Going Out In Style: A Beautician’s Last Goodbye

The veil between worlds thinned dramatically the night I accompanied my best friend Kim to fulfill a promise 20 years in the making - styling her beloved client Carol's hair for her funeral. What began as emotional support for my friend transformed into one of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life.

Standing in that funeral home, the energy was so palpable it took my breath away. Not simply the expected heaviness of grief, but something far more complex and revelatory. As Kim meticulously styled Carol's hair with the same tools she'd used throughout their decades-long relationship, I witnessed something extraordinary - a gathering of souls. Carol's departed loved ones sat in the chairs beside us, paying their respects just as we do in the physical realm. This wasn't metaphorical; their presence was unmistakable, challenging everything I thought I understood about the afterlife.

Most fascinating was how our emotions flowed through this sacred space - oscillating between tears, laughter, and quiet reflection as Kim shared stories about her hilarious, spirited client. When Kim joked "you have enough hairspray for eternity," I distinctly heard Carol's spirit respond with humor. This experience crystallized a profound truth: grief manifests in myriad ways, and those who care for the deceased perform deeply sacred work, providing closure not just for the living but for souls transitioning and their spiritual families. As Kim later told her daughter, Carol simply "borrowed a body in the shell, outgrew it, and moved on to another journey." What a beautiful perspective that forever changed my approach to mediumship and deepened my understanding of life, death, and the thin veil between them. Does this story resonate with your own experiences of loss and spiritual connection? Share your thoughts with us.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to empower your soul.
I am here today to tell thestory of my dear best friend,
slash hairstylist yes, she's theone who keeps my hair looking
gorgeous all the time and howshe recently did the hair for
her beloved client of 20 yearsfor her funeral services.

(00:25):
Right, and it's just.
This was such a touching moment, a touching story, that she
invited me to be a part of, andI'm so honored that she asked me
to be there for her emotionalsupport during this time.
And I asked her if it's okay toshare this story and she said
yes, and I was going to changethe name of her client, but her

(00:46):
client will not let me recordthis.
She's interrupted me severaltimes as I started to record
this several times.
She wants me to use her name,so her name is Carol.
Hi, carol, thanks for beingokay with us, and I want to talk
about this amazing moment thathad so much emotion and depth
and understanding, and also alittle bit of perspective from

(01:08):
the other side about what it'slike for funeral excuse me,
funeral services as well.
So let's go there, let's talkabout this and just to give you
a level set on my amazing bestfriend, kim.
She is truly one of a kind.
She's such an amazing heart ledperson.
She is the ultimate optimist.

(01:28):
She is one of the hardestworking women I know and she
really stands by her incrediblevalues, as you're going to see
in here in this episode today.
So, kim, thank you so much.
I'm so blessed to be a part ofyour circle, part of your soul,
family and girl.
There's nothing I wouldn't dofor you.

(01:49):
There's nothing I wouldn't dofor you.
So let's talk about thisadventure to the funeral home
that we had and how like it was.
Just this mind, this mindblowing evening.
That only lasted like an hourand a half, but I walked away
gobsmacked, absolutelygobsmacked.
So, to rewind the story alittle bit, this client Carol

(02:10):
had been a client of Kim's forover 20 years, came to her all
the time.
She's really funny, she's got aton of personality to her, and
she continuously told Kim when Idie, I want you to do my hair
to her.
And she continuously told Kimwhen I die, I want you to do my
hair.
And as Kim found out she passed.
She reached out to the family,said hey, I, she wanted me to do

(02:30):
her hair.
Would you mind if I did herhair for the services.
They were fine with it.
She called the funeral home,and that's how we ended up on
this Thursday evening the two ofus standing outside the funeral
home with her with her backpackfull of all of her hairstylist
hairstyling tools and sprays,and a bag of makeup.
She didn't need it, though, andwe walked in together as we got

(02:54):
into the room where Carol wasbeautifully placed in the coffin
.
As I passed the threshold fromthis wooden floor to this red
carpeted you know what I'mtalking about the funeral home
carpet, I cannot even tell youthe energy of that room.
When I crossed that threshold,the energy of that room took my

(03:16):
breath away.
It was so strong, and Iwouldn't say it was bad.
I wouldn't say the energy wasbad, I wouldn't say the energy
was good, it was just reallystrong and I wouldn't say it was
bad.
I wouldn't say the energy wasbad, I wouldn't say the energy
was good, it was just reallystrong.
You could tell there was a lotof energy in that room, and so I
looked left, and to our leftwas the first row of chairs that
you typically see, you know, ata wake, at a funeral, in the

(03:39):
funeral home and I looked leftand I saw five of her loved ones
sitting there paying respectsto her body, paying respects to
Carol's life.
I could see them sitting there,mourning with tissues hunched
over, and I could probablydeduce who I thought I saw that

(04:00):
day, but without confidence ofknowing.
I feel like her dad was there,I feel like her mom was there.
Her departed husband was there.
Like I could, I could, and Isaw a younger person too.
I don't know who that is, but Icould see a row of souls there
paying her respects to her lifeand her body.
I could see a I don't know whoit was, but I could see there

(04:22):
was a religious figure thatdefinitely walked here on planet
earth, standing with us in theroom, praying over her body.
The energy was so dizzying inthat moment I had to like take a
minute, take a breath.
I've never felt that way beforein any sort of circumstances

(04:44):
and I have to be honest with you, it took me a little while to
even go near Carol's bodyBecause and this is like the
weirdest part I don't know ifthis is typical, I don't know if
this is what others experienced, but I honestly felt like her
body still had her energy in it,like I feel like her aura now
we all know when we depart, likeour souls are kind of on the
other side in the spirit world,but I still felt like her energy
in it, like I feel like heraura now we all know when we

(05:05):
depart, like our souls are kindof on the other side in the
spirit world, but I still feltlike her energy was in her body
and I don't know what that means.
I don't know, you know, Ihaven't really sat and meditated
on it, but clearly her presencewas still in her physical body
and in the room.
But I have to tell you it felta little different than other
auras because it felt a littlebit scattered.

(05:26):
It felt, I don't know, moreliquid, like your aura is like
your egg and it tends to bepretty solid, and it felt a
little more like it was tryingto stay in, like it.
I don't, I don't know how elseto describe this, but anyway, it
was just very interestingbecause it took me a little
while to get close to her, um,her body, because I still felt
the energy of Carol there, whichis really interesting, because
I also felt Carol over myshoulder while we were, while

(05:49):
Kim was doing her hair and sojust to kind of lay the
groundwork in terms of theenergy in the room, it was
palpable, you could feel it.
It had a heartbeat, it had asoul.
It had so many people in theroom almost doing what we do at
wakes as humans, but doing itfrom a soul's perspective and it
was so interesting to see that.

(06:11):
So back to Kim's experience,because obviously Kim is very
intuitive.
She could be a medium if shewanted to.
You could, kim.
But back to Kim's experience.
What she ended up doing wasplacing her backpack on the
ground, brought out all of hertools and materials, laid them

(06:33):
out on some plastic columns nearthe casket, and she got to work
right.
She pulled out that flat ironthat she used to curl her
client's hair.
She had the hairspray, I mean,she had a comb, she had brushes,
she had everything to make surethat Carol looked perfect.
And as she sat there doing herhair, we oscillated between so

(06:59):
many different emotions.
I'm going to try really hardnot to cry, um, because she
reminisced about the stories ofthis absolutely hilarious client
that she had.
She talked about, uh, thefamily that she knows.

(07:21):
She talked about, you know, thepassing of her husband, as when
she was younger she talkedabout the time where she thought
she almost died in her chairbefore right.
So it was this, these momentsabout these stories, both somber
, both funny, and in between allof these stories that Kim
shared about Carol, we all wealso shared these quiet moments

(07:44):
of reflection and thisoscillation between the humor,
the nostalgia, the quiet moments, I think was just the perfect
way for Kim to be able toprocess what she was doing and
calm her nervous system in thisobviously very emotional moment.
And about halfway through thesethoughts and these words of

(08:07):
love and these stories that aremaking us laugh, I start feeling
Carol's energy come in and shestarts replying to all of Kim's
comments with hilarious commentsin my mind and it takes me a
little while to register thisbecause I'm not looking for them
.
I'm not sitting there wonderingwhat Carol's thinking, but
she's starting to barge in on mybrain and starting to drop

(08:29):
these hilarious quips which Istart relaying to Kim to help
her feel you know better aboutwhat she's doing and help her
kind of process emotionally whatshe's doing.
But I could tell just from theenergy of Carol she was just so
grateful and so full of love forKim for doing this for her, and
I know that there's no betterway she'd want to go out than

(08:52):
having Kim do her hair.
So, as Kim starts wrapping upand she's feeling really good
with how Carol looks you knowher hairstylist the hair is so
important, everybody.
The hair is so important forfuneral because it's the last
hurrah, it's the last goodbye.
You want everybody that walksby and sees her in the casket,

(09:14):
you know with with the perfecthair.
Let's talk about it becausethat is who she was and I know
through Kim that she was veryparticular about her hair here
in the physical world.
So when Kim was finally, she gother pictures out.
She's like looking at the oldpictures of Carol.
She's trying to compare.
And when Kim was finally happywith how Carol's hair looked
because, by the way, kim is aperfectionist, so she was not
going to leave until Carol'shair was perfect, sorry, sorry,

(09:43):
um.
This and I think this righthere is the perfect reflection
of how we felt in the moment,because I'm tears are streaming
down my face, but it was areally funny thing that Kim said
.
Kim said well, you have enoughhairspray for eternity, carol.
Um, I hope you love your hairbecause you're going to wear it

(10:08):
forever.
And then I heard Carolhilariously quip in my head you
look beautiful.
Thank you so much.
I look beautiful.
How much do I owe you.

(10:31):
So, just like right now, in thismoment, with our eyes filled
with tears, we went to a localrestaurant for dinner, toasted
carol, and I really reminded Kimhow brave, how powerful, how
badass she was.
To be able to do that for herclient, to be able to give her

(10:56):
her last beautiful hairstyleinto the great beyond, right
into the great beyond, right.
That hour and a half on aThursday night was so completely
life changing.
So I'm just going to take adeep breath here.

(11:16):
Breathe with me.
Sorry about the booger sound,but I keep reflecting back on
this.
And here's here are theserandom jumbled thoughts that I
can't really put into a storyfor you, but it's so important
that I call out.
These are the things that Iprocessed and this is what I'm

(11:37):
walking away with from thisamazing experience.
Number one is the importance ofrituals.
Not only do these funeralservices allow us, as humans, to
have closure for the passing ofour loved ones, but it was
mind-blowing for me to learnthat this is also a ritual for

(12:02):
the spirit world, that this isalso a ritual for the spirit
world.
They really do God, I'm a messeverybody.
They really do pay respects toour lives, just like we do, and
so that I mean that is going tosit with me for the rest of
eternity because that's justmind blowing to me and

(12:25):
especially because I reallythink that us, as souls I guess
I always walked around with theperspective of us as souls we,
we have so many differentlifetimes, so for us you know,
I've always heard the term thisis a blip in our soul's journey.

(12:51):
Right, this is just a very smallpiece.
This is like a dream.
It's not real.
It's the matrix, right, butwhat I saw in that funeral
counteracted everything that Iwas taught in that space, which
is, I think, so important thatthey do cherish.
They do cherish these lives asmuch as we do, right in the
moment, that they do pay homageto this lifetime and its

(13:13):
importance in the journey of oursouls.
It might be a blip in oursoul's journey, but a blip that
is so important and so deservingof the love and celebration
that we give people when theymove on from the physical world
into the spirit world, and theydo the same and they do the same
, and I think learning that hasbeen life changing for me and

(13:40):
will allow me to have a wholenew perspective on how spirits
really spirit, souls reallyapproach death and dying,
because I think they mourn.
I feel like I should record thisagain.
You sound like a prepubescentboy, but they mourn our lives

(14:05):
and our passing just like we do.
So, I mean, isn't there suchbeauty in that?
Okay, let's breathe again.
Can you tell how much thisimpacted me?
I also learned thanks to asemantics class.

(14:28):
I've been in more on that later.
Okay, I think I'm okay now.
I'm going to tell spirit toback the fuck up, because I
would not like to cry this wholetime I would.
I also learned again thanks tothe semantics class that I'll
talk about later.
I'm going to tell spirit toback the fuck up because I would
not like to cry this whole timeI would.
I also learned again thanks tothe semantics class that I'll
talk about later I'm going tobring Aaron on for that that all

(14:48):
of our emotional responses togrief and death and dying and
I'm talking about everything wewalk through the humor, the
tears, the silence, like theseare all different ways that we
process this huge energy ofgrief and it allows and allows
that energy to move through themand flow through them in

(15:11):
whatever way this grief energywants to come out.
And I think you know I've saidit, but now I've lived it like
there's no right way to grieve.
You know I've said it, but nowI've lived it like there's no
right way to grieve.
And it's really important forme and for other mediumship
practitioners out there tonotice and know that grief is

(15:31):
not only tears.
Sometimes it shows up in joyand laughter.
And as somebody who has lost alot of people, as somebody who
talks to quite a few dead peopleright, for what I do for a
living quite a few is anunderstatement, by the way I
often forget the emotionalweight of what we do for work

(15:57):
and I want to come in and healpeople Like my goal is, like I
want people to leave better thanthey came.
But for me, sitting in this, I Irealized the value of honoring
where people are at and meetingpeople where they're at and
allowing them to feel those bigemotions and not rush through

(16:19):
them in our sessions, becauseprocessing this grief is
something that we are helpingthem through, not just allowing
them to know their loved onesare with them.
We're helping them processgrief.
It's moving that stagnantenergy through and allowing them
to come out the other side.

(16:40):
So I'm going to be approaching,I think, my sessions with my
clients I'm going to saydifferently I don't know what
this means yet, but I think I'mgoing to be more cognizant of
how grief can show up fordifferent people and not just
assume, because my client islaughing, that they're okay.

(17:00):
That can also be just a reallybig indicator that they're
hurting a lot.
And it's more about theamplification, the volume, so to
speak, of the emotion, notnecessarily the way that it's
being expressed.
That's what I'm going to payattention to from now on.
And then also for those of youthat care for the dead the

(17:24):
funeral home directors, thehospice professionals, the
makeup artists, the hairstylistsI want you to know the immense
value you provide intransitioning these souls to the
other side, and I want you toknow that what you do is sacred
work.
It's, it's only for the brave,for the strong, the ones that

(17:47):
can hold these big, complicatedemotions.
And I also want you to know thatyou not only provide closure
and healing to the families thatyou can see with your physical
eyes, but also for the soulsthat you transition and their
families on the other side.
And so I would like to end thiswet, crying mess of an episode,

(18:11):
something that Kim texted to mewhen I, when I texted her to
ask permission to tell thisstory, and she was telling her
daughter about the passing ofCarol and how Carol's no longer
with us here in the physicalplane, and she told her daughter
that Carol just borrowed a bodyin the shell and that she grew

(18:39):
her shell and she's now on toanother journey, and I thought
that was so, so beautiful.
Thank you so much for listeningto the story, for me choking up
constantly.
I truly appreciate you, kim,for allowing me to share this

(19:00):
journey and this story witheverybody, and, for those of you
that are listening, I hope youknow that your loved ones love
you so much and, from my soul toyours, I hope you have a
beautiful day.
Take care.