33:50):
You're good, except for the factthat you haven't accepted
yourself.
You look to other people foracceptance as well as
suggestions.
Have boundaries and enforcethem, which is harder than just
having them if you look to otherpeople not just for approval
(34:27):
but for plans of things to doand ways to figure out who
you're supposed to be, it's hardfor them to trust you and it's
hard to have real solidrelationships, connections and
(34:52):
collaborations that bear fruit.
So relationships, friendshipsdefinitely important, but what
you really need in your life isa mission, a passion, an
obsessive, maddening,all-consuming, all-in, devouring
(35:21):
.
Passion Could be a passionproject, not a passion for
another person.
You need something morereliable.
(35:45):
Getting attached to the wayother people are behaving is
like getting upset about theweather.
Is like getting upset about theweather.
You have to get upset about howyou're feeling and then do
something about it and get backon your mission and pursue your
(36:09):
passion.
People won't trust you unlessyou have something going on in
your life that keeps you way toobusy to hang out with them.
And if you don't have a passion, get one.
Get a three-card tarot reading.
(36:30):
Throw the I Ching, pick one.
Open the dictionary, run yourfinger down the one.
Open the dictionary, run yourfinger down the page, open your
eyes.
That's your passion.
You gotta start somewhere,otherwise there's no passion in
your life.
And people can smell passionand most people are into that
(36:55):
smell and if they can't smellpassion on you, it's hard for
them to trust you Because you'renot well-defined.
When you pick your passion,think big, bigger than that Real
(37:21):
big.
Otherwise go home.
Actually, don't go home untilyou've claimed your passion and
then take your passion home, butnot for long, dangerous
(38:06):
explosions.
It should attract fans.
You should be rewarded by aloyal audience.
Your passion should beremunerative.
You deserve that and you shouldsucceed beyond your wildest
(38:27):
hopes and expectations until youget bored and get back to work
on your passion, because passionis mission, is substance, is
who you are, is power.
That's passion.
(38:52):
Last night you got a textmessage in the middle of the
night from a friendlyacquaintance, someone who you've
always liked but don't reallyknow that well.
You think pretty well of thisperson based on the limited
information that you have, andyou've always had the feeling
(39:14):
that if you've got to know thema little bit better, you might
think even more highly of them.
You already know that you havea lot in common with this person
and your suspicion has alwaysbeen along the lines that if you
hung out you could be goodfriends.
You're not all that tight rightnow.
(39:38):
You wouldn't call this personyour friend, because that would
make it weird if they didn'tthink of you as a friend, which
they very well may not, becauseyou just don't know each other
that well.
But you did exchange phonenumbers and sometimes you send
(40:00):
wacky texts back and forth andyou got one in the middle of the
night from this person that wasnot wacky, or at least you
don't think it was.
That was not wacky, or at leastyou don't think it was.
That was not the intention.
The text read as follows I'm inthe hospital.
(40:26):
Might not make it out.
You texted back a question markand an exclamation point and
you wanted to press for moreinformation.
You haven't heard back.
(40:48):
It's been a number of hours.
You're very curious.
A number of hours, you're verycurious.
You would like to know a lotmore about the context for this.
But you're biding your timebecause you know that this isn't
about you and you don't want tobe a pest by pestering and
(41:13):
prying for information fromsomeone who obviously has bigger
problems and a lot more goingon and appears to be in poor
health.
That's usually why people go tothe hospital Safe assumption,
(41:41):
especially if they're notplanning on clocking out and
you're not feeling so greatyourself.
Right now there's a tightnessin your chest.
There's a tightness in yourchest.
There's a rumbling in yourstomach, and that's not excited
(42:03):
anticipation for eating later.
It's indigestion, becauseyou've already had a big sloppy
breakfast and now it is notsitting well and you wish that
you'd taken the time to tellyour friendly acquaintance that
(42:28):
you loved them.
Yes, it could have made it weird.
They might have not known whatto do with that.
They might have thought thatyou were expressing toxic,
limerent attachment, which isoften what passes for love in
(42:51):
our popular entertainment andour popular entertainment.
And you might have to qualifythat and let them know that you
love them in the most grown-upway possible.
You admire their good qualities, you accept their totality,
(43:12):
their duality, theirmultiplicity, and you hope that
(43:32):
this person loves the hospital,that they're staying by choice
or that, even if they can'tcheck out anytime they like and
can never leave, it is some kindof paradise.
(44:00):
Schopenhauer says A man can behimself only so long as he is
alone, which is nicer than thethings he says about women, and
he's not wrong.
You need to learn to becomfortable alone, and having
friends does make you a sellout.
The thing is, your real selfprobably sucks.
We are who we are in relationto others.
Otherwise we go feral.
That's why solitary confinementis torture.
(44:20):
While I'm sure some people lovesolitary confinement, some
people drink Jägermeister onpurpose.
I don't kink shame.
Some people are horrifying.
Baseline honesty is a learnedskill or lying is an unlearned
skill.
I'm still working on it.
The trick is to be selective.
You can fit more people in yourheart with fewer people on your
dance call.
(44:40):
If you don't have any goodfriends, start small.
Take an interpersonal risk.
You might make a new friendwho's just as self-absorbed as
you are.
Good luck out there.
Good luck out there.
It's almost over.
You know that the end is coming.
(45:03):
It's been coming for a whileand now it's almost here and
you're freaking the hell out,which is understandable.
You are having a rotatingseries of fight, flight, freeze
reactions and right now you'rein flight.
(45:28):
You want to travel light, youwant to make a run for it, want
to travel light, you want tomake a run for it and you want
to get rid of all of your stuffso that you can be stealthy and
move quickly and efficiently andnot waste a lot of time or
(45:52):
energy Because you've beenworking out out.
You don't need the exercise oftoting around a bunch of stuff
that you're not gonna needanymore, but you don't like the
idea of just throwing it all inthe garbage or leaving it in the
alley.
So you try to give away as muchof your stuff as you can and
(46:17):
you offer it to people and theother good thing about this is
it gives you an opportunity toconnect and do a little bit of
bonding before the end.
While you have the opportunityand you've known for a while
(46:39):
that you really have nothing tolose and if there's anything you
want to do, you knew that thetime to do it was now.
So you tried some lifestyleexperiments.
You did a lot of online dating,which was mostly horrifying,
(47:08):
but you got some good storiesout of it stories out of it and
you recorded them on stonetablets in case another
civilization comes along anddoes their own archaeology and
(47:30):
will learn from the lessons thatyou impart will learn from the
lessons that you impart.
You also did a whole lot ofdrugs pretty much all of them.
That was fun, the highs werehigh and the crashes were hard,
(47:55):
and you learned a lot from allof those moments and that whole
experience, and you also reallyput your mind to it and focused
until you were able to growgills.
Grow gills which allowed you tolive part time in the ocean,
(48:21):
underwater, and you met a lot ofcool creatures there.
But it would be a bit of astretch to say that you made a
lot of friends because youdidn't learn the language
(48:44):
beforehand.
You were hoping to just learnit through immersion, but you
didn't really know how tocommunicate.
You were just way out of yourcomfort zone Underwater and so
(49:04):
you don't really know any ofthose creatures that you met.
You don't really have a supportsystem in the ocean.
None of them want what you'regiving away.
They have no use for it and youfeel a little bit bad and
(49:28):
ashamed because you have someissues with communication and
making friends, some issues withcommunication and making
friends, and you hope that theoctopuses and dolphins can at
least perceive your generosityand intelligence and giving
(49:55):
golden spirit.
(50:16):
Hi, I was wrong and I'm sorry.
I was biased.
I had bad information.
I believed what I wanted tobelieve.
You corrected me.
You were classy about it.
I doubled down.
I'm not wrong every time.
I was wrong this time, I'msorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
This was a rookie mistake and aone-time occurrence and I
(50:36):
assure you it will not happenagain.
I'm glad we had this talk.
You've been listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes on
K-Chung.
Getting near the end, it'salmost over.
Let's go back to the breath.
(50:56):
There's a lot of excitement forthe new year, for everything
you've got going on, all of thethings you're going to do with
the work ethic that you've honedand the confidence that you've
developed and you're prepared tomeet your opportunities.
(51:21):
You're going to keep doing thework and get even more prepared,
because the more prepared youare, the more opportunities you
become privy to.
But it's important to take amoment when the opportunity
presents itself, to relax, tosoften and breathe.
(51:43):
Settle down, spine straight,but not too straight, eyes
closed or open if you want toget really good at confronting
the world head on witheverything that you've learned
(52:03):
in the process of relaxing.
It's pretty intense.
You can close your eyes if youwant.
Everybody else's eyes areclosed, so nobody's gonna see
either way.
So nobody's gonna see Eitherway.
(52:24):
You can wipe your nose if youneed to.
We're all friends here.
Relax and soften your foreheaddown into your muscles around
your eyes, your jaw, your face,your neck, down your chest and
your torso, into your groin area, your thighs and all the way
down to your feet, and exploreyour body.
(52:47):
Just make yourself at home.
All the departments, the hiddenplaces, explore, inquire, be
curious.
If you encounter something youdon't understand, let it in,
(53:13):
accept it and think about.
What does this actually feellike?
Not just good or bad, but howwould I describe this?
How am I perceiving this?
What about it is something thatcan't be done justice by just
(53:35):
language, and certainly notjudgment.
And be there with that and keeplooking around until you find
(54:03):
somewhere that place of safety,comfort and pleasure and just
absorb that feeling.
And when you're nice andcomfortable you can change the
(54:25):
subject and think about whatmakes you feel helpless, anxious
, angry, threatened.
Let all of that in.
Feel the anger.
It's kind of a pain in the assjust being alive right now.
(54:47):
We take a lot of psychic damagejust getting through the day.
So feel that.
Where is that in your body?
Is it a tightening of thethroat?
Is it pain in the gut?
The intestine?
Recognize that.
Sit with that, allow it, get toknow it.
(55:09):
Get to know it by its qualities, not just as a friend or foe.
Get to know its experience andcare for it as much as you can,
or at least just accept it andlet it in and know its name and
(55:36):
hang out there for as long asyou can and if it gets to be too
much more than you cancomfortably handle or you need a
break, go back to the happy,chill, chill-out room place in
your body where you were beforeand then just go back and forth
(56:03):
between those places, togglebetween the frustration and the
anger and the pain and the peaceand the shot-calling and
big-balling that happens in theplace within you that feels
(56:23):
comfortable, that feels likehome, like you belong there.
There's a lot of love comingyour way in 2023.
Even if it doesn't feel thatway, it's coming, it's here,
(56:47):
it's everywhere.
You're breathing it in and outall the time.
Maybe you need a big hit oflove.
There's that show 10% Happier.
The meditation podcast with DanHarris and the Buddhist teacher
(57:13):
Noah Levine, who works a lotwith addicts and people with
substance abuse issues andpeople who are kind of on the
edge, at one point said yeah,10% happier is not going to work
for a lot of the people thatcome to me.
They need something strongerthan that and maybe that's the
(57:37):
case, something stronger thanthat, and maybe that's the case.
Maybe just the ambient lovethat's anywhere and everywhere
and accessible at all times doesnot feel sufficient to what you
need right now to feel good,safe and okay.
But there's love coming yourway and if you look around,
(58:05):
there's love out there for thegetting.
It might not be in the firstplace you look, and when it
comes to you it may not comethrough the channels that you
expected.
So don't be surprised if itfinds a creative, perhaps
(58:29):
prankish, way to present itselfto you, because that's what it
does.
It's not all nice, it's alsoplayful and teasing and loves
push-pull and polarity andsometimes plays games.
(58:51):
That can be fun.
Game playing gets a bad rap,but it's part of the joy of life
.
Sometimes, if you do it welland give everyone the utmost
(59:12):
respect which is the least thatyou owe them, which is the least
that you owe them you can getgood at that kind of playfulness
and be one of the top five inyour metro area by some metrics.
And sometimes the play getsrough, sometimes somebody gets
(59:39):
hurt.
You can always come back toyour breath.
That is always a safe place toland.
You've been listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
Music is by Visions of theUniverse.
(01:00:01):
Everything else is by me.
I'm entirely responsible forthe content of the show.
Levity saves lives.
I am the producer.
But Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes is a production of
K-Chung, los Angeles 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
(01:00:23):
Don't forget to breathe.
That is your portal to yourconscious, your unconscious and
your unstoppable confidence.
At first I thought this wasseriously a setup.
(01:00:54):
She seemed really into it and Ithought maybe she loved taking
my discipline and also was usingsex for power.
I don't know if that blew mymind, but it blew.
Simple, steamy, dreamy and waytoo hot for radio.
Crimson Transgressions Abite-sized erotic thriller by
Emerson Dameron.
Find it before it finds you.
You love tough times because you've got confidence.
You're in love with yourself.
You're the best lover you'veever had and they can't take
that away from you like yourWikipedia page.
By day, you're grounded,comfortable in your stillness.
By night, you jack it likenobody's watching.
You know how to let go and takeout the garbage.
It's bad for the environment,but that's not your problem.
You'd rather connect withothers than compare yourself
(00:22):
with them, so you don't judge,even if they're bad at
masturbation.
You know your potential.
You master your practice.
You conquered a small islandnation during no Nut November.
You hunt and kill your own foodand if you don't catch anything
, you eat your own sweaters likea moth.
You will save us all.
You will get off on doing itbecause you've got unstoppable
confidence.
(00:43):
Off on doing it because you'vegot unstoppable confidence.
K-chung, los Angeles, 1630 AM.
Worldwide on the World Wide Webat kchungradioorg.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes, a production
of K-Chung produced by EmersonDameron Music.
(01:03):
On this episode by Visions ofthe Universe,
medicated-minutecom.
Levity saves lives.
Let's take a moment and breathe.
It's 2023, just getting started.
(01:27):
That's very exciting.
Well, you might be hoping for aboring year.
We haven't had one of those ina while there's the old Chinese
blessing may you live in boringtimes.
Most of us have not had theopportunity to experience that.
Maybe you want to be bored.
Maybe that was the promise ofthe Biden years.
(01:53):
Nevertheless, if things do getexciting or even a little bit
gnarly, be on the lookout forinteresting coincidences,
synchronicities.
There are a lot of oddcoincidences involving the
(02:14):
number 23.
It's the 23 enigma, which isthe subject of a very bad film.
So be ready for that.
Be prepared for theopportunities that will present
themselves, and one way you cando that is to breathe.
(02:35):
Your breath might be the coolestthing that you have.
It's better than a rose goldiPhone.
Your breath is your life force.
It's the first thing you didwhen you were born.
It's the last thing you'regonna do when you die.
(02:55):
You do it all day.
You do it when you're sleeping.
You do it when you're awake.
You do it when you're thinkingabout other things, because
ideally it takes care of itself,much like a cat.
You have to attend to itsometimes, but it mostly is
(03:16):
capable of minding its ownbusiness and it's free.
For now, you can breatheanywhere you want.
It's socially acceptable underalmost any conditions, anywhere,
anytime.
The breath is yours.
They can't take it away fromyou, except under very unusual
(03:41):
and probably unpleasantcircumstances very unusual and
probably unpleasantcircumstances.
You can travel and take yourbreath on board the airplane for
free.
You don't have to check it.
You can keep it with you.
You don't lose it, exceptsometimes you do and that can be
(04:09):
a problem.
But you can always get it back,and you have to because it's
mandatory.
You've got to keep breathing tostay alive and to do most other
things.
It's the thing that all of thesystems in your body rely on,
more than anything else, andthey don't work properly unless
(04:31):
you're breathing, and breathingon a regular basis.
And everything works a lotbetter if you're breathing well.
And you can do that because youcan control your breath.
It is mandatory and it'sreflexive, but you also have a
(04:51):
lot of authority over how youbreathe and choose to breathe,
and you can transform your stateand your experience of the
world and the way that otherpeople experience you by
deepening your breath.
Usually that's the directionthat you want to go.
(05:13):
Most people are shallowbreathers because there's just
way too much going on and it's alot and it's disorienting and
confusing and sometimes weforget to breathe.
And then, when we remember,sometimes we breathe in a
shallow way, which I suppose hassome advantages.
(05:33):
There are some people thathyperventilate for fun, which we
will also get into but ideallyyou want to deepen it, and if
you deepen your breath andbreathe all the way down into
your belly, you can transformyour state.
You can send signals to thestubborn and not too bright
(05:55):
parts of yourself that need alittle bit of extra
encouragement to chill out andget in the game.
You can get into the crevices,you can clear out the dust and
you can thrive rather than justsurviving, unless your
(06:20):
circumstances are highly unusual.
There's the possibility for youto thrive, should you take it,
and your breath is a portal tothat.
Shallow.
Breathing is all about survival.
You're on the run, you'rehypervigilant for threats,
(06:41):
you're nervous.
Maybe you don't feel greatabout yourself.
You're nervous, maybe you don'tfeel great about yourself.
(07:04):
Diaphragmatic breathing deepbreathing is for thriving and
enjoying yourself and bawlingand having sex and making love
and and working out and relaxing, and sometimes some people want
to breathe shallowly.
There's something calledholotropic breath work, which is
basically controlledhyperventilating.
It was devised by thepsychedelic psychologist
Stanislav Grof, who used to giveLSD to groups of people and the
(07:30):
government got involved anddidn't like it and tried to take
the fun out of it.
But Grof was not going out likethat, so he started having
groups of people hyperventilateand that can be, if nothing else
, a good excuse to scream andcry in a large group of people.
(07:54):
Some people say that they havehallucinations and psychedelic
experiences.
You might, if you don't go intoit expecting too much.
As of many things, I thinkbreathing is at least one of the
(08:14):
top five human activities bycertain metrics, and if you get
really good at it, you will putyourself in the top five for
relaxing, working out, havingsex, making love by certain
metrics, and all you have to dois get good at breathing.
(08:37):
Breathing represents all of theinteresting polarities in life,
where we attract things thatare like in some ways, but also
opposite in some crucial ways.
The like brings comfort, whichallows us to allow in the
tension of the opposites.
(08:59):
It's life and death, beginningand end, masculine and feminine,
in and out, and anyone can doit.
It's the first thing you everdid.
It doesn't take much to make ithappen.
It takes a lifetime to master,which is cool.
(09:24):
It gives you something to focuson, something to do, something
to come back to a soft place toland.
So remember to breathe.
Start the day out with somebreathing, deepen the breathing,
slow down.
Almost anything gets nicer whenyou slow it way down and
(09:49):
breathe.
This is Emerson Dameron'sMedicated Minutes, one of the
top five shows in the LosAngeles market by certain
metrics.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
I'm the producer, director,writer, talent host, the guy.
(10:12):
Music is by Visions of theUniverse.
Everything else is by me.
I'm entirely responsible.
Levity saves lives.
You're on K-Chung 1630 AM,kchungradioorg, and we're
(10:32):
breathing and it feels really,really good to be present here,
the only place to be presenthere, the only place to be.
Men are in trouble, we'relonely, we can't get jobs we
(10:57):
hate and we can't stop killingourselves.
We need new ideas and newleadership, and that's why I'm
here.
First of all, don't try todominate anything if you don't
know what the hell you're doing.
Feel your feelings, even thegnarly ones.
Vulnerability is strength,which sounds paradoxical because
nothing has made sense in along time.
Get with the program.
Don't try to be nice if it'sinauthentic.
(11:20):
That makes you resentful,passive-aggressive and mediocre,
which is worse than being eviland not sexy.
Go with the flow, but don't getwashed away into chaos.
There's no lifeguard.
They cut the budget for that.
Go beyond good and evil,transcend and include Seduce
like a flow boy and dominatelike a hot douchebag.
(11:41):
Be an artist, a scientist and awarrior and take all those tax
deductions, practice the art ofpatience and hurry up.
The apocalypse is coming and youdon't want to miss it.
This is just to let you knowthat you are okay, you're good,
(12:06):
you're perfectly imperfect, justthe way you are, and you can
always be better, because it'salways both.
But your big challenge rightnow is to yourself and accept
things as they are in thismoment, which is the only moment
(12:29):
that matters, because it's theonly moment where anything is
happening.
You're loving, you're loved,you're gonna be okay.
You're freaking the hell outright now and I'm not entirely
sure why, and I'm gonna keepyelling at you until you calm
(12:50):
down and accept yourself andaccept the world and accept your
fate and take control of yourfate to the extent that you can.
But there are things that youcannot change.
But you can give your gifts andbe generous.
(13:17):
By offering all of the goldengreatness that is deep within
your heart and soul, you willbring love and abundance into
your life beyond anything youcan imagine right now.
Everything that you wanted whenyou were younger and thought
(13:38):
that you would never have willcome in torrents.
You'll be surrounded bywell-wishers and people trying
to take advantage of you, and itwill be hard to know the
difference.
You will get filthy, richbeyond your wildest imagination
(14:02):
and your lifestyle will adjustto meet that line, to match up
with that new reality.
You'll start buying a lot ofnice cars and eventually a big
old mansion on Manhattan Beachand you'll have parties there
(14:29):
and you'll invite people, someof them you don't really know.
Eventually you'll invitesomebody that acts like they're
having a good time, when inreality they're casing the joint
.
And a couple of weeks lateryour mansion will be stormed by
(14:53):
gangsters with guns and skimasks and they will take you
hostage.
And when that happens, yourchallenge is to accept it.
In this moment, this is what'shappening.
Stay calm.
(15:13):
That will freak them out.
They will leave.
They'll let you go.
They might grab some cash.
If you have loose bags ofcocaine or other drugs on the
premises, they might leave withthose.
And then you'll have to dealwith being alone again and the
(15:42):
loneliness that comes when theparty's over and everyone leaves
and that loneliness may just bethe biggest problem in the
world right now.
And your challenge is to acceptthat and call up a friend, call
(16:06):
up someone who has been apositive influence in your life
and say thank you, give themsome regard.
And if you don't have anyfriends which is entirely
possible, which is entirelypossible it's hard to maintain
friendships as an adult,especially if you don't know who
(16:33):
you can trust.
Befriend someone, take oneinterpersonal risk per day.
Make a friendly acquaintanceand accept them.
Accept them for who they areand, who knows, you might make a
friend who's just asself-absorbed as you are.
(17:00):
The trick is to connect, butdon't compare.
Comparing yourself to what yousee of other people is the
quickest route toself-recrimination, sadness and
aloneness and barking madness.
(17:20):
And also, most people aren'tgoing to measure up to you.
So what's the point incomparing?
You're one of the top five inthe world at whatever it is you
do.
And I don't mean your job, Idon't mean your hobbies, your
vocation and avocation.
(17:41):
I mean vocation and avocation.
I mean you're one of the topfive in the world at whatever it
is that you're doing at thatgiven time.
People admire you.
Some of them are afraid to letyou know.
They're afraid to let it show.
(18:02):
A lot of people have wanted tobe you or wanted to sleep with
you over the years, but theywere afraid to take their shot.
They were afraid that if theyasked if you wanted to get down
(18:24):
or if they tried to emulate you,that might make it weird, and
they didn't want to lose yourfriendship.
And friendship is what reallymatters.
It's the only true currency inthe world which will end, and
(18:46):
you'll be one of the peoplewho's around to watch the whole
thing go down you and yourfriends, and you will have the
deepest, most moving, mostinsightful things to say about
it, and people will want to bearound to hear what you have to
(19:12):
say.
When you die, you will not bemourned because you will die at
the same moment that everyoneelse dies.
You will be around for the endof the world.
Your family will save money onfuneral expenses.
(19:37):
You'll get to throw down withall of your friends and have a
good time right up until thefiery end or the icy end.
(19:58):
It could go either way.
According to the poet RobertFrost, it's ridiculous that you
would ever not think highly ofyourself.
It's good that you have a senseof humor about yourself.
(20:22):
That has made you strong.
It's thickened your skin.
Self-mockery is indeed thefoundation of an inconquerable
ego, as the writer Jeff Coyensaid, but at the same time,
which is now, which is in thefuture, from all of that you
(20:51):
don't even need a sense of humoranymore.
Self-deprecation does notbecome you.
You're the best and you've gotserious work to do, because
things are happening in thismoment, which is the only place
that things are happening, andthe only thing that's happening
(21:14):
is impermanence.
So it is time.
It is time to put your plan inmotion.
Show us what you got.
We gotta know we love you, youare loved, you are loving, you
(21:44):
are and always were and alwayswill be okay.
So accept that, for all of yourvirtues, you're alarmingly
(22:12):
ignorant about many things.
One of those things is you.
You don't know your ownstrength, and that makes
everyone around you miserable.
You can't always feel good, butyou don't have to feel bad
about feeling bad.
Nevertheless, just as a thoughtexperiment, see what happens
when you take responsibility foryour experience.
There's a fine line betweenanxiety and excitement.
(22:32):
So suffer on purpose Instead ofalienating everyone.
Torture them Intentionally,exquisitely.
Become lucid in the wakingdream of your life.
Enjoy the complimentarycontinental breakfast.
Keep your power, know your ownstrength.
A sex worker falls in love withher client.
(22:53):
This qualifies as a man bitesdog story, because it's
something that very rarelyhappens.
If you hire a sex workerexpecting this or hoping for
this, or thinking that you're socharming that this is going to
(23:13):
happen, it's definitely notgoing to happen for you, but
that's not to say that it neverhappens, and in this case it
happened.
She fell in love deeply andprofoundly, more so than she'd
ever experienced in the past,and we're talking about a
(23:39):
straight woman sex worker and astraight male client, which is
heteronormative.
But keep in mind, someidentifying details have been
changed.
Some identifying details havebeen changed.
(23:59):
He's married, which complicatesthings and creates a lot of
stress, but there's a fine linebetween anxiety and excitement,
especially where taboo subjectmatter is concerned.
And indeed they have wild,passionate, mutually degrading
but at the same time, veryloving, caring sex on the
(24:21):
regular.
He's spending a lot of money onthis and it is not an exclusive
relationship on either sideexclusive relationship on either
side.
He also has a lot of affairsgoing on and he's an MBA and a
(24:41):
manager by trade, so he is adeptat project management but
nevertheless, when feelings getinvolved, all bets are off and
at one point he freaks out.
All bets are off and at onepoint he freaks out, tries to
save his marriage and they don'tsee each other for a while and
she gets on with her life.
After a few months he getsbored and frustrated and comes
(25:20):
back to her and the patternrepeats over the course of a
year and change and his affairsget more expensive and stressful
and he's running up a lot ofdebt that he can't really afford
.
It's starting to encroach ontohis work and the rest of his
life, which is basicallysleeping because most of his
life is work or affairs.
And this keeps going until hebecomes very self-conscious
(25:48):
about his pattern of destruction.
But he also realizes that he isin turn catching feelings.
For the sex worker it startedearly on in the business
arrangement and he didn't wantto accept that, because it's not
(26:09):
something that doesn't end intears most of the time.
But after a while it becameundeniable that the sex was
really good, which means thatthey could let their guard down
enough to give each other a tourof the darkest corners of their
(26:31):
psyches, and they just enjoyedeach other, a tour of the
darkest corners of their psyches, and they just enjoyed each
other's company.
But it was getting reallystressful and didn't seem
sustainable the way it was going.
So they devised a system beforethey have sex, he pays her the
(26:57):
asking price plus a little bit,which is the tip.
Because it's America, they havesex.
It's usually up to him howthings go because that's part of
the deal.
But sometimes what he wants isfor her to take charge, which
(27:22):
he's happy to do, and there's alot of variety.
And then the sex after theyboth come, depending on how good
it was, how brutal, howpassionate, how enjoyable.
She pays him and thus,incentivized, he gets more and
(27:51):
more curious about herexperience.
He does some research, he getsbetter and better and better at
sex.
As they get more and morecomfortable with each other, his
other affairs kind of taper offand he can focus more on this
connection, this relationship,or on this connection, this
(28:14):
relationship, and after a whilehe's in the black.
He's made all his money backand then some he's thinking
about quitting his job andstarting his own business and
(28:36):
probably getting a divorce,although that's easier said than
done, Although it would be theright thing to do, if not the
easy thing, because it's reallyjust eating his soul alive, and
that's really just eating hissoul alive and that's not
sustainable.
(28:58):
For many years you put your headdown, you honed your work ethic
, you made yourself boring, andnow it's time to have fun, which
kind of feels like anotherresponsibility, because you're
not sure how to do it.
You're not sure when was thelast time you had fun.
(29:19):
You're not sure if you've everhad fun, but your friends have
your back.
They've planned you a funbirthday celebration at the
Cheesecake Factory, which isyour favorite restaurant,
because it's the best restaurantto celebrate the success that
you've developed throughself-discipline and the
(29:43):
ass-clenched stoicism thatyou've honed to an art over the
last few years as you've takencontrol of your life, the
control that you did not havefor many years prior to that.
But it's been a new epoch.
It's your birthday.
It's time to celebrate.
(30:03):
You showed up to the CheesecakeFactory a little bit late, just
sailing on San Pedro and LSD,you ordered a thousand bucks
worth of food with the moneythat you'd saved up, which is
(30:25):
about 70 grand.
So you barely noticed it.
And what's the point of havingmoney if you can't enjoy
spending it.
Hoarding money is one of thebiggest problems in the world,
along with loneliness.
So you got a lot of food, alittle bit of everything, from
(30:49):
all over the menu.
You ate some of it enough toget satiated and satisfied and
you let everybody else eat asmuch food as they wanted.
You offered up the remainder ofyour food to the group and most
(31:12):
of them weren't hungry anymore.
So it was time for a good,old-fashioned food fight.
At first, no one else wasreally on board with this.
You used to have some wildfriends, but since you took
control of your life they've allkind of fallen away and most of
(31:34):
your friends now are prettybuttoned down and conservative
and no one was really excitedabout having a food fight.
But it was your birthday, whichcomes but once a year, and if
you're a Satanist it's theholiest day on the calendar, and
(32:00):
some of your friends areSatanists.
So they decided to humor youand things got buck.
Wild Food was flying.
The staff got involved.
They tried to break it up, butone of them got decked with a
(32:21):
key lime pie and it was on,gathered into clans and there
was a war at the CheesecakeFactory.
It was a food war.
The food fight turned into abattle, which turned into a war,
(32:45):
and you showed them how to live.
If you want to thrive or evensurvive in the world, you've got
to learn how to communicate,step one listen to what people
say and repeat it back to them.
Eventually, they'll get boredand leave you alone.
Rather than getting reactive ordefensive or casting aspersions
(33:07):
, simply describe your feelingsabout the events, especially if
those feelings include anger, inwhich case you can throw in
some full-contact interpretivedance.
To get to the truth of anotherperson's experience, use the
magic words what do you needright now?
Find their frightened, woundedinner child and give it a toy
(33:29):
that makes noise.
Ask for what you need.
That's your only hope of evergetting it.
Ask for what you need that'syour only hope of ever getting
it.
Most people aren't mind readers, and the ones who are stay far
away from you.
Just remember you can't alwaysget what you want.
Some people don't like you ordon't pay attention, but you can
avoid dying alone in the desert.
(33:50):
You're good, except for the factthat you haven't accepted
yourself.
You look to other people foracceptance as well as
suggestions.
Have boundaries and enforcethem, which is harder than just
having them if you look to otherpeople not just for approval
(34:27):
but for plans of things to doand ways to figure out who
you're supposed to be, it's hardfor them to trust you and it's
hard to have real solidrelationships, connections and
(34:52):
collaborations that bear fruit.
So relationships, friendshipsdefinitely important, but what
you really need in your life isa mission, a passion, an
obsessive, maddening,all-consuming, all-in, devouring
(35:21):
.
Passion Could be a passionproject, not a passion for
another person.
You need something morereliable.
(35:45):
Getting attached to the wayother people are behaving is
like getting upset about theweather.
Is like getting upset about theweather.
You have to get upset about howyou're feeling and then do
something about it and get backon your mission and pursue your
(36:09):
passion.
People won't trust you unlessyou have something going on in
your life that keeps you way toobusy to hang out with them.
And if you don't have a passion, get one.
Get a three-card tarot reading.
(36:30):
Throw the I Ching, pick one.
Open the dictionary, run yourfinger down the one.
Open the dictionary, run yourfinger down the page, open your
eyes.
That's your passion.
You gotta start somewhere,otherwise there's no passion in
your life.
And people can smell passionand most people are into that
(36:55):
smell and if they can't smellpassion on you, it's hard for
them to trust you Because you'renot well-defined.
When you pick your passion,think big, bigger than that Real
(37:21):
big.
Otherwise go home.
Actually, don't go home untilyou've claimed your passion and
then take your passion home, butnot for long, dangerous
(38:06):
explosions.
It should attract fans.
You should be rewarded by aloyal audience.
Your passion should beremunerative.
You deserve that and you shouldsucceed beyond your wildest
(38:27):
hopes and expectations until youget bored and get back to work
on your passion, because passionis mission, is substance, is
who you are, is power.
That's passion.
(38:52):
Last night you got a textmessage in the middle of the
night from a friendlyacquaintance, someone who you've
always liked but don't reallyknow that well.
You think pretty well of thisperson based on the limited
information that you have, andyou've always had the feeling
(39:14):
that if you've got to know thema little bit better, you might
think even more highly of them.
You already know that you havea lot in common with this person
and your suspicion has alwaysbeen along the lines that if you
hung out you could be goodfriends.
You're not all that tight rightnow.
(39:38):
You wouldn't call this personyour friend, because that would
make it weird if they didn'tthink of you as a friend, which
they very well may not, becauseyou just don't know each other
that well.
But you did exchange phonenumbers and sometimes you send
(40:00):
wacky texts back and forth andyou got one in the middle of the
night from this person that wasnot wacky, or at least you
don't think it was.
That was not wacky, or at leastyou don't think it was.
That was not the intention.
The text read as follows I'm inthe hospital.
(40:26):
Might not make it out.
You texted back a question markand an exclamation point and
you wanted to press for moreinformation.
You haven't heard back.
(40:48):
It's been a number of hours.
You're very curious.
A number of hours, you're verycurious.
You would like to know a lotmore about the context for this.
But you're biding your timebecause you know that this isn't
about you and you don't want tobe a pest by pestering and
(41:13):
prying for information fromsomeone who obviously has bigger
problems and a lot more goingon and appears to be in poor
health.
That's usually why people go tothe hospital Safe assumption,
(41:41):
especially if they're notplanning on clocking out and
you're not feeling so greatyourself.
Right now there's a tightnessin your chest.
There's a tightness in yourchest.
There's a rumbling in yourstomach, and that's not excited
(42:03):
anticipation for eating later.
It's indigestion, becauseyou've already had a big sloppy
breakfast and now it is notsitting well and you wish that
you'd taken the time to tellyour friendly acquaintance that
(42:28):
you loved them.
Yes, it could have made it weird.
They might have not known whatto do with that.
They might have thought thatyou were expressing toxic,
limerent attachment, which isoften what passes for love in
(42:51):
our popular entertainment andour popular entertainment.
And you might have to qualifythat and let them know that you
love them in the most grown-upway possible.
You admire their good qualities, you accept their totality,
(43:12):
their duality, theirmultiplicity, and you hope that
(43:32):
this person loves the hospital,that they're staying by choice
or that, even if they can'tcheck out anytime they like and
can never leave, it is some kindof paradise.
(44:00):
Schopenhauer says A man can behimself only so long as he is
alone, which is nicer than thethings he says about women, and
he's not wrong.
You need to learn to becomfortable alone, and having
friends does make you a sellout.
The thing is, your real selfprobably sucks.
We are who we are in relationto others.
Otherwise we go feral.
That's why solitary confinementis torture.
(44:20):
While I'm sure some people lovesolitary confinement, some
people drink Jägermeister onpurpose.
I don't kink shame.
Some people are horrifying.
Baseline honesty is a learnedskill or lying is an unlearned
skill.
I'm still working on it.
The trick is to be selective.
You can fit more people in yourheart with fewer people on your
dance call.
(44:40):
If you don't have any goodfriends, start small.
Take an interpersonal risk.
You might make a new friendwho's just as self-absorbed as
you are.
Good luck out there.
Good luck out there.
It's almost over.
You know that the end is coming.
(45:03):
It's been coming for a whileand now it's almost here and
you're freaking the hell out,which is understandable.
You are having a rotatingseries of fight, flight, freeze
reactions and right now you'rein flight.
(45:28):
You want to travel light, youwant to make a run for it, want
to travel light, you want tomake a run for it and you want
to get rid of all of your stuffso that you can be stealthy and
move quickly and efficiently andnot waste a lot of time or
(45:52):
energy Because you've beenworking out out.
You don't need the exercise oftoting around a bunch of stuff
that you're not gonna needanymore, but you don't like the
idea of just throwing it all inthe garbage or leaving it in the
alley.
So you try to give away as muchof your stuff as you can and
(46:17):
you offer it to people and theother good thing about this is
it gives you an opportunity toconnect and do a little bit of
bonding before the end.
While you have the opportunityand you've known for a while
(46:39):
that you really have nothing tolose and if there's anything you
want to do, you knew that thetime to do it was now.
So you tried some lifestyleexperiments.
You did a lot of online dating,which was mostly horrifying,
(47:08):
but you got some good storiesout of it stories out of it and
you recorded them on stonetablets in case another
civilization comes along anddoes their own archaeology and
(47:30):
will learn from the lessons thatyou impart will learn from the
lessons that you impart.
You also did a whole lot ofdrugs pretty much all of them.
That was fun, the highs werehigh and the crashes were hard,
(47:55):
and you learned a lot from allof those moments and that whole
experience, and you also reallyput your mind to it and focused
until you were able to growgills.
Grow gills which allowed you tolive part time in the ocean,
(48:21):
underwater, and you met a lot ofcool creatures there.
But it would be a bit of astretch to say that you made a
lot of friends because youdidn't learn the language
(48:44):
beforehand.
You were hoping to just learnit through immersion, but you
didn't really know how tocommunicate.
You were just way out of yourcomfort zone Underwater and so
(49:04):
you don't really know any ofthose creatures that you met.
You don't really have a supportsystem in the ocean.
None of them want what you'regiving away.
They have no use for it and youfeel a little bit bad and
(49:28):
ashamed because you have someissues with communication and
making friends, some issues withcommunication and making
friends, and you hope that theoctopuses and dolphins can at
least perceive your generosityand intelligence and giving
(49:55):
golden spirit.
(50:16):
Hi, I was wrong and I'm sorry.
I was biased.
I had bad information.
I believed what I wanted tobelieve.
You corrected me.
You were classy about it.
I doubled down.
I'm not wrong every time.
I was wrong this time, I'msorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you, I love you.
This was a rookie mistake and aone-time occurrence and I
(50:36):
assure you it will not happenagain.
I'm glad we had this talk.
You've been listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes on
K-Chung.
Getting near the end, it'salmost over.
Let's go back to the breath.
(50:56):
There's a lot of excitement forthe new year, for everything
you've got going on, all of thethings you're going to do with
the work ethic that you've honedand the confidence that you've
developed and you're prepared tomeet your opportunities.
(51:21):
You're going to keep doing thework and get even more prepared,
because the more prepared youare, the more opportunities you
become privy to.
But it's important to take amoment when the opportunity
presents itself, to relax, tosoften and breathe.
(51:43):
Settle down, spine straight,but not too straight, eyes
closed or open if you want toget really good at confronting
the world head on witheverything that you've learned
(52:03):
in the process of relaxing.
It's pretty intense.
You can close your eyes if youwant.
Everybody else's eyes areclosed, so nobody's gonna see
either way.
So nobody's gonna see Eitherway.
(52:24):
You can wipe your nose if youneed to.
We're all friends here.
Relax and soften your foreheaddown into your muscles around
your eyes, your jaw, your face,your neck, down your chest and
your torso, into your groin area, your thighs and all the way
down to your feet, and exploreyour body.
(52:47):
Just make yourself at home.
All the departments, the hiddenplaces, explore, inquire, be
curious.
If you encounter something youdon't understand, let it in,
(53:13):
accept it and think about.
What does this actually feellike?
Not just good or bad, but howwould I describe this?
How am I perceiving this?
What about it is something thatcan't be done justice by just
(53:35):
language, and certainly notjudgment.
And be there with that and keeplooking around until you find
(54:03):
somewhere that place of safety,comfort and pleasure and just
absorb that feeling.
And when you're nice andcomfortable you can change the
(54:25):
subject and think about whatmakes you feel helpless, anxious
, angry, threatened.
Let all of that in.
Feel the anger.
It's kind of a pain in the assjust being alive right now.
(54:47):
We take a lot of psychic damagejust getting through the day.
So feel that.
Where is that in your body?
Is it a tightening of thethroat?
Is it pain in the gut?
The intestine?
Recognize that.
Sit with that, allow it, get toknow it.
(55:09):
Get to know it by its qualities, not just as a friend or foe.
Get to know its experience andcare for it as much as you can,
or at least just accept it andlet it in and know its name and
(55:36):
hang out there for as long asyou can and if it gets to be too
much more than you cancomfortably handle or you need a
break, go back to the happy,chill, chill-out room place in
your body where you were beforeand then just go back and forth
(56:03):
between those places, togglebetween the frustration and the
anger and the pain and the peaceand the shot-calling and
big-balling that happens in theplace within you that feels
(56:23):
comfortable, that feels likehome, like you belong there.
There's a lot of love comingyour way in 2023.
Even if it doesn't feel thatway, it's coming, it's here,
(56:47):
it's everywhere.
You're breathing it in and outall the time.
Maybe you need a big hit oflove.
There's that show 10% Happier.
The meditation podcast with DanHarris and the Buddhist teacher
(57:13):
Noah Levine, who works a lotwith addicts and people with
substance abuse issues andpeople who are kind of on the
edge, at one point said yeah,10% happier is not going to work
for a lot of the people thatcome to me.
They need something strongerthan that and maybe that's the
(57:37):
case, something stronger thanthat, and maybe that's the case.
Maybe just the ambient lovethat's anywhere and everywhere
and accessible at all times doesnot feel sufficient to what you
need right now to feel good,safe and okay.
But there's love coming yourway and if you look around,
(58:05):
there's love out there for thegetting.
It might not be in the firstplace you look, and when it
comes to you it may not comethrough the channels that you
expected.
So don't be surprised if itfinds a creative, perhaps
(58:29):
prankish, way to present itselfto you, because that's what it
does.
It's not all nice, it's alsoplayful and teasing and loves
push-pull and polarity andsometimes plays games.
(58:51):
That can be fun.
Game playing gets a bad rap,but it's part of the joy of life
.
Sometimes, if you do it welland give everyone the utmost
(59:12):
respect which is the least thatyou owe them, which is the least
that you owe them you can getgood at that kind of playfulness
and be one of the top five inyour metro area by some metrics.
And sometimes the play getsrough, sometimes somebody gets
(59:39):
hurt.
You can always come back toyour breath.
That is always a safe place toland.
You've been listening to EmersonDameron's Medicated Minutes
medicated-minutescom.
I'm Emerson Dameron.
Music is by Visions of theUniverse.
(01:00:01):
Everything else is by me.
I'm entirely responsible forthe content of the show.
Levity saves lives.
I am the producer.
But Emerson Dameron's MedicatedMinutes is a production of
K-Chung, los Angeles 1630 AM.
Kchungradioorg.
(01:00:23):
Don't forget to breathe.
That is your portal to yourconscious, your unconscious and
your unstoppable confidence.
At first I thought this wasseriously a setup.
(01:00:54):
She seemed really into it and Ithought maybe she loved taking
my discipline and also was usingsex for power.
I don't know if that blew mymind, but it blew.
Simple, steamy, dreamy and waytoo hot for radio.
Crimson Transgressions Abite-sized erotic thriller by
Emerson Dameron.
Find it before it finds you.
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