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How to return to self-care and self-kindness when you're struggling

What’s in This Episode

You're not failing at self-care; you're navigating something unprecedented. As we hit the end of July (yes, summer is flying by!), it's the perfect time to remember how to come back to taking care of yourself when you feel like you've been struggling.

Drawing from Dr. Julie Smith's book "Open When," this episode draws parallels between modern parenting and practicing medicine in 2025. Here's what you need to remember when you're feeling overwhelmed:

The Truth About What You're Facing

You are the first generation of physicians working with full knowledge of medicine's harm to your health. Just like parents today are the first to actively parent with awareness of emotional well-being, you're practicing medicine while explicitly knowing about:

• Physician burnout (which exploded as a topic in the last 10-15 years)
• The impossible math: The average primary care physician needs 26.7 hours per day to meet all patient needs
• The reality that your health suffers while you help others heal
• The systemic toxicity that comes with healthcare work

This knowledge didn't exist in previous generations of physicians. You're not supposed to have all the answers because there is no single right answer.

Why You Feel Disconnected (Even When Surrounded by People)

You're living in the most connected yet disconnected time in history. Being around people all day—patients, staff, colleagues—isn't the same as being emotionally connected to them. Your relational needs aren't being met just because you're never alone.

Start reconnecting with people you love first. Reach out to friends, family, your partner, your children—even your pets. Practice being present with them before trying to feel more connected at work.

The Boundary Reality Check

Boundaries are an inside job. They can't come from the outside, and they will bump up against external expectations. People expect you to be an autonomous robot without needs—but that has never served you well.

You cannot resolve everyone else's unrealistic expectations before you start taking care of yourself. That's a complete setup. You must set boundaries to continue doing the work you're called to do, because you cannot sustain this without rest and self-care.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Care

When you take care of yourself, you bring your best self to your patients and work environment. If you believe your mistakes cause lasting damage, you must also acknowledge that everything you do to prevent those mistakes brings lasting positives to your medical career.

Remember This When You're Struggling

• You're navigating challenges that didn't exist for previous generations of physicians
• You don't have perfect models for how to balance medicine with wellness
• Being around people isn't the same as being connected to them
• Boundaries will face external resistance—that doesn't make them wrong
• Taking c

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To learn more about my coaching practice and group offerings, head over to www.healthierforgood.com. I help Physicians and Allied Health Professional women to let go of toxic perfectionist and people-pleasing habits that leave them frustrated and exhausted. If you are ready to learn skills that help you set boundaries and prioritize yourself, without becoming a cynical a-hole, come work with me.

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