August 19, 2025 • 18 mins
What if the thing you think is holding you back… is actually the thing that sets you free?
We’re talking about structure.
The rules. The routines. The shoulds.
You might love ‘em or want to burn them to the ground.
But here’s the truth: structure isn’t the problem.
It’s the kind of structure—and your relationship to it—that determines whether it supports your expansion… or strangles your spirit.
In this, I unpack how to consciously create structure that fuels your joy, your creativity, your relationships, and your results.
✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:
- Why do we default to rigid or rebellious structures without even realizing it
- The influence of militarized thinking in our schools, work, and culture
- How feminine energy flows inside masculine structure—and why both matter
- A simple framework to build a structure that actually serves your goals
- Real-life examples (from Cirque du Soleil to childhood playgrounds) that show why safety = space to play
- How to give your habits time to earn your trust
- What to do if you’ve been living in chaos, rigidity—or both
🎁 Ready to rebuild your relationship with structure?
Start here:
- 📘 Get the Book: Engineered to Love
- 💬 Work With Me 1-on-1
- 📥 Join the Email List for Events & New Episodes
- 💫 Share this episode with someone who’s craving clarity with flow.
Watch the full video episode at Justin Wenck, Ph.D. YouTube Channel!
Check out my best-selling book "Engineered to Love: Going Beyond Success to Fulfillment" also available on Audiobook on all streaming platforms! Go to https://www.engineeredtolove.com/ to learn more!
Got a question or comment about the show? E-mail me at podcast@justinwenck.com.
Remember to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode! Connect with me:
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Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, music and pics belong to the rightful owners.
=====================================================
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Justin Wenck (00:00):
CHAOS with some structure leads to creativity,
(00:02):
but chaos, for the sake ofchaos, is just chaos. There's no
boundary. There's no kind of funof like, oh, what happens if I
get up to the edge? Maybe, whathappens if I go a little bit
over so it can allow for a lotmore excitement and magic when
you have the structure, butagain, you're doing the
structure for a purpose, notbecause somebody told you so,
(00:23):
and because you're bad or you'rewrong or that you're hurting
people because you go againstthe structure. The rules are
there for a purpose. And if youdon't know what the purpose is,
find it out or figure out whatthe purpose is, and then start
to shift the rules, thestructure, the habits, so that
it matches and allows for thatpurpose to come into alignment.
(00:46):
But this sense of structure thatyou create is going to allow you
to feel safe, so you can reallyplay, so you can really create,
so you can use that whole space,and maybe, you know, you do play
around with the boundaries alittle bit.
Are you ready to live a lifewith enough time, money and
energy have relationships andconnections that delight you?
(01:09):
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades, I'm a leader at
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
(01:32):
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD, hi, theretoday talking about, what is
your relationship to structure?
And I mean not just, you know,the buildings, the roads,
although there could besomething to that, but the
(01:54):
structure that you encounter inyour life. What are the ways
that things are supposed to be,and what are the rules to be
followed, the regulations, theprocesses or even the habits,
and then what's yourrelationship to these that's
what we're going to be goingover in today's show. So start
thinking about, you know, do youlike it when things are a set
(02:17):
way and this is like, this ishow it's going to be, or does
that give you a little anxiety?
And it's like, fuck that. I wantto be a rebel. I want to do it
my way. You can't tell me whatto do. I'm a free spirit. I'm
going to do it the way I want todo it, not the way anyone tells
me to. In fact, somebody tellsme to do it one way or another.
You better believe I'm not doingit that way anyway. But to start
(02:40):
to consider these things, andwe're going to go into like, how
your relationship with variousforms of structure might be
serving you, because it's notall way or the other. Like many
things, it's often about findingthe balance that works for you,
and also are you able to get outof balance at the appropriate
time and then get back intobalance when it's time to get
(03:03):
back into balance. So structurein my life, I have found, you
know, because I'm an electricalengineer, so there's definitely
aspects of me that just love,love structure, that this is the
way to do it. You do it thisway. Everybody does it this way.
It's partially a little bit ofmy German heritage. I lived in
Germany for a while, and therewas parts of it I loved, because
(03:26):
the Germans there is a way to dothings. It's one of the reasons
the Autobahn works there andwould not work anywhere else,
especially the United States,because there's a way to drive
if you are passing, you go inthe left lane and you pass, if
you are just cruising or you arenot passing, you get over to the
right. And if you, for somereason, make a mistake, and you
(03:49):
are cruising or going slow inthat left lane, and somebody
comes up behind you wanting topass, and they flash their
lights or honk their horn. Doyou know what a German does?
They move over and get out ofthe way. That's incredible. Do
you know what happens here inthe United States if, if you
were to come up behind somebodyand flash your lights and honk
(04:12):
your horn, oh, now they're gonnafucking obstruct. There's Who
are you to tell them how todrive. They got they're driving.
It's their lane their way. Fuckyou. Now I'm going to get in
your way and obstruct you andshow you who's boss. So culture
has a part of it. Yourupbringing has a part of it, and
then your personality has a partto it. And so for sure, going to
(04:35):
school, lots and lots of school,lots of tests, lots of studying,
lots of rules, lots ofequations, lots of formulas. So
lots and lots of structure iswhat I grew up with. And chances
are, if you went to school inthe US or in the Western world,
you had lots of structure oneway or another. And that's one
of the things that I started torealize, is that, for the most
(04:57):
part, we all, whether you know,we. We are aware or not, or it
was explicit or not, have a biginfluence of sort of a
militarized way of being that,you know, this is, there's,
there's a way to do things, andif you're out of the bounds,
then it's, it's wrong, andthere's something wrong with
(05:18):
you. And so this goes, you know,to how our schooling is and how
a lot of our workplaces are. Ifyou really look at how a well
formed military functions,you'll probably see that there's
a lot of that influence in mostaspects of your life. And you
might even say, well, oh waitno, my I work at a I work at a
(05:39):
startup, and we're very looseygoosey and things like that. And
oftentimes, when there'ssomething that we don't like, we
don't actually create what it iswe want. We just recruit. We
just react to it, and we do theopposite. So a lot of these, you
know, oh, of really, really openways of working, they're more
(06:00):
just a response to that sort ofmilitarized of working,
thinking, being doing, and so isthat really a way of being free
and independently creating? I'mgoing to submit that absolutely
not that it's still, it's stilljust bringing along that very
structured, overly rigid,militarized way of thinking and
(06:23):
doing. So am I saying that wejust got to get rid of structure
altogether and like, reallychoose to, like, really do
whatever we want? Actually, notat all, because structure is
important, but it's the type ofstructure and the purpose of why
the structure is there in thefirst place. Because one way to
(06:45):
think of structure is in termsof masculine energies and
feminine energies. And so amasculine is all about
structure, a container safety,ways of doing things that can
ensure that there's a space forwhat is meant to go in that,
what is meant to go into that.
That's where the feminineenergies come in. That's the
(07:06):
creation, that's the flow,that's the I don't know what,
but I'm going to fill it withsomething really cool and
amazing, and I don't exactlyknow what it is yet. And you
look at any kind of art, andyou're going to see this
interplay of structure thatallows for the creativity the
space. So think of painting.
(07:30):
What's the structure? It's thecanvas. It's that blank piece of
rectangle, and the painting goesin the rectangle. Now you might
think of like there's other artsthat sometimes play with that,
like Banksy, turning otherthings into a canvas, and
there's other artists that willsometimes, you know, paint on
the canvas and then paint on thewall, or do something that's out
(07:53):
of the canvas. Yet the canvas isstill important to sort of
define where to create. So evenwhen it's Banksy on a building
or something like that, there'sstill like that has become the
canvas, effectively, andthinking of dance, if there's no
floor, there's there's no dance,there's nothing to push and jump
(08:15):
and go against and provide thatfriction and all that other
stuff. You know, we see that,you know, move the dance,
instead of on a on a dance flooror a stage, into the water with
synchronized swimming. It'sstill something, but it's
definitely different, right? Sothe structure is going to
influence what you can createand how you're able to create.
(08:38):
And you might be going Justin,I'm, I have no interest in being
an artist, a dancer, any of thisthings. I've got a business to
run, right? And your business isgoing to require some structure,
and you're likely consciously orunconsciously creating a
structure that's either just apulled over from what's been
(08:58):
done or a response to it eitherway, you're not actually
crafting the structure based onwhat it is you're wanting to do.
And so it's noticing whatstructures don't work,
that are both traditional andalso non traditional, and
creating your own structure thatworks for what it is you're
trying to accomplish. So there'sa little bit of, you're going to
(09:22):
need a structure in how youcreate your structure, right?
And then you're going to have totest it, try it out. So like, a
little bit of, like thispodcast, it's like podcast, it's
like, well, that's got to beevery single week, or that's got
to be every single day, fivedays a week, right? Like a lot
of, a lot of really popularpodcasters, YouTubes, it's like
(09:44):
they do daily or what. But thenthere's also the like, Well, I'm
just going to do it whenever Ifeel like it, you know? I'm
going to do it whenever I want.
And the thing is, is if I justdo it whenever I want, then I'm
not having. A set time to beable to, like, create and put,
get into this mode where I'mgoing to share something with
you in a way that is unique andfun and exciting, but I also
(10:07):
don't have to do it every singleday or even every week, which is
why currently I'm doing everyother week, not super common,
but it's still structure, and itworks for me, my business. And
ideally, if you're subscribing,it's working for you, like maybe
you want more, maybe you wantless, but this is what it is,
(10:31):
and you can count on that.
And again, structures can changeand shift. At some point, maybe
I'll go once a week, maybe I'llgo once a month. We'll see. But
you know, it's going to be aconscious decision based off of
what are my goals and whatserves both me and the people
that I'm serving and the mediumand things like that. And so
(10:53):
when it comes to your business,you know, or your life, or your
relationships, stop trying to,just like, go against the
structure and try to see what'sthe structure that's going to
serve what it is you want tocreate in your life. Because,
again, like, if you want to meetpeople, you need some structure
to go out and meet people just,you know, sitting around and
(11:17):
doing nothing, because it'slike, well, all the other ways
haven't, worked. Like, that's,that's a response that's not
going to work. But also beingmaybe highly overly rigid, and,
you know, it's like, oh, this isthe way that you go and meet
people. Is you go do thisactivity, then this activity,
then this activity. Maybe thatdoesn't work. So finding a
structure of something like,Well, I'm going to, you know,
(11:39):
look for things in thiscategory, so that I can meet
people that are interested inthe things that I'm interested
in, then that's some structureto like, you know, your social,
relational, whatever. And soit's finding that structure
that's going to support you andwhat you want to do. And when
you go through it this way, thisalso allows you to have some
(12:01):
creativity and some flow in thestructure. Yet, remember, the
structure does require beingstable for an amount of time, to
allow some safety to ease intoand to just allow to explore
that space that the structure isactually providing. You know,
for example, for going to thestage thing. If the stage starts
(12:22):
moving around or shifting,that's that it's like, Well,
wait, I don't know if I canactually go stand there or dance
there, because maybe something'sgoing to happen to it. Good
example of this is Cirque deSoleil. They have a show, I
think they still have it, calledKa it's in Las Vegas where the
(12:43):
stage actually moves around.
It's a feat of mechanicalengineering, where the stage can
go up and down and rotate andshift and again, the whole thing
is planned with this. Soeverybody knows what's going to
happen next. So to, you know,the audience, it's like, oh my
gosh, that person was climbing,climbing up the stage, and then
(13:05):
part of the stage just sort ofdisappears. Now, the person,
like, falls down. The personknows that there's probably a
pad that they're going to besafe. We know that everyone's
going to be safe. And so it cana lot it's a whole other level,
right? So, but you need somestructure like that. Stage is
doing the same thing everynight. They're not changing how
(13:27):
the stage moves every show,because that would be chaos
dangerous. And if you'rechanging your structure, you
know every day or depending onwhat it is, every week or even a
month, depending on what it is,it's probably causing some chaos
and some friction and someuncertainty, because structure
creates a sense of safety, whichcan allow us to really play and
be creative. There's a, therewas a study that was done, and I
(13:49):
heard it was in Eastern Europe,where they're like, oh, let's,
you know, have we have anelementary school, or, I don't
know, school age kids that liketo, you know, play. Let's see
what happens. If they don't haveany fences, they have free
reign. It turned out thatbecause there wasn't a set to
find boundary, most of thechildren just played really
(14:11):
close to, you know, where thebuildings were, because it felt
safe when they later went backand they put the fences back up.
The children played in theentire space, all the way up to
the fence, because they knewthat the whole region was safe
and it was okay, and thatnothing bad would happen. And so
this sense of structure that youcreate again is going to allow
(14:34):
you to feel safe, so you canreally play, so you can really
create, so you can use thatwhole space. And maybe, you
know, you do play around withthe boundaries a little bit,
because that's fun sometimes,right? If there's no there's no
boundary, there's no there's nokind of fun of like, oh, what
happens if I get up to the edge?
(14:55):
Maybe, what happens if I go alittle bit over, right? So it
can allow. A lot more excitementand magic when you have the
structure, but again, it'syou're doing the structure for a
purpose, not because somebodytold you so, and because you're
bad or you're wrong or thatyou're hurting people because
(15:15):
you go against the structure.
You know the rules are there fora purpose, and if you don't know
what the purpose is, find itout, or figure out what the
purpose is, and then start toshift the rules, the structure,
the habits, so that it matchesand allows for that purpose to
come into alignment. So itreally is about the, you know.
(15:36):
Again, this is like, you know,we talked about how it's like
masculine and feminine workingtogether, the yin and the yang.
They go together, they supporteach other for this beautiful
dance of life and creation thatallows you to create beautiful
relationships, beautiful body,beautiful business and beautiful
adventures and experiences. Soagain, and I encourage you to
(16:00):
see what's your relationshipwith structure. You know, the
rules, the regulations, thehabits, the things that you
believe have to be this way, andare you too far one way or the
other, and what's some structurethat you could lovingly bring
into your life and your world.
(16:21):
And then loving that yourcreation enough to give your new
structures a chance, right? Cuzit's like with this podcast, or,
you know, with a way of eatingor a way of exercising or a way
of, you know, getting mybusiness out there, if I don't
do it for a certain amount oftime, to see, to get to start to
(16:44):
trust it and allow it to do itsmagic. I'm just going to be
wanting to change it all overthe place, and it's going to
create chaos. And again, chaosisn't a total bad thing, but
it's how do you use the chaosand structure? The chaos, chaos
with some structure, leads tocreativity, but chaos, for the
sake of chaos, is just chaos,and there's probably not that
(17:07):
you're going to ultimately enjoyin pure, unbridled chaos. I
might be wrong. I've given it ago, and I do find that some
structure, consciously createdcan allow for so much more fun,
so much more enjoyment, and suchamazing impact and results. And
(17:27):
so with that, I'd like to hearwhat your take is. So let me
know you know by a comment ormessaging me on the social
medias. Justin Wenck, PhD, whatare your thoughts? What's your
relationship to structure, andwhat's an area where maybe you
could maybe shift yourstructure, you know, maybe
loosen it a little bit, or maybetighten something. So I'd really
(17:50):
love to hear that. And again, ifit's something where, like, you
want some support, that's one ofthe things where I'm really
great to work with. My Bookengineer to love also has some
ways to maybe figure out, like,where there's some some things
that maybe could use someshifting, or some changing, or
just giving you some reflectionsof where you're at. So then you
can figure out, well, where,where do you really want to be?
(18:11):
And with that, I want to thankyou so much and good day. Thanks
for tuning in to engineeringemotions and energy with Justin
Wenck PhD, today's episoderesonated with you. Please
subscribe and leave a five starreview. Your feedback not only
supports the show, but alsohelps others find us and start
their journey of emotional andenergetic mastery. You can also
(18:33):
help by sharing this podcastwith someone you think will love
it just as much as you do.
Together, we're engineering moreamazing lives you think.
CHAOS with some structure leads to creativity,
(00:02):
but chaos, for the sake ofchaos, is just chaos. There's no
boundary. There's no kind of funof like, oh, what happens if I
get up to the edge? Maybe, whathappens if I go a little bit
over so it can allow for a lotmore excitement and magic when
you have the structure, butagain, you're doing the
structure for a purpose, notbecause somebody told you so,
(00:23):
and because you're bad or you'rewrong or that you're hurting
people because you go againstthe structure. The rules are
there for a purpose. And if youdon't know what the purpose is,
find it out or figure out whatthe purpose is, and then start
to shift the rules, thestructure, the habits, so that
it matches and allows for thatpurpose to come into alignment.
(00:46):
But this sense of structure thatyou create is going to allow you
to feel safe, so you can reallyplay, so you can really create,
so you can use that whole space,and maybe, you know, you do play
around with the boundaries alittle bit.
Are you ready to live a lifewith enough time, money and
energy have relationships andconnections that delight you?
(01:09):
Are you ready for theextraordinary life you know
you've been missing? If so, thenthis is the place for you. I'm a
best selling author, coach,consultant and speaker who's
worked in technology for overtwo decades, I'm a leader at
transforming people andorganizations from operating in
fear, obligation and guilt torunning off joy, ease and love.
(01:32):
It's time for engineeringemotions and energy with me.
Justin Wenck, PhD, hi, theretoday talking about, what is
your relationship to structure?
And I mean not just, you know,the buildings, the roads,
although there could besomething to that, but the
(01:54):
structure that you encounter inyour life. What are the ways
that things are supposed to be,and what are the rules to be
followed, the regulations, theprocesses or even the habits,
and then what's yourrelationship to these that's
what we're going to be goingover in today's show. So start
thinking about, you know, do youlike it when things are a set
(02:17):
way and this is like, this ishow it's going to be, or does
that give you a little anxiety?
And it's like, fuck that. I wantto be a rebel. I want to do it
my way. You can't tell me whatto do. I'm a free spirit. I'm
going to do it the way I want todo it, not the way anyone tells
me to. In fact, somebody tellsme to do it one way or another.
You better believe I'm not doingit that way anyway. But to start
(02:40):
to consider these things, andwe're going to go into like, how
your relationship with variousforms of structure might be
serving you, because it's notall way or the other. Like many
things, it's often about findingthe balance that works for you,
and also are you able to get outof balance at the appropriate
time and then get back intobalance when it's time to get
(03:03):
back into balance. So structurein my life, I have found, you
know, because I'm an electricalengineer, so there's definitely
aspects of me that just love,love structure, that this is the
way to do it. You do it thisway. Everybody does it this way.
It's partially a little bit ofmy German heritage. I lived in
Germany for a while, and therewas parts of it I loved, because
(03:26):
the Germans there is a way to dothings. It's one of the reasons
the Autobahn works there andwould not work anywhere else,
especially the United States,because there's a way to drive
if you are passing, you go inthe left lane and you pass, if
you are just cruising or you arenot passing, you get over to the
right. And if you, for somereason, make a mistake, and you
(03:49):
are cruising or going slow inthat left lane, and somebody
comes up behind you wanting topass, and they flash their
lights or honk their horn. Doyou know what a German does?
They move over and get out ofthe way. That's incredible. Do
you know what happens here inthe United States if, if you
were to come up behind somebodyand flash your lights and honk
(04:12):
your horn, oh, now they're gonnafucking obstruct. There's Who
are you to tell them how todrive. They got they're driving.
It's their lane their way. Fuckyou. Now I'm going to get in
your way and obstruct you andshow you who's boss. So culture
has a part of it. Yourupbringing has a part of it, and
then your personality has a partto it. And so for sure, going to
(04:35):
school, lots and lots of school,lots of tests, lots of studying,
lots of rules, lots ofequations, lots of formulas. So
lots and lots of structure iswhat I grew up with. And chances
are, if you went to school inthe US or in the Western world,
you had lots of structure oneway or another. And that's one
of the things that I started torealize, is that, for the most
(04:57):
part, we all, whether you know,we. We are aware or not, or it
was explicit or not, have a biginfluence of sort of a
militarized way of being that,you know, this is, there's,
there's a way to do things, andif you're out of the bounds,
then it's, it's wrong, andthere's something wrong with
(05:18):
you. And so this goes, you know,to how our schooling is and how
a lot of our workplaces are. Ifyou really look at how a well
formed military functions,you'll probably see that there's
a lot of that influence in mostaspects of your life. And you
might even say, well, oh waitno, my I work at a I work at a
(05:39):
startup, and we're very looseygoosey and things like that. And
oftentimes, when there'ssomething that we don't like, we
don't actually create what it iswe want. We just recruit. We
just react to it, and we do theopposite. So a lot of these, you
know, oh, of really, really openways of working, they're more
(06:00):
just a response to that sort ofmilitarized of working,
thinking, being doing, and so isthat really a way of being free
and independently creating? I'mgoing to submit that absolutely
not that it's still, it's stilljust bringing along that very
structured, overly rigid,militarized way of thinking and
(06:23):
doing. So am I saying that wejust got to get rid of structure
altogether and like, reallychoose to, like, really do
whatever we want? Actually, notat all, because structure is
important, but it's the type ofstructure and the purpose of why
the structure is there in thefirst place. Because one way to
(06:45):
think of structure is in termsof masculine energies and
feminine energies. And so amasculine is all about
structure, a container safety,ways of doing things that can
ensure that there's a space forwhat is meant to go in that,
what is meant to go into that.
That's where the feminineenergies come in. That's the
(07:06):
creation, that's the flow,that's the I don't know what,
but I'm going to fill it withsomething really cool and
amazing, and I don't exactlyknow what it is yet. And you
look at any kind of art, andyou're going to see this
interplay of structure thatallows for the creativity the
space. So think of painting.
(07:30):
What's the structure? It's thecanvas. It's that blank piece of
rectangle, and the painting goesin the rectangle. Now you might
think of like there's other artsthat sometimes play with that,
like Banksy, turning otherthings into a canvas, and
there's other artists that willsometimes, you know, paint on
the canvas and then paint on thewall, or do something that's out
(07:53):
of the canvas. Yet the canvas isstill important to sort of
define where to create. So evenwhen it's Banksy on a building
or something like that, there'sstill like that has become the
canvas, effectively, andthinking of dance, if there's no
floor, there's there's no dance,there's nothing to push and jump
(08:15):
and go against and provide thatfriction and all that other
stuff. You know, we see that,you know, move the dance,
instead of on a on a dance flooror a stage, into the water with
synchronized swimming. It'sstill something, but it's
definitely different, right? Sothe structure is going to
influence what you can createand how you're able to create.
(08:38):
And you might be going Justin,I'm, I have no interest in being
an artist, a dancer, any of thisthings. I've got a business to
run, right? And your business isgoing to require some structure,
and you're likely consciously orunconsciously creating a
structure that's either just apulled over from what's been
(08:58):
done or a response to it eitherway, you're not actually
crafting the structure based onwhat it is you're wanting to do.
And so it's noticing whatstructures don't work,
that are both traditional andalso non traditional, and
creating your own structure thatworks for what it is you're
trying to accomplish. So there'sa little bit of, you're going to
(09:22):
need a structure in how youcreate your structure, right?
And then you're going to have totest it, try it out. So like, a
little bit of, like thispodcast, it's like podcast, it's
like, well, that's got to beevery single week, or that's got
to be every single day, fivedays a week, right? Like a lot
of, a lot of really popularpodcasters, YouTubes, it's like
(09:44):
they do daily or what. But thenthere's also the like, Well, I'm
just going to do it whenever Ifeel like it, you know? I'm
going to do it whenever I want.
And the thing is, is if I justdo it whenever I want, then I'm
not having. A set time to beable to, like, create and put,
get into this mode where I'mgoing to share something with
you in a way that is unique andfun and exciting, but I also
(10:07):
don't have to do it every singleday or even every week, which is
why currently I'm doing everyother week, not super common,
but it's still structure, and itworks for me, my business. And
ideally, if you're subscribing,it's working for you, like maybe
you want more, maybe you wantless, but this is what it is,
(10:31):
and you can count on that.
And again, structures can changeand shift. At some point, maybe
I'll go once a week, maybe I'llgo once a month. We'll see. But
you know, it's going to be aconscious decision based off of
what are my goals and whatserves both me and the people
that I'm serving and the mediumand things like that. And so
(10:53):
when it comes to your business,you know, or your life, or your
relationships, stop trying to,just like, go against the
structure and try to see what'sthe structure that's going to
serve what it is you want tocreate in your life. Because,
again, like, if you want to meetpeople, you need some structure
to go out and meet people just,you know, sitting around and
(11:17):
doing nothing, because it'slike, well, all the other ways
haven't, worked. Like, that's,that's a response that's not
going to work. But also beingmaybe highly overly rigid, and,
you know, it's like, oh, this isthe way that you go and meet
people. Is you go do thisactivity, then this activity,
then this activity. Maybe thatdoesn't work. So finding a
structure of something like,Well, I'm going to, you know,
(11:39):
look for things in thiscategory, so that I can meet
people that are interested inthe things that I'm interested
in, then that's some structureto like, you know, your social,
relational, whatever. And soit's finding that structure
that's going to support you andwhat you want to do. And when
you go through it this way, thisalso allows you to have some
(12:01):
creativity and some flow in thestructure. Yet, remember, the
structure does require beingstable for an amount of time, to
allow some safety to ease intoand to just allow to explore
that space that the structure isactually providing. You know,
for example, for going to thestage thing. If the stage starts
(12:22):
moving around or shifting,that's that it's like, Well,
wait, I don't know if I canactually go stand there or dance
there, because maybe something'sgoing to happen to it. Good
example of this is Cirque deSoleil. They have a show, I
think they still have it, calledKa it's in Las Vegas where the
(12:43):
stage actually moves around.
It's a feat of mechanicalengineering, where the stage can
go up and down and rotate andshift and again, the whole thing
is planned with this. Soeverybody knows what's going to
happen next. So to, you know,the audience, it's like, oh my
gosh, that person was climbing,climbing up the stage, and then
(13:05):
part of the stage just sort ofdisappears. Now, the person,
like, falls down. The personknows that there's probably a
pad that they're going to besafe. We know that everyone's
going to be safe. And so it cana lot it's a whole other level,
right? So, but you need somestructure like that. Stage is
doing the same thing everynight. They're not changing how
(13:27):
the stage moves every show,because that would be chaos
dangerous. And if you'rechanging your structure, you
know every day or depending onwhat it is, every week or even a
month, depending on what it is,it's probably causing some chaos
and some friction and someuncertainty, because structure
creates a sense of safety, whichcan allow us to really play and
be creative. There's a, therewas a study that was done, and I
(13:49):
heard it was in Eastern Europe,where they're like, oh, let's,
you know, have we have anelementary school, or, I don't
know, school age kids that liketo, you know, play. Let's see
what happens. If they don't haveany fences, they have free
reign. It turned out thatbecause there wasn't a set to
find boundary, most of thechildren just played really
(14:11):
close to, you know, where thebuildings were, because it felt
safe when they later went backand they put the fences back up.
The children played in theentire space, all the way up to
the fence, because they knewthat the whole region was safe
and it was okay, and thatnothing bad would happen. And so
this sense of structure that youcreate again is going to allow
(14:34):
you to feel safe, so you canreally play, so you can really
create, so you can use thatwhole space. And maybe, you
know, you do play around withthe boundaries a little bit,
because that's fun sometimes,right? If there's no there's no
boundary, there's no there's nokind of fun of like, oh, what
happens if I get up to the edge?
(14:55):
Maybe, what happens if I go alittle bit over, right? So it
can allow. A lot more excitementand magic when you have the
structure, but again, it'syou're doing the structure for a
purpose, not because somebodytold you so, and because you're
bad or you're wrong or thatyou're hurting people because
(15:15):
you go against the structure.
You know the rules are there fora purpose, and if you don't know
what the purpose is, find itout, or figure out what the
purpose is, and then start toshift the rules, the structure,
the habits, so that it matchesand allows for that purpose to
come into alignment. So itreally is about the, you know.
(15:36):
Again, this is like, you know,we talked about how it's like
masculine and feminine workingtogether, the yin and the yang.
They go together, they supporteach other for this beautiful
dance of life and creation thatallows you to create beautiful
relationships, beautiful body,beautiful business and beautiful
adventures and experiences. Soagain, and I encourage you to
(16:00):
see what's your relationshipwith structure. You know, the
rules, the regulations, thehabits, the things that you
believe have to be this way, andare you too far one way or the
other, and what's some structurethat you could lovingly bring
into your life and your world.
(16:21):
And then loving that yourcreation enough to give your new
structures a chance, right? Cuzit's like with this podcast, or,
you know, with a way of eatingor a way of exercising or a way
of, you know, getting mybusiness out there, if I don't
do it for a certain amount oftime, to see, to get to start to
(16:44):
trust it and allow it to do itsmagic. I'm just going to be
wanting to change it all overthe place, and it's going to
create chaos. And again, chaosisn't a total bad thing, but
it's how do you use the chaosand structure? The chaos, chaos
with some structure, leads tocreativity, but chaos, for the
sake of chaos, is just chaos,and there's probably not that
(17:07):
you're going to ultimately enjoyin pure, unbridled chaos. I
might be wrong. I've given it ago, and I do find that some
structure, consciously createdcan allow for so much more fun,
so much more enjoyment, and suchamazing impact and results. And
(17:27):
so with that, I'd like to hearwhat your take is. So let me
know you know by a comment ormessaging me on the social
medias. Justin Wenck, PhD, whatare your thoughts? What's your
relationship to structure, andwhat's an area where maybe you
could maybe shift yourstructure, you know, maybe
loosen it a little bit, or maybetighten something. So I'd really
(17:50):
love to hear that. And again, ifit's something where, like, you
want some support, that's one ofthe things where I'm really
great to work with. My Bookengineer to love also has some
ways to maybe figure out, like,where there's some some things
that maybe could use someshifting, or some changing, or
just giving you some reflectionsof where you're at. So then you
can figure out, well, where,where do you really want to be?
(18:11):
And with that, I want to thankyou so much and good day. Thanks
for tuning in to engineeringemotions and energy with Justin
Wenck PhD, today's episoderesonated with you. Please
subscribe and leave a five starreview. Your feedback not only
supports the show, but alsohelps others find us and start
their journey of emotional andenergetic mastery. You can also
(18:33):
help by sharing this podcastwith someone you think will love
it just as much as you do.
Together, we're engineering moreamazing lives you think.
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