December 22, 2023 • 29 mins
Happy Holidays! This episode is particularly close to my heart as we explore navigating the festive season with mindfulness and sobriety. I dive into the intricacies of holiday celebrations, offering tips and heartfelt advice to those in recovery. From expressing genuine gratitude to choosing the right company, this conversation is aimed at ensuring that your holiday spirit is as bright and healthy as the lights adorning the streets.
The journey to self-improvement is often marred with challenges, and today I share a blueprint for overcoming bad habits that's been tempered by my own experiences. Anecdotes from my recent forays into philosophy, writing, and even leisurely strategy games paint a picture of the diverse ways we can enrich our lives post-addiction.
So, as we wrap up this year, let's cherish the moments of love, practice gratitude, and stride into the holiday season with a commitment to our healthiest selves!
Follow Jon Cerone and The FEEL FREE Podcast
Parables: Musings From an Addict on the Journey Toward Wholeness on Amazon:
https://a.co/d/iWp2X6D
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/joncerone/?hl=en
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Cerone/100075476931880/
Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP5j0_wqY2yj-2JyXU_27iQ
TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@joncerone
https://www.tiktok.com/@feelfreeclips
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome back to another episode of Feel Free,
the only podcast that'll tellyou to chase your dreams and
call you out on all yourbullshit, myself included.
Special holiday episode.
So happy holidays to everybodywho's listening to.
This Should be a fun and muchneeded weekend after the year
we've all had.
(00:27):
So this episode is a soloepisode.
I will be running it by myselfno guest this week.
However, in a few weeks I dohave a returning guest coming by
to talk about some changes intheir life, some good changes.
My buddy, sam, will be back onto talk about some of the
improvements he's made in hislife.
For now, we're going to betalking mostly about the
(00:48):
holidays.
We're going to be talking abouthabits and recovery, wellness
all that good stuff.
Maybe a few updates on what'sgoing on in my life.
So, yeah, without further ado,let's get into the episode a
little bit.
Actually typed out an outlineand, yeah, I read it a little
bit before.
First thing I would like to sayis I am engaged, so big
(01:14):
congratulations to Lisa and I.
So, yeah, I got down on oneknee while we were up at my
family's cottage, so it was areally magical moment and I'm
excited to spend the rest of mylife with the person I love.
So I just wanted to throw out,obviously, a congratulations and
(01:36):
a little shout out to the womanI love, who's been a integral
part of my wellness and who I amright now always cheering me on
, and I wouldn't be here, and Iwouldn't be doing this podcast,
honestly, if it wasn't for hercheering me on.
So just wanted to say I loveher and thank you, lisa.
Hopefully you hear this.
(01:58):
Number two I wanted to talkabout recovery and wellness
during the holidays.
Now, the first thing I reallywanted to mention is this isn't
technically a recovery podcast,although I do have people come
on to talk about their time inrecovery, working with addiction
and using those stories inorder to inspire people.
(02:20):
But, with that being said, itis not a recovery or even just a
flat out mental health podcast.
It's more of a general wellnesspodcast.
But I still like to use myexperience with recovery to
relate to everybody out there,even people who aren't addicts
or people who just want to behealthier and I was just guest
(02:41):
speaking on a podcast.
I want to throw out Steve andJulie over through the glass
recovery and thank them forhaving me on to talk about
recovery and addiction.
It was awesome and it kind ofinspired me to do a little
segment about the holidays rightnow, because the holidays are
tough for everybody and that'snot just addicts.
But I wanted to give a littlelove to the people in recovery
(03:02):
who are like me and talk about afew things about the holidays
that can get stressful foreverybody.
It is a time to spend withfamily and loved ones, a time
off of work.
A lot of good things happen inthis holiday season and I wish I
did an episode back inThanksgiving to start the
holiday season, but we're justgoing to do this one right now,
(03:22):
kind of all encompassing.
One of the things I founddifficult and I know that some
people still today finddifficult with the holidays in
recovery is the overindulging ofthis country and the holidays
come around and it gives peoplean excuse to eat and drink and
(03:43):
smoke and give thanks and giftsand all of this stuff, and it's
a very tough time for people inrecovery because you feel like
you can't really go out.
You just want to accidentallyrun into a trigger and I
understand that completely.
So the loneliness factor isreally tough during the holiday
(04:05):
season.
I understand that.
Finding a group to share thosemoments with, I know.
Last month I was fortunateenough to go to a group meeting
of sober souls duringThanksgiving.
We played some board games andjust chatted and hung out.
It's really nice to berevitalized around sober people.
So if you are feeling lonely,go on Facebook, even search in
(04:29):
NA or AA.
There are resources out there.
If you are feeling lonely, youdon't want to be triggered, but
you still want to be around verypositive people and live a
healthy and sober life, thereare the resources for you.
Don't hold up.
You don't need to do that.
It's all about really a changeperspective.
One of the things we talkedabout on the podcast I spoke on
(04:50):
is recovery, is this journey,and it's not only about being
sober.
It's all about healing.
It's about finding who you areand all these really beautiful
and good things.
I think in order to do that,you need to be surrounded by
amazing people too.
I've talked about that multipletimes on this podcast.
Doing what you can to find somemore sober people during the
(05:10):
holiday season is definitelyrecommended.
Switching that up.
I know that, like we've said,the holiday season can be a
beautiful time.
It can be a stressful time.
I would like to mention thatwhen you are in recovery, you
are able to change yourperspective.
Now, for me, I don't totallyview it as you know pain and
suffering anymore.
(05:30):
I look forward to the holidays.
Specifically, I look forward togetting a couple days off of
work, seeing some people thatyou know I haven't seen in a
while, eating some good food andgiving thanks and all that
stuff.
So it is tough, being around thefriends and the family who do
use and bringing up memories andstuff like that.
But just taking a step back andtaking it all in, you know it
(05:54):
is.
It's tough, I understand, youknow, and I had a few people
actually comment on the videosthat I had posted when I was
saying about being relentlessand trying to figure out your
bad habits and stuff.
And I do try and keep thingssimple because when you keep
things simple it allows for theother person who's engaged in
(06:15):
listening to put their own twiston it, to put it into words
that they, you know, vibe withthe most.
So when I say, take a step backduring the holiday season, just
understand like there are thingsto be grateful for and, first
and foremost, be grateful foryour sobriety if you're
struggling with recovery.
If you're lonely, be gratefulfor the people that you do have
(06:36):
in your life.
Reach out to them, go find newpeople.
You know that, like I said,there's so many ways to get
involved with a community onlineand in person so don't don't
hold up in your room.
You know I've done it before.
You know, even in the firstyear or two of recovery, and
even not even the holidays, justrecovery in general, I was
pretty, and actually, now thatI'm saying this, the last like
(06:59):
couple of years of my addiction,I definitely hold up, you know,
and I cut myself off from theworld in an attempt to punish
myself for making mistakes, ofhow I treated myself and other
people.
And I understand now thateverybody deserves forgiveness
and you need to forgive yourselfin order to enjoy the present
(07:20):
moment.
So, and what better time to dothat than one of the times
around the entire world thateveryone is a little happier
than than usually for the mostpart?
I'm not saying everybody'shappy, don't generalize my
statements like that, but youget what I'm saying.
So try and change yourperspective about the holidays.
Don't always think about thebad memories of where you came
(07:41):
from.
Instead, be proud of who youare right now and share who you
are right now with the peoplewho love and care about you,
because that's kind of the mostbeautiful thing in life.
I've noticed that in the lastcouple of episodes talked about
connections with people.
I've had Aiden and Brandon onhere and we've talked about
being surrounded with peoplethat inspire you, or people,
(08:03):
people that love you.
You know, like you know we, Idon't, we really are nothing
without the people around us.
You know, for people like oh,I'm an introvert, like yeah, I
get you're an introvert, but youknow no one's like so solo dolo
, that they're okay, like thatwe need, we need people, you
know, in our lives.
What's the point, then?
(08:24):
It's not always about ourhobbies or our job and shit Like
this is the time of the year toyou know.
Be around the people you loveand people you don't even love
yet, or try and find some peoplethat you do love.
You know, try and love yourselfa little bit more.
You know, sorry, I could berambling on, but that's all fine
and dandy, let's see what elseI got here.
(08:45):
Shit during the holiday season.
So, taking a little segue awayfrom the recovery aspect, but
this could apply to the recoveryaspect too.
Wellness, diet and exercise aresuper important and I've seen a
lot of people give up on theirhealthy routines during the
holiday season and it is veryeasy to.
(09:08):
It's very easy to do that.
I totally understand.
Right now, this is almost trialand error.
I've done really well.
This is probably the firstholiday season that I've stayed
consistent with my working outand my dieting.
You know, thanksgiving aside,you can eat some sweets here and
there.
I believe for the weekend that,for Lisa's birthday weekend
that we went up to the cottageup north when I proposed you
(09:29):
know I was eating some, somesweets and stuff, but more or
less like 80 to 85% of the time,I've really been strict with my
diet and my workout routine inthis month leading up to
Christmas, which has allowed meto understand that come
Christmas day, I'm I'm be eatingsome, some motherfucking sweets
.
I'll tell you what I'm gonnaeat some ice cream and some
cookies and shit like that.
You know, cause I've beenworking hard, you know.
(09:51):
But outside of this being apodcast, I feel like it's almost
just like a vlog too, to keepyou interested in my day to day
struggles and shit like that.
So I will be keeping peopleupdated on how well I do with
this holiday season and the, thewellness and the eating stuff,
which is what brought me to thispoint and finding people that
(10:15):
are gonna hold you accountableto those goals the wellness and
the diet and the exercise issuper important and I think,
understanding that I don't fullybelieve that anymore, I don't
fully believe anymore that theholiday season is is an excuse
to give up on taking care ofyourself in terms of what you
eat and your exercise and stuff.
(10:36):
I understand it's hectic, youknow, entertaining friends and
family for more days andweekends than you normally do.
It's tough, I'm not gonna denythat.
But if you change theperspective and the way that you
make excuses for yourself, thenyou can hold yourself
accountable a little bit better.
You know, and you might workout a little bit less, you know,
(11:00):
than you normally did in theweeks leading up to, and maybe
you eat a little more shittythan you know you had planned.
But just keep an eye on it.
The week in between Christmasand New Year's and the week
after New Year's, just just doit up.
Do you be healthy?
You know, understand that it's.
It's super important.
There's 365 days in the year.
(11:22):
I don't really think that we canafford to not look at ourselves
and be happy, healthy andauthentic, and and and and say
no to that.
So there's off days.
I've had off days.
I've had it off a couple ofweeks.
I'll be honest with you.
But I told myself I got to sitdown and do this podcast because
there's some motherfuckers outthere that want to hear what I
got to say.
(11:42):
You know, in the holidayseason's coming up.
So, yeah, sometimes you justdon't feel like taking care of
yourself.
I understand that and itfucking sucks Finding a little
blip, a little moment or secondduring the day that you could
possibly turn it around and berevitalized and be happy in the
moment.
Just take that.
(12:02):
Don't always take a shittysituation and run with it all
day.
You know not definitely tangent, you know off topic, but that's
beside the point.
There are a lot of good, thereare a lot of things to be
grateful for in this life wehave and I don't know
everybody's situation, but I doknow that life isn't so
absolutely fucking miserable100% of the time, all the time
(12:28):
that we can't find something tosmile about or laugh about, and
if there is somebody on thisplanet who is going through a
moment in life where 100% of thetime that it is shitty, then
fucking reach out to me and I'llsee if I can cheer you up or we
can share our pain together,you know, because nobody
(12:48):
deserves to be alone, especiallyduring the holidays, you know.
So I hope those tips helped kindof with the holiday season
that's coming up, which kind ofsegued into me talking about
habits in general, and Iactually wrote down five steps
that I thought would help peoplewith being relentless in trying
(13:12):
to fix their bad habits.
Because of somebody making acomment on YouTube saying that I
oversimplified things and thatit doesn't work like that, and I
mean, if you're gonna take 10seconds of what I've said on an
entire podcast and not go andlisten to the episode to see
what I actually talked aboutbefore and after that, and now
I'm starting to learn about whatreally is the internet and why
(13:36):
it is just as dangerous as I'vealways made it out to be in all
these episodes.
But so after hearing that ordealing with that, I wrote five
steps that I think couldpossibly help with getting your
habits under control that youcould implement.
You can change the order of thesteps around.
You could even add or subtractsteps, but these are five steps
that I think have helped me aton.
(14:00):
Number one is realizing that youhave a problem in the first
place, because I went yearswithout saying that I was a drug
addict or an alcoholic or thatI needed help.
I was always trying to outsmartmyself in my head to say, oh no
, we can figure it out, we canmoderate, or it's not as bad as
(14:20):
you're making it out to be right, and it only got worse.
So finally taking the step torealize this is a bad habit, I
need to do something about it,that was the first step for me
that really helped.
Number two come up with a plan.
If you've got a lot of badhabits that you wanna take out,
don't try and do them all atonce.
(14:41):
Get a plan in place to get theones out of the way that are
affecting you the most and thendeal with the other ones.
But definitely write somethingout, keep a note in your phone
or computer or something, butjust come up with a plan, a
wellness plan or something ofgoals that you wanna accomplish.
So don't just go into wantingto better yourself with a bunch
(15:02):
of energy you don't know whereto direct, because then you're
gonna crash and burn and getdiscouraged.
Number three is talk withpeople who have done something
similar, who have gotten rid ofa similar habit or something
that is relatable to what you'retrying to do, so you can pick
their brain and ask how they didit and stuff like that, because
(15:24):
it ain't easy and sometimes weneed another person's
perspective in order to steer usin the right direction.
So definitely hit some otherpeople up to get their
perspective on it.
Number four and I can't stressthis enough hire a professional.
And this could possibly come atstep number two, which, now
(15:46):
that I'm thinking about it, yeah, hire a professional is
actually my step number two, andthen he helped with three and
four.
For me, I understand, likemoney's tight for a lot of
people and even if you're notgonna go all year all the time,
like, definitely hire somebodywho is going to professionally
(16:08):
point you in the right direction.
Like having somebody's outsideadvice who's done something
similar to you is awesome, isgreat, but hiring somebody who
is actually trained to get youon the right path is a
completely different story.
If you wanna hire anutritionist, psychiatrist,
psychologist, life coach, anexercise coach like, whatever
(16:29):
the case may be, just hiresomebody.
Or God, I can't stress thatenough, cause I wouldn't be the
fucking person I am if I didn'thave hired professionals helping
me.
You know, and, yeah, definitely, seek some professional help.
And number five do not getdiscouraged.
If you fail, if you have asetback, don't get down on
(16:51):
yourself for that.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout this last step because it
has happened to me before.
But just trying to telleverybody to stay positive out
there, you know you're not gonnafix all your problems in one
night or one week or that matter, or even one month.
You know, just, ease up.
You know, I try and tell myselfthat all the time, cause I'm my
(17:13):
worst critic, actually to thepoint where it's de-habilitating
and it ruins my life almostwith how hard I am on myself,
you know.
So, just telling everybody outthere to ease up on yourself.
I think somebody on a clip Isaw on Arielle they said be
gentle with yourself.
You know, and try and like,tell myself that on a daily or
(17:38):
weekly basis when I see myselfgetting a little out of hand
with how I'm treating myself ortalking to myself, and it's just
, you know, ease up, be gentlewith yourself.
So those are the five stepsthat I think could definitely
help with your habits.
But I wanted to talk a littlebit more about those five steps
and, honestly, for the higherprofessional thing, like I've
(18:06):
had Trained therapists come onhere and I've had people talk
about the the wonders of therapy, and I've talked about the
wonders of therapy and I need topractice what I preach a little
bit more.
So I'm letting people know that, hell, I've reached a couple
snags in my life in the last sixmonths, seven months, that I am
not able to do alone.
So I have been and activelyseeking a new therapist, a route
(18:32):
for that, you know, because,yeah, I just can't do it alone.
You know, we think that we canDo it alone and, lo and behold,
I don't.
I don't think we can, you know.
You know it's a very vulnerablemoment, but whether it's gonna
be a mentor or Fuck, evenopening up to somebody close to
(18:52):
you, you know being beingvulnerable is Not talked about
enough, and I know it's.
It's coming out a little bitmore on social media or or how
we talk about men in general,because, you know, as men we've
been raised to bottle ouremotions up and Be manly, man,
(19:12):
man, man, man, man all the time,and you know we don't have to
talk about all the issues thatcome along with that, but
Definitely being able to open upis going to help you out a lot
more than you think.
And I really wish that my pastself could be watching this
video right now and I could justtell them to don't be afraid of
(19:33):
opening up, especially do aprofessional.
Just let them know what thefuck's going on so they can help
you out, you know, and so youcan start learning to love and
forgive yourself, because it'sit's a journey, you know, with
the the last step to not beingso hard on yourself.
I was very hard on myself, for Iwould consider it relapsing for
(19:55):
sure, full-blown relapse ontobacco, video games and sugar
and pornography a Few thingsthat I had under wraps.
I had finally gotten underwraps.
I was in this Weird stasis lastyear before my childhood cat
(20:20):
passed away and it, you know, alot of things happened and I
Relapsed on those bad habits.
Now I'm still sober to this dayfrom drugs and alcohol and I'll
always be proud and thankfulfor that.
So when I say relapse, I'mdefinitely just talking about
Bad wellness practices, butthey're dangerous nonetheless.
(20:41):
You know, if you get addicted tosugar, screen time, pornography
and Tobacco, and then you'readdicted to pain, you're
addicted to shame, you'readdicted to digging a deeper
hole, like it is a very viciouscycle and For an addict, you
know you get addicted to prettymuch anything.
(21:01):
You know you get addicted topleasure and all these other
things that you're taking howyou're gonna get addicted to the
pain that comes with it.
You know.
So that was really.
That was really tough for me andI've been very hard on myself,
as most of you have known.
I've talked about how I haven'tbeen super consistent with the
podcast that I've really wantedto be, and you have just been
(21:23):
getting down to myself.
Haven't been working on writingor my book as much as I'd Like
to have said in the past year,which is also why Leads back to
the other step about hiring aprofessional.
So I'm laying it all out andbear with.
You know, my fans and Peoplewho aren't even my fans that
(21:43):
just might come across thisvideo that if you need some help
, you got to seek that shit out.
And yeah, don't be afraid ofbeing vulnerable, you know, cuz
it just piles up and if youthink you're not gonna dig a
deeper hole, if you think likeI'm gonna get out of it, you
know I'm gonna, I'll get aroundto it.
You know, that's true, you will, but you don't have to go as
(22:07):
deep as you think.
You know, I've always thought,yes, yeah, you don't have to go
as deep in the misery as youthink you do.
And Growing up and you know, youknow with anime and Just who I
am, how I view things and one ofmy, my favorite philosopher,
(22:30):
frederick Nietzsche, the wholewhat doesn't kill you, make you
stronger, quote I always thought, like all the more shit that I
go through, the stronger I'mgonna become, which is not False
, it is true.
But if you continuously makedecisions in Pain and shame and
pleasure and guilt, if youcontinuously make the same
(22:50):
Choices that you've already made, those choices, you've already
been blessed with theopportunity to learn from those,
but you continue to do them andI'd always thought there's
something more.
I got to learn, you know right,and it only ended up hurting me
.
And in my sobriety and Recovery, I'd like to say there's a
(23:14):
difference between the two.
I've I've learned to take thatstep back, you know, and it's,
it's not, it's not easy.
It's not.
I know.
Whatever said it was gonna befucking easy.
You know, I spent eight yearsfucking my life up.
It sure as hell ain't gonna fixit in one month, you know.
So Shit.
(23:35):
Yeah, don't get down onyourself trying to tell myself
this, so maybe I can watch itand listen to it, you know.
So that was kind of my spielfor the day.
I was actually gonna readsomething.
I forgot it at home.
I am, I apologize.
I have been writing a lot morelately, so next time I will be
(23:59):
doing a little bit of a readingfor all of you out there who
enjoy my writing or my poetryand stuff like that.
So I do have that coming up.
I didn't want to talk about myhabits.
Leading up to this.
We talked about the holidays.
We talked about a few things, Ithink, on how we should view
(24:19):
the holidays, we talked abouthabits and now we're just gonna
give a little update on some ofthe shit that I've been doing.
I've been listening to andreading a lot of philosophy.
Again, I've been writing a lotmore in the last month than I
have been in the previous monthsleading up to that.
(24:40):
Ever since I quit smoking.
My physical wellness has beenimmaculate I'd like to say not
perfect, but it's been great.
I feel like I'm in the prettymuch in the best shape of my
life in terms of tone, enduranceand stuff and the things that
I'm eating, so I'm very happywith that.
I have been playing a lot ofStardew Valley shout out to
(25:07):
concerned Ape or Stardew Valley.
Y'all know I love video gamesand it is just a really nice way
for me to wind down or getcentered is when I get to play
strategy video games.
Everybody's got their thing.
So I have been doing a lot ofthat.
A lot of plans for the podcastcoming up in 2024.
(25:30):
I've got a bunch of amazingguests planned and I'm so
excited for everybody to hearthose episodes.
But I'm not gonna drop anynames just yet.
I'm pretty much just gonnasurprise the fuck out of you
guys with that.
So it was really nice speakingon the through the glass
(25:53):
recovery the one I mentionedearlier in the episode with
Steve and Julie who are coachesand sobriety advocates, and they
run a recovery podcast almostlike a panel.
They also host a Zoom call onMondays.
It's almost like a sobermeeting that you can show up to
(26:14):
on Zoom with a bunch of othersober people.
It's Monday nights, I thinkit's seven o'clock, I'm not sure
if it's central or eastern, butI'm pretty sure you can find
them online atthroughtheglassrecoverycom.
You can find them on Instagramtoo, so it was really great
speaking on their podcast, justtalking about sobriety and
(26:36):
recovery.
It revitalized me.
I like these moments where Iget revitalized.
I've told you about my buddy,brandon coming on Revitalized me
.
You know, having Aiden here,it's just really nice to have
that vigor and that change ofperspective, because it's super
easy to get down.
It's super easy to be hard onmyself.
(26:56):
Fuck all that.
You know I say that now becauseI'm trying to get out of it,
but I hope you understand thattoo, that you do have the
ability to find these things inlife.
That will revitalize you, thatwill change your perspective.
There are ways to be gratefulfor the life that you live.
You do not need to be ashamedof the mistakes that you have
(27:19):
made.
Everybody deserves forgiveness,no matter how fucked up the
shit is.
And you know I'm not perfectand I'm sure as fuck not God.
You know I'm not here to judgeanybody, but I feel like the
world needs a lot more love andforgiveness than is out there
right now.
So hopefully, by doing thispodcast, I can inspire not only
(27:44):
myself but all you otherbeautiful souls out there to.
You know, live your best life,feel free.
You know, be authentic, chaseyour dreams, live, live, live.
Live a healthy life.
Do not expect a healthy life tojust fall into your laps.
It's not how it works.
(28:04):
You know, we have the tools inthe year 2023, almost 2024.
We have the tools necessary inorder to make these amazing
changes to our life.
You know, and don't getdiscouraged if you trip up a
little bit.
You know, and my four and ahalf years on this recovery
journey, I slip up all themotherfucking time, you know.
(28:27):
But just smiling through that,getting back up, listening to
what people have to say whenthey want to pump you up, when
they want to talk about howamazing you are, take that to
heart, and the holiday season isthe perfect time to do that.
All the love and forgivenessand gratitude that you could ask
(28:50):
for is coming up in the nextweek or two, so don't miss out
on that.
Really appreciate everybodycoming out today to listen to
the Feel Free podcast.
I'm John Sarone and, yeah, stayup, feel free.
Welcome back to another episode of Feel Free,
the only podcast that'll tellyou to chase your dreams and
call you out on all yourbullshit, myself included.
Special holiday episode.
So happy holidays to everybodywho's listening to.
This Should be a fun and muchneeded weekend after the year
we've all had.
(00:27):
So this episode is a soloepisode.
I will be running it by myselfno guest this week.
However, in a few weeks I dohave a returning guest coming by
to talk about some changes intheir life, some good changes.
My buddy, sam, will be back onto talk about some of the
improvements he's made in hislife.
For now, we're going to betalking mostly about the
(00:48):
holidays.
We're going to be talking abouthabits and recovery, wellness
all that good stuff.
Maybe a few updates on what'sgoing on in my life.
So, yeah, without further ado,let's get into the episode a
little bit.
Actually typed out an outlineand, yeah, I read it a little
bit before.
First thing I would like to sayis I am engaged, so big
(01:14):
congratulations to Lisa and I.
So, yeah, I got down on oneknee while we were up at my
family's cottage, so it was areally magical moment and I'm
excited to spend the rest of mylife with the person I love.
So I just wanted to throw out,obviously, a congratulations and
(01:36):
a little shout out to the womanI love, who's been a integral
part of my wellness and who I amright now always cheering me on
, and I wouldn't be here, and Iwouldn't be doing this podcast,
honestly, if it wasn't for hercheering me on.
So just wanted to say I loveher and thank you, lisa.
Hopefully you hear this.
(01:58):
Number two I wanted to talkabout recovery and wellness
during the holidays.
Now, the first thing I reallywanted to mention is this isn't
technically a recovery podcast,although I do have people come
on to talk about their time inrecovery, working with addiction
and using those stories inorder to inspire people.
(02:20):
But, with that being said, itis not a recovery or even just a
flat out mental health podcast.
It's more of a general wellnesspodcast.
But I still like to use myexperience with recovery to
relate to everybody out there,even people who aren't addicts
or people who just want to behealthier and I was just guest
(02:41):
speaking on a podcast.
I want to throw out Steve andJulie over through the glass
recovery and thank them forhaving me on to talk about
recovery and addiction.
It was awesome and it kind ofinspired me to do a little
segment about the holidays rightnow, because the holidays are
tough for everybody and that'snot just addicts.
But I wanted to give a littlelove to the people in recovery
(03:02):
who are like me and talk about afew things about the holidays
that can get stressful foreverybody.
It is a time to spend withfamily and loved ones, a time
off of work.
A lot of good things happen inthis holiday season and I wish I
did an episode back inThanksgiving to start the
holiday season, but we're justgoing to do this one right now,
(03:22):
kind of all encompassing.
One of the things I founddifficult and I know that some
people still today finddifficult with the holidays in
recovery is the overindulging ofthis country and the holidays
come around and it gives peoplean excuse to eat and drink and
(03:43):
smoke and give thanks and giftsand all of this stuff, and it's
a very tough time for people inrecovery because you feel like
you can't really go out.
You just want to accidentallyrun into a trigger and I
understand that completely.
So the loneliness factor isreally tough during the holiday
(04:05):
season.
I understand that.
Finding a group to share thosemoments with, I know.
Last month I was fortunateenough to go to a group meeting
of sober souls duringThanksgiving.
We played some board games andjust chatted and hung out.
It's really nice to berevitalized around sober people.
So if you are feeling lonely,go on Facebook, even search in
(04:29):
NA or AA.
There are resources out there.
If you are feeling lonely, youdon't want to be triggered, but
you still want to be around verypositive people and live a
healthy and sober life, thereare the resources for you.
Don't hold up.
You don't need to do that.
It's all about really a changeperspective.
One of the things we talkedabout on the podcast I spoke on
(04:50):
is recovery, is this journey,and it's not only about being
sober.
It's all about healing.
It's about finding who you areand all these really beautiful
and good things.
I think in order to do that,you need to be surrounded by
amazing people too.
I've talked about that multipletimes on this podcast.
Doing what you can to find somemore sober people during the
(05:10):
holiday season is definitelyrecommended.
Switching that up.
I know that, like we've said,the holiday season can be a
beautiful time.
It can be a stressful time.
I would like to mention thatwhen you are in recovery, you
are able to change yourperspective.
Now, for me, I don't totallyview it as you know pain and
suffering anymore.
(05:30):
I look forward to the holidays.
Specifically, I look forward togetting a couple days off of
work, seeing some people thatyou know I haven't seen in a
while, eating some good food andgiving thanks and all that
stuff.
So it is tough, being around thefriends and the family who do
use and bringing up memories andstuff like that.
But just taking a step back andtaking it all in, you know it
(05:54):
is.
It's tough, I understand, youknow, and I had a few people
actually comment on the videosthat I had posted when I was
saying about being relentlessand trying to figure out your
bad habits and stuff.
And I do try and keep thingssimple because when you keep
things simple it allows for theother person who's engaged in
(06:15):
listening to put their own twiston it, to put it into words
that they, you know, vibe withthe most.
So when I say, take a step backduring the holiday season, just
understand like there are thingsto be grateful for and, first
and foremost, be grateful foryour sobriety if you're
struggling with recovery.
If you're lonely, be gratefulfor the people that you do have
(06:36):
in your life.
Reach out to them, go find newpeople.
You know that, like I said,there's so many ways to get
involved with a community onlineand in person so don't don't
hold up in your room.
You know I've done it before.
You know, even in the firstyear or two of recovery, and
even not even the holidays, justrecovery in general, I was
pretty, and actually, now thatI'm saying this, the last like
(06:59):
couple of years of my addiction,I definitely hold up, you know,
and I cut myself off from theworld in an attempt to punish
myself for making mistakes, ofhow I treated myself and other
people.
And I understand now thateverybody deserves forgiveness
and you need to forgive yourselfin order to enjoy the present
(07:20):
moment.
So, and what better time to dothat than one of the times
around the entire world thateveryone is a little happier
than than usually for the mostpart?
I'm not saying everybody'shappy, don't generalize my
statements like that, but youget what I'm saying.
So try and change yourperspective about the holidays.
Don't always think about thebad memories of where you came
(07:41):
from.
Instead, be proud of who youare right now and share who you
are right now with the peoplewho love and care about you,
because that's kind of the mostbeautiful thing in life.
I've noticed that in the lastcouple of episodes talked about
connections with people.
I've had Aiden and Brandon onhere and we've talked about
being surrounded with peoplethat inspire you, or people,
(08:03):
people that love you.
You know, like you know we, Idon't, we really are nothing
without the people around us.
You know, for people like oh,I'm an introvert, like yeah, I
get you're an introvert, but youknow no one's like so solo dolo
, that they're okay, like thatwe need, we need people, you
know, in our lives.
What's the point, then?
(08:24):
It's not always about ourhobbies or our job and shit Like
this is the time of the year toyou know.
Be around the people you loveand people you don't even love
yet, or try and find some peoplethat you do love.
You know, try and love yourselfa little bit more.
You know, sorry, I could berambling on, but that's all fine
and dandy, let's see what elseI got here.
(08:45):
Shit during the holiday season.
So, taking a little segue awayfrom the recovery aspect, but
this could apply to the recoveryaspect too.
Wellness, diet and exercise aresuper important and I've seen a
lot of people give up on theirhealthy routines during the
holiday season and it is veryeasy to.
(09:08):
It's very easy to do that.
I totally understand.
Right now, this is almost trialand error.
I've done really well.
This is probably the firstholiday season that I've stayed
consistent with my working outand my dieting.
You know, thanksgiving aside,you can eat some sweets here and
there.
I believe for the weekend that,for Lisa's birthday weekend
that we went up to the cottageup north when I proposed you
(09:29):
know I was eating some, somesweets and stuff, but more or
less like 80 to 85% of the time,I've really been strict with my
diet and my workout routine inthis month leading up to
Christmas, which has allowed meto understand that come
Christmas day, I'm I'm be eatingsome, some motherfucking sweets
.
I'll tell you what I'm gonnaeat some ice cream and some
cookies and shit like that.
You know, cause I've beenworking hard, you know.
(09:51):
But outside of this being apodcast, I feel like it's almost
just like a vlog too, to keepyou interested in my day to day
struggles and shit like that.
So I will be keeping peopleupdated on how well I do with
this holiday season and the, thewellness and the eating stuff,
which is what brought me to thispoint and finding people that
(10:15):
are gonna hold you accountableto those goals the wellness and
the diet and the exercise issuper important and I think,
understanding that I don't fullybelieve that anymore, I don't
fully believe anymore that theholiday season is is an excuse
to give up on taking care ofyourself in terms of what you
eat and your exercise and stuff.
(10:36):
I understand it's hectic, youknow, entertaining friends and
family for more days andweekends than you normally do.
It's tough, I'm not gonna denythat.
But if you change theperspective and the way that you
make excuses for yourself, thenyou can hold yourself
accountable a little bit better.
You know, and you might workout a little bit less, you know,
(11:00):
than you normally did in theweeks leading up to, and maybe
you eat a little more shittythan you know you had planned.
But just keep an eye on it.
The week in between Christmasand New Year's and the week
after New Year's, just just doit up.
Do you be healthy?
You know, understand that it's.
It's super important.
There's 365 days in the year.
(11:22):
I don't really think that we canafford to not look at ourselves
and be happy, healthy andauthentic, and and and and say
no to that.
So there's off days.
I've had off days.
I've had it off a couple ofweeks.
I'll be honest with you.
But I told myself I got to sitdown and do this podcast because
there's some motherfuckers outthere that want to hear what I
got to say.
(11:42):
You know, in the holidayseason's coming up.
So, yeah, sometimes you justdon't feel like taking care of
yourself.
I understand that and itfucking sucks Finding a little
blip, a little moment or secondduring the day that you could
possibly turn it around and berevitalized and be happy in the
moment.
Just take that.
(12:02):
Don't always take a shittysituation and run with it all
day.
You know not definitely tangent, you know off topic, but that's
beside the point.
There are a lot of good, thereare a lot of things to be
grateful for in this life wehave and I don't know
everybody's situation, but I doknow that life isn't so
absolutely fucking miserable100% of the time, all the time
(12:28):
that we can't find something tosmile about or laugh about, and
if there is somebody on thisplanet who is going through a
moment in life where 100% of thetime that it is shitty, then
fucking reach out to me and I'llsee if I can cheer you up or we
can share our pain together,you know, because nobody
(12:48):
deserves to be alone, especiallyduring the holidays, you know.
So I hope those tips helped kindof with the holiday season
that's coming up, which kind ofsegued into me talking about
habits in general, and Iactually wrote down five steps
that I thought would help peoplewith being relentless in trying
(13:12):
to fix their bad habits.
Because of somebody making acomment on YouTube saying that I
oversimplified things and thatit doesn't work like that, and I
mean, if you're gonna take 10seconds of what I've said on an
entire podcast and not go andlisten to the episode to see
what I actually talked aboutbefore and after that, and now
I'm starting to learn about whatreally is the internet and why
(13:36):
it is just as dangerous as I'vealways made it out to be in all
these episodes.
But so after hearing that ordealing with that, I wrote five
steps that I think couldpossibly help with getting your
habits under control that youcould implement.
You can change the order of thesteps around.
You could even add or subtractsteps, but these are five steps
that I think have helped me aton.
(14:00):
Number one is realizing that youhave a problem in the first
place, because I went yearswithout saying that I was a drug
addict or an alcoholic or thatI needed help.
I was always trying to outsmartmyself in my head to say, oh no
, we can figure it out, we canmoderate, or it's not as bad as
(14:20):
you're making it out to be right, and it only got worse.
So finally taking the step torealize this is a bad habit, I
need to do something about it,that was the first step for me
that really helped.
Number two come up with a plan.
If you've got a lot of badhabits that you wanna take out,
don't try and do them all atonce.
(14:41):
Get a plan in place to get theones out of the way that are
affecting you the most and thendeal with the other ones.
But definitely write somethingout, keep a note in your phone
or computer or something, butjust come up with a plan, a
wellness plan or something ofgoals that you wanna accomplish.
So don't just go into wantingto better yourself with a bunch
(15:02):
of energy you don't know whereto direct, because then you're
gonna crash and burn and getdiscouraged.
Number three is talk withpeople who have done something
similar, who have gotten rid ofa similar habit or something
that is relatable to what you'retrying to do, so you can pick
their brain and ask how they didit and stuff like that, because
(15:24):
it ain't easy and sometimes weneed another person's
perspective in order to steer usin the right direction.
So definitely hit some otherpeople up to get their
perspective on it.
Number four and I can't stressthis enough hire a professional.
And this could possibly come atstep number two, which, now
(15:46):
that I'm thinking about it, yeah, hire a professional is
actually my step number two, andthen he helped with three and
four.
For me, I understand, likemoney's tight for a lot of
people and even if you're notgonna go all year all the time,
like, definitely hire somebodywho is going to professionally
(16:08):
point you in the right direction.
Like having somebody's outsideadvice who's done something
similar to you is awesome, isgreat, but hiring somebody who
is actually trained to get youon the right path is a
completely different story.
If you wanna hire anutritionist, psychiatrist,
psychologist, life coach, anexercise coach like, whatever
(16:29):
the case may be, just hiresomebody.
Or God, I can't stress thatenough, cause I wouldn't be the
fucking person I am if I didn'thave hired professionals helping
me.
You know, and, yeah, definitely, seek some professional help.
And number five do not getdiscouraged.
If you fail, if you have asetback, don't get down on
(16:51):
yourself for that.
I'm gonna talk a little bitabout this last step because it
has happened to me before.
But just trying to telleverybody to stay positive out
there, you know you're not gonnafix all your problems in one
night or one week or that matter, or even one month.
You know, just, ease up.
You know, I try and tell myselfthat all the time, cause I'm my
(17:13):
worst critic, actually to thepoint where it's de-habilitating
and it ruins my life almostwith how hard I am on myself,
you know.
So, just telling everybody outthere to ease up on yourself.
I think somebody on a clip Isaw on Arielle they said be
gentle with yourself.
You know, and try and like,tell myself that on a daily or
(17:38):
weekly basis when I see myselfgetting a little out of hand
with how I'm treating myself ortalking to myself, and it's just
, you know, ease up, be gentlewith yourself.
So those are the five stepsthat I think could definitely
help with your habits.
But I wanted to talk a littlebit more about those five steps
and, honestly, for the higherprofessional thing, like I've
(18:06):
had Trained therapists come onhere and I've had people talk
about the the wonders of therapy, and I've talked about the
wonders of therapy and I need topractice what I preach a little
bit more.
So I'm letting people know that, hell, I've reached a couple
snags in my life in the last sixmonths, seven months, that I am
not able to do alone.
So I have been and activelyseeking a new therapist, a route
(18:32):
for that, you know, because,yeah, I just can't do it alone.
You know, we think that we canDo it alone and, lo and behold,
I don't.
I don't think we can, you know.
You know it's a very vulnerablemoment, but whether it's gonna
be a mentor or Fuck, evenopening up to somebody close to
(18:52):
you, you know being beingvulnerable is Not talked about
enough, and I know it's.
It's coming out a little bitmore on social media or or how
we talk about men in general,because, you know, as men we've
been raised to bottle ouremotions up and Be manly, man,
(19:12):
man, man, man, man all the time,and you know we don't have to
talk about all the issues thatcome along with that, but
Definitely being able to open upis going to help you out a lot
more than you think.
And I really wish that my pastself could be watching this
video right now and I could justtell them to don't be afraid of
(19:33):
opening up, especially do aprofessional.
Just let them know what thefuck's going on so they can help
you out, you know, and so youcan start learning to love and
forgive yourself, because it'sit's a journey, you know, with
the the last step to not beingso hard on yourself.
I was very hard on myself, for Iwould consider it relapsing for
(19:55):
sure, full-blown relapse ontobacco, video games and sugar
and pornography a Few thingsthat I had under wraps.
I had finally gotten underwraps.
I was in this Weird stasis lastyear before my childhood cat
(20:20):
passed away and it, you know, alot of things happened and I
Relapsed on those bad habits.
Now I'm still sober to this dayfrom drugs and alcohol and I'll
always be proud and thankfulfor that.
So when I say relapse, I'mdefinitely just talking about
Bad wellness practices, butthey're dangerous nonetheless.
(20:41):
You know, if you get addicted tosugar, screen time, pornography
and Tobacco, and then you'readdicted to pain, you're
addicted to shame, you'readdicted to digging a deeper
hole, like it is a very viciouscycle and For an addict, you
know you get addicted to prettymuch anything.
(21:01):
You know you get addicted topleasure and all these other
things that you're taking howyou're gonna get addicted to the
pain that comes with it.
You know.
So that was really.
That was really tough for me andI've been very hard on myself,
as most of you have known.
I've talked about how I haven'tbeen super consistent with the
podcast that I've really wantedto be, and you have just been
(21:23):
getting down to myself.
Haven't been working on writingor my book as much as I'd Like
to have said in the past year,which is also why Leads back to
the other step about hiring aprofessional.
So I'm laying it all out andbear with.
You know, my fans and Peoplewho aren't even my fans that
(21:43):
just might come across thisvideo that if you need some help
, you got to seek that shit out.
And yeah, don't be afraid ofbeing vulnerable, you know, cuz
it just piles up and if youthink you're not gonna dig a
deeper hole, if you think likeI'm gonna get out of it, you
know I'm gonna, I'll get aroundto it.
You know, that's true, you will, but you don't have to go as
(22:07):
deep as you think.
You know, I've always thought,yes, yeah, you don't have to go
as deep in the misery as youthink you do.
And Growing up and you know, youknow with anime and Just who I
am, how I view things and one ofmy, my favorite philosopher,
(22:30):
frederick Nietzsche, the wholewhat doesn't kill you, make you
stronger, quote I always thought, like all the more shit that I
go through, the stronger I'mgonna become, which is not False
, it is true.
But if you continuously makedecisions in Pain and shame and
pleasure and guilt, if youcontinuously make the same
(22:50):
Choices that you've already made, those choices, you've already
been blessed with theopportunity to learn from those,
but you continue to do them andI'd always thought there's
something more.
I got to learn, you know right,and it only ended up hurting me
.
And in my sobriety and Recovery, I'd like to say there's a
(23:14):
difference between the two.
I've I've learned to take thatstep back, you know, and it's,
it's not, it's not easy.
It's not.
I know.
Whatever said it was gonna befucking easy.
You know, I spent eight yearsfucking my life up.
It sure as hell ain't gonna fixit in one month, you know.
So Shit.
(23:35):
Yeah, don't get down onyourself trying to tell myself
this, so maybe I can watch itand listen to it, you know.
So that was kind of my spielfor the day.
I was actually gonna readsomething.
I forgot it at home.
I am, I apologize.
I have been writing a lot morelately, so next time I will be
(23:59):
doing a little bit of a readingfor all of you out there who
enjoy my writing or my poetryand stuff like that.
So I do have that coming up.
I didn't want to talk about myhabits.
Leading up to this.
We talked about the holidays.
We talked about a few things, Ithink, on how we should view
(24:19):
the holidays, we talked abouthabits and now we're just gonna
give a little update on some ofthe shit that I've been doing.
I've been listening to andreading a lot of philosophy.
Again, I've been writing a lotmore in the last month than I
have been in the previous monthsleading up to that.
(24:40):
Ever since I quit smoking.
My physical wellness has beenimmaculate I'd like to say not
perfect, but it's been great.
I feel like I'm in the prettymuch in the best shape of my
life in terms of tone, enduranceand stuff and the things that
I'm eating, so I'm very happywith that.
I have been playing a lot ofStardew Valley shout out to
(25:07):
concerned Ape or Stardew Valley.
Y'all know I love video gamesand it is just a really nice way
for me to wind down or getcentered is when I get to play
strategy video games.
Everybody's got their thing.
So I have been doing a lot ofthat.
A lot of plans for the podcastcoming up in 2024.
(25:30):
I've got a bunch of amazingguests planned and I'm so
excited for everybody to hearthose episodes.
But I'm not gonna drop anynames just yet.
I'm pretty much just gonnasurprise the fuck out of you
guys with that.
So it was really nice speakingon the through the glass
(25:53):
recovery the one I mentionedearlier in the episode with
Steve and Julie who are coachesand sobriety advocates, and they
run a recovery podcast almostlike a panel.
They also host a Zoom call onMondays.
It's almost like a sobermeeting that you can show up to
(26:14):
on Zoom with a bunch of othersober people.
It's Monday nights, I thinkit's seven o'clock, I'm not sure
if it's central or eastern, butI'm pretty sure you can find
them online atthroughtheglassrecoverycom.
You can find them on Instagramtoo, so it was really great
speaking on their podcast, justtalking about sobriety and
(26:36):
recovery.
It revitalized me.
I like these moments where Iget revitalized.
I've told you about my buddy,brandon coming on Revitalized me
.
You know, having Aiden here,it's just really nice to have
that vigor and that change ofperspective, because it's super
easy to get down.
It's super easy to be hard onmyself.
(26:56):
Fuck all that.
You know I say that now becauseI'm trying to get out of it,
but I hope you understand thattoo, that you do have the
ability to find these things inlife.
That will revitalize you, thatwill change your perspective.
There are ways to be gratefulfor the life that you live.
You do not need to be ashamedof the mistakes that you have
(27:19):
made.
Everybody deserves forgiveness,no matter how fucked up the
shit is.
And you know I'm not perfectand I'm sure as fuck not God.
You know I'm not here to judgeanybody, but I feel like the
world needs a lot more love andforgiveness than is out there
right now.
So hopefully, by doing thispodcast, I can inspire not only
(27:44):
myself but all you otherbeautiful souls out there to.
You know, live your best life,feel free.
You know, be authentic, chaseyour dreams, live, live, live.
Live a healthy life.
Do not expect a healthy life tojust fall into your laps.
It's not how it works.
(28:04):
You know, we have the tools inthe year 2023, almost 2024.
We have the tools necessary inorder to make these amazing
changes to our life.
You know, and don't getdiscouraged if you trip up a
little bit.
You know, and my four and ahalf years on this recovery
journey, I slip up all themotherfucking time, you know.
(28:27):
But just smiling through that,getting back up, listening to
what people have to say whenthey want to pump you up, when
they want to talk about howamazing you are, take that to
heart, and the holiday season isthe perfect time to do that.
All the love and forgivenessand gratitude that you could ask
(28:50):
for is coming up in the nextweek or two, so don't miss out
on that.
Really appreciate everybodycoming out today to listen to
the Feel Free podcast.
I'm John Sarone and, yeah, stayup, feel free.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!