March 29, 2024 • 57 mins
When my father, Ed Lomnicki, joins the conversation, he brings with him a lifetime of stories that unravel the complex threads of addiction and the beauty of redemption. His candid reflections on a youth marked by the allure of a stolen six-pack evolve into a tale of substance abuse that promised false camaraderie, post-graduation lulls, and finding faith in God in order to turn his life around. Yet, it's the laughter we share, the dreams we chase, and the humble admission of our darkest days that truly knit this episode into a tapestry of human resilience.
Transitioning from the shadows to the light, Ed recounts the pivotal moments that reshaped his destiny—moments of legal reckoning that bloomed into spiritual awakenings. His transformation is not a solitary narrative, as we also explore the roles of fellowship programs, the embrace of his faith in God, and the laughter that heals.
Ed recounts the 20 year venture of hosting Christian rock concerts and festivals in the Chicagoland Area, and how running a non-profit took its toll on not only him and his wife, but our entire family as well.
We share not just the narrative of one man's road to sobriety and service, but an invitation to embrace your own narrative, to find wellness, and to live a life unburdened by the chains of yesterday. Join us, and perhaps you'll catch a glimpse of the freedom waiting on the other side of the struggles we all face.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome back to another episode of Feel Free.
The only podcast that'll tellyou to chase your dreams and
call you out on all yourbullshit, myself included, got a
very special episode today.
I'm joined by my father, edLomnicki, here, to talk about
sobriety, chasing your dreamsand inspiration right A little
(00:30):
bit of his backstory, too andovercoming the adversities that
he had to deal with.
So how are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm doing great.
I just want to start off withthis, though I'm proud of you,
man, dad appreciate it, it'sbeautiful.
Uh, so proud of you.
And we're bad, us lomnikiswe're bad with emotions, um, but
you've come a long way from theday I dropped you off at
(01:00):
rosecrans and you told me youwere going to breathe fire down
my throat.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Right, right, right.
Was it Rosecrans or it wasAlexian Brothers?
Well, I think it was.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I think they were in with them, but anyhow, yeah,
you've come a long way,Appreciate that.
Very proud of you.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Thanks.
And well, this is one of themost serious conversations that
we've ever had, to be honest,which is why I was a little
hesitant.
So my dad has been bugging mefor a year now to come on the
podcast, maybe only once a month, once a month.
He's been bugging me once amonth, sometimes twice, for a
year.
Been a little hesitant, though,because some of the topics we
(01:39):
talk about here are pretty deepconversation wise, but you know,
we're here now I got a spacethat can have the in-person
podcast.
I wanted to have you in my beststudio.
It is awesome, love it, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Beautiful job.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So what did you want to talk about today?
I know I had a few questionsabout your upbringing.
What led you to start using,using?
We've had conversations aboutaddiction and overcoming those
emotional and habitualcircumstances.
So my first question to youwould be when did you start
using?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
All right, so I can remember in seventh grade well,
I was going to start using inseventh grade Me and a friend of
mine were out at a bowlingalley not far from the house,
and it was a snowy day, andsomebody left a six-pack of
special export on the side ofthe building, probably to get
(02:37):
cold, and so I said oh boy, lookat this.
We grabbed it, ran home in thesnow, went into the backyard and
hid it in a nice little spot inthe backyard.
One thing we forgot to do,though, was cover our tracks,
Because I told you know, myfriend, come on, you know, it
(02:58):
was a Friday night.
I'm like, come back tomorrownight and you can have three
beers, and I can have threebeers, and we're going to see
what this is all about, you know.
So we walk back there onSaturday night and there's no
beer.
But there's a note there frommy brother, Wally Eddie, if I
(03:18):
ever catch you drinking again,I'll beat your ass.
Okay, big brother, you're onlytwo years older than me.
Now I'm going to rat you outfor stealing my beer, but so,
anyhow, my friend that I waswith had an older brother who
smoked pot, so I don't know.
(03:39):
A couple months later he gavehis brother a joint and you know
we smoked the joint together.
He gave his brother a joint andyou know we smoked the joint
together.
And I was just thinking abouthow, you know, the older
brothers, the older cousins arealways the ones that kind of get
the younger ones started, youknow.
So I think there should be likea bill of like reparations, you
(04:01):
know, Like if you start usingand you have all these problems
in life and you get you have togo to counseling, Well then that
person who started you shouldhave to pay for your counseling
bills.
You think I'm just kidding.
Everybody makes their owndecisions and you know I made my
decision to start, but you know, it is always seems like the
(04:22):
older brother, cousin orsomebody who who starts the ball
rolling, and so that's whathappened.
So I didn't.
I smoked a little, you know,seventh and eighth grade and
then high school though I lovebaseball, so I was a baseball
player, so didn't didn't reallyuse that much going through high
(04:44):
school, kept myself pretty busywith sports and working out and
stuff like that.
But then when I got out of highschool and you know I didn't, I
only took a couple collegecourses for business, but I
didn't.
I started to, you know, focuson my business and get bored and
(05:04):
then I just started smoking,you know, two, three times a
week, and mainly, you know, I'ma marketing guy.
So I always thought to my, Ialways thought I have to get
high to come up with a new idea,a new promotion, a new ad.
And and then you know I was.
I was insecure, insecure and Ijust wanted more friends and
(05:25):
those were my friends who weredoing it, so I would do it with
them and that's basically was mylife for, I don't know, four or
five or six years.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Was it just the pot?
You were obviously likedrinking at the time too.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yes, I, you know, I was never a huge drinker.
Surprisingly, Both of mygrandparents died of cirrhosis
of the liver.
I think it was just because Ihave.
(06:01):
I wasn't.
I didn't know that you weresupposed to mix it with stuff,
so I would drink it straight upand I was like, oh, this is bad,
you know, but I got to drink itbecause I got to get drunk, you
know, but I was.
I was never a big, big drinker,you know.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Was there anything else other than?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well, as I progressed , I got a little.
I got them into some and we'llget into that.
I think when you, when we talkabout how I turn the things
around but yeah, if someoneoffered me coke, I would say,
absolutely, let's do it, right.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
So that was so.
After high school, you starteddabbling with with weed.
You started dabbling with weed,you were business orientated,
and then you obviously startedto snowball into a lot harder
substances other than marijuana.
But did your upbringing with mygrandparents, did it have
(06:57):
anything to do with your boredom, or were you ever you had
stated you were using in orderto get friends right or to feel
accepted by people you know?
So did your family life growingup have anything to do with
your using?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It could have and you know that generation of of
parents.
You know they weren't loveydovey.
You know I, I, I knew my dadloved me but he would never hug
me.
He would never.
I knew my dad loved me but hewould never hug me, he would
never.
You know, say how much you knownever, really never, definitely
affected me, growing up in myinsecurity.
And and plus you know I'm afirstborn too, I want to be the
(07:51):
center of attention, so I wantto have friends, and drugs were
a way to get those friends andkeep them and have fun with them
.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Right, and so when did you realize that you had a
problem Right and so when didyou realize?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
that you had a problem.
Well, my eye-opening experiencewas I was downtown at a club.
I had a couple friends,jordanians, and we went into the
club and one of my friendshanded me a vial with some Coke
(08:24):
in it.
There was only a little left,so I went up into the bathroom
they had an upstairs to thisclub and I did it and a bouncer
outside the bathroom heard mesnorting or whatever I was doing
in there.
So he grabs me when I come outand he said get out of here, I
know what you're doing.
So I walked down the stairs andI go to my friends hey, you
(08:47):
know we got to go, you know,let's go.
So I walk outside and thebouncer follows me and he grabs
me by the back and throws me infront of a female cop and says
here's the guy.
So she pulls out you know theuh, the vial from my pants
pocket, pulls out a joint I hada joint in this pocket and she
(09:07):
goes man, are you stupid?
And I'm like yeah, I guess.
So I didn't know.
Coke was a felony offense, soget thrown in the paddy wagon.
California 26, which isn't your, you know, most easy jail to be
in for a night.
So I'm in there with 30, 35other guys you know, nobody was
(09:30):
going to mess with me becauseeverybody had to go before the
judge the next day but I justthat was my eye opener Like wow,
what am I doing here with theseguys?
And you know, they probablycome from broken homes and bad
opportunities and you know,maybe one parent home, one
parent family.
Here I am.
I got two great parents, abusiness.
(09:54):
My dad's handed to meeverything anything anyone could
think of to have a good life,and I need this in my life to
make me happy.
I need drugs.
I believe there's a hole ineverybody's heart and you try to
fill it, and I was trying tofill it with all that stuff, and
so that's kind of where I mademy foxhole prayer.
(10:16):
I said God because I was bornand raised a Catholic, so I
still had that feeling thatthere was a God.
If you get me out of this, I'llstart reading the Bible, even
though I don't understand it.
I'll go to church, even thoughit's boring.
You know, if you get me out ofthis, you know I'll do it.
So next day I appear before thejudge and he goes.
(10:39):
Mr Larmakey, do you consideryour idea of a good time
powdering your nose in thebathroom of the Eddie Rockets.
I'm like no, I don't your Honor.
He's like well then, get out ofhere.
I never want to see you again.
What?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Kind of lucky yeah totally.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
So.
That's kind of you know wheremy journey to sobriety started.
You know I did start, you know,going to church.
I started reading the Bible andI, you know, realized that,
yeah, the stuff I was doing, andI always thought, you know, I
was going to heaven because Iwas a Catholic, I'm like, I'm
(11:17):
not going there.
There's too many, too manystrikes against me, you know.
So eventually I got led down toa church in Chicago where there
was a guy talking that claimedto be a high priest in a satanic
cult and his life was turnedaround by the Lord and at that
(11:38):
point I said well, man, if youcould save this guy, you could
save me, you know.
So that's really where myjourney began.
And you know, I wrote down acouple of verses.
You know, I have to give you afew on this podcast For sure.
Therefore, if anyone's inChrist, he's a new creation.
The old has gone, the new hascome.
It was a miracle, you know, andanyone who comes to faith, I
(12:01):
believe it's a miracle.
But I'm not saying that afterthat moment, I still didn't use.
I mean, I would still behanging out with some of my
friends and they'd say come on,just one.
What's one joint going to do?
You know, after I did it I waslike man, this sucks, I don't
like this.
This isn't really who I am.
You know so less and less, andyou know more and more of other
(12:24):
things.
So this verse really struck mefrom Psalm 103.
It's from David Praise the Lord, o my soul, for getting out all
his benefits, who forgives allyour sins, heals all your
diseases, who redeems your lifefrom the pit and crowns you with
love and compassion, whosatisfies your desires with good
(12:48):
things so that your youth isrenewed like the eagle.
And it was just amazing howyour mind is set to believe that
you need these vices to makeyou happy.
And once you make the decisionto stop, it's unbelievable how
many good things you realizedyou missed in life.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
You know, by using Well, it's having a purpose and
also having a faith in somethingbigger than yourself.
Yeah, right, and they teachthat a lot in Narcotics
Anonymous and AlcoholicsAnonymous, and even with my
therapist and mentor, who helpedme get sober, having an idea of
(13:34):
who I am without the drugs.
Right Was what helped me andkept me going, and to have
something to believe in likethat, like you said, you don't
need those things in order to bewho you are Right, right, so,
and for you, it is a faith inGod and a religion that brought
(13:58):
you to a healthier place is afaith in God and a religion that
brought you to a healthierplace.
You're able to start multiplebusinesses, have a family, a
loving family, and chasemultiple dreams also.
We do give you shit for notdoing abs or legs at the gym,
you know.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
That's why I just want the upper part.
Let's crop it right here.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, well, I mean, you still have the determination
to have a healthy body, healthyrelationships with the people
around you.
So I do.
I am a firm believer thateverything does happen for a
reason, and the pits that youwere in at the moment helped you
realize that.
You know that wasn't the lifeyou really wanted to live, which
(14:47):
is tough to do, becausesometimes we get signs from the
universe, or signs from a Godtelling us of the things we need
to change, and then we don'tlisten to them.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Right, yep, and it's tough admitting that we were
wrong Right, but you're onlyever going to learn about life
if you admit that you're wrongRight.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Mistakes.
Yeah, we're all going to makethem Right.
You got to learn from them.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Having a, you know, a sense of forgiveness, not for
the people that have wronged usfor a while.
I bet you were probably mad atyour friends for leading you
down a certain path.
I mean, you had takenresponsibility for your actions
but at the same time you werelike kind of frustrated at even
putting yourself in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Yeah, I was.
But yet I realized who I was atthe time and the acceptance I
was looking for from them.
And then, when my life changed,it was like, wow, what happened
to Ed Hug me doesn't want tohave fun with us anymore, you
know.
But but you know, and then someof them were like, okay, this
(15:54):
looks genuine.
You know, let me talk to himabout it.
And those are the friends thatyou keep, and you know me talk
to him about it.
And and those are the friendsthat you keep and you know you
love right that have stayed withyou through it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, you know, and there are people in your life
that don't stick around afterthose times, but you wish them
the best absolutely my mom.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Doors always open for them, and when they're going
through their troubles andtrials, you know Of course, I've
got people in my life like thatas well, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
So after turning your life around, you wanted to come
here and talk about alsoinspiration or just dreams in
general.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So I had some big dreams after I changed my life
around.
All my life I loved music, allkinds of music.
I loved rock, I loved rap,alternative I could say.
The only thing I wasn't crazyabout was country, which is nuts
, because now I like country,but all kinds of music, I loved
it.
And you know, when I got saved,my friend handed me a little
(16:58):
cassette because it was 30 yearsago of a Christian band I don't
know, petra or Mylon something,and you know I'm listening to
it.
I'm like, wow, this is awesome,this is good for my mind and my
heart and I like the beat.
So you know, I just went justhead over heels into all kinds
of Christian music.
And then this friend of minewanted to open up a coffee house
(17:19):
and started having concerts andI'm like, oh, I'm in, where are
we going to do it?
Well, I want to find somethingin Elmhurst.
I'm like perfect, ends upfinding a place, way the heck
out in Aurora, an old Masonicbuilding.
So you know, I'm driving outthere and he basically put me in
charge of finding the bands andbooking them, which was pretty
cool, because I had no vestedmoney skin in the game.
(17:42):
So I was like, yeah, let'sbring these guys out, let's
bring these guys out.
Well, six months later you knowit was the scene, was still
young, a lot of people wouldn'tcome to these things and he just
ended up losing money, had toclose.
There was one group of kids, ayouth group, that would come to
a lot of our events and it wouldjust be them, those 12 or 13 or
(18:04):
14 kids.
So the leader of that group hisname was Dan, and he said let's
have one more show for the kids.
We'll do it at my church inElgin.
And him and I were bothmetalhead headbangers.
So we were like let's bring outSix Feet Deep, precious Death,
mortal.
Let's have a banger concert.
(18:25):
And it should be done.
That was.
We called it Hardcore 94.
It was October of 94.
You, my friend, were about ayear and a half old at the time,
john, so I think we left you athome.
Mom came and ran the door andso all these kids are walking up
(18:46):
mohawks, tats, piercings, baggyclothes.
I mean, judging a book by itscover, mary's like are are we?
You know how mom is?
Are we safe here?
What could happen to us?
You know, so these kids arecoming in and it was an old, old
(19:06):
Baptist church.
We pulled all the pews out ofthe main floor so the kids could
stand and jump around.
And it's cool because the groupMortal the guy in Mortal,
jerome, is now the leadguitarist for Switchfoot, so his
life has gone up.
Awesome band Switchfoot.
So anyhow end of the night, thekids are jumping up and down,
(19:29):
arms raised, praising God, andDan and I said we got to keep
doing this.
So that's where EDAN was bornand that was my dream and that
was my life to do these concerts.
It got bigger and bigger andbigger.
We ended up doing a festival atAlexian Field in Schaumburg.
You were there, a lot of themSkillet, pod, mercy, me, casting
(19:55):
Crowns every band you couldthink of we brought out to those
festivals and had a blast.
The Casting Crowns every bandyou could think of we brought
out to those festivals and had ablast.
Things were going great until2011 when we got a call from the
owner of the Flyers that he wasbeing evicted by the city of
Schaumburg.
He was a million dollars due onhis back rent.
So we're like, wow, what do wedo now?
(20:16):
He said, don't worry, I'mmaking a new stadium out in Zion
and Kevin Costner is my partner, you know, and he's going to.
We're going to build a stage incenter field, we're going to
have jumbotrons, everything wealways dreamed of having at our
fest.
And then he said and I'm onlygoing to charge you a dollar a
ticket.
I'm like, oh, this is beautiful.
I'm going to do three nights.
(20:37):
So we did three nights out inZion 2011.
I had a great lineup.
We did have Switchfoot, we hadSkillet, we had Striper Reunion,
newsboys, so it was a greatlineup.
3,000 people show up the wholeweekend.
We lose $150,000.
(20:58):
And I was so distraught anddisappointed I told mom, I told
your mom, I'm like, yeah, we're,we're done, we gotta, we gotta
throw the towel in, you know.
And she's like, oh, no, we'regonna be okay, we're gonna do
shows in the fall and we'regonna, we're gonna pay all these
people back, like, okay, I'llgo with you.
So we ended up, yeah, payingeverybody back, but one band who
(21:21):
wouldn't take a reduction intheir honorarium.
And now they didn't getanything Everybody else got paid
.
So then the following year,schaumburg calls us the old
stadium, their new team.
The Boomers are like come onout, we want you to bring Ignite
back.
And they made a lot of money onconcessions and parking so it
was a cash cow for them.
So we're like great, let'sbring it back to where we think
(21:43):
we'll have success.
This is where we had it foreight, seven or eight years.
People will come back.
It's in the bullet of where allof our fan base is.
And we put together a fantasticlineup.
We had Casting Crowns, mercy,me two of the biggest artists in
the industry on the same night.
I think we had to flip a cointo see who would go up first,
(22:03):
because even though you're aChristian, you still have a big
ego and they did so.
The next night we had Toby Mac,jeremy, camp and Lecrae and all
other great artists.
Another 3,000 people showed upfor the two days and lost our
booties again over 100, maybe150.
(22:23):
So that was a tough pill toswallow.
We tried to reach out to thebands we still owe money to.
We've been working with themfor almost 15 or 20 years, some
of them.
Some of them we started in thisarea, so we helped birth them
to what they became and we justsaid, hey, you know, let us
bring you out.
(22:44):
We have relationships withchurches all over Chicago.
You come out, we'll take zeromoney, give you all the money
until we pay you back.
They said no.
Nashville said until you paythe bands off, you can't do
concerts anymore.
So that hurt, that hurt momreal bad, because mom was the
one who ran these shows andhospitality, fed these bands
(23:06):
like Kings and Queens and shewas very disappointed, went into
depression for I would sayabout six months.
She just was shot.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You know it's tough because you guys were putting on
these shows.
I think it was tough for herbecause you guys were doing the
concerts for man 15 years, 15,20 years and then you guys
became a nonprofit.
You, after doing successfulfestivals and concerts, turned
it into a really big operationBig, and I think it was a tough
(23:39):
pill to swallow because it was abusiness still and you guys
were promoting Christian music,christian values, and then to
have that happen it would suckbecause you forgot that it was
still a business though, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And that was the fine line we had to always try to
straddle.
You know, is is we're.
You know we're doing somethinggood for God, but yet we got to
pay our bills and, um, you know,when our focus became more on
the money and more on on thataspect, that's when things
started to go down and ourdecision started to not be wise,
(24:18):
and that's why he took it away.
But it took me a while to getover it.
I was sending, you know,spreadsheets out to a lot of the
bands I owed money to.
Hey, I'll make you 50% owner ofthe festival, you know, with
the money you owe me.
A couple of them were almostready to do it, but it didn't
(24:40):
work out, and so that chapterwas closed in my life.
And so where do you go fromhere?
You know, this was a passion Ihad for 20 years and this is
what I really almost wanted todo for the rest of my life, and
it was taken away, butfortunately I still had a
business a out the way theyshould, I believe.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I mean, if you had the opportunity to do it,
obviously you would probably runconcerts.
You know it's a lot of work,though it is and it put a lot of
stress on mom and our marriage.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yep, we ran you guys around crazy during those times
too.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, I mean you're trying to raise like four kids
while you're essentially runningtwo businesses.
Yeah, it was.
You know that's a lot to handleand you know all the sports
that all the kids were in aswell, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
That was our sanity.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, it was pretty hectic for probably a decade,
I'd say for sure, oh yeah.
But now the Tucks Place isdoing well, that's for sure.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Excellent, it actually, covid, actually helped
you guys out, helped us a lot,got rid of some bad competitors.
There's not many of us left no,which is great.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
So the concert thing and I think it's interesting
because still some of myfavorite music is still two
bands that I am salty that youguys never got because they were
a little too heavy yeah, wecouldn't go into that heavy
realm it was.
It was uh our eardrums, whichwas, uh, the two bands that and
(26:39):
Justin had got me on as wellwhich were the Devil Wears Prada
, who's still touring today and,as they Lay, dying as well.
So those are my two favorite,but unfortunately I wasn't able
to see them live, which is allright.
I still was able to see whatPOD and Skillet a few times,
Five Iron Frenzy.
So I'm very thankful for youbringing me to shows my whole
(27:01):
life and, I don don't know,maybe bringing me there when I
was one actually gave me therhythm that I have today.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
You know, I mean, joe doesn't have any rhythm, he
really doesn't.
He didn't get any of that, butit has helped me.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
My connection to music has helped me with my
connection to poetry, myconnection to being artistic.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
So I am always forever grateful for that
upbringing in concerts, althoughif it was very stressful on the
family you know it was, andthere was one artist in
particular that when you weregoing through some of your
struggles that I think took youaside and gave you some advice
john cooper, the coop fromskillet good guy good guy.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So how old was I when you did that?
Though you were in 14, 15, 16,maybe yeah, I mean I was in high
school at the time yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you know, still struggling with your identity
and you know, fitting in right.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Well, that's one thing I mean like, like you had
said earlier, when you weredoing these substances because
you wanted to fit in, becauseyou wanted to have friends.
You know, even in high school,when I wasn't using too much, I
started smoking cigarettes and Iwas drinking occasionally like
a jock would.
(28:17):
Essentially, I did not likesmoking weed in high school
because I was too paranoid aboutgetting caught by you and mom.
Excellent, yeah, I mean at thetime but you know, when I went
off to college it was adifferent story, though A few
hours away I can't say that Iwas trying to fit in in high
school with the using.
I did have a enigma that Ilived by at college, though, for
(28:41):
the Chicago John.
Chicago, john by at college,though, for the the chicago john
, chicago john persona.
That, uh, you know I was tryingto fit in, you know, and
whenever you're trying to fit inat the expense of your own
authenticity, it usually ends indestruction.
Yes, and definitely.
It was a learning experience forme, for sure, coming up on, I
(29:01):
think, five years sober you hadto fall down a few times a few.
Yeah, I mean a few.
Yeah, just to say the least,face plants a few times yeah I'd
face plant and then I'd dig ahole and hide in.
It really is what I did.
You know, I even fall to tothis day still, but as long as
my sobriety stays, you knowthat's.
(29:22):
It's not even a thought in myhead anymore of whether I'm
going to be sober or not,because it's totally changed my
life.
I know you're still able tooccasionally have a beer, you
know, or you like having a glassof wine, you know.
Yeah, I'll never get to thatpoint.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
And see, that was never my.
Where I got in trouble, it waswith marijuana and pot.
So I'll never smoke pot again,right, see?
So that's kind of the thing isthat I saw that destruction and
how that affected my life andthen, when you guys were
starting to go through it,that's what drove me insane.
It wasn't the drinking, becausedrinking never had a hold of me
(29:58):
, which I you know is stupidbecause it can get a hold of you
.
But I was okay with you guysdrinking.
But when it came to smoking pot, I was like I hate this,
absolutely, not Right, and wewould have arguments about that
and I didn't even I didn't evenhave the biggest problem with
marijuana because, like I said,that one was easier for me to
(30:20):
quit when I had quit everything.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
The final time I had used marijuana for a month in
order to get off of the cocaineand the alcohol, because the
withdrawals from that wereabsolutely insane.
You know, the withdrawals fromweed is just like, okay, you're
a little more irritable andbored, I would say, but it
wasn't.
You know, it was easier for meto get rid of the weed because
(30:45):
it made me want to play videogames and eat burritos and not
work out.
So that one was easy for me toget rid of.
It was the like you had saidyou weren't too frustrated with
us when we were drinking Right,and it's socially acceptable in
society, true, to drink right.
So what I had figured out islike okay, everybody was mad at
me when I was smoking weed.
(31:06):
It was the hard drugs that hadreally caused my psychosis
between the ages of 19 and 21.
Like, the marijuana definitelyhad played a role, but it was
more like a cherry on top of aconcoction that I had brewed
with a bunch of other chemicals,right.
And then I realized I'm likeokay, well, that chapter of my
life is over, right, but peopledon't bat an eye if I have beer
(31:31):
or if I drink and get drunk onthe weekends or like, oh, he's
fine, he's going to school andgoing to work, right, so it's,
it's totally fine, society'sfine with that.
But that is actually what hadme spiral the second time
between the ages of 24 and 26.
And I was fighting with thisidentity like, oh, society tells
me it's okay, I can drink, andthen deep down inside I'm like I
(31:52):
can't do anything, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
So I had to yeah, I just had to give everything up
at that point.
And I know Joe struggled a lotwith the booze too, definitely.
Yeah, he struggled a lot withthe weed too, but he nipped that
in the butt when he was youngertoo, like in his early 20s,
yeah.
And then he probably did thesame thing that I did and he
(32:16):
goes oh well, people don't careif we drink, he would drink a
lot, he would drink a fuck tonactually yeah you know you would
drink a lot.
You would drink a fun timeactually, yeah, but I mean what
joe and I have done now thatwe've embraced our sobriety is
just insane.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, awesome, yeah, he's training.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So what else did you want to talk about?
We touched a little bit on yourpast.
Um, I did want to ask anotherquestion from your upbringing,
though.
Like yeah, you had dealt withyour father's anger and his
diabetes.
He was a smoker, smoked like achimney Three packs a day for 20
years.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
It's insane.
And the funny thing about thatis me and my brother, wally
Techie, we hate smoking.
I tried it once and I hated itbecause we would go on trips
across the country.
He'd be smoking chain smokingin the car and we're like, oh,
this is terrible, this isterrible.
(33:12):
So I told your mom when, whenyou guys were both in your
smoking habits, I'm like, yeah,we blew it.
We should have lit upcigarettes the whole way to
Arizona, california, wherever wewent.
The kids would have hated it.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
But I don't know and it's odd because it's the same
thing with mom and her sistersas well, because of pa and non,
none of them smoke yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, so it's like the generation.
It almost skips a generationbecause the kids hate it.
Right, right, right right.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah, I still have a soft spot for tobacco, but I'm
going to be researching betterways to make it more how do I
say ceremonial?
You know the way they marketcigarettes and shit like that
and the chemicals they put intoit.
You know Tobacco has beenaround for thousands of years.
It is addictive, though.
I do think there's a proper wayto have good habits.
(34:09):
Sometimes, as you know, it'svery easy to slam ice cream or
cookies and shit like that.
It's very hard for people likeus, who are 0 to 100, in order
to ease up on the throttle.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
We're both that way.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, I've.
I've gotten better at dealingwith that with my video games
and the ice cream and stuff, soI'm hoping that in the future I
can do the same thing for thetobacco but Well, when you have
your first kid, you're going towant to have a cigar, probably.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I think, I think, when, I when I.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I have another book I think that's another
accomplishment, that is yeah, Ialso told lisa when, when we get
a house too, like might do itthen you know that is, that is a
good time to do that right, uh,I wanted to ask about.
I was going to ask, like,growing up, what were your
dreams?
Because you talked about yourdreams when your life had
changed.
Right, what were the dreamsgrowing up?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
though well, they were sports oriented.
I I, you know I love baseball.
Um, seven years old, I wasrunning home from school to
catch the chicago cubs the lastfew innings, because their game
started at one, I'd get off atthree, I'd catch the last few
innings.
My favorite players BillyWilliams, ernie Banks, ron Sano,
(35:26):
don Kessinger and so I became ahuge Cub fan.
And then, you know that wasgrowing up.
I mean, we didn't have videogames and I grew up on a great
block.
All we did was play wiffle ball, you know, most of the day long
, and other sports, and it was agreat blocking community to
grow up on.
(35:46):
So every kid dreams of gettingto the bigs.
You know I had a decent run atyork, um, but you know that that
ended when I realized Icouldn't throw the ball over,
you know, 80 miles an hour.
So but yeah, I mean baseballwas, was part of part of my
(36:06):
dreams and you know, and thenit's just really just growing up
in the family business, justrealizing that one day, how how
do we make this better than itis now?
You know, so that was always adream too, right.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Do you got any changes to your dreams now?
Are your dreams just retiringand then fishing?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Well, you and Joe and Catherine are getting in the
way of my dreams right now Ican't say gee, because she's too
young, but I would love to havea grandkid and take them
fishing and throw and play,catch with them and you know all
that good stuff.
But no, yeah, I love fishing,going out there and just so
peaceful out on some of theselakes and we're catching release
(36:53):
, so we don't keep them, we justhave fun catching them and
that's a blast.
Camping with your mother, youknow, on our fifth wheel we have
a blast just going out on theweekends and long trips down to
Florida and wherever else.
You know the Lord takes us, sothat's an awesome dream to one
day just be able to do that.
(37:13):
As you know, I just got backfrom my very first mission trip.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Yeah, I was going to ask about that.
So this is your first missiontrip ever right, ever
Eye-opening experience, I assume.
Yeah, I was going to ask aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So this is your first mission trip ever right, Ever
Eye-opening experience I assumeYou're going to do it again,
that part of my dreams Nice, I'mgoing to do it again and take
more people with me.
And so I did have a verse frommy mission trip that really
stuck in my heart 1 Corinthians1,.
It says praise be to the Godand Father of our Lord, jesus
Christ, the Father of compassionand the God of all comfort, who
(37:49):
comforts us in all of ourtroubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with thecomfort we ourselves have
received from God.
And this ties into you too.
You've had people throughoutyour life your counselors, us
(38:12):
friends who have been ableyou've been able to come to and
seek comfort from through thetroubles that you're going
through, and totally proud ofyou for that.
So, going down to Honduras, in1990, hurricane Mitch hit
Honduras.
The whole country wasunderwater, whole country,
(38:35):
15,000 people died.
This organization, all God'sChildren, that I went down with,
was one of the firstorganizations down there that
set up orphanages.
They had tons of kids, noparents, so they set up some
orphanages.
How long has it been?
30 years later, I go down there.
These orphans that were helpedfrom this ministry I went down
(38:58):
with are now like key figuresaround the cities helping kids
that are, you know, lessfortunate, the least of these,
and it was just great to see andjust understand how humanity is
okay, I mean when you let youknow the love of God flow
(39:20):
through you to help other peopleout.
It's awesome to see, and that Iwent down there thinking, okay,
I'm going to bless these peoplewith myself, you know, and my
good humor, and I came back justtotally blessed by them.
I mean, from what they aredoing down there and the little
kids living in the worstconditions coming up to you and
(39:42):
hugging you, and then theirteachers, you know, in these
little schools praying over us.
That went down there.
We don't need prayer Pray forthese kids, you know.
But it's just unbelievable howyou know, the less you have, the
more reliant you are on yourfaith and God have, the more
reliant you are on your faithand God, and the more you have,
(40:05):
it's like, ah, I'm doing good bymyself, I don't really need
anything, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
So it's like a perspective, though, because
they're able to be and we werejust talking about this on
another episode how importantgratitude is.
To be grateful, you know,because once you start having
more than you may need, then youstart taking things for granted
, right, and it was probably achange in perspective.
Like you said, you thought youwere going down there to bless
them, yeah, and you experience,and instead blessed you, right.
(40:35):
You know, these kids and thesefamilies have way less than you
and they're praying for you.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Maybe praying for you , so you realize that you got a
lot more to be thankful for thanyou think you know, which
that's a great experience,honestly.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yeah, one of my friends hit me back because I
sent stories each day and hesaid, yeah, our first world
problems, you know, are nothingcompared to the third world and
what they have to go throughdown there.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You made my coffee wrong.
You cut me off in the street.
You know, care is trivial shitRight it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Are you going to take mom with next time she says she
won't go?
No, she doesn't.
She's not an out of countrykind of gal.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
She's not an out of country gal, but who knows, I
could work in her heart too.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Right, I think there's other ways that she
could do service work like that.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, there's all places where you can serve.
The thing about down there isthat your dollar goes way
farther because $1 is 24 oftheir dollars.
So when you give to theseorganizations, that money can go
so far into helping thesepeople.
Plus, they don't haveopportunities at all that we
(41:49):
have here.
I know there's some tough areashere in this country.
There is a government that willhelp these people.
Sometimes Down there you're onyour own.
It's all you against the world,pretty much.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I think spreading that love, compassion is how you
can start affecting the world,right?
Instead of we're always justkind of worried about ourselves
over here in America, you know,and it's easy to turn on the
television or our phone screensand just see everybody fighting
(42:23):
each other, disagreeing witheach other, new things to buy,
buy, buy, all of this crap goingon, and then we totally forget
that we're supposed to be in ittogether, right?
But we don't realize that.
I mean, even aside fromreligion or even aside from
politics, aside from everything,we're humans.
(42:45):
It doesn't matter about skincolor or anything like that.
We're supposed to find a reasonto love each other and we
forget that.
So I think the rise oftechnology I talk about it a lot
on the podcast and how it isessentially dividing us.
It makes us feel like we'remore connected, but it divides
(43:06):
us, right.
I think being able to use itproperly will allow us to love
more, right, right, we just needto learn how to use it properly
.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
This is a good start right here, right Over here, on
the Feel Free Podcast.
Yeah, yeah, this is a goodstart right here, right Over
here, on the Feel Free Podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Yeah, yeah, I just had.
I have my buddy Brandon come onregularly and he does service
work.
I think he helps out at a foodpantry once a week.
Nice, yeah, I was going to lookinto some options around here as
well.
And it's funny that youmentioned the Honduras trip
because originally I startedgoing to NA because I thought
(43:44):
there's probably somebody therethat I can help.
I'm coming up on five yearssober.
I want to help other addictsout like that and I get there
and I've realized the last twomonths that they're actually
helping me.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
How about that change ?
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, I haven't worked the uh, the 12 step, like
the way the book has done it.
My mentors helped me in a in adifferent way.
So, I not sure if I'm able tobe a sponsor in the NA sense, so
I'm, I'm really just going forfor me, first because it's good
for me as a recovering addict tolisten to other addicts,
(44:24):
definitely, and then, from whatpeople have told me there, they
really appreciate my perspectiveon it too.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
so, yeah, service work is, is very wholesome you
know, and I, like you said, itgets you out of yourself and
into helping others and and andit just comes right back into
you.
It's like it bounces off youwhen you help someone else and
blesses you.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's just the way it works right, I mean over here in
america very uh fast-pacedconsumer consumerism
capitalistic.
Gotta get yours, gotta havebusiness money, money, money,
things, money, things, things,things.
Money, money money, you know,and that's when we lose sight of
, you know, just being ourselvesand doing good things, you know
(45:09):
, right on.
So it's a lot of the stuff wetalk about here.
On the old feel free podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So yeah, I've been working out, as you know.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
I was going to ask that too.
Yep, I was going to ask thattoo.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yep, I had my little weight set in the backyard and
you built a nice enclosure forme so I wouldn't get wet doing
it.
Just had one bench free weightscurl bar.
So that was doing okay for awhile, until it got super cold
out in January.
And so then we went on thecruise and I hit the club there
(45:48):
like three times every other dayand I'm like, wow, this, this
really is cool, these machinesand I could get my workout done
better.
I could, I could work out morebody parts, and so when I got
back I joined LA and I've beengoing pretty consistently for I
don't know, about a month now.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Right, I mean, aside from the Honduras trip, you've
pretty much been at the gym.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
You've seen me there.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
I know I have seen you there.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Joe said.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
He said you came home one night and he goes yeah, I
saw John at the gym.
My own son won't even work outwith me.
I tell, and I was telling Ithink I was telling Chris that
too and then I don't go to thegym, I don't.
I don't work out with peoplethough, especially like you do,
a heavy chest day.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
I do a heavy chest.
Yeah, really heavy chest, heavyarms, cause that's all that
really matters in life.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
So, but you're consistent though, and you're
even doing the elliptical, I amdoing the elliptical on the
other nights.
Yeah, I am doing some cardioand the ab machine too.
I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
I do cardio and abs the same day.
Wow, yeah, that's one of mygoals and dreams is to actually
see my abs one day again, reallylike when I was 17 years old
and I had abs, I think you can.
They're in there.
I mean, what about your buddySteve?
Look at him.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Yeah, he's, he's killing it, he's killing it.
I mean, they don't.
They don't eat like pasta orbread anymore, though.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Well, that's not fun way to live your life guys, but
Joe's helped them too with someof his eating advice.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Right.
Well, yeah, steve was askingJoe one time.
He goes what do you eat?
He's like meat.
He goes yeah, joe's like yeah,I just eat like meat and fruit.
Meat, fruit and honey.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
And then Steve's like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (47:36):
And then he started doing it and we see him at what
is it?
Labor Day weekend, he goes.
I feel fucking great Nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
It's good.
And those two guys, they run,and he runs a lot.
Is he running again now?
He does the Peloton too.
He does the Peloton yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
So what I had mentioned on another podcast.
I don't know if you know this,but I rolled my ankle yesterday.
Pretty bad again.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yep, I'll probably be out for three, four weeks so
you need me to fill in for youon the basketball court, I mean
sure, If you want to go up thereyou're at the same gym.
I don't know if they're readyfor my sky hook?
Speaker 1 (48:16):
I don't think so.
Yeah, lisa was telling meyesterday she goes because I was
getting.
I get down when I get injuredand she goes.
Every time you get injured youjust stop completely, I do, I
just I don't do anything.
I don't do, I don't go to thegym, I get hurt and I get all
depressed about it.
So Today later I'm going to gohome and I'm going to plan out
(48:40):
my weeks accordingly, like mydays, and I'm going to tailor a
workout plan that is doableright now.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Well, I think it's really a good time to start
working on your chest and arms.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, but the problem is it fucks up the shot buddy.
Then I start throwing bricksKeep stretching, yeah, but if
you don't, you have to work outand shoot in tandem, right?
If I put on too much muscle,though, I start chucking bricks,
buddy, yeah, but you're gettingmore rebounds.
I get a lot of rebounds.
That's how this happened.
Yeah, yeah, I out-rebound thebigs at the gym, and you rolled
(49:15):
it.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
That's a bummer.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Yeah, yeah, god, it fucking hurt.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
Got to tape it up.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, I got a brace on it.
Now Lisa's telling me I got toice it too.
But staying consistent withthat, but also adapting, like I
won't be able to use thestationary bike as much as I
have been, or I'll be able to doquad workouts because it helps
my knee, doing the leg extensionmachine you know the one where
you're sitting like this, andthen there's a bar here.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Yeah, machine, you know the one where you're
sitting, like this, and thenthere's a bar here?
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Yeah, that you can never get on because they only
have one.
They got two.
Well, one, I don't like the one.
Ah, the weird yeah, there's aweird one Like lifts you up when
you do it, yeah, yeah, I don'tlike that.
Yeah, I don't like it.
But doing that workout with lowweight and then, instead of
using both feet, so if yourright knee is bad, then I always
just put a low weight on andI'll use one knee to do that.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I've seen people doing that.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, and honestly it's helped with my knee pain
immensely.
But yeah, being able to changeup and adapt, that's my next
goal.
So I don't fucking go scorchedearth and play video games and
eat ice cream because I'm sad Irolled my ankle.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, Don't go down that path.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Nah, so what other?
You got pet peeves at the gym,is what you said.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
So I've been working out since I was maybe 12 years
old, up in my bedroom just withfree weights, and so my whole
thing is you know, if you'regoing to work out, have some
form, you know, do it the rightway, you know, or you're wasting
your time, you know.
So the other day I see a ladyon the lat pull-down machine.
She's standing up and she'sjust swinging it back and forth.
(50:46):
I'm like what is that?
What are you doing?
Just go to the playground andswing on the swing or go down
the slide.
You're not working out on themachine like that.
Then you've got guys that areon the same machine and they're
laying down and they're just,you know, they're pulling
themselves up while they pullthe weight down.
I'm like what are you doing?
(51:08):
That's not how you do it.
Man who taught you how to do?
that they just don't know,though they don't know.
And then you know you got theguys who go in the aerobics room
and I'm like come on, what areyou doing in the aerobics room?
Why are you all in the back row?
You know you're not there towork out.
You're there to you know.
(51:30):
See the show.
The instructors go.
Okay, guys, all the guys, comeon up to the front.
See you later.
I got to work out.
They're in there for the wrongreasons.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
I think we were just talking to Edgar about how the
gym sometimes it's like a zoo interms of, like the pheromones
and humans and people,eye-goggling people, you know.
So that's why I like justputting my headphones in, Like
I'm here, Got to get in, get out, do my workout.
You know I'm not here for anyof the other bullshit.
(52:04):
You know other things that suckis people that just take too
damn long.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
Oh my gosh.
So I have like one machine Ifinish up with.
It's um, you know the, thetricep machine, and you know,
okay, let me.
I hope nobody's on there.
Oh, there's a guy on there onhis phone sitting on the machine
for like 10 or 15 minutes.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
It's like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Go If you're done for the day, or go in the locker
room.
Don't sit on a machine for 10or 15 minutes on your phone,
right, that's that drives menuts.
What a jag, yeah, yeah.
So then I was there, I don'tknow, a couple weeks ago, and I
told you the story because youguys were like you do the same
workout every time and you knowyou don't diversify.
(52:47):
And so I'm on the bench with mycurls.
I do three sets of, you know,42, 45-pound curls like this.
I go straight up and I twist,so I'm doing them and there's
this guy on the bench next to me.
He's pretty jacked and he looksover.
(53:08):
He's like hey, how long youbeen, you know how long you been
working out for?
And I just, you know, I juststarted up again, you know.
But for a while he's like man,you got about the best form I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yeah, I bet your ego really needed that.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I don't think I could .
I tried to get out the door.
My head was about this big.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
It is good that you finally see the pros of going to
the gym.
You're able to work out moremuscle groups for sure.
Yeah feels good.
It's a nice routine too, andyou hold yourself accountable to
um.
You are able to work outdifferent muscle groups.
So we do give you shit about,you know, doing the same three
(53:54):
or four workouts in the dog runright and then, but I'm hitting
some groups, man, I'm hittingsome groups, yeah, consistently
right, I think.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I think that's all that really matters is the uh,
consistent Right.
And then, but I'm hitting somegroups, man, I'm hitting some
groups, yeah, consistently.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
Right, I think that's .
All that really matters is theconsistency.
So what else do you have to sayfor the listeners out there
Anything about if somebody'sstruggling with thinking they
need to change how to make thosechanges, they need to change
(54:24):
how to make those changes.
Or what would you do if youwanted to chase your dream but
you knew that there were?
Speaker 2 (54:26):
things getting in the way of that?
Wow, that's a really goodquestion.
Well, it's real important toclear your mind, you know, and
when you're, when you're puttingsubstances, and and and and
addictions are in the way ofthat, you can't think or see
clearly.
So you don't have any visionfor the future and for your life
(54:49):
.
So, you know, if you're able toget sober and get rid of the
things that are clouding up yourmind, then that's, I think
that's the first step and justbeing obviously being around
people, like-minded people.
You know, we always told you,growing up, bad company corrupts
good morals, you know, and ifyou, if you are hanging out with
(55:11):
people, I mean that's why it'sso important that, as Christians
, we go to church every week,because you're around
like-minded people that you knowbelieve the same things you do
and care about you.
So being around people like,like minded, positive influences
in your life is a great way to,you know, overcome anything and
(55:33):
strive for your dreams.
I love the.
There's a verse that says asiron sharpens iron, so one man
sharpens another, and if you canget around, you know people
that can sharpen you.
That's, that's awesome, right?
That's what life's all about.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Nice and I do have to ask this other question because
Edgar has been bugging me tostart asking this question on
the podcast.
Okay, what do you do?
That helps you feel free?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Okay, what do you do that helps you feel free?
Oh, wow, what do I do thathelps me feel free?
Okay, Well, I try to start my.
I try to start my morning inthe word, which I believe gives
me a clear mind and directionfor my day, and I do pray.
So.
Solitude is so hard in thissociety.
Your brain goes a million milesan hour about what you're going
(56:20):
to do for the day.
You know, but if you could justsit there for even five minutes
and just meditate and ponder onlife and God and love, it's a
great way to start your day off.
You know, and keeping your bodyin shape and exercising and
(56:43):
eating the right things.
That's another awesome way tofeel free.
You know, just, you don't wantto be a slave to anything, and
that's what freedom is all about.
Breaking the chains that's agood answer, yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:56):
Well, I think we've had a pretty good conversation.
Speaker 2 (56:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Right, it's been a lot of fun.
Absolutely Appreciate youcoming by Dad.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Thanks man, super proud of you.
Thanks Dad.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
Well, you heard it Meditate on that.
Have a good rest of your day.
Thanks for coming by.
And you know the drill Stay up,feel free, you.
Welcome back to another episode of Feel Free.
The only podcast that'll tellyou to chase your dreams and
call you out on all yourbullshit, myself included, got a
very special episode today.
I'm joined by my father, edLomnicki, here, to talk about
sobriety, chasing your dreamsand inspiration right A little
(00:30):
bit of his backstory, too andovercoming the adversities that
he had to deal with.
So how are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm doing great.
I just want to start off withthis, though I'm proud of you,
man, dad appreciate it, it'sbeautiful.
Uh, so proud of you.
And we're bad, us lomnikiswe're bad with emotions, um, but
you've come a long way from theday I dropped you off at
(01:00):
rosecrans and you told me youwere going to breathe fire down
my throat.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Right, right, right.
Was it Rosecrans or it wasAlexian Brothers?
Well, I think it was.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I think they were in with them, but anyhow, yeah,
you've come a long way,Appreciate that.
Very proud of you.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Thanks.
And well, this is one of themost serious conversations that
we've ever had, to be honest,which is why I was a little
hesitant.
So my dad has been bugging mefor a year now to come on the
podcast, maybe only once a month, once a month.
He's been bugging me once amonth, sometimes twice, for a
year.
Been a little hesitant, though,because some of the topics we
(01:39):
talk about here are pretty deepconversation wise, but you know,
we're here now I got a spacethat can have the in-person
podcast.
I wanted to have you in my beststudio.
It is awesome, love it, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Beautiful job.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So what did you want to talk about today?
I know I had a few questionsabout your upbringing.
What led you to start using,using?
We've had conversations aboutaddiction and overcoming those
emotional and habitualcircumstances.
So my first question to youwould be when did you start
using?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
All right, so I can remember in seventh grade well,
I was going to start using inseventh grade Me and a friend of
mine were out at a bowlingalley not far from the house,
and it was a snowy day, andsomebody left a six-pack of
special export on the side ofthe building, probably to get
(02:37):
cold, and so I said oh boy, lookat this.
We grabbed it, ran home in thesnow, went into the backyard and
hid it in a nice little spot inthe backyard.
One thing we forgot to do,though, was cover our tracks,
Because I told you know, myfriend, come on, you know, it
(02:58):
was a Friday night.
I'm like, come back tomorrownight and you can have three
beers, and I can have threebeers, and we're going to see
what this is all about, you know.
So we walk back there onSaturday night and there's no
beer.
But there's a note there frommy brother, Wally Eddie, if I
(03:18):
ever catch you drinking again,I'll beat your ass.
Okay, big brother, you're onlytwo years older than me.
Now I'm going to rat you outfor stealing my beer, but so,
anyhow, my friend that I waswith had an older brother who
smoked pot, so I don't know.
(03:39):
A couple months later he gavehis brother a joint and you know
we smoked the joint together.
He gave his brother a joint andyou know we smoked the joint
together.
And I was just thinking abouthow, you know, the older
brothers, the older cousins arealways the ones that kind of get
the younger ones started, youknow.
So I think there should be likea bill of like reparations, you
(04:01):
know, Like if you start usingand you have all these problems
in life and you get you have togo to counseling, Well then that
person who started you shouldhave to pay for your counseling
bills.
You think I'm just kidding.
Everybody makes their owndecisions and you know I made my
decision to start, but you know, it is always seems like the
(04:22):
older brother, cousin orsomebody who who starts the ball
rolling, and so that's whathappened.
So I didn't.
I smoked a little, you know,seventh and eighth grade and
then high school though I lovebaseball, so I was a baseball
player, so didn't didn't reallyuse that much going through high
(04:44):
school, kept myself pretty busywith sports and working out and
stuff like that.
But then when I got out of highschool and you know I didn't, I
only took a couple collegecourses for business, but I
didn't.
I started to, you know, focuson my business and get bored and
(05:04):
then I just started smoking,you know, two, three times a
week, and mainly, you know, I'ma marketing guy.
So I always thought to my, Ialways thought I have to get
high to come up with a new idea,a new promotion, a new ad.
And and then you know I was.
I was insecure, insecure and Ijust wanted more friends and
(05:25):
those were my friends who weredoing it, so I would do it with
them and that's basically was mylife for, I don't know, four or
five or six years.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Was it just the pot?
You were obviously likedrinking at the time too.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yes, I, you know, I was never a huge drinker.
Surprisingly, Both of mygrandparents died of cirrhosis
of the liver.
I think it was just because Ihave.
(06:01):
I wasn't.
I didn't know that you weresupposed to mix it with stuff,
so I would drink it straight upand I was like, oh, this is bad,
you know, but I got to drink itbecause I got to get drunk, you
know, but I was.
I was never a big, big drinker,you know.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Was there anything else other than?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well, as I progressed , I got a little.
I got them into some and we'llget into that.
I think when you, when we talkabout how I turn the things
around but yeah, if someoneoffered me coke, I would say,
absolutely, let's do it, right.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
So that was so.
After high school, you starteddabbling with with weed.
You started dabbling with weed,you were business orientated,
and then you obviously startedto snowball into a lot harder
substances other than marijuana.
But did your upbringing with mygrandparents, did it have
(06:57):
anything to do with your boredom, or were you ever you had
stated you were using in orderto get friends right or to feel
accepted by people you know?
So did your family life growingup have anything to do with
your using?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It could have and you know that generation of of
parents.
You know they weren't loveydovey.
You know I, I, I knew my dadloved me but he would never hug
me.
He would never.
I knew my dad loved me but hewould never hug me, he would
never.
You know, say how much you knownever, really never, definitely
affected me, growing up in myinsecurity.
And and plus you know I'm afirstborn too, I want to be the
(07:51):
center of attention, so I wantto have friends, and drugs were
a way to get those friends andkeep them and have fun with them
.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Right, and so when did you realize that you had a
problem Right and so when didyou realize?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
that you had a problem.
Well, my eye-opening experiencewas I was downtown at a club.
I had a couple friends,jordanians, and we went into the
club and one of my friendshanded me a vial with some Coke
(08:24):
in it.
There was only a little left,so I went up into the bathroom
they had an upstairs to thisclub and I did it and a bouncer
outside the bathroom heard mesnorting or whatever I was doing
in there.
So he grabs me when I come outand he said get out of here, I
know what you're doing.
So I walked down the stairs andI go to my friends hey, you
(08:47):
know we got to go, you know,let's go.
So I walk outside and thebouncer follows me and he grabs
me by the back and throws me infront of a female cop and says
here's the guy.
So she pulls out you know theuh, the vial from my pants
pocket, pulls out a joint I hada joint in this pocket and she
(09:07):
goes man, are you stupid?
And I'm like yeah, I guess.
So I didn't know.
Coke was a felony offense, soget thrown in the paddy wagon.
California 26, which isn't your, you know, most easy jail to be
in for a night.
So I'm in there with 30, 35other guys you know, nobody was
(09:30):
going to mess with me becauseeverybody had to go before the
judge the next day but I justthat was my eye opener Like wow,
what am I doing here with theseguys?
And you know, they probablycome from broken homes and bad
opportunities and you know,maybe one parent home, one
parent family.
Here I am.
I got two great parents, abusiness.
(09:54):
My dad's handed to meeverything anything anyone could
think of to have a good life,and I need this in my life to
make me happy.
I need drugs.
I believe there's a hole ineverybody's heart and you try to
fill it, and I was trying tofill it with all that stuff, and
so that's kind of where I mademy foxhole prayer.
(10:16):
I said God because I was bornand raised a Catholic, so I
still had that feeling thatthere was a God.
If you get me out of this, I'llstart reading the Bible, even
though I don't understand it.
I'll go to church, even thoughit's boring.
You know, if you get me out ofthis, you know I'll do it.
So next day I appear before thejudge and he goes.
(10:39):
Mr Larmakey, do you consideryour idea of a good time
powdering your nose in thebathroom of the Eddie Rockets.
I'm like no, I don't your Honor.
He's like well then, get out ofhere.
I never want to see you again.
What?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Kind of lucky yeah totally.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
So.
That's kind of you know wheremy journey to sobriety started.
You know I did start, you know,going to church.
I started reading the Bible andI, you know, realized that,
yeah, the stuff I was doing, andI always thought, you know, I
was going to heaven because Iwas a Catholic, I'm like, I'm
(11:17):
not going there.
There's too many, too manystrikes against me, you know.
So eventually I got led down toa church in Chicago where there
was a guy talking that claimedto be a high priest in a satanic
cult and his life was turnedaround by the Lord and at that
(11:38):
point I said well, man, if youcould save this guy, you could
save me, you know.
So that's really where myjourney began.
And you know, I wrote down acouple of verses.
You know, I have to give you afew on this podcast For sure.
Therefore, if anyone's inChrist, he's a new creation.
The old has gone, the new hascome.
It was a miracle, you know, andanyone who comes to faith, I
(12:01):
believe it's a miracle.
But I'm not saying that afterthat moment, I still didn't use.
I mean, I would still behanging out with some of my
friends and they'd say come on,just one.
What's one joint going to do?
You know, after I did it I waslike man, this sucks, I don't
like this.
This isn't really who I am.
You know so less and less, andyou know more and more of other
(12:24):
things.
So this verse really struck mefrom Psalm 103.
It's from David Praise the Lord, o my soul, for getting out all
his benefits, who forgives allyour sins, heals all your
diseases, who redeems your lifefrom the pit and crowns you with
love and compassion, whosatisfies your desires with good
(12:48):
things so that your youth isrenewed like the eagle.
And it was just amazing howyour mind is set to believe that
you need these vices to makeyou happy.
And once you make the decisionto stop, it's unbelievable how
many good things you realizedyou missed in life.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
You know, by using Well, it's having a purpose and
also having a faith in somethingbigger than yourself.
Yeah, right, and they teachthat a lot in Narcotics
Anonymous and AlcoholicsAnonymous, and even with my
therapist and mentor, who helpedme get sober, having an idea of
(13:34):
who I am without the drugs.
Right Was what helped me andkept me going, and to have
something to believe in likethat, like you said, you don't
need those things in order to bewho you are Right, right, so,
and for you, it is a faith inGod and a religion that brought
(13:58):
you to a healthier place is afaith in God and a religion that
brought you to a healthierplace.
You're able to start multiplebusinesses, have a family, a
loving family, and chasemultiple dreams also.
We do give you shit for notdoing abs or legs at the gym,
you know.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
That's why I just want the upper part.
Let's crop it right here.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Okay, well, I mean, you still have the determination
to have a healthy body, healthyrelationships with the people
around you.
So I do.
I am a firm believer thateverything does happen for a
reason, and the pits that youwere in at the moment helped you
realize that.
You know that wasn't the lifeyou really wanted to live, which
(14:47):
is tough to do, becausesometimes we get signs from the
universe, or signs from a Godtelling us of the things we need
to change, and then we don'tlisten to them.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Right, yep, and it's tough admitting that we were
wrong Right, but you're onlyever going to learn about life
if you admit that you're wrongRight.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Mistakes.
Yeah, we're all going to makethem Right.
You got to learn from them.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Having a, you know, a sense of forgiveness, not for
the people that have wronged usfor a while.
I bet you were probably mad atyour friends for leading you
down a certain path.
I mean, you had takenresponsibility for your actions
but at the same time you werelike kind of frustrated at even
putting yourself in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Yeah, I was.
But yet I realized who I was atthe time and the acceptance I
was looking for from them.
And then, when my life changed,it was like, wow, what happened
to Ed Hug me doesn't want tohave fun with us anymore, you
know.
But but you know, and then someof them were like, okay, this
(15:54):
looks genuine.
You know, let me talk to himabout it.
And those are the friends thatyou keep, and you know me talk
to him about it.
And and those are the friendsthat you keep and you know you
love right that have stayed withyou through it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, you know, and there are people in your life
that don't stick around afterthose times, but you wish them
the best absolutely my mom.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Doors always open for them, and when they're going
through their troubles andtrials, you know Of course, I've
got people in my life like thatas well, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
So after turning your life around, you wanted to come
here and talk about alsoinspiration or just dreams in
general.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
So I had some big dreams after I changed my life
around.
All my life I loved music, allkinds of music.
I loved rock, I loved rap,alternative I could say.
The only thing I wasn't crazyabout was country, which is nuts
, because now I like country,but all kinds of music, I loved
it.
And you know, when I got saved,my friend handed me a little
(16:58):
cassette because it was 30 yearsago of a Christian band I don't
know, petra or Mylon something,and you know I'm listening to
it.
I'm like, wow, this is awesome,this is good for my mind and my
heart and I like the beat.
So you know, I just went justhead over heels into all kinds
of Christian music.
And then this friend of minewanted to open up a coffee house
(17:19):
and started having concerts andI'm like, oh, I'm in, where are
we going to do it?
Well, I want to find somethingin Elmhurst.
I'm like perfect, ends upfinding a place, way the heck
out in Aurora, an old Masonicbuilding.
So you know, I'm driving outthere and he basically put me in
charge of finding the bands andbooking them, which was pretty
cool, because I had no vestedmoney skin in the game.
(17:42):
So I was like, yeah, let'sbring these guys out, let's
bring these guys out.
Well, six months later you knowit was the scene, was still
young, a lot of people wouldn'tcome to these things and he just
ended up losing money, had toclose.
There was one group of kids, ayouth group, that would come to
a lot of our events and it wouldjust be them, those 12 or 13 or
(18:04):
14 kids.
So the leader of that group hisname was Dan, and he said let's
have one more show for the kids.
We'll do it at my church inElgin.
And him and I were bothmetalhead headbangers.
So we were like let's bring outSix Feet Deep, precious Death,
mortal.
Let's have a banger concert.
(18:25):
And it should be done.
That was.
We called it Hardcore 94.
It was October of 94.
You, my friend, were about ayear and a half old at the time,
john, so I think we left you athome.
Mom came and ran the door andso all these kids are walking up
(18:46):
mohawks, tats, piercings, baggyclothes.
I mean, judging a book by itscover, mary's like are are we?
You know how mom is?
Are we safe here?
What could happen to us?
You know, so these kids arecoming in and it was an old, old
(19:06):
Baptist church.
We pulled all the pews out ofthe main floor so the kids could
stand and jump around.
And it's cool because the groupMortal the guy in Mortal,
jerome, is now the leadguitarist for Switchfoot, so his
life has gone up.
Awesome band Switchfoot.
So anyhow end of the night, thekids are jumping up and down,
(19:29):
arms raised, praising God, andDan and I said we got to keep
doing this.
So that's where EDAN was bornand that was my dream and that
was my life to do these concerts.
It got bigger and bigger andbigger.
We ended up doing a festival atAlexian Field in Schaumburg.
You were there, a lot of themSkillet, pod, mercy, me, casting
(19:55):
Crowns every band you couldthink of we brought out to those
festivals and had a blast.
The Casting Crowns every bandyou could think of we brought
out to those festivals and had ablast.
Things were going great until2011 when we got a call from the
owner of the Flyers that he wasbeing evicted by the city of
Schaumburg.
He was a million dollars due onhis back rent.
So we're like, wow, what do wedo now?
(20:16):
He said, don't worry, I'mmaking a new stadium out in Zion
and Kevin Costner is my partner, you know, and he's going to.
We're going to build a stage incenter field, we're going to
have jumbotrons, everything wealways dreamed of having at our
fest.
And then he said and I'm onlygoing to charge you a dollar a
ticket.
I'm like, oh, this is beautiful.
I'm going to do three nights.
(20:37):
So we did three nights out inZion 2011.
I had a great lineup.
We did have Switchfoot, we hadSkillet, we had Striper Reunion,
newsboys, so it was a greatlineup.
3,000 people show up the wholeweekend.
We lose $150,000.
(20:58):
And I was so distraught anddisappointed I told mom, I told
your mom, I'm like, yeah, we're,we're done, we gotta, we gotta
throw the towel in, you know.
And she's like, oh, no, we'regonna be okay, we're gonna do
shows in the fall and we'regonna, we're gonna pay all these
people back, like, okay, I'llgo with you.
So we ended up, yeah, payingeverybody back, but one band who
(21:21):
wouldn't take a reduction intheir honorarium.
And now they didn't getanything Everybody else got paid
.
So then the following year,schaumburg calls us the old
stadium, their new team.
The Boomers are like come onout, we want you to bring Ignite
back.
And they made a lot of money onconcessions and parking so it
was a cash cow for them.
So we're like great, let'sbring it back to where we think
(21:43):
we'll have success.
This is where we had it foreight, seven or eight years.
People will come back.
It's in the bullet of where allof our fan base is.
And we put together a fantasticlineup.
We had Casting Crowns, mercy,me two of the biggest artists in
the industry on the same night.
I think we had to flip a cointo see who would go up first,
(22:03):
because even though you're aChristian, you still have a big
ego and they did so.
The next night we had Toby Mac,jeremy, camp and Lecrae and all
other great artists.
Another 3,000 people showed upfor the two days and lost our
booties again over 100, maybe150.
(22:23):
So that was a tough pill toswallow.
We tried to reach out to thebands we still owe money to.
We've been working with themfor almost 15 or 20 years, some
of them.
Some of them we started in thisarea, so we helped birth them
to what they became and we justsaid, hey, you know, let us
bring you out.
(22:44):
We have relationships withchurches all over Chicago.
You come out, we'll take zeromoney, give you all the money
until we pay you back.
They said no.
Nashville said until you paythe bands off, you can't do
concerts anymore.
So that hurt, that hurt momreal bad, because mom was the
one who ran these shows andhospitality, fed these bands
(23:06):
like Kings and Queens and shewas very disappointed, went into
depression for I would sayabout six months.
She just was shot.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You know it's tough because you guys were putting on
these shows.
I think it was tough for herbecause you guys were doing the
concerts for man 15 years, 15,20 years and then you guys
became a nonprofit.
You, after doing successfulfestivals and concerts, turned
it into a really big operationBig, and I think it was a tough
(23:39):
pill to swallow because it was abusiness still and you guys
were promoting Christian music,christian values, and then to
have that happen it would suckbecause you forgot that it was
still a business though, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
And that was the fine line we had to always try to
straddle.
You know, is is we're.
You know we're doing somethinggood for God, but yet we got to
pay our bills and, um, you know,when our focus became more on
the money and more on on thataspect, that's when things
started to go down and ourdecision started to not be wise,
(24:18):
and that's why he took it away.
But it took me a while to getover it.
I was sending, you know,spreadsheets out to a lot of the
bands I owed money to.
Hey, I'll make you 50% owner ofthe festival, you know, with
the money you owe me.
A couple of them were almostready to do it, but it didn't
(24:40):
work out, and so that chapterwas closed in my life.
And so where do you go fromhere?
You know, this was a passion Ihad for 20 years and this is
what I really almost wanted todo for the rest of my life, and
it was taken away, butfortunately I still had a
business a out the way theyshould, I believe.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I mean, if you had the opportunity to do it,
obviously you would probably runconcerts.
You know it's a lot of work,though it is and it put a lot of
stress on mom and our marriage.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yep, we ran you guys around crazy during those times
too.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Yeah, I mean you're trying to raise like four kids
while you're essentially runningtwo businesses.
Yeah, it was.
You know that's a lot to handleand you know all the sports
that all the kids were in aswell, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
That was our sanity.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yeah, it was pretty hectic for probably a decade,
I'd say for sure, oh yeah.
But now the Tucks Place isdoing well, that's for sure.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Excellent, it actually, covid, actually helped
you guys out, helped us a lot,got rid of some bad competitors.
There's not many of us left no,which is great.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
So the concert thing and I think it's interesting
because still some of myfavorite music is still two
bands that I am salty that youguys never got because they were
a little too heavy yeah, wecouldn't go into that heavy
realm it was.
It was uh our eardrums, whichwas, uh, the two bands that and
(26:39):
Justin had got me on as wellwhich were the Devil Wears Prada
, who's still touring today and,as they Lay, dying as well.
So those are my two favorite,but unfortunately I wasn't able
to see them live, which is allright.
I still was able to see whatPOD and Skillet a few times,
Five Iron Frenzy.
So I'm very thankful for youbringing me to shows my whole
(27:01):
life and, I don don't know,maybe bringing me there when I
was one actually gave me therhythm that I have today.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
You know, I mean, joe doesn't have any rhythm, he
really doesn't.
He didn't get any of that, butit has helped me.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
My connection to music has helped me with my
connection to poetry, myconnection to being artistic.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
So I am always forever grateful for that
upbringing in concerts, althoughif it was very stressful on the
family you know it was, andthere was one artist in
particular that when you weregoing through some of your
struggles that I think took youaside and gave you some advice
john cooper, the coop fromskillet good guy good guy.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
So how old was I when you did that?
Though you were in 14, 15, 16,maybe yeah, I mean I was in high
school at the time yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you know, still struggling with your identity
and you know, fitting in right.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Well, that's one thing I mean like, like you had
said earlier, when you weredoing these substances because
you wanted to fit in, becauseyou wanted to have friends.
You know, even in high school,when I wasn't using too much, I
started smoking cigarettes and Iwas drinking occasionally like
a jock would.
(28:17):
Essentially, I did not likesmoking weed in high school
because I was too paranoid aboutgetting caught by you and mom.
Excellent, yeah, I mean at thetime but you know, when I went
off to college it was adifferent story, though A few
hours away I can't say that Iwas trying to fit in in high
school with the using.
I did have a enigma that Ilived by at college, though, for
(28:41):
the Chicago John.
Chicago, john by at college,though, for the the chicago john
, chicago john persona.
That, uh, you know I was tryingto fit in, you know, and
whenever you're trying to fit inat the expense of your own
authenticity, it usually ends indestruction.
Yes, and definitely.
It was a learning experience forme, for sure, coming up on, I
(29:01):
think, five years sober you hadto fall down a few times a few.
Yeah, I mean a few.
Yeah, just to say the least,face plants a few times yeah I'd
face plant and then I'd dig ahole and hide in.
It really is what I did.
You know, I even fall to tothis day still, but as long as
my sobriety stays, you knowthat's.
(29:22):
It's not even a thought in myhead anymore of whether I'm
going to be sober or not,because it's totally changed my
life.
I know you're still able tooccasionally have a beer, you
know, or you like having a glassof wine, you know.
Yeah, I'll never get to thatpoint.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
And see, that was never my.
Where I got in trouble, it waswith marijuana and pot.
So I'll never smoke pot again,right, see?
So that's kind of the thing isthat I saw that destruction and
how that affected my life andthen, when you guys were
starting to go through it,that's what drove me insane.
It wasn't the drinking, becausedrinking never had a hold of me
(29:58):
, which I you know is stupidbecause it can get a hold of you
.
But I was okay with you guysdrinking.
But when it came to smoking pot, I was like I hate this,
absolutely, not Right, and wewould have arguments about that
and I didn't even I didn't evenhave the biggest problem with
marijuana because, like I said,that one was easier for me to
(30:20):
quit when I had quit everything.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
The final time I had used marijuana for a month in
order to get off of the cocaineand the alcohol, because the
withdrawals from that wereabsolutely insane.
You know, the withdrawals fromweed is just like, okay, you're
a little more irritable andbored, I would say, but it
wasn't.
You know, it was easier for meto get rid of the weed because
(30:45):
it made me want to play videogames and eat burritos and not
work out.
So that one was easy for me toget rid of.
It was the like you had saidyou weren't too frustrated with
us when we were drinking Right,and it's socially acceptable in
society, true, to drink right.
So what I had figured out islike okay, everybody was mad at
me when I was smoking weed.
(31:06):
It was the hard drugs that hadreally caused my psychosis
between the ages of 19 and 21.
Like, the marijuana definitelyhad played a role, but it was
more like a cherry on top of aconcoction that I had brewed
with a bunch of other chemicals,right.
And then I realized I'm likeokay, well, that chapter of my
life is over, right, but peopledon't bat an eye if I have beer
(31:31):
or if I drink and get drunk onthe weekends or like, oh, he's
fine, he's going to school andgoing to work, right, so it's,
it's totally fine, society'sfine with that.
But that is actually what hadme spiral the second time
between the ages of 24 and 26.
And I was fighting with thisidentity like, oh, society tells
me it's okay, I can drink, andthen deep down inside I'm like I
(31:52):
can't do anything, you know.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
So I had to yeah, I just had to give everything up
at that point.
And I know Joe struggled a lotwith the booze too, definitely.
Yeah, he struggled a lot withthe weed too, but he nipped that
in the butt when he was youngertoo, like in his early 20s,
yeah.
And then he probably did thesame thing that I did and he
(32:16):
goes oh well, people don't careif we drink, he would drink a
lot, he would drink a fuck tonactually yeah you know you would
drink a lot.
You would drink a fun timeactually, yeah, but I mean what
joe and I have done now thatwe've embraced our sobriety is
just insane.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, awesome, yeah, he's training.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So what else did you want to talk about?
We touched a little bit on yourpast.
Um, I did want to ask anotherquestion from your upbringing,
though.
Like yeah, you had dealt withyour father's anger and his
diabetes.
He was a smoker, smoked like achimney Three packs a day for 20
years.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
It's insane.
And the funny thing about thatis me and my brother, wally
Techie, we hate smoking.
I tried it once and I hated itbecause we would go on trips
across the country.
He'd be smoking chain smokingin the car and we're like, oh,
this is terrible, this isterrible.
(33:12):
So I told your mom when, whenyou guys were both in your
smoking habits, I'm like, yeah,we blew it.
We should have lit upcigarettes the whole way to
Arizona, california, wherever wewent.
The kids would have hated it.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
But I don't know and it's odd because it's the same
thing with mom and her sistersas well, because of pa and non,
none of them smoke yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, so it's like the generation.
It almost skips a generationbecause the kids hate it.
Right, right, right right.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah, I still have a soft spot for tobacco, but I'm
going to be researching betterways to make it more how do I
say ceremonial?
You know the way they marketcigarettes and shit like that
and the chemicals they put intoit.
You know Tobacco has beenaround for thousands of years.
It is addictive, though.
I do think there's a proper wayto have good habits.
(34:09):
Sometimes, as you know, it'svery easy to slam ice cream or
cookies and shit like that.
It's very hard for people likeus, who are 0 to 100, in order
to ease up on the throttle.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
We're both that way.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, I've.
I've gotten better at dealingwith that with my video games
and the ice cream and stuff, soI'm hoping that in the future I
can do the same thing for thetobacco but Well, when you have
your first kid, you're going towant to have a cigar, probably.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I think, I think, when, I when I.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I have another book I think that's another
accomplishment, that is yeah, Ialso told lisa when, when we get
a house too, like might do itthen you know that is, that is a
good time to do that right, uh,I wanted to ask about.
I was going to ask, like,growing up, what were your
dreams?
Because you talked about yourdreams when your life had
changed.
Right, what were the dreamsgrowing up?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
though well, they were sports oriented.
I I, you know I love baseball.
Um, seven years old, I wasrunning home from school to
catch the chicago cubs the lastfew innings, because their game
started at one, I'd get off atthree, I'd catch the last few
innings.
My favorite players BillyWilliams, ernie Banks, ron Sano,
(35:26):
don Kessinger and so I became ahuge Cub fan.
And then, you know that wasgrowing up.
I mean, we didn't have videogames and I grew up on a great
block.
All we did was play wiffle ball, you know, most of the day long
, and other sports, and it was agreat blocking community to
grow up on.
(35:46):
So every kid dreams of gettingto the bigs.
You know I had a decent run atyork, um, but you know that that
ended when I realized Icouldn't throw the ball over,
you know, 80 miles an hour.
So but yeah, I mean baseballwas, was part of part of my
(36:06):
dreams and you know, and thenit's just really just growing up
in the family business, justrealizing that one day, how how
do we make this better than itis now?
You know, so that was always adream too, right.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Do you got any changes to your dreams now?
Are your dreams just retiringand then fishing?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Well, you and Joe and Catherine are getting in the
way of my dreams right now Ican't say gee, because she's too
young, but I would love to havea grandkid and take them
fishing and throw and play,catch with them and you know all
that good stuff.
But no, yeah, I love fishing,going out there and just so
peaceful out on some of theselakes and we're catching release
(36:53):
, so we don't keep them, we justhave fun catching them and
that's a blast.
Camping with your mother, youknow, on our fifth wheel we have
a blast just going out on theweekends and long trips down to
Florida and wherever else.
You know the Lord takes us, sothat's an awesome dream to one
day just be able to do that.
(37:13):
As you know, I just got backfrom my very first mission trip.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Yeah, I was going to ask about that.
So this is your first missiontrip ever right, ever
Eye-opening experience, I assume.
Yeah, I was going to ask aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
So this is your first mission trip ever right, Ever
Eye-opening experience I assumeYou're going to do it again,
that part of my dreams Nice, I'mgoing to do it again and take
more people with me.
And so I did have a verse frommy mission trip that really
stuck in my heart 1 Corinthians1,.
It says praise be to the Godand Father of our Lord, jesus
Christ, the Father of compassionand the God of all comfort, who
(37:49):
comforts us in all of ourtroubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with thecomfort we ourselves have
received from God.
And this ties into you too.
You've had people throughoutyour life your counselors, us
(38:12):
friends who have been ableyou've been able to come to and
seek comfort from through thetroubles that you're going
through, and totally proud ofyou for that.
So, going down to Honduras, in1990, hurricane Mitch hit
Honduras.
The whole country wasunderwater, whole country,
(38:35):
15,000 people died.
This organization, all God'sChildren, that I went down with,
was one of the firstorganizations down there that
set up orphanages.
They had tons of kids, noparents, so they set up some
orphanages.
How long has it been?
30 years later, I go down there.
These orphans that were helpedfrom this ministry I went down
(38:58):
with are now like key figuresaround the cities helping kids
that are, you know, lessfortunate, the least of these,
and it was just great to see andjust understand how humanity is
okay, I mean when you let youknow the love of God flow
(39:20):
through you to help other peopleout.
It's awesome to see, and that Iwent down there thinking, okay,
I'm going to bless these peoplewith myself, you know, and my
good humor, and I came back justtotally blessed by them.
I mean, from what they aredoing down there and the little
kids living in the worstconditions coming up to you and
(39:42):
hugging you, and then theirteachers, you know, in these
little schools praying over us.
That went down there.
We don't need prayer Pray forthese kids, you know.
But it's just unbelievable howyou know, the less you have, the
more reliant you are on yourfaith and God have, the more
reliant you are on your faithand God, and the more you have,
(40:05):
it's like, ah, I'm doing good bymyself, I don't really need
anything, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
So it's like a perspective, though, because
they're able to be and we werejust talking about this on
another episode how importantgratitude is.
To be grateful, you know,because once you start having
more than you may need, then youstart taking things for granted
, right, and it was probably achange in perspective.
Like you said, you thought youwere going down there to bless
them, yeah, and you experience,and instead blessed you, right.
(40:35):
You know, these kids and thesefamilies have way less than you
and they're praying for you.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Maybe praying for you , so you realize that you got a
lot more to be thankful for thanyou think you know, which
that's a great experience,honestly.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yeah, one of my friends hit me back because I
sent stories each day and hesaid, yeah, our first world
problems, you know, are nothingcompared to the third world and
what they have to go throughdown there.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
You made my coffee wrong.
You cut me off in the street.
You know, care is trivial shitRight it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Are you going to take mom with next time she says she
won't go?
No, she doesn't.
She's not an out of countrykind of gal.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
She's not an out of country gal, but who knows, I
could work in her heart too.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Right, I think there's other ways that she
could do service work like that.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, there's all places where you can serve.
The thing about down there isthat your dollar goes way
farther because $1 is 24 oftheir dollars.
So when you give to theseorganizations, that money can go
so far into helping thesepeople.
Plus, they don't haveopportunities at all that we
(41:49):
have here.
I know there's some tough areashere in this country.
There is a government that willhelp these people.
Sometimes Down there you're onyour own.
It's all you against the world,pretty much.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
I think spreading that love, compassion is how you
can start affecting the world,right?
Instead of we're always justkind of worried about ourselves
over here in America, you know,and it's easy to turn on the
television or our phone screensand just see everybody fighting
(42:23):
each other, disagreeing witheach other, new things to buy,
buy, buy, all of this crap goingon, and then we totally forget
that we're supposed to be in ittogether, right?
But we don't realize that.
I mean, even aside fromreligion or even aside from
politics, aside from everything,we're humans.
(42:45):
It doesn't matter about skincolor or anything like that.
We're supposed to find a reasonto love each other and we
forget that.
So I think the rise oftechnology I talk about it a lot
on the podcast and how it isessentially dividing us.
It makes us feel like we'remore connected, but it divides
(43:06):
us, right.
I think being able to use itproperly will allow us to love
more, right, right, we just needto learn how to use it properly
.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
This is a good start right here, right Over here, on
the Feel Free Podcast.
Yeah, yeah, this is a goodstart right here, right Over
here, on the Feel Free Podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Yeah, yeah, I just had.
I have my buddy Brandon come onregularly and he does service
work.
I think he helps out at a foodpantry once a week.
Nice, yeah, I was going to lookinto some options around here as
well.
And it's funny that youmentioned the Honduras trip
because originally I startedgoing to NA because I thought
(43:44):
there's probably somebody therethat I can help.
I'm coming up on five yearssober.
I want to help other addictsout like that and I get there
and I've realized the last twomonths that they're actually
helping me.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
How about that change ?
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, I haven't worked the uh, the 12 step, like
the way the book has done it.
My mentors helped me in a in adifferent way.
So, I not sure if I'm able tobe a sponsor in the NA sense, so
I'm, I'm really just going forfor me, first because it's good
for me as a recovering addict tolisten to other addicts,
(44:24):
definitely, and then, from whatpeople have told me there, they
really appreciate my perspectiveon it too.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
so, yeah, service work is, is very wholesome you
know, and I, like you said, itgets you out of yourself and
into helping others and and andit just comes right back into
you.
It's like it bounces off youwhen you help someone else and
blesses you.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
It's just the way it works right, I mean over here in
america very uh fast-pacedconsumer consumerism
capitalistic.
Gotta get yours, gotta havebusiness money, money, money,
things, money, things, things,things.
Money, money money, you know,and that's when we lose sight of
, you know, just being ourselvesand doing good things, you know
(45:09):
, right on.
So it's a lot of the stuff wetalk about here.
On the old feel free podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
So yeah, I've been working out, as you know.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
I was going to ask that too.
Yep, I was going to ask thattoo.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yep, I had my little weight set in the backyard and
you built a nice enclosure forme so I wouldn't get wet doing
it.
Just had one bench free weightscurl bar.
So that was doing okay for awhile, until it got super cold
out in January.
And so then we went on thecruise and I hit the club there
(45:48):
like three times every other dayand I'm like, wow, this, this
really is cool, these machinesand I could get my workout done
better.
I could, I could work out morebody parts, and so when I got
back I joined LA and I've beengoing pretty consistently for I
don't know, about a month now.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
Right, I mean, aside from the Honduras trip, you've
pretty much been at the gym.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
You've seen me there.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
I know I have seen you there.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Joe said.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
He said you came home one night and he goes yeah, I
saw John at the gym.
My own son won't even work outwith me.
I tell, and I was telling Ithink I was telling Chris that
too and then I don't go to thegym, I don't.
I don't work out with peoplethough, especially like you do,
a heavy chest day.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
I do a heavy chest.
Yeah, really heavy chest, heavyarms, cause that's all that
really matters in life.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
So, but you're consistent though, and you're
even doing the elliptical, I amdoing the elliptical on the
other nights.
Yeah, I am doing some cardioand the ab machine too.
I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
I do cardio and abs the same day.
Wow, yeah, that's one of mygoals and dreams is to actually
see my abs one day again, reallylike when I was 17 years old
and I had abs, I think you can.
They're in there.
I mean, what about your buddySteve?
Look at him.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Yeah, he's, he's killing it, he's killing it.
I mean, they don't.
They don't eat like pasta orbread anymore, though.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Well, that's not fun way to live your life guys, but
Joe's helped them too with someof his eating advice.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Right.
Well, yeah, steve was askingJoe one time.
He goes what do you eat?
He's like meat.
He goes yeah, joe's like yeah,I just eat like meat and fruit.
Meat, fruit and honey.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
And then Steve's like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (47:36):
And then he started doing it and we see him at what
is it?
Labor Day weekend, he goes.
I feel fucking great Nice yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
It's good.
And those two guys, they run,and he runs a lot.
Is he running again now?
He does the Peloton too.
He does the Peloton yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
So what I had mentioned on another podcast.
I don't know if you know this,but I rolled my ankle yesterday.
Pretty bad again.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yep, I'll probably be out for three, four weeks so
you need me to fill in for youon the basketball court, I mean
sure, If you want to go up thereyou're at the same gym.
I don't know if they're readyfor my sky hook?
Speaker 1 (48:16):
I don't think so.
Yeah, lisa was telling meyesterday she goes because I was
getting.
I get down when I get injuredand she goes.
Every time you get injured youjust stop completely, I do, I
just I don't do anything.
I don't do, I don't go to thegym, I get hurt and I get all
depressed about it.
So Today later I'm going to gohome and I'm going to plan out
(48:40):
my weeks accordingly, like mydays, and I'm going to tailor a
workout plan that is doableright now.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Well, I think it's really a good time to start
working on your chest and arms.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, but the problem is it fucks up the shot buddy.
Then I start throwing bricksKeep stretching, yeah, but if
you don't, you have to work outand shoot in tandem, right?
If I put on too much muscle,though, I start chucking bricks,
buddy, yeah, but you're gettingmore rebounds.
I get a lot of rebounds.
That's how this happened.
Yeah, yeah, I out-rebound thebigs at the gym, and you rolled
(49:15):
it.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
That's a bummer.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
Yeah, yeah, god, it fucking hurt.
Speaker 2 (49:19):
Got to tape it up.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Yeah, I got a brace on it.
Now Lisa's telling me I got toice it too.
But staying consistent withthat, but also adapting, like I
won't be able to use thestationary bike as much as I
have been, or I'll be able to doquad workouts because it helps
my knee, doing the leg extensionmachine you know the one where
you're sitting like this, andthen there's a bar here.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
Yeah, machine, you know the one where you're
sitting, like this, and thenthere's a bar here?
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Yeah, that you can never get on because they only
have one.
They got two.
Well, one, I don't like the one.
Ah, the weird yeah, there's aweird one Like lifts you up when
you do it, yeah, yeah, I don'tlike that.
Yeah, I don't like it.
But doing that workout with lowweight and then, instead of
using both feet, so if yourright knee is bad, then I always
just put a low weight on andI'll use one knee to do that.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
I've seen people doing that.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, and honestly it's helped with my knee pain
immensely.
But yeah, being able to changeup and adapt, that's my next
goal.
So I don't fucking go scorchedearth and play video games and
eat ice cream because I'm sad Irolled my ankle.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, Don't go down that path.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Nah, so what other?
You got pet peeves at the gym,is what you said.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
So I've been working out since I was maybe 12 years
old, up in my bedroom just withfree weights, and so my whole
thing is you know, if you'regoing to work out, have some
form, you know, do it the rightway, you know, or you're wasting
your time, you know.
So the other day I see a ladyon the lat pull-down machine.
She's standing up and she'sjust swinging it back and forth.
(50:46):
I'm like what is that?
What are you doing?
Just go to the playground andswing on the swing or go down
the slide.
You're not working out on themachine like that.
Then you've got guys that areon the same machine and they're
laying down and they're just,you know, they're pulling
themselves up while they pullthe weight down.
I'm like what are you doing?
(51:08):
That's not how you do it.
Man who taught you how to do?
that they just don't know,though they don't know.
And then you know you got theguys who go in the aerobics room
and I'm like come on, what areyou doing in the aerobics room?
Why are you all in the back row?
You know you're not there towork out.
You're there to you know.
(51:30):
See the show.
The instructors go.
Okay, guys, all the guys, comeon up to the front.
See you later.
I got to work out.
They're in there for the wrongreasons.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
I think we were just talking to Edgar about how the
gym sometimes it's like a zoo interms of, like the pheromones
and humans and people,eye-goggling people, you know.
So that's why I like justputting my headphones in, Like
I'm here, Got to get in, get out, do my workout.
You know I'm not here for anyof the other bullshit.
(52:04):
You know other things that suckis people that just take too
damn long.
Speaker 2 (52:07):
Oh my gosh.
So I have like one machine Ifinish up with.
It's um, you know the, thetricep machine, and you know,
okay, let me.
I hope nobody's on there.
Oh, there's a guy on there onhis phone sitting on the machine
for like 10 or 15 minutes.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
It's like what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Go If you're done for the day, or go in the locker
room.
Don't sit on a machine for 10or 15 minutes on your phone,
right, that's that drives menuts.
What a jag, yeah, yeah.
So then I was there, I don'tknow, a couple weeks ago, and I
told you the story because youguys were like you do the same
workout every time and you knowyou don't diversify.
(52:47):
And so I'm on the bench with mycurls.
I do three sets of, you know,42, 45-pound curls like this.
I go straight up and I twist,so I'm doing them and there's
this guy on the bench next to me.
He's pretty jacked and he looksover.
(53:08):
He's like hey, how long youbeen, you know how long you been
working out for?
And I just, you know, I juststarted up again, you know.
But for a while he's like man,you got about the best form I've
ever seen.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yeah, I bet your ego really needed that.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
I don't think I could .
I tried to get out the door.
My head was about this big.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
It is good that you finally see the pros of going to
the gym.
You're able to work out moremuscle groups for sure.
Yeah feels good.
It's a nice routine too, andyou hold yourself accountable to
um.
You are able to work outdifferent muscle groups.
So we do give you shit about,you know, doing the same three
(53:54):
or four workouts in the dog runright and then, but I'm hitting
some groups, man, I'm hittingsome groups, yeah, consistently
right, I think.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
I think that's all that really matters is the uh,
consistent Right.
And then, but I'm hitting somegroups, man, I'm hitting some
groups, yeah, consistently.
Speaker 1 (54:01):
Right, I think that's .
All that really matters is theconsistency.
So what else do you have to sayfor the listeners out there
Anything about if somebody'sstruggling with thinking they
need to change how to make thosechanges, they need to change
(54:24):
how to make those changes.
Or what would you do if youwanted to chase your dream but
you knew that there were?
Speaker 2 (54:26):
things getting in the way of that?
Wow, that's a really goodquestion.
Well, it's real important toclear your mind, you know, and
when you're, when you're puttingsubstances, and and and and
addictions are in the way ofthat, you can't think or see
clearly.
So you don't have any visionfor the future and for your life
(54:49):
.
So, you know, if you're able toget sober and get rid of the
things that are clouding up yourmind, then that's, I think
that's the first step and justbeing obviously being around
people, like-minded people.
You know, we always told you,growing up, bad company corrupts
good morals, you know, and ifyou, if you are hanging out with
(55:11):
people, I mean that's why it'sso important that, as Christians
, we go to church every week,because you're around
like-minded people that you knowbelieve the same things you do
and care about you.
So being around people like,like minded, positive influences
in your life is a great way to,you know, overcome anything and
(55:33):
strive for your dreams.
I love the.
There's a verse that says asiron sharpens iron, so one man
sharpens another, and if you canget around, you know people
that can sharpen you.
That's, that's awesome, right?
That's what life's all about.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Nice and I do have to ask this other question because
Edgar has been bugging me tostart asking this question on
the podcast.
Okay, what do you do?
That helps you feel free?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Okay, what do you do that helps you feel free?
Oh, wow, what do I do thathelps me feel free?
Okay, Well, I try to start my.
I try to start my morning inthe word, which I believe gives
me a clear mind and directionfor my day, and I do pray.
So.
Solitude is so hard in thissociety.
Your brain goes a million milesan hour about what you're going
(56:20):
to do for the day.
You know, but if you could justsit there for even five minutes
and just meditate and ponder onlife and God and love, it's a
great way to start your day off.
You know, and keeping your bodyin shape and exercising and
(56:43):
eating the right things.
That's another awesome way tofeel free.
You know, just, you don't wantto be a slave to anything, and
that's what freedom is all about.
Breaking the chains that's agood answer, yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:56):
Well, I think we've had a pretty good conversation.
Speaker 2 (56:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (56:59):
Right, it's been a lot of fun.
Absolutely Appreciate youcoming by Dad.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Thanks man, super proud of you.
Thanks Dad.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
Well, you heard it Meditate on that.
Have a good rest of your day.
Thanks for coming by.
And you know the drill Stay up,feel free, you.
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