Fear, Tribe, and the Leadership Switch That Gets You Shipping

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(01:00:11):
All right, so just so I understand for my
own understanding, the
businesses, exponential
life and Ascend Academy, are those the
only businesses that you have?
No, I have one more called Third Drive
Media, and that's
basically a brand strategy for
startups.

(01:00:32):
Oh, okay, cool.
Yeah.
All right, great.
Also, I should have mentioned this
earlier, still getting my
bearings here, but it's a
no holds bar podcast.
So I tell everybody, be 100%
authentically you to the
extent that you want people to
see you publicly.
All right, so no restrictions on language
or whatever it is that we talk about, you

(01:00:53):
know, anything that that adds to the
impact or value for the audience.
Will do.
Okay, sounds good.
All right.
Cool, man.
All right.
So let's see.
I have got my scripts all set.
You're all set.
Told me a second ago,
you were born ready.
So we're going to test that out.
Let's go for it.

(01:01:15):
All right.
Christian, I really do one more time.
I appreciate you coming on the show and I
appreciate you being
willing to share your
experience as an
insight with my audience.
Thanks, Josh.
Very excited.
All right.
So by the end of the episode, what is it
that you want people to take away?

(01:01:37):
I would say that you have the capability
to create more change, more
impact, more transformation
that you think you do and sort of really
understanding what that is
and offering it to the world.

(01:01:59):
It's really not just a strategy.
I think it's a responsibility.
I like that.
Not a strategy.
It's a responsibility.
I want to kind of jump right into that if
you don't mind
because now you already got
my gears turning.
We're literally like 30 seconds in and
I've got a million questions.
So first of all, kind of, I'm a big

(01:02:21):
personal development guy
and this kind of has some
of that zone of genius type vibes to it,
kind of what you just said.
So if you want to kind of expand on that
a little bit, why is
it a responsibility to
lean into this kind of stuff?
Well, because there's a parable in the

(01:02:44):
Bible about these three servants, right?
And the parable is, I think it's often
perceived as just about
sort of this devotion to God.
But I think it's more than it's, you
know, as much in the
Bible, it's about this and
this and this and this.
It's about these three servants and they
were given different

(01:03:04):
"talents" and talents is just
money, right?
It's a weight of money.
One talent, four talents, five talents.
And then the idea there is that one of
them buries the money
that was given to them, to
him.
Two of them invest
them and multiply them.
And when the master comes back, the

(01:03:25):
master, all three of them
basically report back and
say one of them say, "Hey,
here, I doubled my money.
I doubled your money rather.
I doubled your money."
And then the third one says, "Look, I was
fearful and I think of
you in these particular
negative ways and I buried
the money, but here it is.
At least I saved it."
And that one is basically cast out and

(01:03:47):
called "lazy and worthless" actually.
So it's pretty harsh language.
I really believe that parable to be true
in the sense that we can just sort of get
by and do what we do and not multiply,
not amplify, not grow.
So there's no increase in the thing that
we do for the world, for other people.
And that is the best way to have a very

(01:04:08):
stagnant, very unhappy life.
So it is a responsibility.
If you were given something, you got a
college education or
born, let's say, in the United
States in the 21st century, you have all
these inclinations, these gifts that were
given to you.
Even some of the trauma that you have is
a gift because you have a
certain angle, a certain
passion for something

(01:04:29):
or against something.
All of these things together plus your
expertise, it's a very
unique way to solve problems.
And if you don't take that, if you don't
understand what was given
to you, if you don't think
it's a
responsibility, you'll just bury it.
I just think it makes
for a very unhappy life.

(01:04:49):
Forget about the Judgment Day and doom
and gloom kind of scenarios.
It's just a very unhappy life.
And it's also what a loss it is for the
people who love you,
respect you, and want you to
flourish, the people who can benefit from
exactly what you have to offer.
So because of those things, I think it's

(01:05:10):
a responsibility, not
just an opportunity, not
just a strategy.
It's a really interesting take that I
haven't necessarily heard
phrased that way before.
So let me ask then in your opinion, how
many people actually see it that way?
I think as a percentage, I don't remember

(01:05:31):
who the who's who who's caught it is.
And I should remember
because I caught it all the time.
But most men live a
life of quiet desperation.
I think I think it's a minority.
Yeah.
Wow.
And why do you think that is?
Fear.
Fear.
Fear.
Fear of what?

(01:05:51):
It's not even fear of
failure, I don't think.
I think at the very core, it's it's
really fear of rejection.
Right. And my theory is that we are, you
know, we're all tribal people.
We as a species survive in groups.
So the when we when we when we sort of
had this inner inkling,
I want to build something

(01:06:12):
new or write something
new or create something new.
The fear sets in what if people reject
me, then I will die
because the rejection from
the tribe historically, evolution from
the evolutionary
standpoint for thousands of years
is death.
Right.
You can't survive alone.
So I think that's a primal fear and it
sort of trumps everything else.
And of course, it's completely, you know,

(01:06:33):
it's proportional to
reality in the 21st century.
But that primal fear is, I
think, the main mechanism.
And I think the big aha moment for for
people that can overcome
it is that actually what
our desire to fit in is
in service to our tribe.
Right.
And the best way to actually fit in in

(01:06:54):
service to our tribe is
to stand out in service to
a tribe.
You know, I'm saying so
it's a little counterintuitive.
But if you fit in,
everybody wants to fit in.
They'll all do the same thing.
There's really the tribe won't flourish.
Sure.
But if you decide to stand out, not just
for yourself, but stand
out in service to others,
that's when you actually truly fit in.

(01:07:15):
You become
extraordinarily valuable for your tribe.
And so if somebody is living one of these
quiet lives of despair, right.
And I imagine that that there's a veil
probably of some kind,
you know, and they they may
not even realize
that's what they're doing.
So how do you get
somebody to realize that?

(01:07:37):
And then how do they how do they start
taking steps to to
removing themselves from it?
Well, there's two scenarios.
One is your pain becomes unbearable and
you then you start searching.
Or the second scenario is to listen to
your podcast and actually
listen to our conversation
and go, I think I should look into this,
you know, proactive.
So it's either proactive or reactive.
Right.

(01:07:58):
So, you know, to give you an idea, I, I
grew up, I grew up a refugee.
So I was a refugee was I was child when I
was five years old, we moved around.
I was I we moved four countries by the
time I was seven years old.
And basically my.
Fitting in sort of the pain of wanting to

(01:08:19):
fit in was amplified because I would they
kept changing the
culture and the language on me.
Right. So and and the people and the
settings and everything.
And basically, I grew up for quite a bit,
for quite a long time,
feeling like an outsider, like a refugee,
quite literally in
cultural ways and language

(01:08:39):
ways and in how I
looked even how I sounded.
And so I'm describing to you the process
right on my end, which was unusual, but I
think people can relate because their
version of that is also true.
So by the time I was probably I don't
know, I think I was maybe 18 ish.
I was in college.

(01:09:00):
I was sort of midway through college.
I something flipped and I
decided to you know what?
I don't think I can stand out.
I can fit in even if I try.
I'll just stand out.
I'll just embrace the stand out.
I just embrace the weirdness and I
started dressing a
certain way, becoming more
creative, artistic like you could see me
literally a mile away.

(01:09:21):
Right. And of course, by that time I was
in the Soviet Union.
It's like this grayscale place where
everybody dresses the same.
So I was like this
bright spot everywhere you go.
And, you know, eventually it sort of.
It really defined my my my professional
journey because I
decided in anything I do, I

(01:09:43):
will not try to be conventional.
I will try to do what I do best,
embracing the weird to the
extreme, not for the sake
of attention, but for
the sake of authenticity.
Right. Sure.
And and that paid off really quickly and
that never never went
away as almost like this.
You can in theory think of something to

(01:10:05):
be true, but then you can experience it.
Right. So for me, like literally I'm
graduating from college
with a degree in economics.
All of my friends are going
into banking into whatever.
Right. And it was this strange time where
the collapse of the
Soviet Union, everything was
like new. It was chaos.
So there's all kind of chaos and all
kinds of opportunity

(01:10:25):
all at the same time.
So everybody's going obviously with a
master's degree in
economics, you're fairly
employable. But I by then was like, no,
I'm I'm actually weird.
I'm I'm I'm not going
to do the conventional.
So I started a music career.
The odds of a music career succeeding
versus the odds of a
master's degree career
succeeding are like incomparable.

(01:10:46):
Right. Yeah.
You know, so it's like, of course, I
would be probably broke and unsuccessful.
And I was broke and unsuccessful for
maybe a couple of years.
And then it all came together.
And then I was way more successful than
the conventional journey.
Right. Why?
Well, because my I

(01:11:07):
developed a personal brand.
It was all instinctual.
I didn't have the sort of the even the
terminology for that.
But I basically said, I can do music, I
can dance, I can do a show, I can
create something that is so unique that a
lot of people will want.
And only I give that to people.
And that scales. Right.
So from there, I realized that you can

(01:11:29):
apply that in anything, actually,
you know, in anything.
If you embrace who you are, couple it
with your expertise
and then promote it as
something unique, you
solve a unique problem.
That is the sort of the
edge that you can have in life.
That's interesting. And you know what?
I mean, I'm super excited about this
conversation because, you know, when you

(01:11:51):
when you say it, when we're talking about
it and you're explaining this to me, it
seems so simple, but in practice, it's
it's the furthest thing from simple.
Right. I mean, we hear it all the time.
Just be yourself, lean into
who you are, be who you are.
You know, follow your
passion, follow your dream.
You know, and there's
there's truth to all of it.
But walking the steps is

(01:12:11):
a whole different story.
So so speaking of walking the steps, why
don't we why don't we go back?
Take me on a journey of like where you
come from all the way up to the point
you just talked about
getting into the music career.
Help us understand, you know, who is who
is Christian Flores?
Yeah, yeah. So I'm

(01:12:33):
I'm a I'm a mutt. Right.
So my mom is Russian. My dad's Chilean
and they're both Marxist, by the way.
That's another layer, cultural layer that
is very interesting.
So they met a student in
Moscow and they found love.
They got married. They had me in a few
months after I was born.
We moved to Chile. They
were graduate. They graduated.
They were building a life there.

(01:12:53):
So I was there five years growing up in
Chile as a normal Latin boy,
actually, look Latin and everything.
And then there was a military coup there.
And my dad ended up in
a concentration camp.
My dad, my mom was in hiding.
You know, we were super lucky because he
didn't get tortured.
A lot of people got tortured and killed,
just like disappeared

(01:13:14):
without trace, that kind of thing.
It was a massive deal in this in the mid
70s, early to mid 70s.
And we ended up in a
refugee facility, basically,
and under the protection of the United
Nations, and we're trying to get asylum.
So, you know, when you start life with
that kind of uncertainty,
it sort of shapes you in a certain way.

(01:13:36):
And so all of our life that we thought
would have was gone.
There was zero
certainty about the future.
We didn't know what's going to happen.
So we ended up in Germany
for a little bit in Munich.
And then my mom wanted
to go back to Russia.
This is Soviet Union year.
So we ended up in living
in this communal apartment,
sharing an apartment with another family,

(01:13:57):
which is horrible. Right.
And I have very bad
memories of that time as a child.
And I was sick. I almost died.
You know, like I was in
hospitals all the time.
And then my dad got a
contract in Africa and Mozambique.
Also, very mixed bag.
A year in, it was on one end for a child.
There was like this tropical setting.

(01:14:18):
It's just incredible, lush fun.
But also. A major sort
of whiplash culturally,
like another language,
fourth country by age seven.
And then a year in, there was a there was
a civil war that started there.
And so most of it was sort
of in the bush in the north.

(01:14:39):
But we got bombings,
we got food shortages,
we had like food rations
for certain types of products.
And I was my dad tells
me I was quiet for a year
because I was confused
about language and culture.
And because I spoke already spoke
Spanish and Russian and then this
environment was Portuguese.

(01:15:00):
Right. And I'd forgotten the Spanish a
little bit when we were in Russia
because children really switch quickly.
So my dad was hanging
out with other Chileans.
There was like 100 families of
all all of them exiles. Right.
And they're so my dad was
like, why are you quiet?
And I'm like, I don't
know, you know, I'm confused.
It's all paralyzed.
But I pushed through it

(01:15:20):
and I learned Portuguese.
And then the year after that, they sent
me to a local school
like all African kids.
I was like the only non-African.
Maybe there was one more.
And then I learned Portuguese in a year.
And then they sent me to an international
school that was like for expats.
So I learned English
the next year after that.
So by age eight, nine, I spoke four
different languages.

(01:15:41):
So I pushed through the
difficulty and the strangeness.
And it was a great
childhood, but it was, you know,
I don't think it was
great in a conventional way.
There was all kinds of things that were
better than growing up.
Let's say my kids in the US and other
things that were way worse, right?
Dangerous and things like that.
And then my parents got divorced.

(01:16:02):
We moved back to the Soviet
Union and it was starting over.
It was horrible again.
Terrible climate, food shortages, bread
lines, one bedroom apartment.
I slept in the kitchen for a year.
It was me.
My my mom was a single mom now and it was
my sister and I and her
and starting over. No car, no nothing.

(01:16:23):
And it was just a hard adjustment again.
You know, so I got a lot of sort of
complete starting over
environments by all
the way through 14, 15.
And after that, I sort
of things started turning.
I went to college.
I got a degree in economics.
I got really good education.
And then literally as I was

(01:16:44):
graduating and think of this,
I was getting a master's in economics.
I was actually studying Karl Marx and
writing papers and
studying other systems.
And the whole system
collapses the year I graduate.
The Soviet Union literally implodes.
Wow. That same year, 1991.
And it's a blank slate.

(01:17:05):
So you got to see a perspective that you
were you were actively learning about.
I knew the system. I studied it.
Yeah.
The economic system.
I was living the aftermath,
which is a lot of lack, right?
A lot of oppression, a lot of mediocrity.
And then again, for the third time in my
life, I saw danger, right?
Because there's there were another
attempted coup there.

(01:17:26):
They were trying to sort of reverse it.
And I saw tanks in the streets of Moscow
and barricades and the Red Square,
that kind of thing. Right.
So so it's like a strange, like almost
like, you know, a
Forrest Gump type existence.
Right. And I've been to
strange historic places.
And then after that, all that happened,
that's when I made the decision.

(01:17:46):
I was musical. I was I had a great voice.
I was a dancer. I'm going to try this.
I feel like I have I
have the goods, you know.
And it was just the right moment in time.
And I trusted my gut and I became one of
the top artists in Russia in about two,
three years. You
know, so I got a contract.
It offered to me
literally by the end of year one.
I was on national
television by the end of year one.

(01:18:07):
And I went from like tiny clubs to medium
clubs to sports arenas
to campaigning for Boris
Yeltsin. This is 96 ish.
And that's when the communists were
coming back and they were winning.
And he had sort of
American actually consultants
doing sort of something like a rock the
vote type thing where they wanted
to activate the youth vote.

(01:18:28):
And I at the time had a number one hit.
I had a series of hits
and this one was massive.
It was called Our Generations.
It was very anthem-y and it
was literally about freedom.
Like the song was about freedom.
So it was a perfect fit.
So they included it included in all kinds
of campaigns and ads.
I went on TV and I toured for Boris
Yeltsin and things like that.
And and he won. Right.

(01:18:50):
And so we us not just me, a lot of
musicians were doing that.
I think my my song was sort of perfectly
suited thematically.
But we did contribute
to it in a small part.
And I'm very proud of that, actually.
Now, it didn't help in the long run
because I thought the whole idea was
this is it. This is the course went our

(01:19:11):
generation, the sign of liberation.
And well, I think freedom
wasn't meant to be wasn't in the cards.
So it's reverting to a lot
of sort of oppressive stuff.
You know, by probably 99, 2000, it
started slowly reverting
and then it was full blown after maybe
five, six years after that.

(01:19:33):
So I guess we're not we're not really a
sign of liberation
after all, unfortunately.
Wow, that's amazing.
All right, let's let's pause there
because I've got questions.
OK, you know, so so I've got to ask like.
Where do I want to start?
OK, so the first one
I'll ask, I guess, is you.

(01:19:53):
It sounds like you had a lot of
uncertainty when you were young.
And and is it fair to say that that has
shaped you kind of throughout your life?
I mean, it had no choice, right? Yeah.
There's this there's this dichotomy that
we hear often, you know,
today's world that sacrifice and
struggles necessary for success.

(01:20:16):
Do you believe that? And if so, does this
has how has this done that for you?
Well, you know, it's
it's it's absolutely true.
And unfortunately, there
are no shortcuts. Right.
So I do have I do have sort of a formula
how to reverse engineer it.
But bottom line is, you know, an easy
life creates weak people, weak people

(01:20:37):
create hard lives, hard lives create
strong people and strong people
create good lives. Right.
And that's just true unless and.
But it's not like this.
This is like you have no choice.
You were born, let's say, in America, in
the most prosperous country
in the history of humanity.
And because of that,
you're a weak person.
That's not true at all. Actually, I think

(01:20:57):
it really depends on how
conscience and intentional you are to
create a hard life for yourself
in that in a constructive
way, not as a victim. Right.
So, you know, if your kids are it's just
like parenting, right?
If if you are pretty well off and your
kids are not given any difficulty,

(01:21:18):
no obstacles and complete entitlement,
they will become very weak people.
But you can be a wealthy person with kids
who are who are taught a work ethic,
integrity, hard work and actually learn
how to overcome obstacles.
There'll be strong people as well. Right.
And the same thing is I really think it's
true for professionals.

(01:21:38):
One of the favorite sort
of funny things that I say,
you know, about being a
high performance coach and that
when I work with
professionals is that in some way,
I am teaching Americans to be way more
American than they are.
And the reason for that is because
America is about the
pursuit of happiness.
It's about entrepreneurship.

(01:22:01):
And because of the the
good life that we have here,
that gets actually
exchanged for certainty.
People want more
certainty and more safety.
They are addicted to predictability.
So they stop pursuing happiness in
exchange for safety.
And they stop pursuing an entrepreneur.
Right. Entrepreneurship is it's a French

(01:22:23):
comes from a French
word as trying. Right.
As creating something new.
So they they have these ideas, these
instincts, these desires, these passions,
and they don't pursue
them because it's unsafe.
It's uncertain. There's too much risk.
And they're so used to the safety
predictability that they sort of

(01:22:44):
end up having this
life of quiet desperation.
But the very essence of
America is the opposite.
Right. Is is this is
this is the frontier.
This is dangerous.
This is all or nothing.
This is you you you go and you explore
and you risk and then you
reap the benefits.

(01:23:05):
That's the that's the spirit of America.
And it's a pursuit of
happiness. The same thing. Right.
You know that I have a podcast as well
called the XC podcast.
And I interview people of all kinds of
people, but specifically about what
has come to do with
human flourishing. Right.
So some of them are academics.
This one guy I interviewed, he's an
expert in happiness worldwide.

(01:23:26):
And he basically tells me that actually
in there to that America came
went from third place to 24th or
something like that in happiness.
This is the country that basically says
the pursuit of happiness
is in the founding documents.
So it said something about America,
Americans, how we are now.

(01:23:47):
So one of the things that I
do as a coach is help people
shake them up a little bit
and go, dude, you live in.
This is the best
place in the world. Right.
This is the best time in history.
You know, pursue
happiness, create new things.
This is how to do it. And
I teach them how to do it.
But I think a lot of the capability to do

(01:24:09):
it and the mindset to do it
and the even sort of the expertise of how
to get there comes from
having a lot of lack, a lot of
oppression, a lot of limitations,
a lot of danger and all those things.
So so, you know, in a way, it really does
almost like give you this.
These extra muscles.
Yeah, you can pass on to other people.
That's really interesting. OK,

(01:24:31):
I'm trying to slow down the questions in
my head so I can get
them out of my mouth.
But so so I'm I'm recognizing that
there's a balance here.
You said it right in in, you
know, how do you keep this stuff
from letting you fall
into the victim mindset?
Right, because there's there's a couple

(01:24:52):
of different types of people, right?
There's the type of people that use it,
that lean into it and say, I'm glad,
you know, that that happened to me
because it shaped me into who I am today.
And then there's those people that say,
well, I'm only who I am today
because of the things that happened.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think I think you're right.
I think it's honestly I'm

(01:25:12):
not sure I have the answer.
I have theories, perhaps
because it is a mystery.
And I've seen people with way less sort
of uncertainty and tragedy
and let lives be perpetual victims.
And I don't have I don't exactly know.
But I guess my theory is that perhaps,
first of all, it is a choice, I believe

(01:25:32):
you can make a choice.
And there is a certain level of comfort
and safety in the in staying a victim.
Because then you're not
responsible for anything, you know.
So there's there there
is a level of safety in
unsafe to in sort of this dysfunction,

(01:25:54):
ongoing dysfunction.
And some it's a choice to stay there,
not because you're unhappy, but because
you feel safe there.
Right. So that's one choice.
I think the other theory is
that maybe it's a lack of.
You're not around the right people.
So it's maybe this
like a social environment,

(01:26:16):
because if you're in a tribe of victims,
you'll most likely more likely
stay a victim because you just don't know
anything else outside of that.
If you put yourself in
a tribe of victors, you.
You will feel
uncomfortable staying a victim.
Yeah. And that's also a choice.
You can choose who you're who you're who

(01:26:37):
you're hanging out with.
And I think that's where choosing a
tribe, a community, getting a coach,
being part of something that is
aspirational is a massive deal
because it accelerates your thinking
almost like biosemosis.
Forget about the
structured step by step part.
It's just being around people
like that that energizes you
and sort of, I would say,

(01:26:58):
calibrates your mindset.
Quite a bit. And I mean, a big part of
what when I do coaching wise is cohorts.
I I really don't like
doing just one on one coaching
because the tribe has so
much power in the community.
So I really do like a hybrid model
because and I think any anyone
who is part of those groups will confirm

(01:27:21):
that it's not it's I am not
I'm not the secret sauce.
I have some insights
and wisdom, obviously.
But the community contributes to that in
a way that I can't, you know.
So being in a circle of people who are
not victims, I think it's a big deal.
But other than that, you know, there's so
many moving parts to this question.

(01:27:41):
Right. Yeah. Really
is, I think, a mystery.
And like it's not a black
and white type of situation.
You know, sometimes it's there's too much
drama, too much too much PTSD.
You need a lot of therapy, a lot of
healing before you can get out of it
and actually do something.
So I don't think it's a
one fits all kind of thing.
It's not I think
reduction reductionism in that

(01:28:05):
to that question is probably not a not a
good it's it makes for a good sound bite.
You know, but I don't think it's helpful
because I be listening now
and and you're just can't you have
trouble getting out of bed.
Yeah. So no hype, no sort of
inspirational code for me will
will actually move the needle.

(01:28:26):
And we to honor that as well.
I appreciate the
transparency in that in that question,
you know, or in that response rather,
because I think it's true.
And and if there's one thing that's, you
know, that resonates with with me,
with my audience, it's it's authenticity.

(01:28:47):
Right. And and I think that's a really
honest answer to that question.
So all right, let's we're going to bounce
around a little bit here.
I want to kind of get into some of the
business side of things.
Right. And you've talked even in this
this podcast already
kind of a little bit, a little bit around

(01:29:08):
purpose and and how we're shaped
and stuff like that. How do you how do
you balance that with
with profit in the way
that business is built?
And what I mean by that question is like,
you know, how do you ingrain
that kind of stuff into your business to
help succeed, help that business succeed?

(01:29:29):
You understand the question?
Yeah, I think so.
I think you can correct
me if I got it wrong. Yeah.
I think one of the one
element that seems to sort of
come to mind is.
The mindset or the view of money as
it is given to you for your
efforts and for your time.

(01:29:51):
Versus it is.
Given to you gladly for
the value you provide.
And I think it's in those are two
different ways of thinking about money.
Right. One is safer.
One is more dangerous.
One is has limited upside
financially, profit profit wise.

(01:30:12):
The other one has unlimited
profitability, but it's more risky.
And you have to take more responsibility.
So look, I can let's say I'm a I've
changed several careers.
So one of them is
video production. Right.
We did music videos. We did ads.
We did, you know, about us videos, things
like that. Right. Short films.
So we have a lot of expertise in that.

(01:30:35):
I can I can be an in house or
even a like contractor company
to somebody who wants
video video content.
And I'm working for a salary and I'm
basically reporting to somebody
and they expect me really to to my
expertise is a baseline.

(01:30:55):
So it's not like I'm a nobody.
But then on top of that,
there's these layers, right?
It's like, look, we're
paying you 100000 a year.
I need we need you to be nine to five in
the office or you can have,
you know, whatever,
whatever set up there is.
Now you're exchanging $100000 for your
full attention X amount of hours.
And then on top of that, there's layers
and layers and layers.
We need you to be on those meetings. You

(01:31:16):
need to you need to show up.
You need to make us
believe you're working hard.
Like there's all these layers of
appearance of of business.
And in the limit, it could be
you can be well compensated.
Maybe it's a quarter of a million. Right.
You have a small team
under you. Great. Wonderful.
But you're still
exchanging time for money effort.

(01:31:37):
You know, you are
building somebody else's empire.
Now, when I if I can be even within a
company or outside of a company, go.
I can create a video product for you that
will give you a 30 percent jump in sales.
And I have a formula, an expertise not
only in the production side,

(01:31:58):
not I'm not just
delivering you a video product.
I'm giving you a strategy.
I'm giving you comparable stats.
I'm giving you a virality factor
that I can I can demonstrate from two.
The last three clients I worked with that
will give you an extra half a million
dollar. What I want for for to per
project for this is

(01:32:19):
is is 150 per project.
It's going to take me a month or two
months to do my team.
I'm risking more.
I'm stretching myself to a higher level.
But I'm but I'm
exchanging value for money.
I'm not exchanging hours.
You know, but I think that that idea.

(01:32:42):
Is a powerful idea in any business, and
I'm talking about any business, right?
Very few exceptions where that doesn't
quite apply, you know.
But I have I work on these on these
concepts with people.
But I have this concept.
It's not my concept that I
describe it a certain way.
The concept of offers like everything you

(01:33:03):
do must be an offer of some sort.
And the distinguishing.
So it's not a service, but it's an offer.
And the difference between a service and
an offer is that a service may may
sort of solve a problem one way or
another, but an offer
is much more distinct,
much more granular. So an offer, there's
four P's to an offer.

(01:33:23):
Who is the persona?
Who is the kind of person you're serving?
What kind of problem are you solving?
What kind of promise can you make them?
And what kind of what kind of process are
you taking them through
to solve that problem?
You know, I was just
talking to one of my guys.
He's a tenured physics professor.
And he's he I'm like, you know, you can

(01:33:44):
the lecture series that
you're going to start in the fall.
How would it look differently if you
would if you would approach
the lecture series as an offer?
He goes, what do you mean?
We're talking about some
other thing that he wants to do.
I go, well, look, if the if the students
are there and they're to
they're there to honestly,
to check a box, a lot of them.

(01:34:07):
And they won't be engaged.
So you'll be teaching with
200 students in the lecture.
But if you present as a present your
lecture series as an offer and you say,
look, if you want to take my class,
you what the best person to take this
class is the person who not
only wants to understand physics,
but understands how physics can shape
your character, your
life, your worldview.

(01:34:28):
That's the persona.
Right. How physics physics can.
10 X your understanding of business, of
life, of marriage and things like that.
And I promise that I
can deliver that to you.
And the process through which I will
deliver to you is a
series of five lectures.
And I expect you to do X, Y and Z.

(01:34:49):
And at the end of it, there's a promise.
The promise is that you will have these
three things that are takeaways that you
can apply anywhere in your life.
So, see, it's the same lecture series,
but it's packaged as an offer.
Now you're not you're not dealing with.
And he's a tenured professor, so he

(01:35:10):
doesn't have to do it.
Sure. Right.
Because his position is certain.
But if he starts thinking of everything
he does as an offer,
that is probably going to be the better
subscribed class that he ever teaches.
You know, so that's why I mean, this
principle is applicable

(01:35:31):
in almost any industry.
In any position, even if it's not, quote
unquote, entrepreneurial.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the first time I've ever
heard it phrased in that way, you know,
between a service and an offer.
I think that that's really
an important distinction.
And I'm already thinking about all the
different ways that I can turn my
services into offers

(01:35:53):
no matter what it is,
whether it's this podcast or whether it's
any of my other businesses.
So so help me understand then because you
I know you do a lot of work with personal
branding, you know, and stuff like this.
Where does this come in when it relates
to marketing or personal brand?
You know, the difference or this

(01:36:13):
distinction between
an offer and a service?
Well, I think that's sort of
the beauty that what it does.
The offer creates a focal point between
your expertise and your personality.
All of the what we'll call it the edge,
right, your personal edge.
And it's the view, it's a beautiful thing
because, again, it comes down to that

(01:36:34):
thing that you and I
discussed about about fitting in.
Right. Like if if it's just your
expertise, you're just a banker, a
lawyer, a professor, a plumber, right, a
writer, a dancer, a
choreographer, a film director.
That's expertise.
And so what you put on there, what you
project to the world, it could be a

(01:36:55):
resume or a conversation in a cafe, is
here are my here are my
this here are my skills.
This is my experience.
You know, this is I've done this and this
and this and have this kind of education
and have these capabilities.
That's expertise.
When you start looking at the qualities,
the passions, the traumas, the nuances,

(01:37:15):
the the rough around the
edges pieces that make you you.
And you really, really connected with
with your expertise out of that, you can
create an offer that
is absolutely unique.
There's no competition.
There's only one of those.
Right.
There's only one of those.
And that makes an offer.
It pops.

(01:37:37):
Right.
You can say, look, I this is who I am.
Like, I don't have to prove it to you,
but I can tell you this is my backstory.
And this is the offer persona problem.
Promise process.
Yeah, this is this is
the real interesting.
This is the offer.
So what we do even in our sort of
beginning in my coaching, I basically

(01:37:58):
say, look, I will get you from zero to an
offer in a business model
attached to it in nine weeks.
And that is an offer to to you, right?
To the person listening.
And you can go, yeah, I've always wanted
to like have all this stuff, man.
Like I've always felt that
there's more to me than this.

(01:38:19):
Whatever, whatever the
thing that you're doing.
And I feel like, can you help me organize
this stuff into
something that's more compelling?
And I go, yeah, I can
take you there in nine weeks.
And it's a promise.
You know, and it's a promise and I'll
talk to you obviously.
And if I feel like, I don't think I can
fulfill in that
promise, I won't make sure.
Sure.
But yeah, but really it is sort of, I

(01:38:39):
know how to do that.
I have the expertise and have the touch
and I have the method and I have a
process and I can make you this promise
and you will absolutely experience that.
So that makes my, my offer more
compelling in contrast with every other
coach you will encounter.
Because there's nothing like it.
And the cool thing is that whoever you

(01:39:00):
are, you can be this unique brand and all
you, you don't have to
worry about competing.
You're not having to
worry about fitting in.
You don't even have to worry
about the statistics, right?
You know, you're not a statistic.
You're a specific.
All you have to worry about now is how do
you publish, how do you tell the story so

(01:39:21):
that the right people will find you and
you are the person they're looking for.
Wow.
That's interesting.
So, okay.
Help me understand where
identity comes into this.
What I mean by that, Christian is, um,
I'm looking for barriers or roadblocks
that people might experience in trying to

(01:39:42):
meld personal brands with
an offer or a business, even.
You know, and so I imagine and correct me
if I'm wrong, I'm not trying to assume,
I'm just saying what comes to mind.
But like I imagine, you know, when I say
identity, people have ideologies, they've
got their religions, they've got their
politics, they got all these things that
they feel make them who they are.

(01:40:02):
Right.
And so how do they, how, how do you coach
somebody, you know, in, in being able to
present as a brand without being attached
to those types of things?
Or do you encourage that they are?
That's a good, that's a good question.
So, but I'll give you for example, one,
one illustration, perhaps that might be a
good answer and you can correct me if I'm

(01:40:24):
off or maybe you need
some, some more details.
So for example, I say,
look, I am, I am a Christian.
I don't have a faith-based program,
although in every module, I
quote the Bible a little bit.
So if you're okay with that, you can be
whatever, you know, an
atheist or ally here.
It doesn't matter to me.
As long as you understand this is what

(01:40:44):
I'm going to be doing.
Now, okay, so that's then,
anybody can be part of it.
And I've had people who are completely
non-believers in any way, shape or form,
and they're fine with it.
And I basically say, look, the reason I
quote it is because there's something
timeless about these, these, this ancient
wisdom that is particularly valuable to

(01:41:05):
you, regardless of what you believe.
Because things change, culture changes.
There's all kinds of things that are sort
of almost like a chaos.
And because every, when everything
changes all the time, it's really
valuable to
understand what never changes.
So I'll give you a very
concrete, practical example.
For example, we're trying to build a,
build a, a business.

(01:41:26):
You go, I feel like I need more of a
personal brand so people can remember it.
I can be valued.
I can be recognized.
I can be sought after.
And I start with a very foundational
thing like, okay, what's your fuel?
What, how, how do you wake up every day
and be creative, clear, focused?
High intensity, high energy kind of, and

(01:41:46):
also playful all at the same time.
So you can create this new
thing that you want to do.
Because if you don't, if you don't have
that state of being, you want, you will
be in survival mode, right?
Most people are in survival mode, like
most, more than half
statistically, right?
So I need to, I need to help you get to a
place that is creative, so you can create
out of the core of who you are, right?

(01:42:07):
Out of your zone of, zone of genius in your words. out of your zone of genius in your words.
Well, what influences
that state of being?
Well, according to scripture
and one of the top
longitudinal studies out of Harvard
that are completely secular
is that you're like a

(01:42:27):
spiritual practice of some sort,
your relationship and
harmony or disharmony
with your sort of nuclear family
and the closest friendships that you have
are the three most heavily
weighted defining factors
of happiness.

(01:42:49):
So it doesn't matter if
you're a believer or not,
this is just true of any
human being on the planet,
any tradition, this is just true.
So I can bring,
because I have this faith,
I can bring these
dimensions to your attention
and say, okay, we want you to get
to this high performance state.
These are like way more heavily weighted

(01:43:10):
towards that state of being
than some sort of hype
from a personal coach
that will hype you up
and get you all excited
and you will fade in
a second, like a week.
Sure.
Let's work on these big things.
So we go deep, I'm like, okay,
tell me about your nuclear family.

(01:43:32):
What's good, what's
bad, what's in the middle?
How can we improve this?
Who are your friends?
Do you hang with them often?
What do they give you?
Do you have any
friends that are super toxic?
How do you emotionally
self-regulate every morning?
Because if you wanna
build something significant,
you're not only have to deal with stress,

(01:43:53):
you are literally creating stress
because you are literally
stepping into uncertainty.
You're creating chaos by
creating something new.
So how do you process that?
Well, you need some sort
of contemplative practice
that allows you to have perspective.
Do you have one of those?
So does that make sense?
Does that work for you
when it comes to melding it?

(01:44:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's how it works for me.
No, that's great.
I love how you put it.
And what I wrote down was
faith, family and friendship.
And faith can mean,
there's a big bucket there,
spirituality, whatever.
It could be a transcended experience.
Let's put it that way. Sure, sure, sure.
In the Harvard study,
it's transcended experience
is the word that they use.

(01:44:36):
Okay.
Well, that's really interesting.
So if you were to be coaching somebody
and is this something that you look at?
Is this something that you say,
okay, where do you check these boxes?
And what happens if they don't?
Or if one of those is out of balance?
So yeah, we have this
thing called the radar, right?

(01:44:58):
And it's seven Fs.
I sort of made it into Fs
because it's easy to remember.
And I want people to
sort of get that into their,
from a concept into their
minds, into their bones.
So then you don't have to think about it,
but it's seven Fs and then faith, family,
friendships are top.
And then there's finances, there's
fitness, there's fun.

(01:45:19):
So it's seven of them.
And basically we self-assess ongoing.
So in the beginning we self-assess.
And it's from one to five where you're at
without overthinking it, just
what's your instinct on this?
Is it, yeah, I dropped the mic.
It's extraordinarily accurate.

(01:45:42):
So if you and I, or
somebody in the audience,
I have a conversation with you
and I will talk about the radar.
I literally don't have to
know anything about you.
And if you self-assess, honestly,
I will tell you that if you
score between a four and a five
or like between an eight and a 10,
I think it's a 10 scale that
we now use, we used to do five.
Between an eight and a

(01:46:03):
10 across six or seven
of the dimensions, you are in
extraordinary shape.
You're gonna do really well.
Even if you're in a bad spot right now,
you're gonna be fine.
And then the reverse is true.
If you're scoring two or three,
on like two or three dimensions
where there's this big dip on
the radar, you are in trouble.

(01:46:25):
If you're not in trouble now,
you will be in trouble like next week.
You're absolutely,
that's completely inevitable.
So it's really accurate,
predictive, simple as well.
And what we do is we do the scoring
and then we get accountability around it.
Okay, what are the lowest scoring things?

(01:46:46):
Let's start with those
because we need to up those scores
to five, six, seven and eight, right?
Something like that, you
know, go up, up, up, up.
Because now what we're
doing, we're limiting,
we're diminishing your vulnerabilities.
That's where you're gonna,
this is your Achilles heel.
We need to fix that now.
We start with that.

(01:47:06):
So it's really cool.
And then also there is also a scenario
where if somebody is like super low
across half of them,
I tell them, you know
what, I think you need to go,
this is not gonna fit
for you because it's like,
depending on your physical state,
you have to go to rehab

(01:47:27):
or go to the hospital.
And this isn't, what I do is not a
hospital, it's a gym.
If you're ready for
the gym, go for the gym.
If you're not ready for the
gym, go to rehab first, right?
Or go to the hospital
because you have like
these gaping wounds.
The gym's not gonna help you, you know?
So the radar does
provide this kind of insight

(01:47:48):
and we do measure it and
it's extremely predictive.
And also very simple at the same time.
That's a really
interesting way to put it.
So let's assume that,
well, let me check in.
Do you need a break at all?
No, I'm good.
All right, cool.
I'm still good too.
I'll let you know and feel

(01:48:09):
free to jump in if you do.
Sure, sure.
All right, so let's say
that people check the boxes
and they're at an
eight or a 10, you know,
and they're ready to go.
And, you know, they bring you on
and you start working together.

(01:48:30):
How do you, I imagine part of what you do
is probably has something to do with
productivity, right?
How to be highly productive, highly
effective, you know,
in your day-to-day
life, in your business,
you know, all that kind of stuff.
How do you, in this
world of like hustle culture
and information overload,

(01:48:50):
how do you actually
define true productivity
and how do you push
somebody towards it in, you know,
the environment that we're facing here?
Well, I think it's, I would say focus
is probably the better word for me.
Because once you, if you

(01:49:11):
know where you're aiming,
it's gonna automatically
realign how you spend your time,
your energy, your
creativity, your money even.
So focus is probably a better word
and it sort of takes care of the
productivity piece, right?
Most people I know, I
think most people in general

(01:49:31):
tend to have these
diffused efforts, right?
So they're just scattered.
They're distracted, they're not focused.
When you say that, you
just mean like a bunch
of different stuff that
they're thinking about
or working towards.
And some of it is just
objectively how it works, right?
If you are in your early

(01:49:52):
20s, that's why, you know,
when people go into the
corporate world in the early 20s,
they make you literally a slave
because you have zero distractions
and all you do is bring
coffee and hustle, right?
And you can hardly sleep
and you can go partying
and then hit it again in the morning.
But also you have less layers of stuff
that are demanding your attention.
So by the time that's what

(01:50:13):
happens with most professionals,
they go from sort of the seasons of life
or you're a student first,
then you're a practitioner.
So you're in your 20s,
you're a practitioner.
You're learning how to do stuff.
You're probably failing a lot.
You're underpaid and stuff like that.
You're developing some skills.
Once you're developing skills,
you hit the next season
of life, which is mastery.

(01:50:33):
And the most painful parts of life,
and that's why people that come to me
are usually in between seasons.
Or in between because
you can be in one season,
you know that well, but
you wanna hit the next one
and you don't know how to go about that.
So when you hit mastery, what happens is
you have more, you're better compensated.
You have more responsibilities.

(01:50:54):
You probably are getting a girlfriend,
a wife or a husband,
you get a kid or two,
you get a mortgage, you get whatever,
an assistant or two or a department.
Now you're getting very
quickly diluted attention,
very, very quickly.

(01:51:14):
And the world will pile it on you, right?
And it's not a conspiracy,
it's just the nature of things.
So your wife or your husband will demand
some sort of attention
and investment from you,
your kids as well, your
mortgage, your financial statement
goes, "I'm making more money,
"but I feel like I
have less than before."
You know, that kind of thing, right?
You have more
responsibilities and people want you

(01:51:34):
to be in more meetings
and sit on more committees
and all of those things, right?
So what happens is that
mastery gets super diluted
and you don't have a focal point anymore.
And that's when you hit
a plateau or hit a wall.
That's what it is.
So, and I see people
that are extraordinary,

(01:51:56):
like unbelievable, it's
humbling to be in their presence
that are in that place, you know?
And that's when you start seeing burnout
and stuff like that and all
kinds of other side effects
of that lack of focus.
Once you understand, you know what?
This is what I want.
These are my values, this is my edge,

(01:52:16):
this is why I'm here.
And this is what I want to do.
It sort of reorganizes your priorities.
And it is painful, right?
Because you have to make
some painful choices, et cetera.
But your expertise starts shining only
when you're focused.
And once you find that, so that's why,
like the second thing we,
the first thing we talk,

(01:52:37):
we work on is called the fuel, which is,
well, you and I discussed already,
it's sort of the
emotional state, creativity,
how to get there, et cetera, et cetera.
And the second is called the edge.
And it's, okay, what's your edge?
Expertise, backstory,
origin story, passion,
all of that together,
what's the focal point here?
And it's, sometimes it's hard to find it

(01:52:58):
because we're so
trained to become the person
people expect us to become.
Yeah. Right?
People want, or a
company, or peers, or parents,
and we're a combination.
So we end up sort of
living somebody else's dream,
not our own.
So we sort of need to zero in on,
okay, who are you supposed to be?
Who do you want to be?
What are your values?

(01:53:19):
Let's find your edge,
not somebody else's.
And once you have that focal point,
then you have to start to make some
incredible decisions
when it comes to change of lifestyle,
what to say no to.
And it's beautiful and
painful at the same time
because you go, you're excited.
You go, okay, this is it,
this is it, feels right.
But then you have to say
no to A, B, and C, and D

(01:53:40):
that is expected from you.
Yeah. You know?
But you have to make
courageous decisions.
And once you make those corrections,
then your talent is
focused, it's like a laser beam.
That sounds so
appealing. That's not a change of
methods. Huh?
That sounds so appealing.
That's a-- Yeah, yeah.
Being laser focused,
because I think it's,

(01:54:01):
in the world today, I
think that's becoming
increasingly more difficult.
And a lot of what you're saying here
is resonating with me personally,
moving through the different seasons
and trying to find this
focal point and stuff like that.
I'm curious, is there
a point of no return?
Is there some, are some

(01:54:24):
people, let me put it like this,
are some people at risk of
being so far down the path
of living for somebody
else's definition of success
that they can no longer
find their focus or their edge
or however you describe it.
And yeah, let's start there.

(01:54:46):
What do you think about that?
Unless maybe there's
some severe mental illness
or addiction that is
just extraordinarily hard
to turn around, I don't think so.
Okay, here's what I mean.
Let me expand on it a little bit.

(01:55:06):
So like, let's say that
somebody's moving through
these seasons of their life.
And I'll use myself as an example.
I'll put myself out
there for the audience.
So, I lived a couple of lives too.
And most of my audience knows this,
but in my early 20s, I
was a stuntman in LA,
doing that and in the film industry.

(01:55:27):
And then I had a realization, I woke up
and then I got into the
equipment repair business
of all things, right?
So, and I was in the stunt business,
that's all I knew my whole life, right?
My mom was a stunt
woman, my dad was a stuntman,
my grandfather.
And so like, this was my life.
And that's what I
thought I was supposed to do.

(01:55:48):
So that was my first season, right?
And then the next season was difficult
because I got into an
industry I knew nothing about,
which was repairing restaurant equipment,
ovens, fryers,
stoves, that kind of thing.
When I got into Windy City equipment.
And then through that, I had to learn

(01:56:09):
how to be a mechanic.
And then I flipped and I had
to learn how to be a leader,
right, as CEO of that company now
and leading a team of 60 people.
It's like my next season in my 30s
was trying to become a leader, right?
To build this business.

(01:56:30):
And now I'm at a point
where I'm ready, I think,
I'm between seasons, right?
I love the business that I've built
and I'm gonna continue to do that.
But it's almost like I've
delegated the task portion
of what I do.
And now my focus point
is culture and mission

(01:56:50):
and vision and coaching
and offer for my team.
But then there's also
these other callings,
still in a similar industry, right?
But getting into other investments
or sitting on certain boards or,
so this is that delusion that you're
talking about, right?
Like the, so like,
how do you know which

(01:57:11):
path is the right path?
Like, how do you know
you're on the right path?
I guess is a better question.
Well, I think season
is number one, right?
Because these are the broad buckets.
And if you realize your
season you're going into,
then that's a huge win already.
Because what you're
entering from the sounds of it,
you're leaving, you're
transitioning out of the mastery

(01:57:32):
season into the sage season, you know?
And the sage season, it's,
and my point is it's really cool
because it's from the inside out.
Like you can't escape the seasons.
Just like you can't change fall from,
you know, you can't delay fall.
The fall will come, right?
Or spring or whatever.
It's your, even your taste, your desire

(01:57:53):
to do certain things either fades or
increases in season.
So when you build
something like you've built,
which sounds like it's
an extraordinary company,
you eventually you go,
I've hustled and worked and
built for a decade or two.
And somehow, like it feels different now.
I've enjoyed it so much,

(01:58:14):
but I want to create a legacy now.
It just feels different.
That's the thing that
starts going up your value chain,
right? Yeah.
And I think that's the
cool thing is that it's,
once you, you have to be
self-aware, first of all.
And I think when people,
what happens between seasons
is that people sort of overreact
and don't know how to
understand that transition.

(01:58:36):
So for example, if
you're leaving, you know,
if you're, you have,
you've built something
significant in your mastery,
that's sort of the midlife crisis thing
that can go way wrong
because what you're trying to,
what people do when
they did it, you know,
get a Ferrari, start
dating your secretary
and that kind of thing.
It's they're trying to sort of relive.

(01:58:57):
They're afraid of aging.
They're afraid of the next season.
And they're trying to
sort of artificially appear
to be in a different season.
Sure, okay.
And that always goes south, right?
That's never a good idea.
Yeah, of course.
But if you go, no, this is
natural, this is beautiful.
I can create legacy.
Then you start, what do

(01:59:19):
you do as somebody like a CEO
of a company with a big team is you
delegate your automate,
you empower people and you
embrace your season, right?
How does that look like exactly?
What does that look like?
And then there's all
kinds of obviously ways
to do the same thing, but
the direction and the step
is massively

(01:59:39):
important when you embrace it
and don't fight it and you lean into it.
And it opens up all kinds of joy
and because you are now
where you belong, right?
So I'm in the same season you are, right?
So, and I've, you know,
started different companies
and some of them did well,
some of them didn't nonprofits,
you know, that done a few things

(02:00:00):
that I'm really, really
proud of, but this right here,
like what I'm doing now
with you, when I'm on a call,
when I'm on a cohort with the people
that are extraordinary people,
that I'm helping them
to build a personal plan,
it's like time stops.
You know, it's, you know, you belong.
You know, you can, you
know, you're at the peak

(02:00:21):
of your capabilities and
you're blessing somebody
with what you do.
And it's amazing.
I can see it in your face.
Yeah, like, you know, you
can kind of see it in people,
I think, because I've
been told the same thing.
Like if I go off and I talk about
something in particular,
that people's, I've heard people say,
"Wait, like you just lit up."

(02:00:43):
Like, and I don't
know what that, you know,
what that means, but like,
that's kind of what I'm seeing
from you just in this brief moment
that you're talking about, you know,
this next season of life, you know?
So would you say that's an indicator?
Like that's something that, okay.
But the thing is, once
you have a focal point,
you go, "Okay, I'm in a sage season.
This is what it probably looks like."

(02:01:04):
What do I have to say no to?
That is perhaps
expected of me in this season.
For example, does it light you up
to sit on several boards?
Yes or no?
Does it light, do you have to invest
in this commercial real estate thing
that will probably make
you an extra million or two?
Well, maybe you don't need
to do extra million or two

(02:01:25):
because it comes with a
headache of this kind.
Yeah, like that sort of
question, and those are nuances.
How does your family fit into this?
You know, you might
be used to sort of this
incredibly high structure
building sort of season,
but now your kids are

(02:01:45):
grown and you have grandkids.
How much do you spend time with them?
Like now that you're an empty nester,
are you still grinding
or does your spouse go,
"Dude, what happened?"
So there's all these other
dimensionals of the season
that are so important.
Like right now, I'm

(02:02:06):
spending literally two months
in Mexico, a month in Playa del Carmen,
a month in Puerto Vallarta.
And a big reason for that
is not just for the sort of
pleasure and joy and relaxation,
it's because my wife is taking a break.
She's taking a sabbatical.
She's doing three months.
And I have the privilege
and the joy to accompany her.

(02:02:27):
And I can do some of my work here,
like I'm doing now in this
sort of mobile podcast thing,
but I have the privilege
and the joy and the desire
to be there for her in her season.
And that's a priority, right?
That's interesting.
So I wanna try to keep track here.
We've got the student,

(02:02:48):
practitioner, mastery, sage.
The master and the sage, yeah.
Are those all the
seasons or are there more?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
I think the cool thing
about seasons is that,
A, you can't really not have them.
Yeah, right.
The good news is that the sage piece,
if you embrace it well,

(02:03:11):
you can ride that
wave well into your 90s.
Wow.
It's gonna keep you alive longer
and you're gonna be at
peak capability still.
Have you ever heard about
the second curve by chance?
Arthur's-- No, I don't think so.
Okay, so Arthur's, he
actually took it from somebody else,

(02:03:32):
but he's the one I learned it from.
He has this book called
"From Strength to Strength."
And it was a really,
really impactful book for me
because it talks about
the second wave, right?
And it doesn't talk about the seasons,
the way I talk about
it, but it's really more,
the first wave is
sort of the rise of the,

(02:03:54):
it's called fluid intelligence, right?
So fluid intelligence starts, you know,
when you sort of become
a practitioner, right?
You're young, you can hustle,
you can maneuver your
nuance, you can create,
you can pivot, right?
So most of athletic achievements,
even business

(02:04:14):
achievements, math, science,
you'll see that the
people peak in their sort of
mid-20s to mid-30s.
That's sort of the
fluid intelligence wave.
And then it starts declining.
So there's less of those achievements.
So that's why you get
people in midlife crisis
because like, I used to be
this and now I'm not this.

(02:04:35):
And what do I do?
Get a Ferrari, right, whatever.
And obviously I'm stereotyping here,
but you know what I mean, right?
There's options, versions of that.
But what he says is that as
this first wave is declining,
a second wave is rising, which is
crystallized intelligence,
which is pattern
recognition is basically wisdom.

(02:04:57):
You see things that you couldn't,
a 35 year old can't possibly
see how this connects to this
and what does it mean about
the sort of the big picture
of the world.
So you become, that really coincides
with the rise of the Sage season, right?
So, and the cool thing
is that if you don't,
if you want to still ride

(02:05:20):
the wave of the first wave,
the first curve, instead of sailing,
you're gonna be rowing quite a bit.
Like it really is gonna be hard.
It feels like rowing, it
doesn't feel second nature.
It's not, but if you
switch to the second curve,
it feels like surfing
because this is the season

(02:05:41):
where you can do this, right?
So you and I are
experiencing this together.
Like to me, this is so much joy.
It's so easy and it's so exciting.
And then you're responding to me,
which means it's probably
landing as truth, right?
That's the second wave, right?
And the cool thing is
that you only get better

(02:06:01):
and better and better if you switch
to the second curve.
I'm mixing up terminology, I think.
Yeah, that's okay.
Arthur Seabrook says second curve.
I like the wave because I like the
surfing idea, right?
Yeah, I gotta stop you right there.
I wanna tell you this
because maybe it speaks
to how much this resonates with me.
I have post-it notes above my office,

(02:06:23):
in my office, not in the studio here.
But, and each one is a
reminder of something,
like a way for me to
think or a way for me to live.
And one of them is actually,
one of them actually says learn to surf.
Yes, that's right.
And it's not actually physically surfing,
it's exactly what you
said in the context of,
look for the wave and

(02:06:43):
ride it as far as you can,
as long as you can,
don't resist it, use it.
Yeah, that's great.
I think you're
absolutely right about that.
And I think that's where you are.
You are in this in between seasons part
and you've built something
significant and wonderful.
And I think maybe the sage season is,
okay, how do I delegate?
How do I empower?
How do I train so that

(02:07:04):
I can create a legacy?
And I was switching to
the second curve of wisdom,
it's crystallized intelligence.
It's recognizing patterns
and it's a powerful curve.
Like there's nothing,
it's so inspiring, right?
Once you understand what it is.
So, and you can have
so much joy and freedom,

(02:07:25):
especially if you did the first one well,
and you built
something that can sustain you,
then you maybe don't have to
think about money that much,
right?
And you can create a legacy.
So it's really amazing.
And so a lot of the
people that I work with
are in between seasons
and sort of getting

(02:07:46):
those sort of concepts down
and internalizing
them really, really helps
in what to do next.
And it can accelerate
basically your success
in a way that will
save you years actually
of false, failed attempts.
How, so I imagine just briefly,

(02:08:06):
I imagine that the
seasons of life can come
at basically any age, right?
It all kind of depends on what you've
done, where you're at.
There's no real rhyme or
reason, 20s, 30s, 40s, 90s.
To that, in that respect,
how long can somebody
remain between seasons?

(02:08:28):
I think forever, that's the problem.
You know, like you can-- Oh, wow.
So that's one of the risks, right?
Is getting stuck between--
Yeah, exactly.
It's that the quiet desperation piece
is probably an indicator
of you not really
being self-aware enough,
maybe trying to stay in a season
where you don't wanna be anymore.
And you sort of shrink,

(02:08:50):
you sort of stay in survival mode, right?
And you're just rowing.
You know, you're not serving.
And I think most people, unfortunately,
most people hit those and
they stay in those places
for a while, sometimes
for years or decades even.
But as I said before,

(02:09:10):
I think the life is full of
second and 50 chances, right?
So even if you don't
switch exactly the best way
at exactly the same time,
there's always a time where you can go,
you know what, I'm done.
I'm done rowing.
I wanna surf.
And what do I need to do, right?

(02:09:31):
Who do I need to learn from?
What kind of circle do I need to join?
How do I change my environment so I can,
and people do that all the time.
I think people turn their,
people are incredibly resilient.
They turn their lives around at any age.
And I think we can
change in ways that are,

(02:09:52):
and science actually
backs it up that, you know,
they used to say that
neuroplasticity sort of fades
and it doesn't.
You literally can change your brain
structure at any age
and it's extraordinary.
I think that's important
for people to know, right?
Because we're always, you
know, for the longest time,
we're all taught this assumption,
like it falls into that

(02:10:13):
category of you can't teach
an old dog new tricks, right?
You know, and this
kind of been ingrained,
you know, in a lot of us.
And so that's really an important point
that I hope the
audience is paying attention
because it's absolutely true, right?
And I think that this goes right in line
with what you're saying,
but the older that you get,

(02:10:34):
you know, the more
kind of ingrained you are
in your beliefs.
So if something needs to change,
the risk factor is higher, right?
So you need to think
differently in order to,
you know, get that to happen,
but it's still more than possible.
Yeah.
And you know, going full
circle back when I said,
look, I help Americans be more American.

(02:10:56):
I think part of that
fear is losing status,
losing respect, losing the
things that we work so hard
to acquire.
And it's the fear of that.
It's like, there's so much more at stake.
I'm not gonna take risks.
This is too late for me to take risks.
And I think that's the biggest lie.

(02:11:17):
It's just not true.
That actually leads me
to a question that I had,
topic that I had here.
I had something to the effect of,
because I know you wrote
a little bit about this,
but what do Americans
sometimes miss about the gift
that they've been
given here in this country?

(02:11:38):
So I wrote a book called
"Little Book of Big Reasons
to Love America."
And it's basically
this sort of 10 chapters
10 reasons to love America.
And it was born out of my
conversations with my wife Deb,
because I grew up in those places,
a lot of oppression, a
lot of lack of opportunity,
all those things.
And I've always been sort of from afar,
I was like, this is this
other place called America,
and their culture is different,

(02:11:59):
their way they think is different.
And it actually really helped me,
like the reason for my success,
my first professional
success as a musician,
was because I thought as an American,
not as a Russian or a
Chilean as a musician.
And I'm telling you, that's why, right?
So when eventually we

(02:12:19):
moved to the States,
which was like 20, 21 years ago,
I had all these, I was now
immersed in American culture.
I would visit obviously,
because my wife is American.
And I would tell Deb, this is so amazing,
this is so cool, and
I'll be such a fan, right?
And she goes, look, you're
not really good insights.
And I think eventually what happened is,
there was so much America bashing,

(02:12:40):
almost like this in the popular culture,
in this sort of national conversation,
there was so much, I
think it's healthy to question
or even criticize your government and
your country for sure.
It's super.
I think it went way beyond criticizing.
I think it went into
almost like the self loathing.

(02:13:00):
And I think that's just,
that becomes really unhealthy.
Like if you think of a
person, not a country,
if you have a healthy level
of humility and self criticism,
I think that's healthy.
When you're somebody who
is completely self loathing,
that person's not
gonna be a healthy person,
not attract opportunities.
Sort of same thing at the national level.
So I would say those things to Deb,

(02:13:21):
I was like, this is great, this is great.
And then when the self
loathing on the national level
started, she was like, you
don't have to write this book.
I think people need an
injection of optimism.
So I did, so it was a quick read.
And it's basically 10
Reasons to Love America.
And there's all kinds
of, there's illustrations
from a personal archive,
there's QR codes for videos.
And so it's sort of

(02:13:42):
interactive sort of creative project
that has nothing to do with my
professional career at all.
But I felt like it was, I was like,
I don't know, I thank you.
And actually the subtitle is,
A Love Letter from an Immigrant.
A thank you to a place that
had enormous influence on me
way beyond, way before I moved here.

(02:14:04):
But I'm saying all
these things to say this.
It's sort of like
Americans growing up in America.
And if you feel like
there's so much negativity
around being American,
it's almost like growing in a
dysfunctional family

(02:14:26):
where everybody's dysfunctional,
everybody has low self-esteem.
You're probably gonna have low
self-esteem as well.
And what you need to do is
you need to get new friends.
You need to get out.
And you need to find
people with high self-esteem
and you'll get more self-esteem.
So I think that's sort of the effect,
I think that I hope
the book has is to say,

(02:14:47):
look guys, you know what,
you need to get out more.
You need to see the things that are great
and appreciate them, be
grateful, take advantage of them.
There's a quote by Benjamin Franklin
that I'm gonna butcher a little bit,
but it's basically around
the sort of the general gist
of it is anyone who gives up liberty for a little safety

(02:15:10):
is not, doesn't deserve
neither liberty or safety,
something like that, right?
And the idea on the, from
the Franklin's, I think,
perspective was that he
was sort of this oppressive

(02:15:30):
foreign country.
And if you wanna be
protected by the crown
and you wanna give up your freedom,
you're not deserving of evil. You're not deserving of evil. And you wanna give up your freedom,
you're not deserving of
either of those things, right?
But I think in the
modern American context,
it translates really
well in the sense of,
you have this, you are creator by design.

(02:15:52):
You have dreams, you have this,
you have this incredible story, expertise
and all of those things.
You have ideas, you have
aspirations, you have passion.
And you can give up
so easily that liberty,
that freedom of that,
of expression of that
in exchange for paycheck.
Yeah.
Because there's too much more,

(02:16:13):
there's too much more at stake.
You have a mortgage,
you probably are
living beyond your means.
You're accustomed to
your status, to the respect.
And you don't wanna give that up, you
don't wanna risk it.
So you are exchanging
liberty for certainty, perhaps.
And I feel like that's an
un-American thing to do.
So, does that make sense?
I don't know if it translates.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

(02:16:35):
And that's great.
And again, that's called the "Little Book
of Big Reasons to Love America."
We'll link it in the show notes as well.
But I wanted to make
sure I asked you about that
because I think that's a
really important perspective.
And I really like kind
of how you frame that
as comparing the country to a person.
I think that really helps.
I gotta say, like throughout this episode

(02:16:56):
and talking to you, I love your metaphors
because they help me understand.
And so I know that
that helps the audience,
excuse me, resonate with that.
So, but I really liked
the way that you put it.
It's almost like this self-loathing type
type of behavior that's going on
because we are a collection of people

(02:17:17):
in this country and in this society.
I kind of put that through the filter
of like the drama triangle.
You familiar with the drama triangle?
No, tell me about it.
The victim.
So there's the victim, the
persecutor and the rescuer.
And so this was an old concept,
but a great book is The Power of Ted.
That kind of, it stands

(02:17:37):
for the empowerment dynamic
because you have this
drama triangle that,
victim needs a perpetrator,
perpetrator needs a victim,
a rescuer tries to save a victim
but is at risk of becoming a perpetrator
if taken incorrectly.
And so there's this like circle.
Oh, interesting.
Right?
And it's almost a trap, right?

(02:17:59):
And you can see it in
almost every movie that you watch
or whatever, you've got the perpetrator,
you've got the victim
and you've got the rescuer.
And the only way out
is to flip that dynamic
to the opposite, which is
opposite of victim is creator.
Opposite of perpetrator is,
what was the opposite of perpetrator?
It was...

(02:18:22):
Was it the protector perhaps
or something like that, defender?
Something like that.
I don't remember, but the opposite
of the rescuer is coach.
Oh, challenger, it's challenger.
Challenger.
It was the opposite.
Yeah, got it.
All right, so when you flip that
and you come out and this is,
I imagine kind of a
version of you being a coach
through this, you know,

(02:18:43):
you kind of probably
see this dynamic a lot,
where instead of saying to somebody,
you suck for doing this,
it's challenging them to say,
hey, why do you think you're doing this?
Or what's a better way?
What are you gonna do next?
So anyway, that's a
really long way of saying
that I kind of put
that through that filter.

(02:19:04):
And I'm wondering how much
of this self loathing part
of America is due to victim mentality?
Not the circle all the way
back to victim mentality.
Just it was a thought that I had.
I think the victim mentality,
I think the victim
mentality is almost like a,

(02:19:26):
a comfortable cop out person.
Because you make choices, right?
Make choices.
You can be, you know,
you graduate from
college with a finance degree,
you enter the, let's
say the financial industry
is notoriously like slave
owner type people, right?

(02:19:46):
They highly paid slaves they have,
like I have a few friends
who are in that space, right?
And they just work you to death for like,
you pay your dues, quote unquote.
And then you start
getting real money and seeing,
you know, that kind of thing.
Row in the boat, right?
You're rowing like, they make you row.
And the other people are
just sort of sitting there
at the front of the boat going,
row harder, dude, you know?

(02:20:07):
Yeah, right.
And that's sort of the deal.
And then the thing is,
because you are around
people who are in that,
almost like very restrictive,
the value of just cash and
status are so over the top,
the value of everything is so low,

(02:20:27):
that it normalizes greed,
it normalizes dysfunction,
it normalizes excess, show,
that kind of thing, right?
So you can be in an
environment that enhances something
and underscores
something really important
that it's not there.
And then, okay, that's
fine, I understand that.
But then at some point you
need to look around and go,

(02:20:48):
is this the value, are these
the values that I wanna have?
Is it the person, the
kind of person I wanna be?
And the answer is no, and
then you do something about it.
Or most people will say, no,
but I really like the money.
And okay, I'm on my
second wife, that's fine.

(02:21:08):
Maybe I'll get a third one.
But I like the money too much.
Or, you know, honestly,
the first wife is asking
half of everything that I have,
so now I have to work harder.
So it's like this self-repetuating thing,
but you can always say no, make a choice,
and the road out of it
can be super painful,
but you're on it.

(02:21:30):
Or you can sort of accept
the status quo and be a victim
and go, well, you know, I have this,
I'm paying two mortgages now,
I'm paying alimony, I have a second wife,
I also have a girlfriend, now
I have this private jet thing
that I feel like it's
necessary to maintain my status.
And then you rationalize
it and you're a victim.

(02:21:52):
And I think most people
fall into that category
where yeah, you can be a victim.
You don't have to stay a
victim, that's a choice.
Yeah, yeah.
Now I appreciate you
kind of shedding some light
on that for me, it was just, you know,
as I'm hearing you
talk, there's so much going
through my head, you know, and it's like,
I could probably sit here

(02:22:13):
and talk to you for four hours,
we could go Joe Rogan on this whole show,
but I won't do that to you.
But I wanted to bring this up,
I was kind of rifling
through my papers over here,
you probably might have seen me,
but we were talking before about seasons
and kind of going
through life and finding focus.
And I did this exercise,

(02:22:34):
and you probably can't see it very well,
but it's a business plan for life, right?
So I've created like guiding pillars,
for what I'm thinking is my next stage,
and I won't run through the whole thing,
but I've got like, my guiding pillars,
the lens that I put everything through
are freedom, presence,
impact, and love, right?
And do they fall into

(02:22:54):
one of those pillars,
every decision that I make, you know,
I've got my vision statements,
I've got, you know, kind
of refined core values,
even as far as went to
make like personal KPIs,
like, you know, by this time in my life,
I want to take this many
vacations with my family,
spend this much time
with my kids, my business,
you know, I want my
business to be doing this.
What are your thoughts

(02:23:15):
about creating, you know,
something like that?
Do you think that that's beneficial?
Do you think it's at risk of, you know,
creating tunnel vision
and maybe missing something
more important?
What are your thoughts around that?
I think so, yeah, I
think it's very valuable.
I believe there's a study,
I'm gonna butcher the
numbers a little bit,
but the principle is true.

(02:23:35):
I think they did a study
with a bunch of MBA graduates,
I believe from Harvard,
and they basically said,
are you gonna write your goals down?
And something along the lines of,
I have the numbers,
precise numbers somewhere,
but something along the
lines of the 5% of people,

(02:23:56):
5% of people actually wrote
down their goals in detail.
In decade, those 5% of
people made more money
than the 90% or the 95 that didn't.
Oh, wow.
It's something in that level of vicinity,
it could be a 10 and
nine, something like that,
but it's that level of dramatic,
dramatic difference of outcomes.

(02:24:16):
And I don't really believe necessarily,
at least for me,
because everybody's really,
we're wired so differently,
that I would put, let's say, a number,
like a financial number
or something like that,
on as a goal for me.
But some sort of
structured vision for the future,
I think it's really important.
If you write it down, you

(02:24:37):
will pay attention to it.
Whatever gets measured,
gets paid attention to.
Yeah, sure.
So to some degree or another,
and I think people are wired differently,
so it might look different,
but for example, for the third month,
we do sort of an introductory three
months in exponential,
and for the third
month's, almost like project,

(02:25:00):
I asked people to write a vision story.
And the difference between
vision story and a vision board
is that we end up,
we really do end up living
the stories we tell ourselves.
So it's not really, I wanna
achieve this or reach that,
but it's, this is who I am,
and this is my story,

(02:25:23):
but into the future.
So it's a little bit of a nuance
on the goal setting kind of, you know.
I really love that.
And the reason for that
is because we really truly
live into the story we tell ourselves.
And the story is, a lot of the times,
and most of the time
is an erroneous, flawed,

(02:25:45):
underwhelming story,
and we just live into it
because we keep
telling ourselves the story.
So after you do a lot of internal work
and a lot of input and all those things,
you now have a
different story for the future.
And you write it down, and
it could be all kinds of way,
creative way to do it
that is very individual.

(02:26:05):
And then what I say
is, look, write it down,
say it out loud, say it to your spouse,
say it to the cohort, say
it to me, read it, get input.
And it sort of has a life of its own,
almost like as a living document.
And some people are very broad strokes
and values sort of
centered, like what you have, right?

(02:26:26):
Values.
Some people are much more specific.
And I remember like one
guy who was an engineer,
his name's Gabe, and he
was like this top engineer
that he worked for the
biggest chain of hospitals,
I think in Hawaii at the
time, when he first entered,
and he was actually
looking for the next opportunity.
And he is an engineer, right?

(02:26:46):
So he is
hyper-specific in his vision story.
And I have this text
still from him where he says,
a year after he sends
me this text and he goes,
Christian, you
remember that vision story?
I go, yeah, it was very specific.
And it was like, this
is my next salary level
and other things like that.
And then at the end of it, he goes,

(02:27:08):
within a year, I want this kind of house.
And he was like, specific.
There's many rooms, square footage,
two-hot garage, you know, whatever.
It was like very detailed.
And he goes, I knew
already that he got that salary
literally to the
thousand, within three months.
Amazing.
And then about, I think
it was like nine months

(02:27:28):
and he sends me the text.
He goes, you remember my vision story?
I'm like, yeah, I'm
like, here's the picture.
I just closed on that house.
Get out of here.
Man, that's crazy.
That's awesome.
And I think it's
really individual, right?
To how you process these things.
I'm more like you, I'm more in the value
sort of focal points rather than numbers.

(02:27:51):
But I think to answer your
question long-winded way,
I guess, is that I think it does help
to get a vision story,
some goals, some value,
something that you write down,
something that it's not just a statement,
like almost like on a hype, on a high,
on an emotional high
after a nice morning routine
or something, but it's
really more of a living statement.
So you can check in with it,

(02:28:11):
maybe even include some people
that are closest to you
into that vision statement,
into that vision story so that they can
keep you accountable.
And hey, you know, I
thought you wanted to do this
and you're not doing it.
What's up with that?
That kind of thing.
Oh, I like that.
And I really liked the distinction
between the vision story
and the vision board kind of idea there.

(02:28:32):
That really resonates,
being able to tell a story.
I mean, I don't
remember what the statistic is,
but I know that stories resonate with us.
We remember stories a whole lot better
than we remember facts.
So I have to believe that
kind of making that nuanced shift
from board to story,
you're creating a framework

(02:28:52):
where you can internalize whatever it is
that you're saying a whole lot easier.
That's really cool.
All right, so I know we're rounding close
to the top of the hour here.
It's got a couple more questions for you.
Okay.
I wanna know why you do what you do.
You're clearly passionate about it.
I know that and that's the easy answer.

(02:29:13):
But like, why is it
that you do what you do
with the people that you do it for?
So I have a great love
and I think more importantly,
I think I have a great
compassion for high achievers
because it's almost like
there's a breed of people
who can't help
themselves, but to aim high.

(02:29:35):
And they have this
inordinate level of passion,
drive and work ethic.
It's almost like they're strange.
It's a breed.
You feel like you can't help yourself.
Sometimes it's painful actually, right?
A lot of times it's painful actually.
So I have a
particular love and compassion
for people like that

(02:29:55):
because that's who I am.
And to illustrate why I do
this is I was 26 years old
and I was selling millions of albums.
I was playing sports arenas.
I was like this extraordinary success
on paper on the outside as

(02:30:16):
a result of who I am, right?
It's talent, work
ethic, a lot of rejection,
a lot of risk.
And then you're
living this life and most,
so this is both Soviet,
15 different countries,
that whole space.
Yeah.
Everything from the Baltic
States all the way to Russia

(02:30:37):
and the stands and
Georgia, all those 15 countries.
Talking all over the place.
And you're living the
dream and you worked so hard
and people are
singing every word of a song
that you wrote in your kitchen.
It's just surreal, it's crazy.
And at the same time, you have
these gaps in your character.

(02:30:57):
And for me, it was romance.
I come from three
generations of broken homes.
And I didn't have like the framework.
All the circles that I have,
I didn't have anyone in my
life who was happy and married
and have sort of this
generational legacy with kids.

(02:31:17):
And I desperately wanted that.
And what prompted that, as always,
as I said in the
beginning, sometimes it's proactive,
sometimes it's reactive.
For me, it was reactive.
And I think when most
people it's reactive.
When the pain gets too bad,
that's when we pay attention.
So for me, I was dating,
I would sabotage
every relationship I had.
And then this one
young lady who was dating,

(02:31:39):
who was of course a runway model,
because I'm supposed
to date runway models.
I'm like, I'm walking cliche.
We have a baby together.
And I am horrible to her and she leaves
and she cuts me off.
So I lose contact with my daughter,
Diana, my oldest daughter.
And I am devastated,
just clinically depressed.
So on paper, high success

(02:31:59):
in real life, rock bottom.
And I met this guy who
was a Canadian missionary.
His name is Andy Fleming.
And he had what I did
and I literally met him.
And he has this sort of
spirituality and wisdom about him.
And he has this beautiful family.

(02:32:21):
And I was around him and I
literally am not exaggerating.
I was having dinner at his
house and I saw his family
and I turned to him in
this sort of profound moment
of almost like an enlightenment.
I go, how do I get what you have?
And I think most people
in the space that I was in
would ask that of me.
How do I get this fame

(02:32:42):
and glory and fortune?
And I was asking that of
him because he had something
that I didn't know how to get to.
And he turned to me and
he says, I'll teach you
if you will listen.
And I said, I'll do anything.
And that's like the wisest
thing I've ever done, right?
And he coached me.

(02:33:04):
He was my first coach.
And he didn't care.
He was intimidated by me.
He spoke truth into my life.
And he loved me enough
to be patient with me.
And as a result of his impact on my life,
I've been married for 26 years.
It's amazing.

(02:33:25):
My daughters love me, respect me.
That's why I do what I do.
That's an incredible answer.
I really appreciate the transparency
and sharing that with me.
That's clearly impactful for you.
And I think it's a
testament to the power of humility
and being at that point where you know

(02:33:47):
you have to make a change.
So that's incredible.
Last question and then I
promise I'll let you go, okay?
Yeah.
So in the spirit of the
subtitle of this podcast, right?
The truth about leadership business
and becoming who you're meant to be.
What is a truth that took
you years to fully understand,
but changed everything once you did.

(02:34:09):
And maybe it wraps into
what you had just said, but.
Honestly, I think it's
that the fullness of who,
of the gifts that I've been giving,
including the trauma that I've survived
is the very thing that the world needs.
And that's something that
I've learned at different levels,

(02:34:30):
you know, over and over again.
So almost like every two, three years
I have a new layer of that where I go,
oh my gosh, I can't
believe I didn't see that.
And now I can offer
it to people around me.
I think that's probably the one thing
is that the fullness of
you is what the world needs
and which seemed to sort of ignore it
and dismiss it and underplay it.

(02:34:52):
And we should really
lean into it because we,
it's again, full circle.
Yeah, I think it's a responsibility.
Amazing.
Well, thank you so much for that.
Christian, where can people find you
if they wanna learn more?
They can go to, well, okay, let's do,
let's divide the audiences into groups.

(02:35:13):
One is people who like
really need, want the help.
If you're that person,
go to exponential.life
spelled without the E.
So it starts with an X exponential life.
That's my coaching program.
It's really good assessment there about
how ready you are to
build a personal brand.
You ask you a few questions
and you get a report in your inbox.
So highly recommend taking that.

(02:35:35):
And then if you're just
sort of generally going,
I really like the
vibe, I like the insights,
I want just some more content
that will help me stay on track.
Go to christianraeflores.com.
That's my XC newsletter.
It basically drops twice a week.
And I put a lot of effort into those.
And we have, I think, 12,000 plus
subscribers right now.
And if you subscribe, you

(02:35:55):
can subscribe on a free level.
You can subscribe under $9 a month,
like a full latte cost
will get you some more access
and some more goodies and VIP treatments.
So those are the two
places probably to find me
that is best.
Awesome.
Well, I truly appreciate your time today.
I know my audience will as well,
as soon as this episode gets released,

(02:36:17):
pen and paper in hand, I'm sure.
I will definitely put
that in the show notes
and I'll link all those
things that you said as well
in the show notes when we put this out.
But Christian, thank you so much
for spending your
valuable time with us today, man.
Josh, thank you for the questions
and also the
authenticity and just the person,
even what I've learned
about you doing this,

(02:36:37):
it's extraordinary, so thank you.
Awesome.
Well, until next time.
All right, let's see here.
Don't hang up right away
after I hit stop, all right?
Okay.

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