April 15, 2025 • 47 mins
What happens after we say, “I forgive you? Biblical counselor June Hunt will explore ways to break free from the grip of bitterness and resentment. She’ll also take your calls to clarify what forgiveness truly is—and what it isn’t—while offering practical guidance on how to live in the freedom God designed us to enjoy.
Today's resource: Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go
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Episode Transcript
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S1 (00:19):
Well. Hey there friends, welcome to another exciting edition of
equip with Chris Brooks! I'm so thrilled that you've joined
us today. Do me a favor strap on your seat
belt as we navigate through the contours of culture, as
always with the lens of the biblical worldview on. But
before we do that, let me remind you, this is
the day that the Lord has made. He is giving
(00:40):
it as a gift so that you and I can
rejoice and be glad in it. So let's do just that.
Let's follow the words of the Apostle Paul. Let's rejoice
in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. Today
I want you to help me to welcome to the
host seat, my good friend Colin Lambert. Colin is a
man of God who ministers through radio for decades, including
(01:02):
many years at Moody Radio. He's the host of Missions
today and is passionate about seeing people across the globe
growing Christ Jesus. Colin, thanks for leading this edition of equip.
S2 (01:16):
Chris, thank you so much and it's great to be here.
Continue to be praying for Chris and his family as
they're dealing with the illness of his daughter. You've heard
the story, but I just always want to encourage you
again to keep Chris and his family, his daughter Zoe,
on your prayer list. I know that they would appreciate
that very much. Well, have you ever had a serious
(01:37):
struggle with forgiving someone in the hidden recesses of your heart?
Have you ever wanted to see those who have wronged
you receive severe judgment rather than forgiveness? If so, I understand.
I forgive you those three little words. They're so simple,
yet so complex and so powerful. These words give us
(01:59):
permission to let go of recent irritations and often long
held grudges of minor offenses or festering hurts that just
keep us up at night. How do you deal with
unforgiveness in your heart? How do you protect your heart
from bitterness? How do you end the blame game? How
are you able to be totally forgiven by God? And
(02:23):
how do you totally forgive others? And how can you
pray for those who have hurt you? Those are just
some of the things we're going to touch on today
with a lady who is a veteran, biblical counselor and
radio programme host, award winning radio program host of Hope
for the Heart June Hunt. It airs on more than
(02:43):
a thousand stations worldwide and has offered help to people
for years and years and years. In June, we are
just thrilled to have you take some time to be
with us today to talk about forgiveness.
S3 (02:55):
Oh, it's my deep joy. Thank you. I love being
with you and love Moody.
S2 (03:01):
Why do so many people have difficulty forgiving?
S3 (03:07):
Well, now. Now you're talking about me. Um. I thought
it was letting somebody off the hook and that person
didn't have to change. So, um, it has to do
with some logical reasons. Um, it could be waiting for
(03:28):
time to heal all wounds. Well, time doesn't heal all wounds. Um,
when I first even taught on this topic, I asked,
what do you think forgiveness means? And the answer I
was given. First answer. It means being a doormat. And
I thought, oh well, if that were so, Jesus would
(03:53):
have been the greatest doormat of all. Uh, that is
not what forgiveness means. Another person said it means being
a weak martyr. No, it's being strong enough to be
Christ like. Uh, some people say, uh, it's forgiveness is
(04:15):
forgetting and I can't forget, so I, I can't forgive. Um, no.
It's necessary to remember before you can forgive. It's not forgetting. Um.
My my answer, my problem. I'm very logical, very rational.
I'm math. People don't understand that at times. But, uh,
(04:39):
it's the letting the guilty off the hook instead. This
is what I learned, Colin. It's moving the guilty off
of my hook and putting the guilty onto God's hook. Um.
It is, um. It's not based on what's fair. It
(05:00):
wasn't fair for Jesus to die on the cross for us,
but he did so so that we could be forgiven. Um,
some people I remember I wrote a book later, later,
much later, uh, about ten years after my struggle with forgiving.
And the book is called How to Forgive When You
(05:20):
Don't Feel Like It. And I remember a reviewer of
the book wrote me a letter, and I didn't even
know there was a reviewer. But the bottom line, he said,
I'm very surprised at the content of this book, because
the reason I couldn't forgive for years was because I
(05:41):
thought forgiveness meant there had to be reconciliation. And he said,
you explain. No, uh, forgiveness is one way, uh, reconciliation
is two ways. Meaning it takes one person, only one
person to forgive. But reconciliation is a changed Relationship based
(06:10):
on changed behavior. Forgiveness doesn't involve a change of thinking
about the offender, but reconciliation is literally a gift. It's
a I should say it this way. You could say
(06:32):
forgiveness is a free gift to the one who has
broken trust. But reconciliation is a restored relationship based on
and this is the key restored trust. In Amos three three,
we read do two walk together unless they have agreed
to do so. And so there needs to be for reconciliation, um,
(06:57):
a change in behavior. And then there can be, uh, true,
genuine When relationship. But forgiveness doesn't require a relationship. It's
unconditional regardless of a lack of repentance, whereas reconciliation is
(07:20):
conditional based on repentance.
S2 (07:25):
I know that as you've written books and and booklets
about the topic of forgiveness, you've shared some of your
own story. You have had in your life a challenge, uh,
with forgiving somebody. Will you talk a bit about that?
S3 (07:42):
Well, I definitely know all about harboring an unforgiving heart. Um.
And for a number of years, I felt totally justified
in harboring unforgiveness toward my father. He was an atheist, uh,
who lived a lifestyle of infidelity. He had three families
(08:05):
going on and we were the third family I grew
up as. June Wright is just a fictitious last name. Uh,
my mother, brother, two sisters. We were the Wright family.
Even though how odd that they used, they chose the
word Wright when, uh, what was going on was wrong. But, um, I, uh,
(08:28):
it was easy for me to focus on my father's faults. Um,
but he never admitted to doing anything wrong, and so
I felt absolutely justified in my hatred. Uh, I had
kind of an equation. God hates sin. Dad is sinning.
(08:49):
God hates dad, I hate dad. That seemed logical to me.
That wasn't scripture, by the way. But, um, later I
became a Christian, and I. I began and And I
knew no Bible. Um, I only knew the Lord's Prayer. Uh,
(09:11):
I had been in church, but no Bible in that
church mainline denomination. And then I'm hearing the word forgiveness,
and I didn't know what to do with it. So
I just kind of put it off on the side.
I didn't I didn't know what to do with those scriptures, like,
bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you have
against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Uh,
(09:35):
I just I just didn't know what to do. Uh,
because my dad had not changed. And so then later,
I came into a knowledge I was reading scripture first
John two verse nine. Anyone who claims to be in
the light but hates his brother, in this case, father, uh,
(09:59):
is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his Brother lives
in the light. There's nothing in him to make him stumble.
But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and
walks around in the darkness and does not know where
he's going because the darkness has blinded him. I read
that and I thought, well, but God knows my situation
(10:23):
and and dad could be cruel. I was beaten only once,
but I was. It definitely shut me down. So I
knew and I had confronted him about his women and
it did not go well. And so, uh. And if
dad was angry with me, then he would take it
(10:43):
out on my mom, and I couldn't handle that, so
I just shut down. And I know, I know what
it's like when people shut down. I have great compassion, uh, understanding.
You don't feel you have a choice. Now, later. I
will say this. I had been blind to anything good
(11:08):
about my father. Um, and I said, in fact, there
was something that dad was cruel toward my mom. It
was verbal in this case. And I said, how can
you be so nice to him? Uh, I could not understand.
And finally she said, oh, honey, if he only knew
(11:28):
the Lord, he wouldn't be that way. That was a
paradigm shift I've never thought about. See, she was not
focused on this fault. She was focusing on his need.
He needed the Savior. And I saw that she and
her friends were praying for him to have a changed
life through Christ. And then their husbands also were praying
(11:54):
for my dad. And it changed my mindset of, you know,
Pray for those who persecute you. Well, I hadn't been
praying for my dad, and it it so changed my my,
my my view of how to live life. Uh, ultimately, uh,
(12:16):
nine months before my father died, he was willing to
pray a prayer of salvation. And I wasn't sure if
it was real, because I led him in that. And
I went to my mom. I said, mom, I need
to tell you what has happened. Uh, but I don't
know what to think about it. And I explained the
(12:36):
circumstance and she said, honey, if he was willing to
pray a prayer of salvation with you, it's the first
time many people had tried. Billy Graham had tried. And
so she said, I am convinced that this prayer that
he prayed with you was authentic. And, um, you know,
(13:00):
I used to say, Colin, I used to say, I
would bet my life my dad will never change. Well,
I was sincere, but sincerely wrong. And so I would say. Now,
don't assume that a person will never change. We don't know.
(13:21):
We just don't know who will change. And instead, the
Bible says, love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you.
Love isn't emotional. It's doing what's best in behalf of
that other person. And that's what I chose to do
and learn to do.
S2 (13:39):
Yeah. Now what a story. June Hunt is our guest,
and we're talking about forgiveness. The freedom to let go.
When we come back in just a moment, we'll talk
about the root causes of unforgiveness and the stages of forgiveness.
You may need to forgive somebody today, or you may
have done so and would like to share some of
(13:59):
your story. We'd love to hear it. Phone lines are
open 87754836758775483675. Forgiveness. The freedom to let go. Back with
June hunt and more of equip. Coming up in just
a moment.
S1 (14:21):
Christianity speaks to every aspect of life, but sometimes we
struggle to connect God's unchanging truth to our changing world.
Apologetics for an Ever Changing Culture by Shawn McDowell equips
you with the practical tools for meaningful conversation about faith.
With chapters from 26 leading Christian thinkers, including our own
(14:42):
Chris Brooks. It's our impact gift this month to you
when you support the Ministry of Equipped. Call (888)Â 644-4144 or
visit equipped radio.org.
S2 (14:58):
Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Colin Lambert
sitting in for Chris today. Our phone lines open at 87754836758775483675.
Our topic is forgiveness, the freedom to let go. And
our guest is June Hunte, biblical counselor and award winning
radio program host. And always so great to have a
(15:21):
conversation with. June. June, thank you for sharing a bit
of your own story. I'd like to take a look.
By the way, I didn't. I don't think I said
this at the beginning of the program, and I may
be wrong. I'm I'm not right about a lot of things,
but I believe, uh, unforgiveness is one of the biggest
issues facing our nation. It's a it's an issue that
(15:42):
is rarely talked about. Certainly Secularly rarely talked about. But
I think so many things come from unforgiveness, both physically, mentally, Spiritually,
I think our nation would be a different nation if
we learned how to forgive. Just an aside, but as
we continue to talk about the topic of forgiveness, what
(16:06):
would you say is the root cause of unforgiveness?
S3 (16:10):
Mhm. There's a wrong belief that we can hold, and
that is it's natural for me to resent those who've
wronged me. If I forgive them, they'll get away with it.
And my offenders, they need to pay for the wrongs
committed against me. Now, that can sound logical, but biblically,
(16:40):
this is not the position that God takes. And in fact,
this belief can reflect an attitude of pride that sets
us up as a higher judge than God Himself, who says, I,
even I am he who blots out your transgressions for
my own sake, and remembers your sin no more. That's
(17:00):
Isaiah 4325. The right belief, however, is because God has
totally forgiven me. I can release my resentment and choose
to forgive others. I will rely on Christ who is
living in me to forgive through me. And this belief
(17:22):
reflects a heart of humility that results in a desire
to forgive others in the same way God has forgiven us.
And the Bible does say, if you forgive other people
when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also
forgive you. And listen to this. But if you don't
(17:43):
forgive others, your heavenly father will not forgive your sins.
That's huge. This is, uh, In his famous sermon on
the Mount Matthew 614 and 15. And I think the
issue is sometimes I believe that there are those who,
(18:08):
because they refuse to forgive someone who has wronged them, um,
and they don't forgive. The Bible says the Heavenly Father
will not forgive your sins. I think it can even
result in a block to salvation. And that's very serious
because I've talked with certain people. I remember a man
(18:31):
was attending my Bible study and he said, I prayed
the prayer of salvation. I know I'm not saved. He said,
I've prayed it several times. And I thought, well, maybe
he doesn't really understand. So I led him in that, um,
understanding and even in the prayer of salvation, he said, no,
I know I'm not saved. Then I said, God, please
(18:52):
help me. And then all of a sudden I said,
is there someone you refuse to forgive? And his face
became contorted. I mean, it's like there was a change
and he said, yes, my ex-wife. And she doesn't deserve
to be forgiven. And I said, I can tell she's
(19:13):
hurt you deeply. Yes she has. I said, well, let
me show this to you. And then I read the Scripture.
Matthew 614 and 15 if you do not forgive others
their sins, your father will not forgive your sins. I said,
do you understand that this could actually be a block
(19:34):
to salvation? Because when we yield our lives to the Lord,
that means he is in control. It says, believe in
the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. That
means you give him control of your life. So then
if you're holding on to unforgiveness, then you're really not
giving him control. And he he he just was kind
(19:57):
of frozen. And finally he said he stood up strongly
and strongly, marched out of my home. And he said,
I refuse to forgive. And nine months later, same thing
with a woman in Prescott, Arizona. I was leading a
retreat there and, um, same, same scenario of a woman said,
(20:18):
I prayed multiple times to, um, have salvation and I, I,
I just know I'm not saved. And, uh, so I
again led her in. What? Just in case she didn't
really understand. And then at the end, uh, she said, no,
(20:40):
I know I'm not saved. And I shared, well, could
it be that there's someone you refuse to forgive? And
she said, absolutely. My ex-husband had an affair with my
best friend, and now they are living together. They're married
and they have money. And we and our my children,
(21:03):
we're barely making it. I said, I'm sure that's very painful.
And she said, yes, yes it is. And I said, well,
let me read to you this scripture, and I read
the part, if you forgive people when they sin against you,
your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you
(21:24):
do not forgive others their sins, your father in heaven
will not forgive your sins. Matthew 614 and 15 and
she said, oh, well, that means I have to forgive.
And she said, um, I didn't know that scripture, I
(21:46):
didn't understand. I said, well, you don't have to forgive,
but you understand that the Lord says, if you do not,
then your heavenly father will not forgive your sins. And
she said, oh, okay, I'm willing to do that. And
so she prayed. I led her in a prayer of literally, um, uh, forgiving, uh,
(22:09):
her ex-husband. And then then she said, and I also
want to forgive my former best friend. I need to
forgive her also. And it. And then I saw her,
you know, after that. And she was glowing. She was
at peace. So at times, um, uh, unforgiveness can be
(22:38):
either not understanding what God says. But more than anything,
we need to do what God says and to release
our resentment. Um, in terms of true forgiving. Uh, true
forgiveness is dismissing your demand that others owe you something
(23:01):
if they fail to meet your expectations or fail to
keep a promise or fail to treat you justly. Um, instead,
what we need to understand is what God says and and, uh,
what God's Word specifically says, and that is bear with
(23:23):
each other. This is Colossians 313. Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievance you have against one another. Forgive
as the Lord forgave you.
S2 (23:39):
June, forgiveness can be such a challenge. Is it proper
to pray. Lord, help me forgive this person. Or is
it simply a command to be obeyed?
S3 (23:52):
You know, um, that's a good question. I think what
helped me the most to change my heart was Matthew 544.
Pray for those who persecute you. Pray for those who
(24:13):
persecute you. And that means. And now what? I know
some people say, well, I just can't pray that my
whoever has wronged them has a wonderful life. I said, no,
you don't pray that. You can pray, Lord, I pray
(24:34):
that so-and-so will have a changed life because that's what
that person needs if they have been Wronging you or others. Um, I, uh,
the way I did this at one time. Um, and
by the way, I consider this a protecting of our
hearts from bitterness toward others. If you see somebody who's
(25:00):
hurt you and, uh, or hurt others, it could be
the person you care about the most. Um, you can
pray what I call the fruit of the spirit, or
what the Bible presents as the fruit of the spirit,
and that is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
(25:21):
and self-control. And so it's, Lord, I pray that and
put that person's name in there will have, uh, well,
will be filled with the fruit of love one day
and become fully aware of your unconditional love and in turn,
share your love for others. Yeah. Um, so there are
(25:45):
specifics that you can pray, but pray that they will
have a changed life through Christ.
S2 (25:52):
We'll pick up there, talk more about that when we
come back in just a moment, and we'll talk about
stages of forgiveness. And what about forgiving and forgetting? Is
that really possible? We're talking about forgiveness, the freedom to
let go. If you've had an experience with forgiveness or
need to give us a call (877)Â 548-3675. Do you appreciate
(26:20):
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(26:44):
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(27:06):
That's 888 644 4144. Or you can visit us online
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to bring you great content like we're talking about today.
Topic today is forgiveness the freedom to let go. June
Hunte is our guest and we're talking about forgiveness. If
(27:52):
you have a story to share, maybe a challenge with forgiveness,
maybe a story where you've forgiven somebody and what that
has meant to you. We'd love to hear your story. 87754836758775483675.
Let's go to the phones. Uh, Kip, you're in Ohio.
(28:15):
Thank you for calling today. We appreciate it. Your question
or comment?
S4 (28:20):
I just want to identify with the last segment where
you had asked the question, uh, if it's ever appropriate
to ask God to help you to forgive and, uh, that,
that that is, that's my exact experience. Um, I was
seven years old when my mom married my first stepdad.
(28:42):
And he was. He was a violent alcoholic. And, uh,
he used to beat her mercilessly. And I watched that
until I was 18 years old. And I was a Christian,
and I knew that God wanted and expected for me
to forgive him as I have been forgiven. But if
I'd have told God that I forgave him, I would
(29:02):
have been lying, because I knew in my heart I.
I didn't hold anything against myself that he terrorized me
for all those years. But this is my mother. Uh,
it it it's difficult to to to know that she
was wronged and harmed, um, and to just let that go. Um,
(29:23):
so for years, I prayed, father, I want to forgive him,
but I know I truly don't because I just because
of the pain that my mother went through and I
shared with my wife, you know, she used to pray
with me about it. And one night at church, it
was it was a prayer service and I was going
to go up and pray with whoever prayer partner was
(29:45):
assigned to me. And we were going to pray that
God would help me to forgive my stepdad. And that
night I even before I prayed, something changed in my heart.
I had prayed, Lord, let me see him the way
that you see him. Uh, instead of just this monster
who used to beat my mom. And, uh, that night
(30:05):
I broke and I. I cried for about 20 minutes.
But in my heart, I truly had forgiven him. Um,
I did see him. Uh, as as as a as
a as an alcoholic who didn't have any tools to
cope with life. And, uh, as a matter of fact,
years later, I actually got the chance to share Jesus
(30:28):
with him and to tell him I forgive you for
all that you ever did to me and mom. And
I said, and even more importantly, God wants to forgive you.
And he said, he said, Kip, I think I've done
too much for God to forgive. And I said, how
do you think I was able to forgive you? It
was it was because of his grace. And if you'll
(30:49):
just seek him and, uh, confess your sins, he'll forgive you, too. So, uh,
that's my testimony. Um. I absolutely asked God to help
me to forgive. And he did. He really did.
S3 (31:02):
Kip. That's huge. What you've just said. Um, what we.
The Bible says I can do all things through Christ
who gives me strength. And if you say I can't.
You say, well, maybe you can't, but he can. He
see you were yielded you. You chose to yield your
(31:25):
will to his will based on what the Scripture truly says. And, uh,
that's why we can do things that in our own
strength we could not do. I had the same type
of situation that, uh, similar, uh, and I thought, how
can anybody treat my mother cruelly? How I just couldn't conceive. And, um,
(31:52):
so I was her protector, I thought. But then later
I saw I had, uh, to do what God said
to do and forgive. But I couldn't do it in
my own strength. So I respect you tremendously. Thank you. Kip.
S2 (32:09):
Yeah. Kip, thank you for sharing. We appreciate. In fact,
I want to send you a copy of, uh, of
her book of June's book. We're going to put it
in your hands. And if you can use it, great.
If not, maybe you can hand it to someone who
is in need. Uh. Hold on. We'll get you that
information and, uh, get that book out to you. Forgiveness.
The freedom to let go. Let's move along. Sue, in Indiana,
(32:30):
your question or comment for June, please.
S5 (32:34):
Hi, I. I have an ex-husband that cheated on me.
We are. We have been divorced for years and I
know the scripture about forgiveness, but sometimes I'm not sure
if I've really forgiven him and I'm not sure how
to know that I did.
S3 (32:55):
So what you've just said is a common experience. And
let me tell you, it's not that you didn't forgive.
There are times when we have to forgive again and
again and again. There was a point at which Peter said,
(33:16):
how many times should I forgive? To to the Lord Jesus.
And he said, um, you know, uh, this many times.
Seven times. No, it's 70 times seven. Um, I mean,
Peter was really upping because in the Jewish culture it
(33:38):
was four times. Um, and then all of a sudden here,
he's saying seven times. No, 70 times, meaning it's countless
whenever you need to forgive again. And that is part
of our willful choice, meaning we have the ability to choose. Uh,
(34:03):
and God has given that to us. And sometimes it
also matters. What are we allowing to think in our minds? Meaning, um.
You need to forbid reoccurring thoughts of wrongs to enter
your mind. Um. And as soon as they come, you
(34:26):
just say. I refuse to keep a record of this.
In fact, the Bible says in First Corinthians 13, love
keeps no record of wrongs, so we don't need to
be rehearsing the wrong over and over. In fact, just
we look beyond the fault and see the need. And
that is what Jesus did. He didn't focus on the
(34:50):
wrongs that people were doing. He focused on their need. So, Sue,
just because you did, you did forgive, but then you
felt like you didn't. At times we need to forgive again,
because we can have different thoughts that come in and
different experiences in our minds that come into play. And
(35:15):
we can forgive again. But it's not that you didn't
when you really were sincere, trying to have the heart
of of forgiveness. Does that make sense to you, Sue?
S5 (35:28):
Yes. Yes it does. Yes it does.
S3 (35:30):
Okay.
S5 (35:31):
It it does just kind of come back every once
in a while.
S3 (35:35):
Yeah. And so you can forgive again. Just forgive again.
S2 (35:40):
Sue, thank you so much for your call. Hang on
the line. I'd love to get you a copy of
this booklet. Forgiveness, the Freedom to Let Go. And maybe
there'll be some more helpful things in there for you.
We're talking with June Hunte about forgiveness, and you can participate.
(877)Â 548-3675 is the number. (877)Â 548-3675. To learn more about our
(36:03):
wonderful guest, June Hunte and all of her wonderful resources.
We'll link you to that today at our website equipped
radio Dot. That's radio.org. Again, call and participate in the
program 87754836758775483675. We'll be back with more with June on
(36:26):
forgiveness and more of your calls and comments. Coming up
in just a moment right here on equipped with Chris Brooks.
Stay with us.
S1 (36:52):
We live in a culture whose needs and obstacles to
faith are constantly shifting. Sean McDowell's book apologetics for an
Ever Changing Culture, addresses many current issues and will help
you share and defend the gospel with relevant answers. It's
our thank you gift for supporting equipped this month. We'll
send you a copy with your gift of any amount
(37:14):
to equipped. Just call (888)Â 644-4144 or visit equip radio.org. That's
(888)Â 644-4144 or online at equipped radio. Org.
S2 (37:33):
Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks I'm Colin Lambert
sitting in today tomorrow on the program a life changing
power of a pair of shoes. How can it change
the life of a child? We'll tell you tomorrow right
here on equipped with Chris Brooks. I hope you'll join
me as I sit in for Chris tomorrow. We're talking
today about forgiveness, the freedom to let go with our guest,
(37:56):
June Hunte. June, just before we get back to the phones,
I'd like to quickly go through before we run out
of time. The four stages of forgiveness for someone who
might be saying, what does this process look like? How
do I get this started? Could you step through those
four stages of forgiveness for us?
S3 (38:14):
Well, I'd be honored to. Um, first, we have to
face the offense. Uh, when you feel pain, that is personal, unfair, deep. Uh,
you have a wound that can be healed only by
forgiving the one who is wounded you. First, you must
(38:37):
face the truth of what has actually been done. Uh,
not rationalizing or having false thinking. In other words, you
don't minimize and say, well, no matter how badly he
treats me, it's okay. No, bad treatment is not okay.
There's no excuse for abuse. Um, don't assume that, uh,
(39:00):
quick forgiveness is full forgiveness by thinking. Well, as soon
as it happened, I quickly and fully forgave him. That's
what I've been taught to do. Many well-intentioned people feel
guilty if they don't extend immediate forgiveness, so they forgive quickly.
(39:20):
Yet they haven't even faced the full impact of the
offence or grieved what actually did happen. So face the
the offence. Number two feel the offence. Um, the Scripture
does say, um, there's a time for everything. And Ecclesiastes
three A time to love and a time to hate.
(39:43):
You can hate the offense. We're not to hate the offender,
but failing to feel the offence can result in just
living in denial. Um, and therefore be mistreated by someone
again and again and again. Uh, and instead we need
(40:06):
to realize. Where is the Lord in this? The Lord
is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are
crushed in spirit. I needed that scripture. Uh, in fact,
at one point I would put at the bottom of
my page whatever. Whenever writing any correspondence, I just automatically
just put that in. Not that it was relevant to
(40:27):
what was the body of the letter, and yet it
would be. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit. And he knows
what has broken our hearts. That Psalm 3418 and carrying
false guilt would be another challenge here, uh, of, uh,
(40:51):
I feel guilty, uh, if I hate what was done
to me. No, God hates sin. You can hate sin, too. Uh,
you're to hate the sin, but not the sinner. And
we have scripture. All so, so helpful scriptures that help
us in this area. The third area of the stage
(41:12):
would be to forgive the offender. Now, uh, this is
where we can argue. I don't think it's right to
forgive anyone who has wounded another person in this way. Well,
Jesus established what was right when he said, when you
(41:36):
stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them
so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
That's Mark 1125. Uh, at times there's another argument we can, uh, pose.
I can forgive everyone else, but I don't have the
(41:58):
power to forgive that person. And the issue is not
your lack of power to forgive, but rather how strong
God's power is within you to forgive any sin. And
I love this scripture. His divine power has given us
everything we need to live a godly life. That second Peter, first,
(42:24):
first chapter, verse three. Uh. Another argument. Forgiveness isn't fair.
She ought to pay for her wrongs. Um, well, the
answer is God knows how to deal with each person fairly,
and he will in his own time. Here is the solution.
Romans 1219 says, do not take revenge, my friends, but
(42:49):
leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, it
is mine to mine to avenge. I will repay. Now
this is what I do. If I'm ever speaking. When
I speak on this topic, I have a meat hook.
And I'll ask how many of you know what it's
like to. Say, I cannot forgive this person. And the
(43:16):
hands go up. Usually it's about 45% of the room,
and I'll pick someone and I will have done this
early on. Then later I in in my message, I
will say, uh, I will have picked somebody that I
need that's strong. And so I go up to that person.
I said, I saw your hand earlier, would you be
(43:37):
willing to help me? And they're always willing to help me.
So I bring them up on stage. And I said,
you said that you could not forgive. Um, I understand
because that's what I said to. And so I put
a meat hook around their necks and they look at
it very strangely, and I put a burlap bag on
(43:58):
top or over the hook part, and it's hanging from
the meat hook. And then I have a table full
of small boulders about two sizes of your fist or three.
And I'll say, what has been so painful. And then
we put into that bag when they begin to say, well,
(44:26):
this is what so and so did to me. And
as they add one, I'll say, what else adds? They
add one after another after another. Finally they say, this
is getting really heavy. I said, yes. And God did
not create you to carry all that weight. You have
a choice. You can release all of that pain to him.
(44:49):
And as an act of your will, you can make
a choice. I'm going to do what God tells me
to do. I will choose to forgive this person. And
so often at this point, they have tears because they
they feel the release because they put all that weight
(45:15):
in the bag and the burlap bag, and they've released
that to God, and now they've released the offender. And
I said, now you're going to take that offender off
of your hook and put that offender onto God's hook
because he says, it's mine to avenge, I will repay.
(45:37):
Let him take care of that. You just do what
God tells you to do. And that means that it's
possible that there could be, in certain situations, finding oneness,
meaning relationships filled with resentment ultimately perish. Relationships filled with
(45:59):
forgiveness ultimately prevail. But please hear, there are times when
it is not appropriate to find oneness. Meaning if there
had been a relationship involving adultery and here are two
people you don't need to find oneness back in an
adulterous relationship. And most of all, just to understand, God
(46:25):
intends to give you freedom, the freedom of forgiveness.
S2 (46:30):
What a powerful message. June Hunt, our guest today. The
book is forgiveness, the freedom to let go. And you
can find out more about June and this incredible resource
at our website, Radio.com that's equipped radio.org. June, thank you
so much for being with us today. Always great to
talk to you and appreciate your insights for us today
(46:54):
on this incredibly difficult topic of forgiveness. Friends, thank you
for joining us. We'll talk to you here tomorrow. Equipped
with Chris Brooks is a production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
Well. Hey there friends, welcome to another exciting edition of
equip with Chris Brooks! I'm so thrilled that you've joined
us today. Do me a favor strap on your seat
belt as we navigate through the contours of culture, as
always with the lens of the biblical worldview on. But
before we do that, let me remind you, this is
the day that the Lord has made. He is giving
(00:40):
it as a gift so that you and I can
rejoice and be glad in it. So let's do just that.
Let's follow the words of the Apostle Paul. Let's rejoice
in the Lord always. And again I say, rejoice. Today
I want you to help me to welcome to the
host seat, my good friend Colin Lambert. Colin is a
man of God who ministers through radio for decades, including
(01:02):
many years at Moody Radio. He's the host of Missions
today and is passionate about seeing people across the globe
growing Christ Jesus. Colin, thanks for leading this edition of equip.
S2 (01:16):
Chris, thank you so much and it's great to be here.
Continue to be praying for Chris and his family as
they're dealing with the illness of his daughter. You've heard
the story, but I just always want to encourage you
again to keep Chris and his family, his daughter Zoe,
on your prayer list. I know that they would appreciate
that very much. Well, have you ever had a serious
(01:37):
struggle with forgiving someone in the hidden recesses of your heart?
Have you ever wanted to see those who have wronged
you receive severe judgment rather than forgiveness? If so, I understand.
I forgive you those three little words. They're so simple,
yet so complex and so powerful. These words give us
(01:59):
permission to let go of recent irritations and often long
held grudges of minor offenses or festering hurts that just
keep us up at night. How do you deal with
unforgiveness in your heart? How do you protect your heart
from bitterness? How do you end the blame game? How
are you able to be totally forgiven by God? And
(02:23):
how do you totally forgive others? And how can you
pray for those who have hurt you? Those are just
some of the things we're going to touch on today
with a lady who is a veteran, biblical counselor and
radio programme host, award winning radio program host of Hope
for the Heart June Hunt. It airs on more than
(02:43):
a thousand stations worldwide and has offered help to people
for years and years and years. In June, we are
just thrilled to have you take some time to be
with us today to talk about forgiveness.
S3 (02:55):
Oh, it's my deep joy. Thank you. I love being
with you and love Moody.
S2 (03:01):
Why do so many people have difficulty forgiving?
S3 (03:07):
Well, now. Now you're talking about me. Um. I thought
it was letting somebody off the hook and that person
didn't have to change. So, um, it has to do
with some logical reasons. Um, it could be waiting for
(03:28):
time to heal all wounds. Well, time doesn't heal all wounds. Um,
when I first even taught on this topic, I asked,
what do you think forgiveness means? And the answer I
was given. First answer. It means being a doormat. And
I thought, oh well, if that were so, Jesus would
(03:53):
have been the greatest doormat of all. Uh, that is
not what forgiveness means. Another person said it means being
a weak martyr. No, it's being strong enough to be
Christ like. Uh, some people say, uh, it's forgiveness is
(04:15):
forgetting and I can't forget, so I, I can't forgive. Um, no.
It's necessary to remember before you can forgive. It's not forgetting. Um.
My my answer, my problem. I'm very logical, very rational.
I'm math. People don't understand that at times. But, uh,
(04:39):
it's the letting the guilty off the hook instead. This
is what I learned, Colin. It's moving the guilty off
of my hook and putting the guilty onto God's hook. Um.
It is, um. It's not based on what's fair. It
(05:00):
wasn't fair for Jesus to die on the cross for us,
but he did so so that we could be forgiven. Um,
some people I remember I wrote a book later, later,
much later, uh, about ten years after my struggle with forgiving.
And the book is called How to Forgive When You
(05:20):
Don't Feel Like It. And I remember a reviewer of
the book wrote me a letter, and I didn't even
know there was a reviewer. But the bottom line, he said,
I'm very surprised at the content of this book, because
the reason I couldn't forgive for years was because I
(05:41):
thought forgiveness meant there had to be reconciliation. And he said,
you explain. No, uh, forgiveness is one way, uh, reconciliation
is two ways. Meaning it takes one person, only one
person to forgive. But reconciliation is a changed Relationship based
(06:10):
on changed behavior. Forgiveness doesn't involve a change of thinking
about the offender, but reconciliation is literally a gift. It's
a I should say it this way. You could say
(06:32):
forgiveness is a free gift to the one who has
broken trust. But reconciliation is a restored relationship based on
and this is the key restored trust. In Amos three three,
we read do two walk together unless they have agreed
to do so. And so there needs to be for reconciliation, um,
(06:57):
a change in behavior. And then there can be, uh, true,
genuine When relationship. But forgiveness doesn't require a relationship. It's
unconditional regardless of a lack of repentance, whereas reconciliation is
(07:20):
conditional based on repentance.
S2 (07:25):
I know that as you've written books and and booklets
about the topic of forgiveness, you've shared some of your
own story. You have had in your life a challenge, uh,
with forgiving somebody. Will you talk a bit about that?
S3 (07:42):
Well, I definitely know all about harboring an unforgiving heart. Um.
And for a number of years, I felt totally justified
in harboring unforgiveness toward my father. He was an atheist, uh,
who lived a lifestyle of infidelity. He had three families
(08:05):
going on and we were the third family I grew
up as. June Wright is just a fictitious last name. Uh,
my mother, brother, two sisters. We were the Wright family.
Even though how odd that they used, they chose the
word Wright when, uh, what was going on was wrong. But, um, I, uh,
(08:28):
it was easy for me to focus on my father's faults. Um,
but he never admitted to doing anything wrong, and so
I felt absolutely justified in my hatred. Uh, I had
kind of an equation. God hates sin. Dad is sinning.
(08:49):
God hates dad, I hate dad. That seemed logical to me.
That wasn't scripture, by the way. But, um, later I
became a Christian, and I. I began and And I
knew no Bible. Um, I only knew the Lord's Prayer. Uh,
(09:11):
I had been in church, but no Bible in that
church mainline denomination. And then I'm hearing the word forgiveness,
and I didn't know what to do with it. So
I just kind of put it off on the side.
I didn't I didn't know what to do with those scriptures, like,
bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you have
against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Uh,
(09:35):
I just I just didn't know what to do. Uh,
because my dad had not changed. And so then later,
I came into a knowledge I was reading scripture first
John two verse nine. Anyone who claims to be in
the light but hates his brother, in this case, father, uh,
(09:59):
is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his Brother lives
in the light. There's nothing in him to make him stumble.
But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and
walks around in the darkness and does not know where
he's going because the darkness has blinded him. I read
that and I thought, well, but God knows my situation
(10:23):
and and dad could be cruel. I was beaten only once,
but I was. It definitely shut me down. So I
knew and I had confronted him about his women and
it did not go well. And so, uh. And if
dad was angry with me, then he would take it
(10:43):
out on my mom, and I couldn't handle that, so
I just shut down. And I know, I know what
it's like when people shut down. I have great compassion, uh, understanding.
You don't feel you have a choice. Now, later. I
will say this. I had been blind to anything good
(11:08):
about my father. Um, and I said, in fact, there
was something that dad was cruel toward my mom. It
was verbal in this case. And I said, how can
you be so nice to him? Uh, I could not understand.
And finally she said, oh, honey, if he only knew
(11:28):
the Lord, he wouldn't be that way. That was a
paradigm shift I've never thought about. See, she was not
focused on this fault. She was focusing on his need.
He needed the Savior. And I saw that she and
her friends were praying for him to have a changed
life through Christ. And then their husbands also were praying
(11:54):
for my dad. And it changed my mindset of, you know,
Pray for those who persecute you. Well, I hadn't been
praying for my dad, and it it so changed my my,
my my view of how to live life. Uh, ultimately, uh,
(12:16):
nine months before my father died, he was willing to
pray a prayer of salvation. And I wasn't sure if
it was real, because I led him in that. And
I went to my mom. I said, mom, I need
to tell you what has happened. Uh, but I don't
know what to think about it. And I explained the
(12:36):
circumstance and she said, honey, if he was willing to
pray a prayer of salvation with you, it's the first
time many people had tried. Billy Graham had tried. And
so she said, I am convinced that this prayer that
he prayed with you was authentic. And, um, you know,
(13:00):
I used to say, Colin, I used to say, I
would bet my life my dad will never change. Well,
I was sincere, but sincerely wrong. And so I would say. Now,
don't assume that a person will never change. We don't know.
(13:21):
We just don't know who will change. And instead, the
Bible says, love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you.
Love isn't emotional. It's doing what's best in behalf of
that other person. And that's what I chose to do
and learn to do.
S2 (13:39):
Yeah. Now what a story. June Hunt is our guest,
and we're talking about forgiveness. The freedom to let go.
When we come back in just a moment, we'll talk
about the root causes of unforgiveness and the stages of forgiveness.
You may need to forgive somebody today, or you may
have done so and would like to share some of
(13:59):
your story. We'd love to hear it. Phone lines are
open 87754836758775483675. Forgiveness. The freedom to let go. Back with
June hunt and more of equip. Coming up in just
a moment.
S1 (14:21):
Christianity speaks to every aspect of life, but sometimes we
struggle to connect God's unchanging truth to our changing world.
Apologetics for an Ever Changing Culture by Shawn McDowell equips
you with the practical tools for meaningful conversation about faith.
With chapters from 26 leading Christian thinkers, including our own
(14:42):
Chris Brooks. It's our impact gift this month to you
when you support the Ministry of Equipped. Call (888)Â 644-4144 or
visit equipped radio.org.
S2 (14:58):
Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks. I'm Colin Lambert
sitting in for Chris today. Our phone lines open at 87754836758775483675.
Our topic is forgiveness, the freedom to let go. And
our guest is June Hunte, biblical counselor and award winning
radio program host. And always so great to have a
(15:21):
conversation with. June. June, thank you for sharing a bit
of your own story. I'd like to take a look.
By the way, I didn't. I don't think I said
this at the beginning of the program, and I may
be wrong. I'm I'm not right about a lot of things,
but I believe, uh, unforgiveness is one of the biggest
issues facing our nation. It's a it's an issue that
(15:42):
is rarely talked about. Certainly Secularly rarely talked about. But
I think so many things come from unforgiveness, both physically, mentally, Spiritually,
I think our nation would be a different nation if
we learned how to forgive. Just an aside, but as
we continue to talk about the topic of forgiveness, what
(16:06):
would you say is the root cause of unforgiveness?
S3 (16:10):
Mhm. There's a wrong belief that we can hold, and
that is it's natural for me to resent those who've
wronged me. If I forgive them, they'll get away with it.
And my offenders, they need to pay for the wrongs
committed against me. Now, that can sound logical, but biblically,
(16:40):
this is not the position that God takes. And in fact,
this belief can reflect an attitude of pride that sets
us up as a higher judge than God Himself, who says, I,
even I am he who blots out your transgressions for
my own sake, and remembers your sin no more. That's
(17:00):
Isaiah 4325. The right belief, however, is because God has
totally forgiven me. I can release my resentment and choose
to forgive others. I will rely on Christ who is
living in me to forgive through me. And this belief
(17:22):
reflects a heart of humility that results in a desire
to forgive others in the same way God has forgiven us.
And the Bible does say, if you forgive other people
when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also
forgive you. And listen to this. But if you don't
(17:43):
forgive others, your heavenly father will not forgive your sins.
That's huge. This is, uh, In his famous sermon on
the Mount Matthew 614 and 15. And I think the
issue is sometimes I believe that there are those who,
(18:08):
because they refuse to forgive someone who has wronged them, um,
and they don't forgive. The Bible says the Heavenly Father
will not forgive your sins. I think it can even
result in a block to salvation. And that's very serious
because I've talked with certain people. I remember a man
(18:31):
was attending my Bible study and he said, I prayed
the prayer of salvation. I know I'm not saved. He said,
I've prayed it several times. And I thought, well, maybe
he doesn't really understand. So I led him in that, um,
understanding and even in the prayer of salvation, he said, no,
I know I'm not saved. Then I said, God, please
(18:52):
help me. And then all of a sudden I said,
is there someone you refuse to forgive? And his face
became contorted. I mean, it's like there was a change
and he said, yes, my ex-wife. And she doesn't deserve
to be forgiven. And I said, I can tell she's
(19:13):
hurt you deeply. Yes she has. I said, well, let
me show this to you. And then I read the Scripture.
Matthew 614 and 15 if you do not forgive others
their sins, your father will not forgive your sins. I said,
do you understand that this could actually be a block
(19:34):
to salvation? Because when we yield our lives to the Lord,
that means he is in control. It says, believe in
the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. That
means you give him control of your life. So then
if you're holding on to unforgiveness, then you're really not
giving him control. And he he he just was kind
(19:57):
of frozen. And finally he said he stood up strongly
and strongly, marched out of my home. And he said,
I refuse to forgive. And nine months later, same thing
with a woman in Prescott, Arizona. I was leading a
retreat there and, um, same, same scenario of a woman said,
(20:18):
I prayed multiple times to, um, have salvation and I, I,
I just know I'm not saved. And, uh, so I
again led her in. What? Just in case she didn't
really understand. And then at the end, uh, she said, no,
(20:40):
I know I'm not saved. And I shared, well, could
it be that there's someone you refuse to forgive? And
she said, absolutely. My ex-husband had an affair with my
best friend, and now they are living together. They're married
and they have money. And we and our my children,
(21:03):
we're barely making it. I said, I'm sure that's very painful.
And she said, yes, yes it is. And I said, well,
let me read to you this scripture, and I read
the part, if you forgive people when they sin against you,
your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you
(21:24):
do not forgive others their sins, your father in heaven
will not forgive your sins. Matthew 614 and 15 and
she said, oh, well, that means I have to forgive.
And she said, um, I didn't know that scripture, I
(21:46):
didn't understand. I said, well, you don't have to forgive,
but you understand that the Lord says, if you do not,
then your heavenly father will not forgive your sins. And
she said, oh, okay, I'm willing to do that. And
so she prayed. I led her in a prayer of literally, um, uh, forgiving, uh,
(22:09):
her ex-husband. And then then she said, and I also
want to forgive my former best friend. I need to
forgive her also. And it. And then I saw her,
you know, after that. And she was glowing. She was
at peace. So at times, um, uh, unforgiveness can be
(22:38):
either not understanding what God says. But more than anything,
we need to do what God says and to release
our resentment. Um, in terms of true forgiving. Uh, true
forgiveness is dismissing your demand that others owe you something
(23:01):
if they fail to meet your expectations or fail to
keep a promise or fail to treat you justly. Um, instead,
what we need to understand is what God says and and, uh,
what God's Word specifically says, and that is bear with
(23:23):
each other. This is Colossians 313. Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievance you have against one another. Forgive
as the Lord forgave you.
S2 (23:39):
June, forgiveness can be such a challenge. Is it proper
to pray. Lord, help me forgive this person. Or is
it simply a command to be obeyed?
S3 (23:52):
You know, um, that's a good question. I think what
helped me the most to change my heart was Matthew 544.
Pray for those who persecute you. Pray for those who
(24:13):
persecute you. And that means. And now what? I know
some people say, well, I just can't pray that my
whoever has wronged them has a wonderful life. I said, no,
you don't pray that. You can pray, Lord, I pray
(24:34):
that so-and-so will have a changed life because that's what
that person needs if they have been Wronging you or others. Um, I, uh,
the way I did this at one time. Um, and
by the way, I consider this a protecting of our
hearts from bitterness toward others. If you see somebody who's
(25:00):
hurt you and, uh, or hurt others, it could be
the person you care about the most. Um, you can
pray what I call the fruit of the spirit, or
what the Bible presents as the fruit of the spirit,
and that is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
(25:21):
and self-control. And so it's, Lord, I pray that and
put that person's name in there will have, uh, well,
will be filled with the fruit of love one day
and become fully aware of your unconditional love and in turn,
share your love for others. Yeah. Um, so there are
(25:45):
specifics that you can pray, but pray that they will
have a changed life through Christ.
S2 (25:52):
We'll pick up there, talk more about that when we
come back in just a moment, and we'll talk about
stages of forgiveness. And what about forgiving and forgetting? Is
that really possible? We're talking about forgiveness, the freedom to
let go. If you've had an experience with forgiveness or
need to give us a call (877)Â 548-3675. Do you appreciate
(26:20):
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(26:44):
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(27:06):
That's 888 644 4144. Or you can visit us online
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(27:29):
that also. Mary in Idaho. Salvador in Alaska. And Teresa
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to bring you great content like we're talking about today.
Topic today is forgiveness the freedom to let go. June
Hunte is our guest and we're talking about forgiveness. If
(27:52):
you have a story to share, maybe a challenge with forgiveness,
maybe a story where you've forgiven somebody and what that
has meant to you. We'd love to hear your story. 87754836758775483675.
Let's go to the phones. Uh, Kip, you're in Ohio.
(28:15):
Thank you for calling today. We appreciate it. Your question
or comment?
S4 (28:20):
I just want to identify with the last segment where
you had asked the question, uh, if it's ever appropriate
to ask God to help you to forgive and, uh, that,
that that is, that's my exact experience. Um, I was
seven years old when my mom married my first stepdad.
(28:42):
And he was. He was a violent alcoholic. And, uh,
he used to beat her mercilessly. And I watched that
until I was 18 years old. And I was a Christian,
and I knew that God wanted and expected for me
to forgive him as I have been forgiven. But if
I'd have told God that I forgave him, I would
(29:02):
have been lying, because I knew in my heart I.
I didn't hold anything against myself that he terrorized me
for all those years. But this is my mother. Uh,
it it it's difficult to to to know that she
was wronged and harmed, um, and to just let that go. Um,
(29:23):
so for years, I prayed, father, I want to forgive him,
but I know I truly don't because I just because
of the pain that my mother went through and I
shared with my wife, you know, she used to pray
with me about it. And one night at church, it
was it was a prayer service and I was going
to go up and pray with whoever prayer partner was
(29:45):
assigned to me. And we were going to pray that
God would help me to forgive my stepdad. And that
night I even before I prayed, something changed in my heart.
I had prayed, Lord, let me see him the way
that you see him. Uh, instead of just this monster
who used to beat my mom. And, uh, that night
(30:05):
I broke and I. I cried for about 20 minutes.
But in my heart, I truly had forgiven him. Um,
I did see him. Uh, as as as a as
a as an alcoholic who didn't have any tools to
cope with life. And, uh, as a matter of fact,
years later, I actually got the chance to share Jesus
(30:28):
with him and to tell him I forgive you for
all that you ever did to me and mom. And
I said, and even more importantly, God wants to forgive you.
And he said, he said, Kip, I think I've done
too much for God to forgive. And I said, how
do you think I was able to forgive you? It
was it was because of his grace. And if you'll
(30:49):
just seek him and, uh, confess your sins, he'll forgive you, too. So, uh,
that's my testimony. Um. I absolutely asked God to help
me to forgive. And he did. He really did.
S3 (31:02):
Kip. That's huge. What you've just said. Um, what we.
The Bible says I can do all things through Christ
who gives me strength. And if you say I can't.
You say, well, maybe you can't, but he can. He
see you were yielded you. You chose to yield your
(31:25):
will to his will based on what the Scripture truly says. And, uh,
that's why we can do things that in our own
strength we could not do. I had the same type
of situation that, uh, similar, uh, and I thought, how
can anybody treat my mother cruelly? How I just couldn't conceive. And, um,
(31:52):
so I was her protector, I thought. But then later
I saw I had, uh, to do what God said
to do and forgive. But I couldn't do it in
my own strength. So I respect you tremendously. Thank you. Kip.
S2 (32:09):
Yeah. Kip, thank you for sharing. We appreciate. In fact,
I want to send you a copy of, uh, of
her book of June's book. We're going to put it
in your hands. And if you can use it, great.
If not, maybe you can hand it to someone who
is in need. Uh. Hold on. We'll get you that
information and, uh, get that book out to you. Forgiveness.
The freedom to let go. Let's move along. Sue, in Indiana,
(32:30):
your question or comment for June, please.
S5 (32:34):
Hi, I. I have an ex-husband that cheated on me.
We are. We have been divorced for years and I
know the scripture about forgiveness, but sometimes I'm not sure
if I've really forgiven him and I'm not sure how
to know that I did.
S3 (32:55):
So what you've just said is a common experience. And
let me tell you, it's not that you didn't forgive.
There are times when we have to forgive again and
again and again. There was a point at which Peter said,
(33:16):
how many times should I forgive? To to the Lord Jesus.
And he said, um, you know, uh, this many times.
Seven times. No, it's 70 times seven. Um, I mean,
Peter was really upping because in the Jewish culture it
(33:38):
was four times. Um, and then all of a sudden here,
he's saying seven times. No, 70 times, meaning it's countless
whenever you need to forgive again. And that is part
of our willful choice, meaning we have the ability to choose. Uh,
(34:03):
and God has given that to us. And sometimes it
also matters. What are we allowing to think in our minds? Meaning, um.
You need to forbid reoccurring thoughts of wrongs to enter
your mind. Um. And as soon as they come, you
(34:26):
just say. I refuse to keep a record of this.
In fact, the Bible says in First Corinthians 13, love
keeps no record of wrongs, so we don't need to
be rehearsing the wrong over and over. In fact, just
we look beyond the fault and see the need. And
that is what Jesus did. He didn't focus on the
(34:50):
wrongs that people were doing. He focused on their need. So, Sue,
just because you did, you did forgive, but then you
felt like you didn't. At times we need to forgive again,
because we can have different thoughts that come in and
different experiences in our minds that come into play. And
(35:15):
we can forgive again. But it's not that you didn't
when you really were sincere, trying to have the heart
of of forgiveness. Does that make sense to you, Sue?
S5 (35:28):
Yes. Yes it does. Yes it does.
S3 (35:30):
Okay.
S5 (35:31):
It it does just kind of come back every once
in a while.
S3 (35:35):
Yeah. And so you can forgive again. Just forgive again.
S2 (35:40):
Sue, thank you so much for your call. Hang on
the line. I'd love to get you a copy of
this booklet. Forgiveness, the Freedom to Let Go. And maybe
there'll be some more helpful things in there for you.
We're talking with June Hunte about forgiveness, and you can participate.
(877)Â 548-3675 is the number. (877)Â 548-3675. To learn more about our
(36:03):
wonderful guest, June Hunte and all of her wonderful resources.
We'll link you to that today at our website equipped
radio Dot. That's radio.org. Again, call and participate in the
program 87754836758775483675. We'll be back with more with June on
(36:26):
forgiveness and more of your calls and comments. Coming up
in just a moment right here on equipped with Chris Brooks.
Stay with us.
S1 (36:52):
We live in a culture whose needs and obstacles to
faith are constantly shifting. Sean McDowell's book apologetics for an
Ever Changing Culture, addresses many current issues and will help
you share and defend the gospel with relevant answers. It's
our thank you gift for supporting equipped this month. We'll
send you a copy with your gift of any amount
(37:14):
to equipped. Just call (888)Â 644-4144 or visit equip radio.org. That's
(888)Â 644-4144 or online at equipped radio. Org.
S2 (37:33):
Welcome back to equipped with Chris Brooks I'm Colin Lambert
sitting in today tomorrow on the program a life changing
power of a pair of shoes. How can it change
the life of a child? We'll tell you tomorrow right
here on equipped with Chris Brooks. I hope you'll join
me as I sit in for Chris tomorrow. We're talking
today about forgiveness, the freedom to let go with our guest,
(37:56):
June Hunte. June, just before we get back to the phones,
I'd like to quickly go through before we run out
of time. The four stages of forgiveness for someone who
might be saying, what does this process look like? How
do I get this started? Could you step through those
four stages of forgiveness for us?
S3 (38:14):
Well, I'd be honored to. Um, first, we have to
face the offense. Uh, when you feel pain, that is personal, unfair, deep. Uh,
you have a wound that can be healed only by
forgiving the one who is wounded you. First, you must
(38:37):
face the truth of what has actually been done. Uh,
not rationalizing or having false thinking. In other words, you
don't minimize and say, well, no matter how badly he
treats me, it's okay. No, bad treatment is not okay.
There's no excuse for abuse. Um, don't assume that, uh,
(39:00):
quick forgiveness is full forgiveness by thinking. Well, as soon
as it happened, I quickly and fully forgave him. That's
what I've been taught to do. Many well-intentioned people feel
guilty if they don't extend immediate forgiveness, so they forgive quickly.
(39:20):
Yet they haven't even faced the full impact of the
offence or grieved what actually did happen. So face the
the offence. Number two feel the offence. Um, the Scripture
does say, um, there's a time for everything. And Ecclesiastes
three A time to love and a time to hate.
(39:43):
You can hate the offense. We're not to hate the offender,
but failing to feel the offence can result in just
living in denial. Um, and therefore be mistreated by someone
again and again and again. Uh, and instead we need
(40:06):
to realize. Where is the Lord in this? The Lord
is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are
crushed in spirit. I needed that scripture. Uh, in fact,
at one point I would put at the bottom of
my page whatever. Whenever writing any correspondence, I just automatically
just put that in. Not that it was relevant to
(40:27):
what was the body of the letter, and yet it
would be. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit. And he knows
what has broken our hearts. That Psalm 3418 and carrying
false guilt would be another challenge here, uh, of, uh,
(40:51):
I feel guilty, uh, if I hate what was done
to me. No, God hates sin. You can hate sin, too. Uh,
you're to hate the sin, but not the sinner. And
we have scripture. All so, so helpful scriptures that help
us in this area. The third area of the stage
(41:12):
would be to forgive the offender. Now, uh, this is
where we can argue. I don't think it's right to
forgive anyone who has wounded another person in this way. Well,
Jesus established what was right when he said, when you
(41:36):
stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them
so that your father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
That's Mark 1125. Uh, at times there's another argument we can, uh, pose.
I can forgive everyone else, but I don't have the
(41:58):
power to forgive that person. And the issue is not
your lack of power to forgive, but rather how strong
God's power is within you to forgive any sin. And
I love this scripture. His divine power has given us
everything we need to live a godly life. That second Peter, first,
(42:24):
first chapter, verse three. Uh. Another argument. Forgiveness isn't fair.
She ought to pay for her wrongs. Um, well, the
answer is God knows how to deal with each person fairly,
and he will in his own time. Here is the solution.
Romans 1219 says, do not take revenge, my friends, but
(42:49):
leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, it
is mine to mine to avenge. I will repay. Now
this is what I do. If I'm ever speaking. When
I speak on this topic, I have a meat hook.
And I'll ask how many of you know what it's
like to. Say, I cannot forgive this person. And the
(43:16):
hands go up. Usually it's about 45% of the room,
and I'll pick someone and I will have done this
early on. Then later I in in my message, I
will say, uh, I will have picked somebody that I
need that's strong. And so I go up to that person.
I said, I saw your hand earlier, would you be
(43:37):
willing to help me? And they're always willing to help me.
So I bring them up on stage. And I said,
you said that you could not forgive. Um, I understand
because that's what I said to. And so I put
a meat hook around their necks and they look at
it very strangely, and I put a burlap bag on
(43:58):
top or over the hook part, and it's hanging from
the meat hook. And then I have a table full
of small boulders about two sizes of your fist or three.
And I'll say, what has been so painful. And then
we put into that bag when they begin to say, well,
(44:26):
this is what so and so did to me. And
as they add one, I'll say, what else adds? They
add one after another after another. Finally they say, this
is getting really heavy. I said, yes. And God did
not create you to carry all that weight. You have
a choice. You can release all of that pain to him.
(44:49):
And as an act of your will, you can make
a choice. I'm going to do what God tells me
to do. I will choose to forgive this person. And
so often at this point, they have tears because they
they feel the release because they put all that weight
(45:15):
in the bag and the burlap bag, and they've released
that to God, and now they've released the offender. And
I said, now you're going to take that offender off
of your hook and put that offender onto God's hook
because he says, it's mine to avenge, I will repay.
(45:37):
Let him take care of that. You just do what
God tells you to do. And that means that it's
possible that there could be, in certain situations, finding oneness,
meaning relationships filled with resentment ultimately perish. Relationships filled with
(45:59):
forgiveness ultimately prevail. But please hear, there are times when
it is not appropriate to find oneness. Meaning if there
had been a relationship involving adultery and here are two
people you don't need to find oneness back in an
adulterous relationship. And most of all, just to understand, God
(46:25):
intends to give you freedom, the freedom of forgiveness.
S2 (46:30):
What a powerful message. June Hunt, our guest today. The
book is forgiveness, the freedom to let go. And you
can find out more about June and this incredible resource
at our website, Radio.com that's equipped radio.org. June, thank you
so much for being with us today. Always great to
talk to you and appreciate your insights for us today
(46:54):
on this incredibly difficult topic of forgiveness. Friends, thank you
for joining us. We'll talk to you here tomorrow. Equipped
with Chris Brooks is a production of Moody Radio, a
ministry of Moody Bible Institute.
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