January 4, 2025 • 33 mins
In this inspiring episode, Jenna aka Jennifer welcomes the remarkable Lucy Liu—a global business strategist, certified life coach, international bestselling author, and host of The Lucy Liu Show. Lucy empowers high-achieving women to break free from overwhelm, cultivate unshakable confidence, and create fulfilling lives. Together, they explore Lucy's journey of transforming a perceived hindrance—sharing her name with a celebrity—into her greatest asset.
Lucy shares powerful insights on overcoming limiting beliefs, embracing personal growth, and making bold decisions that lead to lasting confidence and joy. From practical tips on grounding practices to the importance of celebrating wins, Lucy offers a masterclass on creating a life aligned with your dreams. Whether you're looking for inspiration or actionable steps to step into your power, this episode has it all.
Tune in for an authentic and uplifting conversation that will leave you believing, “There is always a way.” Don’t miss this episode packed with gems for your personal and professional transformation!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Empowered Within, a soul-quenching,
transformational podcast thatwill set your soul on fire.
Through candid and inspiringconversations, leading experts,
celebrities, healers and I shareour journeys of how we've
overcome challenges to living anempowered life from within.
I'm your host, jennifer Pilates.
Welcome to another episode ofEmpowered Within.
(00:29):
Hi there, and welcome to theshow I am honored to have with
us the one and only Lucy Liu.
It has been a minute, so I am soexcited to have her here today,
so let's find out a little bitabout her.
Lucy Liu is a global businessstrategist and certified life
(00:51):
coach, helping high-achievingwomen in life transitions
unstuck, kiss, overwhelm goodbye, cultivate rock star confidence
, seek clarity, reach for yourdreams and live a joyful,
fulfilling life.
She is an unshakable, optimistwife, mother, easygoing
entrepreneur, certified.
I Am Remarkable WomenEmpowerment Workshop facilitator
(01:15):
and an internationalbestselling author and speaker.
She's the author of twointernational bestselling books
the Rising Sisterhood and AsianWomen who Boss Up.
She also inspires as the hostof her weekly podcast, the Lucy
Liu Show, which is the fuelingstation for your mind, business
and life.
She has been featured in theMedium Voyage, la Elephant
(01:37):
Journal, thrive, global Fox, cbs, nbc and dozens more media
outlets.
Welcome to the show, lucy.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh, thank you so much for having me, jennifer.
I'm so excited to be here today, oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
We were just talking a minute ago and I said, oh my
gosh, we, I swear it's been likea year and a half.
We've been trying to get you onthe show Non-stop.
I don't know about you, butwhen I started my podcast I
thought, my gosh, how am I evergoing to get guests?
And literally within like amonth, year wait list.
Three years later, year waitlist Like it's insane and I love
(02:14):
it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So I'm so blessed and grateful to have you here
Finally.
Oh yeah, it's so true, right,like when we think about
anything we want, it seems soimpossible and then a year later
, in hindsight, it just happens.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It just happens.
So, all right, we've got tostart with the obvious here,
your story of sharing the nameof a celebrity.
I want to hear your story ofhow your name went from being a
hindrance to being your biggestasset.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh, yes, I love sharing this story because
that's what people interested tohear.
Obviously, my name is Lucy Liuand there is another incredible
woman by the same name.
She is an actress, she's adirector, she is an actor,
artist.
Actually, she's super talentedand I love her so much I can't
(03:03):
even hate her.
But the truth, the reality is,because she became so famous and
I already have my name, Ialways felt behind.
Like in high school I feltbehind.
Well, she's so popular, she'sso famous, and look at me, where
(03:23):
am I?
Who am I so popular?
She's so famous, and look at me, where am I?
Who am I?
There was this constant urge tocompare myself to her and
feeling behind.
So, actually, in high school, Idropped myself out of high
school with straight A's becauseI felt so behind.
And I do live in California andwe had this, something called
(03:47):
the California Proficiency Test,which I took, and I give you a
little piece of tiny piece ofpaper that says you're
proficient enough to go to onlya community college, and that's
what I did I graduated.
So I graduated only sophomoreyear and I went to a community
(04:08):
college.
I wanted to be ahead of othersand guess what, even though I
was physically ahead of my peersfor two years, I still felt
behind it was never enough, itwas never on time.
I was always less than so.
I think what the lesson therewas that even though what you
(04:33):
think success is in life right,you're chasing, you're always
chasing the different shinyobjects in life and that could
be anything you're reallylooking forward to chase after.
Whether that's status, right,the materialistic things, a more
luxury of life, a morereputable position, whatever it
(04:56):
is that you're seeking in life,you know it's really when is
enough?
We think that it's ahead right.
If you're in business, oh, whenI make six figures, seven
figures, eight figures, I'll behappy.
We're always chasing somethingthat we think is what success
(05:18):
means.
But it only took me decades ofpersonal development to learn
that actually none of thatmatters, because enough is a
decision right.
I was living in autopilot for 20years of my life, thinking,
well, lucy Liu, you know I'mgoing to be nobody, no one knows
(05:41):
who I am.
I'm never going to be famouslike her and I'm just going to
be famous like her and I'm justgoing to live through the motion
of life.
And even though I was okayfinancially, I was still
stressed, I was stilloverwhelmed all the time.
I was still unhealthy and Istill felt unfulfilled.
And what made the difference?
Only was I made the decision toreally honor who I am, and now
(06:07):
I learned to love my name.
Lucy Liu is actually my maidenname and I decided to even keep
it after marriage because thatreminds me of the times when I
wasn't confident enough toreally be myself and stop
comparing to others.
And, by the way, I live nearHollywood, in Los Angeles.
(06:29):
So I actually signed up with acasting director when I was in
middle school and every time Iwent to an audition the director
would run out of their office,get super excited like, oh, lucy
Liu's on my list.
And the moment they see me theymake this such disappointment
face like, oh, you're not theLucy Liu.
(06:50):
Every time I made a restaurantreservation I mean, I am in LA
everyone would ask me are youthe Lucy Liu?
And I felt like I wasdisappointing people left and
right all through my life.
And I know maybe if you'relistening or watching this, you
have a different story, but thatstory might be similar in the
(07:13):
form of your name is too common,it's too hard to pronounce, or
just something that you dislikeyour life, that you think is
holding you back.
Let me tell you, whatever isyour hindrance now becomes your
asset.
And look at me today, because Ichose to live the other way,
(07:35):
right, the confident way, and toreally just embrace my name,
love my name, and that's exactlywhy I launched my own podcast,
the Lucy Liu Show.
You know, obviously we're goingto have limiting beliefs like,
oh what if, you know, nobodylikes me because I started with
zero listeners, zero followers.
(07:55):
We start I'm a nobody, remember.
But that's exactly whatinspires my audience knowing
that I really felt like nobodyand I still went for my dreams.
And now I live such afulfilling life, helping other
women shatter their limitingbeliefs and really just to live
(08:18):
the epic life that you deserve.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I think that is such an incredible story and so
inspiring, and it's truly astory that we all have in one
area or another in our lives.
You know you can apply that toso many different things.
So take me back to that onemoment where you decided okay,
I'm going to step into thepersonal development ring and I
solely want to work with women.
(08:41):
That's what I'm going to do.
What was that moment like andhow did you get there?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, Honestly, I did not know what coaching was.
We understand that professionalathletes had coaches, right?
Basketball players they had all.
Basically, I think the coachingindustry was known to people in
the athletic field high impact.
(09:13):
Like we know, billionaires andentrepreneurs at very high
levels had coaches on theirsides and I did not have the
luxury of that and I did notknow that as normal human beings
we can have this luxury until Iwas following a blogger who was
teaching a course on how tostart your website and I was
like, oh, what am I good at?
(09:34):
I can start a blog.
So I started a actually apersonal development blog and
very soon after she jumped inthe coaching, she became a life
coach and I was like blown awayand I was like, oh, my goodness,
that's for me, that's what I'mgonna do for the rest of my life
.
(09:54):
I think when something excitesyou so much that it's right for
you, you know that's going tobring you more fulfillment than
having income in your bankaccount, right, I mean that's
nice, we always like that rightIncome in your bank account.
But at the end of the day,what's the point of making
millions of dollars if you can'tsleep at night?
(10:15):
What's the point of having allthe things that you want, the
luxury items in your life, ifyou're not happy from the day,
the moment, at each waking up toa brand new day, right?
Do you want that to be full ofpressure, stress and worry about
(10:36):
what that next deal is going tobe about or that you know to-do
list?
Or do you wake up in themorning, like I do now today?
I get so excited looking at mycalendar because Jennifer
Pilates on my calendar today.
That is super exciting for mebecause I am ready to provide
(10:58):
value to whoever comes into mypresence and that's me of
service and that brings me joyand that's on the top of my joy
list and I also always recommendall my clients to make a list
of joy.
What truly brings you joy?
What activities in life bringsyou joy?
Engage in those activitiesfirst, right, that should be
(11:21):
your non-negotiables and, assoon as you're attending all
your non-negotiables, that givesyou the boost of confidence you
need to tackle all your days,and even as coaches.
That doesn't mean we don't havea bad day.
It doesn't mean life don'tthrow curve balls at us, but how
do you react to it.
(11:41):
That's going to make a world ofdifference and how you react
becomes your reality of life, sothat reality added together is
your life, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So you're touching and segwaying into a perfect
part.
When we talk about the limitingbeliefs and we say you know,
and everyone's listening, goingwell, this sounds really great,
but right Cause there's always abut in quotations there.
What are a few?
What are your top three go-tosfor helping people to break free
from their limiting beliefs?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That's a good question, because limiting
beliefs, oh boy, we all havethem.
We all have that inner voice.
The moment you make a powerfuldecision, you hear this little
tiny voice telling you otherwise.
Right, almost immediately, whenyou feel empowered, there's
always the other inner voice.
(12:35):
And I think I always sayeverything starts with awareness
.
So, number one, that would haveto start with awareness,
because you've made a decisionto work on yourself, because
you've made a decision to live adifferent way of life, a better
way of life, and because youbelieve it's possible.
(12:56):
Now you're going to be aware ofthese little limiting beliefs
and the little negative voicesinside of your head and once you
catch it, it's okay.
Notice it's there.
Don't be like I'm trying tofight it off Because, just like
(13:16):
when you're in the ocean, if youwere trying really hard, you're
drowning in overwhelm andnegativity.
You know, think of that as theocean waves.
If you're just treading water,you're going to be okay, just
let it be.
You're going to flow, you'regoing to float, right.
But if you're fighting it, theharder you're fighting it.
(13:39):
You're like oh man, I got toget out of this.
Like, you know, why am I inthis funk?
As soon as you do that, guesswhat?
You're going to drown.
So think of that analogy, right, just find your way of
grounding yourself, whetherthat's through.
There's so many modalities,right Yoga, exercise, getting
(14:00):
out in nature, journaling,gratitude journaling, breath
works.
There are tons of modalitiesthat will keep you grounded.
Just try them on and see whatfits your life and make sure you
do a daily exercise that'skeeping you grounded, so you
have awareness and becauseyou're keeping these activities
(14:20):
of grounding, you're going tohave that tool to use when you
feel like you're drowning, sothat you can calm down, have
comp and stay afloat of yournegative waves.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
What does it look like for you, lucy?
Because our lives aren'tperfect and you've mentioned
that we saw stressful momentsand deadlines, and life and the
world around us.
What practices do you employ tohelp fight off or release the
stress?
Keep yourself on track withyour to-do lists and make time
(14:58):
for life.
Being a mom outside of being anentrepreneur?
Good question.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
First of all, I have to say I'm a person who is
against to-do lists.
I'm a person who is againstto-do lists, so I don't actually
have a to-do list.
I have things on my calendar,right.
So, for example, right now, if,jennifer, you're on my calendar
, I'm going to do this podcast.
If I need to do something, ifit takes a minute or two, I just
(15:28):
do it now.
If it takes time to do, I needto schedule that on my calendar.
So even be it.
You know, I make little things,even like time for laundry time
.
Oh, I need time to upload myown podcast.
Whatever it is that I need todo, instead of having a to do
list, I pretty much schedulethem in my calendar, so I don't
(15:53):
have to be looking at a list tobegin with.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So really that's a great mindset shift, cause I
always talk about the same thing.
I don't have a to-do list.
I might have like a goal forthem.
You know goals for the month orfor the week, but I don't.
I scrapped that a long time ago.
It's so stressful, I think itcan become more stressful, and
then you put more stuff on itand you never do it Right.
So then you're already battlingagainst yourself.
You're your own worst enemy.
So I love that You're just like.
(16:18):
No, I have a schedule today.
This is my schedule.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, but you know what?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I know.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I get it.
I have.
I had a lot of clients who arelike no, I can't live without a
to-do list, I'm a list person.
Okay, well, in that case, whatI tell them to do is to rename
their list to something else.
We've heard of the done list,the celebration list, the ta-da
list.
Like when you check one itemoff, you go ta-da right.
(16:46):
Like our minds justsubconsciously hates to-do lists
.
Like when we see oh to-do list,oh, we hate it.
Like our mind, we actuallynaturally tend to not even get
to it.
Right, there's resistanceautomatically.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I love the idea.
I love let's rename it I'm soold school I love to write
everything down.
So even if I have my, my elect,what do I want to call it?
Like a technical electriccalendar or scheduler.
I love paper and pen.
I love to physically checksomething.
I'll like scratch it off.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
That feels so good to me.
Yeah, yeah, and some people usepost-it notes so that when it's
done, it's throw away thepost-it note, you don't want to
see it anymore.
But do something that's moreempowering.
Instead of resisting, insteadof, you know, letting it be a
chore, it should be acelebration that you've done it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Absolutely, and it's all about celebrating those
little steps so that when you doaccomplish that big goal,
whatever it may be, you actuallycelebrate it.
Because I'm sure you've falleninto this, lucy, I know I've
fallen into this where it's like, oh, yay, we hit another goal
on our podcast and we just likemove on with the day, like it
was no big deal and we'd beenlooking forward to that for so
(18:01):
long and it's so.
It's important to even schedulein those moments of celebrating
yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, that's actually one of the top things I start
my coaching calls with is to askthe client to celebrate their
wins of the week, becausesometimes, actually most of the
time, they're like, oh, Ihaven't celebrated.
But once you reallyintentionally look for the wins,
they're always there.
Big or small it's always there.
(18:27):
But if you don't celebrate it,we're always naturally looking
for the lack.
What am I lacking in my life?
Like, we're not celebrating thewins, and that's a natural
phenomenon.
But as soon as you focus onyour wins, guess what?
You're going to attract morewins, right, you're going to win
again.
What gets celebrated getsrepeated, yes, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I love that exclamation point.
That's fabulous, oh my goodness.
So when we look back over theyears, what have been a couple
of the obstacles or potholesthat you may have hit and that
you're so proud of, that you'vecelebrated, that you've overcome
, be that in any area.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Oh my goodness, there's so many potholes.
I always say that life throwsus lemons, make lemon juice with
it, right, and I think the bestversion I've heard is life
throws you lemons, but makegrapefruit juice and let
everyone wonder how did you doit?
So we don't see the behind thescenes.
(19:35):
Right, there's always, always,limits.
Oh my goodness, I can't eventhink of whether it's with
business, whether it's yourrelationship.
I think in hindsight, a lot oftimes.
I think it's about making boldmoves and making that determined
decision, like when it getsdifficult, when it gets painful,
(20:00):
when there is a heartbreak.
I think all these painful times, they are all mandatory, we all
get them.
As long as we're breathing.
We get these mandatory painfulmoments or heartbreaks.
But I think what's important isthe transformation after.
(20:22):
That's your choice when youwant to take this to.
If you're in a dark tunnel,right, do you want to stay in
the tunnel forever and be indarkness, or do you just trust
that there is light at the endof the tunnel and that, even if
you can't see the next bend,just keep on going?
(20:43):
Just, you know, have yourheadlight on, just believe that
there's light at the end of thetunnel, and that's what I
believe in that's one of mymantras in life is that I always
believe there is a way right.
There are certain things wecannot get away with.
We're born, can't change thatright, and we get sick, so we
(21:07):
can't change that.
If I come down with a flu, beit, it happens.
There's nothing I can do.
Once it happens, we age.
That's something I can't changeas well, at the end of life
there's death.
If it's not these four things,there's something you can do
(21:27):
about it.
If it's not about aging ordying or getting sick, you can
take control of it and you canmake the decision that you can
be in control or you let itcontrol you.
It's always one or the other.
So you get to make that choice.
(21:47):
And when things get hard, Ijust tell myself it's temporary.
Even life is temporary, right.
Even life is temporary, right.
So if it's temporary, there'ssomething I can do about it.
Yes, I give myself grace andtime to grieve and to feel the
(22:08):
emotions, but because I knowthat's temporary, I give myself
time, but then I expedite thehealing process.
But then I expedite the healingprocess.
I expedite myself and putmyself back because I know I
choose to be this more confidentand best version of Lucy, of
myself.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Which is beautiful, and you exude it.
You just glow.
I love that.
How can someone who's sittingat home going sounds great.
I don't know where to begin tohelp myself to feel more
confident.
Where does someone?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
start.
Yeah, baby steps, baby steps.
It becomes hard when we are atpoint A and then you're thinking
, oh, I want to get to point Z,right, but that is so daunting,
like, it seems so impossible.
When you think it's impossible,it's because you are setting
your goal.
Not that it's not big enough orsmall enough, right, because
(23:08):
the size of a goal or the, youknow what we think about it,
it's all in your mindset.
However, if you chunk down thegoal small enough, it's always
possible.
So, if you want a goal, say youokay, you want to be a million
dollar business?
Well, you got to start bymaking that first dollar.
(23:29):
So it's always possible, right,it's always possible.
So start looking at point A tojust point B.
You want to get to point Z, asin zebra, but that's far away.
Okay, well, let's only look atpoint A and B.
What's your next baby step?
That's all you need to befocusing on, and that's going to
(23:50):
seem so easy.
And hey, once you're at point B, then getting to point C would
seem a lot easier.
And I know life happens.
So sometimes maybe you're likeworking on your goal point A, b,
c and then, once you're atpoint C, you might even change
your mind.
You might even pivot, butthat's okay because that's life.
(24:13):
And guess what?
Clarity only comes with action.
So only if you take action,only if you get to point B or C
would you know if that's whatyou like to do in life or not.
Because if you are just stayingat point A for the rest of your
life, you would only bethinking about the point Zs,
(24:34):
right?
So what is that saying thatit's always better to live a
life of oh wells than what ifs?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
right, Absolutely.
And so you know, when we lookback at you a wife, a mother,
the podcast, two books andthere's a third book coming, or
the third book just is comingout right now.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yes, I have my solo book.
It is on Amazon and it's calledA Confident and Epic.
It's 21 decisions to livingyour best life.
And I am a bit advocate aboutmaking decisions because now I
get interviewed on podcasts andpeople always ask me well, lucy,
how did you get to where youare now?
(25:14):
And when I look back, it'struly the daily decisions I made
.
It's the decisions I made alongthe way that got me here.
And I think every day I mean wemake like really 30,000
decisions, but we just don'tknow right.
We decide what time we wake up.
We get to decide if we hit thesnooze button or not.
(25:35):
We get to decide what to drinkfor breakfast, what to wear.
We're constantly makingdecisions, but these small
decisions are only there to helpus live the motion of each day.
But really it's our intentional, purposeful, really the big
decisions that we make that'sgoing to shape your life.
(25:58):
So I'm really big on decisions.
Make a decision to change yourlife.
Confidence is a decision.
It's not something you're bornwith or something other people's
born with.
It's not unattainable, it'sstill possible, whether you're
introverted or extroverted.
It has nothing to do with yourpersonality, but it's really a
(26:20):
decision and what you haveenough.
Enough is not an amount.
Enough is a decision as well.
Everything in life you want isonly a decision away.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
How very true.
I love that so much.
Oh my gosh, this has been soamazing, Lucy.
You are just dropping gems leftand right.
I hope everyone has had theirpen and paper out.
If not, you know you're goingto need to rewind and start all
over again, because this is amasterclass 101 right here,
which is absolutely amazing.
So we're getting to this pointin the show, Lucy, where I
(26:55):
always ask this one question Areyou ready?
Let's do it All right.
What is one thing that no oneknows about?
Lucy Liu?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh well, everyone see me because I speak on
confidence.
I am a big advocate foreverything about confidence and
you see me talking on socialmedia.
You can see me speaking aboutit, I write about it and people
automatically think that I amvery confident, I'm very
(27:29):
extroverted, I can do things,I'm powerful, but in reality I
am very introverted.
Right now I spend most of mytime alone at home and I feel
like in the room I am actuallythe quiet one in the room.
So I want everyone to know thatyou can be very calm, you can
(27:49):
be the quiet one in the room,but you can still be confident
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I love that.
I find that to be such thehidden secret of so many of us
that the reality is is thatwe're introverted homebodies and
just want to be left alone.
Oh, my goodness.
Well, as we are closing out theshow, what is one last piece of
advice or inspiration thatyou'd like to leave with us
today?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I always like to leave with that believe there is
a way.
I think that is what got methrough every bump in the road
and every obstacle, because whenyou truly just have that
mindset, your mind is open toreceive new opportunities, new
experiences, and even if itmight be a negative experience,
(28:37):
there's always a lesson learnedfrom that.
So believe there is a way.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Absolutely, that is fabulous.
Thank you so much.
Well, please share with ouraudience.
Where can they best connectwith you, learn more about you
and grab your books, Yay?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
So the best place.
If you are currently in yourfavorite podcast platform, just
hit the search button and searchfor the Lucy Liu show.
That's L-U-C-Y-L-I-U, sofueling short weekly episodes to
fuel your mind, business andlife doses of inspiration.
So start there and then you canconnect me on social media.
(29:14):
I am most active on Instagramat M-S-L-U-C-Y-L-I-U, that's at
MissLucyLiu, and pretty muchhave the same handle across all
social media.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Well and, as always, all of Lucy's information and
her links are going to be overin the show notes at
JenniferPilatescom.
Lucy, thank you so much.
This was so well worth the wait.
I can't wait to have you backagain.
We'll talk about your new bookand see where you are bringing
your confidence and shining yourlight in the world next.
(29:49):
Thanks again for having me.
Oh, thank you so much.
As we say, until next time, mayyou live an empowered life from
within.
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode.
Please remember to rate, reviewand subscribe to Empowered
(30:11):
Within with Jennifer Pilates.
Your feedback is important.
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Until next time, may you livean empowered life from within.
Welcome to Empowered Within, a soul-quenching,
transformational podcast thatwill set your soul on fire.
Through candid and inspiringconversations, leading experts,
celebrities, healers and I shareour journeys of how we've
overcome challenges to living anempowered life from within.
I'm your host, jennifer Pilates.
Welcome to another episode ofEmpowered Within.
(00:29):
Hi there, and welcome to theshow I am honored to have with
us the one and only Lucy Liu.
It has been a minute, so I am soexcited to have her here today,
so let's find out a little bitabout her.
Lucy Liu is a global businessstrategist and certified life
(00:51):
coach, helping high-achievingwomen in life transitions
unstuck, kiss, overwhelm goodbye, cultivate rock star confidence
, seek clarity, reach for yourdreams and live a joyful,
fulfilling life.
She is an unshakable, optimistwife, mother, easygoing
entrepreneur, certified.
I Am Remarkable WomenEmpowerment Workshop facilitator
(01:15):
and an internationalbestselling author and speaker.
She's the author of twointernational bestselling books
the Rising Sisterhood and AsianWomen who Boss Up.
She also inspires as the hostof her weekly podcast, the Lucy
Liu Show, which is the fuelingstation for your mind, business
and life.
She has been featured in theMedium Voyage, la Elephant
(01:37):
Journal, thrive, global Fox, cbs, nbc and dozens more media
outlets.
Welcome to the show, lucy.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh, thank you so much for having me, jennifer.
I'm so excited to be here today, oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
We were just talking a minute ago and I said, oh my
gosh, we, I swear it's been likea year and a half.
We've been trying to get you onthe show Non-stop.
I don't know about you, butwhen I started my podcast I
thought, my gosh, how am I evergoing to get guests?
And literally within like amonth, year wait list.
Three years later, year waitlist Like it's insane and I love
(02:14):
it.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So I'm so blessed and grateful to have you here
Finally.
Oh yeah, it's so true, right,like when we think about
anything we want, it seems soimpossible and then a year later
, in hindsight, it just happens.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It just happens.
So, all right, we've got tostart with the obvious here,
your story of sharing the nameof a celebrity.
I want to hear your story ofhow your name went from being a
hindrance to being your biggestasset.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh, yes, I love sharing this story because
that's what people interested tohear.
Obviously, my name is Lucy Liuand there is another incredible
woman by the same name.
She is an actress, she's adirector, she is an actor,
artist.
Actually, she's super talentedand I love her so much I can't
(03:03):
even hate her.
But the truth, the reality is,because she became so famous and
I already have my name, Ialways felt behind.
Like in high school I feltbehind.
Well, she's so popular, she'sso famous, and look at me, where
(03:23):
am I?
Who am I so popular?
She's so famous, and look at me, where am I?
Who am I?
There was this constant urge tocompare myself to her and
feeling behind.
So, actually, in high school, Idropped myself out of high
school with straight A's becauseI felt so behind.
And I do live in California andwe had this, something called
(03:47):
the California Proficiency Test,which I took, and I give you a
little piece of tiny piece ofpaper that says you're
proficient enough to go to onlya community college, and that's
what I did I graduated.
So I graduated only sophomoreyear and I went to a community
(04:08):
college.
I wanted to be ahead of othersand guess what, even though I
was physically ahead of my peersfor two years, I still felt
behind it was never enough, itwas never on time.
I was always less than so.
I think what the lesson therewas that even though what you
(04:33):
think success is in life right,you're chasing, you're always
chasing the different shinyobjects in life and that could
be anything you're reallylooking forward to chase after.
Whether that's status, right,the materialistic things, a more
luxury of life, a morereputable position, whatever it
(04:56):
is that you're seeking in life,you know it's really when is
enough?
We think that it's ahead right.
If you're in business, oh, whenI make six figures, seven
figures, eight figures, I'll behappy.
We're always chasing somethingthat we think is what success
(05:18):
means.
But it only took me decades ofpersonal development to learn
that actually none of thatmatters, because enough is a
decision right.
I was living in autopilot for 20years of my life, thinking,
well, lucy Liu, you know I'mgoing to be nobody, no one knows
(05:41):
who I am.
I'm never going to be famouslike her and I'm just going to
be famous like her and I'm justgoing to live through the motion
of life.
And even though I was okayfinancially, I was still
stressed, I was stilloverwhelmed all the time.
I was still unhealthy and Istill felt unfulfilled.
And what made the difference?
Only was I made the decision toreally honor who I am, and now
(06:07):
I learned to love my name.
Lucy Liu is actually my maidenname and I decided to even keep
it after marriage because thatreminds me of the times when I
wasn't confident enough toreally be myself and stop
comparing to others.
And, by the way, I live nearHollywood, in Los Angeles.
(06:29):
So I actually signed up with acasting director when I was in
middle school and every time Iwent to an audition the director
would run out of their office,get super excited like, oh, lucy
Liu's on my list.
And the moment they see me theymake this such disappointment
face like, oh, you're not theLucy Liu.
(06:50):
Every time I made a restaurantreservation I mean, I am in LA
everyone would ask me are youthe Lucy Liu?
And I felt like I wasdisappointing people left and
right all through my life.
And I know maybe if you'relistening or watching this, you
have a different story, but thatstory might be similar in the
(07:13):
form of your name is too common,it's too hard to pronounce, or
just something that you dislikeyour life, that you think is
holding you back.
Let me tell you, whatever isyour hindrance now becomes your
asset.
And look at me today, because Ichose to live the other way,
(07:35):
right, the confident way, and toreally just embrace my name,
love my name, and that's exactlywhy I launched my own podcast,
the Lucy Liu Show.
You know, obviously we're goingto have limiting beliefs like,
oh what if, you know, nobodylikes me because I started with
zero listeners, zero followers.
(07:55):
We start I'm a nobody, remember.
But that's exactly whatinspires my audience knowing
that I really felt like nobodyand I still went for my dreams.
And now I live such afulfilling life, helping other
women shatter their limitingbeliefs and really just to live
(08:18):
the epic life that you deserve.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I think that is such an incredible story and so
inspiring, and it's truly astory that we all have in one
area or another in our lives.
You know you can apply that toso many different things.
So take me back to that onemoment where you decided okay,
I'm going to step into thepersonal development ring and I
solely want to work with women.
(08:41):
That's what I'm going to do.
What was that moment like andhow did you get there?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, Honestly, I did not know what coaching was.
We understand that professionalathletes had coaches, right?
Basketball players they had all.
Basically, I think the coachingindustry was known to people in
the athletic field high impact.
(09:13):
Like we know, billionaires andentrepreneurs at very high
levels had coaches on theirsides and I did not have the
luxury of that and I did notknow that as normal human beings
we can have this luxury until Iwas following a blogger who was
teaching a course on how tostart your website and I was
like, oh, what am I good at?
(09:34):
I can start a blog.
So I started a actually apersonal development blog and
very soon after she jumped inthe coaching, she became a life
coach and I was like blown awayand I was like, oh, my goodness,
that's for me, that's what I'mgonna do for the rest of my life
.
(09:54):
I think when something excitesyou so much that it's right for
you, you know that's going tobring you more fulfillment than
having income in your bankaccount, right, I mean that's
nice, we always like that rightIncome in your bank account.
But at the end of the day,what's the point of making
millions of dollars if you can'tsleep at night?
(10:15):
What's the point of having allthe things that you want, the
luxury items in your life, ifyou're not happy from the day,
the moment, at each waking up toa brand new day, right?
Do you want that to be full ofpressure, stress and worry about
(10:36):
what that next deal is going tobe about or that you know to-do
list?
Or do you wake up in themorning, like I do now today?
I get so excited looking at mycalendar because Jennifer
Pilates on my calendar today.
That is super exciting for mebecause I am ready to provide
(10:58):
value to whoever comes into mypresence and that's me of
service and that brings me joyand that's on the top of my joy
list and I also always recommendall my clients to make a list
of joy.
What truly brings you joy?
What activities in life bringsyou joy?
Engage in those activitiesfirst, right, that should be
(11:21):
your non-negotiables and, assoon as you're attending all
your non-negotiables, that givesyou the boost of confidence you
need to tackle all your days,and even as coaches.
That doesn't mean we don't havea bad day.
It doesn't mean life don'tthrow curve balls at us, but how
do you react to it.
(11:41):
That's going to make a world ofdifference and how you react
becomes your reality of life, sothat reality added together is
your life, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So you're touching and segwaying into a perfect
part.
When we talk about the limitingbeliefs and we say you know,
and everyone's listening, goingwell, this sounds really great,
but right Cause there's always abut in quotations there.
What are a few?
What are your top three go-tosfor helping people to break free
from their limiting beliefs?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
That's a good question, because limiting
beliefs, oh boy, we all havethem.
We all have that inner voice.
The moment you make a powerfuldecision, you hear this little
tiny voice telling you otherwise.
Right, almost immediately, whenyou feel empowered, there's
always the other inner voice.
(12:35):
And I think I always sayeverything starts with awareness
.
So, number one, that would haveto start with awareness,
because you've made a decisionto work on yourself, because
you've made a decision to live adifferent way of life, a better
way of life, and because youbelieve it's possible.
(12:56):
Now you're going to be aware ofthese little limiting beliefs
and the little negative voicesinside of your head and once you
catch it, it's okay.
Notice it's there.
Don't be like I'm trying tofight it off Because, just like
(13:16):
when you're in the ocean, if youwere trying really hard, you're
drowning in overwhelm andnegativity.
You know, think of that as theocean waves.
If you're just treading water,you're going to be okay, just
let it be.
You're going to flow, you'regoing to float, right.
But if you're fighting it, theharder you're fighting it.
(13:39):
You're like oh man, I got toget out of this.
Like, you know, why am I inthis funk?
As soon as you do that, guesswhat?
You're going to drown.
So think of that analogy, right, just find your way of
grounding yourself, whetherthat's through.
There's so many modalities,right Yoga, exercise, getting
(14:00):
out in nature, journaling,gratitude journaling, breath
works.
There are tons of modalitiesthat will keep you grounded.
Just try them on and see whatfits your life and make sure you
do a daily exercise that'skeeping you grounded, so you
have awareness and becauseyou're keeping these activities
(14:20):
of grounding, you're going tohave that tool to use when you
feel like you're drowning, sothat you can calm down, have
comp and stay afloat of yournegative waves.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
What does it look like for you, lucy?
Because our lives aren'tperfect and you've mentioned
that we saw stressful momentsand deadlines, and life and the
world around us.
What practices do you employ tohelp fight off or release the
stress?
Keep yourself on track withyour to-do lists and make time
(14:58):
for life.
Being a mom outside of being anentrepreneur?
Good question.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
First of all, I have to say I'm a person who is
against to-do lists.
I'm a person who is againstto-do lists, so I don't actually
have a to-do list.
I have things on my calendar,right.
So, for example, right now, if,jennifer, you're on my calendar
, I'm going to do this podcast.
If I need to do something, ifit takes a minute or two, I just
(15:28):
do it now.
If it takes time to do, I needto schedule that on my calendar.
So even be it.
You know, I make little things,even like time for laundry time
.
Oh, I need time to upload myown podcast.
Whatever it is that I need todo, instead of having a to do
list, I pretty much schedulethem in my calendar, so I don't
(15:53):
have to be looking at a list tobegin with.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So really that's a great mindset shift, cause I
always talk about the same thing.
I don't have a to-do list.
I might have like a goal forthem.
You know goals for the month orfor the week, but I don't.
I scrapped that a long time ago.
It's so stressful, I think itcan become more stressful, and
then you put more stuff on itand you never do it Right.
So then you're already battlingagainst yourself.
You're your own worst enemy.
So I love that You're just like.
(16:18):
No, I have a schedule today.
This is my schedule.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, but you know what?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I know.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I get it.
I have.
I had a lot of clients who arelike no, I can't live without a
to-do list, I'm a list person.
Okay, well, in that case, whatI tell them to do is to rename
their list to something else.
We've heard of the done list,the celebration list, the ta-da
list.
Like when you check one itemoff, you go ta-da right.
(16:46):
Like our minds justsubconsciously hates to-do lists
.
Like when we see oh to-do list,oh, we hate it.
Like our mind, we actuallynaturally tend to not even get
to it.
Right, there's resistanceautomatically.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I love the idea.
I love let's rename it I'm soold school I love to write
everything down.
So even if I have my, my elect,what do I want to call it?
Like a technical electriccalendar or scheduler.
I love paper and pen.
I love to physically checksomething.
I'll like scratch it off.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
That feels so good to me.
Yeah, yeah, and some people usepost-it notes so that when it's
done, it's throw away thepost-it note, you don't want to
see it anymore.
But do something that's moreempowering.
Instead of resisting, insteadof, you know, letting it be a
chore, it should be acelebration that you've done it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Absolutely, and it's all about celebrating those
little steps so that when you doaccomplish that big goal,
whatever it may be, you actuallycelebrate it.
Because I'm sure you've falleninto this, lucy, I know I've
fallen into this where it's like, oh, yay, we hit another goal
on our podcast and we just likemove on with the day, like it
was no big deal and we'd beenlooking forward to that for so
(18:01):
long and it's so.
It's important to even schedulein those moments of celebrating
yourself.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, that's actually one of the top things I start
my coaching calls with is to askthe client to celebrate their
wins of the week, becausesometimes, actually most of the
time, they're like, oh, Ihaven't celebrated.
But once you reallyintentionally look for the wins,
they're always there.
Big or small it's always there.
(18:27):
But if you don't celebrate it,we're always naturally looking
for the lack.
What am I lacking in my life?
Like, we're not celebrating thewins, and that's a natural
phenomenon.
But as soon as you focus onyour wins, guess what?
You're going to attract morewins, right, you're going to win
again.
What gets celebrated getsrepeated, yes, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I love that exclamation point.
That's fabulous, oh my goodness.
So when we look back over theyears, what have been a couple
of the obstacles or potholesthat you may have hit and that
you're so proud of, that you'vecelebrated, that you've overcome
, be that in any area.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Oh my goodness, there's so many potholes.
I always say that life throwsus lemons, make lemon juice with
it, right, and I think the bestversion I've heard is life
throws you lemons, but makegrapefruit juice and let
everyone wonder how did you doit?
So we don't see the behind thescenes.
(19:35):
Right, there's always, always,limits.
Oh my goodness, I can't eventhink of whether it's with
business, whether it's yourrelationship.
I think in hindsight, a lot oftimes.
I think it's about making boldmoves and making that determined
decision, like when it getsdifficult, when it gets painful,
(20:00):
when there is a heartbreak.
I think all these painful times, they are all mandatory, we all
get them.
As long as we're breathing.
We get these mandatory painfulmoments or heartbreaks.
But I think what's important isthe transformation after.
(20:22):
That's your choice when youwant to take this to.
If you're in a dark tunnel,right, do you want to stay in
the tunnel forever and be indarkness, or do you just trust
that there is light at the endof the tunnel and that, even if
you can't see the next bend,just keep on going?
(20:43):
Just, you know, have yourheadlight on, just believe that
there's light at the end of thetunnel, and that's what I
believe in that's one of mymantras in life is that I always
believe there is a way right.
There are certain things wecannot get away with.
We're born, can't change thatright, and we get sick, so we
(21:07):
can't change that.
If I come down with a flu, beit, it happens.
There's nothing I can do.
Once it happens, we age.
That's something I can't changeas well, at the end of life
there's death.
If it's not these four things,there's something you can do
(21:27):
about it.
If it's not about aging ordying or getting sick, you can
take control of it and you canmake the decision that you can
be in control or you let itcontrol you.
It's always one or the other.
So you get to make that choice.
(21:47):
And when things get hard, Ijust tell myself it's temporary.
Even life is temporary, right.
Even life is temporary, right.
So if it's temporary, there'ssomething I can do about it.
Yes, I give myself grace andtime to grieve and to feel the
(22:08):
emotions, but because I knowthat's temporary, I give myself
time, but then I expedite thehealing process.
But then I expedite the healingprocess.
I expedite myself and putmyself back because I know I
choose to be this more confidentand best version of Lucy, of
myself.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Which is beautiful, and you exude it.
You just glow.
I love that.
How can someone who's sittingat home going sounds great.
I don't know where to begin tohelp myself to feel more
confident.
Where does someone?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
start.
Yeah, baby steps, baby steps.
It becomes hard when we are atpoint A and then you're thinking
, oh, I want to get to point Z,right, but that is so daunting,
like, it seems so impossible.
When you think it's impossible,it's because you are setting
your goal.
Not that it's not big enough orsmall enough, right, because
(23:08):
the size of a goal or the, youknow what we think about it,
it's all in your mindset.
However, if you chunk down thegoal small enough, it's always
possible.
So, if you want a goal, say youokay, you want to be a million
dollar business?
Well, you got to start bymaking that first dollar.
(23:29):
So it's always possible, right,it's always possible.
So start looking at point A tojust point B.
You want to get to point Z, asin zebra, but that's far away.
Okay, well, let's only look atpoint A and B.
What's your next baby step?
That's all you need to befocusing on, and that's going to
(23:50):
seem so easy.
And hey, once you're at point B, then getting to point C would
seem a lot easier.
And I know life happens.
So sometimes maybe you're likeworking on your goal point A, b,
c and then, once you're atpoint C, you might even change
your mind.
You might even pivot, butthat's okay because that's life.
(24:13):
And guess what?
Clarity only comes with action.
So only if you take action,only if you get to point B or C
would you know if that's whatyou like to do in life or not.
Because if you are just stayingat point A for the rest of your
life, you would only bethinking about the point Zs,
(24:34):
right?
So what is that saying thatit's always better to live a
life of oh wells than what ifs?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
right, Absolutely.
And so you know, when we lookback at you a wife, a mother,
the podcast, two books andthere's a third book coming, or
the third book just is comingout right now.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yes, I have my solo book.
It is on Amazon and it's calledA Confident and Epic.
It's 21 decisions to livingyour best life.
And I am a bit advocate aboutmaking decisions because now I
get interviewed on podcasts andpeople always ask me well, lucy,
how did you get to where youare now?
(25:14):
And when I look back, it'struly the daily decisions I made
.
It's the decisions I made alongthe way that got me here.
And I think every day I mean wemake like really 30,000
decisions, but we just don'tknow right.
We decide what time we wake up.
We get to decide if we hit thesnooze button or not.
(25:35):
We get to decide what to drinkfor breakfast, what to wear.
We're constantly makingdecisions, but these small
decisions are only there to helpus live the motion of each day.
But really it's our intentional, purposeful, really the big
decisions that we make that'sgoing to shape your life.
(25:58):
So I'm really big on decisions.
Make a decision to change yourlife.
Confidence is a decision.
It's not something you're bornwith or something other people's
born with.
It's not unattainable, it'sstill possible, whether you're
introverted or extroverted.
It has nothing to do with yourpersonality, but it's really a
(26:20):
decision and what you haveenough.
Enough is not an amount.
Enough is a decision as well.
Everything in life you want isonly a decision away.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
How very true.
I love that so much.
Oh my gosh, this has been soamazing, Lucy.
You are just dropping gems leftand right.
I hope everyone has had theirpen and paper out.
If not, you know you're goingto need to rewind and start all
over again, because this is amasterclass 101 right here,
which is absolutely amazing.
So we're getting to this pointin the show, Lucy, where I
(26:55):
always ask this one question Areyou ready?
Let's do it All right.
What is one thing that no oneknows about?
Lucy Liu?
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Oh well, everyone see me because I speak on
confidence.
I am a big advocate foreverything about confidence and
you see me talking on socialmedia.
You can see me speaking aboutit, I write about it and people
automatically think that I amvery confident, I'm very
(27:29):
extroverted, I can do things,I'm powerful, but in reality I
am very introverted.
Right now I spend most of mytime alone at home and I feel
like in the room I am actuallythe quiet one in the room.
So I want everyone to know thatyou can be very calm, you can
(27:49):
be the quiet one in the room,but you can still be confident
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I love that.
I find that to be such thehidden secret of so many of us
that the reality is is thatwe're introverted homebodies and
just want to be left alone.
Oh, my goodness.
Well, as we are closing out theshow, what is one last piece of
advice or inspiration thatyou'd like to leave with us
today?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I always like to leave with that believe there is
a way.
I think that is what got methrough every bump in the road
and every obstacle, because whenyou truly just have that
mindset, your mind is open toreceive new opportunities, new
experiences, and even if itmight be a negative experience,
(28:37):
there's always a lesson learnedfrom that.
So believe there is a way.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Absolutely, that is fabulous.
Thank you so much.
Well, please share with ouraudience.
Where can they best connectwith you, learn more about you
and grab your books, Yay?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
So the best place.
If you are currently in yourfavorite podcast platform, just
hit the search button and searchfor the Lucy Liu show.
That's L-U-C-Y-L-I-U, sofueling short weekly episodes to
fuel your mind, business andlife doses of inspiration.
So start there and then you canconnect me on social media.
(29:14):
I am most active on Instagramat M-S-L-U-C-Y-L-I-U, that's at
MissLucyLiu, and pretty muchhave the same handle across all
social media.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Well and, as always, all of Lucy's information and
her links are going to be overin the show notes at
JenniferPilatescom.
Lucy, thank you so much.
This was so well worth the wait.
I can't wait to have you backagain.
We'll talk about your new bookand see where you are bringing
your confidence and shining yourlight in the world next.
(29:49):
Thanks again for having me.
Oh, thank you so much.
As we say, until next time, mayyou live an empowered life from
within.
Thank you so much for tuning into another episode.
Please remember to rate, reviewand subscribe to Empowered
(30:11):
Within with Jennifer Pilates.
Your feedback is important.
It helps me to connect with youand gives me insight into who
you are and what you're enjoyingabout the show.
For today's show notes anddiscount codes from today's
sponsors, head over toJenniferPilatescom.
Until next time, may you livean empowered life from within.
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