January 14, 2025 • 21 mins
Is your life feeling cluttered—physically, emotionally, or socially? In this episode, Justin reveals the three things you must let go of to create space for the experiences, relationships, and successes you truly desire. From clearing out physical possessions to reevaluating the places you frequent and the people in your life, this episode is packed with practical advice for creating a life filled with ease, joy, and purpose.
Justin shares personal anecdotes, thought-provoking insights, and actionable steps that will inspire you to clear your life of the unnecessary and make room for what really matters. Whether it’s tossing an old dining set or curating your social media feed, you'll discover the power of intentional decluttering in all aspects of life.
Key Highlights:
- Decluttering Things: Why holding on to "stuff" keeps you stuck—and how to let it go without guilt.
- Evaluating Places: How to identify environments that drain your energy (including digital spaces).
- Letting Go of People: How to gently and respectfully step away from relationships that no longer serve you.
- Emotional Freedom: The surprising connection between physical space and mental clarity.
- Practical Tips: How to get started with small steps that lead to big changes.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If your life is completely fullof people, places and things,
(00:05):
then how are you going to getwhat you want? How are you going
to have the new amazing,uplifting place to go to, the
new friend, the great coworkers,the great lovers? How are you
going to have the new pieces offurniture, or the new car or the
new house or the whatever it is,if there's no space for it,
(00:25):
are you ready to live a lifewith enough time, money and
energy have relationships andconnections that delight you?
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades. I'm a leader at
(00:48):
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD,welcome today talking about the
three, the three key things thatyou're going to want to get rid
(01:11):
of if you want to bring in moreof what you want this year. If
you can go through and get ridof these three things, then it
makes a lot easier for you tohave the space the room and the
ability to bring in what it isyou actually do want. So what
are these three things? And I'mgoing to give them to you in the
(01:35):
order that usually you hearthem, but then we're going to go
back in the reverse order,because it's probably going to
be a lot easier for you to totackle. So what is it? What is
it you got to get rid of you gotto get rid of people, places and
things. People, places andthings. Again, you're just like,
Justin getting rid of people.
That's why we're leaving that tothe end. We're going to start
(01:56):
with getting rid of things. Sochances are, if you've been,
like most people, you haveaccumulated some stuff. George
Carlin, one of my favoritecomedians of all time. I got to
see him perform live threetimes. A great bit on stuff that
really a house is just a placeto collect your stuff. If you
(02:16):
run out of room, it's time toget a bigger house. And if you
have a bigger house, it's timeto get more stuff. And really,
the stuff can sometimes justbecome stuff a cating or
suffocating. Anyway, his chancesare even as much stuff as you
might actually already have.
There's probably some otherstuff that you want. And he had
(02:38):
another thing, you ever noticehow your stuff is yours, your
shit is stuff, and otherpeople's stuff is shit? So you
probably do have some stuff thatis now feels like shit, and
there's some shit that's outthere that you would like to
become your stuff. So go throughand figure out. Because, I mean,
there's, there's wholeindustries around this. I've
partaken in hiring aprofessional organizer a couple
(03:00):
times in my life. Well worth it,or buy a book on it, like Marie
Kondo. I've read one of herbooks, and big thing of hers is
like, does the item spark joy ifit doesn't get rid of it? Get
rid of it. And I know for me,it's been a it's often been a
challenging thing to get rid ofstuff, because I'm often like,
(03:21):
I, you know, as as well off asI've been, you know, in
retrospect, my entire life, Idid grow up with that scarcity
mindset of like, Ooh, well, if Ineed it, Oh, I better have it.
So I better not get rid of it,because what if I need it? And,
you know, literally, I grew upin a really large house that was
packed with stuff like thenumber of rooms and the closets
(03:44):
and the attics and sub addictsand additional addicts and third
addicts and all this sorts ofstuff.
And that house recently got soldlast year, thanks to my dad for
selling that house, goingthrough all that stuff so that
it wouldn't become something forme to do in the future. So I'm
(04:04):
really grateful for that. Sothat's something to think about,
is, you know, do you wantsomebody after you were to, you
know, you could die at any time,right? So you live now plan for
the future, but also recognizethat the future is not infinite.
It's finite, and like, Would youreally want somebody else to
have to go through all of yourshit and figure out, like, how
(04:25):
do I get rid of this? No, you doit. You do it now, and you get
to reap the benefit of havingmore space. And I do think that
this pressure of, Oh, you betterkeep it, you know, or you better
be careful of how you get rid ofit, because you're you're going
to be a bad person. Like, ifyou're gonna, if you throw that,
what you're gonna throw thataway? You need to recycle that
(04:45):
well. You need to recycle thatthe correct way, or you're
giving up the value. You shouldsell that. You should put the
work. Like, I hate sellingitems. I made an attempt to
because I bought, I bought somenew furniture, I bought a new
dining set, because I want to beable to entertain. So.
I wanted a bigger table, and Ihad an old one, and I wanted to
get rid of it. And so I've triedputting it up on next next door
(05:06):
marketplace. I got the reason ofwhy I hate selling stuff to
people, because after a week ofnothing, crickets. And this is,
this is a great dining set, andat a great price, great dining
set, great price. I get some ofthose. It's still available. And
I go, yes. And then they reply,Oh, it's too big. And I just my
head wants to explode. I'm like,it was, it was too big before
(05:31):
you messaged me, before you knewit was available, not because
the dimensions are there. And soI'm just like, why the fuck
didn't you read the thing andgo, it's too big, and it's not.
It's a it's a four, it was afour person dining table. But
anyway, you know what? I'm goingto tell you, a secret of what I
did. I broke the table down andI threw it away. I threw it
(05:52):
away, and I'm going to give youpermission. It's okay to throw
stuff away within reason. AndI'm not saying throw motor oil
down the drain, not saying, putbatteries in the you know, do
your bet, do your effort to beas responsible as you can, but
you can, at some point, justthrow shit away. It's okay. You
(06:13):
don't you don't have to bemarried to your stuff, because
even when you're married topeople, you can divorce people.
So if you can divorce people,you can divorce stuff and let it
go, and oh, my place feels somuch better now because I got
the new table, I got a recliner,and I got a new and so just got
rid of a few items and I justthrew them away. Because really,
(06:36):
really shouldn't the companiesthat make the profit off of
selling us this shit. Shouldn'tthey feel just as bad, if not
worse, that they're forcing usto figure out what to do with
it? It's bullshit that we thatwe don't have the engineering
teams, the policy teams, allthese other teams of people to
figure this out. We're justindividuals, and yet I'm
(07:00):
supposed to figure out the bestway to get rid of a table, or to
get rid of a piece ofelectronics that uses, you know,
80% of the periodic table ofelements in it nowadays, like
it's it's ridiculous, andespecially if you're in a major
city, the amount of sorting andgoing through and checking and
(07:22):
things are done to make surethat the right thing goes in the
right place, and toxic stuff isnot ending up in the
environment. It's it's going tobe okay. It's going to be okay
again. Do your best. Read up onyour local you know, recycler,
garbage place. Do what? Do yourbest and then let it go the the
(07:42):
Earth can handle a lot. TheEarth can handle a lot. See,
Earth can provide a lot, andthen it can also take that shit
and recycle it. And again,compared to what mass industries
are doing your your littlestuff. And
truly, this is, this is a bigbunch of bullshit that is put
(08:03):
upon us that is like, Oh, well,you got to do your part. It's
like, no, like, your part is apoint is a small percentage of a
small percentage. The biggerissues are the bigger issues,
and we should be focusing onthat and encouraging our leaders
and our companies and ourgovernments to focus on the
(08:24):
biggest stuff so we can have aplace that we enjoy living.
Because if you have all of thisstuff, that means now you have
you, there's people to hire,there's storage places that
drives getting bigger houses. Itdrives getting organizational
equipment and on and on and onand on. So
clear out stuff in the best waypossible. And I'd say if it's
(08:47):
challenging, phone a friend orphone a professional, it's well
worth it. Get a professionalorganizer or a friend that's
good at being tidy to just helpwith that, because can have
emotional attachments to stuff.
And letting go of that emotionalattachment, that is what's going
to be as freeing, if not morethan the space. So that's the
things. Get rid of things, andyou can start small and start
(09:07):
with the easy stuff, and youdon't have to do it all in one
day. This could be a processover an entire year, or maybe it
is just you do one thing, you'relike, oh my gosh, I have I got
rid of one shirt that I'm nevergonna wear again, and then maybe
now you're like, Oh, now there'sspace for a new shirt, and you
get a shirt that lights up yourlife and makes you look good.
Feel fantastic. How great isthat gonna be? So that's things
(09:30):
next places. What are someplaces that you go to that are
not sparking joy when I firstmoved to the area that I live
now, I'm basically like equaldistance from two supermarkets.
One is a Safeway, which is sortof like you're just, you're just
(09:50):
standard middle of the roadtype, you know, anywhere in the
country, other place thecountry, maybe this would be
like a Kroger or a.
Bonds or a lucky or an HEB. Butjust this is just where anyone
and everyone it, you know, youryour common middle of the road,
you know, not too expensive, nottoo cheap, has a little bit of
(10:13):
everything. And then I got thatone that's a safe way. And then
the other one that's in, like,the opposite direction. It's,
it's called Oceana market, and Iimagine this is what Whole Foods
probably was like, like, 2530years ago, before Amazon bought
it and kind of shit a fight itlike, yeah, some of the stuff's
a little bit pricier, buteverything is phenomenal. Like,
(10:35):
everything is a high qualityproduct. Good taste, good
quality, good packaging. The thestaff is just friendly, the
place is clean and taken careof, amazingly, whereas the safe
way, I think I've only shoppedthere twice. The first time,
the shelves were half empty andawful, and it's like, okay,
(10:56):
well, so what? But, you know,maybe sometimes could. And the
thing is, the stuff isn't evenalways that cheap. It's only
cheap if it's on sale. And thenthe other time I went there, and
they do something weird wherethere's only one line to check
out, and they have an automatedsystem that tells you, like,
where to go to get to thechecker. And there's a way this
could be done that would bereally efficient. Make things go
(11:17):
super, super fast. They don't doit that fucking way. It's the
worst possible way you could dothis. It just makes it as slow
as possible to check out. Italways looks like, you know, the
when there's a run on groceriespreceding a natural disaster
and, you know, like Florida orsomething, let's Slow as hell to
check out. Not really that thatgood of pricing. And then I
(11:39):
tried going again. Because I'mlike, Well, you know, maybe I
was just having a bad day. Wentagain and the horrible line
thing. And, you know, sawsomebody like, check the line,
check the door, and they just,they just went out with their
with their full cart of stuff.
And then when I left, I saw themtalking to a police officer
about that. And I'm just likethis doesn't feel like a good
(12:00):
place, so that became a placethat I no longer go to. So I
would encourage you to gothrough the places you spend
time and what places no longergive you joy, and don't limit
this to just the physicalplaces. What about what about
the online places that youvisit? What news sites, what
apps are you? Are you visiting?
(12:23):
Where you just, you just feeleither angry or sad or upset or
just just, it's giving you thismessage just like you suck. Your
life sucks because it's like,you know, especially like a lot
of social media. If you haven'tcultivated your feed, I've
cultivated my feed, and so Ijust get bored of my feed
because it's just like, oh,people doing cool things. What
(12:44):
I'm going to go do cool things?
My feed is boring because I've,I've, your feed is really a
reflection of your mind. And ifyou want me to do, like, an
episode on how to cultivate yourfeed, I could do that, just let
me know. But yeah, your feed isa, is basically a reflection of
your mind and my feed doesn'tkeep me hooked. There's plenty
of things in life that keep mehooked, but my feet is no longer
(13:04):
one of them, because I just Idon't allow stuff on my feed
that makes me angry, makes mesad, makes like I am in control
of what is in my mind and whatis in my I still experience
those feelings because I'm stillliving life just it's not being
overly fed to me through mysocial media feeds anymore. So,
you know, where, what are theseplaces like? Is it Reddit? Is it
(13:28):
your the next door app? Is itnews sites, you know? And these,
these places could also be, youknow, what you watch on TV, the
YouTube channels. Is a podcast?
Is it books like, really gothrough and just like, hey, how?
How is this this place? How isthis place where I'm putting my
(13:51):
time and attention? How am Ifeeling? What? What is it
bringing up for me? And do Imaybe need to not spend time
here anymore, whether that'sphysically or virtually. And
third and final is people. Isreally evaluating, who do you
want in your life? And let'sstart a little bit that this is
(14:12):
one of those. I'm like, Did Iput, do I want to put this under
places? Or would I put thisunder people? But your group,
group messaging. So this couldbe through WhatsApp, Facebook,
or, you know, text messages,whatever it is, ways that maybe
you're just on a group thread,or maybe these are discord
servers. But basically you're,you're kind of like in a group
of people. Maybe it's a Facebookgroup, whatever it is, but other
(14:35):
people are putting stuff outthere, and are you, are you
picking up what they're puttingdown, and how are you feeling
about what's being picked up?
Because this is one that Irecently just did a good
cleaning on, because there havebeen a bunch of groups. It's
like, oh, many of these havebeen a part of her, you know,
maybe some of them two years ormore. But it's like, oh, wait,
(14:56):
in the past.
Year, I've written nothing intothese groups, and there's
nothing that's been posted inthese groups that I've gotten
any value. So really, it's justbeen a horrible time sink. And
what's great, and this is goingto feed into when we get to
people, people is, I didn't makea big announcement, I didn't
(15:16):
complain, I didn't go this groupis horrible. I fuck this group.
This group sucks. I justarchived it, muted it, just put
it in a place where if I everwant to go back to it, I could
go back to it, but it's now outof sight, out of mind. I won't
be getting messages. It's notgoing to be showing up, but,
yeah, it's not going to betaking up conscious space in my
(15:40):
life anymore, and it feels itfeels good, because now there's
space for me to maybe join othergroups that maybe I don't even
know about. This brings us to,maybe people that you talk to on
a one on one basis. And I havethis in my in my book, engineer
to love Go and be on successfulfillment exercise six, where
I basically had a Marie Kondo,your your contacts. It's like,
(16:01):
really, does the relationshipbring joy to your life? And if
not,either, either you have have a
discussion with that person oflike, Hey, how can we get this
back into alignment where we'rebringing each other joy or
letting the relationship go? Anddepending on the nature of that
relationship, you know, if it'sif it's like a family member,
like you live with,or like a co worker that, like
(16:25):
you have direct report, orwhatever, like you're probably
going to have to have aconversation about this right
yet, there's many people,friendships, loose
relationships, that youbasically you can just Stop
playing the game, thateffectively, they will reach out
and offer you, Hey, do you wantto? Do you want to play checkers
(16:45):
with me? And you don't have tosay yes to the offer of playing
the game. They could invite youto something. You just go, oh
no, thank you. Or, you know,maybe they say something and
there's not really need torespond, they don't respond. And
a lot of times, things just kindof move on, because sometimes
things are just done, andthere's you don't need to do
(17:09):
anything special about it. Youdon't have to have a fight. You
don't have to have a heart toheart. Again, use your judgment,
but also use your discernment toknow when it's time to say,
maybe I don't need more of thisperson in my life, not there's
anything wrong or bad with thatperson. Just it's time for new
people, and maybe it's time forthem too, and they've just been
(17:30):
doing it out of habit. So haveconscious relationships where
you are basically you're you'regetting joy from the
interaction, because if you'refeeling joy, then you're putting
that joy out, and they're goingto feel so much more joy. So
this really is about how can youput as much joy out into the
world and allow joy in? Becausewhat comes in goes out, and if
(17:53):
you're overwhelmed with all ofthe shit, of the stuff and the
places that you don't enjoy, andthe people you don't enjoy just
covered in shit and your lifestinks, then you're just
stinking up your wholeenvironment and all these other
people's lives, and that'sawful. It's all for you and it's
(18:15):
all for other people. So do itfor other people, think of the
legacy you're leaving each andevery day by how you feel, how
you're being an example, and howyou're allowing the space for
for who, what and where youreally want in your life.
Because if your life iscompletely full of people,
(18:36):
places and things, then how areyou going to get what you want?
How are you going to have thenew amazing, uplifting place to
go to, the new the new friend,the great co workers, the great
lovers. How are you going tohave, you know, the new pieces
of furniture, or the new car orthe new house or the whatever it
(18:57):
is, if there's no space for it,because currently there's only
so much, so much space that weare able to have in so many
ways. Like, yes, expansion ispossible. Yet here part of, part
of the grand experiment of beingalive on this earth is there.
We're playing with somewhatfinite, or at least, things
(19:21):
can't become infinite,infinitely small amount of time.
So it's like there's there'slimits, which makes for a fun
game to play. And so play thegame. Have fun with it. If
you're not having fun, changethe game. Be the player that
enjoys playing the game, becausethat's really all there is, is
(19:41):
to enjoy playing, to enjoyliving your life, to enjoy the
things that are in your life, toenjoy the places that you visit,
to enjoy the people that you'rewith. And just because you're
not enjoying those thingsdoesn't mean there's anything
wrong with any of that stuff.
It's just the signal that it'sprobably.
Time to let some of that go andallow the space for new stuff.
(20:03):
So thank you so much. I'm reallyexcited to hear maybe what
people, places and things you'regonna let go of, and so, you
know, make sure to send me thatin the social media or the email
and so happy new year to thoseof you. I think I could still
say that it's still earlyJanuary, even though, like, oh
(20:24):
my gosh, is this January overalready? But yeah, with that,
thank you so much and good day.
Thanks for tuning in toengineering emotions and energy
with Justin Wenck PhD, today'sepisode resonated with you.
Please subscribe and leave afive star review. Your feedback
not only supports the show, butalso helps others find us and
start their journey of emotionaland energetic mastery. You can
(20:46):
also help by sharing thispodcast with someone you think
will love it just as much as youdo together, we're engineering
more amazing lives you
If your life is completely fullof people, places and things,
(00:05):
then how are you going to getwhat you want? How are you going
to have the new amazing,uplifting place to go to, the
new friend, the great coworkers,the great lovers? How are you
going to have the new pieces offurniture, or the new car or the
new house or the whatever it is,if there's no space for it,
(00:25):
are you ready to live a lifewith enough time, money and
energy have relationships andconnections that delight you?
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades. I'm a leader at
(00:48):
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD,welcome today talking about the
three, the three key things thatyou're going to want to get rid
(01:11):
of if you want to bring in moreof what you want this year. If
you can go through and get ridof these three things, then it
makes a lot easier for you tohave the space the room and the
ability to bring in what it isyou actually do want. So what
are these three things? And I'mgoing to give them to you in the
(01:35):
order that usually you hearthem, but then we're going to go
back in the reverse order,because it's probably going to
be a lot easier for you to totackle. So what is it? What is
it you got to get rid of you gotto get rid of people, places and
things. People, places andthings. Again, you're just like,
Justin getting rid of people.
That's why we're leaving that tothe end. We're going to start
(01:56):
with getting rid of things. Sochances are, if you've been,
like most people, you haveaccumulated some stuff. George
Carlin, one of my favoritecomedians of all time. I got to
see him perform live threetimes. A great bit on stuff that
really a house is just a placeto collect your stuff. If you
(02:16):
run out of room, it's time toget a bigger house. And if you
have a bigger house, it's timeto get more stuff. And really,
the stuff can sometimes justbecome stuff a cating or
suffocating. Anyway, his chancesare even as much stuff as you
might actually already have.
There's probably some otherstuff that you want. And he had
(02:38):
another thing, you ever noticehow your stuff is yours, your
shit is stuff, and otherpeople's stuff is shit? So you
probably do have some stuff thatis now feels like shit, and
there's some shit that's outthere that you would like to
become your stuff. So go throughand figure out. Because, I mean,
there's, there's wholeindustries around this. I've
partaken in hiring aprofessional organizer a couple
(03:00):
times in my life. Well worth it,or buy a book on it, like Marie
Kondo. I've read one of herbooks, and big thing of hers is
like, does the item spark joy ifit doesn't get rid of it? Get
rid of it. And I know for me,it's been a it's often been a
challenging thing to get rid ofstuff, because I'm often like,
(03:21):
I, you know, as as well off asI've been, you know, in
retrospect, my entire life, Idid grow up with that scarcity
mindset of like, Ooh, well, if Ineed it, Oh, I better have it.
So I better not get rid of it,because what if I need it? And,
you know, literally, I grew upin a really large house that was
packed with stuff like thenumber of rooms and the closets
(03:44):
and the attics and sub addictsand additional addicts and third
addicts and all this sorts ofstuff.
And that house recently got soldlast year, thanks to my dad for
selling that house, goingthrough all that stuff so that
it wouldn't become something forme to do in the future. So I'm
(04:04):
really grateful for that. Sothat's something to think about,
is, you know, do you wantsomebody after you were to, you
know, you could die at any time,right? So you live now plan for
the future, but also recognizethat the future is not infinite.
It's finite, and like, Would youreally want somebody else to
have to go through all of yourshit and figure out, like, how
(04:25):
do I get rid of this? No, you doit. You do it now, and you get
to reap the benefit of havingmore space. And I do think that
this pressure of, Oh, you betterkeep it, you know, or you better
be careful of how you get rid ofit, because you're you're going
to be a bad person. Like, ifyou're gonna, if you throw that,
what you're gonna throw thataway? You need to recycle that
(04:45):
well. You need to recycle thatthe correct way, or you're
giving up the value. You shouldsell that. You should put the
work. Like, I hate sellingitems. I made an attempt to
because I bought, I bought somenew furniture, I bought a new
dining set, because I want to beable to entertain. So.
I wanted a bigger table, and Ihad an old one, and I wanted to
get rid of it. And so I've triedputting it up on next next door
(05:06):
marketplace. I got the reason ofwhy I hate selling stuff to
people, because after a week ofnothing, crickets. And this is,
this is a great dining set, andat a great price, great dining
set, great price. I get some ofthose. It's still available. And
I go, yes. And then they reply,Oh, it's too big. And I just my
head wants to explode. I'm like,it was, it was too big before
(05:31):
you messaged me, before you knewit was available, not because
the dimensions are there. And soI'm just like, why the fuck
didn't you read the thing andgo, it's too big, and it's not.
It's a it's a four, it was afour person dining table. But
anyway, you know what? I'm goingto tell you, a secret of what I
did. I broke the table down andI threw it away. I threw it
(05:52):
away, and I'm going to give youpermission. It's okay to throw
stuff away within reason. AndI'm not saying throw motor oil
down the drain, not saying, putbatteries in the you know, do
your bet, do your effort to beas responsible as you can, but
you can, at some point, justthrow shit away. It's okay. You
(06:13):
don't you don't have to bemarried to your stuff, because
even when you're married topeople, you can divorce people.
So if you can divorce people,you can divorce stuff and let it
go, and oh, my place feels somuch better now because I got
the new table, I got a recliner,and I got a new and so just got
rid of a few items and I justthrew them away. Because really,
(06:36):
really shouldn't the companiesthat make the profit off of
selling us this shit. Shouldn'tthey feel just as bad, if not
worse, that they're forcing usto figure out what to do with
it? It's bullshit that we thatwe don't have the engineering
teams, the policy teams, allthese other teams of people to
figure this out. We're justindividuals, and yet I'm
(07:00):
supposed to figure out the bestway to get rid of a table, or to
get rid of a piece ofelectronics that uses, you know,
80% of the periodic table ofelements in it nowadays, like
it's it's ridiculous, andespecially if you're in a major
city, the amount of sorting andgoing through and checking and
(07:22):
things are done to make surethat the right thing goes in the
right place, and toxic stuff isnot ending up in the
environment. It's it's going tobe okay. It's going to be okay
again. Do your best. Read up onyour local you know, recycler,
garbage place. Do what? Do yourbest and then let it go the the
(07:42):
Earth can handle a lot. TheEarth can handle a lot. See,
Earth can provide a lot, andthen it can also take that shit
and recycle it. And again,compared to what mass industries
are doing your your littlestuff. And
truly, this is, this is a bigbunch of bullshit that is put
(08:03):
upon us that is like, Oh, well,you got to do your part. It's
like, no, like, your part is apoint is a small percentage of a
small percentage. The biggerissues are the bigger issues,
and we should be focusing onthat and encouraging our leaders
and our companies and ourgovernments to focus on the
(08:24):
biggest stuff so we can have aplace that we enjoy living.
Because if you have all of thisstuff, that means now you have
you, there's people to hire,there's storage places that
drives getting bigger houses. Itdrives getting organizational
equipment and on and on and onand on. So
clear out stuff in the best waypossible. And I'd say if it's
(08:47):
challenging, phone a friend orphone a professional, it's well
worth it. Get a professionalorganizer or a friend that's
good at being tidy to just helpwith that, because can have
emotional attachments to stuff.
And letting go of that emotionalattachment, that is what's going
to be as freeing, if not morethan the space. So that's the
things. Get rid of things, andyou can start small and start
(09:07):
with the easy stuff, and youdon't have to do it all in one
day. This could be a processover an entire year, or maybe it
is just you do one thing, you'relike, oh my gosh, I have I got
rid of one shirt that I'm nevergonna wear again, and then maybe
now you're like, Oh, now there'sspace for a new shirt, and you
get a shirt that lights up yourlife and makes you look good.
Feel fantastic. How great isthat gonna be? So that's things
(09:30):
next places. What are someplaces that you go to that are
not sparking joy when I firstmoved to the area that I live
now, I'm basically like equaldistance from two supermarkets.
One is a Safeway, which is sortof like you're just, you're just
(09:50):
standard middle of the roadtype, you know, anywhere in the
country, other place thecountry, maybe this would be
like a Kroger or a.
Bonds or a lucky or an HEB. Butjust this is just where anyone
and everyone it, you know, youryour common middle of the road,
you know, not too expensive, nottoo cheap, has a little bit of
(10:13):
everything. And then I got thatone that's a safe way. And then
the other one that's in, like,the opposite direction. It's,
it's called Oceana market, and Iimagine this is what Whole Foods
probably was like, like, 2530years ago, before Amazon bought
it and kind of shit a fight itlike, yeah, some of the stuff's
a little bit pricier, buteverything is phenomenal. Like,
(10:35):
everything is a high qualityproduct. Good taste, good
quality, good packaging. The thestaff is just friendly, the
place is clean and taken careof, amazingly, whereas the safe
way, I think I've only shoppedthere twice. The first time,
the shelves were half empty andawful, and it's like, okay,
(10:56):
well, so what? But, you know,maybe sometimes could. And the
thing is, the stuff isn't evenalways that cheap. It's only
cheap if it's on sale. And thenthe other time I went there, and
they do something weird wherethere's only one line to check
out, and they have an automatedsystem that tells you, like,
where to go to get to thechecker. And there's a way this
could be done that would bereally efficient. Make things go
(11:17):
super, super fast. They don't doit that fucking way. It's the
worst possible way you could dothis. It just makes it as slow
as possible to check out. Italways looks like, you know, the
when there's a run on groceriespreceding a natural disaster
and, you know, like Florida orsomething, let's Slow as hell to
check out. Not really that thatgood of pricing. And then I
(11:39):
tried going again. Because I'mlike, Well, you know, maybe I
was just having a bad day. Wentagain and the horrible line
thing. And, you know, sawsomebody like, check the line,
check the door, and they just,they just went out with their
with their full cart of stuff.
And then when I left, I saw themtalking to a police officer
about that. And I'm just likethis doesn't feel like a good
(12:00):
place, so that became a placethat I no longer go to. So I
would encourage you to gothrough the places you spend
time and what places no longergive you joy, and don't limit
this to just the physicalplaces. What about what about
the online places that youvisit? What news sites, what
apps are you? Are you visiting?
(12:23):
Where you just, you just feeleither angry or sad or upset or
just just, it's giving you thismessage just like you suck. Your
life sucks because it's like,you know, especially like a lot
of social media. If you haven'tcultivated your feed, I've
cultivated my feed, and so Ijust get bored of my feed
because it's just like, oh,people doing cool things. What
(12:44):
I'm going to go do cool things?
My feed is boring because I've,I've, your feed is really a
reflection of your mind. And ifyou want me to do, like, an
episode on how to cultivate yourfeed, I could do that, just let
me know. But yeah, your feed isa, is basically a reflection of
your mind and my feed doesn'tkeep me hooked. There's plenty
of things in life that keep mehooked, but my feet is no longer
(13:04):
one of them, because I just Idon't allow stuff on my feed
that makes me angry, makes mesad, makes like I am in control
of what is in my mind and whatis in my I still experience
those feelings because I'm stillliving life just it's not being
overly fed to me through mysocial media feeds anymore. So,
you know, where, what are theseplaces like? Is it Reddit? Is it
(13:28):
your the next door app? Is itnews sites, you know? And these,
these places could also be, youknow, what you watch on TV, the
YouTube channels. Is a podcast?
Is it books like, really gothrough and just like, hey, how?
How is this this place? How isthis place where I'm putting my
(13:51):
time and attention? How am Ifeeling? What? What is it
bringing up for me? And do Imaybe need to not spend time
here anymore, whether that'sphysically or virtually. And
third and final is people. Isreally evaluating, who do you
want in your life? And let'sstart a little bit that this is
(14:12):
one of those. I'm like, Did Iput, do I want to put this under
places? Or would I put thisunder people? But your group,
group messaging. So this couldbe through WhatsApp, Facebook,
or, you know, text messages,whatever it is, ways that maybe
you're just on a group thread,or maybe these are discord
servers. But basically you're,you're kind of like in a group
of people. Maybe it's a Facebookgroup, whatever it is, but other
(14:35):
people are putting stuff outthere, and are you, are you
picking up what they're puttingdown, and how are you feeling
about what's being picked up?
Because this is one that Irecently just did a good
cleaning on, because there havebeen a bunch of groups. It's
like, oh, many of these havebeen a part of her, you know,
maybe some of them two years ormore. But it's like, oh, wait,
(14:56):
in the past.
Year, I've written nothing intothese groups, and there's
nothing that's been posted inthese groups that I've gotten
any value. So really, it's justbeen a horrible time sink. And
what's great, and this is goingto feed into when we get to
people, people is, I didn't makea big announcement, I didn't
(15:16):
complain, I didn't go this groupis horrible. I fuck this group.
This group sucks. I justarchived it, muted it, just put
it in a place where if I everwant to go back to it, I could
go back to it, but it's now outof sight, out of mind. I won't
be getting messages. It's notgoing to be showing up, but,
yeah, it's not going to betaking up conscious space in my
(15:40):
life anymore, and it feels itfeels good, because now there's
space for me to maybe join othergroups that maybe I don't even
know about. This brings us to,maybe people that you talk to on
a one on one basis. And I havethis in my in my book, engineer
to love Go and be on successfulfillment exercise six, where
I basically had a Marie Kondo,your your contacts. It's like,
(16:01):
really, does the relationshipbring joy to your life? And if
not,either, either you have have a
discussion with that person oflike, Hey, how can we get this
back into alignment where we'rebringing each other joy or
letting the relationship go? Anddepending on the nature of that
relationship, you know, if it'sif it's like a family member,
like you live with,or like a co worker that, like
(16:25):
you have direct report, orwhatever, like you're probably
going to have to have aconversation about this right
yet, there's many people,friendships, loose
relationships, that youbasically you can just Stop
playing the game, thateffectively, they will reach out
and offer you, Hey, do you wantto? Do you want to play checkers
(16:45):
with me? And you don't have tosay yes to the offer of playing
the game. They could invite youto something. You just go, oh
no, thank you. Or, you know,maybe they say something and
there's not really need torespond, they don't respond. And
a lot of times, things just kindof move on, because sometimes
things are just done, andthere's you don't need to do
(17:09):
anything special about it. Youdon't have to have a fight. You
don't have to have a heart toheart. Again, use your judgment,
but also use your discernment toknow when it's time to say,
maybe I don't need more of thisperson in my life, not there's
anything wrong or bad with thatperson. Just it's time for new
people, and maybe it's time forthem too, and they've just been
(17:30):
doing it out of habit. So haveconscious relationships where
you are basically you're you'regetting joy from the
interaction, because if you'refeeling joy, then you're putting
that joy out, and they're goingto feel so much more joy. So
this really is about how can youput as much joy out into the
world and allow joy in? Becausewhat comes in goes out, and if
(17:53):
you're overwhelmed with all ofthe shit, of the stuff and the
places that you don't enjoy, andthe people you don't enjoy just
covered in shit and your lifestinks, then you're just
stinking up your wholeenvironment and all these other
people's lives, and that'sawful. It's all for you and it's
(18:15):
all for other people. So do itfor other people, think of the
legacy you're leaving each andevery day by how you feel, how
you're being an example, and howyou're allowing the space for
for who, what and where youreally want in your life.
Because if your life iscompletely full of people,
(18:36):
places and things, then how areyou going to get what you want?
How are you going to have thenew amazing, uplifting place to
go to, the new the new friend,the great co workers, the great
lovers. How are you going tohave, you know, the new pieces
of furniture, or the new car orthe new house or the whatever it
(18:57):
is, if there's no space for it,because currently there's only
so much, so much space that weare able to have in so many
ways. Like, yes, expansion ispossible. Yet here part of, part
of the grand experiment of beingalive on this earth is there.
We're playing with somewhatfinite, or at least, things
(19:21):
can't become infinite,infinitely small amount of time.
So it's like there's there'slimits, which makes for a fun
game to play. And so play thegame. Have fun with it. If
you're not having fun, changethe game. Be the player that
enjoys playing the game, becausethat's really all there is, is
(19:41):
to enjoy playing, to enjoyliving your life, to enjoy the
things that are in your life, toenjoy the places that you visit,
to enjoy the people that you'rewith. And just because you're
not enjoying those thingsdoesn't mean there's anything
wrong with any of that stuff.
It's just the signal that it'sprobably.
Time to let some of that go andallow the space for new stuff.
(20:03):
So thank you so much. I'm reallyexcited to hear maybe what
people, places and things you'regonna let go of, and so, you
know, make sure to send me thatin the social media or the email
and so happy new year to thoseof you. I think I could still
say that it's still earlyJanuary, even though, like, oh
(20:24):
my gosh, is this January overalready? But yeah, with that,
thank you so much and good day.
Thanks for tuning in toengineering emotions and energy
with Justin Wenck PhD, today'sepisode resonated with you.
Please subscribe and leave afive star review. Your feedback
not only supports the show, butalso helps others find us and
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(20:46):
also help by sharing thispodcast with someone you think
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