June 7, 2025 • 32 mins
TD Flenaugh discusses five skills to help children avoid summer learning burnout while gaining a competitive advantage. First, she emphasizes teaching children to tie their shoes, using scaffolding techniques. Second, she suggests baking or cooking to develop life skills like measurement and sequencing. Third, she advises on organizing, starting with small tasks like packing a lunch box. Fourth, she recommends building concentration through non-digital activities like jigsaw puzzles and chess. Lastly, she highlights the importance of caring for living things, such as pets or plants, to foster responsibility and natural consequences. These skills aim to build independence and critical thinking.
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Episode Transcript
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TD Flenaugh (00:03):
Are you worried that you might burn your child
out on book learning over thesummertime? Do you want to make
sure that you're still givingthem a competitive advantage?
Well, listen to this podcastepisode, because we're going to
get into five skills that youcould work on with your child
over the summer that's going tohelp give them a competitive
advantage and making surethey're having fun and not
(00:23):
burning them out on schoollearning over the summer. Hi.
Thank you so much for joiningthe Falling for Learning
Podcast. We have this podcast tohelp parents and caregivers with
having the resources, strategiesand tools needed to make sure
that their children are on trackfor learning and to stay on
track for success, I decided togo live today, because I am out
(00:48):
and about. If you can't tell,I'm sure you can. I am
currently, let me make anadjustment. Oops, I don't know.
Anyway, I'm trying to make anadjustment. I am out, and I'm in
Northern California, and had avery, very busy week, some
(01:09):
illness and things going on. Soas a result, I am going live
today, making sure that I do myepisode 102, of the Falling for
Learning Podcast, I was feelinga certain way because the
lighting isn't what it shouldbe, um, but my husband was like,
(01:31):
What are you so worried about?
You know, like during thepandemic, people were like,
looking crazy online and blah,blah, blah. So just do your
podcast, get your informationout there, you know. So he has
such a weird way of giving meencouragement, but I appreciate
it. And so here we are doing thepodcast. The lighting is wonky,
hopefully the sound iseverything that it should be.
(01:51):
But I'm glad that you've joinedme today so that we could talk
about ways to keep your childlearning Okay, without, you
know, just burning them out. Andyour child may be burned out.
They may be doing summer schoolalready. You may already have
activities, but something thatlike five main things that I see
that children really need tohelp continue their growth and
(02:12):
their development, then becomingindependent. So I'm going to
start with a number, uh, with uhwith one thing, number one thing
is going to be and they're notreally ranked, but this is the
one that I really haven'tnoticed glaringly, that kids
don't know how to tie theirshoes. Tying shoes? Maybe you
(02:34):
haven't paid attention, I don'tknow, but check, Does your child
know how to tie their shoes? Ifthey don't, this is a perfect
opportunity. And I am talkingabout third graders, fourth
graders, kids that will we feellike, oh, you should already
know that. Don't know how to tietheir shoes. I don't know if
(02:54):
we're really busy. Parents,grandparents, aunts, uncles,
nieces, older cousins, please.
If your child, your loved one,does not know how to tie their
shoes, help them with this. AndI am saying Help I see a lot of
people just tying the shoes nowthat we're in the summer months.
(03:17):
Give yourself a break. Give themtime. Let them know we're going
to learn how to tie their shoesand scaffold them into this
process. Now, scaffolding meansthat you do give help. It does
not mean that you do it all forthem, but you help them. You
know, think about an A ramp. Youknow, maybe you're helping them
(03:37):
with the first part and youknow, you're, you know, the ramp
all already gives you thatincline up, but they're taking
those steps up themselves. Sowhat can you do to help them?
You could maybe give them aYouTube video that shows how to
tie shoes. You could, you know,make sure you break it down into
specific steps for them. Sowhatever you need to do help
(03:58):
your child, your loved one learnhow to tie shoes. Teachers out
there who are listening, thinkabout a strategy for helping
incorporate that into yourclassroom, learning, especially
like when my daughter was a kid,she had been her first grade her
kindergarten teacher had it upthere as a skill that they were
learning, along with knowing thecolors as long as well as
(04:21):
learning like the numbers. So itwas different skills that they
were learning, that you weregiving them a little treat for
learning, right? You werehelping them to work on that
goal. And maybe they have fivesteps, and then you give them,
like, two steps, three steps,and you know, they could do the
first step on their own. Andthen you're helping them from
(04:41):
then on, kind of figure out whatyou're going to do to help them.
And I do mean help them. Thatmeans you might be taking 15
minutes or whatever to help themthrough the process, and not
say, I don't have time for this.
I'm just going to tie it up foryou. So make sure you're like,
finding that time. To actuallyhelp them through this process.
Now, tying shoes isn't justtying shoes. I know some people
(05:04):
think, okay, that's not a bigdeal. I'm just going to get them
Velcro, whatever. I'm just goingto tie their shoes. I don't know
why the teacher won't just helpthem. A lot of people don't
understand the context ofteaching when there are 20 other
kids and your kid needs to tietheir shoes. But guess what?
Seven other kids need to tietheir shoes as well. So instead
of teaching reading or teachingwriting or math, we're tying
(05:27):
shoe after shoe after shoe aftershoe. So it's a no can do. So I
really want to tell you, I justask students to tuck those shoes
strings inside the shoes, andlet's keep going, I cannot tie
seven shoes in a 30 minute timeperiod that I have with students
to work on their reading and mycontacts in my job and then
(05:49):
other teachers right tyingshoes. It just doesn't make any
sense. So this is something athome that we really need to
develop for our kids. And itagain when I say it's not just
shoe tying, it develops theirfine motor skills and helps them
get build confidence in othertasks tie like riding a bike or
(06:11):
skateboarding or skiing ordifferent things like that,
later On, something simple astying their shoes and not giving
up and learning how to do thattask is going to get them to
that level where they're able todo harder things that take more
fine motor skill development andhelp them blossom into someone
(06:33):
who believes that they can do itright. Because half of this
battle is kids believing thatthey can do it. If I am always
getting someone else to tie myshoes, no one's helping me to do
it. I'm not learning how to doit. I'm going to believe I can't
do it. And so that's going tohold me back. If someone's like
skateboarding, like, oh,skateboarding, I'm not able to
do that, right? I came and learnhow to tie my shoes. How would I
(06:56):
be skateboarding? Right? Sodon't think about shoe tying as
just shoe tying. It is a level,entry level skill that develops
them their confidence and theirfine motor skills so they could
do other things. Okay? So it'snot just one thing. It leads to
other things. So give them thetime to learn that. And again,
as they are growing, they'regoing to find many different
(07:20):
tasks that are hard to do.
They're challenging to do. Andif you are helping them, giving
them the time, giving the 15minutes, and helping them with
it, helping them do step one andstep two, maybe they can do Step
Three by themselves, and helpbuild them up, talk to them
about what they did well. And soevery time they're getting
(07:41):
closer and closer to tying theirshoes on their own, talk to them
about this skill and how youcould help them find out where
they're getting stuck and thenhelp move them forward. Okay, so
it is really important thatyou're modeling it for them. Tie
your shoes for them, show them,have them model what you're
(08:02):
doing, mirror what you're doingas you're tying your shoes,
avoid just being impatient andjust tying their shoes every
time. That is a way of givingthem the disadvantage. And this
show is all about how to giveyour children the competitive
advantage. So let's talk aboutthe next skill that's going to
help your child get acompetitive advantage this
summer, right? And it's not justtied to book learning. So the
(08:26):
next thing is baking or cookingas a life skill right?
Now, baking involves so muchmeasurement reading, and I've
talked about this again beforeon my show, but I really want to
talk about, you know, if you'vealready bake something simple,
like cookies, maybe you willgraduate them to to baking
something even more challenging,or cooking something that's more
(08:49):
challenging again. Cooking is askill that is going to help them
become more independent. Isgoing to help them with their
reading, their writing, theirmeasurements, following
directions, sequencing, all ofthose things are skills that are
going to help them really tackleother challenges they have to do
in their life. So you want tokeep this going where you are
(09:11):
helping them make challenges,set forth challenges and goals
and go forward with them andactually achieve them. Maybe
they were just baking a fiveingredient cookie, and then now
they're doing something with 10or 15 ingredients, I don't know
you kind of think about whereyour child is and help them to
build on that. If you havemultiple kids, maybe different
(09:32):
kids are making differentthings. Maybe together, they're
making a whole meal for thefamily. So think about the level
of complexity that they havealready achieved in baking or
cooking, and think about takingthem to the next step. This is
going to help them build so manydifferent skills simultaneously,
and as they get older, that iswhat they're asked to do in
school. They need to take apassage. They need to read it.
(09:54):
They need to be able to writeabout it. They need to be able
to comprehend it. They need tobe able to talk about. About it.
And so when you are giving thema complicated task of, you know,
baking or cooking something andgetting progressively more
challenging, and what they areapproaching and cooking or
baking, you are preparing themfor school, right in a
(10:16):
roundabout way, again, at theheart of everything that I'm
telling you is about buildingconfidence. It's about building
self efficacy, because the morethey do and challenge themselves
to do, that will again,translate to other things. Oh,
I've done some hard thingsbefore. Maybe I didn't get it
this time, but I'm going to getit next time. I'm going to keep
(10:37):
working on this. And a lot ofour students who don't have that
type of skill, right? They giveup, oh, this is so hard. And
then they just stop there, andthey don't do better, and they
don't do more, and that's achallenge, that's a problem,
right? But you are building inself confidence and self
efficacy the more you help themwork towards these goals. And
(10:57):
some of you I know out there,are very, very busy parents,
please make sure you talk toyour village. And village can be
you know, mom, dad, brother,sister, aunt, uncle, cousin,
neighbor, I don't know, just youknow. Think about who are those
trusted people in your life thatcan help to take on some of
(11:18):
these challenges and take thetime to help them tie their shoe
or bake or to be cookingsomething because other people
could do it just doesn't have tobe you. And again, them taking
on these challenges is going tohelp them, not in just this one
area, but transfer to so manyother skills, academic and non
academic. And again, all thedifferent tasks that you have
(11:41):
your child doing could somehowlead to them finding their
passion, that spark, that helpsthem to love, learning and help
them lead to their destiny andtheir passion in life. So again,
the more that you can exposethem and help teach them and
guide them, the more you'releading them into a fulfilling
life. Okay, let's get to numberthree. Okay, organizing. I'm
(12:11):
laughing about the organizingbecause I know so many of us as
parents have stepped in and donethe organizing. We have cleaned
that room, we have put thatbackpack together. We are the
ones who organize. And thenthinking about even some parents
I talk to, they have just, theyhave like, it's not a growth
(12:33):
mindset, right? It's a fixedmindset. Their child is
disorganized. They've alreadylabeled their child. He's not
organized. He's not gonna beable to do that. He doesn't do
that. He's not gonna be able toget his own clothes together.
They are not able to do that.
I'm having to do that myself. Ihave to do it. So again, this is
not true. This is something thatwe tell ourselves. And yes, they
(12:55):
might be a hot mess. I'm notsaying they're not, but what I'm
saying is that you can teachthem, or someone can be in your
village, in your realm of peoplethat help and support you to
help your child actually learnhow to organize. And it can
start very, very small. Itdoesn't have to be clean up this
(13:17):
room, right? Because if they'rea hot mess, cleaning up this
room, as I know you probablyalready tried, does not work. It
is too much. It's overwhelmingis not going to get done. But if
it's something small, like abackpack, it could even be a
lunch box and another task tohelp them? Is it something
(13:41):
that's not attached to them?
Some people who are verydisorganized can help with
someone else organizing becauseit's not their stuff and they're
not having it to make personalor emotional decisions about
things they could objectivelysee this is not useful. Let us
(14:01):
put this in the trash. Let'sgive this away. Let us put this
here on the top shelf or thebottom shelf. You'll be
surprised how helpful somedisorganized people can be, or
personally disorganized, but canhelp someone else organize their
things. Again, this is a lifeskill helping them to gain
(14:23):
independence in their lives asthey're you know, later on in
lives, when they're puttingtogether a locker or putting
together a dorm room or puttingtogether an apartment or even a
whole house, that skill, again,is going to be something that
they're going to be able to holdon to and help them to become,
(14:43):
you know, independent, selfsufficient, competent and what
they know what to do. Right?
Just the concept of organizingeverything, having its own
place, is so amazing for peopleto understand. Right? Uh, wait,
so everything having its ownplace is going to help us to be
organized. We're not just comingin and putting things anywhere
(15:06):
because we don't know where itgoes. But now we know this is
where the coats go. This iswhere my backpack goes at the
end of the day. This is where myshoes go, right? And sometimes,
that, you know, sometimes thosereally simple ideas are lost on
kids, right when you're justtelling them to put something
(15:27):
somewhere, instead of havingthem make a decision about where
do these things go? So now thatwe have assigned a home for
everything, let's put them inthat place. Very simple for some
people to understand, but kindof revolutionary for people who
are disorganized or kids who arenot getting the concept of what
organization is. Again, startsmall, scaffolding is again
(15:49):
helping them through theprocess. You're doing part of it
with them or for them, part notall, and helping slowly work
yourself out of a job that isthe rewrite method and the
rewrite method workbook are yourgo to resource for helping kids
to learn to fall in Love withwriting. It has the tips, tools,
(16:17):
resources, strategies and skillbuilding activities to help kids
fall out of writing Hoot andinto loving to write. Get your
book set today. YouTD, the point of the filing for
(16:45):
learning podcast to help us getour kids on track for learning
and to stay on track forsuccess. And success means
independence. They're able to dothings on their own. Okay? So we
need to think about how we coulddo that academically. We're also
thinking about how we could doit, and just like different
skills, right? These are skillsthat maybe are not tested on our
state test, but when it comes toliving your life in a fulfilling
(17:09):
and organized and in controlway, their skills that are
essential that they need tohave. Okay? So this is what it's
about. So far, we have talkedabout three things. We've talked
about tying shoes or other finemotor skills tasks. We've talked
about baking or cooking. Andwhat about we talked about
(17:31):
organizing everything, havingits place and helping start
small and build to more complextasks. Now we're going to talk
about building concentrationwith non digital tasks and
activities. Okay, so how can webuild concentration? Now, again,
I always want to think, I'malways thinking about how to
incorporate fun into learning,because, again, when we talk
(17:53):
about falling for learning orfalling in love with learning,
is that element of fun that wesee when kids are in love with
video games or playing soccer orsomething like that, those
things are hard tasks, but it'sa lot of fun for them, and so
something that kids can have funwith are types of games and
activities such as buildingjigsaw puzzles them that helps
(18:17):
them to concentrate on a task,get it done to the end, you
know, do some thinking, some,you know, some element um,
elimination, right? So they arehave all these different types
of puzzle pieces. Which ones arefor the edges, which ones are
more to the middle? Which one gowith these particular part of
(18:40):
the picture, right? When you'relooking at the picture and say,
Okay, these are a lot of pinkthings. This is probably this
object here. We're going togather these together. So so
many thinking skills. And youknow, you could again work with
them to do this. I highlysuggest working with them. You
know, it's a bonding experienceas well the baking and cooking,
(19:01):
of course, bonding as well asnow we're thinking about
concentration, focusing on atask and getting it done right,
and not using digital becausethis is really something that
disadvantages our kids. Our kidsare used to a lot of them, and
I'm generalizing here, you know,scrolling, looking at social
(19:24):
media, looking at YouTube, andwhen they get into class and the
teacher is talking, and maybeteachers talk a lot, I don't
know, everyone's experience alittle different, but it's just
like, it's so not entertainingbased on, like, this algorithm,
these, this, you know,entertainment thing that they're
(19:46):
going for on social media andall of those things, them
focusing on non digital taskswill help. Again, go directly
to. Then being able toconcentrate on the teacher
saying and completing tasks thatare not built on that algorithm
that is sucking them in, right?
(20:10):
So building jigsaw puzzles isone way playing chess. And I'm
also going to provide the linkfor an episode where we talked
about chess playing. We had anexpert who teaches kids how to
play chess. It could be, youknow, dominoes, like a lot of
(20:30):
games that you can play, aregoing to help them to have some
problem solving skills,strategies, a lot of things that
they're learning, you know,thinking skills, critical
thinking coordination, right,all kinds of things like even
just predicting, counting,right? You know, so card games.
(20:54):
There's different games thatthey could play that is going to
help them to be criticalthinkers. And a lot of learning
has to do with criticalthinking, a lot of it, and it's
a lot of times we forget aboutthat because we think about
like, oh, the memorization, ordifferent things like that. And
(21:14):
then we'll leave out thosecritical thinking skills that
are so important and making surethat kids can make decisions and
be creative and to build and toactually focus in on what the
task is, what it's asking themto do, and to get it done. And
again, as they get older, I justwant to really highlight that
(21:37):
they need to be independent. Andsome of us, I know as parents,
we're not ready to give up allof that independence to the
kids, but the truth is, themore, the older they get, the
more independent they'rerequiring them to be there.
Every every level requires sometype of independence, even if
it's just like eating your foodby yourself when you're in
preschool. So every, every time,every year, they're asking more
(22:02):
and more of your child and andthis is another way that you
could monitor how well yourchild is adjusting. Right? Are
they able to make criticaldecisions? Are they able to, you
know, follow the rules of agame? Are they able to do these
different things that are likesoft skills that are not like
set concrete skills, but skillsthat are really going to help
(22:25):
move them along towards success.
All right, so let's get intonumber five, caring for living
things. So when I first wasthinking about this, I was
thinking about, you know, justtaking care of plants. But, you
know, I always want you to thinkabout what we're talking about
(22:46):
on this show and then adapt itfor you, right? So it's not a,
you know, cookie cutter type ofsolution as you're helping to
develop your child or yourstudents, or whoever you're
working with, right? It's aboutadapting what you do to meet the
needs of the child, thedevelopmental stage, the age,
(23:09):
the interest, right? And so thisis why I say cared for living
things. So this could fall underpet right, pets, and it can fall
under actual plants, growingthings again, growing things and
taking care of things helps tobuild responsibility. Are they
(23:30):
going to water that garden everyday? Are they going to get the
weeds out right making sure thatthey could do it. And here's
another built in kind ofwonderful part of caring for
living things is naturalconsequences. I know as parents
(23:51):
and caregivers and educators,sometimes it's hard to think
about what's the rightconsequence for a child when
they're not doing what they'resupposed to do. And here some of
that is taken away from us,because the consequences are
natural. If they're not takingthat dog out for a walk, the dog
is going to be pooping andpeeing everywhere. And then
(24:14):
naturally they have, you know,again, if you're sticking to
your guns. They're cleaning upthat poop. MP, please try not to
make this where this is extraresponsibility for you in the
long run, but helping them.
Again, I'm going to keep sayingthe word scaffolding, giving
them step by step, little bit ofhelp, and having them do the
(24:37):
rest, showing them how to do it,having them do the rest. Okay,
thinking about okay, how can wedo better next time, right? You
didn't get all the poop up, youdidn't get all the urine up. But
how can we do better next time?
Okay, this time, I got glovesfor you. I got this for you, so
you could do it better nexttime, you could be less grossed
out. But really, the key is thatyou're going to take the dog out
(24:57):
at eight. PM, like, you know,having a set time or by a
certain time they need to getthings done so that they are
meeting those goals. They're inthe habit. They're getting in
the habit of fulfillingresponsibilities. If I'm not
watering my plant, if I'm notdoing what I'm supposed to do,
(25:18):
weeding, getting the weeds outand everything. Of course, the
plants will die. And so thosenatural consequences are the
best, the best solutions tohelping kids to learn
responsibility. And I do want totell you that we're in a a a
time, a moment in time wherekids facing responsibilities at
(25:42):
schools and stuff like that, isit's hard, right? They don't
always allow teachers or ordifferent people in control now
to give consequences and andthat's fine, it. I'm not going
to debate that issue, but what Iam going to say is when we can
have kids having naturalconsequences that is going to
(26:03):
give them an advantage, becausethose natural consequences are
going to be life lessons thatthey carry with them, and that
they're going to be able to tomature from, they're going to be
able to reflect on, and they'regoing to be able to grow from
that. So maybe your kid wants apet. The summertime may be a
(26:26):
perfect time to allow them toget that pet help them care for
that pet, not you doingeverything for them, but helping
them care for it, slowly workingyourself out of the
responsibility for caring forthe animal,
helping them to care for aplant, right? And maybe, and I
(26:48):
really want to emphasize, it isgreat to grow flowers. They're
very beautiful, right? But it'salso very rewarding to have kids
grow food. So is it going to besome carrots or some potatoes.
Is it going to be greens, kale,you know? What is it that you
could have kids grow that lateron, they could harvest and eat.
(27:11):
They could add it to a salad.
They could, you know, cook itup, fry it up. Whatever they're
going to do, however they'regoing to prepare it, and again,
they're eating, you know, like,it's like farm farm. It's like
soil to table, right? Garden totable food, right? So that is
something a lot of kids, andyou'd be surprised. We talked
(27:33):
about this before on thepodcast, for kids don't even
know where things come from, ifthey have not seeing you cutting
up potatoes and making fries.
There are kids out there whodidn't know that. You know fries
had once been potatoes, right?
They if they don't ever see thatprocess, they're just getting
McDonald's fries or fries fromsome type of fast food, and they
(27:55):
don't see anyone ever preparingit from a potato, then how would
they know that they just may notknow, and a lot of things we
didn't know, our kids didn'tknow, because we're just so busy
in our lives. So summer, most ofall, is a time to kind of slow
down. If they're slowing downwith you, your your life may not
(28:16):
have slowed down because youstill may be working or
whatever, but it is a time thatsomeone can maybe help to take
on one of those tasks, to helpthem get that competitive
advantage for them to keepmaturing and moving forward in
their development. There is thesummer slide I also want to
bring up where kids are learningnew skills all year. At the end
(28:39):
of the year, they're learningnew skills, and a lot of times
it's not committed to their longterm memory. So when they don't
do any reading, they don't doany writing, no math, over the
summer, they have forgottenthose skills that they learned
in school, and so they start theschool year behind where they
were. And so that is a travesty.
(29:02):
So what we're doing, instead ofbuilding on what they already
know, we're starting behind. Youknow the starting line, right?
They're starting behind. We havegiven them a disadvantage by not
continuing their learningjourneys over the summer, and
now we have to reteach thatstuff. And then finally, a month
into the school year or so,we're teaching them new
(29:24):
information, right because nowthey're reviewing things that
they didn't know before. Soplease don't give your child
that the disadvantage give thema competitive advantage again,
things like working on tyingshoes will lead to them riding a
bike one day, skateboarding,snowboarding, all of those
(29:47):
skills, baking or cooking againis going to lead to them being
more independent, as well asworking on their measurement
skills, working on their readingskills. Skills and sequencing,
following directions,comprehension, so many things
that they get from thatorganization. Skills, of course,
(30:09):
kind of goes without saying whenthey're understanding that
organization comes fromassigning a home to everything
that they have, it's going tohelp them to be able to find the
things that they need, help themto feel more confident, for them
to be moving around the world ina more easy way. And we know
when kids are disorganized, itreally frustrates them. They
(30:30):
could have done some work. Andthen when it's time to turn it
in the teacher, into theteacher, they don't know where
it is. They don't know wherethey they left it at home,
whatever it is, so they don'tget credit for the things that
they actually did. Instead, theyare not getting credit because
they don't know where it is.
They don't know how to find it.
They left it somewhere. Andinstead of living a fulfilled,
(30:51):
happy life, they're builtfeeling frustrated and not even
getting credit for the work thatthey've actually done, and
building concentration with nondigital task teaching them to
play games again, games andthings like that, are going to
help them to bond with others,as well as to learn critical
thinking skills, right, whichare so important as they're
(31:13):
moving on in their lives, in andlearning and growing. And of
course, not just criticalthinking skills for for book
smart information, but justmaking decisions about what they
should do, who they shouldlisten to, what's the best
choice for them. Going forwardand then caring for living
(31:35):
things is really an ultimate wayfor kids to have natural
consequences if they're notfollowing those responsibilities
and helping them to reflect andto do better and to, you know,
make it a part of their dailyhabit to fulfill
responsibilities and show up anddo the things that they said
they were going to do. Thanksagain for joining me on falling
(31:56):
for learning podcast. I am TDFlenaugh, and today I want to
make sure that you remember todo something today that gives
your child the competitiveadvantage. Thanks again for
supporting the falling forlearning podcast, new episodes
go live every Saturday at 5pmyou can watch us on youtube.com
(32:19):
at falling for learning orlisten on all major podcast
platforms such as Apple, Google,Audible, Spotify and much more
for more resources, visitfalling in love with
learning.com. We reallyappreciate you. Have a wonderful
week.
Are you worried that you might burn your child
out on book learning over thesummertime? Do you want to make
sure that you're still givingthem a competitive advantage?
Well, listen to this podcastepisode, because we're going to
get into five skills that youcould work on with your child
over the summer that's going tohelp give them a competitive
advantage and making surethey're having fun and not
(00:23):
burning them out on schoollearning over the summer. Hi.
Thank you so much for joiningthe Falling for Learning
Podcast. We have this podcast tohelp parents and caregivers with
having the resources, strategiesand tools needed to make sure
that their children are on trackfor learning and to stay on
track for success, I decided togo live today, because I am out
(00:48):
and about. If you can't tell,I'm sure you can. I am
currently, let me make anadjustment. Oops, I don't know.
Anyway, I'm trying to make anadjustment. I am out, and I'm in
Northern California, and had avery, very busy week, some
(01:09):
illness and things going on. Soas a result, I am going live
today, making sure that I do myepisode 102, of the Falling for
Learning Podcast, I was feelinga certain way because the
lighting isn't what it shouldbe, um, but my husband was like,
(01:31):
What are you so worried about?
You know, like during thepandemic, people were like,
looking crazy online and blah,blah, blah. So just do your
podcast, get your informationout there, you know. So he has
such a weird way of giving meencouragement, but I appreciate
it. And so here we are doing thepodcast. The lighting is wonky,
hopefully the sound iseverything that it should be.
(01:51):
But I'm glad that you've joinedme today so that we could talk
about ways to keep your childlearning Okay, without, you
know, just burning them out. Andyour child may be burned out.
They may be doing summer schoolalready. You may already have
activities, but something thatlike five main things that I see
that children really need tohelp continue their growth and
(02:12):
their development, then becomingindependent. So I'm going to
start with a number, uh, with uhwith one thing, number one thing
is going to be and they're notreally ranked, but this is the
one that I really haven'tnoticed glaringly, that kids
don't know how to tie theirshoes. Tying shoes? Maybe you
(02:34):
haven't paid attention, I don'tknow, but check, Does your child
know how to tie their shoes? Ifthey don't, this is a perfect
opportunity. And I am talkingabout third graders, fourth
graders, kids that will we feellike, oh, you should already
know that. Don't know how to tietheir shoes. I don't know if
(02:54):
we're really busy. Parents,grandparents, aunts, uncles,
nieces, older cousins, please.
If your child, your loved one,does not know how to tie their
shoes, help them with this. AndI am saying Help I see a lot of
people just tying the shoes nowthat we're in the summer months.
(03:17):
Give yourself a break. Give themtime. Let them know we're going
to learn how to tie their shoesand scaffold them into this
process. Now, scaffolding meansthat you do give help. It does
not mean that you do it all forthem, but you help them. You
know, think about an A ramp. Youknow, maybe you're helping them
(03:37):
with the first part and youknow, you're, you know, the ramp
all already gives you thatincline up, but they're taking
those steps up themselves. Sowhat can you do to help them?
You could maybe give them aYouTube video that shows how to
tie shoes. You could, you know,make sure you break it down into
specific steps for them. Sowhatever you need to do help
(03:58):
your child, your loved one learnhow to tie shoes. Teachers out
there who are listening, thinkabout a strategy for helping
incorporate that into yourclassroom, learning, especially
like when my daughter was a kid,she had been her first grade her
kindergarten teacher had it upthere as a skill that they were
learning, along with knowing thecolors as long as well as
(04:21):
learning like the numbers. So itwas different skills that they
were learning, that you weregiving them a little treat for
learning, right? You werehelping them to work on that
goal. And maybe they have fivesteps, and then you give them,
like, two steps, three steps,and you know, they could do the
first step on their own. Andthen you're helping them from
(04:41):
then on, kind of figure out whatyou're going to do to help them.
And I do mean help them. Thatmeans you might be taking 15
minutes or whatever to help themthrough the process, and not
say, I don't have time for this.
I'm just going to tie it up foryou. So make sure you're like,
finding that time. To actuallyhelp them through this process.
Now, tying shoes isn't justtying shoes. I know some people
(05:04):
think, okay, that's not a bigdeal. I'm just going to get them
Velcro, whatever. I'm just goingto tie their shoes. I don't know
why the teacher won't just helpthem. A lot of people don't
understand the context ofteaching when there are 20 other
kids and your kid needs to tietheir shoes. But guess what?
Seven other kids need to tietheir shoes as well. So instead
of teaching reading or teachingwriting or math, we're tying
(05:27):
shoe after shoe after shoe aftershoe. So it's a no can do. So I
really want to tell you, I justask students to tuck those shoes
strings inside the shoes, andlet's keep going, I cannot tie
seven shoes in a 30 minute timeperiod that I have with students
to work on their reading and mycontacts in my job and then
(05:49):
other teachers right tyingshoes. It just doesn't make any
sense. So this is something athome that we really need to
develop for our kids. And itagain when I say it's not just
shoe tying, it develops theirfine motor skills and helps them
get build confidence in othertasks tie like riding a bike or
(06:11):
skateboarding or skiing ordifferent things like that,
later On, something simple astying their shoes and not giving
up and learning how to do thattask is going to get them to
that level where they're able todo harder things that take more
fine motor skill development andhelp them blossom into someone
(06:33):
who believes that they can do itright. Because half of this
battle is kids believing thatthey can do it. If I am always
getting someone else to tie myshoes, no one's helping me to do
it. I'm not learning how to doit. I'm going to believe I can't
do it. And so that's going tohold me back. If someone's like
skateboarding, like, oh,skateboarding, I'm not able to
do that, right? I came and learnhow to tie my shoes. How would I
(06:56):
be skateboarding? Right? Sodon't think about shoe tying as
just shoe tying. It is a level,entry level skill that develops
them their confidence and theirfine motor skills so they could
do other things. Okay? So it'snot just one thing. It leads to
other things. So give them thetime to learn that. And again,
as they are growing, they'regoing to find many different
(07:20):
tasks that are hard to do.
They're challenging to do. Andif you are helping them, giving
them the time, giving the 15minutes, and helping them with
it, helping them do step one andstep two, maybe they can do Step
Three by themselves, and helpbuild them up, talk to them
about what they did well. And soevery time they're getting
(07:41):
closer and closer to tying theirshoes on their own, talk to them
about this skill and how youcould help them find out where
they're getting stuck and thenhelp move them forward. Okay, so
it is really important thatyou're modeling it for them. Tie
your shoes for them, show them,have them model what you're
(08:02):
doing, mirror what you're doingas you're tying your shoes,
avoid just being impatient andjust tying their shoes every
time. That is a way of givingthem the disadvantage. And this
show is all about how to giveyour children the competitive
advantage. So let's talk aboutthe next skill that's going to
help your child get acompetitive advantage this
summer, right? And it's not justtied to book learning. So the
(08:26):
next thing is baking or cookingas a life skill right?
Now, baking involves so muchmeasurement reading, and I've
talked about this again beforeon my show, but I really want to
talk about, you know, if you'vealready bake something simple,
like cookies, maybe you willgraduate them to to baking
something even more challenging,or cooking something that's more
(08:49):
challenging again. Cooking is askill that is going to help them
become more independent. Isgoing to help them with their
reading, their writing, theirmeasurements, following
directions, sequencing, all ofthose things are skills that are
going to help them really tackleother challenges they have to do
in their life. So you want tokeep this going where you are
(09:11):
helping them make challenges,set forth challenges and goals
and go forward with them andactually achieve them. Maybe
they were just baking a fiveingredient cookie, and then now
they're doing something with 10or 15 ingredients, I don't know
you kind of think about whereyour child is and help them to
build on that. If you havemultiple kids, maybe different
(09:32):
kids are making differentthings. Maybe together, they're
making a whole meal for thefamily. So think about the level
of complexity that they havealready achieved in baking or
cooking, and think about takingthem to the next step. This is
going to help them build so manydifferent skills simultaneously,
and as they get older, that iswhat they're asked to do in
school. They need to take apassage. They need to read it.
(09:54):
They need to be able to writeabout it. They need to be able
to comprehend it. They need tobe able to talk about. About it.
And so when you are giving thema complicated task of, you know,
baking or cooking something andgetting progressively more
challenging, and what they areapproaching and cooking or
baking, you are preparing themfor school, right in a
(10:16):
roundabout way, again, at theheart of everything that I'm
telling you is about buildingconfidence. It's about building
self efficacy, because the morethey do and challenge themselves
to do, that will again,translate to other things. Oh,
I've done some hard thingsbefore. Maybe I didn't get it
this time, but I'm going to getit next time. I'm going to keep
(10:37):
working on this. And a lot ofour students who don't have that
type of skill, right? They giveup, oh, this is so hard. And
then they just stop there, andthey don't do better, and they
don't do more, and that's achallenge, that's a problem,
right? But you are building inself confidence and self
efficacy the more you help themwork towards these goals. And
(10:57):
some of you I know out there,are very, very busy parents,
please make sure you talk toyour village. And village can be
you know, mom, dad, brother,sister, aunt, uncle, cousin,
neighbor, I don't know, just youknow. Think about who are those
trusted people in your life thatcan help to take on some of
(11:18):
these challenges and take thetime to help them tie their shoe
or bake or to be cookingsomething because other people
could do it just doesn't have tobe you. And again, them taking
on these challenges is going tohelp them, not in just this one
area, but transfer to so manyother skills, academic and non
academic. And again, all thedifferent tasks that you have
(11:41):
your child doing could somehowlead to them finding their
passion, that spark, that helpsthem to love, learning and help
them lead to their destiny andtheir passion in life. So again,
the more that you can exposethem and help teach them and
guide them, the more you'releading them into a fulfilling
life. Okay, let's get to numberthree. Okay, organizing. I'm
(12:11):
laughing about the organizingbecause I know so many of us as
parents have stepped in and donethe organizing. We have cleaned
that room, we have put thatbackpack together. We are the
ones who organize. And thenthinking about even some parents
I talk to, they have just, theyhave like, it's not a growth
(12:33):
mindset, right? It's a fixedmindset. Their child is
disorganized. They've alreadylabeled their child. He's not
organized. He's not gonna beable to do that. He doesn't do
that. He's not gonna be able toget his own clothes together.
They are not able to do that.
I'm having to do that myself. Ihave to do it. So again, this is
not true. This is something thatwe tell ourselves. And yes, they
(12:55):
might be a hot mess. I'm notsaying they're not, but what I'm
saying is that you can teachthem, or someone can be in your
village, in your realm of peoplethat help and support you to
help your child actually learnhow to organize. And it can
start very, very small. Itdoesn't have to be clean up this
(13:17):
room, right? Because if they'rea hot mess, cleaning up this
room, as I know you probablyalready tried, does not work. It
is too much. It's overwhelmingis not going to get done. But if
it's something small, like abackpack, it could even be a
lunch box and another task tohelp them? Is it something
(13:41):
that's not attached to them?
Some people who are verydisorganized can help with
someone else organizing becauseit's not their stuff and they're
not having it to make personalor emotional decisions about
things they could objectivelysee this is not useful. Let us
(14:01):
put this in the trash. Let'sgive this away. Let us put this
here on the top shelf or thebottom shelf. You'll be
surprised how helpful somedisorganized people can be, or
personally disorganized, but canhelp someone else organize their
things. Again, this is a lifeskill helping them to gain
(14:23):
independence in their lives asthey're you know, later on in
lives, when they're puttingtogether a locker or putting
together a dorm room or puttingtogether an apartment or even a
whole house, that skill, again,is going to be something that
they're going to be able to holdon to and help them to become,
(14:43):
you know, independent, selfsufficient, competent and what
they know what to do. Right?
Just the concept of organizingeverything, having its own
place, is so amazing for peopleto understand. Right? Uh, wait,
so everything having its ownplace is going to help us to be
organized. We're not just comingin and putting things anywhere
(15:06):
because we don't know where itgoes. But now we know this is
where the coats go. This iswhere my backpack goes at the
end of the day. This is where myshoes go, right? And sometimes,
that, you know, sometimes thosereally simple ideas are lost on
kids, right when you're justtelling them to put something
(15:27):
somewhere, instead of havingthem make a decision about where
do these things go? So now thatwe have assigned a home for
everything, let's put them inthat place. Very simple for some
people to understand, but kindof revolutionary for people who
are disorganized or kids who arenot getting the concept of what
organization is. Again, startsmall, scaffolding is again
(15:49):
helping them through theprocess. You're doing part of it
with them or for them, part notall, and helping slowly work
yourself out of a job that isthe rewrite method and the
rewrite method workbook are yourgo to resource for helping kids
to learn to fall in Love withwriting. It has the tips, tools,
(16:17):
resources, strategies and skillbuilding activities to help kids
fall out of writing Hoot andinto loving to write. Get your
book set today. YouTD, the point of the filing for
(16:45):
learning podcast to help us getour kids on track for learning
and to stay on track forsuccess. And success means
independence. They're able to dothings on their own. Okay? So we
need to think about how we coulddo that academically. We're also
thinking about how we could doit, and just like different
skills, right? These are skillsthat maybe are not tested on our
state test, but when it comes toliving your life in a fulfilling
(17:09):
and organized and in controlway, their skills that are
essential that they need tohave. Okay? So this is what it's
about. So far, we have talkedabout three things. We've talked
about tying shoes or other finemotor skills tasks. We've talked
about baking or cooking. Andwhat about we talked about
(17:31):
organizing everything, havingits place and helping start
small and build to more complextasks. Now we're going to talk
about building concentrationwith non digital tasks and
activities. Okay, so how can webuild concentration? Now, again,
I always want to think, I'malways thinking about how to
incorporate fun into learning,because, again, when we talk
(17:53):
about falling for learning orfalling in love with learning,
is that element of fun that wesee when kids are in love with
video games or playing soccer orsomething like that, those
things are hard tasks, but it'sa lot of fun for them, and so
something that kids can have funwith are types of games and
activities such as buildingjigsaw puzzles them that helps
(18:17):
them to concentrate on a task,get it done to the end, you
know, do some thinking, some,you know, some element um,
elimination, right? So they arehave all these different types
of puzzle pieces. Which ones arefor the edges, which ones are
more to the middle? Which one gowith these particular part of
(18:40):
the picture, right? When you'relooking at the picture and say,
Okay, these are a lot of pinkthings. This is probably this
object here. We're going togather these together. So so
many thinking skills. And youknow, you could again work with
them to do this. I highlysuggest working with them. You
know, it's a bonding experienceas well the baking and cooking,
(19:01):
of course, bonding as well asnow we're thinking about
concentration, focusing on atask and getting it done right,
and not using digital becausethis is really something that
disadvantages our kids. Our kidsare used to a lot of them, and
I'm generalizing here, you know,scrolling, looking at social
(19:24):
media, looking at YouTube, andwhen they get into class and the
teacher is talking, and maybeteachers talk a lot, I don't
know, everyone's experience alittle different, but it's just
like, it's so not entertainingbased on, like, this algorithm,
these, this, you know,entertainment thing that they're
(19:46):
going for on social media andall of those things, them
focusing on non digital taskswill help. Again, go directly
to. Then being able toconcentrate on the teacher
saying and completing tasks thatare not built on that algorithm
that is sucking them in, right?
(20:10):
So building jigsaw puzzles isone way playing chess. And I'm
also going to provide the linkfor an episode where we talked
about chess playing. We had anexpert who teaches kids how to
play chess. It could be, youknow, dominoes, like a lot of
(20:30):
games that you can play, aregoing to help them to have some
problem solving skills,strategies, a lot of things that
they're learning, you know,thinking skills, critical
thinking coordination, right,all kinds of things like even
just predicting, counting,right? You know, so card games.
(20:54):
There's different games thatthey could play that is going to
help them to be criticalthinkers. And a lot of learning
has to do with criticalthinking, a lot of it, and it's
a lot of times we forget aboutthat because we think about
like, oh, the memorization, ordifferent things like that. And
(21:14):
then we'll leave out thosecritical thinking skills that
are so important and making surethat kids can make decisions and
be creative and to build and toactually focus in on what the
task is, what it's asking themto do, and to get it done. And
again, as they get older, I justwant to really highlight that
(21:37):
they need to be independent. Andsome of us, I know as parents,
we're not ready to give up allof that independence to the
kids, but the truth is, themore, the older they get, the
more independent they'rerequiring them to be there.
Every every level requires sometype of independence, even if
it's just like eating your foodby yourself when you're in
preschool. So every, every time,every year, they're asking more
(22:02):
and more of your child and andthis is another way that you
could monitor how well yourchild is adjusting. Right? Are
they able to make criticaldecisions? Are they able to, you
know, follow the rules of agame? Are they able to do these
different things that are likesoft skills that are not like
set concrete skills, but skillsthat are really going to help
(22:25):
move them along towards success.
All right, so let's get intonumber five, caring for living
things. So when I first wasthinking about this, I was
thinking about, you know, justtaking care of plants. But, you
know, I always want you to thinkabout what we're talking about
(22:46):
on this show and then adapt itfor you, right? So it's not a,
you know, cookie cutter type ofsolution as you're helping to
develop your child or yourstudents, or whoever you're
working with, right? It's aboutadapting what you do to meet the
needs of the child, thedevelopmental stage, the age,
(23:09):
the interest, right? And so thisis why I say cared for living
things. So this could fall underpet right, pets, and it can fall
under actual plants, growingthings again, growing things and
taking care of things helps tobuild responsibility. Are they
(23:30):
going to water that garden everyday? Are they going to get the
weeds out right making sure thatthey could do it. And here's
another built in kind ofwonderful part of caring for
living things is naturalconsequences. I know as parents
(23:51):
and caregivers and educators,sometimes it's hard to think
about what's the rightconsequence for a child when
they're not doing what they'resupposed to do. And here some of
that is taken away from us,because the consequences are
natural. If they're not takingthat dog out for a walk, the dog
is going to be pooping andpeeing everywhere. And then
(24:14):
naturally they have, you know,again, if you're sticking to
your guns. They're cleaning upthat poop. MP, please try not to
make this where this is extraresponsibility for you in the
long run, but helping them.
Again, I'm going to keep sayingthe word scaffolding, giving
them step by step, little bit ofhelp, and having them do the
(24:37):
rest, showing them how to do it,having them do the rest. Okay,
thinking about okay, how can wedo better next time, right? You
didn't get all the poop up, youdidn't get all the urine up. But
how can we do better next time?
Okay, this time, I got glovesfor you. I got this for you, so
you could do it better nexttime, you could be less grossed
out. But really, the key is thatyou're going to take the dog out
(24:57):
at eight. PM, like, you know,having a set time or by a
certain time they need to getthings done so that they are
meeting those goals. They're inthe habit. They're getting in
the habit of fulfillingresponsibilities. If I'm not
watering my plant, if I'm notdoing what I'm supposed to do,
(25:18):
weeding, getting the weeds outand everything. Of course, the
plants will die. And so thosenatural consequences are the
best, the best solutions tohelping kids to learn
responsibility. And I do want totell you that we're in a a a
time, a moment in time wherekids facing responsibilities at
(25:42):
schools and stuff like that, isit's hard, right? They don't
always allow teachers or ordifferent people in control now
to give consequences and andthat's fine, it. I'm not going
to debate that issue, but what Iam going to say is when we can
have kids having naturalconsequences that is going to
(26:03):
give them an advantage, becausethose natural consequences are
going to be life lessons thatthey carry with them, and that
they're going to be able to tomature from, they're going to be
able to reflect on, and they'regoing to be able to grow from
that. So maybe your kid wants apet. The summertime may be a
(26:26):
perfect time to allow them toget that pet help them care for
that pet, not you doingeverything for them, but helping
them care for it, slowly workingyourself out of the
responsibility for caring forthe animal,
helping them to care for aplant, right? And maybe, and I
(26:48):
really want to emphasize, it isgreat to grow flowers. They're
very beautiful, right? But it'salso very rewarding to have kids
grow food. So is it going to besome carrots or some potatoes.
Is it going to be greens, kale,you know? What is it that you
could have kids grow that lateron, they could harvest and eat.
(27:11):
They could add it to a salad.
They could, you know, cook itup, fry it up. Whatever they're
going to do, however they'regoing to prepare it, and again,
they're eating, you know, like,it's like farm farm. It's like
soil to table, right? Garden totable food, right? So that is
something a lot of kids, andyou'd be surprised. We talked
(27:33):
about this before on thepodcast, for kids don't even
know where things come from, ifthey have not seeing you cutting
up potatoes and making fries.
There are kids out there whodidn't know that. You know fries
had once been potatoes, right?
They if they don't ever see thatprocess, they're just getting
McDonald's fries or fries fromsome type of fast food, and they
(27:55):
don't see anyone ever preparingit from a potato, then how would
they know that they just may notknow, and a lot of things we
didn't know, our kids didn'tknow, because we're just so busy
in our lives. So summer, most ofall, is a time to kind of slow
down. If they're slowing downwith you, your your life may not
(28:16):
have slowed down because youstill may be working or
whatever, but it is a time thatsomeone can maybe help to take
on one of those tasks, to helpthem get that competitive
advantage for them to keepmaturing and moving forward in
their development. There is thesummer slide I also want to
bring up where kids are learningnew skills all year. At the end
(28:39):
of the year, they're learningnew skills, and a lot of times
it's not committed to their longterm memory. So when they don't
do any reading, they don't doany writing, no math, over the
summer, they have forgottenthose skills that they learned
in school, and so they start theschool year behind where they
were. And so that is a travesty.
(29:02):
So what we're doing, instead ofbuilding on what they already
know, we're starting behind. Youknow the starting line, right?
They're starting behind. We havegiven them a disadvantage by not
continuing their learningjourneys over the summer, and
now we have to reteach thatstuff. And then finally, a month
into the school year or so,we're teaching them new
(29:24):
information, right because nowthey're reviewing things that
they didn't know before. Soplease don't give your child
that the disadvantage give thema competitive advantage again,
things like working on tyingshoes will lead to them riding a
bike one day, skateboarding,snowboarding, all of those
(29:47):
skills, baking or cooking againis going to lead to them being
more independent, as well asworking on their measurement
skills, working on their readingskills. Skills and sequencing,
following directions,comprehension, so many things
that they get from thatorganization. Skills, of course,
(30:09):
kind of goes without saying whenthey're understanding that
organization comes fromassigning a home to everything
that they have, it's going tohelp them to be able to find the
things that they need, help themto feel more confident, for them
to be moving around the world ina more easy way. And we know
when kids are disorganized, itreally frustrates them. They
(30:30):
could have done some work. Andthen when it's time to turn it
in the teacher, into theteacher, they don't know where
it is. They don't know wherethey they left it at home,
whatever it is, so they don'tget credit for the things that
they actually did. Instead, theyare not getting credit because
they don't know where it is.
They don't know how to find it.
They left it somewhere. Andinstead of living a fulfilled,
(30:51):
happy life, they're builtfeeling frustrated and not even
getting credit for the work thatthey've actually done, and
building concentration with nondigital task teaching them to
play games again, games andthings like that, are going to
help them to bond with others,as well as to learn critical
thinking skills, right, whichare so important as they're
(31:13):
moving on in their lives, in andlearning and growing. And of
course, not just criticalthinking skills for for book
smart information, but justmaking decisions about what they
should do, who they shouldlisten to, what's the best
choice for them. Going forwardand then caring for living
(31:35):
things is really an ultimate wayfor kids to have natural
consequences if they're notfollowing those responsibilities
and helping them to reflect andto do better and to, you know,
make it a part of their dailyhabit to fulfill
responsibilities and show up anddo the things that they said
they were going to do. Thanksagain for joining me on falling
(31:56):
for learning podcast. I am TDFlenaugh, and today I want to
make sure that you remember todo something today that gives
your child the competitiveadvantage. Thanks again for
supporting the falling forlearning podcast, new episodes
go live every Saturday at 5pmyou can watch us on youtube.com
(32:19):
at falling for learning orlisten on all major podcast
platforms such as Apple, Google,Audible, Spotify and much more
for more resources, visitfalling in love with
learning.com. We reallyappreciate you. Have a wonderful
week.
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