May 4, 2025 • 41 mins
I mean what a talent! Michelle can do it all, stand up comedy, singer, writer and actor!!
Michelle has been through a lot for such a young person. She shares her grief and loss in her shows. Michelle’s shows have been described as both heartbreaking and hilarious. Before she goes on stage with her partner they look at each other and say “shut the fuck up and have fun!”
In this chat we talk about her loss; from third degree brings to her dad passing away quite suddenly from pancreatic cancer. Then her brother passed and she found out that she has a 97% chance of developing cancer herself. She talks about the drive that comes from running out of time.
Michelle is non-stop, honest and generous with sharing so much of herself through her art, it was an honour to sit down with this special person.
You can follow Michelle on insta here: Michelle's insta
And you can find out more about her upcoming shows here:
https://www.michellebrasier.com/tour from Sydney writers festival to Edinburgh Fringe!
And here's her book: order here
Big love,
Lola
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Get a. I'm Lala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,
and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure
because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,
grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview
a different guest about their highs as well as they're lows,
(00:26):
all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail. Hello, gangles,
we have a very talented human. I don't know why
I want to whisper that bit, but we have a
very talented human on the pod today. Michelle Brazier, actor, comedian, author, singer, screenwriter,
(00:48):
and just announced in a new TV show called Ghosts.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
You'll hear me in this chat.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I asked for about it because I'm a big fan
of the American version of the.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Show, and I was like, oh my god, and congrats.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Go so were allowed to say anything, and she was like,
oh no, actually no we're not. But the great news
is it's since been released that news, so we are
going to keep it in the pod and we're allowed
to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So congrats Michelle. You absolute rip up.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
But the other cool thing that Michelle has let me
do is share what she's got going on. So she's
doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August. I keep wanting
to say film festival. So the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August,
and it's her new show. It's a shame we won't
be friends next year. She's got the Adelaide Cabaret Festival
(01:38):
in June and that's Average Bear with a string section.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
How cool.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
She's got the Sydney Riders Festie coming up. I reckon
that's happening any day now because we're in May. And
then she's got the Perth Comedy Festival. It's a shame
we won't be friends next year. She's also doing the
Hobart Festival of Voices Average Bear. She's also touring Every
Bear in Auckland in June.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Holy Mac and her book My.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Brother's Ashes Are in a Sandwich Bag is also available
as a book and as an audio book. It's all
in the show notes, so you can get your hands
on it and support Michelle. Just as a not even
a trigger warning, but just let you know. We talk
a bit about grief, or a lot about grief. Michelle
shares it so honestly, openly, and there's a sense of
(02:28):
clarity about the way she communicates, Michelle, You're absolutely flipping
wonderful and I can't wait to see one of your
amazing stand up shows and I can't wait to watch
you in Ghosts. Massive congrats mates, mates, mate, I'm recording
this quite late at night in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I've just been I've just side note my friends.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I've just been to one of Quentin Tarantino's movie theaters
here in LA. It's eleven forty one pm. But I
need to get this intro recorded so that at times
right for an Aussie Monday release tomorrow. So that's why
if I sound a little delia, that is why it
does not take away from the fact that Michelle, you
are absolutely unreal.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Loved having you in the Pot of Rooney.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Thank you for sharing so honestly and courageously. And to
you the listener, I hope you take something away from
this chat. I hope you support Michelle, whether it's you
grab a book, go see one of her shows. She's
a good egg, all right, enjoy pue Michelle Brazier, thanks
(03:33):
for coming on the pod.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Thank you for having me on the pod.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh my goodness, you, my friend, are awesome. Slashy.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Can I owe you that. Yes, yeah, you can call
me a slash.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
I got called a rack on teur by a review
in the UK, and I was like, first of all,
I had to google rac on tur.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, I think it means like a storyteller of like
many forms. But I had to I really I kind
of thought it was like like a Philander, Like I
thought it was like a man who sleeps a lot
of women.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I can't see how you'd get that.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Why, I can see them both?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, so you're an actor, comedian, author, singer, screenwriter.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Have I missed some stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Dog enthusiast? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Is it Eve even ether?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
My little girl too friendly to be a guide dog?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So now a guide dog ambassador? Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah. She's actually recently retired, so she's a free agent now,
which is nice if anyone wants her to advertise anything.
She's not working for guide dogs anymore. But yeah, she's
she's the best dog. She's pretty incredible.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Amazing. Now, you, my friend, feel like someone that does
not stop. And I love it. I'm here for it
as a creative as well. I think that sometimes we
can get a step back and let it kind of
like stop us moving forward out of fear of rejection
or failing. Like you're an actor and you know, like
(05:02):
acting world is like rejection. Oh he's a little bit
more rejection. Oh he's a little bit more Yeah, but
it just for you. You seem to be like someone that's
just like, well, I'm going to find a way to
keep creating. I'm going to do this. So take me
back to the VCA. Okay, so you were nineteen, right.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I was eighteen when I got in Where are you?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
I was just a baby and I was from Wogart,
went to the capital of Australia. So it was pretty
as a big culture shock to be honest, to move
to Melbourne.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
But right, it was cool. I was. I felt so honored,
you know. It was my dream. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
So many people audition and don't get in.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Exactly, and I thought I was going to do that
because I'd been told your audition for all the drama schools,
you do the rounds and then they say no until
you're like twenty three. But you just keep auditioning and
you get used to the rejection of the industry from
the auditions, and then you just sort of travel to
Europe and like work in a bar and do all
that stuff. And that's what I was beginning. I was
beginning that journey and then they were like, come on
(05:59):
in and I was like.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, amazing, Yeah, And then was it at the end
of your first year? They're like, hang on, I didn't
know they could do this at the end of first year.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They do this all the time. They do that. I
think they still do this.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Like go out and get more life experience. You're not
going on to second year.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, they were like, you're just a baby. You have
to go learn how to be a person. And I
was like, well, I knew.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
That I had. I'd booked a trip to Europe.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
This you did this.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
But I also was devastated because drama school they let
you in, they tear you down, and then they sort
of rebuild you.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But I was still in the tear down phase.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Yeah, and luckily for me, I was still pretty confident.
But I think it could be really damaging the way
that they used to behave And I've actually had one
of my teachers from VCA since reach out and apologized
to me, which was really beautiful. Wow and kind of yeah,
like a really magnificent moment for her to be like, hey,
I've heard you talk about your time and I'm so sorry,
(06:57):
and I'm proud of what you're doing now and I'm
glad you've made it. But they basically told me I
didn't have what it takes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We could do a whole podcast on like crazy stories
from drama school. Yeah, I feel like we have a
mutual friend, Chloe who the first time we caught up,
we having coffee and just talking about all the mental
things that can happen or assent to you at drama school.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And I'm like, the things you survive are mad. But
I did also love it, like I really love it
too too.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, it's it's like a weird It almost feels like
you're being indoctrinated into a strange, strange cult.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
It's Stockholm syndrome. Yeah yeah, but that's okay. I'm quite
happy to quite happy.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
To settle into the phenomena. Here for it, Here for it.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
You fall in love with the murderer.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I love it? Why not?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I mean, if you're going to be murdered, why not
make the most of it, grow up, enjoy yourself.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Plus girls, come on.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
So okay, so you are like devastated about bc A. Yeah,
in molds in a shitty winter, yeah, which is I'm
a Melbourne person. The win is a absolutely Bruis dad
buys you a heater? Yes, my dad would.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
He used to like go down to the auctions all
the time and buy stuff, so it was like a
secondhand heater. Like we didn't have that much money growing up,
I guess, and Dad just was obsessed with the auctions.
So he got this insane bar heater and was like
so proud of it and presented me with it.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
And was like, I'm going to keep you warm, and
I was like, thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Drove it down to Melbourn, but yeah, and then I
sat too close to the heater and I went up
in flames and I remember like I caught on fire
and I looked at it and I yelled stop drop
roll at myself and then I obeyed myself like it
was like you know what we say, like you find
(08:42):
out if your flight or freeze. I am absolutely fight
because I was like do this and just following myself.
I was rolling around on the ground that wasn't working,
and then my housemate sort of threw water on me.
But the thing she had it had cracks in it,
and we had this really big apartment, and she threw
this sort of empty bowl at me and just hit
(09:03):
me with a bowl and then she shoved me a
different housemates shoved me into the bathroom, into the shower,
turned on the hot water.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So I wasn't on fire anymore, but I was still burning.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
So it was a very like it was comedy of
eras kind of like it was really funny.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yeah, but also terrifying degree burns. Burns.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah, in hospital for around about a month. So I
had to have skin graft and that the skin grafts, honestly,
the worst part is it's so painful when they take
the skin from your healthy skin to stretch it out
and put it on your weed.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Don't have to skin. So they took it from.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
My thigh, my upper thigh and put it on the
back of my calf and the back of my thigh.
So they took it off sort of from the side
and the front, and then that bit it just bleeds
for like twelve days. It bleeds for a really long time.
That just it stings. I just remember it really aching
and stinging, and then you're stuck. You can't bend your
knees because they've done this operation they're trying to get
(10:01):
the skin to take where there's no skin, so you're
just so itchy while your skin's trying to heal in
so much pain.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And I was on this drug trial as well. I
think the drug was called lignacane or something.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
They were trying it for burns victims, and so I
had a little thing that I could press to get
more of the morphine and more of the lignocane, and
I remember just pressing everything as much as I could
and begging the nurse for some energen because I was
so itchy.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
But yeah, because of the trial.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I couldn't have the energon, and it was just really
just exhausting in a way that in nineteen or eighteen
ninety year old should not feel exhausted. But I feel
quite grateful for that time that I was able that
something stopped me in my tracks and was like, let's
just reset.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I feel like this was like just the beginning of
stuff to stop you in your track. So because yeah,
the gift that you really do give to the world
is like the way that you almost and I hope
this comes across I mean, if I'm not if I'm
meaning sense or anything, but like the beauty and grief
and you share that with your audience.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, I tried away.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You right, and and so I bet after going through
this like horrific thing, you would mean like, well VCA
ready yourselves.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I have got a great.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Life experience, now, I really was right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And then to be hit like straight out of hospital
with your dad, right.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
So I got out of hospital and my dad hadn't
come to visit me in hospital, which I didn't really
notice was unusual because I was so drugged up, and
you know, Mum had come down from wagas, so I
sort of thought, oh, well, dad's you know, looking after
the pets or whatever. I didn't think about it, but
I didn't realize that he was feeling a bit sick.
And then he was diagnosed with cancer and he died
(11:46):
a week later. Yeah, and we just because it was
pancreatic cancer, which is such a silent killer, super aggressive,
and we didn't know he was sick, and it was
just such a shock. And his doctors had told him
as well, you know, that it was it was something
related to his diabetes or and because my dad was
like obese whatever that means but you know, he was
(12:07):
a big man, and they would say like, oh, it's
you doing It's because you're fat or whatever, which I
think is something that happens to fat people all the time.
They just go, oh, well, if you weren't so fat,
then this wouldn't be happening. And they don't listen to
people and that, I mean, that's such a big cultural
problem and I think that cost my dad some time.
I think he could have had some extra time if
they'd listened to him. Yeah, but they didn't. They just
(12:28):
blamed his size, and so he Yeah, by the time
they figured out something was wrong, it was it was
way too late to do anything.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
It was quite I mean, yeah, it was. It was
a real shock going from learning to do like animal
work at drama school and like, you know, thinking all
my dreams had finally come true, and then I learning
to walk again. And also I've got, you know, this
father who is not going to be around. And I
(12:58):
loved my dad. He was really cool.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
You like I. I obviously like I loved him. You
love your dad, But I also liked him.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I really liked him.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Buddy.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yeah he was a buddy and he was funny.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
But I'm also kind of grateful in a way because
I don't know how he voted.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't know his politics. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten along.
Maybe he wouldn't have liked my shows. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
So I guess I never had to have that kind
of dad. The dad that's a complex adult relationship. He
was only ever my dad when I was a kid. Really,
you know, eighteen hero. Yeah, he was a hero and
he was unchanged. I never learned his flaws. I feel
quite grateful for that in a way.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
But yeah, it's so it's amazing to hear you like
find the gift of something truly like heartbreaking.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Oh you have to. I mean, look at the news,
what are we gonna do? Like you have? You have
to find meaning where there is none. That's why we
create religions. I think I love.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The way you describe what you and your brother did
at the funeral. Accidentally, Oh that it sounds like the
best funeral.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
It was a joy. Yeah, it was really so.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
My my brother and I were We all made the
playlist for my dad's funeral, and he liked country music.
He didn't like church music. He actually hated the church.
I never found out why something happened. I don't know
what it was, and that's fine, you can keep your
secrets if you want. But I he hated the church.
And so we're like, all right, well Dad's having a
Catholic funeral because it's important to mum, and funerals are
for those left behind, So totally fine if that's what
(14:28):
mum needs, absolutely respect that. And you know, she's lost
so much. So we were like, well, we'll get them.
We'll get the Catholic Church in a small way by
putting country music instead of you know, but the music
the playlist played at the wrong time, so instead of
when Dad was being carried out of the church, it
played as Dad was being lowered into the ground and
at the cemetery, and the first song on the playlist
(14:49):
was Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. And it was
such a glorious moment because that's like, the thing about
grief is like laughing, crying, and singing.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And I talk about this all the time. It's so close.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Yeah, it's such a close physiological response. And once you're
prime to do one of them, any one of the
three could come out. And so for laughter to be
the thing that comes out is such as such a
treat a thing, and so it was really nice just
to have a big, big laugh with my family. Well,
the rest of the people were quite horrified, but yeah,
you know, we're just in the front row giggling, which
(15:22):
is nice. I mean, if you have to watch your
dad go down into the ground, that I would recommend, Yeah,
I would recommend laughing.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Oh mate. And then so and then to have lost
your brother as.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Well, Yeah, my brother who I adored. I just fucking
adored your brother. And he was so cool. He was
there's all these photos of us from like when I
was a baby, because he was fifteen years.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Older than me.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
He's old.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, yeah, and he took me to like his year
ten formal.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I know.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
It was so nice.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
So losing my brother to you know, a similar cancer
was losing dad was hard. But I aways knew that
my parents were a little older than other people's parents
and they might die a bit younger, you know, I
might be a bit younger when my parents died. There
was something I was prepared for, but I wasn't prepared
to lose my brother. And when he got sick, I
remember just the whole world felt like it had collapsed,
(16:14):
like it just felt smaller, and you know, when you're
eighteen and like the world feels enormous and you could
be anything, and anything could happen. It just feels so
wide open. And it just felt like my burns happened
and it closed a little bit. And then my dad
died and it closed a little bit, and my brother
died and half the world just went away. And I
don't really necessarily feel that way anymore, but it really did.
(16:35):
Just like there was it felt like less light because
he was so funny. He traveled the world on a
dollar a day, like he was so charming, and he
saw every country. He really did his life, you know,
even though he died when he was forty two.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
No, so young.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It's wild, but he really really did it. And I
think that's really inspiring. But it was just it was cruel.
It was really cruel trick for someone to die so young,
someone who loved living so much.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And weren't you like going to Edinburgh, yes, like right
at the time, and he has like you gotta go.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, I was in Edinburgh doing the Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah,
And I.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Went to see my brothers say goodbye, you know, to
go overseas and I was like, I just I don't
know if I should go because I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
What your situation is.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
And he was like, I you have to go, like
you can't because he loved traveling and he loved Edinburgh,
and he was like, you have you have to go,
and if I die, then you'll be near a castle
rather than like in Wogga in the launde room watching
everyone else cry that's not fun. Like go and go
and do it, go and properly feel it. If I'm going,
(17:48):
I'm gone. There's nothing you can do. And I, you know,
obviously it was really confronting, but I was like, Okay,
I'm going to go, and I went and he he
asked me to record a song for him when he
knew he sort of knew he was going, and he
asked me to record this song. And I found this
(18:09):
room at the top of one of the venues guilda balloon,
which is like it's in this university building that Hogwarts
was modeled after.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And I was in the turret of that little sort
of Minnie castle, recording over and over and over and
trying to.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Get that song right. And I couldn't get it right.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
And I sent it, but I didn't send it in
time and it was too late. He was unconscious and
they played it, but I don't know if he heard it.
So it was really sad to wake up and find
out that he had gone. But it was also a
magnificent place he was right to be in, not just
(18:48):
like Scotland is beautiful, but also like he spent a
lot of his time living over there, so I felt
close to him. And also the community, the arts community,
or the freaks, all the theater kids.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
You know, we really rally, and I think there's something
magnificent because we're not afraid of grief in the way
that so many people shy away, don't know what to
say to you. Everyone loves their interested in being a person.
They're interests.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
They're curious about what it is that you're feeling and
what you're going through. So they're so generous. And I
felt like the entire city held me that day. And
I did my show that night. I didn't cancel a show,
and it was it was the most special time I've
ever had. You know, I had this I had this
bit in my show where I tell the story at
(19:30):
the time, but I had this bit where I hold
up a snow globe and I asked the audience have
you all brought your snow globes? And of course they haven't,
like why would they, It's just a segue, but.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Guild a balloon.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
The venue had gone out and bought a bunch of
snow globes and handed them to the audience members as
they came into the room.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
So when I said did you have do you bring
your snow globes? Everyone held a snow globe in the air,
and I just think you can't ask for magic like that.
That's not something. Did you hold it together? Don't know?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
I remember going, okay, there's members of the general public
who literally just bought a ticket to like who don't know.
But it was mostly I think most of the audience
was like Australian comedians who were like, we're going to
this and ones I didn't know, you know, ones that
like because this was before I had any real success,
like I wasn't famous in any way. It was just
people going, there's an Australian comedian, it's her second Edinburgh,
(20:22):
her brother just died, We're gonna go. And it was
people I had grown up watching on TV and stuff
who really turned up and yeah, just came to came
to be there for me, which was really special.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
It's like what you were saying about creatives, like they.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
They rally and they get it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah yeah, and they I think, yeah, like they're not
afraid of something about graves. Their hearts are a little
like even, yeah, you.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Have to you have to like take your skin off
to do the job, you know, right, And it's so
hard because you you are kind of exposed to a lot,
like there's a lot of rejection, there's a lot of stuff,
and so it's always raw. But also it means that
you get to feel things in such a really nice way.
And I think I would prefer to live that way
than having like a thicker skin, maybe because I feel
(21:10):
very resilient even though I am very vulnerable all the time.
I think that the two are often confused for being opposites.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh no, I think you can be them both one
hundred percent, And I think you definitely are both. Like
having researched you are like you're definitely both. So then
to then be like, Okay, some family members have passed
from cancer. I better like sus out what this means
for me and my health and how on earth do
(21:41):
you digest when you're like, Okay, So there's a ninety
seven percent chance, is that right?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah, well that's what the doctor said.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
The first doctor I spoke to said, Yeah, there's a
ninety seven percent chance that you will develop the same
like family of cancers at some point in your life,
and it's just about catching it early, which if it's
about cancer like my brother, is easy or easier, but
if it's pancreatic cancer like my dad, it's almost impossible.
(22:09):
And I you know, I was probably twenty five, twenty
six when I got that information.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I'm the youngest in my family by quite quite a mile.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
This is a eleven year gap.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, yeah, between me and my sister. So I had
a real head start and I had this. I mean,
I've got such a drive to live, I really do.
I always have, Like I've always wanted to just eat
everything and try everything and see everything. I always wanted
to see every country and stay up late. And you know,
I was just one of those people all the time.
(22:39):
I'll never say no to things. My calendar is full
to the hour.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
All this is your only day off, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Day?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
When I told you I was like, shouldn't we going
to fit it in with all the filming and stuff,
And You're like, oh, yeah, this is my only day
off in like I've heard you say you only take
Christmas off. Yeah, that is I mean, I love it.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
It's not healthy, it's it's not good. I don't advocate
for it, but it is how I live. And it's
just because I love my work as well. Like I'm
not someone who's going to a job that costs me
that much. I feel like it gives me more than
it costs me. Yeah, and I say that, I mean
I say that, but I've just been like so sick
recently because I think I overworked. And I do definitely overwork,
but like you know, I think time is there to
(23:22):
be used. And also like how much time do you
spend on your phone? Like I'd rather fill my calendar.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Or worrying or worrying, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
And it's not good for you to worry. No, it
doesn't help you, it doesn't get ahead of the problem. No,
it's such a terrible habit.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Worrying the worst, Yeah, absolute worst.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah, but I'm so afraid of dying, Like I'm so
afraid of it, so I do worry if I'm left
to my own devices. I think I'm running from death.
I think that's why I'm busy.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Well, so I've heard you say the drive that comes
from running out of time, and so like being having
experienced such loss and then being like, hang on, these
I have the same genes, and then being like all right,
and is this where average Bear, Like that concept for
average Bear came from.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, this is where I started writing the show.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Yeah, because I had this idea of like, I wanted
to write two separate shows. Originally, so I was going
to do my first like big solo show.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
It was my first solo show.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
It was my first solo show from when people knew
who I was. And I was like, Okay, this is
like me stepping out by myself and not being like
that girl from Auntie Donald or that girl from whatever.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
It's like, this is me standing on my own two feet.
What do I want to say? And who do I
want to be? Like what's my voice?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And I was like, well, I want to tell this story,
but I also want to tell this story about this
bear that's like afraid to go into hibernation and her
friends keep calling her and they're like babe.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Word hibernation, where are you?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
And then like the more I sort of talked in
circles about that show, those two shows, which was.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You know, one about my brother and my family and
one about this.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I was like, oh, they're the same show because the
bear is she doesn't want to go into hibernation because
she's she's afraid she might not wake up, and she's like, well,
if this is my last win, maybe I'll go see
this now, you know, And it's and it became a
question about you know, chemo and treatment and things. My
brother had such aggressive treatment and it kind of ruined
(25:12):
the end of his life. But he had two young kids,
so of course he had to do that, you know.
But I think if he there's a version of my
brother that didn't do the chemo and just got on
a plane and saw the world and died on his
own terms.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And I think there's something valid to that.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
And I think, you know, if I got sick, I
would definitely do a lot of treatment.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I would definitely go in.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
I do everything I do alternate therapies, I do chemo,
I do everything like I excuse me, I think like
I I stopped eating meat as soon as I found
out that I had this gene, and I you know,
got obsessed with carcinogens and obsessed with like, you know,
there's there's a version of me that really could have
gone down the like crazy lady pipeline and just scared
(25:54):
of everything. Yeah, And I try to be in you know,
do things in moderation. But I love and this is way,
like was excited to talk to you because I love
like trying to live a healthy and balanced life while
also you know, trying to enjoy everything.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
It's really difficult.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
It may I mean, it's it is hard. It is hard.
Like that's something that I think comes for like we
all are like, well, we want to be like there's
a thing in the health world, you know, I'm a
nutritionist right called orthorexia, and it's just where you're obsessed
with like, yeah, how many colories does that have? Or
does that have a castinogen in it?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
All?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
What about that colorant?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
All this?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
And actually like that anxiety is more damaging for your
health than having a really wholesome meal out with someone
that you love and you're just celebrating and like, in
so many cultures that's what food's about. And sometimes we
forget that. Yeah, I have to ask you, and this
is a bit of a selfish question because I know you.
(26:50):
I know you've to it La, New York, Like, how
did it feel going to America? Because I, like, I
live in LA and it I feel like you were
just like the Americans would eat you up in such
a good way.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I had a great time.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
I've only ever done yeah, two shows of Average Bear Yeah,
and I loved I loved it. I did off Broadway
at a Soho Theater in New York and I loved it,
and they you know, got a standing ovation and it
was sold out.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I had a really wonderful time. And then I did my.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Show A Dynasty Typewriter in LA and I loved that.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The audience again like sold out, standing ovation.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
It was just beautiful, Like I found, I felt really
embraced by them because I think Americans aren't afraid of
their emotions in the way that a lot of Australians are.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
And I really love that about the Americans.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Like I knew, I knew that people coming to this
would really feel this and resonate with it. And I
mean I've been lucky, like I've gone to the UK
and it's done well. So I'm like, if the Britz
will stand up, the Americans will stand up, you know,
like if the britzill cry, the Americans will, right.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But I love America.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
I mean I love LA and the culture of like
I love being able to get like a smoothie with like.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Mushrooms that will make me smart. Like I love shit
like that five million dollars.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
What's the place aeropot Yeah, I'm usays like I love
that ship that.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You say it properly.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
If I say to all an American, I'm like, oh,
I'm just going.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
To Air one.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
They're like, what Era one? It's crazy?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Yeah, But I really, you know, I really do love
and embrace that like whole let's be as healthy as
we can. But also at the same time, I love
going out for a glass of orange wine and oh
yeah bread and olive oiler. Yeah, I'm like, let's go.
That's what life is, you know. So I think they
actually are both. It's about nourishing just different parts of you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I my friend.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
There's so much stuff that I that I have to
ask you, and I want to know You've also got
a new show as well, right.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
I do, Yes, I just did it.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
An Adelaide Fringe and I'll do it at Edin Brothercier.
It's called It's a Shame we Won't be Friends next year,
and I love it and I'm really glad it's good
because I didn't know if it was going to be
just in my Adelaide season and it turns out it's
People really liked it. But it's about this little boy
said to me in year six, it's a shame we
won't be friends next year. And I was like, but
(29:07):
we're going to the same high school and he's like, yeah,
I don't think people will like you in high school.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
And I was like, oh what. So it was like
my first othering, I guess.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
And so from that point I talk about, like, you know,
one that I got this one bad review in London
that was my first bad review and it sent me
into a spin. And I think it was because it
said it's a shame because she's talented, but she's.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Not you know, we don't like the show or whatever.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
And then it reminded me of drama school, of like
my teacher saying it's a shame he's just so talented,
but you just don't have what it takes or whatever,
and I was like, oh, it's I just have this
recurring like shame around the phrase it's a shame, and
I've really held on to it. And so I've reached
out to the reviewer and spoke to her and she
was beautiful. She was so eloquent. And I reached out
(29:50):
to the little boy from year six and he was
amazing as well. He was so kind and and then
the show sort of focuses on the nice things that
people say about us and saying nice things to each other,
because you know, it's so easy to hold onto the negative.
And the person that really built me up and made
me who I am is actually my drama teacher, Peter Cox,
who was the first person to be like, you're you're special.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Good for you, Peter. Yeah, he was a ledge we've
all got to have in a corner.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah we really do.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Yeah, and like people, you know, we undervalue teachers so much.
But he changed my entire life and every piece of success.
Like I wasn't thank God you're here because at lunchtime
to hide from the bullies, he would let me watch
thank God You'll hear.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
DVD's in the drama room. Like that's why, Like it's
so clear who I am is because of him.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
How fun is that show?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
And he loves the best. It's crazy. It's mad because
they take you. You know, you're backstage and you're sort
of like they might be moving your set. So there's
a bunch of people who like, we'll just sort of
turn you to a wall. You can't see any of
the extras, you can't see any costumes.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
It's quite mad. A lot of people are like, oh,
is it really improvised. I'm like, you can't. I can't
tell you how improvises. You don't.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
You don't even see your own costume really until you
go on. So it's so fast paced and quite mad,
but it's a joy. It's so because.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
That concept for a show has been around forever, hasn't it.
That's like, yeah, back in the day and we're going up. Yeah, Okay,
I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this,
so we can take it out.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
If we're not allowed to ghosts, we're not allowed to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Everything everything I researched. I was like, so we won't
go there. Okay, So if you and I could look
into a crystal ball right now, Okay, you've done so
much stuff, like you love living you've just said it.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I love moving, I love it, and.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
You write, you act, you sing, like there's this whole
musical theater you know twang which you trained in Ballarat,
right I did?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah? Yeah I did.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
And I guess I want to know, like, because you
clearly run at everything and you've got so much drive
and tenacity. What if we were chatting in a year
from now, like, what would the dream be like? Do
you know what I mean? Like, oh, and I know
this stuff that you can't talk about.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I was like, I've just had a dream come true
that I don't even know what. I guess what I
can say is for the first time I've been cast
in something that I get to create the character alongside
the writers and I'll be the first person to play
that character. And I get to play just one character
in the entire because I'm always doing sketch or like
(32:24):
you know, things like that. So that was like my
long term dream and now I really so I really
want to get the TV version of Average Bear up
to be as like that's what I'm really working on,
and I want to be show running that and sort
of the like traditional US way of like just doing that.
(32:48):
And I think that would be. I think that's my dream.
I think that's what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
What is your favorite medium because you cross so many?
Oh my god, it's such a good question.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Listen.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I think singing is the most important thing to me, so,
like if I sometimes think, because this is an interesting thing,
is I often get like colonoscopies because of my health situation,
but I never get endoscopies because I'm so afraid that
someone will accidentally nick one of my vocal folds, and
it's the only thing that I'm like. I think maybe
(33:19):
I would take being able to sing until I die
rather than more time. I think that might be true.
I don't, and that's quite mad, but it's so important
to me. So I think singing is my favorite thing.
But in terms of acting, I love I love being
on set because you become such a family. But then
I love being in the theater because you're with the
audience and it's so live and like a tennis match.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I think I think doing screen comedy.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
Acting with a lot of heart in it is really
beautiful because you don't have to there's no technical stuff
that you need to do to make sure you're heard.
You can really just play that part because there's a
camera on you and you don't have to get to
the back of five hundred people what you're getting to
the front row.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
So I think maybe that's I think that feels very
pure to me.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
What about you? Can I ask you?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Oh my goodness, well no, it's my dream is like
literally sitcom or drama.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Y okay, amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I love that in an ensemble, yeah, we're playing with
your friends. Yeah, but on set for sure, I love
I love so much fun.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
It is so much fun, even the days along. But like,
I don't know why people complain about it. People bring
you a coffee, they bring you all your food, someone
carries your shoes, they give you a jacket as soon
as they call cut.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
It's like, it's crazy that anyone would ever complain about
their job.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
To be honest, I'll have to get you back on
after you do the dream I really can't talk about
because I love hearing the story of light, especially because
you're having such a your fingerprints going to be on
this character in such a way like you're part of
the writing and all of that. But also like I
love you, like when you get your costume and make
it like how that affects like you becoming this character
(34:56):
because essentially it is a version of you, but like
with all these other the elements that are like so
we'll have to have a part too one day, my
friend will, I couldn't have you on without asking advice
For a young creative, whether it's actor or a singer
or a writer, it can be really daunting, and I
(35:16):
do think like sometimes it can feel like the dream
is so far away and it's too hard, like it's
just out of reach absolutely, And what advice would you
have for a creative that just has a dream but
is a bit scared to go after it?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Okay, I totally understand how you feel. I'm from the country.
Speaker 4 (35:33):
I remember being from the country and just being like,
how would you even begin so specifically if you're from
the country, it's really really hard. But anyone who doesn't
have any contacts, I think, see as much as you can,
see as much as you can. And you're growing up
in a time now where like I mean I'm saying
growing up, but like we're in a time now where
you can make content online, you can make content, and
I would just say, like throw it out into the void,
(35:56):
like especially on TikTok, it's not really going to stick
to you in any real way. Like Instagram feels more
personal for some reason, but TikTok is like just try
your stuff. You don't even have to like share your
stuff with people, you know, but just make stuff. And
if you don't feel comfortable making stuff or you don't
know how, like learn how to make theater with your friends,
(36:16):
find your people. See as much as you possibly can,
and I mean like see as much theater, read as
much as you can, and like a lot of places
will have like if you call like a theater and
be like, hey, could you put me on a list
for if you need seat that bums on seats because
someone's filming something, or you know, and you call like Century.
(36:38):
If you want to get into comedy, you call Century,
or you call Token, Like don't call them, but you
can sign up for their mailing list and you might
get free tickets to somebody's trial show, like if you
can't afford because I know that class is the biggest boundary,
you know, and that's really hard and I face that
when I was young, and I think, you know, there's
ways to sort of get your get your fingers in there,
(37:00):
But just see as much as you can, read as
much as you can. If you want to make films,
go and see theater. If you want to make theater,
go to a concert, like, get as much as you can,
and do get training if you can. If you can't
afford it, prioritize your training. Don't just wait for things
to happen to you. Always ask the question. Always ask, Hey,
I'm trying to do this, can you help me? Like
(37:22):
you'd be surprised by how many people can help you
and how many things I got just by saying can
I have a go? Like I really always my whole
life to put my hand up. I remember like I
started doing comedy because I wanted to do acting and
I couldn't get my I couldn't get an agent, like
I couldn't get my head in the ring. So I
was just like, Okay, I'll do this and then maybe
one day someone will see me, and they did, you know.
(37:43):
And a lot of the time I get cast for
things without auditioning because people have seen me do so
much stuff now and that wouldn't be happening at my
age if I had just been straight up an actor.
But yeah, just have everything, do as much as you
can have your finger in every single pie because you
never know which one's going to get baked.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
And make your own work. I know that's a lot,
but just do it. Don't be afraid of it, don't
be afraid to ask for anything. I got a job once.
I got my first TV full time job was mad
as Hell. Sean mccalves mad as Well, and I.
Speaker 4 (38:12):
Got that specifically because I said to my friend Tom Ballard,
who I wasn't even that close to you at the time.
I was like, you know, I knew him, but he
was like much more famous and successful than me. And
we were in a car by chance because we were
doing this media call for the Comedy Festival, and he
was like, I'm doing this play and I was like,
oh cool, what's the play? And he told me about
the play that he'd written and that there was a
(38:33):
role in it that was like she's a singer, and
I was like, well, Tom, I'm a singer and an actor.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Please put me on your play. He put me in
his play.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
Sean came and that served as my audition for mad
as Hell, and then I'd got into mad as Hell.
But also Sean had seen me doing Auntie Donna sketches
with my friends because we made our own stuff, and
we've made We've had so much success in making our
own stuff. So I think that just the more ways
you can put your hand up and say hey, I'm
here and I'm trying, I think it's really helpful, really good.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
You can only get a no. I mean, don't be annoying,
but like I love, I.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Love, I love what you said, Like put your fingers
in as many parts as you can. One of them
all bake, like exactly, something's gonna I think that we
get really scared when we hyper focus on one thing
and it doesn't work out, and it's like it's not
not all of them are ever going.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
To work out.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
You to me feel fearless, Like I don't think you're
afraid of doing scary things?
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Would you agree? Yes? I think so.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Well, my biggest fear is dying. So I'm not going
to like jump out of a plane. I'm not gonna
tempt to fase. Yeah, but yeah, I'm not afraid of.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Like if anyone's like, can you ride a horse for
this job, I'm like, yeah, I can ride a horse.
I can't ride a horse, but like I'll learn.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
You figure it out, figure it out along the way,
along the way exactly, like, why not, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
It's fine. And I'm not afraid of failing in front
of an audience, like who cares.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I feel like that's the gift of being a stand
up though. Yes, I've had a lot of You don't
get to succeed unless you bomb.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
Right, I think so.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
And I also think having theater training, I would say you,
for any comedians, get as much theater training as you can,
because then you will not turn on your audience the
way that you sometimes see comedians turn on the audience.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
And it's really awful. They might be enjoying it, you
don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
They're just enjoying it quietly, and people will just turn
on them and be like, okay, well this worked in
this city and okay, all right, well I'm not even
gonna do that because you hate me and it's like
stop this this was going really well.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
So I think that they all combine, you know, they
all really help.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Yeah, No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
I'm not afraid of the stage because I had to
learn to walk again, grow up. Also, the audience is
never gonna think about you again. If you bomb like,
they're not gonna be like how embarrassing. They're just gonna
be like, oh, yeah, we saw this girl, she's fine,
Like whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah, how good you've got.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
You've got such a good ability of like getting getting
information and either going yep, great, I'm gonna use that
here or I don't need that, let it go.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
You have to learn to filter things, yeah, filter them
into like a meaningful experience or something that's not going
to help you.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Don't read your reviews.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, oh my goodness, Michelle, You're an absolute gem of
a human being. I could talk to you all all day, love,
and I really look forward to what comes next for you. Truly,
I am so pumped for you. And yeah, go out there,
keep doing the thing. You're killing it.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,
thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation
on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollerberry.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
This potty my word.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
For podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love
it if you could subscribe, rape and comment, and of
course spread the love.
Get a. I'm Lala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,
and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure
because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,
grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview
a different guest about their highs as well as they're lows,
(00:26):
all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail. Hello, gangles,
we have a very talented human. I don't know why
I want to whisper that bit, but we have a
very talented human on the pod today. Michelle Brazier, actor, comedian, author, singer, screenwriter,
(00:48):
and just announced in a new TV show called Ghosts.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
You'll hear me in this chat.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I asked for about it because I'm a big fan
of the American version of the.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Show, and I was like, oh my god, and congrats.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Go so were allowed to say anything, and she was like,
oh no, actually no we're not. But the great news
is it's since been released that news, so we are
going to keep it in the pod and we're allowed
to talk about it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So congrats Michelle. You absolute rip up.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
But the other cool thing that Michelle has let me
do is share what she's got going on. So she's
doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August. I keep wanting
to say film festival. So the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August,
and it's her new show. It's a shame we won't
be friends next year. She's got the Adelaide Cabaret Festival
(01:38):
in June and that's Average Bear with a string section.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
How cool.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
She's got the Sydney Riders Festie coming up. I reckon
that's happening any day now because we're in May. And
then she's got the Perth Comedy Festival. It's a shame
we won't be friends next year. She's also doing the
Hobart Festival of Voices Average Bear. She's also touring Every
Bear in Auckland in June.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Holy Mac and her book My.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Brother's Ashes Are in a Sandwich Bag is also available
as a book and as an audio book. It's all
in the show notes, so you can get your hands
on it and support Michelle. Just as a not even
a trigger warning, but just let you know. We talk
a bit about grief, or a lot about grief. Michelle
shares it so honestly, openly, and there's a sense of
(02:28):
clarity about the way she communicates, Michelle, You're absolutely flipping
wonderful and I can't wait to see one of your
amazing stand up shows and I can't wait to watch
you in Ghosts. Massive congrats mates, mates, mate, I'm recording
this quite late at night in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
I've just been I've just side note my friends.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I've just been to one of Quentin Tarantino's movie theaters
here in LA. It's eleven forty one pm. But I
need to get this intro recorded so that at times
right for an Aussie Monday release tomorrow. So that's why
if I sound a little delia, that is why it
does not take away from the fact that Michelle, you
are absolutely unreal.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Loved having you in the Pot of Rooney.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Thank you for sharing so honestly and courageously. And to
you the listener, I hope you take something away from
this chat. I hope you support Michelle, whether it's you
grab a book, go see one of her shows. She's
a good egg, all right, enjoy pue Michelle Brazier, thanks
(03:33):
for coming on the pod.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Thank you for having me on the pod.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh my goodness, you, my friend, are awesome. Slashy.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Can I owe you that. Yes, yeah, you can call
me a slash.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
I got called a rack on teur by a review
in the UK, and I was like, first of all,
I had to google rac on tur.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I don't know what that means.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, I think it means like a storyteller of like
many forms. But I had to I really I kind
of thought it was like like a Philander, Like I
thought it was like a man who sleeps a lot
of women.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I can't see how you'd get that.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Why, I can see them both?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, so you're an actor, comedian, author, singer, screenwriter.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Have I missed some stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Dog enthusiast? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Is it Eve even ether?
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
My little girl too friendly to be a guide dog?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
So now a guide dog ambassador? Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Yeah. She's actually recently retired, so she's a free agent now,
which is nice if anyone wants her to advertise anything.
She's not working for guide dogs anymore. But yeah, she's
she's the best dog. She's pretty incredible.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Amazing. Now, you, my friend, feel like someone that does
not stop. And I love it. I'm here for it
as a creative as well. I think that sometimes we
can get a step back and let it kind of
like stop us moving forward out of fear of rejection
or failing. Like you're an actor and you know, like
(05:02):
acting world is like rejection. Oh he's a little bit
more rejection. Oh he's a little bit more Yeah, but
it just for you. You seem to be like someone that's
just like, well, I'm going to find a way to
keep creating. I'm going to do this. So take me
back to the VCA. Okay, so you were nineteen, right.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I was eighteen when I got in Where are you?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
I was just a baby and I was from Wogart,
went to the capital of Australia. So it was pretty
as a big culture shock to be honest, to move
to Melbourne.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
But right, it was cool. I was. I felt so honored,
you know. It was my dream. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
So many people audition and don't get in.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Exactly, and I thought I was going to do that
because I'd been told your audition for all the drama schools,
you do the rounds and then they say no until
you're like twenty three. But you just keep auditioning and
you get used to the rejection of the industry from
the auditions, and then you just sort of travel to
Europe and like work in a bar and do all
that stuff. And that's what I was beginning. I was
beginning that journey and then they were like, come on
(05:59):
in and I was like.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, amazing, Yeah, And then was it at the end
of your first year? They're like, hang on, I didn't
know they could do this at the end of first year.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
They do this all the time. They do that. I
think they still do this.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Like go out and get more life experience. You're not
going on to second year.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yeah, they were like, you're just a baby. You have
to go learn how to be a person. And I
was like, well, I knew.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
That I had. I'd booked a trip to Europe.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
This you did this.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
But I also was devastated because drama school they let
you in, they tear you down, and then they sort
of rebuild you.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
But I was still in the tear down phase.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Yeah, and luckily for me, I was still pretty confident.
But I think it could be really damaging the way
that they used to behave And I've actually had one
of my teachers from VCA since reach out and apologized
to me, which was really beautiful. Wow and kind of yeah,
like a really magnificent moment for her to be like, hey,
I've heard you talk about your time and I'm so sorry,
(06:57):
and I'm proud of what you're doing now and I'm
glad you've made it. But they basically told me I
didn't have what it takes.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We could do a whole podcast on like crazy stories
from drama school. Yeah, I feel like we have a
mutual friend, Chloe who the first time we caught up,
we having coffee and just talking about all the mental
things that can happen or assent to you at drama school.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And I'm like, the things you survive are mad. But
I did also love it, like I really love it
too too.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, it's it's like a weird It almost feels like
you're being indoctrinated into a strange, strange cult.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
It's Stockholm syndrome. Yeah yeah, but that's okay. I'm quite
happy to quite happy.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
To settle into the phenomena. Here for it, Here for it.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
You fall in love with the murderer.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I love it? Why not?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I mean, if you're going to be murdered, why not
make the most of it, grow up, enjoy yourself.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Plus girls, come on.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
So okay, so you are like devastated about bc A. Yeah,
in molds in a shitty winter, yeah, which is I'm
a Melbourne person. The win is a absolutely Bruis dad
buys you a heater? Yes, my dad would.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
He used to like go down to the auctions all
the time and buy stuff, so it was like a
secondhand heater. Like we didn't have that much money growing up,
I guess, and Dad just was obsessed with the auctions.
So he got this insane bar heater and was like
so proud of it and presented me with it.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
And was like, I'm going to keep you warm, and
I was like, thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Drove it down to Melbourn, but yeah, and then I
sat too close to the heater and I went up
in flames and I remember like I caught on fire
and I looked at it and I yelled stop drop
roll at myself and then I obeyed myself like it
was like you know what we say, like you find
(08:42):
out if your flight or freeze. I am absolutely fight
because I was like do this and just following myself.
I was rolling around on the ground that wasn't working,
and then my housemate sort of threw water on me.
But the thing she had it had cracks in it,
and we had this really big apartment, and she threw
this sort of empty bowl at me and just hit
(09:03):
me with a bowl and then she shoved me a
different housemates shoved me into the bathroom, into the shower,
turned on the hot water.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
So I wasn't on fire anymore, but I was still burning.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
So it was a very like it was comedy of
eras kind of like it was really funny.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yeah, but also terrifying degree burns. Burns.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Yeah, in hospital for around about a month. So I
had to have skin graft and that the skin grafts, honestly,
the worst part is it's so painful when they take
the skin from your healthy skin to stretch it out
and put it on your weed.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Don't have to skin. So they took it from.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
My thigh, my upper thigh and put it on the
back of my calf and the back of my thigh.
So they took it off sort of from the side
and the front, and then that bit it just bleeds
for like twelve days. It bleeds for a really long time.
That just it stings. I just remember it really aching
and stinging, and then you're stuck. You can't bend your
knees because they've done this operation they're trying to get
(10:01):
the skin to take where there's no skin, so you're
just so itchy while your skin's trying to heal in
so much pain.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
And I was on this drug trial as well. I
think the drug was called lignacane or something.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
They were trying it for burns victims, and so I
had a little thing that I could press to get
more of the morphine and more of the lignocane, and
I remember just pressing everything as much as I could
and begging the nurse for some energen because I was
so itchy.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
But yeah, because of the trial.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I couldn't have the energon, and it was just really
just exhausting in a way that in nineteen or eighteen
ninety year old should not feel exhausted. But I feel
quite grateful for that time that I was able that
something stopped me in my tracks and was like, let's
just reset.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I feel like this was like just the beginning of
stuff to stop you in your track. So because yeah,
the gift that you really do give to the world
is like the way that you almost and I hope
this comes across I mean, if I'm not if I'm
meaning sense or anything, but like the beauty and grief
and you share that with your audience.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, I tried away.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You right, and and so I bet after going through
this like horrific thing, you would mean like, well VCA
ready yourselves.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I have got a great.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Life experience, now, I really was right.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And then to be hit like straight out of hospital
with your dad, right.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
So I got out of hospital and my dad hadn't
come to visit me in hospital, which I didn't really
notice was unusual because I was so drugged up, and
you know, Mum had come down from wagas, so I
sort of thought, oh, well, dad's you know, looking after
the pets or whatever. I didn't think about it, but
I didn't realize that he was feeling a bit sick.
And then he was diagnosed with cancer and he died
(11:46):
a week later. Yeah, and we just because it was
pancreatic cancer, which is such a silent killer, super aggressive,
and we didn't know he was sick, and it was
just such a shock. And his doctors had told him
as well, you know, that it was it was something
related to his diabetes or and because my dad was
like obese whatever that means but you know, he was
(12:07):
a big man, and they would say like, oh, it's
you doing It's because you're fat or whatever, which I
think is something that happens to fat people all the time.
They just go, oh, well, if you weren't so fat,
then this wouldn't be happening. And they don't listen to
people and that, I mean, that's such a big cultural
problem and I think that cost my dad some time.
I think he could have had some extra time if
they'd listened to him. Yeah, but they didn't. They just
(12:28):
blamed his size, and so he Yeah, by the time
they figured out something was wrong, it was it was
way too late to do anything.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
It was quite I mean, yeah, it was. It was
a real shock going from learning to do like animal
work at drama school and like, you know, thinking all
my dreams had finally come true, and then I learning
to walk again. And also I've got, you know, this
father who is not going to be around. And I
(12:58):
loved my dad. He was really cool.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
You like I. I obviously like I loved him. You
love your dad, But I also liked him.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I really liked him.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Buddy.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Yeah he was a buddy and he was funny.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
But I'm also kind of grateful in a way because
I don't know how he voted.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't know his politics. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten along.
Maybe he wouldn't have liked my shows. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
So I guess I never had to have that kind
of dad. The dad that's a complex adult relationship. He
was only ever my dad when I was a kid. Really,
you know, eighteen hero. Yeah, he was a hero and
he was unchanged. I never learned his flaws. I feel
quite grateful for that in a way.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
But yeah, it's so it's amazing to hear you like
find the gift of something truly like heartbreaking.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Oh you have to. I mean, look at the news,
what are we gonna do? Like you have? You have
to find meaning where there is none. That's why we
create religions. I think I love.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
The way you describe what you and your brother did
at the funeral. Accidentally, Oh that it sounds like the
best funeral.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
It was a joy. Yeah, it was really so.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
My my brother and I were We all made the
playlist for my dad's funeral, and he liked country music.
He didn't like church music. He actually hated the church.
I never found out why something happened. I don't know
what it was, and that's fine, you can keep your
secrets if you want. But I he hated the church.
And so we're like, all right, well Dad's having a
Catholic funeral because it's important to mum, and funerals are
for those left behind, So totally fine if that's what
(14:28):
mum needs, absolutely respect that. And you know, she's lost
so much. So we were like, well, we'll get them.
We'll get the Catholic Church in a small way by
putting country music instead of you know, but the music
the playlist played at the wrong time, so instead of
when Dad was being carried out of the church, it
played as Dad was being lowered into the ground and
at the cemetery, and the first song on the playlist
(14:49):
was Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. And it was
such a glorious moment because that's like, the thing about
grief is like laughing, crying, and singing.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
And I talk about this all the time. It's so close.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Yeah, it's such a close physiological response. And once you're
prime to do one of them, any one of the
three could come out. And so for laughter to be
the thing that comes out is such as such a
treat a thing, and so it was really nice just
to have a big, big laugh with my family. Well,
the rest of the people were quite horrified, but yeah,
you know, we're just in the front row giggling, which
(15:22):
is nice. I mean, if you have to watch your
dad go down into the ground, that I would recommend, Yeah,
I would recommend laughing.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Oh mate. And then so and then to have lost
your brother as.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Well, Yeah, my brother who I adored. I just fucking
adored your brother. And he was so cool. He was
there's all these photos of us from like when I
was a baby, because he was fifteen years.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Older than me.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
He's old.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah, yeah, and he took me to like his year
ten formal.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
I know.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
It was so nice.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
So losing my brother to you know, a similar cancer
was losing dad was hard. But I aways knew that
my parents were a little older than other people's parents
and they might die a bit younger, you know, I
might be a bit younger when my parents died. There
was something I was prepared for, but I wasn't prepared
to lose my brother. And when he got sick, I
remember just the whole world felt like it had collapsed,
(16:14):
like it just felt smaller, and you know, when you're
eighteen and like the world feels enormous and you could
be anything, and anything could happen. It just feels so
wide open. And it just felt like my burns happened
and it closed a little bit. And then my dad
died and it closed a little bit, and my brother
died and half the world just went away. And I
don't really necessarily feel that way anymore, but it really did.
(16:35):
Just like there was it felt like less light because
he was so funny. He traveled the world on a
dollar a day, like he was so charming, and he
saw every country. He really did his life, you know,
even though he died when he was forty two.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
No, so young.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It's wild, but he really really did it. And I
think that's really inspiring. But it was just it was cruel.
It was really cruel trick for someone to die so young,
someone who loved living so much.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
And weren't you like going to Edinburgh, yes, like right
at the time, and he has like you gotta go.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, I was in Edinburgh doing the Edinburgh Fringe. Yeah,
And I.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Went to see my brothers say goodbye, you know, to
go overseas and I was like, I just I don't
know if I should go because I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
What your situation is.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
And he was like, I you have to go, like
you can't because he loved traveling and he loved Edinburgh,
and he was like, you have you have to go,
and if I die, then you'll be near a castle
rather than like in Wogga in the launde room watching
everyone else cry that's not fun. Like go and go
and do it, go and properly feel it. If I'm going,
(17:48):
I'm gone. There's nothing you can do. And I, you know,
obviously it was really confronting, but I was like, Okay,
I'm going to go, and I went and he he
asked me to record a song for him when he
knew he sort of knew he was going, and he
asked me to record this song. And I found this
(18:09):
room at the top of one of the venues guilda balloon,
which is like it's in this university building that Hogwarts
was modeled after.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
It's really beautiful.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And I was in the turret of that little sort
of Minnie castle, recording over and over and over and
trying to.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Get that song right. And I couldn't get it right.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
And I sent it, but I didn't send it in
time and it was too late. He was unconscious and
they played it, but I don't know if he heard it.
So it was really sad to wake up and find
out that he had gone. But it was also a
magnificent place he was right to be in, not just
(18:48):
like Scotland is beautiful, but also like he spent a
lot of his time living over there, so I felt
close to him. And also the community, the arts community,
or the freaks, all the theater kids.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
You know, we really rally, and I think there's something
magnificent because we're not afraid of grief in the way
that so many people shy away, don't know what to
say to you. Everyone loves their interested in being a person.
They're interests.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
They're curious about what it is that you're feeling and
what you're going through. So they're so generous. And I
felt like the entire city held me that day. And
I did my show that night. I didn't cancel a show,
and it was it was the most special time I've
ever had. You know, I had this I had this
bit in my show where I tell the story at
(19:30):
the time, but I had this bit where I hold
up a snow globe and I asked the audience have
you all brought your snow globes? And of course they haven't,
like why would they, It's just a segue, but.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Guild a balloon.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
The venue had gone out and bought a bunch of
snow globes and handed them to the audience members as
they came into the room.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
So when I said did you have do you bring
your snow globes? Everyone held a snow globe in the air,
and I just think you can't ask for magic like that.
That's not something. Did you hold it together? Don't know?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
I remember going, okay, there's members of the general public
who literally just bought a ticket to like who don't know.
But it was mostly I think most of the audience
was like Australian comedians who were like, we're going to
this and ones I didn't know, you know, ones that
like because this was before I had any real success,
like I wasn't famous in any way. It was just
people going, there's an Australian comedian, it's her second Edinburgh,
(20:22):
her brother just died, We're gonna go. And it was
people I had grown up watching on TV and stuff
who really turned up and yeah, just came to came
to be there for me, which was really special.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
It's like what you were saying about creatives, like they.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
They rally and they get it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah yeah, and they I think, yeah, like they're not
afraid of something about graves. Their hearts are a little
like even, yeah, you.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Have to you have to like take your skin off
to do the job, you know, right, And it's so
hard because you you are kind of exposed to a lot,
like there's a lot of rejection, there's a lot of stuff,
and so it's always raw. But also it means that
you get to feel things in such a really nice way.
And I think I would prefer to live that way
than having like a thicker skin, maybe because I feel
(21:10):
very resilient even though I am very vulnerable all the time.
I think that the two are often confused for being opposites.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Oh no, I think you can be them both one
hundred percent, And I think you definitely are both. Like
having researched you are like you're definitely both. So then
to then be like, Okay, some family members have passed
from cancer. I better like sus out what this means
for me and my health and how on earth do
(21:41):
you digest when you're like, Okay, So there's a ninety
seven percent chance, is that right?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Yeah, well that's what the doctor said.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
The first doctor I spoke to said, Yeah, there's a
ninety seven percent chance that you will develop the same
like family of cancers at some point in your life,
and it's just about catching it early, which if it's
about cancer like my brother, is easy or easier, but
if it's pancreatic cancer like my dad, it's almost impossible.
(22:09):
And I you know, I was probably twenty five, twenty
six when I got that information.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I'm the youngest in my family by quite quite a mile.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
This is a eleven year gap.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, yeah, between me and my sister. So I had
a real head start and I had this. I mean,
I've got such a drive to live, I really do.
I always have, Like I've always wanted to just eat
everything and try everything and see everything. I always wanted
to see every country and stay up late. And you know,
I was just one of those people all the time.
(22:39):
I'll never say no to things. My calendar is full
to the hour.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
All this is your only day off, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Day?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
When I told you I was like, shouldn't we going
to fit it in with all the filming and stuff,
And You're like, oh, yeah, this is my only day
off in like I've heard you say you only take
Christmas off. Yeah, that is I mean, I love it.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
It's not healthy, it's it's not good. I don't advocate
for it, but it is how I live. And it's
just because I love my work as well. Like I'm
not someone who's going to a job that costs me
that much. I feel like it gives me more than
it costs me. Yeah, and I say that, I mean
I say that, but I've just been like so sick
recently because I think I overworked. And I do definitely overwork,
but like you know, I think time is there to
(23:22):
be used. And also like how much time do you
spend on your phone? Like I'd rather fill my calendar.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Or worrying or worrying, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
And it's not good for you to worry. No, it
doesn't help you, it doesn't get ahead of the problem. No,
it's such a terrible habit.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Worrying the worst, Yeah, absolute worst.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Yeah, but I'm so afraid of dying, Like I'm so
afraid of it, so I do worry if I'm left
to my own devices. I think I'm running from death.
I think that's why I'm busy.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Well, so I've heard you say the drive that comes
from running out of time, and so like being having
experienced such loss and then being like, hang on, these
I have the same genes, and then being like all right,
and is this where average Bear, Like that concept for
average Bear came from.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah, this is where I started writing the show.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
Yeah, because I had this idea of like, I wanted
to write two separate shows. Originally, so I was going
to do my first like big solo show.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
It was my first solo show.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
It was my first solo show from when people knew
who I was. And I was like, Okay, this is
like me stepping out by myself and not being like
that girl from Auntie Donald or that girl from whatever.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
It's like, this is me standing on my own two feet.
What do I want to say? And who do I
want to be? Like what's my voice?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
And I was like, well, I want to tell this story,
but I also want to tell this story about this
bear that's like afraid to go into hibernation and her
friends keep calling her and they're like babe.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Word hibernation, where are you?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
And then like the more I sort of talked in
circles about that show, those two shows, which was.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You know, one about my brother and my family and
one about this.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I was like, oh, they're the same show because the
bear is she doesn't want to go into hibernation because
she's she's afraid she might not wake up, and she's like, well,
if this is my last win, maybe I'll go see
this now, you know, And it's and it became a
question about you know, chemo and treatment and things. My
brother had such aggressive treatment and it kind of ruined
(25:12):
the end of his life. But he had two young kids,
so of course he had to do that, you know.
But I think if he there's a version of my
brother that didn't do the chemo and just got on
a plane and saw the world and died on his
own terms.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And I think there's something valid to that.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
And I think, you know, if I got sick, I
would definitely do a lot of treatment.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I would definitely go in.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
I do everything I do alternate therapies, I do chemo,
I do everything like I excuse me, I think like
I I stopped eating meat as soon as I found
out that I had this gene, and I you know,
got obsessed with carcinogens and obsessed with like, you know,
there's there's a version of me that really could have
gone down the like crazy lady pipeline and just scared
(25:54):
of everything. Yeah, And I try to be in you know,
do things in moderation. But I love and this is way,
like was excited to talk to you because I love
like trying to live a healthy and balanced life while
also you know, trying to enjoy everything.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
It's really difficult.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
It may I mean, it's it is hard. It is hard.
Like that's something that I think comes for like we
all are like, well, we want to be like there's
a thing in the health world, you know, I'm a
nutritionist right called orthorexia, and it's just where you're obsessed
with like, yeah, how many colories does that have? Or
does that have a castinogen in it?
Speaker 3 (26:27):
All?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
What about that colorant?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
All this?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
And actually like that anxiety is more damaging for your
health than having a really wholesome meal out with someone
that you love and you're just celebrating and like, in
so many cultures that's what food's about. And sometimes we
forget that. Yeah, I have to ask you, and this
is a bit of a selfish question because I know you.
(26:50):
I know you've to it La, New York, Like, how
did it feel going to America? Because I, like, I
live in LA and it I feel like you were
just like the Americans would eat you up in such
a good way.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I had a great time.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
I've only ever done yeah, two shows of Average Bear Yeah,
and I loved I loved it. I did off Broadway
at a Soho Theater in New York and I loved it,
and they you know, got a standing ovation and it
was sold out.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I had a really wonderful time. And then I did my.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Show A Dynasty Typewriter in LA and I loved that.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
The audience again like sold out, standing ovation.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
It was just beautiful, Like I found, I felt really
embraced by them because I think Americans aren't afraid of
their emotions in the way that a lot of Australians are.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
And I really love that about the Americans.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
Like I knew, I knew that people coming to this
would really feel this and resonate with it. And I
mean I've been lucky, like I've gone to the UK
and it's done well. So I'm like, if the Britz
will stand up, the Americans will stand up, you know,
like if the britzill cry, the Americans will, right.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
But I love America.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
I mean I love LA and the culture of like
I love being able to get like a smoothie with like.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Mushrooms that will make me smart. Like I love shit
like that five million dollars.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
What's the place aeropot Yeah, I'm usays like I love
that ship that.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You say it properly.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
If I say to all an American, I'm like, oh,
I'm just going.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
To Air one.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
They're like, what Era one? It's crazy?
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Yeah, But I really, you know, I really do love
and embrace that like whole let's be as healthy as
we can. But also at the same time, I love
going out for a glass of orange wine and oh
yeah bread and olive oiler. Yeah, I'm like, let's go.
That's what life is, you know. So I think they
actually are both. It's about nourishing just different parts of you.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
I my friend.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
There's so much stuff that I that I have to
ask you, and I want to know You've also got
a new show as well, right.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
I do, Yes, I just did it.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
An Adelaide Fringe and I'll do it at Edin Brothercier.
It's called It's a Shame we Won't be Friends next year,
and I love it and I'm really glad it's good
because I didn't know if it was going to be
just in my Adelaide season and it turns out it's
People really liked it. But it's about this little boy
said to me in year six, it's a shame we
won't be friends next year. And I was like, but
(29:07):
we're going to the same high school and he's like, yeah,
I don't think people will like you in high school.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
And I was like, oh what. So it was like
my first othering, I guess.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
And so from that point I talk about, like, you know,
one that I got this one bad review in London
that was my first bad review and it sent me
into a spin. And I think it was because it
said it's a shame because she's talented, but she's.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Not you know, we don't like the show or whatever.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
And then it reminded me of drama school, of like
my teacher saying it's a shame he's just so talented,
but you just don't have what it takes or whatever,
and I was like, oh, it's I just have this
recurring like shame around the phrase it's a shame, and
I've really held on to it. And so I've reached
out to the reviewer and spoke to her and she
was beautiful. She was so eloquent. And I reached out
(29:50):
to the little boy from year six and he was
amazing as well. He was so kind and and then
the show sort of focuses on the nice things that
people say about us and saying nice things to each other,
because you know, it's so easy to hold onto the negative.
And the person that really built me up and made
me who I am is actually my drama teacher, Peter Cox,
who was the first person to be like, you're you're special.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Good for you, Peter. Yeah, he was a ledge we've
all got to have in a corner.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah we really do.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
Yeah, and like people, you know, we undervalue teachers so much.
But he changed my entire life and every piece of success.
Like I wasn't thank God you're here because at lunchtime
to hide from the bullies, he would let me watch
thank God You'll hear.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
DVD's in the drama room. Like that's why, Like it's
so clear who I am is because of him.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
How fun is that show?
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (30:37):
And he loves the best. It's crazy. It's mad because
they take you. You know, you're backstage and you're sort
of like they might be moving your set. So there's
a bunch of people who like, we'll just sort of
turn you to a wall. You can't see any of
the extras, you can't see any costumes.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
It's quite mad. A lot of people are like, oh,
is it really improvised. I'm like, you can't. I can't
tell you how improvises. You don't.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
You don't even see your own costume really until you
go on. So it's so fast paced and quite mad,
but it's a joy. It's so because.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
That concept for a show has been around forever, hasn't it.
That's like, yeah, back in the day and we're going up. Yeah, Okay,
I don't know if we're allowed to talk about this,
so we can take it out.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
If we're not allowed to ghosts, we're not allowed to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Everything everything I researched. I was like, so we won't
go there. Okay, So if you and I could look
into a crystal ball right now, Okay, you've done so
much stuff, like you love living you've just said it.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
I love moving, I love it, and.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
You write, you act, you sing, like there's this whole
musical theater you know twang which you trained in Ballarat,
right I did?
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah? Yeah I did.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
And I guess I want to know, like, because you
clearly run at everything and you've got so much drive
and tenacity. What if we were chatting in a year
from now, like, what would the dream be like? Do
you know what I mean? Like, oh, and I know
this stuff that you can't talk about.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
I was like, I've just had a dream come true
that I don't even know what. I guess what I
can say is for the first time I've been cast
in something that I get to create the character alongside
the writers and I'll be the first person to play
that character. And I get to play just one character
in the entire because I'm always doing sketch or like
(32:24):
you know, things like that. So that was like my
long term dream and now I really so I really
want to get the TV version of Average Bear up
to be as like that's what I'm really working on,
and I want to be show running that and sort
of the like traditional US way of like just doing that.
(32:48):
And I think that would be. I think that's my dream.
I think that's what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
What is your favorite medium because you cross so many?
Oh my god, it's such a good question.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Listen.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
I think singing is the most important thing to me, so,
like if I sometimes think, because this is an interesting thing,
is I often get like colonoscopies because of my health situation,
but I never get endoscopies because I'm so afraid that
someone will accidentally nick one of my vocal folds, and
it's the only thing that I'm like. I think maybe
(33:19):
I would take being able to sing until I die
rather than more time. I think that might be true.
I don't, and that's quite mad, but it's so important
to me. So I think singing is my favorite thing.
But in terms of acting, I love I love being
on set because you become such a family. But then
I love being in the theater because you're with the
audience and it's so live and like a tennis match.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I think I think doing screen comedy.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
Acting with a lot of heart in it is really
beautiful because you don't have to there's no technical stuff
that you need to do to make sure you're heard.
You can really just play that part because there's a
camera on you and you don't have to get to
the back of five hundred people what you're getting to
the front row.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
So I think maybe that's I think that feels very
pure to me.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
What about you? Can I ask you?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Oh my goodness, well no, it's my dream is like
literally sitcom or drama.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Y okay, amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I love that in an ensemble, yeah, we're playing with
your friends. Yeah, but on set for sure, I love
I love so much fun.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
It is so much fun, even the days along. But like,
I don't know why people complain about it. People bring
you a coffee, they bring you all your food, someone
carries your shoes, they give you a jacket as soon
as they call cut.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
It's like, it's crazy that anyone would ever complain about
their job.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
To be honest, I'll have to get you back on
after you do the dream I really can't talk about
because I love hearing the story of light, especially because
you're having such a your fingerprints going to be on
this character in such a way like you're part of
the writing and all of that. But also like I
love you, like when you get your costume and make
it like how that affects like you becoming this character
(34:56):
because essentially it is a version of you, but like
with all these other the elements that are like so
we'll have to have a part too one day, my
friend will, I couldn't have you on without asking advice
For a young creative, whether it's actor or a singer
or a writer, it can be really daunting, and I
(35:16):
do think like sometimes it can feel like the dream
is so far away and it's too hard, like it's
just out of reach absolutely, And what advice would you
have for a creative that just has a dream but
is a bit scared to go after it?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Okay, I totally understand how you feel. I'm from the country.
Speaker 4 (35:33):
I remember being from the country and just being like,
how would you even begin so specifically if you're from
the country, it's really really hard. But anyone who doesn't
have any contacts, I think, see as much as you can,
see as much as you can. And you're growing up
in a time now where like I mean I'm saying
growing up, but like we're in a time now where
you can make content online, you can make content, and
I would just say, like throw it out into the void,
(35:56):
like especially on TikTok, it's not really going to stick
to you in any real way. Like Instagram feels more
personal for some reason, but TikTok is like just try
your stuff. You don't even have to like share your
stuff with people, you know, but just make stuff. And
if you don't feel comfortable making stuff or you don't
know how, like learn how to make theater with your friends,
(36:16):
find your people. See as much as you possibly can,
and I mean like see as much theater, read as
much as you can, and like a lot of places
will have like if you call like a theater and
be like, hey, could you put me on a list
for if you need seat that bums on seats because
someone's filming something, or you know, and you call like Century.
(36:38):
If you want to get into comedy, you call Century,
or you call Token, Like don't call them, but you
can sign up for their mailing list and you might
get free tickets to somebody's trial show, like if you
can't afford because I know that class is the biggest boundary,
you know, and that's really hard and I face that
when I was young, and I think, you know, there's
ways to sort of get your get your fingers in there,
(37:00):
But just see as much as you can, read as
much as you can. If you want to make films,
go and see theater. If you want to make theater,
go to a concert, like, get as much as you can,
and do get training if you can. If you can't
afford it, prioritize your training. Don't just wait for things
to happen to you. Always ask the question. Always ask, Hey,
I'm trying to do this, can you help me? Like
(37:22):
you'd be surprised by how many people can help you
and how many things I got just by saying can
I have a go? Like I really always my whole
life to put my hand up. I remember like I
started doing comedy because I wanted to do acting and
I couldn't get my I couldn't get an agent, like
I couldn't get my head in the ring. So I
was just like, Okay, I'll do this and then maybe
one day someone will see me, and they did, you know.
(37:43):
And a lot of the time I get cast for
things without auditioning because people have seen me do so
much stuff now and that wouldn't be happening at my
age if I had just been straight up an actor.
But yeah, just have everything, do as much as you
can have your finger in every single pie because you
never know which one's going to get baked.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
And make your own work. I know that's a lot,
but just do it. Don't be afraid of it, don't
be afraid to ask for anything. I got a job once.
I got my first TV full time job was mad
as Hell. Sean mccalves mad as Well, and I.
Speaker 4 (38:12):
Got that specifically because I said to my friend Tom Ballard,
who I wasn't even that close to you at the time.
I was like, you know, I knew him, but he
was like much more famous and successful than me. And
we were in a car by chance because we were
doing this media call for the Comedy Festival, and he
was like, I'm doing this play and I was like,
oh cool, what's the play? And he told me about
the play that he'd written and that there was a
(38:33):
role in it that was like she's a singer, and
I was like, well, Tom, I'm a singer and an actor.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Please put me on your play. He put me in
his play.
Speaker 4 (38:39):
Sean came and that served as my audition for mad
as Hell, and then I'd got into mad as Hell.
But also Sean had seen me doing Auntie Donna sketches
with my friends because we made our own stuff, and
we've made We've had so much success in making our
own stuff. So I think that just the more ways
you can put your hand up and say hey, I'm
here and I'm trying, I think it's really helpful, really good.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
You can only get a no. I mean, don't be annoying,
but like I love, I.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Love, I love what you said, Like put your fingers
in as many parts as you can. One of them
all bake, like exactly, something's gonna I think that we
get really scared when we hyper focus on one thing
and it doesn't work out, and it's like it's not
not all of them are ever going.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
To work out.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
You to me feel fearless, Like I don't think you're
afraid of doing scary things?
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Would you agree? Yes? I think so.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
Well, my biggest fear is dying. So I'm not going
to like jump out of a plane. I'm not gonna
tempt to fase. Yeah, but yeah, I'm not afraid of.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Like if anyone's like, can you ride a horse for
this job, I'm like, yeah, I can ride a horse.
I can't ride a horse, but like I'll learn.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
You figure it out, figure it out along the way,
along the way exactly, like, why not, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
It's fine. And I'm not afraid of failing in front
of an audience, like who cares.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
I feel like that's the gift of being a stand
up though. Yes, I've had a lot of You don't
get to succeed unless you bomb.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
Right, I think so.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
And I also think having theater training, I would say you,
for any comedians, get as much theater training as you can,
because then you will not turn on your audience the
way that you sometimes see comedians turn on the audience.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
And it's really awful. They might be enjoying it, you
don't know.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
They're just enjoying it quietly, and people will just turn
on them and be like, okay, well this worked in
this city and okay, all right, well I'm not even
gonna do that because you hate me and it's like
stop this this was going really well.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
So I think that they all combine, you know, they
all really help.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
Yeah, No, I'm not.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
I'm not afraid of the stage because I had to
learn to walk again, grow up. Also, the audience is
never gonna think about you again. If you bomb like,
they're not gonna be like how embarrassing. They're just gonna
be like, oh, yeah, we saw this girl, she's fine,
Like whatever.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah, how good you've got.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
You've got such a good ability of like getting getting
information and either going yep, great, I'm gonna use that
here or I don't need that, let it go.
Speaker 4 (40:47):
You have to learn to filter things, yeah, filter them
into like a meaningful experience or something that's not going
to help you.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
Don't read your reviews.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, oh my goodness, Michelle, You're an absolute gem of
a human being. I could talk to you all all day, love,
and I really look forward to what comes next for you. Truly,
I am so pumped for you. And yeah, go out there,
keep doing the thing. You're killing it.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,
thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation
on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollerberry.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
This potty my word.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
For podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love
it if you could subscribe, rape and comment, and of
course spread the love.
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